Introduction To Tonglen To Soften The Heart & Remove Armor

In her most beloved book "When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times", Pema Chodron introduces readers to the practice of "sending and receiving" known as "tonglen." This is a practice that seeks to open up the heart to an expansive sense of freshness and compassion by moving toward painful situations (not away). This recording is an introduction to tonglen that invites you to spark joy and peace in the present moment through breath, intention, and shared connection.

Transcript

All right,

So go ahead and begin to welcome in some relaxation,

Starting out with openness.

And we're actually going to begin with open eyes,

Settling in,

Settling down and comfortably with a slight gaze downward,

Directed maybe like four to six feet in front of you.

And perhaps you're sitting on a cushion or on a floor or in a chair,

Allowing the feet to rest,

Perhaps flat or simply ironing out any tilting or like a sickling of the ankle,

Just getting nice and comfortable.

For those who are sitting in a chair,

Allowing the knees to be comfortably placed a few inches apart,

Perhaps crossing the legs comfortably,

Perhaps placing the feet flat on the ground,

Noticing any texture or a heat or cold of the floor that's beneath you.

And in some way,

Allowing the torso to be upright as much as possible,

As comfortable as possible,

Just allowing there to be a strong back,

Strong support with an open chest and an open heart,

Perhaps rolling shoulders backwards to access that place.

Allowing in more and more openness so that you may feel touched and very loving and a very safe and a very impactful way.

And with your hands as well,

Sharing in that openness with the palms down,

Resting comfortably on the thighs.

And just noticing some waves of relaxation already coming over their body with the mouth being ever so slightly open,

More like a relaxed resting position.

So the jaw is relaxed and air is naturally flowing,

Easily flowing both through the mouth and the nose.

Noticing the position of the tongue and perhaps even placing the tip of the tongue on the roof of the mouth.

Good.

Really allowing yourself to start to ground and become present,

Or perhaps welcome in groundlessness.

And if at any time you find that any thoughts have carried you away,

You can say to yourself the word thinking,

Breaking that pattern and letting yourself come back to this openness,

This presence.

Good.

Very good.

And from this place of open presence,

I invite you to begin to welcome the idea of practicing Tonglen,

This sending and receiving.

And so you can go ahead and allow the eyes to close all the way down now,

Closing the eyes down with this open heart.

Remembering that this is a practice that allows you to feel less burdened,

To feel less cramped.

This is a practice that helps you love without conditions.

With this open heart,

Relaxing even deeper,

Closing out the chaotic external world and opening up to the more peaceful inner world.

Good.

And beginning to deepen your presence and relaxation as you take three intentional breaths here now,

Allowing this practice to be both gentle and yet also one of precise discipline.

Inhaling in through the nose with intention and exhaling out through the mouth,

Releasing,

Relaxing and letting go into the present moment more and more.

Two more times here now,

Inhaling through the nose with intention,

Noticing the cool air as you inhale and exhale out the mouth,

Noticing the warm air releasing into spaciousness,

Beginning to let that old armor begin to dissolve.

Good.

And allowing the next series of breaths to be even more intentional,

Relaxing even deeper,

Knowing that you are following the instruction just as centuries of meditators have done before you.

Taking this last breath intentionally together,

Breathing in through the nose,

This time holding at the top,

Taking in one more sip of air and then exhale,

Release and letting this out breath be a metaphor for softening.

Good.

Softening here now,

Releasing into this openness,

Softening into openness as you allow the breath to flow to a natural,

Comfortable cadence now.

Taking in the fundamental richness of this present moment.

As you do that now,

Knowing and remembering that all things are temporary,

As you begin to call in a deeper sense of awareness and compassion here now.

Good.

And I invite you to bring to mind a challenging situation for someone that you care about.

Bringing to mind a painful situation that is real to you.

Whatever it is,

Allowing something to come to mind,

Something that is challenging or a struggle or maybe even painful emotionally.

Increasing your sense of compassion now as you breathe into the openness of the heart.

Good.

And beginning to give yourself the permission to feel now.

Breathing in a feeling of hot or dark or maybe even heaviness.

And breathing out a feeling of cool or bright or light.

Breathing out a sense of freshness.

Good.

And continuing this practice,

Breathing in completely through every pore of the body.

Breathing in hot,

Dark,

Heaviness,

Something painful,

Something suffering.

And radiating out this cool,

Bright,

Light,

Freshness all throughout every single pore of the body.

Good.

Holding the feelings of this challenging situation in your heart now and utilizing your breath to breathe in the heaviness and breathe out a sense of freshness,

A sense of lightness as you do.

Good.

And taking a few moments to really embody this practice here now with each and every inhale and every exhale while I remain silent for just a moment.

Good,

Good,

Very good.

You're doing very,

Very well.

Continuing to breathe in this relatable suffering and pain and breathing it in so that everyone else can be free of it.

And as you breathe out that freshness,

That joy,

This happiness,

Breathing out so that everyone can experience that joy,

That freshness,

That happiness.

And starting to make this process,

This practice bigger and bigger now,

Expanding this sending and receiving beyond that someone you care for and adding in others who are knowingly or perhaps unknowingly in the same boat.

Good.

Taking a few moments to expand and to pause,

Deepening your understanding while I remain silent once again.

Good.

You're doing very,

Very well.

Taking a moment here now to extend this breathing in of suffering and breathing out of joy even further now.

Perhaps extending this practice out to those who you may consider to be particularly challenging individuals for you.

Perhaps taking a few breaths for them.

Or perhaps expanding and extending this Tonglen practice so deeply,

So expansively here now,

Extending Tonglen indefinitely.

Whatever you choose,

Allowing your sense of understanding and compassion to extend as well.

Good.

And taking your time,

Allowing the breath to be a guiding tool.

Good.

Continuing your breath easily and effortlessly.

And through this process,

Through the breath here now,

Noticing more and more that old armor of protection beginning to dissolve,

Softening,

Softening deeper and deeper and opening up your whole being,

Softening the heart,

Feeling lighter and lighter,

Softening even more,

Feeling less burdened,

Less cramped,

Really allowing that old armor to dissolve here now.

As you really begin to feel,

Sense and know with your whole heart that that armor hasn't been protecting you from pain.

That armor has been preventing you from compassion.

Up until now,

Preventing you from deep and transformative connection.

Up until now,

Preventing you from experiencing the richness of being.

And as you open up more and more to feeling,

You open up more and more to seeing things from a broader perspective.

You open up more and more to experiencing a sense of wonder here now.

As you really allow the heart to feel the depths of lightness,

Connection and joy.

Because the truth is,

The more you connect with a bigger perspective,

The more you connect with energetic joy.

And the more you connect with energetic joy,

The more you connect with a bigger perspective.

Feeling a deep sense of understanding,

Compassion and lightness,

Filling up that open,

Spacious heart space now as you allow any old remaining armor to be released.

Now dissolving into peace.

Filling in more and more peace.

Peace of mind,

Peace of heart.

Therefore allowing you to be a servant of peace.

Prioritizing peace and adding peace to the world,

Even if just for this present moment.

Realizing that this practice allows you to transform your mind and actions for the sake of other people,

As well as for the future of the world.

Feeling a wave of gratitude for yourself for taking this time to find and remember a fresh state of being that truly is fundamental richness.

Sitting with this fundamental richness,

Really allowing in a wave of gratitude,

This deeper sense of compassion,

Understanding and connection with yourself and therefore with others.

Allowing that to be absorbed into every single cell of the body,

Mind and spirit here now.

As you begin to bring a sense of awareness back to the body.

Wiggling fingers and toes,

Digging a nice deep intentional breath into that open heart space of yours and breathing out a spark of joy,

Ready to take on the world around you.

And when you are ready,

With a smile forming on the face,

Allowing the eyes to open,

Coming fully back to this time and to this place with an open heart and an open mind.

Reviews

Wowsie I fell in love with the voice, the instructions and everything about it. As stated in the name of the meditation, it truly did soften my heart and everything built to protect it.