Confidence & Humbleness - A Talk On The Delicate Balance

Finding talks about confidence and self-worth are abundant in the self-healing space however I would like to give special attention to the delicate balance of being confident and humble at the same time for self-growth. I have given this great thought to my own personal development and hope this will serve as a conversation of growth to create clarity around this delicate conversation on how to be confident and humble.

Transcript

And welcome to today's episode where we are talking about confidence and humility.

And I've really been wanting to bring this topic to you guys and that is the really fine balance of confidence and humility.

And I've been questioning this a lot because I'm in a space for sure where I have to appear very confident in what I know and I am confident in what I know.

However there's this delicate balance of making sure that it comes through as,

You know,

This is not me being cocky,

It's not the know all.

There really is like a lack of knowing in everything that I know.

And it's just what I know based on my experience.

And if you heard a lot of my podcasts or talks or been to my lives,

Then you may even hear me say like this is repeatedly over and over and over again is that this is my experience,

It's nobody else's experience and that's because I want to make sure that I'm being mindful of myself by staying humble.

Knowing that nobody else's experiences,

It doesn't make me better than anybody else,

Doesn't make me less than.

And I want to talk about this,

That delicate balance that is required in order to make sure that someone is confident yet humble.

Because I'm sure you know someone out there that may seem very cocky.

And I came by this young kid and he was very confident yet it was passing the threshold of cockiness.

And that was because of his lack of experience.

You could only be just compassionate,

Understanding that he's not yet learned the lessons that he needs to learn and that's okay.

He will learn the lessons of humility and really being overly confident because that's what turns into cocky,

Right?

So let's define what these words really mean first before I go into it.

So confidence is the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

It's a feeling of self assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

And now humility or being humble is having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance.

Now these both sound pretty contradicting with one another.

And you know,

For me,

The definition really doesn't give it justice in explaining really what humble is.

It really is a feeling and confidence too really is a feeling.

It's a feeling of like knowing self.

And so my definition of confidence is like really understanding like I know who I am and it is the truth.

And in humbleness,

It's like knowing that,

You know,

I have a place in this world,

Which is important,

But that doesn't make me more important than someone else.

It's stepping into that,

Yeah,

I know who I am and it's important for me,

But that's for me,

No one else.

And knowing that someone else may have a better way for themselves or better way in general,

But I'm not one to judge to be able to make that decision because all I know is what I know.

I don't know what anybody else knows.

And so humility or being humble is just recognizing that I am not greater or less than nor is anybody else greater or less than in regards to their experience.

It is just simply their experience.

Now in my space for sure,

I have to be very confident.

And I would say that within the space of anything,

You know,

If you guys are out there and you're listening and you're in business and you have your,

You know,

You're in entrepreneurship or you know,

Maybe you're,

You're in your specialization,

Like you have to have a level of confidence,

Of course.

And being able to have that confidence is what essentially sells you.

It's what people need to have in order to feel and trust,

Trust in you to do the work that you do.

But then there's also a very delicate need to be also humble within even your field that you're in so that you can continue to learn and grow.

Because if we don't,

Then how do we know that there may be a better way of doing things?

If we're repeating a pattern with how things have been,

Then there's no room for improvement,

For change to improve.

So if I really looked at this,

I can compare it to modern day medicine,

How in medicine,

Traditionally,

If we look at the history,

There was a lot of confidence within the system and how it worked.

And it took really those pioneers within the field that had to sit back and say,

Hey,

You know,

There may be a better way.

One known example of this is by the doctor Ignaz Philipp Semmelis,

Semmelis,

I may be saying that incorrectly,

But it's a Hungarian doctor that basically made the discovery that unwashed hands could kill someone.

And really,

He's one of the pioneers that gave this postulation that,

Hey,

You know,

If you wash your hands,

Then we could reduce death in child-born illnesses or maternal women for those that are giving birth.

Because there was this idiopathic or unknown cause of women dying from fever after giving birth.

And this doctor was the first one that made this proposal that,

Hey,

We need to wash our hands.

And he was very much ridiculed,

And most of the physicians at this time,

And I mean,

This was back in the 1850s,

So,

You know,

Well over 170 years ago,

When this doctor made this discovery.

And you have to think back then that society-wise,

Culturally,

Doctors were seen as better than,

They were seen as prestigious,

They were seen above.

And so when this doctor said this,

That doctors needed to take a step to change their process by washing their hands,

All the doctors ridiculed and said,

No,

Absolutely,

How can you say that it's from me?

And they were honestly being cocky,

Being overconfident of who they were.

And this led to many deaths because of that.

And it wasn't until later when bacteriology and the whole study of this science of bacteria that came to flourish with the spread of different diseases that they finally acknowledged his proposal and then,

You know,

Changed their habits by simply washing their hands.

And of course,

What they saw after doing studies is that there was a reduction in mortality for these women.

And of course,

This doctor,

You know,

Didn't live long enough to be able to see this to happen and it took some time,

But I really love this story in demonstrating how one would need to be humble to advance their field,

How one would need to be humble to be able to recognize like,

Hey,

I don't know everything.

And maybe what I don't know could make us better.

And I think that we need to approach life like this all the time with having confidence in ourselves,

But still having a curiosity of saying like,

Oh,

Could there be something more?

Like,

Could there be something that I'm not seeing?

Could this other person's point of view be different or help me be even better?

And you know,

When we look at people and we look up at them,

For example,

Like a doctor,

Or if we look down at them,

Let's say like a janitor,

Like we really don't see who they are.

And we can't judge that someone is less or more than or less than someone.

They're all just human.

We are all simply human and man,

Have I met.

So of course,

For those that know me,

I've,

You know,

Throughout med school,

When I was doing my clinical rotations,

I would round with many certified nurses assistants and nurses and I'm from South Florida.

So we have a very large population of Cuban immigrants that came here.

And I will never forget like doing my rounds through different rotations like internal medicine and just starting these conversations with these nurses or these CNAs who,

You know,

Certified nurses assistants basically get a nine month degree.

You know,

They do a course study,

I believe it's nine months and then they,

You know,

Are basically nurses aides.

And I've sat with them and I just got to know them,

You know,

Like,

Hey,

How are you doing?

You know,

I was very cordial and friendly throughout med school.

And I found out like a number of them were actually doctors that practiced in Cuba.

And they practiced for many,

Many years.

And man,

Did they have so much insight because they were sitting there with these patients all day.

And they would get more information by sitting with them all day.

But nobody would talk to them normally.

Like it just amazed me that I saw these med students walking around and they would just completely ignore them or have them like go do stuff for them.

But nobody really talked to them.

Man,

The minute I would,

Because in med school,

Of course,

You have to do these like reports and write these papers and you usually like,

You know,

Present your case to the attending physicians and you wanted to make sure you had all your information when you presented.

And the first person I would go and talk to if there was a certified nurse assistant or a nurse's aide in there,

Like and they're sitting like bed to bed watching the patient all day.

Like I would ask them,

Like,

Have you noticed anything?

What's been going on?

If the person's not fully aware and conscious and sleeping,

Like I really would get any information around me because that person had so much to offer.

And it really took me being like,

Okay,

You know what,

I don't know everything.

Like I'm reading all these books.

Of course,

I'm clearly far from knowing a lot,

But just a simple conversation of being open to someone else led me to far more information that they actually had.

You know,

And one time I was talking to a nurse's assistant and they were,

They just,

You know,

With their broken English,

They gave me so much.

And I was just like,

And at one point we actually had someone that was exhibiting really,

Really concerning symptoms.

And this person really helped us actually uncover,

You know,

A final diagnosis in what was going on with this person.

And so this example is just that you have to be aware around you.

Like,

You know,

You don't know who is around you.

You don't know what they've experienced.

You don't know how much they know.

And I would say the same for anybody else that talks to you.

People don't know who you are.

They don't know how much you experience.

And so it's not our job to prove it to someone else.

It really comes at a delicate mean of being calm and confident about who you are,

Knowing who you are,

But yet humble to whatever this person may say.

And not many people have this kind of tuned in properly,

But that's okay.

I'm here to develop myself.

I'm here to learn who I am.

And I would want to make sure that I did not miss out on any opportunity of growth by listening to someone else.

And of course,

Like,

It's very important,

You know,

About confidence.

And I do feel that even with social media and with other podcasts or people out there,

Like we're very focused on self-care,

On self-worth,

On confidence.

It's important.

But so is humility and being humble and recognizing those two to create a nice balance that we can really value who we are at the same time being humble with who we are,

Knowing that if we're on this earth and we're walking on this plane of existence,

Then we all have room to be better.

And I think when one person says that,

Oh no,

I'm already at that point,

That I'm at a place of like perfection or that there's nothing I can improve or change about myself,

I would say that person needs a nice lesson in humility or that person,

You know,

Needs to wake up because they're basically saying there's nothing else for you to learn.

And I believe that if we learned everything that we need to learn in this reality,

Then we wouldn't be here,

That we would have ascended into a non-physical reality.

We would have ascended into a different existence.

And you know,

There are some people out there that choose to,

Of course,

Come on this plane and walk and be gurus.

And you know,

I'm not a big fan of gurus,

But there are definitely certain people out there that I do believe that are humbly here to help and teach others.

And there's no evidence of anything else than that in their life and with who they are.

There's no other evidence that they are anything but here to just teach and educate others.

And for me,

Those are the people that I see as gurus,

You know,

That are purely here,

Not for self,

But for others.

And I think that's hard to find though,

Truly,

Because,

You know,

We have most people out there are screening themselves for the public.

Most people are screening what they give because of fear of rejection,

Because of wanting to be accepted or wanting to be successful or wanting to be,

You know,

This person that everybody looks up to.

And that's why I'll even attest that if,

You know,

Whoever you go to for facilitation or help or guidance that you just fully recognize that they don't have all the answers for you only you'll know if that answer is right for you,

Even a guru,

Even a guru.

So you're the best truth,

Truth barometer to who you are.

And other people can help guide you to that.

But make sure that you're still listening to yourself while being humble,

You know,

Giving value to yourself,

Being honest with yourself,

You know,

Giving yourself everything that you need first and foremost,

While still being open to learn to grow.

And you know that just because you have,

Let's say,

That six digit income,

Or let's say,

Let's say you're making a million dollars a year or above or that your net worth is worth this and that you have multi billion dollar companies,

Or you have a CEO title or whatever it is,

Like,

It doesn't matter,

You're still human.

And some of the most wealthy and successful entrepreneurs,

For example,

That seem like they have it all figured out are the ones first ones to admit that they don't.

They're the first ones to acknowledge that they still have a lot to learn and to grow.

And I think that's,

That is true evidence of someone that really,

Really has true confidence,

You know,

That good type of confidence that is well balanced with their humility of being open for growth and for change still,

Because there's always a way to make things better,

Always.

And everything around you is a demonstration of that.

If we thought that we had everything perfect and wonderful and great,

Then,

For example,

Your cell phone would not be your cell phone.

You know,

If the first edition of the cell phone,

If you guys are,

You know,

Of my age,

Then you would remember the first cell phone that was developed with that big brick,

Like,

You know,

Huge brick size thing.

And it wasn't,

Of course,

Because if we look at our cell phones now,

The technology within them is so far more advanced.

And we can search the web and we can do far more than that brick size phone.

And so there's always room for growth,

No matter where we're looking.

And I think being open to that is humility,

Being open to see the opportunities for improvement in everyone,

In anyone that you meet,

And learning whatever lessons you can from those people.

You know,

Either that be to bring them into your circle or to even push them out of your circle because a lot of what they say don't align.

But it's still just being open to,

You know,

Hear someone out to see if they may know something or if their experience can help your experience to expand your consciousness,

To expand your awareness,

To find who you are even more,

To learn more about yourself.

And if your mission is even to,

You know,

To help others,

Then to be open to that intention that maybe other people can help to help you reach your goals.

You know,

Either that be in business or being a coach or being a therapist or helping others or simply just being a better person.

Like even if you don't align with someone else,

They still may be able to help you in that mission.

So that's kind of my rant in regards to confidence and humility.

And it's a necessary conversation that I felt was important,

Especially with so much out there on social media and other platforms and TV and just recognizing like in the end,

We are all human.

We're all here for the same thing.

We all are very important in this world collectively,

No matter where you are.

If you're a doctor,

If you're a CEO,

If you're a janitor,

If you're the teacher or the nurse,

It doesn't matter who you are,

Your position and place in this world and this existence is important.

And we all have the ability to learn and grow from one another.

And that is confidence and humility and moving forward through life.

I choose to do that.

And the one thing that will help you choose to do that is just by being fully aware,

Being fully aware of yourself,

Being fully aware of others.

And that's pretty much it.

So I hope this conversation helped shed further light in it.

And yeah,

I have a great day everybody and take care.

Bye.

Reviews

You are awesome ♥️ and wise.
Thank you for this wonderful talk and perspective.