Hello,
I'm Annie Musu,
A certified EFT tapping master practitioner.
I help women build confidence,
Set boundaries,
And enjoy healthy relationships.
Welcome to my podcast,
Hush Your Mind,
Building a better relationship with yourself.
On this show,
I offer practical wisdom to help
you clear fears,
Limiting beliefs,
And trauma so that you can gracefully create a life you love.
Welcome to episode number 30 of my podcast,
Hush Your Mind,
Building a better relationship with
yourself.
Experiencing a breakup can be traumatic.
Like the death of a loved one,
Breakups can cause overwhelming and enduring grief.
The heartbreak feels excruciating,
Yet we sense the world needs us to hasten the recovery process.
We may not want to fully face
the pain.
We wonder if we even have the necessary strength.
The occasional or frequent waves of
agony that interrupt our day are already unbearable.
How can we start to gather the
shattered bits of ourselves?
May these three gentle tips to heal from a breakup give you
support,
Courage,
And hope.
Tip number one is embrace your emotions.
As painful as it is,
We must embrace our emotions if we want to heal from a breakup.
Many of us tend to resist
challenging emotions,
Which creates more pain in the long run.
Instead,
We want to learn how to
acknowledge and work with our emotions.
What's more,
Chronic stress and pain ravage our mind and
body and keep us in fight-flight-freeze mode.
As a result,
Our body's capacity to rest and repair
diminishes.
This also tends to create a vicious cycle of negative thinking.
Fortunately,
We can
use EFT tapping to reduce the intensity of negative emotions,
Lower our stress levels,
And
boost our immune system.
Try this round of EFT tapping.
Use four fingers of one hand to tap on
the side of the other hand and say,
Even though my heart is broken because this relationship is over,
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Say that two more times while tapping.
Let's do it together.
Even though my heart is broken because this relationship is over,
I deeply and completely
accept myself.
One more time.
Even though my heart is broken because this relationship is over,
I deeply and
completely accept myself.
Then tap five to seven times on the top of your head and say,
My heart is
broken.
Tap at the beginning of your eyebrow and say,
I feel so sad.
Tap on the side of your eye,
This heavy feeling in my
body.
Tap under your eye,
The relationship is over.
Under your nose,
This grief and loss.
Under your mouth,
My
heart is broken.
Under your collarbone,
I miss being with this person.
And finally,
Tap about four inches
below your armpit.
It hurts so much.
Take a deep breath.
You can keep tapping with my 20-minute EFT tapping guided
session that I recorded for my clients and made available for free on Insight Timer.
If you'd like,
Follow my
profile for new recorded and live EFT sessions.
Now that you've reduced your emotional pain,
You can now feel more
grounded and find some peace of mind.
Tip number two is respect your healing rhythm.
It's key to learn what to expect as
you grieve your relationship to more easily embrace the process.
Psychologist Christina Hallett writes that there are
seven stages of a breakup.
Stage one is shock,
The painful disconnection that evokes panic,
Devastation and
confusion.
Asking yourself,
Why did this happen?
Stage two is denial,
Hyper focusing on signs the relationship was going to
continue,
Thinking your partner didn't mean it,
Or will change their mind and rationalizing.
Stage three is bargaining,
Thinking about the what ifs,
Blaming yourself for the slip ups in the relationship,
Attempting to fix the relationship.
Stage
four is anger,
Feeling angry and resentful for different reasons,
Like a cheating partner,
The sudden breakup,
Or not enough
investment in the relationship.
Step five is sadness and grief,
Accepting the reality of the breakup,
Dealing with the loss of
shared future plans,
Friends and family.
Feeling depressed,
Lonely and doubtful.
Stage six is acceptance,
Letting go,
Feeling
resolved,
Yet sometimes revisiting one of the other stages,
Thinking about your own needs and feeling hopeful.
And step seven is
moving on,
Focusing on yourself,
Not constantly thinking about your ex,
Feeling okay with being alone,
Gaining wisdom from the
relationship,
And preparing to love again.
Each person experiences these stages at a different rhythm.
You may move through stages in
another order and revisit certain ones.
There's no universal standard when it comes to how long it takes to heal from a breakup,
Though EFT
tapping can dramatically speed up your recovery.
Different factors include the length of the relationship,
How invested you were,
If
you expected the breakup,
If you have depression,
The level of support you have,
Your sense of self worth.
In my EFT sessions,
I've
learned that breakup grief often reveals childhood wounds of abandonment and rejection.
If we're willing,
We can gracefully receive the gift of
this opportunity to learn to validate ourselves and live in the present.
And lastly,
Tip number three,
Reclaim yourself.
Despite the itch to
contact your ex or peek at their social media,
It's much wiser to give yourself adequate space to heal.
Many people who experienced
breakups believe the relationship was their last chance at love,
Or there will be no one like their ex again.
You can use EFT tapping here as
well to clear these limiting beliefs.
You might beat yourself up about ignoring the red flags in your relationship.
We feel like we should have
known better and we can't trust ourselves.
Tap on regrets to forgive yourself and return to your inner wisdom.
Then reflect on what you've
learned about yourself from the relationship.
Do you need to reevaluate your boundaries?
What would you like in a future partner?
How can you be
more present for yourself?
One of my clients used to live near a beach where she and her ex shared many good and bad moments.
My client asked her
dearest friends to help her create new fun memories there during a weekend getaway to imbue the space with joy.
What a delightful way to heal.
Sometimes we believe that our partner completes us.
We may feel like we can't move on without them,
Even if we know that it was right to end the
relationship.
Yet this approach to relationships disempowers us.
One way to help establish who you are outside of the relationship is to
contemplate the qualities that you appreciate about your ex.
Realize that these qualities can be found within you to find ways to develop them.
Now
is your chance to nurture yourself,
Set new intentions and connect with others more deeply.
In conclusion,
To heal from a breakup,
Be gentle with
yourself.
Love is risky.
It takes tremendous courage to love.
We're so vulnerable when we love and yet life calls us to love anyway.
Honoring
ourselves during a breakup certainly isn't easy.
The loss of relationship invites us to be gentler with ourselves.
As we embrace our emotions,
Respect our healing rhythm and reclaim who we are.
We learn how to connect with ourselves in the way we've always yearned for.
This increases our
capacity to love and connect with others as well.
One of life's most painful experiences is indeed an opportunity for deep inner growth.
Thank you so much for
joining me in this episode of Hash Your Mind.
If you enjoyed it,
Please feel free to write a review,
Visit my profile and follow me to get
notifications about new content and live group tapping sessions.
If you have any questions,
Comments or suggestions,
Just send me a DM.
I'd love to hear
from you.
May you have the courage to love and accept yourself.
Be well and take care.
