Welcome in this meditation.
Today you will bring some awareness to your difficulties that you might experience at the moment.
Difficult feelings.
So we will shine light on these difficulties.
And that might sound a bit strange because it is quite scary to go towards difficult feelings and emotions.
Sometimes we think that if we pay attention to it,
That it will explode or you will really get caught by it or disappear into the difficulty.
So it is quite a human response to difficulties,
To get rid of it or to cover it up.
But the beauty is that the only way of really letting the difficulties dissolve is to go towards it and to shine light on it.
So let's just explore in this meditation how we can be with our difficult emotions.
So maybe we can start with a few deep inhalations and exhalations.
So breathe in deeply and let go with the sigh.
And again,
Breathe in.
And breathe out.
And one more time and then you hold the breath for a moment.
Feel the fullness in your body.
Relax the jaw,
Shoulders and let go.
So you might notice that when you exhale there is a sense of letting go,
Of sinking into the cushion or the floor that you are sitting upon.
It is really arriving here.
So you might want to shift a little bit to sit even more comfortably.
With your spine as straight as possible,
Your chin a little bit tucked in and your jaw relaxed.
So first of all you try to be present to whatever is alive inside of you.
You allow yourself to just sit here and be with whatever is present.
You don't need to change anything.
And then you describe the difficult feeling that you experience at the moment.
You don't use words like I am but I feel like.
So you describe your feeling in emotional terms like I feel scared or I feel depressed or I feel lonely,
Not good enough,
A weakling,
A failure.
Just truly examine yourself and describe this feeling in emotional terms.
And probably you also experience a reaction on your feeling,
A response,
Maybe a feeling of resistance.
Such as I don't want to feel like this,
As a grown up person I shouldn't feel like this or I dealt with it already for so long,
Why is it still here?
I don't want to feel it,
I am sick and tired of feeling this.
I am scared to death.
It is crazy that I feel like this,
Something like that.
So you also acknowledge the response you have towards this feeling.
So you try to acknowledge both the difficult feeling and the resistance you have towards this feeling.
So don't add another judgement,
Just shine the light on your feelings exactly as it is like right now.
Now we move even closer towards this feeling.
So you try to describe your difficult feeling,
Your difficult emotion in physical terms.
So what does your body feel like at the moment?
How does this difficult feeling manifest in your body and where does it manifest?
Most of the time somewhere between the lower belly and your chin.
Describe how it feels,
So it might feel cramped or cold,
Dark,
There is a hole,
Pressure,
Squeezing feeling.
Just find the location in your body,
Maybe it is somewhere in your diaphragm pressing or your throat squeezing,
Cramps in your belly.
Try not to add judgement,
Just be aware of it with a friendly,
Gentle care.
And you try to give space to this feeling,
So really allowing the feeling to be there in your body,
So the bodily sensation.
So just examine also if you are not doing this meditation to get rid of the feeling.
It is very tempting to use this meditation to get rid of this nasty feeling,
To cover it up.
So actually there are some meditations that guide you to a state of pleasantness,
To take you away from difficulties.
But this is not the way we meditate,
Here we just want to be truthful and we just are aware of whatever is present.
And the challenge is to allow yourself to be with whatever arises.
So sometimes it is helpful to say a few sentences inside of yourself like it is ok,
I am allowed to feel this,
Or just leave me for a moment.
Something like that is helpful to give a little bit of space around the feeling.
So the more you allow the feeling to be there without controlling it,
The more space around it will arise and it might feel as a relief.
Maybe you can also sense this at the moment.
So this feeling in your body,
Whatever it feels like,
Is allowing it to be there.
It is truly allowing it to be there.
And now we are going to expand the practice a little bit.
So you are aware of this feeling in your body,
The bodily sensation.
But there is also awareness of the room that you are sitting in,
The sounds that are present.
The feeling of the air on your skin,
The temperature.
So there is this feeling in your body and there are loads of other vibrations and experiences at the same time.
And you hold all these different sensations and vibrations in awareness.
Without resisting anything.
And if you feel that you get contracted again in this bodily sensation of your emotion,
You broaden the awareness.
So there is this squeeze in my throat and there is also a room that I am sitting in,
Sounds that I hear on the street or from the birds,
Things that I smell.
This feeling in my body is one of the many sensations and vibrations in awareness.
And then you let go and just sit for a moment in open awareness.
And then during the rest of your day,
When the feeling just arises again or contracts you,
Just for a few breaths only,
Just explore what do I feel,
What is my emotion,
What are the bodily sensations of this emotion,
Where do I feel it in my body,
What does it look like.
Allowing you to be there.
And then broaden your awareness.
Just one or two minutes during the day you can work with this.
So in a sort of gentle way you take this difficult feeling with you.
And then you let go.
.
