Invitation To The VIP Life With Joe Swinger

Joe is the Founder and CEO of Silver Linings Network, an organization for midlife adults (> 40) who aspire to make the second half of their life the best half by living what Joe calls the VIP Life of Vibrancy, Impact and Purpose. He is a personal and executive coach who leads others from his own discoveries about pain, loss, and abuse, and engages his experiences and hard-won resiliency to position others toward freedom and success, in their personal and professional relationships.

Transcript

Welcome to the Everyday Mindfulness Show where we educate and inspire people to live fuller lives through mindful practices.

Let's get started with your host,

New York Times contributor,

Leadership advisor,

Sought after keynote speaker,

The author of the Amazon hot new release,

Everyday Mindfulness from chaos to calm in a crazy world,

She's smart,

Strong,

Sassy,

And a trendsetter in the field of mindful leadership.

Your host,

Holly Duckworth.

Welcome to another episode of the Everyday Mindfulness Show where we capture stories of people who are living mindfully in these transformative times.

I'm very delighted to introduce you to a special friend who's coming at us live today from Albuquerque,

New Mexico.

He is a Jack Canfield success principles trainer,

Author of Awaken the Magic within the Seven Essential Virtuals for Incredible Success.

Joe Swinger is the founder and CEO of the Silver Linings Network and he is absolutely committed to helping midlife adults make the second half of their life the most impactful,

The most vibrant,

The most time of possibility so you are living a life of vibrancy.

Joe,

I'm so grateful to call you a friend and I'm so thankful for your yes to coming on the show to share your wisdom and insights with us.

Thank you for saying yes.

Holly,

Thank you for having me.

That was a beautiful introduction.

I appreciate it.

So we're going to take a really fun conversation today in 2020,

This year of transformation.

I really love your book title.

It's Awaken the Magic Within and you talk about it as an invitation and this is a funny year.

My name is Holly.

People used to call me Holly Hallmark.

My first job ever was at a Hallmark store.

Remember those days,

Joe,

When we got an invitation to a birthday party or an anniversary?

Life sometimes gives us invitations to change and I think this pandemic for some people is going to be an invitation to change.

Why did you pick that word as a part of your title to the book?

Well,

You're absolutely right.

Life is all about invitations and I like what you said about the invitations to the events,

But the invitation I wrote about was a transformative invitation and we get them in life in two ways.

One of them I call,

You get a brick over the head through a traumatic event,

Either a divorce or a death in the family or something major like that,

A parent dies.

And then another invitation could be an inner whisper where you wake up one day in a relationship or a dead end job and you ask yourself,

You know,

What the heck am I doing?

And I have to change.

And it's amazing how we can wake up day after day after day.

And then one day we look at the world differently.

And when you look at the world differently,

Your perception of it changes.

And so that's what I wanted it to be,

Awaken the Magic was all about waking up magic inside that we all have,

Even the people that think they don't have any,

Even the worst individual who thinks they're worthless has magic inside that can,

It's lying dormant and it's waiting for that catalyst to awaken it.

You were talking about an invitation is anything in life that makes us change.

And,

You know,

For many of your community,

They've reached a milestone birthday.

And you know,

Our world often when we hit certain numbers,

We have beliefs and thoughts about that.

Tell us a little bit about what is silver linings and how do you define that and how can we interact in that community?

Well silver linings,

Typically I look at people over 40 years old,

What I call the second half of life.

Oh no,

That means I qualify Joe,

What does this mean?

I thought this was for like old people.

Well if it was 50,

Then there'd be living to 100,

Not many of us make that.

And so it's all about taking,

You know,

The pain,

The suffering,

The failures and disappointments of the first half and using that wisdom,

What you call the wisdom keepers,

In the second half to make it the best half.

To some people,

They get a second or third relationship.

They quit their corporate job and then they want to,

They really want to start on their purpose.

They,

You know,

Many people don't even know what they want to do.

But if you're retiring in the late 50s or early 60s,

As many people are,

You still have 20 good years left to make a,

You know,

Make an impact,

Live with purpose and live with vibrancy because who wants to be retired and wake up in the morning and not really know what they're going to do that day.

You know,

This 2020 experience is,

I think had a lot of us,

Some of us thinking about life is Groundhog's Day.

In fact,

I even caught myself,

I was talking to my mom the other day,

She goes,

How are you doing?

Well,

I get up,

I walk across the hall to my office,

I work,

I go down,

I have lunch,

I work the afternoon,

I have dinner,

I go to sleep.

Like I'm,

It's like we're on,

You know,

Double digit weeks of this experience.

I'd be curious,

I'm sure some of our listeners are in that same place of,

You know,

How do we find vibrancy?

You have,

You know,

This VIP life,

Vibrancy.

How can we,

We create vibrancy even in this,

This time of dare I say Groundhog's Day?

I think that you are one of the experts,

Right?

With the mindfulness,

If we can get centered,

Even for a few minutes,

That's a start.

And what I like is that the silver linings,

So we're speaking about the COVID,

This is a great time to find silver linings in this,

You know,

Traumatic event we have.

Many people have lost jobs,

Or they've been furloughed,

And it's like many of these people were in jobs that they hated,

That they were probably trying to get out,

But fear and doubt are keeping them back,

Or the how,

You know,

How am I going to quit and do my own thing?

Or they're in a relationship that is comfortable because they need the money,

Or,

You know,

They're 55 years old and don't think they're going to find anybody.

It's basically that fear and that holds us back.

And to live with vibrancy,

I think it starts with the morning.

Successful people start in the morning,

Whether you're meditating or journaling or mindfulness,

Or you're walking or you're doing a workout,

You have to start the day with an intention that you are going to make it the best day,

Or your masterpiece,

As some people like to say.

You know,

Make it your masterpiece that we were born with a purpose for a purpose,

And that's what we're here for,

To live with vibrancy.

And so if we're carrying baggage,

If we're carrying resentment,

Those kind of things are just going to weigh on you,

And you can't be vibrant.

I saw a sunset yesterday and I posted about it.

It was one of my mindfulness minutes.

I was just one with the sunset.

All the trauma going on in society right now never even impacted me in that moment.

I was with the sunset.

And I think we start with those little things,

And then we start building habits,

Rituals,

Good morning rituals,

Maybe when we're going to bed,

I like to talk about the mirror test.

You know,

You talk in the mirror about,

Hey,

What do you know,

Great day today,

Maybe we didn't get this accomplished,

But we got some great things going.

And self love,

You know,

Holly,

So many people just don't love themselves.

I used to beat myself up all the time.

I was pretty good at it.

And you just have to start with what you can control,

100% responsibility.

You could be a victim or you could be a role model.

And if you're playing the victim,

You don't need a COVID-19.

You don't need all the other distractions in our life.

You're going to be a victim on a perfectly sunny day.

Often in the show,

We talk about powerful questions,

That one way to tap into our mindfulness is a question.

And as I listen to your story,

I have this question of,

You know,

Where is the silver lining invitation?

And that can be a question that you can use at any chapter of your life or any time,

But asking your wisdom within yourself,

Again,

At any age,

Where's the silver lining invitation?

So I'm curious,

Joe,

On your website,

It says,

Once homeless,

Joe has risen as a leader in multiple Fortune 500 companies in which he's developed hundreds of successful business leaders while at the same time achieving extraordinary results as a pioneer in authentic servant leadership movement.

What was your aha moment?

What was your invitation that started you on this powerful quest to create and build and grow the Silver Linings Network?

Well,

It started a number of years ago when I was known as the manager from hell.

So I got great results with a major company I was with.

And everything was going well until they came out with employee surveys.

And they took a survey that year.

And I did not do too well.

In fact,

I found out that everyone at the place hated me.

And so,

You know,

Of course,

I got a little prompting by HR that said,

I'm going to have to turn around or,

You know,

Look for other employment.

And so I was in I was taking care of a store in Grand Junction sitting in a hotel and asking myself,

How am I going to transform?

And so we talk about the invitation that that was my invitation that said,

I can't be this guy anymore who just beat people up.

I managed by fear and intimidation.

And so I decided that day,

In that hotel room,

I was going to go to the job as a motivational speaker.

I had no idea what a motivational speaker did.

This was probably,

You know,

At least 13 years ago now,

Maybe.

And what I was determined that the next day I went to work,

I was going to be an inspirational person and build everyone up.

And that's what started me on the path.

And then I looked at 100 attributes and tried to pick seven that I thought would impact my character and raise me to a level that above reproach as a leader.

And those are the seven that I wrote about in Awaken the Magic.

I feel if any leader can live those seven virtues,

They can be a great leader because you have the foundation of being a great person.

And so then I just went to,

You know,

It was all about the people.

How can I inspire them?

I promoted over 100 people.

I promoted people into leaving the company to go back to school,

To start their own business.

I didn't care if I had turnover,

As long as it was the right thing for the person.

So that was really how one moment that I could have lived in fear of being terminated.

But the silver lining was it gave me an opportunity to change,

Which led me on the road to who I am today and living an authentic life.

So Jill,

We won't have time to go down all seven,

But I'm curious,

What was the most challenging of the seven for you when you were curating this list of seven and you're looking at 100 and you're down to 25 and then you're down to 15?

What was the one that was the most,

I call it scratchy,

Like the hardest,

Like you knew it had to be in the list,

But it was like the hardest one for you?

Well they were all pretty hard.

But let's use the virtue of love because the reason I'm using the web in this regard is because,

And tolerance can be part of it too,

Because on the job,

There's just people I didn't like.

There were people that were abrasive,

That come in late,

They were lazy on the job,

They talk about other people,

They just give you pushback.

And so as a leader,

And I probably wasn't very good at that time,

You still have to manage them and get them productive.

But the being of love,

What it is,

And I use the analogy of a rose,

You know the rose has thorns and it's difficult to grow and cultivate,

But it's such a beautiful flower.

It's a beautiful fragrance.

It's so delicate,

You know,

You hold it in your hand.

And that's the way our associates are,

Or our loved ones.

You know,

Sometimes they rub us the wrong way,

But we have to look at their beauty and that's got to be what's important because a rose just doesn't become a rose.

It gets cultivated,

And it's pretty high maintenance if you know anything about,

You know,

That kind of gardening or whatever.

And it's like an associate.

How do you take a bad associate and turn them into a rock star leader?

And that's what I became known for.

I would take people who never once thought they could be a manager and I would turn them into great leaders.

And so that's probably what's the one that really was difficult,

But I turned around.

Well,

It's so interesting.

We talk about mindfulness as the practice of being present in the moment with non-judgment and really coming at that,

You know,

Letting go of that disgust or fear or frustration about a person and returning to love.

I love that analogy of the rose because we do use that rose as such a symbol for love.

And yet the way you unpack it,

There's so much more there in the mindful practice of being present with your team and getting to a place where you can love them in spite of the thorns.

That's a great leadership strategy.

So on the flip side,

Joe,

Of the seven,

What was the easiest?

What was the most fun?

You're like most excited to share virtue.

I think perseverance.

I like perseverance.

It's the last thing because purpose is the first because purpose is the engine that drives everything,

The passion.

Although that's,

You know,

I was pretty good in that too,

But perseverance is the rudder in the water that keeps you going and you cannot give up no matter,

You know,

People will stay on a job for 20 years to get promoted,

But they'll try to do a side business or they'll try to write a book and they'll give up in three months.

Why do people give up on themselves,

But they'll work at a company for 20 years.

And I want to say about the purpose.

Most people don't have a purpose,

But a 50 cent mousetrap has a purpose.

Will you agree?

Absolutely.

And so if you want to get up in the morning with passion and confidence,

And these are all coming from purpose,

And I don't mean like a big giant,

What is your purpose on life?

What's going to be your purpose that day,

That week,

That year?

You know,

We're in 2020 and instead of living in fear,

It's time to double down.

You know,

How are you going to make these last six and a half months,

You know,

The greatest of your life.

And that comes from purpose and perseverance and all the other ones.

So what are you double down?

Hang on,

Joe.

What's your double down?

What magic within you are you going to invite the world to be a part of?

Well that's what the silver linings is.

So I think he asked me about that earlier.

The silver linings has been a passion of mine in a nebulous state for a number of years.

And anyone over 50 probably knows AARP.

It's an organization for people over 50.

It's a lobbyist organization,

Which I kiddingly say to take you from where you are to the grave.

It's going to help you avoid scams.

It's going to show you insurance.

It's going to show you finance.

It's going to show you just like,

I don't know,

Boring stuff that's necessary.

The silver linings is a compliment that I'm going to take that same age group,

Although over 40,

And I'm going to show them how to live the VIP life,

You know,

How to get vibrancy into your life at 65.

How to quit your job and get out of corporate jail and start living with purpose and impacting people with a book or speech or volunteering.

And so this organization,

My vision,

AARP has about 36 million members.

I want to approach that.

I want to have an organization that we're going to give discounts on mindfulness seminars and workshops and coaching and anything that we can.

And so in Albuquerque here and in most cities,

They got the 20 to watch under 20,

Right?

And the 30 under 30 to watch.

You know,

After I hit my 50s and 60s,

It kind of started rubbing me.

And so I'm going to have the silver linings award where we're going to award the top 20 to watch over 40,

The 20 to watch over 50,

The 20 to watch over 60.

You know,

People that are doing great things in the second half of life that are second careers and that we could showcase these people that have such great voices,

The impact they're making and have a lot of fun with it.

So how does one get information on becoming a part of the network?

Well,

Right now I have a private Facebook group.

It's at Facebook.

Com slash groups slash the silver lining,

Silver linings network.

And you can just apply to be a member and we'll go ahead and accept you.

And I'm doing trainings in there and Facebook lives.

I just started something called the VIP talks,

Which is are people over 40 talking on vibrancy,

Impact and purpose.

It's going to be a speaker series and I'm going to do VIP interviews in the group.

And it just basically getting people the information.

You know,

I have three college degrees and I investigated social security and I didn't know what was going on.

And so how do people even know what to do with social security at 62 or 66 or 70?

Those are the kinds of things I want to do trainings on and things like that.

Well,

Joe,

I love,

I love the power of a question.

You know,

We,

We have that question,

You know,

What,

What,

Where's the silver lining invitation in this?

And so I'm so excited that we can invite the listeners of the everyday mindfulness show to be a part of the silver linings network.

But I also know that you are jumping on a plane this week and you're heading out to do some consulting and coaching and you are still out there speaking.

What's the best way people could access your professional consultant services?

I would just go to joe Swinger.

Com.

You could reach me there,

Reach out to me and that's probably the best way or in the,

You know,

The silver linings network.

And so that's,

That's probably the best way right now.

And if the,

If your listeners want to speak,

I'm doing 10 minutes slots.

They can just reach out to me and say,

Hey,

They're a speaker or they have a topic they want to speak on and we'll be more happy to help,

Help them.

The VIP talks,

I am going to roll that out on a bigger scale.

Once we can meet in person.

I want it to be a compliment to the TED talks,

But these are going to be people over 40 speaking on vibrancy,

Impact and purpose.

And again,

I think it's a great way for people to have impact.

60,

70s and 80s.

I don't care what age.

Somebody at one,

Somebody asked me what's too old.

And I said,

There's no way it's too old.

Well,

Joe,

I love your,

Your own invitation to me that I'm going to,

I'm going to get to step into,

But this is the second half of,

Of my career.

You know,

Every time you do a show like this,

I get to learn something new and grow it and be challenged.

And that's what we're so proud of here at the everyday mindfulness show is it's the practice of being present with ourselves in the moment,

Letting go of,

You know,

What definition I might've had of that word invitation to step into a new experience in a growing community.

So we talked about two of the wake and the magic within concepts.

If people want to get the book,

What's the best way to get the book.

Amazon.

Com has it.

And that's probably the best place right now is to get it there.

And you know,

I have in the works,

A children's book and another Silver Lanes adult book.

And I would love to really engage with your listeners.

Well,

As we were talking,

You were talking about how important it is,

Even in this,

This time of transformation of,

You know,

Election years and,

You know,

Health challenges and COVID and everything flying around that it's really important that we embrace the ability to actualize our life and actualize our purpose.

And it's so inspiring to see you out there doing the work,

Writing the work,

Sharing on the podcast.

You gave me the opportunity to be on your show.

So we're going to make sure to post that in the show notes as well so that we can continue to exchange this great information about how we can be on vibrant intention and purpose in the second half of our life.

So thanks for saying yes to be on the show.

Hey Holly,

It was great.

And I really love the work you do.

You're having such an impact on people and I look forward to more.

Thank you for having me.

You're so welcome.

Remember mindful matters and so do you.

We'll see you on another episode.

Thank you for joining us for today's show.

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