Resolve Inner Conflict – An IFS-Inspired Meditation

This gentle guided meditation supports you in moments of inner conflict—when different parts of you are pulling in opposite directions.

Inspired by the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach, this practice invites you to meet those inner parts with compassion, curiosity, and care. Instead of trying to silence them, we listen. We learn. And we begin to soften the tension from within.

Perfect for when you're feeling stuck, emotionally torn, or unsure of your next step. This meditation offers a peaceful space to reconnect with your inner wisdom and find clarity through self-understanding.

Part of The Meditation Apothecary series—monthly meditations created as soul remedies for real-life struggles.
No experience with IFS is needed—just bring your breath, an open heart, and the willingness to meet yourself.

Transcript

Hello beautiful one and welcome to this meditation.

Today we're going to be looking at resolving inner conflict.

Now we're going to be working with a therapeutic model called Internal Family System,

Sometimes shortened to IFS.

And before we go into that,

I just wanted to give you a little overview of what is this system and how does it view our internal world or our psyche,

Our internal self.

Well the main basics are that at the centre of us there is this core self.

And this core self is compassionate and wise and understanding.

And this kind of relates to that kind of Buddha self idea that we see from the teachings of the Buddha.

But it's this idea that at the very heart of us there is this wise,

Compassionate part,

Or core self.

And then around that we have different parts of self.

And these different parts of self developed over time to protect us,

To firefight when we are in pain or turmoil.

And we also have these other parts that we've exiled at some point.

And these parts of us have the best of intentions.

They really are doing everything they can to look after us.

But sometimes they're not getting it right.

They are making it worse.

So for example,

Sometimes the firefighters come in and say,

You're in pain,

You're suffering,

We need to stop this.

So it's that little voice that's like,

Just go get the pack of biscuits,

Have that other glass of wine.

You know,

Numb yourself out with those things.

Stay on your phone a little bit longer,

Continue to scroll.

Now logically,

We know those things are not in our best interest long term.

But this part of us is really just trying to ease our suffering.

Then we also have,

As I mentioned,

These protector parts.

And sometimes,

You know,

These are developed through,

Again,

Things that we've experienced and they come in because they're trying to keep us safe.

So it might be a part of you that's like,

Oh,

Don't do that thing.

That thing's too scary.

That thing's not safe.

That thing's not secure.

And you find yourself turning away from opportunities that will allow you to grow.

Or perhaps it shows up with you in a particular area of your life.

Perhaps it's in relationship.

Perhaps you push people away when they get too close.

Or you find yourself too scared to hold on to money.

And so you just spend it,

Spend it,

Spend it,

Spend it,

Because they're protecting you from some belief you took on at some point that told you that having money was bad or wrong.

So as you can start to see these,

These parts can be quite complex.

There can be lots of them.

And so this meditation may be one that you have to come back to in many different points.

And so I would invite you as we go through this to hold that in your awareness that this isn't a quick fix,

Right?

This isn't a,

It might be a quick fix for how you're feeling now.

But longer term,

These are parts of us that we need to get to know,

That we need to get to understand,

That we get to talk to with compassion,

With understanding,

And bring them into the light.

And when we bring those kind of shadow parts into the light,

In compassion,

In understanding,

Then we are more able to work with them as opposed to this kind of fight that we can often find ourselves in.

So I invite yourself to get comfy,

Get cozy,

Get a little nest ready,

Whatever,

Whatever you need to get the most from this.

And as you do that,

I'm going to cleanse our space and light a candle to signify the beginning of our meditation together.

And as I'm doing that,

Maybe take a moment to close your eyes and consider what's your intention for this meditation.

What are the parts that you want to reconcile with?

And perhaps you don't know yet,

Perhaps there's just a behavior you keep playing out,

Or a thought pattern that keeps you stuck.

Whatever it is for you,

Trust your intuition.

And trust that you will find the answers as we go through this together.

So our candle is lit.

And as and when you're ready,

I invite you to gently close your eyes if you haven't already.

And bring your awareness to that breath in the belly,

Noticing that subtle rise and fall that happens automatically.

And just allow this breath to anchor you back into the present moment.

Letting go of anything that you need to do later on.

Letting go of anywhere that you've just been.

And coming back to here.

This moment in your body.

This breath.

Now if your mind is feeling particularly turbulent today,

You may find it helpful to count the breath.

So counting one on the inhale,

Two on the exhale,

Three on the inhale,

Four on the exhale.

And continuing at your own pace,

Up to ten before starting again at one.

And if at any point you find yourself being pulled into thought or getting distracted by the body,

Know that's perfectly okay.

And when you notice,

Just bring that attention back to counting the breath.

That's all you need to focus on.

Just you in the breath,

Here in this moment.

And let's take a moment to check in with the body now.

Quick body scan.

As we scan through,

Noticing if there's anywhere where you can soften,

Relax.

Maybe softening across the brow,

Around the eyes.

Loosening the jaw.

Allowing those shoulders to just melt away from the ears.

Softening the belly.

Letting go of any tightness in the hips.

And is there anywhere in the body that needs a little bit of love today?

Anywhere you can just use your intention to send a little bit of healing love.

Maybe a sore shoulder,

A painful knee,

A sore throat,

Or a place where you're experiencing emotional turmoil,

Perhaps in the chest or the heart.

Maybe the tummy.

Allow your intuition to guide you.

And just sending love into that part of you.

And being curious to see,

How does the body respond as you send it love?

As if you were caring for someone else.

Allowing that love to flow where it needs to go.

And we're going to invite that core self to step forward now.

That part of you that is compassionate and wise,

That gives such beautiful advice,

To other people.

That part of you that can see through the stories,

And see things as they really are.

And part of you that doesn't judge,

That accepts,

That welcomes with curiosity and open arms.

Allow that part to take over you now.

Allow this part to be fully embodied.

And notice what it feels like,

What it's like to be in that place.

When you're in this part of you,

This core self,

How does your nervous system feel?

How does your mind feel?

And what about the emotional body?

How does it respond to this core wise self?

And I invite you now to consider what other part of you do you wish to talk to today?

It might be a part that leads you to carry out behaviors that you don't like.

It might be a part of you that you feel is keeping you small or quiet and holding back from saying what you think.

It might be a part of you that reacts in the heat of the moment.

Whatever that part is for you,

Allow that part to step forward now.

And from this place of our core self,

We're gonna start a little conversation.

First of all,

Asking,

What's your name?

And just trust what comes through for you.

Sometimes there's answers,

Sometimes there's not.

Sometimes the answers come through in pictures or words or symbols.

We don't have to understand them straight away.

And next,

We're going to ask this part of us,

How are you trying to help me?

How are you trying to help me?

And allow this part to respond.

And if you don't feel like you've received a response as yet,

Asking this part of you again,

How are you trying to help me?

How are you trying to help me?

And the next question we're asking this part is what are you trying to achieve?

What are you trying to achieve?

And allow it to tell you.

And before we move on to the next question,

Let's take a moment to say thank you.

Thank you to this part of you that is trying to help you in some way,

Even if they're not getting it right.

They've got your interests at heart.

Thank you for all you've been doing for trying to look after me.

Thank you.

Now this is your opportunity to talk back to this part.

If this part of you isn't getting it quite right,

What would you prefer instead?

What would be a happy medium?

Allow the words to come to you and speak to this part directly.

And next I invite you to tell this part how you're going to look after it from now on.

This need is highlighted within you.

How are you going to do your best to meet that need for it?

Now it's not unusual for emotion to come up as we realize how we have treated ourself as that compassion takes over.

So if you feel the need to shed a few tears,

Maybe take in a nice deep breath and let out any emotional residue with a bit of a sigh.

Maybe doing that again.

Nice deep breath in.

Maybe a more audible sigh this time.

And maybe doing that again one last time.

Nice deep breath in.

And releasing that with a bit of a sigh.

And if you can still feel that emotion swirling around your body you may want to just shake it out through your fingers.

And imagine that energy moving from the inside down your arms to the tip of your fingers and being flung out,

Flung away.

And taking a moment to come back to that breath in the belly.

Maybe placing a hand there as you notice that gentle rise and fall.

And allowing your attention to return to this present moment.

And as and when you feel ready slowly opening your eyes,

Coming back into the room and maybe allowing your gaze to gently move around the room and just noticing what in your room is pleasant for you to look at.

And you don't need to know why but we're just resetting that negativity bias we all have by taking a moment to notice what's pleasant.

It doesn't even have to be pretty or beautiful it can just be nice to rest your gaze upon.

Okay lovely so I hope that gave you a little bit of medicine today and if you have any questions on this feel free to reach out otherwise I will see you soon.

Take care.

Reviews

Beautiful meditation . Very helpful . Much love and gratitude !