How the Camel Got His Hump by Rudyard Kipling In the beginning of years,
When the world was so new and all,
And the animals were just beginning to work for man,
There was a camel.
And he lived in the middle of the howling desert because he did not want to work.
And besides,
He was a howler himself.
So he ate sticks and thorns and tamarisks and milkweed and prickles.
Most scruciating idol.
And when anybody spoke to him,
He said,
Humpf.
Just Humpf.
And no more.
Presently,
The horse came to him on a Monday morning with a saddle on his back and a bit in his mouth and said,
Camel,
Oh camel,
Come out and trot like the rest of us.
Humpf,
Said the camel.
And the horse went away and told the man.
Presently,
The dog came to him with a stick in his mouth and said,
Camel,
Oh camel,
Come and fetch and carry like the rest of us.
Humpf,
Said the camel.
And the dog went away and told the man.
Presently,
The ox came to him with the yoke on his neck and said,
Camel,
Oh camel,
Come and plow like the rest of us.
Humpf,
Said the camel.
And the ox went away and told the man.
At the end of the day,
The man called the horse and the dog and the ox together and said,
303,
I'm very sorry for you with the world so new and all,
But that humpf thing in the desert can't work or he would have been here by now,
So I'm going to leave him alone and you must work double time to make up for it.
That made the three very angry with the world so new and all.
And they held a palaver and an endaba and a powwow on the edge of the desert.
And the camel came chewing on milkweed,
Most excruciatingly idle,
And laughed at them.
Then he said,
Humpf,
And went away again.
Presently,
There came along a djinn in charge of all deserts,
Rolling in a cloud of dust.
Djinns always travel that way because it is magic.
And he stopped to palaver and powwow with the three.
Djinn of all deserts,
Said the horse,
Is it right for anyone to be idle with the world so new and all?
Certainly not,
Said the djinn.
Well,
Said the horse,
There's a thing in the middle of your howling desert,
And he's a howler himself,
With a long neck and long legs,
And he hasn't done a stroke of work since Monday morning.
He won't trot.
Phew,
Said the djinn,
Whistling,
That's my camel for all the golden Arabia.
What does he say about it?
He says,
Humpf,
Said the dog,
And he won't fetch and carry.
Does he say anything else?
Only Humpf,
And he won't plow,
Said the ox.
Very good,
Said the djinn,
I'll go to him if you will kindly wait a minute.
The djinn rolled himself up in his dust cloak and took a bearing across the desert and found the camel most excruciatingly idle,
Looking at his own reflection in a pool of water.
My long and bubbling friend,
Said the djinn,
What's this I hear of you doing no work with the world so new and all?
Humpf,
Said the camel.
The djinn sat down with his chin in his hand and began to think a great magic while the camel looked at his own reflection in the pool of water.
You've given the three extra work ever since Monday morning,
All in account of your excruciatingly idleness,
Said the djinn,
And he went on thinking magics with his chin in his hand.
Humpf,
Said the camel.
I shouldn't say that again if I were you,
Said the djinn.
You might say it one too often.
Bubbles,
I want you to work.
And the camel said humpf again,
But no sooner had he said it than he saw his back that he was so proud of puffing up and puffing up into a great big lolloping humpf.
Do you see that,
Said the djinn?
That's your very own humpf that you've brought upon your very own self by not working.
Today is Thursday and you've done no work since Monday when the work began.
Now you're going to work.
How can I,
Said the camel,
With this humpf on my back?
That's made a purpose,
Said the djinn,
All because you missed those three days.
You will be able to work now for three days without eating because you can live on your humpf.
And don't you ever say I didn't do anything for you.
Come out of the desert and go to the three and behave.
Humpf yourself.
And the camel humpf himself,
Humpf and all,
And went away to join the three.
And from that day to this,
The camel always wears a humpf.
We call it humpf now,
Not to hurt his feelings.
But he has never yet caught up with the three days that he missed at the beginning of the world.
And he has never yet learned how to behave.
The camel's humpf is an ugly lumpf which well you may see at the zoo.
But uglier yet is the humpf we get from having too little to do.
Kitties and grown-ups too.
If we haven't enough to do,
We get the humpf.
Camellious humpf.
The humpf that is black and blue.
We climb out of bed with a frozly head and a snarly,
Yarly voice.
We shiver and scowl and we grunt and we growl at our bath and our boots and our toys.
And there ought to be a corner for me,
And I know there is one for you,
When we get the humpf.
Camellious humpf.
The humpf that is black and blue.
The cure for this ill is not to sit still or frost with a book by the fire.
But to take a large hoe and shovel also and dig till you gently perspire.
And then you will find that the sun and the wind and the jinn in the garden too have lifted the humpf,
The horrible humpf,
The humpf that is black and blue.
I get it as well as you,
If I haven't enough to do.
We all get humpf,
Camellious humpf,
Kitties and grown-ups too.
And that is the end of our story this evening.
Until next time,
Sweet dreams.
