Sitting With The Uncomfortable

How are we to be with ourselves when difficult emotions and situations arrive? This sitting with the uncomfortable meditaiton supports us in exploring difficult emotions as they arise in the body as well as exploring the accompanying thoughts - wisdom arises when we move closer to the uncomfortable rather than instinctively resisting it.

As the wise Pema Chodron says: "We don’t have to attach so much meaning to what arises, and we also don’t have to identify with our emotions so strongly. All we need to do is allow ourselves to experience the energy—and in time it will move through you. It will. But we need to experience the emotion—not think about the emotion." This practice supports us in doing this.

Transcript

Welcome to the sitting with the uncomfortable practice.

And making yourself comfortable sitting in a dignified upright position.

Making sure you're well supported.

And beginning to receive a sense of your body in this moment.

A sense of your body as it sits here breathing.

As best you can being present to whatever arises moment by moment.

And as you're settling in,

Allowing yourself to be fully present to the sensations of breathing.

Knowing that throughout this practice you can return to the breath whenever you wish.

And when you're ready,

Bringing to mind a difficult or troubling feeling or situation from the recent or distant past.

A scenario that holds challenging or even unknown emotion for you.

Perhaps something unresolved.

A misunderstanding,

An argument,

A loss.

A situation where perhaps you felt angry or hurt or some sadness,

Fear,

Loss,

Shame or grief.

Maybe even some anxiety.

And taking time to fully recall the situation.

We can rest and develop our understanding of the situation in between which we want to booklet up on.

We can complete reducing the amount of words or words and téléphone numbers,

And once you're focusing on the troubling situation,

Allowing yourself to take some time to tune into any physical sensations in the body that accompany this scenario.

Seeing if you can find where in your body you're feeling these emotions.

When you observe the emotion that has arisen,

Does your mouth go dry?

Are you breathing shallowly?

Are you clenching your teeth?

Is there a lump in your throat?

Whatever is happening in your body,

Noticing it as best you can.

If you can feel the emotion in the body,

And we can't always do that,

But if you can,

It gives you a concrete way to disengage from the story and observe the emotions changing nature.

So right now,

If it's possible,

Recognizing and naming the emotions that are evoked around this difficulty,

This scenario.

Stop saying,

I know this shame arising.

I know this anger arising.

I know this fear,

Sadness.

Whatever it is,

As best you can,

Labeling the emotion as clearly as you can.

Perhaps noticing there can be several emotions arising at the same time.

And perhaps also noticing any thoughts that accompany these emotions.

And then again,

Becoming mindful of the physical sensations,

Deliberately directing the focus of your attention to the areas of the body where the sensations are strongest,

Being curious about them.

Noticing where exactly the sensations are.

Is there a sense of weight about the sensation?

A sense of heaviness or lightness?

Is it moving or still?

Is the sensation dense or perhaps a bit vague,

A little nebulous?

Is there any pulsing or vibration?

What temperature is it,

If any?

Do you notice the sensation at the surface of the body or inside the body or both?

And as you pay such close attention,

Seeing if the sensations are changing,

However subtly.

And once your attention has settled on the bodily sensations and they are vividly in the field of awareness,

Unpleasant though they may be,

Noticing your relationship to the sensations.

Is there a sense of wanting to get rid of them?

Disappointment about them,

Maybe.

A sense of familiarity or resignation or irritation with them.

Letting yourself know what reaction you're having to the sensations.

And you might try deepening the attitude of acceptance and openness to whatever sensations you're experiencing by saying to yourself from time to time,

It's okay,

Whatever it is,

It's already here.

Let me open to it.

It's okay.

Whatever it is,

It's already here.

Let me open to it.

Accepting them with great care,

Just staying with the awareness of these sensations and your relationship to them.

Breathing with them.

Accepting them,

Allowing them to be just as they are.

Whatever it is,

It's already here.

It's okay.

Let me open to it.

As best you can,

Letting go of the struggle of the resistance to what is already here.

And remembering by saying it's okay,

You're not judging the original situation or saying that it's fine,

But simply helping your awareness in this moment to remain open to the sensations in the body.

Imagining breathing into the sensations in and around them,

Loosening up around them,

Just allowing them to be here.

Remembering even though you may not want or like it,

You're simply making room for it,

Letting it be in this moment and seeing if it changes.

Softening and opening to the sensations you're aware of,

Perhaps letting go of any tensing or contracting or bracing around them.

Perhaps even saying to yourself,

Softening or opening on each out-breath.

And again and again,

Thoughts may begin to rev up your emotions,

Seeing if you can notice this and returning to the body sensations or returning to the breath.

And now taking a moment to refresh your posture,

Allowing yourself to connect with your sit bones,

Allowing the head and the neck to rest freely on the spine,

Reconnecting with the intention to sit in an upright position.

And bringing attention now to thinking,

To the stream of thoughts that are generated by this difficulty you're exploring.

Noticing even how your thinking may have changed slightly,

Just from the process of paying attention to body sensations and feelings.

And over the next few minutes,

Allowing thinking itself to take center stage in your awareness,

Simply recognizing thoughts and bringing attention to them as they arise.

Noticing thoughts as events,

Cognitive events that arise,

Linger and pass through your body,

Pass away.

Perhaps detecting the spaces between thoughts.

Or perhaps noticing the thoughts are a confused and tangled jumble,

Remembering that thoughts can be words or images.

Over the next few minutes,

Noticing the qualities of your thoughts.

If there is,

Is it kind,

Impatient,

Bossy,

Forceful?

Is there an audience for your thoughts?

Are they a monologue,

A dialogue or a crowded discussion perhaps?

Noticing any themes that you may be able to recognize.

It evokes your desire and desire and paddle toward an And noticing where in space you experience your thoughts right now.

Which part of the body do you experience thinking in?

Just paying attention to the ongoing flow of thoughts.

You feel the battle right now at 2x,

For example.

And now,

Bringing your awareness to the sensations of the breath and the body breathing.

And noticing how thoughts and emotions continually arise,

How they change and pass away.

No need to react to them.

Nothing to be done.

Nothing to be undone.

Just observing.

So.

.

.

Noticing the ongoing flow of experience as it arises and passes away.

Noticing the ongoing flow of experience as it arises and passes away.

Noticing the ongoing flow of experience as it passes away.

Noticing the ongoing flow of experience as it passes away.

Noticing the ongoing flow of experience as it passes away.

Noticing the ongoing flow of experience as it passes away.

Noticing the ongoing flow of experience as it passes away.

Noticing the ongoing flow of experience as it passes away.

Reviews

I am finding this is an invaluable practice. Thank you 🙏

Her guiding along is interspersed with wonderful periods of stillness/za zen. She doesn’t spend the meditation talking and talking. Really good!

It was uncomfortable for me to sit with my feelings, but it was insightful and supportive 🙏

this is one of the most important meditations to me on this app. i keep returning to this when times get tough. perfectly balanced amounts of talking and silence and long enough to allow one to really feel! thank you 🙏💫

Great balance of guidance and silence. Gently directing the awareness to be in and with.thank you!

Thank you for giving me a quiet space to sit with my discomfort, instead of talking the entire time. I may revisit this often

This guidance was very helpful for me. The pace and balance of speaking with silence worked for me. I am doing IFS Inner work and have recently met a deeply buried exile. This guidance really helped me to find the calm center of mySelf. This supported my ability to continue reaching out to the distressed part. 🙏 Heather.

A thoughtful and compassionate meditation by a skilled teacher. Opened up a lot for me.

Thank you. Calm, non intrusive guidance. Will listen again

Calming meditation to accept what is, to not attach and give ourselves the space needed to gently move through our feelings.

Beautiful.. helped me be with my physical sensations that I have been trying to resist for such a long time.

This was difficult work for me, but I am so glad I stuck it through to the end. Thank you!

Very helpful container.

Thank you, a profoundly helpful session

I love this so much. It is such an intressting, intense process, i do it almost daily. The last couple of minutes are always very satisfying, open, calm. That makes it so easy to return, even if the difficult parts at the first two thirds of the meditation are ..ouch, and difficult :) . It is alway different. Thank you for sharing.

The only way out is through. I want to run, hide and push these uncomfortable emotions away. This meditation will help me if I can return to it again and again. Seeing and feeling emotions as energy is new for me.

Not easy to do. It is one I will return to. Such intense emotions felt. May I be open to what arises and let go. May I remember My thoughts are not real just energy. May I continue to heal my heart, body and mind. Thank you.

Excellent guidance! Thank you!

Exactly what I needed thank you! Really allowing the anxious feelings does help then dissipate 🙏

Excellent. Thank you.