The Flow

In this episode, Glenn will discuss the importance of being able to actively let go, and go with the flow of life. It is a common occurence for people to want to resist the direction with which life may be taking them, but Glenn invites us to consider refraining from this and feel liberated and free, in doing so. By heading in whichever direction you are naturally pulled, you will find your true passion and purpose, while you will feel less affected by the judgement of others or inclined to act in accordance with anyone's ideas other than your own.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hello everyone.

Welcome to the show.

Today we are going with the flow.

That's what we're talking about,

Going with the flow.

We're going to try to.

Yeah.

Well,

We will.

We'll just go with the flow.

Absolutely.

That's the only thing that you don't have to try to do.

You either do it or you don't.

You just go with it.

I like going with the flow.

Going with the flow is probably the thing that I do best.

Yeah.

I think so.

Would you?

I think you've gotten better and better at it.

Was I not good at it?

You've known me for five years.

Oh my God.

You've known me for five years now.

You've known me for five years.

I think you always went with the flow,

But then you would second guess it or stress out about certain aspects of it,

Which I think you do that less now.

Okay.

So I think like kind of action wise,

Yeah,

You always did go with the flow.

But mentally.

What mentally?

I would be.

I think you've caught up to what you were doing at your actions.

So we talked about contrast.

We did.

I was there.

Contrast is something that can prevent you from going with the flow.

Yes.

Well,

It can help you.

Oh,

It could also help you.

Yeah.

It can help you go with the flow.

See,

I'm thinking negative.

Right.

All right.

Contrast can help you go with the flow because it helps you see what direction you're supposed to be going.

And it kind of directs you.

If you're going in the wrong direction,

Then all of a sudden you can't go that way anymore because of contrast.

It's like,

Oh,

Okay.

Thank you.

So we've also talked a lot about in the past,

We talked about expectations.

Sure.

I feel like expectations are something that really stop you from going with the flow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Having expectations.

You know,

We look at life from such a small perspective.

We have no idea,

You know,

Generally what the best thing for us is and all the different avenues that can take us there and stuff.

We don't know all that.

And we act like we do.

We act like we do.

We set these expectations.

Well,

This is going to happen.

This is going to happen.

This is going to happen.

It's going to happen this way.

Then when it doesn't,

We freak out.

And it's like,

Well,

That wasn't realistic anyway.

And this way is much better.

What about that?

You know?

So yeah,

Going with the and for me going with the flow,

I just think of it as like when I first kind of got this,

I had this vision of myself.

Like sometimes I got kind of pictures,

You know,

In my head that would kind of help me understand things,

I think.

And there was a point years ago that I pictured myself standing in a river with like two trash can lids trying to hold the water back.

I've heard you talk about this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then and it was like I was fighting life,

You know,

And I was fighting the things that were happening to me and I wasn't going with them.

And then I just kind of relaxed and leaned backwards and just floated down the river.

And then all of a sudden,

Once I stopped fighting the current and just floated with it,

I noticed that it was beautiful.

It was like,

Oh,

There was twists and turns in the river and there was these cool things to look at along the way and experience along the way.

And it was actually a pleasant ride.

And I got everything that I wanted anyway,

Instead of trying to force life to do what I wanted it to do,

You know,

Which is really just maybe one of the dumbest things that we could possibly do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pretty much.

What's the joke?

You want to hear God laugh,

Make plans.

Yeah.

So that's why it's it seems like going with the flow,

Right?

The this this idea of being relaxed and letting things come,

Letting things slide off your back,

That type of thing.

It feels like everybody would like to be there.

You know?

Yeah.

I don't see somebody who's like super tense and is like,

I want to be super tense.

Right.

You know,

I'm sure that there are.

Right.

And it's just because we,

You know,

We need to we need to start looking at things differently.

And you know,

The people who are doing it,

I mean,

You know,

Ask.

We just don't live consciously.

We're not,

You know,

We're going around living the way everybody else is living and and just bumping into walls and consciously and not paying attention to what's happening.

And honestly,

We're living our lives by things that don't make any sense whatsoever.

It just it doesn't,

You know,

Because like if we're walking a path and then all of a sudden a couple of things happen that we don't expect and kind of knock us off that path a little bit,

It's like,

Oh,

My God,

Poor me.

I can't believe this is happening and all this stuff.

And that's just a natural reaction to it that people do nowadays.

And but yeah,

So so we so we think that that's how we're supposed to react to it,

Just because kind of everybody's doing it.

We don't stop and look at it and go,

Does it make sense for me to play the victim here?

Does it make sense for me to get all upset and freaked out that a couple of things didn't go the way I expected them to?

Does does it make sense?

And if you look at it,

It doesn't,

You know,

Ask anybody that has reached any level of success in any area of life ever since the beginning of time.

Has everything always gone exactly perfectly the way they wanted it to and the way they thought it should 100 percent of the time?

No,

It's never happened.

Nobody has ever gotten every answer correct that they've ever written down.

Nobody has ever,

You know,

Played a sport and not made a mistake.

Nobody has ever succeeded at business and not had a curveball come to them.

Nobody has ever succeeded in music or film and not been turned down for an audition or something.

It's never happened.

Nobody has ever succeeded without something happening along the way that they didn't expect.

But yeah,

When it happens to us,

We flip out.

Right.

Oh my God,

This poor me,

This shouldn't be happening.

Yeah,

It should be happening.

It's supposed to happen.

It's not only is it supposed to,

But it does every single time.

Always.

Can I admit something to you?

No.

OK,

Yes.

Moving on.

So the I just thought about how I said that I was really good at going with the flow.

And then you just talked about no one has ever been perfect in a in a situation.

No one's ever written down every answer correctly forever,

You know.

And it occurred to me that I play sports video games almost exclusively.

I will not play any other sort of video game.

And I have always had a history of playing on a difficulty level that was beneath what I was capable of.

Yes.

I remember you saying that years ago.

I have told you that so that I could be 100 percent perfect.

You know,

Like if I'm playing Madden,

Right.

I want to set the touchdown record every year for the quarterback,

For a wide receiver,

For the running back.

I want to have the all time yards record for the running back.

I want to go 16 to know.

Like if I'm not doing that,

Why am I like I don't like playing the game.

I want to be perfect in the game.

And I'm starting to think right now that that's a control issue,

You think,

Because I because I because I try to let everything else go.

Yeah.

Is that is that overcompensating for something?

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah.

I mean,

It's you know,

That's how can you stretch yourself as a person?

That's so lame.

You know,

Just making sure that that that's like that's like learning addition and just going,

No,

I'm not learning multiplication.

It's just I'm I'm just going to stick with addition and like because I can eventually get to the same number if I add enough together.

So I'm just going to get really good at that.

I'm just multiplication is just too big of a deal for me.

Yeah.

It's like I don't think that I could do long division right now anymore.

I don't.

I'm confident.

I'm confident in addition and subtraction.

I like to stick with what's easy stretch and nail it down.

No,

But I think that that is in direct correlation with how much I try to let everything else slide,

You know,

But I still have this I still have this like desire to be in control of everything.

Yeah.

So yeah,

So you get it at the game.

You know,

Yeah.

So that's like your safety zone.

I'm in control of this.

So that makes you feel safe.

As long as you feel safe,

Then you're able to let go of other things,

You know.

So I mean,

If you want to look at it,

I mean,

Feeling safe in that area is a hell of a lot more beneficial to you than trying to feel safe in life because more things change in life,

You know.

But I mean,

You know,

If you want to grow as a person a little bit more,

You just have to let go of attachments so you can experiment with that and go,

OK,

I'm going to and then as you let go of needing to be perfect in that area,

Also,

You'll you'll experience a new freedom because then you'll actually have let go as opposed to compensating.

I was listening to a an interview with a comedian who is widely considered one of the best improvisational comedic actors in the world right now.

And he was like,

Yeah,

I can let everything go on stage because improv is 100 percent.

You got to go with the flow.

Right.

You know,

You have to make these choices and you have to accept what other people you have to.

Yes.

And everybody,

You know,

Somebody present you with something you have to accept it and then you have to add to it.

And that's life.

And that is life.

If life will talk about that.

But he he was like an outside of improv,

Outside of being on stage doing that.

I am a control.

I'm a hyper contract.

I'm a control freak.

I freak out about everything.

I call my doctor like once a week.

I have is I have a cell phone number and I text him like,

Hey,

Is this like,

Wow,

I have a weird mole.

Can you look like no matter what?

And he was like,

Yeah,

So I can be completely free in this one area and let it go.

And then I can't let anything else go.

I have to control all of this stuff.

And I just thought that that was a weird contrast,

Not in the way that we were talking about contrast before.

But I thought that that was a weird or maybe it is.

I thought that was a weird like juxtaposition.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's that's it.

You know,

It's a lot of times where,

You know,

Everybody has natural gifts and that sounds like a gift that he has that he's cultivated in one specific area,

Which is cool.

You know,

To cultivate that.

And like whenever I'm working with somebody,

I find it's I find that it's very important to always start with where we're having success,

Because if we look at different areas of our lives,

Sometimes it's relationships,

Sometimes it's just personal,

Sometimes sometimes it's video games,

Sometimes it's work,

Sometimes but sometimes it's comedy,

You know,

Whatever it is,

A lot of times we've we've gotten to a level of comfortability and success in a certain area of our lives.

We'll take that and then work off of it.

You know,

Use that as your model as to what what works and you know what and then and then take say,

OK,

Well,

You know,

I go with the flow with comedy really well.

What he should do is really look at that and come to an understanding of why it's effective and why it works and understand it,

You know,

And then if he understands it and he looks at and says,

OK,

Now,

What would it look like if I applied these same principles to life in other areas of my life?

Well,

It would relax me more and I wouldn't,

You know,

Wouldn't be caught up in the negativity and it would so then so you see what you're doing right.

Then you look at another place to apply it and you see why it would benefit you if you were to apply it there and then you begin to apply it.

You know,

You just take baby steps and start applying it little by little.

And it actually usually when you do stuff like that,

It usually happens a lot quicker than we expect it to.

Every once in a while it can be a little bit tough.

But most times when you take something because usually what we do to make adjustments in our life is is we're like,

OK,

I'm good over here,

So I'll just ignore it.

And then over here,

I'm a mess.

Now I have to try to figure out.

You know what I need to do to adjust it,

How to do it.

And we're not good in that area.

So how the heck do we know we don't,

You know,

So take the areas that we're actually good at,

Take some of the little things that we do that make us good at it and bring it over into an area that we're not so good at,

You know?

And that's what that's what apparently you guys both have to do.

Me and Jason Manzoukas.

Yes,

Very similar.

Well that was a.

So when I started acting in high school,

I was somebody who just I felt like I was I went with the flow with things and then.

And then with acting like you get roles,

Sometimes you don't get roles like you and things happen on stage and you have to go with it,

Have to accept it and go with it.

And I tell that I told this to every student I've ever had.

There was a show I did,

The Odd Couple,

My senior year,

And it was me and this other character and we were playing the two leads,

Felix and Oscar.

And there's about 15 to 16 pages of dialogue.

That's just the two of us on stage together.

Nothing in between.

Wow.

And for two high school kids who only had a couple of weeks to prepare,

It was difficult.

I knew the play forwards and backwards.

My partner did not.

And he messed up and would go from like page 16 to page 32 and then back to page 20.

Yeah.

And on stage in real time,

I had to just listen to him,

Make sure that what I was saying was what he was saying.

It was in response to what he was saying.

Try to lead him back.

If I couldn't lead him,

Just go with it.

Yeah.

And then that show was hard.

It was the first time that they did a summer show.

So nobody like we did it when we came back in September,

Nobody was prepared.

So like there was a lighting cue that happened that the lights just came on and I had to go on stage with like no belt on and my pants fell down because we weren't ready and we just had to go out and like props were not in place and just I had to go with everything completely.

And so I learned like,

Oh,

This is great.

And then I was like,

Let me let me put this into my life.

You know,

Let me just act the way that I acted on stage that that run of shows in life.

Right.

And I found a book a couple of years ago after you got me into reading like all of these different types of books.

I got this book that I thought was just about acting and it wasn't even written for actors.

It was written for everyone else by an improv teacher called Improv Wisdom by Patricia Madison.

And it was about taking these tenants and these maxims of yes.

And you know,

Don't have expectations.

Don't don't have expectations except what's coming to you and then add small bits to it.

So and it was just everything that you had been talking about.

Right.

Don't don't have expectations.

Don't worry about things.

Take things as they come.

Take small steps in the direction that you're trying to go in.

Yeah.

And that's it.

Like that.

Yeah,

That's such a perfect.

That's a perfect example of of of life.

You know,

That's exactly it.

If we take it as it comes and add a little bit to it and go in the direction it's leading us and not have expectations and it's it works out,

You know,

And that's like I always say about how how things work like the stuff that I talk about.

I truly believe that it's how things work.

It's just if you get underneath the surface and the whining and the moaning and the poor me and the victimization and all that stuff and you get underneath it and you just start understanding how life works and how to go with it and how to get what you actually want,

Then all of a sudden things get a lot easier.

And so when whenever I'm teaching this stuff,

I truly believe that if something is kind of like spiritual law,

If that's just how things are,

Then it works in big things and it works in little things and it works in all things.

It either works or it doesn't work.

Period.

So like if I'm talking about something and you go,

Well,

Yeah,

But it doesn't work in this situation.

Well,

Then there's a problem with it.

It should work in all situations.

You know,

If it's a spiritual law,

It should work in all situations.

And you know,

That's a good example of it.

It's like you can see it in in acting.

Well,

Especially improv,

You know,

Because it's well,

That's that's such a specific thing that you have to hone that specific skill and you have to really and you can see exactly how it would work and how it wouldn't work.

It's like,

Okay,

Well,

Let's apply that to life.

What if I did that to life?

Would it work there too?

And all of a sudden you go,

Oh,

Yeah,

Okay.

So that must be spiritual law.

That must be how things works.

If you don't like the word spiritual law,

The words,

Then it's just how things work.

It's just how life is.

And if we start looking at things that make sense and understanding life and how it works realistically instead of just walking around unconsciously going,

You know,

Reacting to things that we like or don't like.

And if we start understanding,

Excuse me,

How it works and then going and then applying it and living life that way,

Then all of a sudden things get better.

And that's why that's why like corporations,

Like corporate level people send their employees to get like improv training or they bring in teachers to do it.

And it's why a lot of directors like to work with people who have an improv background because they're easily,

They're malleable.

Right.

You know,

Because you can make adjustments.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nothing is precious.

Nothing is too precious to not be changed.

Yeah.

And you know,

And that little piece reminds me of one of my favorite like spiritual sayings.

And so I kind of like how,

You know,

This is improv comedy and how it ties into one of the most famous or the most profound spiritual sayings from A Course in Miracles.

Nothing real can be threatened.

Nothing unreal exists.

Therein lies the peace of God.

So like,

You know,

Nothing is too precious.

You don't have to protect anything that's real.

It's fine.

It will continue.

It will go on.

Nothing unreal actually exists.

So you don't have to hold on to it so tightly to try to save it because it's not real anyway.

Yeah.

You know,

And when we start living that way,

Therein lies the peace of God.

So it's not just jumped out at me when you said that.

I was like,

Yes.

What about people that block positivity?

Like people that,

I mean,

We talked a lot about how hard it is to go with the flow when negative things happen.

Right.

But there are a ton of people and everyone at some point when positive things happen and they can't handle it.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

You know?

Yeah,

They're so used to negative things happening and focusing on them.

Right.

I know maybe one of those people who's absent from today who,

You know,

Like as I told you,

We just and speaking of going with the flow,

Like even setting up this recording,

We switched two or three times,

You know,

We're moving.

So you were nice enough to move it around our schedule.

And then something happened today and I'm the only one here,

You know,

With you.

But that's it is what it is.

And we both just kind of went with it.

And it's great.

Right.

You know?

But when we we kind of landed in this nicer place,

Right,

Than we were expecting,

As you saw today.

Yeah.

And as you kind of did living on this beautiful horse farm,

You know,

Like we both kind of it's weird how we have this trajectory of moving up together.

But it's true.

But every time there's that next step,

You know,

Dave gets a little like worried about like why is why are good things happening?

Yeah.

You know,

Like he.

Most people that I know can't handle when bad things happen.

Some people can't handle when good things happen.

How do you stop yourself from blocking the flow?

It's you know,

It's just really a matter of,

Again,

You know,

Looking realistically at life.

It's you know,

Because if you if you look at the negativity in the past.

With without being a victim,

Without you know,

If you look at it and you go,

OK,

Well.

I really I like getting to the core of stuff.

So so you go,

OK,

Well,

Let's say,

You know,

All the bad stuff that happened.

So in the past,

If I were to believe that that's what's supposed to happen and it's all negative and just really kind of swallow that pill,

That negativity is supposed to happen and I'm a victim,

Then what does my what am I saying?

Like that.

So what I'm saying is that there is no there is no loving creator.

We're all there is no point to life.

There is no chance for happiness.

So you know that that's really what you're saying.

So don't dilly dally around.

Follow it all the way down the rabbit hole and try to get to the point of what how you're choosing to live.

So if you want to walk around believing and living like there is no creator and there is no chance for happiness and you know,

We're going to get hit with asteroids in life randomly and there is no hope for any of us.

If you want to live like that,

That's fine.

You can,

But entertain the possibility to the other side and then go,

Well,

What if there was a loving creator and what if there was things,

You know,

This was all in my my best interest and what if this was leading me towards does that make sense?

See if you can make sense of it from the perspective of a loving creator and then if you can,

Then you can choose to live that way if you want.

But you that's what it is,

Is it's following the thoughts.

See we stay stuck and we stay in kind of crappy mindsets when we don't follow things all the way through to their core.

When we kind of stay in the surface and go,

No,

I'm a victim.

I'm a victim.

It's poor me.

You go,

Well,

So what you're saying is there's no God and there's no chance for you ever to have happiness.

Well,

No,

I'm not saying that I just and we just stay there and there's no like no follow it all the way down.

You're saying that there is no there is no chaos theory.

There is no reason to absolutely anything.

Whatever.

Do you truly believe that?

And most people when you really take it down there,

They're like,

Well,

No,

I don't truly believe that.

Okay,

So you don't truly believe that.

Now let's go to the other side.

You know,

What if can I can we explain all this stuff from a different perspective,

From a loving perspective that maybe something that knows more than you do wants the best for you and is trying to lead you there?

What if you looked at things like that and then all of a sudden you see it works out.

Like,

Oh,

Okay.

Then you can choose to live differently.

And maybe you can let go of those trash can lids,

Right?

And then just go with it and go,

Oh,

There is something directing this river that's smarter than I am.

And when you go with the flow,

Sometimes that river is going to take bad turns.

Yeah.

But it's the it's the knowing that it's going where it's supposed to go and that you're safe and you are loved all the way along the journey.

You know,

We're not supposed to take life so seriously.

It's supposed to be like watching a movie.

I think that that's the best analogy.

When you go to a movie and you see action and drama and romance and horror and,

You know,

All these different twists and turns on the screen,

You get caught up in it and it's exciting and it's entertaining.

That's what life is supposed to be like.

But when it happens,

So we're supposed to be sitting in a place of safety,

Experiencing all this stuff and it's supposed to be an adventure and it's supposed to be entertaining.

But instead,

When it happens to our lives,

We forget that we're safe and we forget that we're loved and everything that happens,

We internalize like it's dangerous.

You know,

We're eternal beings.

We're fine.

We're just here for a little while experiencing a bunch of stuff and it's supposed to be fun.

And if you take a step back from it and don't take it so seriously and go,

Oh,

Well,

You know what,

I got scared.

Yeah,

Well,

That's going to happen.

Okay,

So how can I find some comfort?

You know,

Maybe romance will be next.

That'll be fun,

You know,

And just go down the river and see what's next.

And you know,

You'll experience all of that and it'll be fun.

And then you'll be on the other side and you can talk about your adventures.

Well thank you because you've definitely helped me go with the flow a little bit better than I used to.

Yeah,

And you know,

And there's times where we're going to do better at it than others.

And if people want the same help that I got from you for going with the flow.

Yeah,

Find me at Glenn with two N's,

Glennambrose.

Com.

And you know what I did though,

I got Glenn with one N,

Glennambrose.

Com and I pointed it to the same website anyway.

So I guess I don't have to make that big of a point.

That's smart.

But yeah,

So go to glennambrose.

Com and you can reach me by phone or email there.

And you do Skype sessions and everything else.

Yeah,

We can work no matter where you are in the world.

I do Skype and there's another one that I started doing,

Zoom.

Nice.

Zoom,

Phone,

All that stuff.

And then if you want to join and be a part of the conversation,

Like our page on Facebook,

Life Lessons in Laughter.

And there's also a group on Facebook that we're trying out.

If you guys want to talk to each other,

Talk to Glenn,

Ask questions,

See who else is dealing with the same stuff that you might be.

Fun,

Fun,

Fun.

That's there if you want to use it.

If not,

That's okay.

But you know,

We just thought that we would try that out.

So thanks for listening,

Everybody.

And we'll talk to you soon.

Reviews

Excellent as usual, thank you gentlemen 💜x

Especially loved hearing Ben share about his first play and improvising with the guy who wasn't on point. That's totally how life is haha. It's not always tiptoeing through the tulips with birds dancing around my head haha.

Another great conversation to offer clarity! Thanks!

Wonderful chat, enjoyed so much listening!! Such great advice! Thank you!!🙏🏽

What a wonderfully useful conversation. It came 'right on time'!

Thanks Glenn for my weekly dose of evaluating life. I am so thankful for your time and insight. Are you still in RI or in Florida? I am a native of West Brookfield MA. Just east of Sturbridge.