Picking Sides - L,L,&L W/ Glenn Ambrose

We can pick sides in a healthy way but unfortunately sides are often picked that turn the other side into an enemy. This has caused many of the worlds problems and prevents us from solving problems. It happens in the macrocosm as well as the microcosm.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello,

My friends.

Hello.

So,

Today we are talking about picking sides,

Which is,

You know,

I think becoming increasingly important,

Increasingly common.

You know,

We're at a place in human history where we're very divided,

Right?

So,

This is what I'm talking about.

Like,

When we're divided,

We're picking sides,

Which is causing division.

And it doesn't – like,

There's always been people on multiple sides of issues,

Right?

There's been people on multiple sides of issues since the beginning of time.

It's just we're more divisive now because of the way that we're doing it.

We're doing it just like everything else that we're doing in kind of an unconscious way.

We're very busy,

And we're just doing things,

And we're just,

You know,

We're just going 90 miles an hour.

And we're not slowing down to take a look at,

Like,

Why things are so ugly.

We think,

Like,

Why are things so ugly?

Oh,

It's because we're divided.

It's just – no,

It's not because we're divided.

We've always been divided.

So,

Why are things so ugly?

It's because of the way that we're divided.

Like,

You know,

So one of the things that we're doing that's extremely dangerous and causing a lot of the problems is that we are labeling,

Which has always caused problems.

It's really – I think – I don't know how many people really get this.

It kind of blew my mind when I got it,

When I followed it all the way back.

Like,

Because,

You know,

I always say,

Like,

I pay attention.

I understand things in dynamics.

So,

Once I got a visual or an understanding of this dynamic,

And I started taking it and putting it into different situations,

And putting it in different situations,

Going back through time,

And understanding that these same dynamics were at play a long time ago,

And they caused problems then,

And are still causing problems now.

Like,

It's like those are the mind-blowing things to me sometimes.

When I can – you know,

So I'll see if I can do it now.

So,

It's like,

You know,

We're talking about – I'm talking about picking a side and the dangers and how we pick sides.

So,

One of that is,

Like I said,

Labeling.

So,

What we do when we label,

When we pick sides,

Is it's not – the problem isn't that we say,

I think that something should be done this way.

That's not a problem.

The problem comes in when we say,

I think things should be done this way,

And the fact that you don't agree with me makes you a bad person,

Makes you an idiot,

Makes you my enemy because you think differently than me,

Means that we don't have anything in common.

See,

What happens when we start doing those types of things,

Which we freaking do,

And if you're telling yourself you don't,

You're a liar.

Sorry.

I just – I get frustrated with the people rationalizing their behaviors.

Like,

I'm not perfect.

I do this too,

But at least I say I do it.

You know,

Own it.

We all do it.

So,

If you're saying that you don't do it,

You're full of crap and start getting honest with yourself because if you're not honest with yourself,

You're never going to live a happy life.

So,

We all do it.

Okay,

Rant over.

So,

We label people,

And what we're doing when we're labeling them as our enemy or the antagonist or the disagreeers or whatever other label you want to put on it,

Believe it or not,

It literally strips their humanity from them.

It minimizes them into an opinion about a topic.

That's really all they are because you're not taking into consideration anything else about them.

You're not taking into consideration that they may have a soul and you have a soul that's eternal.

You're not taking into consideration that they are a human being and you're a human being.

You're not taking into consideration how much they love their children and their families and their friends.

You're not taking into consideration that they want to be happy just like you.

We're more alike than we are different,

And you're taking all the similarities to that person and you're throwing them in the trash and minimizing them into your opponent.

That's all they are.

It's literally what we do.

We literally do that,

And we're not even conscious that we're doing it.

But the reason that I'm so confident that this is what we do is because it's the only thing that makes sense.

This is why I deal in dynamics,

Because if you look at the way people treat other people,

You can't treat other people like that and get away with it.

You can't,

Not with good conscience.

You can't crap on people and think you're a good person.

You can't do that.

So the only way you can get away with it is on an unconscious level if you strip their humanity and you turn them into a belief system.

If you turn them into an ideology,

If you turn them into an idea instead of a human being,

If you minimize them to that,

Then you can crap on them because they don't really matter because they're not really a human being.

This all happens on an unconscious level.

When I'm explaining this,

I'm not implying that we're bad people if we do this.

Like I said,

We all do it.

What I'm saying is that we're doing it unconsciously,

And we need to start becoming aware of what we're doing.

That's causing all the controversy.

We are minimizing people.

If you look at what has worked throughout history in large social change,

I don't know how many times I brought this up,

But it's a lot.

What works in social change is when people don't do that.

Two or three of the biggest examples are Martin Luther King Jr.

,

Nelson Mandela,

Gandhi.

I think MLK Jr.

And Nelson Mandela might be better examples for this particular example,

But my point is Nelson Mandela was in jail for,

What,

29 years?

He really wasn't accomplishing much except being in jail.

Maybe having a conversation with people every once in a while,

But really nothing got accomplished.

When did things start getting accomplished?

When he stopped minimizing his perceived enemy as simply a perceived enemy.

When he dropped all his anger and hatred and started talking to his perceived enemy as a human being,

Even though they weren't treating him as a human being.

It's not that we sit around and we wait for the other side to do it first.

That's another freaking famous technique that for some reason we think is a good excuse for our poor behavior.

If I do it and they don't do it,

No,

You have to give away first what you want to do.

We're never going to get anywhere.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

They used to teach us this when we were children.

Now we're adults and we forgot it.

If somebody is being a jerk,

That doesn't mean you're supposed to be a jerk back and then,

Okay,

Good.

I'm justified in being a jerk.

So therefore,

Okay,

Yep,

I'm living my life rightly.

You're never going to solve anything like that.

So when Nelson Mandela and MLK Jr.

,

When they started talking to their perceived enemies as human beings,

Started going like,

You know what?

I want to understand you.

What,

You know,

Like,

Why?

Why do you think it's okay to suppress the rights of all these people?

You know,

Just.

I'm curious.

Then all of a sudden they started having a dialogue instead of a fight.

And then they started communicating like two human beings.

Going,

Oh,

Wait,

This person's talking to us,

Not like an enemy,

Like they're actually trying to solve a problem.

They're just.

They want to have a discussion about things without it turning into an argument.

Okay.

I'll talk to him about it.

And then they talk.

And then after a while,

They start finding common ground.

Then after a while,

They start understanding each other.

Why?

Because they're interacting like human beings instead of enemies.

We're never going to get along.

We're never going to fix anything as long as we minimize people into a thought form,

A label,

An enemy.

That's the danger in picking sides that way.

You can pick a side.

You can be like,

I think that this is right.

And I'm not going to agree with that other person.

Okay,

Fine.

But you're not going to solve it either.

Unless you start having conversations with that other person like they're a human being.

That's the only time we can actually have a conversation where we can hear one another.

And we can find that common ground.

Because there's always common ground.

Because we're more alike than we are different.

We all want the same things.

We all want peace.

We all want happiness.

We all want our families to be safe.

And yet we argue about stuff all the time because we're picking sides.

And you're saying,

If it doesn't look like the way that I want it,

Then you're my perceived enemy and screw you.

It's us against you.

Nobody wins a fight.

There's no victor in a fight.

There's a perceived victor.

Temporarily.

But the problem doesn't go away.

That was one of the things that kind of helped me when I was younger.

When I was younger,

I got into a lot of physical fights.

It's just a different version of an audible fight.

The dynamics are very similar.

It's just one person versus another.

What people found out with me is that they were never going to change my opinion.

Once they found that out,

A lot of people stopped fighting me.

I'm a fairly small guy.

These big guys would come in and they'd be like,

Whatever.

We'd have a disagreement about something.

I should do something that they want me to do or whatever.

There's some sort of disagreement there.

And then they'd be like,

Well,

It's my way.

My way is going to win.

No,

It's not.

They'd be like,

Well,

I'll kick your butt.

And I'm like,

Okay,

Maybe you can try.

Maybe you will.

Maybe you won't.

But it's not going to change anything.

And then we'd usually get in a fight.

And then it didn't matter whether they won or lost.

Because I wasn't changing my opinion.

I wasn't going to kiss their ass.

I wasn't going to cow down to them.

I wasn't going to admit they were right.

I wasn't going to say that they won.

They got nothing out of their victory except some sore knuckles.

So once people found this out about me,

A lot of people stopped going there with me.

Because when I was young,

Everybody that was bigger than me just thought that they could kick my butt,

And then that would solve the problem.

Once after a while,

They found out,

And I heard people telling other people this.

This is how I know it's true.

I've literally heard conversations that one dude was like,

Oh,

You're going to fight Glenn?

Don't bother.

They're like,

What do you mean,

Don't bother?

It's not going to change anything.

You're going to have to come back and fight this kid every week for the next six months.

And then even after that,

It's still not going to accomplish anything.

He's still going to be who he is.

He's never going to give up.

You're never going to get him to cave.

And I'm not the only one that did this dynamic.

So there were literally some of the bigger guys that were like,

Oh,

He's one of those.

Oh,

Okay,

Screw that.

And they'd literally walk away,

And I'd be like,

Wait a minute,

What happened?

I thought we were going to fight.

And they're like,

Oh,

No,

I'm not going to bother fighting somebody like you.

It's not going to do anything.

I'm twice your size.

I'm going to look like a moron beating up a little kid,

And it's not going to accomplish anything anyway.

So they'd walk away.

But that's really what most of,

So take that dynamic and bring it into verbal confrontations,

Which is just another form of fighting.

That's what happens.

Nobody changes their mind.

After a defeat,

Nobody goes,

Oh,

Well,

The other side was right,

And I was wrong.

No,

They just go,

Well,

Okay,

We lost that battle.

We'll win the war.

We'll keep fighting.

We'll get them next time.

And then this,

Hence our political system.

So we do.

It's not about solving any problems.

If we're trying to solve problems,

We would have solved problems.

That's how everything in the universe works.

If you put your energy towards something,

Eventually you accomplish it.

So if we were trying to solve problems and we're putting in the necessary energy to solve problems,

We would be solving problems.

We are not solving problems.

We are creating more problems.

Why?

Because we're not trying to solve any problems.

What we're doing is we're trying to win.

So the Democrats are trying to get power,

And they say it's a means to end.

Well,

Yes,

We're trying to get power,

But it's because so we can implement the things that we want to do once we get power.

No,

They don't,

Though.

They don't implement three quarters of what they say they're going to implement.

And if they do implement anything,

It just doesn't last because then the Republicans come in and they say,

Well,

We can't let this stand because then it looks like if it's a win,

Then it will look like it's a win for the Democrats,

And then they'll have power.

And this is all about fighting for power.

It's not about solving problems.

So we have to dismantle and make difficult whatever they're trying to do so we can gain power.

Now,

Once we gain power,

We will implement things that will actually make this country better.

That's what they tell themselves,

And it's a load of BS because the Democrats are doing the same thing.

They're like,

Well,

We can't let them win because then they'll get power,

And then we won't be able to implement what we want.

So we have to dismantle everything that they put into place.

And meanwhile,

All the people at the bottom are just suffering.

These guys are making millions of dollars and stealing it and pocketing it,

And their lives are fine,

And they're just arguing back and forth and fighting back and forth and pretending that they're righteous and pretending that they care about us and pretending that they're trying to solve problems,

Which they're not.

They're just trying to gain power.

So this is how it's always been.

We're just coming to a culmination period of it.

So if you take this dynamic and you understand that this is how.

.

.

So towards the beginning,

I said I followed it all the way down and it blew my mind.

What I was talking about is when I looked at this dynamic of stripping the humanity so people were just an ideology instead of a human being,

And that it actually,

On an unconscious level,

Strips the humanity.

It literally does that.

We no longer perceive them as a human being.

Once I understood that,

I went all the way back and I went,

Oh my God,

This is why war is acceptable in the name of God.

Because every religion says,

Thou shall not kill.

It's against every religion to kill and every religion has killed people in the name of their God,

In the name of their religion.

So I always was like,

What do people tell themselves to make that okay?

Even when I was a kid,

I was like,

There's something wrong here.

Thou shall not kill.

Ah,

Let's go kill in the name of the person that said thou shall not kill.

Yes.

Huh?

Huh?

Seriously?

That's such an obvious contradiction.

There's got to be something wrong.

It's what I just said.

Back then,

When the religions were really the crux of the political system and how they controlled people,

What they did is they made non-believers.

Well,

They're a non-believer.

They're not human beings.

Now,

If you were to go back in time and say,

Hey,

Are the non-believers human beings?

They'd be like,

Well,

Yeah.

I mean,

Of course they're human beings,

But they're non-believers.

So,

It's.

.

.

So,

Okay,

I'll say it another way.

I mean,

I think basically,

For all intents and purposes,

It strips the humanity out of people.

And I say that because it no longer comes into consideration that they're a human being.

That's why I say it completely strips their humanity.

And I still think that that is true.

But another way to phrase it is that non-believer is way up at the importance level.

It's way up at the top.

And then human being could be like way down at the bottom.

Because it's not that people,

Like,

Say they're no longer a human being.

Right?

They don't give it any thought,

Really,

Whether they're a human being or whether they're not a human being,

Unless somebody asks them.

If somebody asks them,

Then I think most people would probably say,

Well,

Yes,

Of course,

They're human beings.

I mean,

I'm not a moron.

I know that they're a person.

I'm just saying they're a non-believer and that's dangerous.

That's what's really important.

The fact that they're a human being is way down here.

That's just,

You know,

We don't really need to talk about that.

What's important is that they're a non-believer and they're dangerous.

So we have to kill them.

That's the important piece.

The aspect of them being a human being really isn't taken into consideration because it's completely secondary to the fact that we've got to kill them.

Right?

So it doesn't really matter if you put it way low on a priority list or you wipe it away.

It doesn't really matter.

It's on an unconscious level anyway.

If you ask anybody,

I bet you we could,

We could probably poll a billion people and a billion people would say,

Like,

Oh,

No,

I don't strip the humanity.

I understand that people are people.

Yeah,

Up here on a conscious level,

But that's not driving your behaviors.

That's not driving your decision-making.

That's not driving your life decisions.

What's driving it is your unconscious beliefs and your unconscious beliefs is that they're dangerous.

They're bad.

So we can do anything to them.

We can kill them.

We can dismantle them.

We can abuse them.

We can strip away their rights.

We can put them over in Guantanamo Bay and pretend that that's not part of our country technically so we can just torture people and do whatever we want to them because they're dangerous.

They're bad.

They're not really human beings.

We're not actually,

You ever wonder that,

The people that torture other people,

Like how do they do it?

Where do they have to go in their head?

That's not normal.

That's not normal to like go there.

Like I've talked in this podcast,

I've talked many times about getting in fights growing up.

To this day,

I mean,

I'm 56.

I can't watch cage fighting.

It reminds me too much of street fighting.

I can get away with watching some boxing every once in a while because of the gloves and the point systems and the technique and everything,

But I can't watch the cage fighting because it's like,

It just reminds me of the mental place that you need to go to go try to hurt another human being like that.

Like I used to have to,

That's not natural,

Man.

And it's completely against who I am.

I really did not want to do that.

All the fighting that I got into,

I hated fighting.

I still do.

To make myself do it,

I was backed into a corner where I couldn't find another way out.

It's the only way I did.

And the place that I needed to go was so dark and vicious and non-human even to get myself to be able to do that.

I can't watch that stuff on TV because it freaks me out,

Man.

I'm just like,

No,

Man.

I understand the space they're in,

The mental,

Emotional,

Psychotic space that you need to get into.

You need to lock into this mode to try to freaking kill somebody,

Even if you're not trying to kill them.

I mean,

Now granted,

I'm sure that some people are different,

Especially these professional fighters.

I don't know what's going on inside their head.

All I'm saying is it reminds me of that.

Maybe they can keep themselves grounded or something because of all their training.

I don't know.

But I can't watch it because it's,

Like I said,

It's this dark,

Deep blackness that you need to go to of sheer rage that it's just a place that I don't ever want to visit again.

It's freaking scary is what it is.

So people have to do that to torture other people because some guy in a suit in Washington told them to.

And of course,

It's not just the United States.

People all over the world do it.

But that's where I'm from,

So that's what I'm using as an example.

So it's like,

What do you have to tell yourself?

What switch do you need to flip to be able to do that to somebody?

That's twisted,

Man.

This is why we have so much PTSD.

It's getting worse and worse and worse because we are trying to shift out of this reality of violence that we've been in and create a new paradigm.

And so people are coming onto this planet more.

Each generation is coming in more sensitive.

Our psyche just can't do that.

We can't go overseas and kill a bunch of people and just have it not affect us.

It's unnatural.

How do we do it?

It's by stripping them of their humanity.

They're the enemy,

And it's not working.

Not in the intense situations,

It's not working anymore,

Hence the PTSD.

It's just not normal.

So that's the extreme of killing and war and all that stuff.

But how is that happening?

How is that being allowed?

Everything that is happening on a global scale is happening on an individual scale in our own lives.

So this is what blows my mind with dynamics.

I can go back and forth with a dynamic.

It's like,

Okay,

This dynamic that we're talking about is labeling and picking a side.

And if you do it wrong,

Like I said,

You can be on a side.

You just got to be careful not to strip the humanity of the other side.

So if we do it wrong,

We pick a side,

We label somebody as an enemy or whatever.

We can start with a simple situation,

Blow it out of proportion to religious wars 100,

000 years ago or 5,

000 years ago or 3,

000 years ago or whatever,

And go,

Oh,

My God,

That was the dynamic.

That's how they rationalized it.

They stripped it.

They stripped the humanity,

And they became that label,

And then it was okay to kill,

And it was okay to do that.

We can see it in this grand scale,

And then we can move it over into current times,

And we go,

Oh,

My God,

That's how we're getting away with it now.

We're just like everybody on the news and the government says that those people are bad,

And we have to kill them just for our own safety.

So we go,

Okay,

Well,

I guess we got to kill them.

So we go kill them.

Well,

We're not killing people.

I mean,

Think about what outrages people.

The thing that has outraged people in communities,

I guess it probably started in Vietnam,

Was televised war.

When people were actually seeing what was being done in war,

When they were actually watching other human beings being killed,

They're like,

Oh,

My God.

It brought a reality to what was happening,

Right?

And it was a big push against it because the people were seeing it with their own eyes for the first time,

But the people that weren't there,

And they're like,

Oh,

My God,

This is unacceptable.

So it's just rationalizing it,

Making it okay.

But see,

It's still at a grand scale what I'm talking about with war.

So what I mean by that grand scale is happening on a smaller scale in our individual lives.

That's why we accept it.

If we weren't doing it in our own lives,

We wouldn't accept it on a grand scale.

The government would be like,

Hey,

These people are bad.

We have to go kill them.

And we'd be like,

What?

No,

Man,

That's not okay.

You can't just go kill a bunch of people.

That's weird.

No.

And they'd be like,

No,

You don't understand.

They're the enemy,

And they're dangerous,

And we have to.

And we'd be like,

Okay,

We need to sit down and talk about this because there's got to be another way,

Because just going and killing other human beings is not right.

I mean,

Even I know that.

So no,

We're not going to put up with this.

You need to explain this to us,

And we need to try other options because this is unacceptable.

We don't do that because we drank the Kool-Aid at some point.

We're like,

This is how it is.

It's just how it is.

So we're actually living it in our lives.

And how do we live it?

Well,

I think it's pretty obvious how we live it in the political climate in the United States right now.

Everybody that wants to vote for Trump is a vicious disciple of Satan.

And anybody that wants to vote for Harris is a complete moron,

Blind of democracy and censorship or whatever,

Whatever particular platforms you choose to pick out.

But whatever it is,

Is the other side is bad,

And you're good.

That I know.

Nobody is sitting there going,

I'm going to vote for this person because I'm bad.

No,

We're all rationalizing why we're good and they're bad.

All of them.

Except three that like being bad.

So I don't think,

Quite honestly,

I don't think the answer is going to come in this political election.

So you can probably take that example and you could use it as an example of what I'm talking about,

Picking sides and labeling and minimizing people to an ideology instead of a human being.

And you can understand it that way.

But other than that,

You might as well throw it out because it's not going to get solved.

We're too close to the election and it's too big of a sensitive issue.

Let's start with something smaller.

This is what we do.

So like I said,

The dynamic,

We're talking thousands of years ago with religious wars.

We're talking global wars now,

More current times.

We're talking about a presidential election.

We're talking about gossiping,

A water cooler.

Do you notice that like when somebody does something bad,

That we have a tendency to minimize them into that thing?

Somebody did something wrong.

Oh,

My God.

Did you hear about that person?

Oh,

They're a bad person.

They're one of the bad ones.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They were out in public two weeks ago at a party drinking.

And one of them yelled at their spouse.

And a bunch of people saw it.

So they are a spouse yeller.

And that is inappropriate.

So therefore,

They are a bad person.

And I'm good because I recognize that.

They weren't like a child that grew up and played in the playground and got sand kicked in their face.

And they didn't go all through the trials and tribulations that you went through when you were in school.

And they don't want their families to be happy.

They don't have the capacity to love.

And they're required to be perfect.

Otherwise,

As soon as anybody makes any mistake and anybody in public sees it,

Then they are minimized to that mistake.

We do it all the time.

We do it with celebrities.

You know,

Celebrities do something.

They make a mistake.

Like,

I mean,

Seriously.

You know,

Most celebrities are young,

Right?

Like,

You know,

I mean,

It might be a little bit more obvious in athletics.

But,

I mean,

Because usually they go through high school and then into the pros or college and into the pros.

So they're,

You know,

In their 20s when they're handed millions of dollars.

And,

Like,

You know,

One of the things that I say about Tom Brady,

And I don't think Tom Brady's perfect,

And I don't know the guy.

But,

Like,

He seems like he's pretty well grounded for the amount of fame that he's had.

You know,

He seems fairly well grounded,

Which I think is mind-boggling and amazing.

Most of us struggle with life.

Just normal life.

No extremes.

And we're just managing.

Can you imagine being 23 years old and handed $50 million?

And it doesn't start there,

Right?

Like,

When these kids were eight,

They were like everybody in the town.

And all the parents knew that this kid was an amazing athlete and might go somewhere someday.

And they wanted to talk to him,

And they wanted to be his friend.

And then when he went to the pizza place when he was 13,

He got a free pizza because he scored the winning touchdown.

And all the girls wanted to date him,

And all the guys wanted to be his friend.

And he's been living this since he was probably eight.

And everybody's just,

Yes,

Whatever you say is right.

Yes,

Yes.

And then they hand him $50 million,

And they wonder why these kids go off track.

Are you kidding me?

I couldn't imagine that.

If somebody handed me a million dollars when I was 21 years old,

I would have been dead by the time I was 22,

No doubt.

The stuff I would have done.

I mean,

The stuff I did already,

And I didn't even have any money.

So my point is humanity is stripped.

We strip humanity so easily.

And our kids are doing it.

It's like we're sitting there on Sunday making fun of Taylor Swift for going to a freaking football game.

And our kids are sitting there watching it,

Deriving the idea that there's something wrong with a famous person going to a football game to watch their boyfriend.

I don't know why,

But that's a reason to strip somebody's humanity.

They're a fool.

They're a moron.

I wasn't even paying attention to what they were saying,

So I don't know what version of this people were saying,

But they found something.

There was some reason why that that wasn't appropriate or something.

And then everybody talked about it.

And the funny part is everybody was so upset that it was taking the attention off football.

It's like it's taking the attention off football.

So they're like,

Oh,

The people who filmed the games shouldn't keep showing her.

Well,

The reason they keep showing her is that the ratings are going up.

It's the public that's reinforcing this.

See,

This is my point.

When we strip the humanity,

It becomes a topic of conversation in our houses,

Which that's how we spread it to our children.

That's how it goes generation to generation to generation.

This is why it's acceptable to strip people's humanity,

Because we do it with all the famous people.

Oh,

Freaking famous people.

They've got hundreds of millions of dollars,

Everything that life gives them,

And they do these stupid things.

Really,

You try to handle $100 million just slapped in your lap.

Oh,

I'd love to.

Yeah,

I guarantee you,

You'd make some mistakes.

And it's like,

What are you teaching your children?

To judge that as soon as they make a mistake,

Then that's who they are.

Because that's all they hear.

Oh,

Did you hear about Joe at work?

Yeah.

Put some whiskey in his coffee.

Idiot.

Look at that,

He screwed up his life,

Moron.

And then the kids hear that over dinner.

Oh,

People are morons.

And people.

.

.

We talk like crap about.

.

.

Oh,

They've got millions of dollars.

They have everything that they could ever want out of life,

And they go screw it up.

And then we tell our children,

Money doesn't buy happiness.

That's not what's important.

Family is what's important.

Really.

So you tell your children that family is what's important,

And that money doesn't buy happiness.

And you tell them that,

What,

Once every couple of years?

And then on a daily basis,

You paint this picture like,

If they had more money,

Then they'd be happy.

The way you talk,

And you reinforce that.

And you think that they're not going to pick up on that?

See,

We have to start paying attention to what we're doing on an unconscious level and why we're doing it.

We're stripping the humanity out of people.

We're saying it's okay to minimize people into things and judge them for things.

And then we wonder why we live in a judgmental world where people are stripped of their humanity.

It's because it's inundated in our society.

Society is just a group of people.

And quite honestly,

This is interesting,

Society is a group of wonderful people,

If you ask me.

Wonderful,

Wonderful people.

You know,

You meet people,

Most people I've ever met,

At least 90% of them,

If not more,

Are wonderful people.

They're just good people.

They want the same things that I want,

Right?

So where are we going off then?

We're going off on the unconscious things that we don't know we're doing.

This is why I'm trying to explain this stuff.

I'm not trying to explain it to be a jerk or to make you feel bad about yourself.

It's actually the opposite.

I'm trying to explain it so we can start getting some understanding to what is driving our behavior,

What is driving the problems.

We run around and do unconscious things and minimize people into labels on a daily basis at the water cooler,

At the dinner table,

At the Dunkin' Donuts.

Because somebody in front of us didn't think of everybody else when they decided to get five coffees and I only want one and now I'm inconvenienced.

So now they're a jerk.

And we complain about all this stuff as if there's something wrong with these people.

And we do that on a daily basis.

And then we wonder why the government,

These people in suits can go on TV and say,

Hey,

We got to go kill some people.

And everybody goes,

Ah,

Crap.

Eh,

All right.

And it's just accepted.

That's why.

It's because it's inundated in our society.

And that's how we're going to change it.

By each one of us going,

Oh my God.

If I'm honest with myself,

I do that.

It's okay.

I'm not gonna judge you.

I'm not gonna judge you for judging people.

That would be me judging,

Right?

And I'm not gonna do this perfectly and I bet you're not gonna do it perfectly,

But we can do it to the best of our ability.

We can be honest with ourselves and go,

Wow,

I do a version of that.

I'm gonna look into this.

I'm gonna try to understand myself better.

And I'm gonna try veering away from doing that.

I'm gonna try to not do that to the best of my ability.

And when I do that,

And when you do that,

And when Bob does that,

And Sally does that,

And somebody else does it,

And somebody else does it,

And don't worry about if they're doing it or not because you can't control them.

But it spreads.

It spreads.

Gossip spreads around people who like to gossip.

I worked jobs and one of the things that I tried not to do was gossip and complain because I didn't see the benefit in it.

And I understood these types of dynamics.

So people would come in and they'd start complaining or gossiping with me.

And after I would usually explain,

I'd be like,

Hey,

I'm really trying to work on myself.

Part of the working on myself that I'm doing is I'm trying not to complain about anything and I'm trying not to gossip.

And so far what I've seen is I seem to be happier.

It's kind of an experiment I'm doing.

I'm going to keep doing that.

So it's not saying,

Hey,

You shouldn't gossip.

That's the first mistake we make.

When I tell people that there's something wrong with society,

They go out and try to fix everybody else that they see doing it instead of fixing themselves.

It's the opposite.

All you can do is fix yourself.

Don't worry about everybody else.

So what people used to do is,

After I would explain it to them once,

Sometimes I would remind them of it one more time.

Then they'd be like,

It's just instinctive.

It's habitual.

So they'd come and start gossiping or complaining to me and I'd just sit there kind of calmly,

Just not biting,

Not taking the bait,

Not going with it,

Just kind of looking at them calmly.

And all of a sudden they'd be like.

.

.

And at some point they'd notice that I wasn't getting upset.

I wasn't getting emotionally charged by their story,

Like most people do.

That's what feeds it.

So then they'd start looking at me and then all of a sudden they'd pause and they'd be like,

Oh,

That's right,

You don't do the gossiping or complaining thing,

Huh?

And I'm like,

Yeah,

No,

I don't.

And they're like,

Okay.

And then they go off and they go do the same thing to somebody else.

Which was funny.

But most of my workplaces,

The gossiping at least minimized.

Not all of them.

Well,

I would say all of them at least minimized because some people stopped doing it.

See,

This is what I call planting the seed.

When we just behave differently in a healthier way,

There's going to be people around us that it captures their interest at some point.

Maybe they're a good person.

Maybe they've been thinking about working on themselves for a little while.

Maybe they don't really feel good when they do it.

Who knows?

And then all of a sudden they see you behaving differently.

Not the status quo.

They make a mental note.

It might be then.

It might be two weeks later.

It might be six months later.

It might be two years later.

All of a sudden they go,

You know,

I think I'm going to try that thing Glenn's doing.

Man,

I've been around the gossip a lot lately and it just doesn't feel good.

So then they start doing it.

And that's how people can learn off of us.

As long as we're not trying to teach them.

As long as we just do what's right for us.

As soon as we walk around and go,

You shouldn't gossip.

You know what?

All they're going to do is just start gossiping about you.

That's all.

That's not going to solve anything.

So you just make it about you.

I'm working on myself.

This is just the experiment I'm doing.

Don't make it about them.

Let them do whatever the heck they want.

Make it about you.

And some of them,

Some people will pick up that seed.

And that's the grassroots stuff that causes change.

This is how things change.

There's lots of people doing this type of stuff.

So understand it and just input.

It doesn't matter if it changes the world.

It's going to make you a happier person.

Guaranteed.

We can't trash other people and strip the humanity and walk around.

I mean,

We can unconsciously.

We can pretend.

Oh,

I'm a good person.

No,

I'm a good person.

I mean,

Yeah,

Sure.

Of course you're a good person.

Like I said,

At least 90% of the people I know are good people.

But that doesn't mean you're doing the right things.

Oh,

I'm a good person.

Don't use I'm a good person to rationalize.

We're all good people.

That doesn't mean that there isn't things that we can work on in our lives.

So try not to get defensive.

Try to be honest with yourself so you can see these types of things.

And then you can make the changes.

And you can be part of the change that you wish to see in the world.

I just saw a quote.

I'll end with this.

I just saw a quote,

I think,

Last night.

It was like a movie or something.

I don't know.

But I saw this quote that I never saw before.

And I don't know if I'll get it right.

But it was a Mother Teresa quote.

And it said something like,

If you want to change the world,

Go home and love your family.

And I was like,

Ooh,

Okay.

That's good.

That's good.

Because everybody,

Usually when people talk about changing the world,

It's just this huge thing.

It's too big.

It's just what can I do?

That's the thing.

What can I do,

Said 8 billion people.

All you got to do is change yourself.

Don't worry about what the other 7.

9 blah,

Blah,

Blah are doing.

Just bring love into your household.

Minimize gossip in your household.

Don't partake in it at your job.

If you do that,

Like people,

I know this,

It might take a little while,

But people actually choose to do healthy behaviors when they're exposed to them.

It's just we're so conditioned to the unhealthy behaviors that it's just commonly acceptable.

And everybody run,

Like I said,

Society basically runs around character assassinating,

Gossiping,

And all this crap on a daily basis.

And nobody thinks that they're a bad person.

They don't think they're part of the problem.

Right?

You are part of the problem.

That's how collective works.

Is when you're in a collective,

If you have the majority that are doing one thing,

That's a representation of the collective.

So all we got to do is one person at a time.

That's how change always takes place.

It has.

It's worked in the past that can work again.

So yeah.

So when you're picking sides,

Just be careful not to demonize the other side.

If we can have conversations that exchange perspectives in a healthy way,

That's where we can start.

Like,

You know,

The Dalai Lama,

I might do another podcast on this separately,

But the Dalai Lama talks about being told he was wishy-washy because he would listen to somebody speaking about one perspective.

He's involved in world issues.

So he has one,

Like,

Let's say country,

And this person's explaining this country's perspective,

And he's listening,

And he's like,

Okay,

Yeah,

I understand.

Okay,

I see what you mean.

I understand what you mean.

And then everybody's like,

Oh,

He agrees with this side,

Right?

And then he'd pivot over,

And he'd listen to the opposite side,

And he'd be like,

Okay,

I understand.

Okay,

All right,

I see what you're saying.

All right,

I understand.

And they'd be like,

Oh,

He just switched over to that guy's side.

No,

That's not what's happening.

He was just taking in information from both sides,

And he was listening to try to understand.

Which is ironic that we do this so little that people can't even recognize it when it's done.

But this is what we need to start doing.

We have to start listening to understand why this opposing side thinks the way that they think.

Not to agree with it.

It's just to understand it.

Because if we understand why they think the way that they think,

Then maybe we can explain the way we think.

And they go,

Oh.

And if they listen,

Oh,

Oh,

That's why you think that way.

Oh,

Okay.

I thought it was because you're a moron,

Jackass,

But you're actually not.

You actually have some reasoning behind this.

I mean,

I don't agree with your reasoning,

But you have some reasoning.

I found this when I was discussing things with people about COVID.

I would discuss things,

And they would say,

Well,

I see it this way.

And then I'd say,

Okay,

Well,

I see it this way.

And they'd go,

Okay.

And they would just dismiss that.

They would go,

Okay,

Next subject.

Okay,

Well,

I see this.

I mean,

It's on the same subject.

It was about COVID.

But they would go,

Okay.

They would bring up a different argument.

And they'd go,

Okay,

Well,

I see.

This is why I think this is true.

And I'd go,

Okay,

Well,

This is why I think this is true.

And then they'd go,

Okay,

Throw that away.

Next argument.

And then at the end of the argument,

They'd be like,

You know,

Somebody actually said this to me.

They're like,

Glenn,

I'm worried for you.

I think you're losing your mind.

And I'm like,

What?

You think I'm losing my mind?

Because what they were doing was when I would come up with an opposing view,

They would just dismiss it.

They'd be like,

Okay,

Well,

That's.

They wouldn't stop for a minute and say,

Does that make logical sense?

Because it did.

My points made logical sense.

I'm a very logical person.

So if they would have looked at that and they would have said,

Okay,

I still believe what I believe.

But I understand why Glenn believes the way he believes.

I don't agree with it,

But I understand it.

It makes logical sense in a particular way.

I think my logic,

Let's say overpowers his logic or something.

I like my logic better than his logic.

But at least I understand why he thinks that way.

If people were taking,

If that person was taking information like this,

Not just one person,

It was multiple people.

But if these people were taking in what I was saying and trying to understand my point,

They would have walked away and they would have said,

Well,

I don't agree with Glenn,

But I understand why he thinks the way he does.

But they weren't.

They were saying,

I think you might be going crazy,

Glenn,

Because you don't say anything that makes any sense.

I just said a bunch of stuff that makes perfect sense.

It literally makes perfect sense.

I mean,

It's not debatable whether it makes sense or not.

You can disagree with it,

But saying it doesn't make sense just simply isn't true.

It makes perfect sense.

It's like two plus two equals four.

If people lie,

They might lie again.

That makes perfect sense because they've been proven to lie.

So that means there's a chance they might lie again.

It's a logical conclusion.

That makes sense.

Now they could say,

I don't think these people are lying.

Oh,

Okay,

Fine.

You don't think they're lying.

And I say,

I don't know if they're lying,

But I think there's a possibility that they are,

So I'm not going to trust what they're saying.

You can disagree with me.

You can think that they're telling the truth for some reason,

But to say my line of thinking isn't logical or doesn't make any sense or I'm going crazy,

That just means you weren't listening.

So we have to listen to understand.

This might be another whole podcast,

But that's going to do it for tonight.

All right.

Thank you for listening.

I appreciate you.

Peace.