Passion & Perception

In this episode of Life, Lessons, & Laughter, Glenn dives into the topic of passions and perceptions. Often when someone gets emotional about something it gets labeled as passion, other times it gets labeled as out of control emotion. Which one is it? How do we know the difference?

Transcript

Welcome to Life Lessons and Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Welcome to Life Lessons Laughter with Glenn Ambrose,

Your host,

This guy,

This guy,

That guy,

Ben Barber,

That guy,

This guy,

Your assistant host,

Assistant host.

That's just a term I made up.

I don't think anybody's ever said that before.

No,

I don't think anybody's ever said that before.

What are we talking about,

Man?

We are talking about passion and perception.

All right,

I have neither of those things.

Next topic,

The PNP topic.

So this is our passions.

Our passions are ours.

Yes.

And you know,

There's a lot.

I'm a pretty passionate person.

I would say so.

I can talk about just about anything and the passion comes into it.

So yeah,

So I'm pretty passionate and I,

And a lot of people are with things that either they're passionate about because it's their purpose or their calling or just because they find it important.

People can get very passionate,

Very emotional about things.

So it's funny when we're on our spiritual walk,

Passion is kind of important.

It's kind of a sign.

It's something we're looking for.

It's something that we want to lock on to.

Find your passion.

Live your passion.

Be passionate.

All this stuff is all in the good direction of your spiritual walk.

And what I've noticed is that oftentimes in life,

Our passions are based on our perceptions.

And when we're being passionate about something,

It's because we think it's very important and it's our passion.

And we kind of,

A lot of times that's how we perceive what's going on.

And when other people are getting upset by our passion,

We're like,

You don't understand this is important.

This is my passion.

And that's kind of how we are right up until the point where somebody else is passionate towards us on something that we don't particularly feel passionate about.

As soon as somebody else is acting passionate about something that we may not find important or we're not being emotional over or we're not internalizing,

It doesn't connect with us the same way.

It's their stuff.

Now oftentimes we get judgmental and we start going,

That person really needs to work on their emotional outbursts.

They obviously have some work to do.

And I think it's just a kind of another version of what sometimes I call spiritual snobbery.

We have to be careful that we don't allow ourselves to run around being passionate about every little thing and justifying it in the name of passion when all we're doing is actually being emotional.

And also not necessarily being so quick to judge somebody else on when they're being emotional and saying,

Geez,

You really need to learn how to reel this in when actually it might be their passion popping through.

So I think it's like most things.

It's awareness.

It's bringing consciousness into our lives.

It's bringing consciousness into our lives.

If we're aware of this dynamic and how it goes,

We can get better at reeling it in,

Being a little bit more conscious of it and interacting a little bit more appropriately with people.

So we'll be like,

Oh,

Well,

I'm talking about everybody being based in love and treating each other with respect and that's important.

And our emotions are flying all over the place and we're going,

You don't understand.

This is very important to me and I'm a good person.

And all that stuff.

And then somebody is like,

Well,

I think we're still hopefully at the tail end.

This remains to be seen,

But of the global pandemic now,

Cause we're in mid July of 2020.

This podcast isn't going to come out until October,

Man.

Okay.

So hopefully we'll be on the other side of it by then.

But regardless,

You know,

We can look at these situations and,

You know,

While I'm passionate about health,

But somebody else is emotional about maybe losing their job,

You know,

Like,

Because I,

You know,

I,

I should be passionate.

It's like,

Yeah,

But you're like,

You,

You have a stable job.

Somebody else might be just as passionate about losing their job,

You know?

So it's,

I think,

That's kind of where I'm seeing it bubble up now and becoming a little bit more of an issue.

If people hang their hat,

There's so many social issues going on lately.

If somebody,

You know,

Really speaks passionately,

It's like,

Oh,

Well,

I'm showing that I really care and that's good.

But if you speak passionately,

The others,

You know,

Against me,

Well,

Then you're just out of control and your emotions are running you.

It's like,

You know,

Let's slow down here and be first start being honest with ourselves.

And understand that,

You know,

Maybe we need to be in control of ourselves a little bit more,

And we're just using passion as an excuse to run around spewing out,

You know,

All kinds of emotional garbage because it feels good,

You know?

And like I said,

The other side is just not be so quick to judge other people and go,

Well,

When they're lashing out,

They feel passionate about what they're talking about right now.

They're not an emotional defective just because they got excited,

You know?

They're feeling passionate.

And if,

You know,

If you kind of connect with somebody from there,

It's a big difference in how you connect to somebody.

If you're thinking they're being overly emotional about something and you don't think they should,

You're going to react in one way.

Whereas if you're looking at them going,

Okay,

They're obviously very passionate about this and their emotions are bubbling up because they feel that it's very important.

They feel they're expressing their passion because they feel it's important.

That's what it feels like from them,

From their perspective.

Then we can have compassion for them and go,

Oh,

Okay,

So this really feels important to them.

Yeah.

And meet them where they are instead of minimizing how they're feeling.

Yes,

Absolutely.

And a lot of times we have,

A lot of times we have those,

A lot of times we have those situations where the things that we're passionate about or emotional about,

Right,

Are the things that are sensitive to us.

And what do you do when your sensitivity,

Your emotional thing is the opposite of a family member's emotional thing?

So it's a touchy subject to have a conversation on either side of that.

You know what I mean?

Like if somebody,

I was talking on another show yesterday about anxiety and it was like,

If one person in the family has anxiety over things and there are things that they're really emotional about or passionate about,

It's like,

Okay,

I'm going to be really emotional about or passionate about,

We can talk about this with COVID.

Like if they're really anxiety ridden about the cleanliness and the washing of the hands and so on and so forth,

And then somebody else is very emotional about and passionate about trust and you know what I mean?

Not doing all that stuff?

It becomes a fight between those two things.

How do you deal with it when the emotional aspect of both things,

When something that people are passionate about in not necessarily positive ways are butting heads and you have to be with each other because you're family?

Well,

I think you need to,

This is why getting good at having difficult conversations is so important.

We have to have difficult conversations if we expect to be in any type of a healthy relationship and this is a difficult conversation.

You can't leave it floating around unresolved and expect things to go well.

It's just not going to happen.

So,

You have to have the difficult conversation and say,

Okay,

And slow down and understand that the emotion isn't helping.

The emotion isn't helping.

Our emotions are there to capture our attention and say,

Hey,

Like you might want to take notice of this.

Once we've taken notice of it,

We can stop with the emotions.

We don't need to,

Functioning from emotions all the time is not healthy.

It doesn't come to a conclusion.

I can function from emotions like when I'm doing this podcast,

When I'm talking about stuff because it's one way.

I'm not trying to come to a cohesive partnership with somebody else.

I'm teaching,

Man.

I'm the teacher.

That's what I'm doing.

So,

It can be one way,

But in most situations,

It's not one way.

So,

You can't do that.

You have to kind of slow down,

Get the emotions aside and say,

Okay,

Listen,

I don't understand your fear and but I respect the fact that you have it and I know you don't understand my absence of fear in this situation,

But I'm absent of fear.

So,

Like what can we do to try to respect each other?

You know,

Because that's what the foundation always comes to.

Can you accept and respect somebody for being different than you?

You have to be able to do that in a relationship because I don't care how well you get along.

There's going to be differences between you two and if you are incapable of accepting somebody else because they think or feel differently than you or respect,

Accept or respect somebody because they think differently than you,

Then you're not going to have a healthy relationship.

So,

It's about going,

Okay,

Like listen,

If you want to walk around sanitizing everything twice a day,

Cool.

I'm just going to go live my life and,

You know,

And like if I go out of the house,

The first thing I do,

Well,

I can sanitize when I come in because that's like once or twice a day.

So,

I'll do that.

Like,

You know,

Try to come,

Find that middle ground where both sides can be like,

Give a little.

It's a compromise,

You know.

Like,

I mean,

And it's,

I think we have to find compromises in this stuff.

It's like,

Well,

No,

I can't,

You know,

I am so fearful that I can't be around you.

Like,

You know,

Like let's say we have a couple,

Let's just go to extreme and you have one person that is like,

I,

You can't leave the house,

Everything must be sanitized and the other person is on the complete opposite side of the spectrum and they're like,

I'm going to go live normally and how I always would and the other,

Well,

Then you,

I think,

I think that that is in,

You know,

Problem or opportunity.

I think it's an opportunity because then you can kind of really look because if somebody is so riddled with fear that they are willing to lose somebody that is perceived as the love of their life and fear,

Living in fear is more important to them than being in a relationship with somebody they love.

That's an opportunity for you to look and say,

Do I want to continue living in this fear?

And if you don't,

Then it's an opportunity to work,

You know,

Start talking to a life coach or a therapist and start working through that fear so you can come to a middle ground if it's that black and white,

If you so choose,

Or maybe you don't actually love this person or maybe for some reason you're so wrapped up in the fear you think it's worth not having the person that you love in your life until you die to be able to feel what you perceive as safe.

You know,

My,

You know,

My perspective,

My perspective is I don't live in a lot of fear.

So like to me,

Somebody that's completely wrapped up in a fear of like that,

To me,

I perceive that and I'm not saying I'm right.

This is my perception.

I perceive that is going,

Okay,

I'm living in trying to prevent myself from getting sick or dying,

Which I literally cannot do because that's literally impossible,

Is more important than living my life.

So to me,

That's when you're putting the fear of death above living.

So it's not,

You don't really have a life left.

Like you,

If fear of dying is more important than your ability to live in any way,

Shape or form,

I understand people can restrict it to some degree,

But when it's complete,

You can't do anything because your fear of dying is greater than everything else.

I don't really consider that living.

I consider that surviving and waiting to die.

You know,

That,

So you're not really experiencing life.

You're not,

You're not interacting with it in any way,

If it gets that extreme,

You know.

So it could be an opportunity for you to work through that in that situation.

But I think most people,

If you look for the middle ground,

If you look for the solution,

Say I'll give in this way,

You give in that way,

Most people are going to find it.

And what's going to happen is it's going to enhance the relationship because you work through something difficult.

And that's what successful relationships do.

You know,

You respect one another.

You don't have to agree.

You don't have to say I agree that you're full of fear or I agree that that people shouldn't have any fear.

You don't have to agree with the other person,

But what you do have to do is respect them and say I understand that this is how you feel and I'll try to do what I can to accommodate because I care for you.

But you got to meet me,

You got to do the same for me.

Yeah,

We'll go with that.

Yeah.

That seems to be what's coming out right now.

There you go.

So what other aspects are there for perspective,

Right?

Because this is passion and perspective.

So like in what ways do we disregard other people's passions because of our own perspectives,

Right?

Like when I think about that,

I think of like the parent that doesn't want their kid to,

You know,

Play video games for a living or because they don't understand it or they,

You know,

They don't want them to go all in on something that they don't think is a,

You know what I mean?

So in that aspect,

You know,

If you're trying to follow a passion and other people have the perspective that you're wrong,

How do you deal with that?

How do you deal with people not respecting what you're passionate about?

You know,

I mean,

Of course,

When you're a kid,

It can be a little bit difficult because there's sometimes you're really not in control of your life,

You know,

Like,

I mean,

At the end of the day,

Your parents can kind of in a lot of situations kind of determine what you do and what you don't do.

So sometimes,

You know,

That can be an issue.

But I,

You know,

With my son,

You know,

I think that's such a common one in today's age with the video games.

And with my son,

You know,

I kind of faced that and he gave me the you don't understand speech multiple times.

And I tried explaining to him like,

No,

I understand.

Like,

I don't care what your passion is.

Like,

It doesn't,

Like,

Even if I don't understand it,

I will support it.

But you have to show me that this is your passion.

Don't tell me,

Don't distract yourself and do something half ass and then tell me it's your passion.

You know,

So the way I navigated that is,

I said,

Okay,

I'll bite.

Let's say this is your passion.

Let there are people making millions playing video games.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

And a lot of these people are like living pretty cool lives,

You know,

And by cool lives,

What I see and I,

You know,

I don't,

I don't,

I'm not really in this world,

So I don't know them well.

I just,

Just a little bit from what I've heard,

What I hear is,

You know,

Like flying all over the world,

Doing experiences,

Working out regularly,

Staying in shape,

Like putting together diet programs,

Like,

How,

So to me,

That means that they have expanded interests and they actually care about their bodies and they're taking in,

You know,

They're using their money that they're making to experience things in life and broadening their horizons and stuff like that.

That to me kind of sounds cool.

I could care less if they have 30 cars in their garage,

You know,

Like,

So,

So with that in mind,

I was like,

Okay,

Let's just say you're right.

I don't fully understand it,

But let's just say that there's a good life you could have and this could be a new way of expanding yourself and it's your passion.

Show me,

Show me,

Like,

Let's go do something with it.

Don't sit there and play video games seven days a week for eight hours a day and tell me it's your passion.

That's not passion.

Making a life out of it is a passion.

Figuring out how to make a YouTube channel,

How to monetize it,

How to market it,

How to actually,

If this is going to be your life,

Then make it your life and if you start making it your life,

I'll support you in that,

But you're just sitting in your room seven days a week playing video games,

Not doing anything with your life.

That's not a life.

That's locking you,

That's locking yourself away from society,

Disconnecting and,

You know,

So you don't have to experience life.

If you want to take those video games and make a life out of them,

Then show me,

Show me by your actions and that's what I did with him.

It was like,

You know,

I'll support you as long as you show me how you're going to show me how many,

You know,

We'll check in once every couple weeks and show me how many followers you have.

Show,

You know,

Show me the work that you've done.

Show me how you're making this out.

Show me how you've,

You've,

Uh,

Taken a few bucks and gotten a marketing video from some other gamer YouTuber that's showing you how to make a business out of this.

How are you going to support yourself doing this?

Show me,

You know,

And just,

Well,

Okay,

Then you're just sitting around playing video games,

You know,

If you,

You need to use it to make a life that that's like somebody going,

You know,

Um,

Well,

I'm going to be a famous musician and they just never do anything with it.

You know,

They just,

They just sit there and they play and you're like,

Oh,

Have you,

Have you gotten a gig?

No.

Okay.

Well,

That's okay.

I'll just pay your bills for the next 40 years.

Like,

No,

Show me,

Go stand on a corner,

Go stand on a corner and play,

You know,

Like,

Do something with it,

You know,

Make a life out of it.

And,

You know,

So I think that that is,

That's how it's action.

I think holding people to action.

If somebody's passionate about something,

Then passion is energy.

So do something.

Take action.

Use your passion to take action to,

To manifest and do whatever you want to do.

Do it.

Go do it.

Don't sit around talking to me about how passionate you are,

Because that's not passion.

That's just flapping the gums,

You know.

So I think that's the biggest way is,

Is really just show me,

Show me by your actions.

Yeah.

How do you,

So that's,

That's interesting.

I mean,

I could dive into the conversation more about like other aspects because I think that video games are,

You know,

They're not,

They're not,

They're not,

They're not,

They're not,

They're not,

They're not,

They're not,

They're not,

Their not?

The question is,

Is like get into the conversation more about like other aspects,

Because I think that video games are,

Are a clear thing of like,

Yeah,

Everything that you just said is,

Is really easy to do.

Like,

Don't just.

Is it,

Is it,

Is it an escape?

Or is it figuring out how to do it?

And before video games were the prevalent thing in society I remember I went to school for acting in New York and those used to be the cliche,

Right?

Like,

You want to go into art.

You want to go into art,

Like,

Good luck making a living in art,

You know?

And it was this thing where,

Like,

You had to go to New York,

You went to school for an ungodly amount of money.

And then it was like,

But it still had to be like,

What are you going to do now?

You know,

Because,

And the majority of people,

I mean,

I went to school with 700 kids in that class that got accepted.

And I would say maybe 40 of them are working actors because it was an escape,

You know?

Right,

Right.

And it's something that you like and that,

You know,

That's how you determine,

I think,

You know,

Like,

We can think we have passion for a lot of things,

But it's,

You know,

We got to go out there and be realistic and try it.

It's a great angle for the end of this,

The perception of your own passion.

Yeah,

I mean,

It's,

I think,

You know,

One way,

And I know I've mentioned this before,

It's really telling if you have passion for something is a better way than,

You know,

Everybody pictures themselves successful at something and says,

I want that.

But there's so much things attached to success,

You know,

Like in acting,

There's fame,

There's money,

You know,

And then a lot of things being successful at it is money and a perceived of a happy life,

You know?

So there's things attached to the end game that I think people,

It clouds our vision and we can be like,

Oh no,

I'm passionate about that.

I don't know because you've got 14 things all wrapped up into one picture,

You know?

I think the best way to tell if you're passionate about something is are you passionate about doing the work it's going to take you to do to get famous,

You know?

Are you passionate about practicing your craft?

Do you,

When you're sitting there and you go,

Well,

I could just sit on my butt,

Play video games or watch a movie,

Or I could put on Zoom and practice acting,

Doing a monologue and record it three times.

What do you choose?

Because if you're playing video games or watching a movie then your passion isn't acting,

You know?

That's the difference.

It's the,

When you feel alive when you're doing something,

When you do it,

Even if you think that there's a good chance you're going to fail,

You know,

You're in love with the process of the actual doing it.

That's,

And that,

I tell people all the time,

You know,

Why at this point,

I'm comfortable saying that I'm a good life coach.

I'm comfortable saying that I help people.

I'm capable of helping people,

But just because I'm good at something and I can help people doing it is not why I'm doing it.

If I was good at something and I helped people and those were the only two pieces,

I would not do it because it's not enough.

It's not enough.

The piece that makes it enough is because it brings me joy.

It brings it,

When I'm doing it,

When I'm talking about stuff like this,

I get energized.

My energy goes up.

My joy level goes up.

I feel pleasure in my heart area.

I,

Like,

I,

That's how I feel when I'm doing this podcast.

It's how I feel when I'm working with somebody else.

That's why I do it.

That's how I know that it's my passion because of what it does to the inside of me as I'm literally doing it.

Not because of a result that I got.

Not because I'm good at it.

Not because I can help people.

It's because of the joy I feel.

So,

So pay attention to how you feel when you're doing what you say you love.

And if you do really love it and if it is your passion,

Then focus on that.

Do it because of that.

Not because of some specific outcome.

And I guarantee you,

If it's your passion,

You're going to be way better at it than other people.

Why?

Because you're going to practice more.

Because you're going to be more invested in it.

Because that's just,

That,

Because it's coming out of you.

You know,

It's not you trying to do something.

It's you expressing yourself as something.

And of course somebody like that is going to be better than somebody else that's just trying to do it for an outcome.

You can't match that.

You can't match that.

You have,

It has to be your passion to be a master at something.

You know,

That's the only way to hit the highest levels.

And that includes everything,

Even playing games,

Even in video games.

Right.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Somebody's passionate about it and it's an expression of themselves.

They're the ones that are going to make it.

As long as they recognize that for what it is and stay with it.

And that's their motivating factor.

If you enjoyed this episode,

You can find all of Glenn's podcasts right here on the Glenn's podcast.

Please leave a comment or send a message to connect.

Reviews

Makes sense! Thanks guys!

amazing, great content. thank you

Well, much has occurred since this interesting podcast in July! We are now towards the end of October, Rona is heading into a second wave, and we have the upcoming election. I have recently closed my FB account for the time being. I basically use it to keep in touch with friends that I don't get to see. At least two "friends" have made the statement that if anyone doesn't agree with their political agenda, to immediately "unfriend" them. (these are people that I believed were my friends)These comments are likened to someone saying "if you don't practice the religion as I, I don't want anything to do with you" ☹ These people certainly are "passionate" about their political agenda to be willing to lose friends over it. The hatred and threats from some of the threads I was reading was disturbing and disheartening😳Thanks for letting me vent
Blessings 🙏💚🥀

How true! I've now got a YouTube channel because of my passion! who'd have guessed!! 😂 Thanks guys, love and blessings 💖 x

Wow I love your podcasts
Thank you!