Overcoming Feeling Overwhelmed

Being overwhelmed is something that we all struggle with from time to time. In this episode, Glenn gives tips and strategies for how to overcome that feeling, slow down, let go, and overcome that feeling of overwhelm.

Transcript

Hey everybody,

Welcome to the show.

So today we're talking about something that no one probably really can identify with.

It's overwhelmed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay,

So maybe everybody can identify with it.

Not me,

Not this guy.

No,

Ben is always in charge and kind of like Charles in charge.

We have been in charge.

Always knows what to do in every situation.

Yeah,

I do.

Yeah.

Ben in charge of us of our wrongs and our rights.

Yes.

The rest of us.

We don't know.

Yeah,

No.

So everybody feels overwhelmed.

I feel like everybody feels overwhelmed all of the time right now.

Like,

I feel like it's growing exponentially every year.

I think that's kind of the norm of how we walk around.

I mean,

I know I used to kid that it was my middle name.

It was like,

I mean,

When I really looked closely at how I lived my life before I woke up,

I mean,

Everything was overwhelmed.

If I actually was capable of slowing down enough to look at my life and where I wanted it to be and what I might need to do to get there,

It was instant overwhelm and I just shut back down because it was just like,

Oh my God.

You know,

It was like panic.

It was like,

Oh my God,

Like this is so messed up that for me to get there,

It's just,

I mean,

I can't even toss it around inside my head for more than three seconds.

Yeah.

So that's why I didn't do it very often.

I mean,

I completely understand.

I currently like,

I feel overwhelmed all the time.

This past month especially,

Like I was right before we were here,

I was in a meeting with one of our mutual friends,

Jason,

And I was telling him about how crazy September has been.

And I was like,

You know,

September,

The entire month was crazy.

And then I realized that we're not even done with it.

Yeah.

It's been,

You know,

This,

I think there's a lot going on more than just for us.

You know,

I think it's energetically,

I tend to see themes with things,

Working with clients.

It's like at the gym,

When I worked at the gym,

Personal training,

We always used to know when it was full moon coming.

Because like the social aspect of everybody would just really expand and everybody be like,

What's going on tonight?

What's going on tonight?

It would be like,

What is that?

Full moon?

Yep.

Like you find patterns when you're in the same situation for long periods of time and life coaching,

I see patterns with people.

And there's a lot going on right now.

And I think that there was kind of some opening that went on at the beginning of the month.

And it just made way for all this stuff to start,

You know,

Really going.

And we have to be,

It's like everything else,

We have to be in control of our own happiness.

You know,

Just because the floodgates have opened,

And there's a lot of stuff going on doesn't mean we have to do it all.

You know?

So we have to be in control of our own pace and monitor that.

And I think,

You know,

As most people as they work and walk on their spiritual path,

It's really actually a good sign to see our progress.

Because like a lot of times what we do is we feel overwhelmed has a certain feeling.

So if we feel overwhelmed,

We think there's something wrong with us.

You know,

But we don't slow down enough to look at like I,

You know,

I used to get overwhelmed because I had to go pick up my car,

Like from someone.

I mean,

That was like,

Now it's like I can go be doing 14 different things and manage 13 of them really well.

And the 14th pushes me towards overwhelm.

It's like that's huge progress.

You know,

So I think that those of us that are on a spiritual path and growing and expanding,

You know,

I didn't intend to come at it this way,

But I think it is an important part to look at.

Like,

Cut yourself a break.

And you know,

When you,

You know,

It's,

It's the goal isn't to never experience overwhelm.

It's to be able to function effectively without experiencing it.

If we're,

You know,

If we allow ourselves to just live unconsciously,

And if there's 30 things in front of us,

That means we have to try to do 30 things.

That's not really living consciously or realistically.

So of course,

We're going to be overwhelmed.

But if we can take a step back and go,

You know,

Wow,

I can handle a lot more than I used to.

I can navigate a lot more.

I'm actually doing really,

Really well.

I just need to realize that,

You know,

Nobody can do 30 things.

So don't put that pressure on myself to attempt to,

And really settle in,

You know,

Where I feel comfortable.

And if I want to stretch myself,

I might be able to add one or two things as long as I know it's not throwing off my balance.

And,

And so it's really actually a good,

Good way to see your own personal progress.

If we're looking at it properly.

What would you say is at the core of feeling overwhelmed?

Is it fear or anxiety or?

Yes,

And yes.

Yeah.

I mean,

Really,

You know,

Anything uncomfortable is fear based.

So,

Yes,

It's based in fear.

What flavor fear?

Yes,

It's closely related to anxiety,

Because it's about the future.

Not getting,

You know,

Everything done that we think we're supposed to.

And realistic expectations.

You know,

We don't slow down,

Like I was kind of just saying,

We don't slow down and look about what's realistic and how well we're doing.

We just think if there's 30 things to do,

And we're not doing 30,

Then there's something wrong with us.

And we just keep pushing and pushing,

You know,

It's an example of unconscious living.

So,

You know,

I think if we pull back from the anxiety and from the overwhelm,

And really give ourselves a realistic outlook,

And of course,

You know,

We can't go into overwhelm without talking about the kind of a main piece of it.

So,

A main piece of it is just that if there's something we're not doing,

Like a project we're overwhelmed by,

It's too big,

You know,

So we have to chop it down into smaller pieces.

And sometimes that's not something that we recognize right off the bat,

Because usually we're busy judging ourselves that we should be able to do whatever we're not doing.

You know,

So instead of judging ourselves,

Oh,

I should be able to do it,

I should be able to,

Instead of that,

Just realize I'm not doing it.

So,

If I'm not doing it,

Then it's too big.

And sometimes that's,

You know,

That can be a project like,

You know,

Right now I'm working on my book.

So,

It's like,

Well,

I don't have the title and the image and what the book's going to look like all figured out.

Well,

If I try figuring that all out in one shot,

I'm going to be overwhelmed.

But if I go,

Okay,

Well,

I could work on a title,

That's a few words.

And then maybe from there,

I might be able to work on a subtitle,

Or maybe the subtitle first and then the title.

Or,

You know,

Maybe I could spend some time working on the image that I would like,

Looking at other books,

Seeing if I want to know,

Like it's picking one thing,

You know,

It's not saying,

Oh,

I,

You know,

I should be able to do the cover of my own book.

Well,

No,

It's,

If I'm having trouble with that,

Then I have to chop it up into smaller pieces.

Right.

Let's just do it.

Let's focus on the title.

Okay,

How's that going?

You know,

That reminds me of when we were going through the manuscript for the book.

And I was,

I was reading it and I went and you know,

We were,

You were still like adding and subtracting content.

And I was like,

This is overwhelming for me to even look at,

Nevermind you writing.

So I took every single piece of it,

Every chapter,

Every part of the book,

And I separated them into separate documents.

And what I gave you was this massive like 40 list,

Like list of 40 documents,

But I was like,

Just focus on one little thing at a time.

You know,

Like just look at this part of the book and focus on that.

And it's,

It's so crazy because we think in the macro all the time when we're,

When we're overwhelmed,

We try to,

We try to do everything,

You know,

Every,

Like almost every day I make a gigantic to do list.

And then I get upset when I'm not like racking them off like,

And I put,

I put simple things on the to list like that do not need to be there,

So that I can like get the momentum rolling of knocking things off.

You know what I mean?

But it reminds me of a quote from a very,

Very,

Very smart man.

Zach.

I'm not even gonna say it.

I was gonna say who's that Glen Ambrose.

I'm gonna tell them.

I'm gonna say that's just way too far out there.

It is.

It is.

Unfortunately,

It is a quote from Glen Ambrose.

Which is,

That would be the funniest thing ever to say.

And then now all of a sudden you do it.

Well,

Because I because I was like,

I saw a quote about this like a week ago.

And it's,

We can never accomplish everything.

We're not supposed to.

Life is an ongoing process.

Right.

Yeah.

And it's,

You know,

That's so the the important thing is,

Is,

You know,

We,

Most of us do have to do lists.

And I don't,

You know,

I don't think that there's anything wrong with a to do list.

It's just there's something wrong with thinking that we're supposed to complete it.

It's,

You know,

It's an ongoing list.

It's a rolling list.

And I mean,

That's how it needs to be viewed.

It's,

You know,

And I mean,

I,

I have,

I mean,

I use my Google Calendar for everything.

So it's,

And I've tried different things and I haven't quite found another system that works for me as well as that does.

And it doesn't work perfectly because of the rolling list mentality.

I'm constantly moving things.

But for now,

It works the best.

And I,

You know,

I worked on that many years ago.

I was like,

Because I was the same way.

I just I never completed everything and it drove me crazy.

And I was like,

I have to shift my perspective on that.

Your goal is never to complete everything that I have on one day's list ever,

Like ever,

Ever.

If that actually happens,

I'm shocked.

And I probably don't even realize it.

I could go back and I'd be like,

Oh my God,

I think I completed everything that day.

But maybe not because I keep moving things.

But yeah,

I just don't have that mental concept that I'm supposed to finish everything.

It's just it's,

It's unrealistic.

You know,

There's there's always things for us to do.

So,

You know,

Really being realistic about what,

You know,

What we expect of ourselves is important.

Again,

It's slowing down living consciously,

Living realistically.

And if something's too big,

Chop it down into a into smaller pieces and do one thing at a time,

Non judgmentally,

You know,

We can't constantly,

We're constantly judging ourselves for,

You know,

Stuff 90 miles an hour that we didn't get done.

And we wonder why we're overwhelmed.

That's why.

Yeah.

So,

So systems,

Like you just talked about systems.

Is it like,

Find the right system for you?

Or?

Yeah,

Yeah,

I think find the right system for you.

You know,

Like pinpoint where your thinking is off and change your thinking.

So if you're if you keep telling yourself,

You know,

If you keep feeling overwhelmed,

Because you're not getting things done,

Or enough done,

You have to step back from that and go,

Is that realistic?

And you know what,

Because I mean,

Most of us are,

We don't have a problem in this society with busyness.

I mean,

You know,

We're all way too busy.

We all put way too much pressure on ourselves.

So everybody's leaning too far in one direction.

And we need to be balanced more,

If anything,

We need more downtime.

I mean,

You know,

Nobody's laying on their deathbed and going,

Thank God,

I got the laundry done exactly on the day I was supposed to every single time my entire life.

Oh,

Yes.

You know,

They're not doing that.

But they can be sitting there going,

You know,

Wow,

I didn't really enjoy my life that much.

I put too much pressure on myself to complete things,

Little day to day things that really weren't even that important.

You know,

So if we make happiness and living a joyful life a priority,

Start living a joyful life,

Make that as much of a priority as the grocery shopping.

And I'm not saying that we we don't have to go grocery shopping.

I understand we have to feed our families.

But the amount of pressure that's put on it is absurd.

Like,

So so,

You know,

Figure it out.

Like,

One thing that worked for me,

Most of the time is I stopped doing for a while I stopped doing a big grocery run,

I started picking up small things,

Small amounts on,

You know,

On squeezing in a half an hour,

Maybe once or twice a week on my way by just grabbing a few things,

As opposed to setting an hour and a half or two hours to go do one trip,

You know,

And that was helpful for a while,

Then later on,

It got easier to do one big trip,

You know,

And it's,

It's,

You know,

Being flexible,

You know,

And really going with the flow of your life and finding what works for you,

Realistically and consciously.

You covered a lot of like day to day stuff like laundry and and and grocery shopping and the stuff that we all the everybody has in common,

Everybody needs to eat everybody needs to have clean clothes,

Like,

You know,

What about when you're taking a lot on yourself,

Work wise,

Like you feel you feel like you feel overwhelmed because like you said,

Like you're trying to do the book right now on top of everything else,

You're trying to finish the book and you're trying to finish it in a timely manner so that it can go out in a timely manner.

And you have sort of deadlines on yourself and all of this stuff.

And,

You know,

You're kicking that work life balance out of whack.

And so like when you're overwhelmed with work,

How do you how do you handle that?

It's maintaining space,

My inner space,

You know,

That's the priority.

It's whenever I'm doing that,

It works well.

When I'm not doing that doesn't work well.

So it's if my inner piece is my priority,

Then I manage everything else.

When I put everything else is my priority and I allow my inner peace to suffer,

Everything gets out of whack.

So it's,

It's priorities.

It's putting my inner space first,

My peacefulness,

My happiness first,

And then doing as much as I can within that energy.

And it's when I'm doing that,

It's really not that hard.

It's like I was I was talking with somebody the other day and I was going I was like I have I fell into a space and you know,

Of my own doing of course,

Over the last month,

That's mind boggling the amount of stuff that I took on.

And it's and it's in a way it's foolish,

Of course,

And probably I probably would have leaned away from this,

But the timing just I tend to go with timing.

And the timing just all this stuff fell into my lap perfectly.

And generally,

I do things when that happens.

You know,

When sun falls in my lap,

Like effortlessly,

And the time is right,

I just do it.

So like,

I had to have some dental work done,

Which coincided with me getting dental insurance,

Which coincided with me getting vision insurance,

Which coincide we with me getting my contacts checked,

And an eye exam,

Which coincided with me getting pictures taken for my book,

Which coincided with all the aspects of my book,

Which is the title,

The,

You know,

The,

The introduction,

Learning how to write an introduction,

The the,

You know,

The content of the book,

The,

I mean,

All you know,

All the different aspects,

The bio for the book,

The,

The description for the book,

The jacket,

The,

Like,

All this stuff is going on at once,

All in line with my car getting hit and getting that fixed and some stuff going on with my son.

And some of this whole other big project of letters that I'm sending out for a particular purpose.

And it was like,

I mean,

This stuff is all stuff that's never going on.

You know,

Aside from the podcast and the business and my clients and that day to day stuff.

I mean,

The amount of stuff I have going on is absolutely absurd.

But if I'm in good space,

I'm fine with it.

Like I'm,

I'm like,

I'm talking about it right now.

And I'm completely calm,

Like I can feel it inside.

There's zero overwhelm.

I feel peaceful and happy and joyful about it all,

As I'm navigating it.

Now,

Have I been feeling like exactly like I am right now this entire month?

No,

No,

I have not.

There have been times of overwhelm.

There has been times where I've gotten knocked off and going,

Holy crap,

Man,

You know,

And this stuff took me over and I needed to pull back and go,

You know,

I'm off center,

Reprioritize,

Get back,

Get my feet back on the ground.

And then all of a sudden everything's like manageable.

Not only is it manageable,

But I can list it like I just did without feeling overwhelmed before,

Like,

Like,

I don't know,

Two weeks ago or three weeks ago.

So if I would have listed three of the things that I just listed,

I would have been filled with anxiety because I wasn't centered,

You know.

So this is,

But it's just recognizing it and going,

No,

I refuse to live it,

Live that way.

And that's such a big thing in this conversation,

As well as a lot of conversations.

It's we have to prioritize the life that we want to live.

If and make that number one priority,

If we make it the number one priority that I need to be peaceful,

Happy and joyful first,

And then whatever doesn't get done,

Somehow I'll make it.

You know,

This is one of the one of the blessings of living as a dysfunctional meathead for 20 years.

You know,

Like I can,

Like I can look at myself now and go,

Glenn,

If you are completely overwhelmed,

If you shut down,

If you do nothing for like three months,

Somehow you're still going to make it.

I mean,

You lived like that for 20 years and you somehow made it.

So like,

You can somehow survive.

Yeah,

Somehow I will be on the other side of this looking back,

Even if I completely shut down and do nothing,

Somehow I'll be on the other side of it looking back at it going,

Woo,

That was a roller coaster ride.

I can't believe I made it through that,

You know,

And of course I try not to go to that point.

But the point is,

Is everything works out.

It works out somehow.

It always does.

We don't have to put all this pressure on ourselves to push through.

Yeah.

And it was an interesting month for sure with all of that stuff going on for you and with you.

And that was a great illustration of the work.

And like when things come up in your life that you,

You know,

When especially when things come up that you chose to do A,

Knowing that you're going to go into a little bit of a state of overwhelm,

Because you didn't expect B to happen.

And then B also would bring you in that state.

So now you've completely elevated it to a higher level than you were planning on.

That can really mess with your head.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's,

And it does,

You know,

It can play,

It can play with you and it can screw things around.

And I think that the,

You know,

The biggest thing we have to do is get the pressure off.

Then we can look at things realistically,

Because as long as we're in that state of overwhelm,

Looking at things,

We tend to be unconscious.

We tend to be a little manic.

We tend to not look at things realistically.

You know,

Like if I'm,

If I'm in that manic state,

I understand that,

You know,

People listening,

If when you're in that space,

What I'm saying doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense.

You know,

Because if when I'm in that space and I go,

Well,

Glenn,

Just,

You know,

Don't go grocery shopping today.

Don't do the laundry.

My brain wants to go,

What are you crazy?

You can't stop doing that.

What are you not going to eat?

Your kid's not going to eat.

You have to eat.

You have to get groceries.

You have to do laundry.

You're going to walk around naked.

You can't walk around naked.

You'll get arrested.

You can't like that's what my brain wants to do.

If it's all wound up in that manic state,

You know,

That's why slowing down,

Centering,

Getting the pressure off and going,

You know what,

Like whatever,

What if,

What if,

What if the book doesn't get done this year?

What if it gets done two years from now?

What if,

You know,

What if I just don't do any of this stuff?

Somehow I'll make it through.

It's going to be okay.

You know,

It'll all work out.

I'll be on the other side of this all at some point.

Do I want to not do my book?

Of course not.

But if that's necessary for my peace and happiness,

That's,

That's the key is really prioritizing your peace and happiness.

That has to be the number one priority,

You know,

And then once,

Once that's your priority and say,

No,

I'm not willing to do anything.

I don't care if my entire world falls apart in the name of peace and happiness.

I'm going to be peaceful and happy first and then I'll do the rest.

And once we can get there,

All of a sudden we start seeing that being,

Being in good space and loving ourselves and being peaceful and happy and making that a priority really energizes us and makes us more capable of doing more.

If I'm in bad space,

I don't,

I'm not capable of doing that much because that overwhelm creeps in.

I tend to shut down or make things more difficult.

I don't function well in that space,

But if I'm peaceful and happy,

I can roll from one thing to another,

To another effortlessly,

Without it bothering me,

Without being overtaken by that overwhelm.

So I become more functional.

What about when you're not in control at all of a situation like an illness or a,

Like if the thing that's making you feel overwhelmed is an illness or a situation with a family member's illness or a medical condition where you have to take,

Like something where you have to either deeply take care of yourself in a way that throws your entire life into chaos or take care of someone else.

It's the same thing basically.

I mean,

You have to take care of yourself and,

And see,

This is what we think,

Our brain thinks it's,

It's one or the other.

Well,

I'm,

I'm going to take care of myself or I'm going to take care of them.

And,

And that's not what it is.

That's what I'm saying.

It's like when we take care of ourselves,

It makes us higher functioning so we can take care of other people.

But if we don't put,

If we don't take care of ourselves,

Like it's amazing what you can do just to go,

You know what?

I'm going to take,

I'm not living like this anymore.

I'm taking a half an hour in the morning to really center myself because I love myself and my happiness and my peace has to come first so I can function.

I'm taking a half an hour to do that.

And then I'm setting a reminder on my phone midday and I'm going to take a minimum of five minutes to do it again.

And then I'm setting my reminder at night when I go to bed and I'm going to do it for a minimum of five or 10 minutes again.

I'm making,

I'm taking consistent time throughout my day to just stop for a moment and recenter and really connect with myself,

Connect with my source,

Connect with my own peace and happiness.

And if we just do that,

You know,

Then all of a sudden,

So,

You know,

What I just said is like,

Let's say 30 minutes and then 10 minutes in the middle of the day and then 10 minutes at night.

So you,

That's less than an hour.

So I'm saying,

You know,

Take 40 minutes out of your life or 50 minutes out of your life.

Take one hour out of 24.

So you have 23 to do whatever you need to do,

You know,

And it's going to make a huge difference.

But what we do is we don't even give ourselves 30 minutes or five minutes or 10 minutes.

And then we wonder why we're overwhelmed.

It's like,

You know,

If you expect to be happy,

Peaceful and high functioning,

You have to do something.

You have to put some sort of energy towards achieving that.

You know,

We expect ourselves to be high functioning without putting any energy towards becoming high functioning.

I think it's Tony Robbins says,

If you don't have 10 minutes,

You don't have a life.

Like probably.

Yeah.

And there's another quote that's like,

You know,

If you don't have a half an hour to meditate,

Then meditate for an hour.

Yeah.

You know,

It's the same mentality.

It's like you the the the levels it makes you so much more higher functioning than not doing it.

And that's,

You know,

Plus it's an enjoyable ride.

I can literally sit here in the middle of everything that I just said.

And by the way,

There's several things,

One that I didn't mention and two,

Several of the things that I glossed over that are way more in depth than I'm going to go into on this podcast.

So and I can sit in the midst of all that fine.

Or I can sit in the midst of that.

Not fine and not capable like I you know,

Like I was a couple of weeks ago.

So it's you know,

But it's my choice when I recognize that I'm out of whack.

I have to hit the brakes and make my happiness and my peace my priority.

And then all of a sudden everything gets manageable.

Awesome.

And that's a great place to stop for this episode.

Wow.

I loved it.

I loved this episode.

Good.

We'll we'll share it with others then.

Good.

I hope so.

And you know,

As as for everything,

You can find it all on Glenn Ambrose calm blogs,

Vlogs,

All the podcasts,

Everything,

Video versions,

Video versions on Patreon,

Patreon.

Com.

Yep.

No,

You can you can.

Well,

We'll put up golf tips.

I have a I would need to learn how to golf.

Me too.

Better if I was going to do that.

No golf tips.

No,

He's sometimes on the video versions.

True.

There are some golf tees.

Oh,

We're idiots.

So anyway,

So yeah,

Check out Glenn Ambrose calm for all that stuff.

And of course,

Glenn is available for life coaching no matter where you are in the world.

Um,

And five questions with Glenn.

If you sign up for the emails every week that there is not a life lessons and laughter,

You get a brand new video show where Glenn answers your questions.

And if you have questions for Glenn,

Email them Glenn at Glenn Ambrose calm.

Send them in.

Yeah,

We did that last week.

And it was awesome.

So yeah,

Send them in.

So we'd love to have them for that.

And sometimes a lot of times,

Actually,

People ask a question and then we do an entire podcast on them because there's just so much to uncover.

Um,

So thanks,

Glenn.

Thanks,

Ben.

All right,

All thanks for listening.

And we will talk with you soon.

Hey guys,

This is Ben.

Check out Glenn's new book down to earth,

The spiritual beings guide to a happy human experience.

It's now available for pre order.

You can get digital copies,

Paperback copies,

Signed copies,

And there's a whole bunch of perks over at Indiegogo.

You can check all of that out at Glenn Ambrose.

Com.

Reviews

Thank you Glenn, very inspiring, simple and clear steps to take.
Massimo

Hi Glenn, just listened to your podcast. loved loved it. My peace and happiness is finally coming first. Thank you for being you. I am giving myself time to come back to peace every day. have a great day! Robin

Loved it. So glad I found this podcast randomly.

This was very helpful going into the New Year!

Just what I needed to hear, the timing was perfect, thank you 🙏

Really useful tips thanks Glenn and Ben 💜 x

Really helpful- especially the last 5-10 minutes when things are really simplified. Thank you!

Great talk! Good points made! Thank you!

So valuable to remember and live by! Definitely bookmarked!

Great stuff! You seem to verbalize my thinking! Glad I didn't put Africa on that To Do list!

Actually was helpful. The perspective was exactly what I needed to realize I needed to take things in bite size pieces more often. Thanks Glenn. Namaste

Your best podcast in a long while. Your message was helpful, clear and particularly relevant in the present. Thank you. I am now away to exercise for 30 minutes as I don't have 15! So happy to also hear you talking WITH the audience. May you stay well and at home in the world.

Such valuable duplicatable insight. I love that you share your lived experiences. Thank you 💕