No Rights, No Preferences

In this episode I dive into our "rights", what we feel we have a right to. Also our preferences and how they control how we live. Our attachments are the things that we are putting above our spiritual connection with our Creator. What would happen if we let them go? Who would we become? What does the letting go look like? Join me in the deep dive into these questions.

Transcript

Welcome to Life Lessons and Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hey,

Everybody.

Welcome to the show.

So let's dive right in.

I think I usually dive right in.

Let's dive right in again.

Um,

So,

So today.

I wanted to talk to you guys about.

Rights and preferences.

And I'm going to preface this by saying like,

We have to give up what we perceive as our rights to things.

This,

This,

Um,

Entitlement.

And I don't mean entitlement in a way that,

Um,

Like the younger generation is off often,

Um,

Criticized for feeling entitled.

Um,

And the,

The,

There's some truth to it,

But when I talk about that subject,

Often I say,

Okay,

Well,

You know,

What are they entitled to that they would like to have,

Um,

Decent pay so they can afford a home or at least an apartment,

You know,

Not necessarily a house,

But at least in a,

A decent apartment.

And,

Um,

A vacation and to be able to drive a car without stressing out about paying their bills.

That's seems like a reasonable ask for society.

I don't think people should have to work for 10 or 20 years to stop suffering.

Um,

So in that way,

Like I say,

Well,

Oh,

That,

You know,

That,

Hey,

There,

They just want good things in their life.

There's nothing wrong with wanting good things in their life.

Um,

It's just what I'm talking about here is the attachment.

Okay.

So,

So I'm going to need you to kind of journey with me a little bit,

You know,

Because I'm talking about things at a deep level.

And if you're trying to intellectually understand them on a surface level,

Your ego is going to come up with all kinds of,

Um,

Alternative ways of looking at things in disagreement,

Quite honestly.

Um,

Because the ego is trying to protect itself and it's trying to protect its mind made,

Uh,

Perceptions and ways of interacting with society.

And I'm challenging all those.

So you're,

So,

You know,

You gotta go a level deeper and try to absorb this.

You can even honestly put some attention on your heart and you'll find that you can actually understand things on a deep level,

Taking in information through your heart,

As opposed to through your brain.

It's,

It's actually very interesting.

Play around with that sometimes.

Uh,

But back to the topic.

So,

So it's,

It's,

Um,

You know,

Words are just signposts that pointers towards something.

Also keep that in mind as we're talking deeper,

Because you've got to think deeper to,

If you're going to understand what I'm saying,

Once you understand what I'm saying,

Then you can decide whether you agree with it or not,

But you've got to go underneath that ego.

So when I say,

You know,

We have to let go of our preferences,

Our,

Our,

What we perceive as our rights,

It's basically what I'm saying is we have to let go of the attachment to them.

Okay.

So,

So it's not that we're never going to have preferences.

It's not that where,

You know,

We're going to stop liking pepperoni pizza because we just have no preferences.

And,

You know,

This is a thing that the ego uses to keep us stuck.

What it is is if,

If you notice that,

Like,

If you,

If you contemplate,

Wow,

I didn't know I was going to talk about it this way.

If you talk about your preferences,

Um,

Like and letting them go,

There is a certain level of fear that arises a little apprehension,

A little anxiety that arises,

Letting go of our fear,

Our preferences.

Why,

Why does that incur fear?

Why does that bubble up fear inside of us a little apprehension in our chest?

Why does it,

Why does it do that?

And it's because it's the death of the ego.

It's a death of an aspect of ourselves.

We perceive our preferences as part of who we are.

So if I come in here and say,

Hey,

You need to let go of those.

The first thing that ego does is go,

Whoa,

Wait a minute now.

Wait a minute.

Who am I going to be?

If I let go of my preferences,

I'm not going to have any preferences.

I'm not going to care about anything.

And then,

You know,

Again,

That's not true,

But this is what our ego says.

What,

Uh,

You know,

Who,

Who would I be?

I'm going to waffle around,

Just not giving a crap about anything.

And it's,

Uh,

And,

And,

You know,

I'll end up homeless in the streets because I don't care about anything and laying around,

You know,

And it creates this fantastic delusional reality that you're going to turn into.

If you risk letting go of your preferences and it will do that with just about it.

When you,

When you threaten to let go of any other aspect of your ego.

And that fear can go really deep,

Like insanely deep,

Like deep to levels that people don't even realize because we are identified with our ego as who we are and our preferences are part of that.

So it can literally be as scary as death because it is a form of death.

It's the death of the ego.

And I don't know how,

If people truly understand what that is,

Like it literally,

And I know I'm going to say literally,

And people use literally too often,

Um,

And I'm going to say it and you're still not going to get it.

I mean,

Some will,

Um,

But it is literally like a death when you die,

When your ego dies off,

It can,

And often sometimes does literally feel like you're dying,

Sometimes you will have the physical pain as if you were dying.

Um,

You'll definitely have the mental and emotional pain apprehension as if you were actually dying.

Why?

Because that's how identified we are with our ego.

That's who we think we are.

So it triggers,

You literally think you're dying because everything you know yourself to be is dying.

So everything mentally,

Emotionally,

That would be triggered in a physical death will be triggered in an egoic death because it thinks it's a physical death.

It's who you are identified as being.

So for all intensive purposes,

It's a literal death when your ego dies off.

Now,

Of course you can take portions of that.

Like,

Uh,

I don't know how to explain this,

But like,

Let's say 25% of your ego dies.

Well,

You know,

Who knows?

You might,

You,

You might,

This is all can vary depending on the circumstances and,

Um,

And the person themselves,

But you might experience 25% of what it would be like to die physically if 25% of your ego dies off or your ego might decide to make a stand and say,

No,

This is completely who I am.

So it doesn't matter if only 25% of your ego is dying.

It will feel like a hundred percent of a death,

Physical death.

Maybe,

You know,

It can,

There's variances all in there and I've experienced different variances of those.

So this is why it can be so fearful and treacherous to do this.

It sounds like,

You know,

Uh,

You know,

I'm talking about,

Oh,

Well,

We'll let go of our preferences.

We'll let go of our rights.

We'll let go of,

Uh,

You know,

Uh,

Our attachments and stuff like that.

And people like,

Oh,

Wow.

That sounds like a neat,

Like interesting spiritual,

Uh,

Angle to come at.

You know,

I think I'll listen to this.

Um,

It's,

It's not up here in this knowledge,

Intellectual knowledge area.

It's deeper than that.

So when,

When we're,

So,

You know,

That's kind of the explanation of the,

Of the fear and all this stuff.

If you let go of your preferences,

You're not going to turn into this zombie robot floating around,

Just not knowing you're still going to like pepperoni pizza.

If you like pepperoni pizza,

You're,

You're still,

If you're trying to get somewhere,

You would still have a preference of no traffic as opposed to traffic.

It's just not going to take you down.

It's not going to own you.

It's not going to overwhelm you.

It's not going to cause your emotions to go off on a tangent.

You'll stay calm.

You won't be overtaken by the anger or the frustration or the anxiety,

And you'll just sit there and you'll see it for what it is.

So it's like,

Okay,

Uh,

I'm stuck in traffic.

Well,

Of course I would prefer to not be stuck in traffic because I'm supposed to meet somebody at a particular time and it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to.

Accomplish that.

Okay.

Is there anything I can do about it?

Well,

I could message the person and let them know.

Anything else?

Nope.

Okay.

And then you message the person,

You let them know,

And then you sit in traffic and you're just as peaceful sitting in the traffic as if you were sitting in your living room because there's really no difference.

You're just sitting somewhere different.

See,

You know,

This is where we're trying to get to,

And this is how we can get there.

It's by letting go of our preferences.

So,

So like I said,

You know,

The,

I still have a preference that I wasn't sitting in traffic because I'm supposed to meet somebody,

But then once I worked through that one,

It doesn't overtake me.

I don't experience a bunch of fear,

Uh,

And,

And frustration and worry.

And I don't pump all those negative toxins through my body,

Um,

By,

By putting that,

Those,

That stress on myself,

Because that's what we're doing.

We're doing that to ourselves.

We,

We,

You know,

We're like,

Oh no,

It's the traffic's fault.

Okay.

Yeah,

That makes sense.

It's,

It's like kicking a coffee table,

Hurting your foot and then blaming the coffee table.

It's like,

Um,

So sitting in traffic,

It's funny.

I'd just use that example.

That's that's I literally,

My son literally did that a couple of times when his ego was developing when he was young.

You know,

It was just like,

He took the coffee table,

You know,

Accidentally and then get really mad at the coffee table.

And it's like the coffee table didn't do anything.

It was just sitting there.

Right.

It's like,

Yeah,

But the ego wants to protect itself.

So it wants to project blame onto something else and it wants to feel righteous.

So it does all that.

And then we get,

We walk around all upset and that's what we're trying to avoid.

We're trying to get to a place where we're not walking through life,

Upset all the time.

That's all because it doesn't change anything.

It just wrecks our experience with life.

So letting go of our preferences,

Our attachment to our preferences.

So,

Like I said,

We,

We still wish,

Uh,

You know,

Hey,

If I had my choice,

I wouldn't be sitting in traffic,

But that's not life.

I just,

I'm sitting in traffic and there's nothing I can do about it.

Okay.

So we still have a preference of,

I would rather not be sitting in traffic,

But we're not attached to it.

It doesn't determine whether we're happy or whether we're sad or whether we're angry because there's no attachment.

We're just like,

Well,

Sure.

I'd like there to be no traffic,

But there is,

So it is what it is.

That's letting go of our preferences.

That's what I'm talking about.

When I'm talking about this,

It's not that I don't have any preferences whatsoever.

It's just that I'm not attached to them in a way that they are going to impede on my happiness or my peace or my joy.

If life doesn't go that particular way in that particular moment,

That's all,

That's all we're doing,

You know?

So hopefully that can kind of,

Um,

Minimize the fear,

I guess,

Minimize the ego jumping up and going,

Hey,

Don't do that.

You're going to turn into a zombie.

Uh,

That's not what we're talking about.

So,

So it's letting go of our preferences,

Our attachment to our preferences.

That's what's so important.

And how do we do that?

Well,

By trying to let go of our preferences in general is going to be part of it.

You know,

It's hard to have preferences,

But then carve out the attachment to them.

You know,

It's easier to just practice letting go of your,

Uh,

Preferences and then you'll,

You'll find you still have them.

Like we're not talking about giving you a lobotomy where you can't think anymore.

You go,

Oh,

I used to like pepperoni pizza.

Now no like pepperoni pizza problem.

Like it's,

It's not,

Have you ever seen anybody spiritual that walks around like that?

You know,

No.

Like,

Why do people even have an interest in spirituality?

Um,

You know,

Other than their own suffering,

It's because you look at people and they look pretty damn peaceful.

That's why.

And you're not.

So you're like,

Geez,

I,

I kind of,

That holds some intrigue to me.

I w I think I might want to walk through life peaceful.

Right.

They're not walking around going,

Uh,

You know,

And now that there are some people walking around,

Walking around like that,

But that's not like,

That's not spirituality,

That's not,

That's not a relationship with their creator.

That's a,

You know,

That that's a psychotic episode that,

That is,

And,

And sometimes they take religious form.

You know,

I,

I've,

I saw that when I was in,

Um,

The program of recovery,

You know,

Like,

Um,

When the light comes on in somebody's eyes,

It's absolutely beautiful.

It's,

You know,

When somebody like just opens up to a true relationship with their creator.

It's,

It's,

It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Um,

However,

Sometimes,

Occasionally I would see people who fell into a particular religion,

Um,

And had like a religious experience and that I've seen it with religion and spirituality mesh together.

So like religion has a lot of dogma to it,

But it still can be a beautiful pathway to,

To God,

To your creator.

And to me,

That's what happens when you,

When your spirituality and your religion are meshed together.

When they both have the common goal of being one with the creator and having a personal experience with your creator,

As opposed to just being a.

Kind of like a fanatic or,

Or,

Or militant,

Um,

Churchgoer where you just like,

Like you dive into the dogma and the dogma is more important than your relationship with your creator.

That to me is just dysfunctional religion.

It's not using religion for the purpose that it was meant to,

That it's therefore,

Um,

When you mesh spirituality and religion,

That's when I think you're using religion properly and it enhances your,

Your personal relationship with your creator.

So I've seen people have these religious experiences with no spirituality and you look in there like that,

They're,

They're running around and their energy is way up here.

Like,

Like my energy,

When I woke up spiritually,

My energy was very high and I was sleeping like four or five hours a night and it was a very interesting time.

But that's not what I'm talking about that.

Like I had a spiritual awakening,

There was no religious dogma attached to it.

Um,

And like I said,

You,

You can have religious dogma attached to your spiritual awakening,

But if you have the religious dogma only without the spirituality,

Without the true connection to your creator,

That's when he,

That's when it's kind of like more like a psychotic episode,

Quite honestly.

It's,

It's this delusional,

Like,

I think,

I believe what happens is we connect to this,

This collective energy of,

Of this dogma,

Not actually real.

And I've seen people like that.

And it's not that they have,

Like I said,

I had high energy,

But it was like,

Uh,

It wasn't so out of control that I was unmanageable.

Like I,

I could still hold normal conversations and stuff.

And,

You know,

Sometimes they would take a direction that was more spiritual than possibly appropriate for the person I was talking to,

But I wasn't out of my mind and delusional.

I've seen people have these religious epiphanies where it was just completely delusional and they ride this energy.

That's really high.

And you can tell it's not real.

It's just too erratic.

It's too manic.

It's just,

They're,

They're nuts.

And they're like,

Oh,

But I found Jesus or I found God or I found Allah or whatever religion that,

That,

You know,

Um,

They,

They attach to and,

And they're,

They're nuts,

Like they're,

They're completely out of their mind.

Those people I see crash,

You know,

And,

And again,

Now this is completely different.

I'm not saying that you can't have a spiritual awakening through a religion.

You absolutely can.

You know,

Like I've seen people,

Um,

Where their hearts opened and they've been the,

This just beautiful,

Beautiful spiritual awakenings through Christianity,

Through,

Um,

Hinduism through Buddhism,

Um,

Through,

Um,

Islam,

Like where they,

Where they opened up and connected to their creator.

And it was just absolutely beautiful,

You know,

And,

And they're going,

Jesus Christ is my personal savior.

And I'm like,

That's beautiful,

Man,

Because you can feel it's real.

It's like,

It's just,

It's this deep connection and that's the path that they're using and,

And the,

The philosophy that they're using to connect to the one God and,

And it's clicking with them and it's real and it's deep and it's beautiful.

So those are good.

I'm just talking about the manic ones.

You know,

Sometimes the last,

I don't know,

Usually like couple of weeks,

You can,

Like,

You can't fly high on that energy for,

For,

For too long because it's just manic and it's not real.

It's not actually from the creator.

It's just this manic collective energy that they've attached to.

And,

And it's,

You know,

It's morphing the way that,

That,

That they're looking at reality.

So then when the crash hits,

It's usually extremely ugly.

So I did see that happen.

And I just kind of wanted to let you guys know that I guess that there's a difference,

You know,

That,

That,

That,

That happens sometimes.

So,

Um,

So when you see,

Like,

When you see people do that,

Like what we have a tendency to do is group everything together.

So we're like,

Oh,

We saw somebody go fly high and then crash.

And then therefore these awakenings can't be real.

And they don't know that,

That,

That's just somebody,

It wasn't what you're seeking.

It wasn't a real spiritual awakening.

Like people that have true spiritual awakenings,

They don't,

They don't have a crash like that.

It's,

You know,

There's just this overwhelming peace.

And if you just slow down and let go of your own fears and your own mental perceptions,

And you just tune into them and you just kind of just,

Just tune into them,

Man,

Like we can read energy way better than we think we can.

If we're calm and our energy is calm and we're looking at that,

Somebody that's behaving in a particular way,

It's very easy to tell whether they're very calm,

Like that they actually had a spiritual awakening or if they're one of,

Or if they're on one of these delusional tracks,

It's,

It's really not hard because the energy is completely different.

No.

So it doesn't really have to be confusing.

Like sometimes people,

People have asked me,

I haven't talked about this too much in a while,

But people have asked me over the years,

How,

How easy it is or how difficult it is to,

For me to tell either where somebody is spiritually,

As far as.

If like,

If they're ready to work with me or if,

Um,

If I can tell talking to somebody,

If they're really spiritually connected or if it's just kind of an identity that they're playing and it's so easy.

It's so easy to tell if somebody that can't,

Can work with me,

Like if they're open enough and they're ready,

All you got to do is just,

If what I'm saying is making sense to people,

If they,

They're like,

Oh yeah,

I understand what you mean.

Oh yeah.

Oh,

Okay.

Oh,

Wow.

Okay.

I see how you,

You're talking about that.

What if you're,

If you're bobbleheading and saying yes to the things that I'm saying,

Then you're ready to do the work.

It's that simple.

Because prior to that,

When,

When,

When somebody is speaking spiritual truths,

You're looking at them going,

Huh?

Like you,

You either don't understand it at all,

Or you,

You completely disagree with it,

This thing,

Disagreeing with it.

Isn't always the worst though.

Like when,

Especially when it's a little harder in,

Um,

Life coaching than it was sponsoring people in recovery,

Because sponsoring people in recovery,

They don't really have another choice.

And,

And that's pretty obvious.

Like nobody goes to AA because they're bored.

Like,

You know,

They go because they're suffering.

Right.

So usually,

So people that some of the people that challenged me the most when I was taking them through the spiritual text of the big book and,

And,

And teaching them,

Um,

The,

The 12 steps and having them take them on the way through and,

You know,

Teaching them how to live their life differently on spiritual terms.

Sometimes the people who challenged me the most and were the most skeptical were the ones that got it because they were,

They were dealing with all the ego that was popping up and they were dealing with all the objections that they had to the information.

So then once,

If they,

They were able,

You know,

Some just put up a wall and just gave you a hard time about everything that obviously doesn't go anywhere.

But some of those people,

Even as much as they were kicking and screaming and fighting against everything,

There was a part of them that was open,

Taking it in too.

And those are the people often,

Those were the people that got it because.

Because they fought through all their objections,

They worked through them,

You know,

Whereas some people that were just nodding their heads in agreement,

Even though they didn't,

You know,

It wasn't landing,

They might not have gotten it.

Maybe they should have challenged some things.

Right.

So,

But that,

Like I said,

That works a little bit better in recovery because people are at such a low bottom.

Whereas normal in life coaching people,

It's easier for people to go,

Well,

My life's not completely destroyed,

So I don't need Glenn's advice.

I don't need to become a different person.

I could just meander through life the way that I am.

So those people,

If they're constantly challenging you all the time,

A lot of times it's not,

Um,

It's not,

It's not an attempt to work through it and they don't have the stick to it,

Have Ness enough because of a low bottom to continue working and push through all those objections.

So with life coaching,

A lot of times there's less objections and more openness.

You know,

People have to get to a point where they're ready.

So,

All right.

That was a little bit of a tangent there,

Maybe a big tangent,

Uh,

Who knows,

But,

Uh,

I want to get back more specifically on topic.

Although I know that all this stuff plays a part and hopefully is going to help it land better.

So letting go of our attachment to our preferences.

And the other thing I put in the title is no rights,

No power.

Preferences,

Right?

So no rights.

And the reason I put that in there was because I was just reading this post earlier,

Um,

By Muji.

I'm not even sure if that's how you pronounce it,

But he's great.

Um,

And so I wanted to,

Like,

You know,

It was just a different way of phrasing things that I really liked.

So I'm going to read some of it.

And then I'll expand on it.

Um,

So he says,

If you want to go to the end,

Give up the feeling that you have any rights in life.

You don't own any rights.

Don't own the right to anything.

So everything is just a gift when you deserve nothing.

Everything is a gift.

Right.

So we're like,

Think about what drags us down.

What pulls us down in life.

A lot of times it's when we think things aren't fair,

You know,

And we rationalize them and look at it.

And,

And,

Um,

You know,

Think about like when somebody gets in,

When you get into an argument with somebody else and it's really clear that you're right.

The more right you are,

The more just basic,

Right.

You are the more right.

You feel you have to be upset.

So the more upset you get.

Right.

So like,

If,

If you're arguing with somebody and it's like,

Well,

You know,

I'll stick with the pizza thing.

If you're arguing with somebody and they,

And you say,

I like pepperoni pizza and they say,

Well,

I like,

Uh,

Green pepper on my pizza.

Like that,

That's kind of obviously preference.

Yeah.

You might be able to play around with it a little bit more and go,

Well,

No green pepper is better because it's a vegetable.

So therefore it gives you nutrients and blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

Like you can,

You can take it further if you,

If,

If you want to just argue,

But at the end of the day,

It's kind of clear that those are just preferences and it doesn't really matter.

One person might like one thing and one person might like another thing.

So usually people don't get that upset over that type of.

We'll call it a disagreement or a difference of preferences.

Right.

But if you have something that is like,

Uh,

Something that's really basic,

Like,

You know,

Um,

Somebody that calls you a jerk for no apparent reason.

And you're like,

Listen,

I,

I,

I didn't do anything wrong.

I didn't do anything to you.

So just please don't call me a jerk.

And they're like,

I'll call you whatever I want.

Jerk.

Well,

Now you didn't do anything.

There's really no reason for somebody to be calling you a jerk.

So there's a good chance that you're going to get pretty upset about that.

Why?

Because you are more right in that situation.

It's clearer that the other person calling you a jerk for no reason is probably in the wrong and you're probably in the right.

And if you polled a million people,

Probably most of them are going to say,

Yes,

You're right.

They shouldn't call you a jerk for no apparent reason.

That's socially acceptable that,

That it's,

It's,

It's society accepts as a general rule.

That's that,

That is inappropriate.

Right.

So you have more of an attachment to it.

I,

I,

But it's just,

I have the right to walk down the street and not be called a jerk,

You know,

And,

And we'll,

We'll bring it down to the basics to make it really clear that we're right.

And the other person is wrong.

And therefore we have more of a right to be upset.

It's very obvious that we should be upset.

We have to justify how upset we are.

If you were going through this,

You would be upset as well.

Right.

And if I get caught up into it,

Man,

I'm beautiful at this.

Right.

But when I'm not caught up into it and then somebody tries to bring me in and they're like,

Well,

Glenn,

No,

If,

If this person called you a jerk,

Then you would be upset too.

And if I'm centered,

Like,

No,

I wouldn't.

I wouldn't because I don't believe it.

It's not a part of me that believes.

That what they're saying might be true.

So it does,

It doesn't,

I'm not less of a person because they called me a jerk.

What,

Why,

Why would I trigger my emotions to get all upset over something that I'm not in control of?

I can't control whether they call me a jerk or whether they don't.

And I don't agree with them that I'm a jerk.

So it's not hurting my ego.

It's not hurting me.

I know I'm not.

So they can say whatever they want.

I don't need to get upset.

See,

The reason we get upset is because we're trying to protect our ego.

Our mind made self,

Our mind made self says we're a good person.

We want to be a good person.

Everybody does.

So when somebody calls us a jerk and that's not a good person,

It's,

Oh,

You attacked who I think I am.

But if you know,

You're more than that and you're not attached to your ego,

I egoic identity,

Then it doesn't hurt.

You see,

So this is all about letting go of our preferences and all of our rights.

So if,

You know,

Again,

Look at the print,

Look,

Look at the principle underneath.

As I'm sharing this stuff,

Don't let yourself drift back up to a surfacy thing with all your egoic objections.

Go on and eat them.

And like one of the parts that I really liked is everything is a gift when you deserve nothing.

Contemplate that for a moment.

I don't deserve anything.

I don't deserve people to treat me with respect.

I don't deserve,

Um,

A ton of money.

I don't deserve to eat food.

I don't deserve to have shelter.

I don't deserve to have clothes.

I don't deserve it.

It's not my right.

There's not something wrong with the universe.

What does this mean?

You know,

This is what I mean by contemplating it.

What does it mean?

Well,

It means that I don't have an unalienable right to this stuff.

Like it means that if I don't have some of this stuff,

Like if,

If I have people that call me a jerk sometimes,

Or if I get stuck in traffic sometimes,

Or,

Or if,

If I don't have food sometimes,

It doesn't mean that there's something wrong with the universe.

It doesn't mean that there's something wrong with life.

It doesn't mean that I'm a victim of life.

It just means that I don't have some food at that particular moment.

Now,

Most of us don't have to deal with that.

Not having food at the moment.

Right.

But we can use it even with that.

You know,

Maybe I should use an example.

That's a little more relatable,

You know,

Like,

Oh,

I deserve a raise.

No,

You don't.

You know,

Deserving puts an attachment to it.

We don't deserve a raise.

We can think that we can think that a raise is appropriate.

So here's the difference.

So let's use that raise thing.

So if I think that a raise would be appropriate,

Let's say,

You know,

I'll make up some hypothetical scenario and,

You know,

Let's say I've been out of job for five years,

I'm doing a really good job and,

And,

You know,

And they've,

Let's say they've even told me,

Hey,

You're going to get a raise if you do a good job.

Oh,

Okay.

So then I'm doing a good job and,

And,

And I'm sitting there and I go,

Well,

I deserve a raise.

That means I'm attached to it.

And if I don't get it,

There's something wrong going on.

Right.

And that's not necessarily what it means.

It doesn't mean that life's being unfair to you.

It doesn't even necessarily mean the boss is being unfair to you.

It doesn't mean the company is being unfair to you.

They don't have to give you a raise.

There's not something wrong if they don't give you a raise.

Right.

So now,

I mean,

Don't get me wrong.

Let's say I,

Let's say I go to the boss and I say,

Hey,

You know,

You had mentioned that raise and I've been doing a really good job and I was wondering if I could get that raise,

Nothing wrong with that.

That doesn't mean you're attached to it.

It just means you're asking for something that you want.

Beautiful.

Good.

And then the boss says,

No,

You know,

Sorry,

Things are tight.

Uh,

We can't give you the raise.

Okay.

Well,

That's,

That's a business.

They have the right,

The right,

Right.

That they,

They have the ability to choose whatever they think is best for their business.

So like,

Let's say,

Hypothetically,

Again,

They look at the numbers and they go,

You know,

What,

What are our job here in this business is to make profit.

So like,

Um,

We're going to make more profit if we keep this person at the same pay rate they are now,

Because I don't think they'll do anything.

And then we'll just make more profit or,

You know,

We,

We,

Our profits dropped recently,

So,

Uh,

For other reasons.

So now we don't have the extra money to give the raise.

Let's say it's one of those two.

They,

They can decide that doesn't mean that there's something wrong in life.

Everybody has the right to make whatever choices they want to make.

That's just how life is,

You know,

And you have an agreement.

And so then you go,

Let's say you upscale it and I'm trying to show you like the different levels of this.

So let's say you upscale it and you go,

Okay,

Well,

You know,

You said you were going to give me a raise,

But now you're,

You know,

You say you can't give me a raise.

So for me to continue working here to make it beneficial for me,

Then I would need to have that raise.

So you either give me the raise or else I'm going to leave.

Of course you want to say it nicer than that,

But,

Um,

Now all of a sudden the business has another decision to make,

They have more information so they can go,

Well,

This person does make us a lot of money because they work really hard and it's hard to find good employees and then to train them so it would be.

It would be worth it to us for us to give them a little raise and keep them.

And that would be better for our profits because let's face it.

This is usually the decision that the,

The mentality that,

That people use to make decisions.

Unless it's strictly about power and control,

Which if it is,

You might want to leave that company anyway.

Uh,

But so,

So they go,

Oh,

Okay.

So we would actually,

Our profits would actually be better if we gave this person a raise than if we allowed them to go,

Paid somebody else,

Tried to train them and blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

So yeah,

We are going to give them a raise.

Oh,

Okay.

Then you get the raise.

That's just an agreement.

It doesn't mean like you have a right to it or you don't have a right to it,

Or it's appropriate to get upset if you get it,

Or it's appropriate not to get upset about it,

It's just a factual experience of life,

There's no right.

Wrong.

There's no,

Um,

It's,

It's just that the company can be like,

No,

Like if we're going to pay you this much to do this job,

If you want more than you're going to have to leave and try to find it elsewhere,

Cause we're not doing it.

They can do that.

Anybody can do anything.

We don't have a right to something.

It's just an agreement.

So they can agree to give you more money or they can disagree and not give you more money.

It doesn't mean that there's something wrong and that it's appropriate to be upset.

You just go,

Okay,

When,

If I work here,

If I continue working here,

I will be getting this amount of money that they,

They just,

I asked them for more and they refuse so that that's the reality of the situation.

So if I want more money to be doing this job,

I need to find a different company that's willing to pay me more money to do the same job.

I guess I'll stop looking.

And then you look around,

See if you can find it and maybe you can.

Right.

So that's dealing with things factually when just as they are just reality.

Not see when we're attached to our rights and everything,

It triggers our emotion.

Why does it trigger our emotion?

Because we feel we've been wronged.

If we don't have any rights,

Then how can we be wronged?

You see what I mean?

That's why it changes the dynamic of everything.

It changes.

If I have a right to something and then I don't get that,

Then there's something inherently with the universe because I didn't get what I was supposed to get.

And that's a problem in itself.

Now all of a sudden we're slipping into victim mentality because we're like,

The life is doing things to me or this company is doing things to me that I don't deserve that aren't fair and I'm being punished and I've done nothing wrong.

So therefore I'm a victim.

Like,

And that's the beginning of the end,

Like the sitting in victim mentality.

We have to get out of victim mentality totally if we expect to have any level of happiness,

That's like step one of the spiritual journey is getting out of victim mentality.

And this is basically all what I'm talking about is getting out of victim mentality.

If you have no preferences and no rights,

Then how can you be in victim mentality?

Right.

So so it's it's the difference between going,

Oh,

My God,

They've wronged me.

It's not fair.

This is horrible.

And it triggering all those emotions.

Because this person has power over you and they're not using that power they have over you appropriately.

The universe or life is denying you what you so rightfully deserve.

Rightfully deserve.

And,

You know,

And so we're a victim,

Victim,

Emotion,

Emotion,

Whereas if we just get rid of the victim mentality,

We get out of the preferences and our rights and all this stuff.

And we just look at it factually.

We just go,

OK,

Well,

The business and or the boss has the right to make whatever choices they make.

I can't climb inside of them.

There's no rule that says that they they have to give you a raise after a certain period of time.

And even if there was,

They could just rip it up and change the rule.

Like it's not really a rule of life.

Like there's no spiritual law that makes that true in every situation.

So the attachment to it is unrealistic.

So if there's not an attachment to it,

We just look at it factually and we go,

OK,

Well,

I'm in agreement for them to pay me money and do this job.

They're paying me money and they're doing this job,

But I want more money.

OK,

That's OK if you want more money,

But you ask them and they're not going to give it to you.

So you got to look elsewhere.

That's all.

It's not right or wrong.

It's not I'm a victim.

It's just.

How do I get what I want?

They've told me that they're not going to give me what I want.

But excuse me.

As long as I'm working here,

I'm probably not going to from what they've said,

I'm not going to get what I think is fair.

OK,

Well,

Go seek it elsewhere,

But it's not an emotional unfairness thing.

It's not like.

I just think that this is what's appropriate.

But I'm not attached to it.

My emotions aren't attached to it.

I'm not a victim of it.

It's just a life circumstance.

That's it.

There's no difference between that scenario and going.

You know,

Oh,

I can't wait till I get to the grocery store,

I'm going to pick up a pack of that gum that's near the cash register.

And then getting there and there's no gum at the cash register like most people aren't going to fall into victim mode for that.

They're going to be like,

Oh,

Must have ran out of gum.

Maybe I'll check one of the other cash registers because I really want it.

Oh,

None there.

Oh,

Well,

I guess I don't get gum today.

It's not that big of a deal unless we're attached to that gum.

Right,

It's our attachment to everything,

That's why this is so powerful.

So if I don't own the rights to anything and I don't deserve any particular thing,

Then everything is a gift.

That's the other side.

See,

This is,

You know,

There's a chapter in my book about spider webs into goodness.

And it's like,

This is this is one of my favorite things about spirituality is when you dive into things and you start implementing them,

You see that they spider web with other goodness.

So it's like here we are talking about,

You know,

We're talking about,

You know,

I deserve nothing.

You know,

No preferences,

No attachments to all that stuff.

And then you look at the other side of that,

Well,

Where do you land when you have no attachments to anything?

Well,

Then everything is a gift.

Everything,

Because you don't expect something,

You don't have an attachment to something,

You're not assuming something is going to be a particular way or else life is wrong,

You're just like,

Oh,

My God,

I get something that I like.

What a what a gift.

What a joy.

What a blessing.

Oh,

I get to eat today.

Oh,

Wow.

What a blessing.

You know,

This is one of the things that,

You know,

I've seen and heard for many years.

It's that people who are truly spiritual embody particular things.

And,

You know,

Beckwith was talking about it recently also.

And,

You know,

And it's it's like they forgive very quickly.

Everything is a blessing.

They take for granted nothing.

You know,

Like every little thing is a gift.

This is why,

Because they don't have an attachment to the way things are supposed to be,

So they're not getting knocked around all the time.

But on the other side of that coin,

It's the same coin.

The other side of that coin.

This is the beauty of living in a dualistic reality.

Everything has two sides.

And the spiritual coin is good on both sides.

Like everything is dual.

So and spirituality is just good,

There's no good and bad,

There's no bad side to spirituality,

There's no bad side to God.

Like God isn't good half the time and bad half the time,

God is just good.

So when you're looking at a spiritual coin that has two sides of good,

It's a win win for everyone.

There's no sacrifice needed.

It's just total expansion.

Right,

Whereas on the earthly plane,

The transitory reality that we that we live in,

Then everything is dualistic,

Good and bad,

There's a good side and there's a bad side.

You know,

The way you the way you transcend that and get to to interacting with life in a spiritual perspective,

So you're not dealing with this bad side all the time is to stop labeling things.

Again,

This bleeds right into what we're talking about,

You know,

Like nothing is good or bad,

It's just us to us putting a label on it and our thoughts saying,

Oh,

That's bad.

Oh,

Well,

Then it's bad.

It's not necessarily bad,

It's just something that's happening,

And there's actually benefits that can come out of whatever that is.

Whatever suffering you're seeing,

It's possible,

You know,

If we're looking at life from an eternal perspective,

Which is spiritual,

We look at it and we see people suffering like,

OK,

Like me being an alcoholic for 20 years,

You know,

Like and other people have even more obvious and dramatic suffering than that on the physical realm.

But we'll just use that for an example,

Me being an alcoholic for 20 years and suffering.

It's like you look at that,

You know,

I'm hurting myself,

I'm hurting those around me,

Even hurting society,

Honestly,

Because I'm not a productive member of it.

You know,

I'm sucking from it instead of adding to life.

So therefore,

You know,

You look at that and it's like,

Well,

That's just bad.

Not if it induces a spiritual awakening.

Not if I have to go through 20 years of that and then I get to live the rest of my life,

You know,

Through spiritual terms because of that suffering and induced a spiritual awakening.

Oh,

Well,

Then.

Right.

And everything's like that.

If we use it for good,

Then it can be good.

You know,

We see people starving and war on the other side of the world or where we are,

Perhaps.

And we go,

Oh,

My God,

That's bad.

Well,

Not if we learn from it.

It's not bad if we learn from it.

If we you want to know when war turns to good,

It's the same time everything else turns to good.

It's when we learn from it,

When we look at it and we go,

Wow,

You know what?

We've been killing people for a hundred thousand years in the name of peace.

We we rationalize and talk ourselves into this,

This,

Oh,

It's you know,

We have to fight for peace delusion and,

You know,

Like,

You know,

Oh,

This is necessary for peace.

No,

It's not.

We've been trying it.

Excuse me.

For a hundred thousand years,

We've been trying to fight for peace and it hasn't brought peace yet,

What what is to make us think that it's going to if we continue doing it?

It's ridiculous,

It's doing the same thing over and over again,

Expecting a different result.

No,

Killing a bunch of people doesn't bring peace.

It doesn't,

You know,

Maybe temporarily.

But then afterwards is just more people killing more people.

So it's no,

It doesn't,

You know,

It's like screwing for virginity.

It doesn't work like so.

So I got to I got to kind of reel it in and wrap it up here.

So let's I'm I'm just going to disconnect from that completely.

And bring it back here.

So it's having these preferences,

I'm going to read a little bit more here because.

Yeah,

Everything is a gift.

Give up this feeling,

This is also what he wrote,

Give up this feeling that you are entitled to,

That life owes you something and feel the space that remains.

Perhaps at first you feel vulnerability like,

Oh,

My God,

I can't fight for my rights,

I'm going to be abused,

But go beyond this feeling,

Sacrifice it for a greater truth.

You must begin to get your mind on God,

God has no rights.

God doesn't need any rights.

You have to be like God.

Give up that feeling that you are entitled to.

Are you willing to go all the way,

Let go of that pride to give up the future to if you give up the future and the past.

You know,

This is what he's talking about.

Yeah,

Just give let go,

You know,

And this this be like God thing is is another important piece.

It's because I think at first we go,

Oh,

My God,

Who am I to be like God?

We are an expression of God.

Everything that God has,

We have within us.

And if we the more we lean in and express that,

I mean,

Jesus said,

Be like my father,

Perfect in heaven,

Like we have the ability to be perfect spiritually,

Not humanly.

So if we can be like God,

We can walk through life like Jesus,

We have that ability.

All the sages and philosophers have told us this.

I'm not saying it's easy to get there,

But.

Yeah,

The other thing he talks about is being having a fear of being an idiot.

It's like,

Don't.

It's just a mental construct,

You know?

He's he's he's talking about the ego here and part of this.

Listen,

I have rights.

When I have rights,

The world has made me a bunch of wrongs.

Let go of that pride and proud to be a woman and proud to be a man and proud to be handsome and proud to have accomplished something out that you belong to a certain race,

Religion or nation.

Give up all of these things.

These are all egoic.

They don't belong to you.

A big space opens up into your heart.

Humility is immense,

Huge acceptance,

Love,

Wisdom and freedom as you experience integration with God.

And no force on earth can manipulate or imprison you because you have made yourself empty of everything that constitutes a person.

Why do you think it's so great to be a person?

For a while,

We have to prove this personality state,

But the time will come when you return to purity,

Return to your purity,

Your original being.

Fall at God's feet.

This is not an ordinary fall.

It's not going down.

It's falling up into the embrace of the living God.

You know,

This is this is why I'm like,

Man,

That's some good stuff.

I got to talk about this.

Right.

This is what we're doing.

We're opening.

We're letting go of all that stuff.

Letting go of our preferences and our what we think we have a right to.

And now all of a sudden we're just completely open and loving.

And,

And,

And,

You know,

He even says,

Well,

He says the same stuff that I've been talking about.

It's like,

We have to work through that egoic death.

You know,

He talks about the egos.

Hey,

Wait,

What about this?

Hey,

Wait,

What about that?

You know,

Just like I was talking about earlier,

It's like our ego is going to stand up and throw a temper tantrum over this.

Why?

Because a portion of it's going to die if we adopt it.

But that's what we want.

We want it to die off.

We want,

It has too much control over us.

We want it to just minimize and just be open.

That's where our peace lies.

So hopefully that makes sense.

Like let go of your attachment to anything.

Let go of thinking you have a right things,

Or there's a bare minimum that life deserves to,

That you deserve to get from life.

No,

It doesn't work that way.

You know,

We want to let go of all that and open up and it's God's good grace to give us the keys of the kingdom.

It's not that we get less.

It's not when we finally open up,

We,

We finally just open up to the reality that we have everything that we need.

And everything that we need comes from within and there's no gap between us and God.

So if there is something that we need,

It just comes right in the whole world.

The whole universe is filled with abundance.

Why should,

Why would God hold abundance back from us?

He's not going to,

It's not going to happen.

It's just this mental fear that we have.

Oh my God.

If I just open up my heart and let go of preferences,

Then I won't have anything that I like.

That's a load of crap.

You're going to have more than everything that you like.

That's the goic stance.

So I'm looking at the time.

I gotta,

I gotta end this,

But,

Uh,

Hopefully that clicks with you guys.

All right.

Peace.

Thanks for listening.

Reviews

Excellent, Glenn! Thank you for these helpful insights!

Needed to hear this today after a rough week in a support group. Thank you for the reminders. I will continue to practice.