Making Your Mind Work For You

Sometimes things seem too large and so they overwhelm us. In this episode, Glenn talks about how to break things down and make your mind work for you by using different tricks and strategies as well as adapting a new perspective on difficult issues!

Transcript

Everybody,

Welcome to the show.

So today we are talking about making your mind work for you.

Is that right,

Ben?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

Yeah.

So we were having a conversation before we came on about little tricks that you can use to sort of take control over your mind.

I mean,

We were talking about momentum to begin with.

And I was talking about how I personally think that it's easier to do stuff right the next day if you start with a.

.

.

I think that my nighttime routine is more important than my morning routine because it leads into it.

And you were like,

Well,

But when you start,

It's just now.

So then we talked about this.

Yeah.

So it's.

.

.

One of the reasons it works is because how you're looking at it.

Our perspective is our reality.

So if you're building.

.

.

If you can do a little thing in the evening that you're perceiving as a setup for the next day and you use it as such,

Then it is a setup for the next day.

So it does work.

And I was saying,

So it can be beneficial and we have to find what works for us.

And doing.

.

.

A lot of times,

I think a piece of this,

This particular one,

As well as a lot of things,

One of the reasons why they work is because it's a smaller piece.

Like if you go,

Okay,

Tomorrow I'm going to start living better.

That's a big undertaking.

It's like,

Oh my God,

Today's the day.

You feel overwhelmed.

You start making excuses.

It's easy to talk yourself out of because it seems like today's the first day of the rest of your life and that's a big thing.

Whereas at the nighttime,

You can't do a whole day in one shot.

You only have a little chunk of time,

So you can only do one little thing.

So that's small,

Which is good because then you can build off of your success.

So the night before you do something small,

You say,

I'm starting right now.

Then when you wake up,

You feel like you already started because you did and you just roll in and that's the momentum you're feeling.

So I think it's important to start by saying that I agree with you and I think it works and that's probably why.

And then when we were discussing it,

I was like,

Well,

Technically you're starting it in the now.

It's always in the now.

So if you want to get technical about it from a different perspective,

You're not building momentum the day before and then starting your change the following day.

You're just starting your change the night before in the now.

So we started talking about games and I was like,

Those are wonderful.

I've leaned on little games like that and working into developing systems that work for me my whole life.

When I worked out,

I did it when I still do it.

Set yourself up for success.

So if you find something that can get you going and works for you and sets your perception in a way that clicks and works,

Then go.

One perception is not more true than another.

They're all not true.

I think when we start getting closer to spiritual truths and spirituality and universal law and stuff like that,

Well then,

Yeah,

I guess we're getting closer to the truth.

But at the end of the day,

It's still our perspective.

There isn't really any true or false.

It's just the way we're looking at it.

Yeah,

That was a lot.

I want to say that was a lot of truth,

But you just said that it's our perspective.

Right.

You can't say that.

So now I ruined it for you.

You've ruined the truth for me forever.

Yes.

You're welcome.

Yeah.

So let's talk about,

You said that when you were a trainer,

That back then your whole mindset was about those tricks,

Tricking your mind and making things manageable.

What were some of the things that you used to do?

Yeah.

I mean,

I think I started with myself and then as I working out and then when I became a trainer,

I tried using some of those techniques with my clients to keep them motivated.

And it's all perception.

So like sometimes I would envision myself like doing,

Like I would break down if I was going to do 12 repetitions of an exercise,

I would like picture in my head,

I would be like,

Okay,

The first eight are easy.

That's just a warmup.

I'm just kind of building my rhythm.

I'm going,

That's really not my workout.

That's not really the thing.

The first eight is just kind of getting into the routine,

Building up my rhythm and going.

And then once I hit eight,

When I go into nine,

Then I'm really going to start applying myself.

And when I really start applying myself,

It's probably going to take me a rep or two to really hit that big burst.

So nine and 10 is me really pushing towards the peak.

And then 11 and 12 is everything I've got.

So that's how I would look at it.

And so like if I really started mentally being invested in this exercise from repetition one,

By the time I got to eight,

I was mentally ready to stop.

But once I started viewing that as just a warmup to get to the part that was really going to do the work,

Then all of a sudden it completely shifted and it worked for me because I only had to put the mental in.

I didn't have to maintain mental intensity for 12 reps.

I just had to maintain,

I had to launch it at nine.

Nine and 10 was my launch and 11,

12 was when I was really there.

So I only needed to maintain that peak level of exertion and mental strength for a short period of time.

When you and I started doing multiple person workouts with Dave,

You switched a lot of what we did from reps to time so that we were both going.

And at the end of it,

At the end of a lot of them,

We would be exhausted by the end of whatever we were doing reps on.

And you would say you can do anything for 10 seconds.

And that became like a mantra to me.

So I would like,

I remember like,

I actually did this earlier this week with Jay,

My trainer now,

He was doing something,

He had me doing something that was really difficult.

And I just always near the end,

And I didn't even know,

This was not timed.

I had no idea how much longer I had left.

But just as a mantra,

I'm like,

You can do anything for 10 seconds,

Like deliberately slow and while you're doing whatever it is that's hard.

And if I don't finish in the timeframe that I do that,

I reset it and say it again.

Say it again,

Right.

Yeah.

And that's exactly a good example of what I used to bring into with my clients.

Because I mean,

If you're paying attention,

You know that this isn't easy.

And if you've worked out yourself,

You should know that this isn't easy.

You have to push yourself and to do it all the time,

Every day consistently over and over,

Like you need to come up with mind tricks.

And of course,

We're talking about working out and that's where a lot of this was founded.

But I mean,

You can use these in any area of your life.

You have to be a little creative,

But you can find ways to get them into your life.

And I think this is a good example.

Like when I worked out,

I was always trying to push myself harder.

So I would,

When I was working and I worked out hard and I knew I worked out hard because I was working out harder than everybody else around me.

So I realized that I needed to take it to or I wanted to take it to another level.

And I couldn't compare myself to anybody else because I was already working harder than them.

So I was like,

Okay,

I need to get into my head imaginary and find a way to do this.

So I was like,

Okay,

There's somebody out there that's around my age,

That's around my ability and they really,

Really,

Really,

Really want this.

And there's multiple people out there that are like that.

And let's say there's a hundred of them out there doing the same thing I am right now,

Same capabilities,

And they want it really bad.

Is there a few of them that are pushing themselves harder than me?

There's bound to be.

There's bound to be somebody that found another gear.

I want that.

They're not better than me.

There's no reason that I can't do what they're doing.

And that's what I did.

And I think that that's one that I use in life quite a bit.

It's like writing this book.

If I have to do something new that I haven't done before,

I look at it and I go,

Well,

Is somebody else doing this?

Has somebody else done this?

Has,

You know,

Okay,

I'm going to write a book.

I haven't written a book before.

So are there other people who haven't written books before that are writing their first book?

Yeah,

Of course there are.

Like everybody was a first time author at one point.

Like,

I mean,

Literally every book that was written has an author that at one point was a first time author.

So,

You know,

So I'm like,

Okay,

Well then they did it.

You know,

They had fears.

They were worried about inadequacies.

They were worried about how this was going to come together.

They couldn't envision the final product exactly as it is.

And,

You know,

They're going through the same mental constructs that I have that would possibly hold me back.

But yet they didn't let it hold them back.

And they did it anyway.

So if they could do it,

Then I can do it.

Right.

You know,

If there's somebody out there doing it,

Feeling the same way I am,

But they're doing it anyway,

Then I should be able to feel that way and do it anyway.

There's also the,

When you were talking about the book,

This made me think of,

And I think we talked about this on a previous episode,

Or maybe it was a five questions.

The book as a whole was intimidating.

Like when we were,

When you finished the book,

When you finished the main writing of the manuscript,

The rough draft at least,

And we sat down to go through it,

You know,

It was a lot of pages and a lot of chapters and some things needed to get beefed up.

And,

You know,

Like the editing process,

The first run of self-editing process is really daunting.

And what we did was we broke it up into little bite-sized pieces,

Little chapters,

You know,

And we were like,

Just focus on the chapter,

You know,

Like just focus on this.

And that's,

You know,

That's another trick that I do for myself all the time.

And like Dave,

I was,

Dave had a crazy weekend this weekend where he was,

He had to drive like five or six hours or something to get to a gig.

And then that got over after midnight and then drive somewhere else to a hotel to get there at like three o'clock in the morning to a hotel halfway in between,

And then go to a different place the next morning at like 8am after getting in at three and then drive another two hours.

And I was like,

And he was,

You know,

Very anxious about it beforehand.

And I was like,

Just 10 minutes at a time,

Like what do you need to do right now?

You know,

That's all we need to be focusing on is what do you need to do right now?

Because when you look at things as a whole,

We talked about this with the Overwhelmed podcast that you just did.

Like if you don't find these little mental tricks that work for you,

Whatever works for you,

Things can be really overwhelming.

Absolutely.

I mean,

I don't like they,

I don't know how people,

Honestly,

I don't know how people function if they don't do this.

I mean,

I suppose there might be a few that don't know what Overwhelmed feels like,

But you know,

They are,

I don't know,

I can't relate.

But yeah,

I mean,

Everything is like this.

I mean,

You have to and it's,

You know,

There's different tricks at different times.

Like,

I mean,

You know,

A lot of times it is taking a big project and chopping it into a smaller piece and just do what you're capable of right then.

Like this last month with the book and putting together crowdfunding and working with a charity and all this stuff that goes in and all the different aspects,

I haven't been able to really focus as much as I normally do.

Maybe I'll pick something,

Maybe even break it up into pieces,

Focus on that and then just get that done.

I haven't been able to,

It's been like a whirlwind lately.

So like at the,

You know,

It'll be seven o'clock at night and I'll be like,

Okay,

Like,

What did I get done?

And it was like,

I don't know,

A bunch of stuff.

You know,

Because,

You know,

A call came in from the charity,

I took that,

They needed this,

I sent that over,

They sent me this,

I looked it over,

Yes,

Good shot over to the,

You know,

To the editing.

What's going on with the editing of the book?

Shoot that over to the publisher.

How about the cover?

Go over it.

And I mean,

And you know,

And I could go on because there's multiple things,

Not only with the things that I mentioned,

But other things that are going on and it's bebopping all,

You know,

And like when,

When things get this busy,

When there's this much to do,

It's I have to kind of just go with the flow like that.

And what happens is after a certain period of time,

I can't function like this forever,

But I can just remind myself,

It's like,

No,

It's okay.

You're just,

You're going with the flow and you're accomplishing a lot.

Relax.

Don't worry about what is getting done.

Because if you keep doing your best and putting your attention,

You know,

As to what needs your prioritization at this particular moment,

You're going to get to a place where this is a little bit more manageable and you can start setting,

Okay,

Today I'm going to work on this.

You'll get back to that place,

You know?

So I mean,

I guess the only thing I kind of do is I ask myself,

Am I prioritizing well?

Like am I,

Because my brain,

I've gotten better at that.

My brain used to be really bad at this.

I would only do what really captured my interest,

Like what I like to do.

Like I could play around with an idea for the cover of the book forever.

Like I could do that for six months and then stick my head up and people go like,

Have you done anything?

I'm like,

What?

So I mean,

You know,

I have to,

So I just kind of double check myself and go,

Are you getting sucked into something because it's like a playful game for you that doesn't really need this much attention or are you prioritizing well?

And as long as I'm prioritizing and I'm hopping from what needs to be done to what needs to be done,

I just lean back and don't judge myself and just go,

And I don't even look closely at what I finished,

You know?

It's just like,

It's going to be like this for a while,

Glen,

Just keep moving,

You know?

And just take the pressure off and you're doing good.

You're prioritizing well.

So lean back and enjoy the ride.

Yeah,

I agree completely.

There's something that you just spoke about,

Which I wanted to clarify from earlier was you talked about setting the priorities and making sure that whatever it is,

You're doing your best and that that is fine.

And I mean,

You've talked about doing your best and the fact that your best looks different on different days a lot.

When you were talking earlier about somebody,

You know,

If there's something I want to do,

Somebody else out there has done it.

And I feel like people might feel like they're putting too much pressure on themselves to be,

You know,

Like to be something that they're not because somebody else did it.

Like,

You know,

And I think you said there's somebody out there who's my height and my ability that's doing this a little bit better than me.

Or not even,

I'm sorry,

You did not say a little bit better than me.

You said who found an extra gear that I want to get to.

So I just want to clarify that you specifically were not talking about somebody better than me or like,

You know,

Like,

You're gonna have limitations.

It's just about trying to get yourself to where you want to be.

Right.

And I think that's a really good point because it's,

And the way you were describing it,

Like,

You know,

A lot of times we say semantics and I learned this many years ago because I was doing it and somebody called me out on it and it's like,

You know,

Oh,

The words we choose,

Oh,

I chose the wrong word.

And I was really good at leaning on that and going,

Yeah,

You know,

I know what I meant.

I just chose the wrong word.

And somebody was like,

No,

You didn't.

You said exactly what you meant to say.

And I was like,

Yeah,

Whatever.

And then after I went home,

I thought about it and I was like,

And I really got honest with myself and I was like,

Wow,

They're right.

And this is a good example of that.

The words that I chose to describe that I wasn't consciously trying to pick a specific word,

But the words that came out never said that there was somebody better than me,

You know,

And that is an important piece.

It's a general idea that I'm using to motivate myself.

It's not a specific thing.

You know,

It's really,

We can derive a lot of,

A sense of comfort from being part of,

You know,

Usually we're busy comparing our insides to everybody else's outsides.

We're like,

I'm overwhelmed.

I don't know how to do this.

I'm scared.

I'm not sure if I'm capable.

And then we look at somebody who's already done it and we go,

See,

They were able to do it.

And it's like,

It was easy for them.

Like they didn't feel the exact same way you felt,

You know,

Like,

No,

They did.

You know,

Nobody does something for the first time and they're like,

Oh,

I'm just,

I am so phenomenal at this.

And if they are like that,

They're BSing themselves because you can't know that you're going to be good at something before you even ever do it.

You know?

Yeah.

They might be faking it until they make it,

But deep down there's some fear,

You know?

So I mean,

That's the type of stuff that I try to relate to.

I don't,

You know,

Like,

Is somebody,

I'm sure there are better writers out there than I am,

You know,

Technically.

I'm not trying to be a wonderful writer.

I'm trying to convey information that's coming through me.

That's what,

To help people.

That's what I'm trying to do.

I don't think you have to be the best technical writer to do that.

And besides,

That's what they make editors for.

So,

But what I look at to work through the fear is what my fears are.

Am I good enough?

Can I do this?

Is this too big?

You know,

That type of stuff.

Everybody feels that way when they're about to do something that they haven't done.

So you know,

Is somebody,

Has somebody been in my shoes feeling the way that I'm feeling and they did it anyway?

Yes.

Okay.

Then,

You know,

There's nothing special about them.

There's nothing unique about somebody who did something.

They just decided to do it anyway.

That's all.

They just pushed through even when it was uncomfortable.

That's not like a characteristic.

Like God didn't make 14 people that pushed through even when things are hard and the other 8 billion of us suck ass.

That's not like,

That's not how it was made.

So that's all that it is.

That's what I use.

Like,

Okay,

Somebody felt the way I did and they pushed through even though they felt the way that I did.

Well,

If somebody else can do it,

So can I.

You know,

And that's the,

So I think it's like deriving courage and support from the people who went before me.

I think that's great.

That's a great description of that.

Thank you.

I just wanted to clarify.

I thought it was an important point.

So why,

Like we've talked about why it's important to come up with these ways to make your mind work for you.

I mean,

I know that we've said tricks a couple of times and that leads me into my next point,

Which is what do you do when you know you're tricking yourself?

Like the feeling of like,

You know what I mean?

Like when you're like,

Oh,

Forget that.

I know what I'm doing.

I'm not going to fall for this.

You know,

Like when depression and anxiety and self-doubt kicks in and you're like,

None of this is true.

Yeah,

Well,

What I usually do is I just,

I look at the opposite.

Like you know,

Yeah,

We can look at it like we're tricking ourselves.

We can look at it like,

You know,

Oh,

This isn't a hundred percent true.

I'm just saying this to trick myself into doing something.

And you know,

Like our mind doesn't like that perspective.

So even though I like,

You know,

I use those words to express a point,

But mentally I kind of think of it differently because of this.

Because if I think I'm just lying to myself or tricking myself,

I will rebel against that.

So what I've done is I really took some time to deeply understand that there is no truth.

You know,

So it's not that,

And actually these tricks are actually closer to the truth because they lead towards healthy behavior.

Therefore they're closer towards spiritual truth than the supposed truth that I tell myself when I'm in bad head space or when I'm trying to get out of things.

You know,

Like if I look at,

Well,

Like I guess we'll just use the book because that's what we've been talking about so I don't have to explain it.

So you know,

So if I'm looking at the book and I go,

Well,

You know,

I'm using a trick and go,

Well,

You know,

Other people have done it,

Then I should be able to do it.

Then the alternative to that would be like,

Well,

Yeah,

But other people have froze and they haven't done it.

So what makes you think that you can?

I'd be like,

Okay,

Well,

What's true about that?

Is that actually true?

Well,

Yeah,

Some people have frozen.

Yeah.

Okay,

Fine.

I'll give you that piece.

Some people have frozen,

But is that the whole truth?

I mean,

Does the fact that other people have frozen mean that I'm going to freeze or that I have to freeze or that I can't do this?

Well,

No,

Because the other part of the,

You know,

Obviously books have been written,

So other people have regardless.

Okay,

Then that's not the whole truth,

You know?

So it's,

You know,

It's just being honest with myself and saying,

You know,

The negative is not true and I can prove it.

And sometimes I have to go all the way,

If it's really trying to attach to me,

I'll go all the way down the road and I'll prove to myself that it's not true.

Usually I just look at it and go,

Yeah,

It's a game.

It's a trick,

But it's just me getting what I want.

Right.

Finding a way to motivate myself,

To get myself to a place that I,

Or do a thing that I want to do.

It's hope.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Like,

Yeah,

People have failed.

People have done this and people have failed,

But people have also done it.

Right.

And that's the same thing as breaking down the tasks that we talked about earlier.

Like I used to walk home sometimes from school,

Which was five miles away.

And that.

.

.

Up hill both ways and three feet of snow?

There were hills both ways,

But I used to walk home five miles a day from school.

And then later in college,

Like I had to,

Because I was in New York,

We had to walk like a dozen blocks or something.

And that was terrible sometimes,

But I was always like,

I just have to walk to that next tree.

I just have to walk to that.

And then in New York,

It was like,

As soon as I get to that building,

I'm done.

And then like,

I would literally say like,

I'm done.

Like I can stop if I want to.

And then like,

You know,

And keep resetting.

But you're giving yourself hope.

Like you're giving yourself an opportunity for success because walking five miles sounds horrific to me right now.

And it did when I was 13 as well.

But walking to the end of that field doesn't seem that bad.

Right.

And that's,

And you can build off of that,

You know,

And that's,

You know,

That's the,

You know,

Walking is a good example,

But we can do it with tasks too.

And it's just like,

You know,

Yeah,

Walking five miles stinks,

But you know,

Walking one mile is okay.

And you know,

A lot of times I tell people,

If you're trying to do something different in your life,

Create a new habit,

Walk towards something,

Give yourself a chunk of time that your brain can wrap itself around that you can manage and then tell yourself you're going to reassess at that time.

Like a lot of times,

Two weeks,

You know,

I'll be like,

I can do.

.

.

If it's a habit thing,

I can do just about,

I can force myself to do a habit for a couple of weeks.

Some people it's only a week,

Some people it's three or four weeks.

And depending on what the habit,

It depends.

But like,

So I'll,

If I'm trying to do something,

I'll just be like,

Okay,

I am not allowed to discuss this with my head for two weeks,

You know,

And I make the plan on the weekend.

Like I tell my ego,

We're not doing anything this weekend,

You don't have to do anything,

You can take the weekend off.

So then my ego can shut up and stop fighting me against this and going,

Glenn,

What about this?

What about that?

What about this?

Maybe you shouldn't.

I don't want to hear all that stuff right now.

I'm just making a plan.

So I'll make the plan for two weeks and then I'll stick to it.

And no matter what my brain tells me during that two weeks,

I am not allowed to have a conversation with my brain about it.

I am not allowed to reassess the situation.

I am not allowed to change the situation.

You know,

If my brain tells me that this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life ever,

I can just say,

Well,

I'm going to be an idiot for two solid weeks then.

And part of me doesn't really believe that because I was a dysfunctional mess for 20 years.

I've done so many stupid,

Stupid things that there's no way anything that I'm doing now is the stupidest thing that I've done.

But you know,

My brain will actually try to be like,

Yeah,

Glenn,

This is even more stupid than back then.

So I'll just be like,

Okay,

Well then I'm going to be the biggest idiot on the planet for two solid weeks then.

So be it because I am not allowed to get into a conversation about this and I will reassess at the end of two weeks and then I just do it no matter what.

Don't discuss it.

It's not up for debate.

I just do it.

And then at the end of the two weeks I sit back and I have yet to have done that after two weeks and have been like,

That was so stupid.

I've never come to that conclusion ever.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to tweak things and make a couple of adjustments here and there.

But after two weeks,

I'm always happy that I did it because when I set the plan in place,

I was in good head space.

I was trying to improve myself.

I was trying to do something that I liked or wanted to do.

Well that's,

Yeah,

I know exactly what you're talking about and I do it all the time and I have about 30 stories that I could share about that but we are over time for this episode.

Wow,

This thing flew.

So you know this is,

Which is a good point,

That it's,

You know,

There's so many of these little things that we do on a day-to-day basis.

It's,

You know,

It's,

That's why it's not,

Yeah,

Are they little tricks?

Yeah,

The little tricks.

But this is how we live,

By little tricks,

You know,

Just finding perspectives that work for us and doing them,

You know,

And that's all you need to do.

That's the difference between finding a way to get yourself motivated to get to a point where you experience a little bit of success then you build off that,

Then you experience a little bit of success,

Then you build off that and then next thing you know you see the light at the end of the tunnel and then you use that as your motivator to finish up what you were doing.

You know,

All these little games that we can do is just breaking it up into smaller pieces and the people who do do it accomplish things and people who don't,

Don't.

So be one of the ones that does.

Play the game,

You know,

It's a,

This life is a game.

Just play around and have some fun with it.

All right,

So obviously everything you,

You guys know where you can find Glenn,

Glennambros.

Com.

Sign up for the mailing list,

Get the new show,

Five Questions with Glenn every other Sunday.

It's a companion piece to Life Lessons in Laughter.

Glenn answers your questions.

If you have questions,

Send them in at glennambros.

Com.

We'd love to ask them on the show.

Glenn wrote a book.

I did.

And yeah,

And if you would like to help the launch of that book,

Check out Glenn's Indiegogo campaign.

There's a lot of cool perks and stuff that you can get if you,

As well as a copy of the book,

You know,

An ebook or a copy of the book,

Stuff like that.

You want to be a guest on the show,

You can,

You know,

You know,

Maybe you can do that.

Like there's,

There's a lot of,

You want,

You want to,

You're,

You're a company that wants to book Glenn to come do a thing.

There are so many cool options for things that you can do on this Indiegogo thing.

There's a lot of,

There's a lot of great stuff.

And,

But the main thing is you're going to help get this book out.

And that's what I'm excited about.

Yeah,

Yeah,

That's it.

You know,

Be a part of this and a part of the process,

You know,

It's,

So we,

We,

We broke this down into smaller pieces.

The book's written,

It takes some stuff to get it published.

So I'm reaching out to you guys to be part of that publishing process and really help this book to be birthed into this world.

So you know,

Be a part of it and yeah,

And you know,

We're,

We're spending a lot of time on the neat perks that are offered.

So you get something for your support.

So check it out and you know,

There's going to be information everywhere I am about this.

It'll probably be around 40,

45 days long.

So keep your eyes open,

Check my website and you know,

It should be October,

November,

2019.

That's the timeframe we're looking at.

And also check out,

You know,

Part of the proceeds for the book go to a fantastic organization called Outreach International.

So there's all of that info in the description of this episode.

That's it.

Yeah.

So thanks for listening,

Our buddy.

Check it out and we'll talk at you soon.

Reviews

Really interesting chat, some good tricks! Thanks gentlemen 💜 x

Loved it! Can’t wait to read your book! I’ll check out the website for a release date!

A lot of good information! Thank you!

This insightful discussion is valuable to successfully handle "overwhelm" by using simple techniques.

Namaste