Living A Balanced Life - Life, Lessons, & Laughter LIVE

In this episode, I'll discuss what a balanced life should consist of. Balance means a lot of things to a lot of people however what is the general concept and how can it be achieved in today's busy world? All this and more. Recorded LIVE on 8-29-22.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello.

Hello my friends.

Happy flipping Monday.

What's everybody doing?

How's everybody feeling?

Where are you watching from?

Talk to me.

How's that?

How's that for an intro?

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with Glenn Ambrose.

Is that better?

Is that more official?

Let's turn this light down,

Man.

Wow,

That was bright.

Okay,

Cool.

Yeah,

Let me know where you guys are watching from.

Let me know who's here.

Today,

We're talking about balance.

A balanced life.

You know,

This is something important,

Man.

Important for all of us.

We need to live a balanced life.

So,

You know,

I kind of have an idea of the direction I want to go,

But before I do that,

What I usually teach about balance is,

You know,

Balance isn't 33% of three things.

You know,

And I think that when we're living somewhat unconsciously,

Just kind of going day to day to day,

You know,

Just rolling into the next thing,

That we kind of forget this.

So,

Like,

Let's just,

You know,

We'll use the three thing as the example.

So,

If you have 33% of three things that you spend your energy on,

Sometimes that is going to tip.

Like,

You can't keep that up.

You can't live in a way where you give 33% of your energy to three different things all the time.

It's unsustainable.

It's,

You know,

We live in an ever changing reality.

So,

We need to be flexible with our lives and our energy for that matter.

So,

Sometimes,

You know,

If there's a family emergency,

You might have to spend 90 or 100% of your energy on your family.

And if,

You know,

Occasionally there might be work situations where you need to spend,

You know,

50 or 75% of your energy on a work situation,

You know,

That hopefully is short lived.

You know,

And notice that I'm saying energy,

Not time,

Because there's a difference.

You know,

Most people have to work eight,

10 hour days.

Like that's gone.

So,

Like,

You know,

When like you can have 33% of three things where energetically you spend eight hours at work,

Four hours on family time and four hours on downtime or hobby or whatever.

Like,

You know,

We'll just use this for,

You know,

I'm oversimplifying life just so you can understand my point.

So,

Like,

If we spend four hours on a hobby and four hours on family time and eight hours at work during our 16 hours of awake time,

Other than when we're sleeping,

Like that can be basically 33% of three things energetically.

Just because you're spending eight hours at work doesn't mean that that equals the same amount of energy.

You know what I mean?

Like,

Because a lot of times when we're at work,

You know,

We fall into patterns and rhythms and it's like that's a block of time that most people have to do.

And it's kind of non-negotiable.

So,

You don't have to put in that much energy into that.

Whereas,

You know,

When you're outside of work,

It's the importance level.

See,

That's what your priority levels,

That's what is equal to your energy.

And this is the same like with spirituality.

This is why it's like,

You know,

The beautiful thing about spirituality and enhancing your life is you don't have to quit your job and meditate for eight hours.

Like,

That's not how it works.

You know,

You don't need to do that.

If you did need to do that,

If the system was set up where you needed to spend a majority of what we call time doing something for it to work,

Well,

We'd all be screwed because we all live in a society where most people have to work majority of the time,

You know,

So that would set us up for failure.

That's not how it works.

You know,

There's technically no time.

There's no time in the spiritual realm.

There's technically no time in a lot of other areas.

So another way to perceive it is energy or priorities.

Like most people would say that their family life is more of a priority than their work life,

I hope.

And those people,

If you look at their lives,

A lot of them spend more time at work than they do with their family.

So it's not about time,

You know,

It's about priorities and setting,

You know,

Your energy and how important they are to you.

You know,

So you can have a balance of three things.

But a lot of times where people,

You know,

Fall off is when something happens in life,

Like there's a work project or let's just stay with the work because most people work too much.

Let's say there's a work situation and they go,

Hey,

Like,

Oh,

My God,

We're in this emergency.

We need your help.

Can you can you work,

You know,

A few hours overtime for a while?

Yeah,

OK.

Then you start working the overtime.

You either get used to the money or they get used to you working that.

And then all of a sudden you never get back off that.

You wake up five years or 10 years later and you're burned out and you don't know how you got there.

It's because we just get caught up in that pattern of living and we don't slow down and hit the brakes and make adjustments.

We need to hit the brakes and constantly readjust our lives because we live mostly unconsciously and we fall out of balance with our priorities a lot of times,

You know,

And life changes.

Everything changes all the time.

So,

You know,

Having your own business,

You have to do this all the time.

I'm constantly reassessing my business and how I'm spending my time because we get we get caught up in unconscious patterns.

We're very habitual beings,

You know,

So we fall out or,

You know,

We're going to eat better or we're going to work out more.

And then all of a sudden something happened and it knocked us off and then we never get back on.

See,

It's not consistency is very important.

So,

You know,

I highly recommend being consistent and not allowing yourself to fall off.

This is why I like reschedule as opposed to cancel.

I don't cancel things.

I reschedule them as a general rule.

That way it never falls off my radar.

And then I wake up six months later going,

Oh,

My God,

I was going to do that.

You know,

So that's one way to to help stay in balance.

But if you stop and reassess going and look at your life.

You go,

OK,

Am I out of balance?

How can I get back in doing that every few months can make a dramatic positive effect because we do.

You know,

There's things that we're going to do that we don't or think emergencies that come up that pull our attention off and then we never get back on.

So so it's about reassessing and getting back to a balanced life on a on a regular basis,

Regular basis of reassessing.

You know,

And.

A big thing,

You know,

A big problem in our society is that we don't take our own happiness.

Very seriously,

Like,

You know,

We just don't take it seriously,

It's not high on our priority list and and,

You know,

Our peace and our happiness is just it's.

I understand it's a new way of looking at things,

But,

You know,

I really this is foundational,

Like we really got to get better at this.

We really got to get better at making our happiness and our peace a priority in our lives.

And,

You know,

I'll write before I mean,

Literally,

As I was logging on tonight,

This thought popped into my head because I posted a question.

Here's a little interesting tidbit.

The logarithms on Facebook are so tight that like I posted a picture and said,

Hey,

I'm going live tonight and I will discuss the topic in this picture.

And nobody saw it for hours.

Nobody commented on it.

Nobody liked it.

Nobody saw it.

Nothing.

And then a couple hours later,

I posted just the picture with no comment.

And I like within 45 minutes,

I got like three comments and some likes,

You know,

So the logarithms block this stuff.

Like as soon as I'm promoting anything,

Saying I'm going live,

Saying that there's a link in the bio saying,

Hey,

I'll talk about this later.

Hey,

Go here to find out more information.

Anything like that.

Any type of promotion.

It picks right up on that and it doesn't let anybody see those posts.

So that's just a heads up.

So like,

You know,

If I have posts that that seem vague in the description,

That might be why.

Or if you're looking for something,

You might want to go to my profile and scroll through my feed or something,

You know,

Just so you guys know how it works.

But what I found,

What clicked right when I was logging on was I think it was last week when I when I or the week before,

I don't remember when I when I put up a post.

What do you feel that is out of your control?

You know,

Something along those lines.

And the the the the comments that I got were there was a lot of them and they were very specific.

I think I may have said be specific,

But still there was tons of comments.

I'm still getting comments a week later or whatever it was two weeks later,

Whatever.

Several days later,

Every once in a while,

Somebody will will see that and comment on it.

And when I post questions about happiness,

Balance,

Things like that,

Like positive things.

I get very little feedback and it caught my attention.

Not that this is the first time it's caught my attention.

It's caught my attention lots of times,

And I've commented on it lots of times.

But if you went to a to an auditorium that had 10000 people in it and you said.

What do you want out of your life?

You know,

What do you want in life?

A majority of people,

If you know,

Assuming they weren't in the mode to get real specific,

I'm talking in a general consensus here,

A general way.

Most people would say,

I just want to be happy.

I just want to live a peaceful,

Happy life.

Like that's basically what most people are looking for.

We all underneath it all.

We have we all have the same desires.

Happiness and peace can look differently to different people.

Some people peaceful means not being interrupted all day.

Some people like more would like the interaction,

But have it a smooth interaction.

Happy could look like adventures all the time to one person where to the other person,

It would look like never leaving home and being in your garden all day.

Just,

You know,

Whatever.

It doesn't matter.

My point is,

Is that no matter what it looks like for you,

All everybody wants the same things.

They want to be loved.

They want to be heard.

You know,

But I mean,

What what do you want out of life?

People want to be Pete.

They want to experience peace in their heart and they want to be happy.

And so if you ask ten thousand people that most people are going to be like,

I just want to live a happy life.

And then when you start asking people specific questions,

Namely like,

OK,

How what did you do to accomplish living a happy life in the last two weeks?

Most people would be like,

What do you mean?

That would literally be most people's answers.

Well,

What do you mean?

Or,

You know,

And some people are going to have some answers.

They're going to be like,

Well,

I meditated or,

You know,

There'll be little trinkles of of of things.

But my point is,

Is that the answers don't the the answers don't give the impression that people are actively pursuing it.

If you are actively pursuing happiness.

Then if most people were,

You know,

I'm not saying,

You know,

Maybe you are.

But if if people if most people were pursuing happiness,

Then if you said,

Hey,

What did you do to be happy?

They would have specific answers.

They'd be like,

OK,

I did this.

I did this.

I did this.

You know,

Where because they can do that with anything else that they're pursuing.

What are you pursuing a job?

Yes.

What did you do to find a job?

Oh,

I did this.

I did this.

I did this.

See,

They have very specific answers.

They can tell you exactly what they did.

Say,

Oh,

You're planning a vacation.

What did you do to your plan your vacation?

Oh,

Well,

I did this.

I did this.

I did this.

I researched,

You know,

First we decide where we're going to go.

Then I looked into flights.

Then we looked into hotel rooms and we look into the rental cars.

You know,

Like there's very specific things that people do to accomplish things,

Except when you ask them about happiness.

And this was that it was the same wave that I got right before I hopped on.

I was,

You know,

Like I asked this question.

And I got three answers.

One of them was a friend of mine fooling around and one said,

Peace,

Just peace,

Which I mean,

You know,

Don't get me wrong in one person.

You know,

We have to take into consideration perspectives.

OK,

So I understand.

I'm not I'm not attacking everybody for their answers.

I understand that people perceive the way that I ask this question differently.

Right.

So I'm not attacking the people who answered because I understand how when they read the question,

One person said,

Hey,

I got a funny answer for that.

And they put a funny answer.

One person said,

I just want a balanced life,

Makes me feel peaceful.

I just want peace for their answers.

I understand.

I perceive the way that I am.

I was just I was just looking at the answers in my the video that I'm doing now,

Just playing back.

Sorry about that.

So,

Yeah.

So.

You know,

Peace,

I just want peace.

OK,

Well,

Well,

That's a that's a.

An answer that's broader than what I was looking for,

But how does she know that she doesn't know what what's inside my brain?

She doesn't know I'm looking for something more specific.

Right.

And then somebody else said,

When I listen to myself,

My higher power and I'm honest,

I feel balanced with life.

OK,

So now we're getting into a little bit more detail about about.

You know,

In their answer,

Not exactly what I was looking for,

But again,

How do they know what I'm looking for?

So,

You know,

These answers are fine.

It's just the lack of engagement in this is because if you ask people to complain about what's wrong in their life,

They got 300 answers and they know specifically what's wrong in their life and why it's wrong and why they're miserable.

But if you ask them what they're doing to be happy or balanced,

It's like,

Well,

It's a harder question to answer.

Why?

Because we don't think of it.

We don't slow down and think about this stuff enough,

You know,

And that's my point.

So I'm going to I'm going to start leading into kind of the direction that I was intending for this.

But I want to touch on that.

Please.

We have to put some more time.

We have to act like it's a priority.

You know,

That's that.

That's what it is.

We don't,

You know,

All make it a priority.

No,

You won't.

You won't make it a priority.

If I tell you to make it a priority,

I guarantee you,

You won't.

You want to know why?

Because you don't know how.

That's why you don't know how to make something a priority.

Most people don't.

It's just like,

Oh,

I'm going to make that a priority.

There's no action to that.

So so like it's it's you know,

We have to we have to a more specific way to phrase it is act like it's a priority in your life.

Behave like it's a priority in your life.

You know,

That is what changes our life is when we look at things and we go we go.

You know what?

What is what's my priority here?

Am I behaving like this is a priority?

You know,

Am I behaving like it?

Well,

No,

I just I'm just kind of saying it's a priority.

You know,

I've had I've had all kinds of stuff.

You know,

I've had this come up in lots of different ways over the years.

You know,

I had I had somebody one time specifically cancel something.

On me.

And then I said,

Listen,

I I can't do this anymore because you keep canceling and my time's too valuable.

I only have a little bit of it.

And I set this aside and you just didn't show up.

And I can't do that.

And the reason that this person canceled was work related.

And then I and they said,

Well,

I always put my friends before work.

Like you,

You literally just didn't.

I'm a friend.

You literally did something for work instead of following through with a commitment to me.

So you literally didn't do what you said.

So this is what I mean.

We have to.

That was many years ago,

But we have to slow down and think like we don't.

Oh,

It's it's a priority in my life.

Well,

How how do you do you act like it's a priority?

Do you behave?

Do your actions follow in line with this mindset that you say you have?

You know,

Our feet and our mouth have to be going in the same direction.

Otherwise,

This stuff doesn't work.

You know,

So,

Yeah,

Like I said,

I'm going to get I'm going to get into the direction I was going to go with this.

Hey,

Gina,

Thanks for joining from Canada.

And Sue,

Nice to see you from Rhode Island.

Yeah,

Sometimes people think it has to be a grander scale answer instead of smaller things.

Absolutely.

And this is what I mean.

You know,

It's like there's no blame to anybody because of perspectives difference,

You know,

Like the way.

And I take that into consideration.

This is honestly it's one of the hardest things that I do is try to figure out a way to phrase a question,

To get some feedback in a way that I want,

Because everybody has so many different perspectives out there.

And sometimes it's grander,

Sometimes it's smaller.

Sometimes it's angled in this direction.

Sometimes it's angled in the direction of something they're going through in life.

So I get all that and all that's understandable.

That's why I have no problem with the three answers that,

You know,

That I got.

Because,

You know,

Like their brain looked at the question in a particular way and they gave an answer in alignment with that,

Which I think is wonderful and helpful.

And I appreciate that.

But what I see is lack of engagement.

If you ask somebody what's wrong,

You get 300 people telling you what's wrong.

If you ask people what's right,

You get three.

There's a dramatic difference in engagement,

You know.

So everybody is very aware of what's wrong in their life,

But nobody is putting attention to how to fix it.

Nobody has a solution.

Nobody is working towards this solution of fixing their problems.

But boy,

They'll tell you what that problem is,

You know.

So that's my point.

Yes,

Cindy,

Our feet and our mouth do have to go in the same direction.

Yeah,

It's just there's just no,

You know,

I was they say stuff like that in recovery a lot.

So I,

You know,

I learned that from day one.

And my sponsor was hardcore,

Man.

I mean,

I think I've shared a couple of his stories,

But,

You know,

Like,

I mean,

The way this dude lived the program,

I had no excuse but to live it myself.

110%,

You know,

So.

So what I want to talk about today is kind of in alignment with this retreat that I just announced.

I just announced the retreat in October of 2022 at the end of the month here in the Dominican Republic with me.

We've got four casitas right here.

I can look out my window and see them built here on the property.

And they're furnished now so we can start having people over here for retreats.

And so I announced a retreat yesterday.

And I'm going to keep the first one small.

But this,

You know,

I was thinking about the retreat and I was about to announce it and I went,

I couldn't announce it.

It didn't feel right.

I was just like,

And I was and I wasn't feeling well for a little while.

That knocks off my energy.

So I waited until I was feeling good enough where I could get a good read with my energy and something wasn't right.

And I almost just didn't decided not to do one.

And then I said,

Well,

Why don't I come up with a variable option?

So I don't know where that idea came from,

But so I started writing down a very like a more simple because the retreat I had before was very structured and very laid out with when my teachings were and and all this stuff.

And so I wrote down this retreat and I started searching types of retreats because I'm like,

What if I do something really more laid back and stuff?

And I came across this definition and this was what really clicked with me.

And this is why I'm doing this topic.

Let's see.

I came up with this definition of the holistic retreat.

I didn't come up with that.

I found it online.

It's a holistic retreat,

Says a holistic retreat is one where your state of health and well-being is looked on as a whole.

Where the goal is to balance mind,

Body and soul so that you are vital and can live and you can live life as your best self.

And I went,

Oh,

I like that.

And that's when my vision that I had already started writing like this vague vision of a retreat.

And when I read that,

I went,

Oh,

Yes,

That that kind of brings it into shape.

That's what I'm that's what I unconsciously was trying to build.

I was trying to I was trying to design that and I didn't even know what I was designing.

And that put a definition to it.

You know,

It helped clarify my vision about what I was trying to design.

So because,

You know,

And I kind of flash to my life here.

It's like,

You know,

What,

What's the point of a retreat here?

What's the point of my retreat here?

And my point of my retreat here is to take the life that I have designed over here of peace and balance.

And bring other people in to show them this and experience this in all ways and give them a taste of a balanced life that I'm living.

You know,

Of course,

I'm not going to have them come to work with me.

So,

You know,

It's a retreat.

So we're going to have,

You know,

A waterfall adventure and going through the caves in Cabaret Day here and Dominican and a beach day and a day by the river here on our property.

And,

You know,

We're going to do some cool stuff,

But it's going to have lots of downtime and relax time.

And it's going to be all about balance and growth and really tuning in.

This is one of the reasons why I want to keep it simple is to tune in to the people that are here,

Like their individual lives.

I want to keep it small so we can,

And intimate,

So we can address the specific things that are going on in people's lives,

Their specific struggles and just hang out while we're doing it.

You know,

And enjoy the beauty,

Enjoy the nature that I live in and do the work too.

You know,

It's not just a retreat to go get away somewhere.

I mean,

It's spiritual.

So,

I mean,

You're going to be hanging out with me for five or six days,

You know,

And so we're going to be talking about spirituality.

We're going to be addressing everything.

So,

You know,

Instead of having like an hour and a half class in the morning and then an hour and a half class at night or something.

No,

Man,

Let's just immerse ourselves fully in this spiritual atmosphere over here,

This life that I've created.

Come over,

Immerse yourself in it,

Live it with me,

Talk,

You know,

Like step into my life for a little while and,

You know,

And get that the guidance that you're looking for in the process.

You know,

My,

Because honestly,

It's more like how I work.

This is how I am.

I'm laid back.

Me talking to you guys,

This is what I do.

Like,

I share wisdom that I've been fortunate enough to be blessed with that can help people's lives.

And,

You know,

People often my clients when they first start working with me are often surprised,

Especially ones that have had had like structured like therapy and counseling and stuff like that in the past.

Because the way I work is nothing like that.

I mean,

A lot of times it's actually enjoyable.

And I think that's what I've found.

I've found that there's a lot of structure in the conversations we have and there isn't structure,

Because what I found is that whatever needs to come up comes up.

And this is what people tell me all the time at the end of our sessions.

I was just so much better and I didn't know what we're going to talk about or what we should be talking about and,

And but when I just let go.

It went into directions that I didn't know was going to go into,

And it was much better than I thought,

Like,

I got what I needed.

And this is how it works.

If we just open.

If we're tight and constricted and pushing and trying too hard.

So if we just relax and open and allow and have dialogue with one another,

That's where the true genius bubbles up.

That's where the solutions come.

That's where you to drop into that space of peace,

You know,

So this is what I want to.

This is what I want to create with this retreat and this is what gave me the idea of the topic tonight.

It's balance,

You know,

Like my life is basically I work with clients,

Two weeks a month,

And I have two weeks a month,

Where I don't work with clients.

Now I have plenty,

I always have stuff to do man I'm an active person so even when,

Like I haven't been feeling well as a lot of you know,

And even with my energy down and stuff like that there's always stuff to do.

I mean,

You know,

There's got to get the car worked on and I can do this over at the house and I can look into the new Starlink internet that's available over here in the Dominican now.

And I can look into it.

There's always stuff to research and I can run down to the beach and I can go to the waterfalls and I can,

You know,

There's always stuff to do.

So it's not about not having anything to do and plus I have my own business so there's stuff to do with the business too that is outside of just me working with clients.

So it's not like I'm just doing nothing and I'm just sitting around for those two weeks.

If I want to though I can.

I can literally sit around for two weeks or two weeks a month and do nothing if I wanted and I wouldn't have to reschedule anything,

Which is nice,

You know,

It's nice to have that.

And I understand that not everybody's going to be able to do this,

You know,

Work two weeks and have two weeks off,

Even though it's not completely off.

And,

You know,

Live in nature but what we can do is we can design whatever life works for you.

And that's balance,

You know,

So like if you really love nature and,

You know,

You live in a congested neighborhood or something and it just doesn't feed you.

Like,

Think outside the box,

Man,

Let's design the life that we want.

Most people,

You know,

Well,

Especially with the housing market,

Right?

Most people,

Like,

You can move,

Like you can do things to get your life more in the way that you want.

And most people don't think about it because it just so,

No,

Well,

I have to be like this,

I have to be like this.

Oh,

It'd be nice if I could do that.

Oh,

I wish I could just live.

You know how those posts about those little cabins,

You know,

Like,

How many times you see on social media,

People put these posts like,

I just want a simple life and they post this little cabin in the woods,

Right?

And they go,

This is all I want.

And they live like 10 miles away from a little plot of land that they could buy.

And they could sell their big house that they're in now and build their little cabin for probably half the price.

Like,

Why is simpler an impossibility?

This is how we look at it,

Right?

And this is what I'm trying to bring,

You know,

In the balanced life,

Like we can live simpler.

And if we live simpler,

It's easier to be in balance.

It's when,

You know,

If you want to get closer to the truth,

You simplify.

If you want to get further from the truth,

You complicate.

So simple,

You're more likely to be in balance.

The more complicated your life is and the faster it's moving,

The more likely you are to be out of balance.

You know,

So we've got to bring in structure and simplify things and look at things and stop,

You know,

Expand our mind a little bit.

Because like I said,

I mean,

Like a lot of times,

Most people say they want a happy life,

But they don't do anything to achieve it.

You know,

And especially now where a lot of people are working,

Working online,

Starting businesses online,

All this stuff,

The housing market's through the roof.

Like you can get a fortune for your house right now.

Yeah,

It might make a,

It might,

So this is an interest,

I'm going to give you an example of what I'm talking about right here.

Most people go,

Yes,

The housing market is through the roof right now.

Right.

So my house is normally worth,

I'm going to keep the numbers simple,

Okay.

So they might not be dead on,

But you'll get my point.

My house is normally worth $250,

000.

I could get $500,

000 for it right now.

Right.

They go,

Yeah,

But the house that I want,

You know,

That's priced high because of the housing market too.

So I'm not going to go,

I'm not going to go pay,

You know,

$250,

000 for a house that's only worth $125,

000.

I'm not going to do that.

Like why?

Why would you not do that?

Because think about the numbers for a minute.

This is what I mean.

People don't slow down and think about the numbers.

So if you have a house that's worth $250,

000 and,

You know,

Or let's just say the house that you want,

You could buy for $250,

000.

You know,

Well,

No,

That's what I said.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to stick with my numbers,

Even though they're not really realistic,

Probably.

So if you sell your house for $500,

000 and you buy your house,

Your new house for $250,

000,

Even though it's only worth $125,

000,

You buy it for $250,

000,

You just made a profit of $250,

000.

Right.

So let's look at the other side because that's the only way you can have clarity.

Right.

So what if you wait until the housing market goes down and then you sell your house for $250,

000 and you buy that other house for $125,

000?

Well,

Now you just profited $125,

000 instead of $250,

000.

So you just basically lost $125,

000.

You cut your profit in half with this example.

You see what I'm saying?

Like,

So the housing market right now is in your favor.

Even if you're going to rebuy,

It's still in your favor.

If everything goes up 50%,

Then everything's up 50%,

Including your profits.

You see?

But this is the type of thinking that we need to start doing or,

Well,

We don't need to start doing.

This is what I try to help people do.

Think outside the box.

Like,

If you make your peace and your happiness a priority and a balanced life,

This is how you can start working towards it.

Because a lot of people,

The reason that people don't move towards their balanced life is because for the most part,

They go,

I can't.

That's usually what I get from people.

Well,

I can't.

Well,

Why?

Well,

Because I have to work and I have to take the kids to soccer and I have to do this and I have to do that and I have to do this.

So,

I started my business when I was a single parent and my son was playing on three soccer teams sometimes.

I still did it.

There's a way to accomplish what you want to accomplish.

You know,

Long-term vision helps.

You're going to spend the next five years or ten years doing something.

So,

Why not spend it walking in the direction of what you want?

You know,

Instead of watching freaking,

What show is SVU or something?

I don't even know if they're still on or if that's the name of them,

Whatever.

But instead of watching,

You know,

Three hours of television,

Why don't you watch two hours of television and start researching different ways to achieve what you want?

Well,

I would like a house in the country.

Just a simple little house.

You know,

Like if you're anywhere near my age,

Like a lot of the empty nesters are,

This is the age we're at or a lot of us are.

So,

It's like,

You know,

Oh I wish I could downsize.

I wish I didn't have such a big lawn to mow or I didn't have to clean such a big house or I just want something more peaceful and quiet.

Go get it.

Go get it.

You know,

I mean you can get it.

You can downsize.

You know,

Think about it.

Having a two-bedroom house on a big lot of land as opposed to having a four-bedroom house in the middle of a busy neighborhood,

I mean the lot of land is probably going to be cheaper with a two-bedroom house.

It's got to be close,

You know.

So,

I mean,

Oh hey Janice,

No problem.

Have a good night.

Good to see you.

And hey Mike,

Thanks for tuning in.

Yeah,

The retreat experience is awesome.

I agree with you.

But my point is,

You know,

The life that we want is more accessible than we think it is.

So,

We have to start working towards this stuff and look at the life you're trying to design.

It should have some balance,

You know.

Yes,

It can include finances and having to work.

But are there adjustments that you can make there?

Can you work from home?

Can you work from home most days and only travel to the office,

You know,

One day a week or something?

You know,

With the workforce the way it is right now,

With everybody quitting their jobs,

It's giving us more control and more power over our own lives.

And we really need to start cashing in on that.

Ride this wave because that will actually give it energy and keep it going in a positive direction.

Right now,

You know,

People,

Businesses are being hit hard because the employees for the first time in human history are gaining power.

It's the first time in history where enough people have quit and said no more of the crappy way that I've been treated,

The underpay,

All this crap.

It's the first time that enough people have done it to really knock the power out of whack,

You know.

We're getting out of the age that our parents and our grandparents and we even lived in most of our lives,

Which is fear-based.

Oh my God,

You have to have your job,

You have to have your job.

No,

No,

Go get another one.

You know,

Or people like,

Oh my God,

You're a good worker.

If you're a good worker,

I'm like,

I've always been a good worker.

If you're a good worker,

You have so much power right now because people are understanding that it takes a lot of money to train people and to lose you is going to be a big blow.

And then they're probably going to hire a bunch of people that don't want to work at all.

And then it's just a big nightmare.

So this time,

I'm telling you,

The value that the workers have now is like no other time in history.

And the more we lean into that,

The better.

And we should,

Like,

Why should CEOs make hundreds of millions of dollars or tens of millions of dollars while we struggle?

Why?

What,

What,

What,

You know?

Oh,

That's life.

No,

It ain't.

Like those days are over.

We are creating a new paradigm.

We're creating a new,

Even playing field.

If you work hard,

You should be able to take wonderful vacations and you should be able to have a nice little house with two cars.

And you shouldn't be struggling to make ends meet and have your credit cards maxed out.

Those days are ending.

And we're heading in the right direction.

So if you lean into this,

This is,

You know,

That's what's going to keep this wave going.

We need more and more people creating the life of their dreams.

And this is what,

It's a grassroots movement.

It's a new,

We are creating a new paradigm and we're living it.

And this is what I mean.

This is why I'm excited to,

You know,

I mean,

You don't have to move to the Dominican Republic,

But I mean,

Hey,

Why not some of you?

Like,

I can't,

You know,

I mean,

Don't just move.

You've got to go places.

And the Dominican isn't the only place.

You've got to see if it's right for you.

It's not right for everybody,

You know?

But I mean,

Like,

I think,

You know,

I was talking to my sister today and,

You know,

She was like,

Do you plan on staying over there for the rest of your life?

I'm like,

Yeah,

Probably.

You know,

Just,

I don't know for sure.

I mean,

I'm always open to change,

But I mean,

Probably just because why?

Like,

Why would I go back?

You know,

I mean,

I'll travel probably more to visit my son and my family,

You know,

A little bit more than I have the first couple of years here.

But I mean,

Move back?

Why?

Like,

So I can go over there and struggle?

Like,

I mean,

You know,

The,

Let's just put it this way.

My retirement picture looks much better.

And I don't even know if I'll ever retire.

But what I mean by that is my old,

You know,

Like living as I get older without any stress.

That looks much better here than if my bills were four times as much.

Because that's basically what it is.

I mean,

I'm,

You know,

I'm in the unique situation over here,

Worked out really beautifully for me.

But I mean,

Really,

My bills are about 25% of what they were in the United States.

My cost of living.

It's insane.

I mean,

And I love it.

So why would I,

You know,

But that's just for me.

But we,

We all,

I want people to come experience this and expand their mind.

You know,

Travel a little like when you go on vacation,

Take a day or two days or three days,

If you could,

To not just sit in a freaking lawn chair,

Man.

And just have umbrella drinks brought to you.

Like,

I mean,

You know,

I understand,

I think that there's nothing wrong with the decompression aspect of that.

I think it's helpful in some ways.

So I get it.

But I mean,

You're in different countries,

Take in some of the culture,

Explore,

Have somebody,

Have somebody like,

You know,

Hire a taxi driver to that's reputable from your resort to go take you like places to look at some places that are for sale or something just and talk to a couple neighbors.

People are actually friendly in other countries.

Like,

Like if if somebody did that here,

Right,

Like if somebody was staying at a resort,

And they took a taxi over to like a couple property areas that I know down in Cabaret Day,

Let's say by the beach,

And they just walk through the neighborhood.

You could have five different conversations with people that live there for hours.

They would tell you all about their place.

This is how people are over here.

It's wonderful.

You know,

But explore things,

Think outside the box.

I mean,

There's living over here is so much more inexpensive than living over there.

If you can work online,

Great.

I mean,

A lot of people like you could,

If you want,

Especially if you want to live in the mountains and build something,

You could build something for 100 grand and be good.

Land and house.

You're good for the rest of your life as far as where you're living.

I mean,

Expand our mind.

Think about my point is,

You know,

I know I keep coming into balance,

But I feel I got to tie it in a little bit more to why I keep using that word.

I keep using that word because it's,

You know,

It's not just about the external things,

But those external things can support the balanced life that we have.

And what we need to start doing is bringing our consciousness to this a little bit more and going like,

You know,

Break out a piece of paper and write down like,

Okay,

You know,

What would a balanced life look like to me?

What would include,

You know,

Lisa said peace and my answer.

Okay,

What would a peaceful life look like to you?

If that's what you want,

What would a peaceful,

Happy,

Balanced life look like?

And literally put it down.

Like,

Okay,

I want,

You know,

And try to be somewhat reasonable with it.

I mean,

You know,

If you say I want a 10 bedroom house in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors for 3000 acres,

And I want it all paid for and no mortgage payments,

And I have $1,

000 in savings right now.

Well,

You know,

That might be a big fence to swing for,

You know,

But so try to keep it realistic,

Even if it's a stepping stone to where you're going.

You know,

If you can do with less seriously consider downsizing right now.

Seriously consider it,

Why not?

You know,

It's a great time to do it.

And your mortgage goes down,

You know,

Like this is what I mean most people's dreams if they really looked into them,

It would make their life more manageable.

So they could work less,

Either now or less number of years,

Because they'd be able to save more because their bills are less.

The things that are important in life are not real expensive.

You know,

Everything that people say what brings them happiness.

Most of the time,

It's not real expensive.

Or people want to travel,

Even the way you travel sometimes like,

Like,

I've,

Quite honestly,

You know,

I mean,

I was an alcoholic for 20 years,

And then I was a single parent for 17 struggling job to job and then starting a business.

So I mean,

I've been scraping for money,

Basically my whole life,

When people like normal people that actually followed society's way of doing things and did the right things in their lives,

As opposed to being drunk for 20 years.

You know,

When I hear those people talk about vacations,

Like a lot of times what they would they'd be like,

Well,

Yeah,

You know,

I mean,

For,

You know,

Two of us to go on vacation for a week,

That's about $5,

000,

You know,

Or $10,

000.

Or I don't even remember what they said.

But I remember going,

My jaw dropping is like,

When Mateo and I went on vacation,

I mean,

We weren't spending that.

You know,

I was figuring out how to wiggle it around school vacations.

But yeah,

I had to have a miss one or two days of school too.

Because if I didn't,

The plane prices were tripled,

The airfare.

So I would,

You know,

I would,

So what I actually ended up doing was taking like 10 and 14 day vacations with Mateo.

And they were actually cheaper than seven day vacations,

Because I didn't,

Like I went outside the school vacation dates,

Because they,

You know,

The,

The airplane companies,

Airlines,

They know all that.

So,

You know,

So the prices are triple during,

During this,

You know,

So like,

I mean,

I would spend,

You know,

Maybe I would get flights a lot of times like,

Well,

Around school vacation was still a little high.

I used to get flights from Florida to New England for 200,

250 regularly around school vacations,

Maybe 350 or something.

So you're looking at 700.

I could rent a car for a week for 200 bucks.

I'd go online and search,

You know,

I'd like,

You know,

I'd stay at my friend Brian's all the time,

You know,

And there'd be a pool and we could drive to the beach and it was great for a kid,

You know,

He had a kid the same age,

So that,

You know,

He had somebody to hang out with,

He could go jump in a pool all day,

I could sit around.

It was great.

I mean,

We had great vacations and,

You know,

I mean,

I probably spent maybe 1500 bucks,

Like for two of us,

Maybe less,

Probably less.

So my point is,

It's,

You know,

This type of thinking is kind of second nature to me because I've lived it a lot.

I've had to,

I've had to,

You know,

Find ways,

You know,

Like I said,

My son played on three soccer teams sometimes,

Competitive teams.

You know,

So like,

I mean,

I took money,

Like,

Man,

I can stretch a dollar like nobody.

Man,

I can,

It's amazing,

You know.

Yeah,

Staycations,

You know,

That's a good point,

Nicole.

She just mentioned staycations.

You know what I know,

I've noticed many times,

Not so much over here,

But in the States,

There are so many things to do within driving.

Within driving distance of houses,

Like where people live that we've never done,

You know,

Florida,

All kinds of natural springs and caves and all kinds of stuff that I didn't even know and I lived there many years.

Again,

A lot of those years were as a drunk,

So,

You know,

I didn't do a lot of intelligent things.

But Massachusetts,

Rhode Island,

All kinds of things to do within driving distance.

You know,

Staycations are great.

There's so many ways to enjoy our life that we can do.

And a lot of them are free,

You know,

Like in Rhode Island,

I used to go to,

I used to take Mateo to Purgatory Chasm and just climb the rocks all day,

You know,

And get an ice cream at the little truck for $3.

You know,

And that was a day,

Man.

Or drive up to Mount Madanock in New Hampshire,

Climb that,

Come back down,

Stop and the only thing I paid for was,

I think they might charge you like seven bucks to climb the mountain or something for like a carload maybe,

But it's very cheap.

And then,

You know,

Stop and grab something to eat on the way home.

That's it.

Like there is so many ways to fulfill your life and make it more balanced by doing things around you,

By expanding your vacations so you actually expand your mind,

Like while you're there and understand,

Like if you're even thinking about moving to a different country.

That's what I was talking about.

Like get outside of the resort a little bit,

You know,

And explore maybe a little,

See what the options are.

Explore online,

Find some houses that are for sale,

Even if you're not ready to buy that are like you could be like,

Hey,

This could be in my range several years down the road,

And then just go look at them,

You know,

While you're there one day.

If,

You know,

Just expand your mind into these things,

Start trying to find a way,

Start putting action,

Start acting like a balanced life is your priority,

And then you will have a balanced life if you start taking action and acting like having a balanced life is a priority.

You know,

Like just spend 30 minutes or an hour a day or a few times a week researching stuff,

Looking into things,

Having conversations with people about how to achieve whatever you want in your life.

Boy,

I'd really like more downtime,

Really?

Start having conversations with people about having more downtime.

No,

And you know,

People that are helpful,

Not people that are going to sit there and go,

Oh,

We all wish we had freaking downtime,

You know?

No,

People that are actually helpful,

That can think outside the box and actually,

You know,

Try to sit down,

You could form mastermind groups to explore different ways that you all help each other.

So you have multiple perspectives.

This is such a joy in community,

Having multiple perspectives.

You know,

Get your friends together and all be like,

Hey,

Do you want to design your life differently?

And then get together on a call once a week or once a month and just spitball ideas about how to achieve what each one of you wants to achieve.

And you go through,

You go around the list of four or five different friends and you go,

Okay,

This is what do I want to achieve,

But I don't know how to achieve it.

Do you guys have any ideas?

And then they all give ideas for that one.

Then you go to the next person,

You know?

And you know,

Who knows,

Maybe I could even go in there on a mastermind group if you guys form this.

Let me know,

Email me.

But you know,

Like,

It's very simple.

People look at my life and so many people think I'm lucky,

Man.

Oh,

God,

That goes right up my ass sideways.

I'm not lucky.

I designed this.

It was intentional.

I didn't even like I didn't know that there was going to be a house in the mountains of VR like this.

I didn't know this,

But I knew what I wanted.

I wanted peace.

I wanted to be in nature.

I wanted a simple life.

I wanted to be in a quiet spot.

And then all of a sudden,

A place that has all those things presented itself at extremely low rent.

And I went back,

You know,

I was here three months living down by the beach and I went to the person who owned,

You know,

And I had a year lease.

And I went to this to my landlord at the time and I explained what I just found.

And she says,

Oh,

She's like,

Does this mean you're going to move up there?

And I looked at her.

I was like,

I think I have to.

I mean,

How could I not move up there?

You know,

Like,

I mean,

This is it's everything that I wanted just being handed to me.

Like,

How could I not,

You know?

So I had to pay a penalty to get out of my lease.

Well,

You know,

I'll make that penalty back.

I'm sure I made that penalty back within the first year,

You know?

I mean,

It sucked that I had to pay it,

But,

You know,

I understand.

So it's,

You know,

So I took a little hit to get to where I wanted to be.

But it's that long term thinking,

Oh,

I'll make it back over here and I'll be in a more peaceful environment.

Sweet.

You know?

You guys can do this stuff in your lives.

You guys can make the adjustments.

Sometimes it might be changing a job.

Sometimes it might be cutting back on your hours.

Sometimes it might be starting your own business on the side.

And having that grow so eventually you can drop what you don't like doing or maybe you like doing it,

But you don't like doing it for somebody else.

So like it's,

You know,

Start building the life that you want intentionally and you will get there.

Because if you don't,

You're just going to end up where you are now,

Five or 10 years from now.

But if you start designing the life that you want,

You'd be surprised when you're heading towards your heartfelt desires and what you really want.

The universe supports you.

God supports you.

So you'd be amazed.

Like I said,

I didn't know.

I didn't come find this house.

It found me.

So like,

You know,

If you put energy towards things,

All of a sudden things start falling into place.

And situations arise that you never would have guessed.

And it's like,

Oh my God,

You know,

But you have to do that.

See,

Like the thing that keeps most people stuck is that they want to see how everything works out perfectly in their favor before they'll take step one.

And that's how people stay stuck.

Well,

You know,

Yeah,

Well,

Maybe I could sell my house,

But I don't know of any house that I could buy.

And they're probably expensive.

And they talk themselves right out of it,

You know,

Without doing the research.

It's like research people look into this stuff.

It's a lot more possible than you realize.

So,

You know,

When you start putting energy into something,

Then you're supported.

Like,

And my life is a perfect example.

This has happened in just about every area.

Because like I said,

I've been basically broke my whole life.

So I haven't had the ability to just go do what I want.

Like I didn't stop.

I was collecting food stamps when I started my business.

I didn't just like,

Oh,

Must be nice to start your own business.

Like,

No,

Man,

I had to figure it out.

I wasn't handed anything.

But what I did was I thought outside the box.

I just kept going,

Like,

How can I make this happen?

What can I do?

You know,

And some of it didn't work out.

I was telling my son the other day,

Like years ago,

This was 13 years ago,

Maybe more.

I built a website where I had to learn HTML code and all this stuff and created a drop shipping website for spiritual books and CDs and stuff like this.

And somebody gave me,

I had this idea,

Somebody gave me the software and I and then disappeared.

So I had to figure out how to take this software,

Create a website before they're just all drag and drop and get the software in there,

Connect it all,

Connect it with the frickin postal service for shipping automatically calculating and all that.

It was oh my God.

It was a lot of work.

I worked on that like daily in my spare time.

I'd have the Red Sox game in the background and I'd be doing this stuff.

That's what I would do instead of sitting there watching mindless shows.

And it took me a long time and I got it up and running.

And that's when I realized that marketing is a big frickin deal.

I couldn't sell anything.

You know,

Like nobody was finding my website and they could buy it cheaper on Amazon and other places.

So like it didn't,

You know,

It flopped.

But what it was was me working towards a goal.

It was me working towards having my own business,

Working towards not working for somebody else.

So that didn't work.

But then I started a personal training business with group exercise outside.

And guess what?

That failed too.

You know,

And then so then I think the next business I started was the one that I have now.

But it didn't look like a life coaching business.

It was more personal training than anything,

You know.

So I mean,

My point is,

Is that like if we pay attention to what we don't have,

That's all we're going to see.

And if we sit there waiting and go,

Well,

I'm not going to take I'm not going to put any energy until I know that it's going to work out.

Well,

We're going to stay stuck.

Like I didn't know my business was going to work out.

The last two I told you about just failed.

So why is this one going to work out?

Well,

I don't know,

But I'm leaning.

I was leaning in the direction of what I wanted.

And then finally,

It came to fruition.

You know,

And my business became more of what I want.

Supporting me.

So you guys can do this with businesses.

You can do this with possibly changing jobs.

You can do this.

You know,

A lot of people,

Well,

I've been at this job for 20 years.

Yeah,

But they treat you like crap.

You have 20 years experience.

Why don't you go somewhere else?

Why don't you just look?

Just look.

People don't even look to see if there's better options out there.

You know,

If you have 20 years of experience in this job market,

People are like,

People want people who can actually do the job and that have consistency on their record.

They're craving that.

They would love to have you.

They might even give you a signing bonus.

You might get a raise and you might be able to work from home if you want.

You know,

Like,

I mean,

Just explore.

Look into things.

Look into things.

Look into things and think the things that are right can start falling into place.

So maybe you'll work a little bit less.

Maybe you'll downsize into a simpler home in a more peaceful environment.

Maybe you'll take more vacations if that's what you want.

You know,

Maybe you'll have more downtime so you can spend it with the grandkids.

Maybe you can sit on your butt and go fishing more or gardening,

Like whatever,

Whatever you want.

Make the joyful and peaceful and the happy parts of your life a priority.

They have to be in there and you have to work towards them because and that's where the balance is.

This is why I keep using the word balance is because most people are out of balance.

They think work is everything and they wish it was different.

Well,

Work isn't everything and you don't have to wish.

You just have to live intentionally.

You know,

I've done it.

Other people have done it.

So what's the difference?

It's just about putting effort towards it.

That's all.

It's about putting effort towards and it doesn't take that much.

I say this all the time.

I mean,

You can start a business,

Change your life in 30 minutes a day average.

You know,

That's what,

Three and a half hours a week.

You take three and a half hours a week or seven hours a week.

You can literally change your life by pursuing whatever you want during that time.

And,

You know,

I'm going to end with this just to put it in perspective.

If we sleep,

You know,

I say this every once in a while.

If we sleep eight hours and we work eight hours,

That means we have eight hours left in the day.

I'm just saying one of them.

To create a balanced life that's more enjoyable for you.

That's it.

Just one hour a day.

And you got seven more to do whatever else you got to do.

And that usually blows people's mind when they look at that.

They're like,

Wait,

I have eight hours of free time.

How is that possible?

I'm busy all the time.

Well,

This right.

We need to structure a little bit.

We need to slow down and bring some structure into our lives.

So because we're doing a bunch of stuff that we don't need to be doing.

That's a fact.

We do it.

All of us do it,

You know,

So we keep ourselves busy.

It's,

You know,

It's so we don't slow down and feel the uncomfortability bubbling up within us from living a life that we don't enjoy.

But you can find an hour.

It's just if I can do it,

Anybody can do it because I had just as busy a life as anybody.

So.

So all right,

Peeps.

Well,

That's going to do it for tonight.

But just.

You know,

Please start thinking outside the box.

We are at a very unique time in human history right now.

Where you have more power in the job fields,

The job markets than you ever have before.

So explore different job possibilities.

Explore.

It's much easier to start a business than ever before.

Explore that if that's something you're interested in.

The housing market is through the roof.

Explore downsizing and moving to a more peaceful place if that's what would bring you joy.

It's easier to move to other countries.

Explore expat websites,

Expat dot com,

Expats in Facebook groups.

You know,

There's all kinds of Web sites and Facebook groups and and all kinds of stuff for every country around to find out information about moving to other countries and working remotely.

Or just retiring to other countries.

You know,

It's it's just the world is filled with possibilities.

And it's and they're expanding and expanding and expanding.

So like,

Just,

You know,

Take my word for it,

Man.

Because I've done it.

Lean into the life,

The balanced life.

So you and I say balance because,

Yeah,

I get it.

Most people still have to work,

So I'm not throwing that out.

So,

Yeah,

You got your work.

But you can might you might be able to shape your work to where you can fit in more of these other things.

So you have a more balanced life that's more peaceful and more happy.

So that's what I wish for you.

And I want you to know that it's possible.

And let me know if I can help you.

And good luck and good night.

I am signing off.

I believe.

Yeah,

I think that's it.

All right,

People.

Thanks for watching and listening and peace.

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