Givers And Takers: Part 1

In this episode Glenn discusses the relationship dynamics of givers and takers, and how to create a healthy balance between the two. Glenn advises on how we all deserve to put ourselves first by ridding negativity and toxic or advantageous people from our lives.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hello everyone,

Welcome to the show.

Today we are talking about givers and takers,

Right man?

Absolutely.

So what spawned this episode idea for you?

For me,

This was actually a comment on Insight Timer,

Which a lot of people listen to.

Something caught my attention one day,

Like a couple weeks ago,

And it was this guy Shane from Australia,

And he made a comment about givers and takers,

And why do givers attract takers because then they're just going to take advantage of them,

And stuff like that.

So I made a comment on it,

And we kind of went back and forth a little bit,

And it became kind of interesting,

You know?

And of course,

Doing this podcast,

I was like,

Hey,

I think we just came up with the next podcast idea.

So yeah,

He was just kind of talking about the dynamic between givers and takers,

And my take on it,

My take on it,

Get it?

See what I did there?

My take on it is that nobody's actually a giver or a taker by nature.

It's just we've developed ways of being that have worked for us when we're younger,

And somebody that gives too much,

Just like somebody that takes too much,

Is just not aware of the cycle of giving and taking.

Because if you're constantly taking,

Then you're not aware that you need to give to complete the cycle.

It's a full circle cycle.

You have to give to receive,

And then give and receive,

And give and receive,

And that will continue forever.

But if you're doing one or the other,

Then you're not replenishing the supply,

And it will burn out.

Would you say that everyone to some extent falls into this,

You know,

Everybody leans more towards one side or the other?

As a general rule,

Yes.

Because of whatever their circumstances were,

You kind of just,

It's a,

You're not predisposed to being a giver or a taker,

But you are,

Your surroundings dictate it,

And then you tend to fall into this pattern,

And if you're not conscious of it,

You continue to travel down that road and become further and further into one side versus the other.

Absolutely.

You know,

And I think there's,

Especially my audience,

Most people that are listening to a podcast like this are going to fall into the giver category.

It's just,

There's not a lot of people who are completely caught up in taking,

Taking,

Taking,

Taking,

That are really focused on self-improvement,

You know?

So it's usually the givers that are more caught up,

And then that's the victim mentality,

You know,

Oh poor me.

Right.

Now there's two things that I really want to address here.

One is,

If there are givers and takers,

It is clear to,

And it should be clear to most of the people listening who consider themselves to be givers,

That there is a protagonist and an antagonist in this story,

And it is better to be the giver,

And therefore most people would probably consider themselves givers,

Because you're,

Most people consider themselves the protagonist of their own story.

So in a general situation,

If you're the giver,

You're probably aware of it,

And if you're the taker,

I would assume that you're probably unaware of it.

I would say that's more true than not.

Because if you were taking,

You give consciously.

That's what I,

I think that you give consciously,

And I think that if you are a constant taker who is not replenishing that,

It's probably more unconscious.

Do you agree with that or no?

Yes,

Most of it I would agree with.

I think I agree with your statement.

I just think that there's a little aspect of it,

Because that needs some fine tuning.

Like,

I agree with the general idea of that,

But to say somebody who gives is conscious,

I think that that's where it goes off a little bit.

Okay,

That's fair.

You know,

Just because if they were consciously giving,

Then they wouldn't have a problem.

They wouldn't be out of balance,

You know?

So people who,

So they're giving,

But they're giving unconsciously.

They're not really,

I mean,

They know that they're givers,

And they know that they give,

But so in that way they're conscious of it,

So that's where I agree with you.

But in another way,

They're kind of not doing it consciously,

Because they're out of balance.

And if you were doing,

If you do anything consciously,

You're not out of balance.

So you'd be doing it to a healthy level if you were conscious of your,

Fully conscious of your behavior.

But yeah,

It's more in the forefront of their mind.

They'll be like,

Oh yeah,

People who are givers will generally admit and know that they're givers,

Whereas people who are takers probably aren't even aware that they're takers.

Yes.

So yeah,

So I agree with your general statement.

It's just whenever somebody's doing something in a dysfunctional way,

I can't call them conscious,

You know,

Because it's such a large aspect of unconsciousness that's making them do what they're doing in an unhealthy way.

So let's focus first,

I think this is where you were going,

Let's focus first on the givers.

Yeah.

Because they're,

I feel like,

I don't know,

In my experience,

Because I would consider myself a giver,

More so than a taker.

And I would agree with that.

And I would say that I give more willingly more than it is asked for by a taker.

I give before it's asked.

I give things that are not asked.

Right.

And so I wouldn't put that on,

I wouldn't necessarily put the amount that I put into giving something on the taker for being a taker.

Right.

And that's just because I think that your consciousness level is rising.

So you're understanding that you can't blame the taker.

Whereas a lot of people aren't there.

You know,

They're giving and they're wondering why nobody's giving back to them.

They're wondering why the taker keeps taking.

And they're completely unconscious.

They're just,

I give,

Give,

Give,

And nobody gives back to me.

It's like,

Well,

You know,

That's because it's way out of whack.

But they,

You know,

Generally people who give,

You know,

Their heart's in the right place.

So they wear that as a badge of honor.

You know,

They're like,

Well,

I'm a giver,

So I must be a good person.

And the taker must be a bad person.

And you know,

When's my turn?

It's like,

Well,

Nobody gives you your turn.

You know,

You have to take your turn.

And it's,

You know,

When you're just giving,

Giving,

Giving,

That's your role.

That's what everybody sees.

You know,

It's like,

I don't know if this is the best example,

But it just popped into my head,

Like,

My son and I will play cards sometimes.

And,

And like,

He,

When he was younger,

He didn't like to shuffle,

Because he wasn't good at it.

His hands were little and he didn't like to shuffle.

So I would shuffle.

And if I shuffled,

A lot of times I'd deal because the cards were in my hand,

And it was easier,

You know.

So I'd be sitting there.

So I get into the habit of shuffling,

And it's just,

That became my role.

I shuffle and I deal,

And that's the end of it.

You know,

And it just,

And he just allows me,

He just allows me to shuffle.

So it's,

You know,

Because we've got different roles and he just plays his and I play mine.

And it's,

You know,

Whatever.

So it's,

But he has to,

You know,

I either have to stand up and go,

Hey,

Wait a minute.

You know,

You now you're older.

He's older now,

You know.

So it's like,

Here,

You,

It's your turn.

It's your turn to shuffle.

Well,

The only way that that pattern is going to get broken is if I break it,

Because he just sits back and relaxes and I do my role.

I shuffle and deal,

You know,

So it's,

So to break that pattern,

I have to stand up and go,

Wait a minute,

Because he's,

He's kind of the taker in that situation.

So he's not going to say,

No,

You know,

Let,

Let me do more work.

Right.

He's just unconsciously sitting back going,

This is no idea that it,

That this is just the way that it is.

And it was your choice for it to be the way that it is.

So why?

Yeah,

It doesn't even cross his mind.

He doesn't,

He isn't,

You know,

And I think kids are a good example of this because they don't necessarily look at their parents like a human,

You know,

It's just this person that's there to take care of them all the time,

You know,

And they don't really see them as a person sometimes.

So my son doesn't sit there and go,

Geez,

You know,

My dad's been shuffling and dealing for quite a while,

But my dad's been doing the dishes since I was little.

Maybe I should help now.

No,

They don't do that.

It's not their role.

It never even crosses their mind.

So I shouldn't be sitting there acting like a victim going,

Oh my God,

You know,

Do you believe my son's 16 and he won't even help me with the dishes?

Well,

No,

If that were the case,

And it's not because I have him help me with the dishes,

But that was me saying,

Hey,

You need to help.

You're getting older now.

You need to help out,

You know?

So I set that condition on because I'm the giver and he's the taker.

So as the giver,

I need to set the limits.

I need to say,

Okay,

I'm done doing this for you.

Now it's your turn because it's in my,

It's in my sight.

It's in the front of my mind.

I'm sitting there thinking,

Wait a minute,

I've given enough.

When that message comes into my head,

I need to act on it and I need to let the taker know because the taker is just sitting back and joining and they have no idea what your limit is.

You know,

That's the,

Um,

I think my friend Brian Reed had said this to me originally.

He said the giver sets the limits,

Not the taker,

You know,

So you can't,

And I love the looking at this from a bank account.

You know,

If you had somebody just taking money and you were giving it and you said,

Hey taker,

Um,

Just stop taking money out of my account when it's the right time and they have no idea what your balance is.

How are they going to know when to stop taking?

They can't,

They don't know what your balance is.

So they don't know when to stop taking money.

And it's the same thing with everything else.

We have a,

We're supposed to keep our own balance and we can give,

But when,

When we're hitting our,

Our balance level,

We need to let the taker know that it's time to stop,

You know,

Be like,

Okay,

No,

That's enough,

You know,

And,

And that's our role.

And if the taker gets upset,

Well,

That's,

That's fine.

That's not our,

That's not our issue.

So let's talk about the power dynamic because that was something that was brought up in the,

In the comment that spurred the conversation.

The power dynamic between a giver and a taker.

I think that from a giver's point of view,

The taker has all the power.

Why wouldn't they?

They get everything.

Yeah.

You know,

Um,

But.

And that's the problem.

And that's the problem.

Yeah.

The giver,

Not,

Not all givers,

But there is a,

There is like a natural level of resentment that builds up when you're the giver and you don't,

You're,

You don't feel like you're receiving anything in return because most givers are not giving unconditionally.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

And that's a big love aspect of their unconsciousness of their behavior.

They think they're just,

You know,

Being this wonderful person,

Giving,

Giving,

Giving,

But in the back of their mind,

They're keeping score and going,

You know,

Okay,

When I need something,

This person needs to be there for me now.

You know,

And then,

And a lot of takers aren't capable of being there for somebody because they're takers,

They're not givers.

I think that a lot of takers are conditioned to not have to be there.

Right.

So it never even occurs to them that that would be a thing.

No,

And they don't,

They,

Usually they're more self-absorbed and they're just kind of focused on what's going on in their world.

And then,

Then,

You know,

And,

And like,

If you,

That's,

What's funny is a giver will sit there and give to a taker,

Taker,

Taker,

You know,

And they'll,

They'll be sitting there and then all of a sudden they'll want to receive and they're like,

Are you kidding me?

This person,

You know,

Just takes and takes and takes and they never give.

Right.

You've seen that over the last 10 years that they never give,

They always take.

So why do you think that they're supposed,

They're suddenly going to give to you because it's your time of need?

Have you ever seen them give to anybody else?

They don't give.

They just don't do that.

You know,

So,

And maybe in defense to takers,

Maybe they do give to somebody else.

Oh yeah.

I mean,

I'm sure they do in some level,

Right?

Maybe I mean,

I don't think that it's as black and white as if you're a giver,

You give to everyone and you don't take,

I think that,

And,

And you can be the dynamic of your,

Of person A and person B and person B is relationship can be the person A is the giver and person B is the taker.

And then between person B and person C,

Person B gives to C and then C takes.

Right.

It can,

It can go into that and it's,

You're right.

It's not black and white.

I mean,

Especially if,

If A is giving everything to B,

Everything that they have to be,

And then B doesn't,

Isn't worried about A,

Right.

Has the ability to give to C,

Right?

You know,

Because they're not worried about the power structure or the dynamic in this relationship is such that the taker doesn't feel like they have to worry about anything.

Right.

So then they are freed up to concern themselves with this other situation.

Right.

And I mean,

And that goes on for every relationship that you have in your life.

Right.

And again,

With parents a lot of times,

Parents give to their children.

And then a lot of times if a child is in a,

You know,

An adult child is in a relationship with somebody,

It's like,

Okay,

Well,

Well,

The parent gives to their kid and their kid gives to the person that they're in a relationship with,

You know,

And it,

So it just gets passed down.

But I mean,

That's one thing.

And the other thing too is,

You know,

We're talking black and white because that's the easiest way to understand the point.

Right.

And there is complete gray area and most people are in that gray area.

Very,

I mean,

I don't know of anybody that's a hundred percent giver and somebody else that's a hundred percent taker.

We always have different versions.

You know,

One person's 90-10,

The other person's 60-40.

You know,

I mean,

It's all over the map and there's actually people who are well balanced in this world that are 50-50.

You know,

But to see the dysfunction of it,

It's easier to talk in black and white.

And then you know me pretty well.

Am I,

Am I pretty black and white with this?

Well,

You definitely give her more than a taker.

I mean,

I don't think anybody would dispute that.

I mean,

As I look around me and I see most people be different,

Different categories in different relationships completely.

Yeah.

I mean,

It's,

And that's why,

Like if you're,

If you're at like 90% taker and 10% giver,

That is going,

That's so out of balance that if you lived every relationship like that,

You'd probably be pretty much alone because after some point people are just going to not want to be around you.

You know,

And I think that the same could be said about givers.

If you're,

If you're 90 to 10% giver,

Then your level of resentment and your level of resentment,

The other end,

And the takers,

The pressure to receive that the taker feels even from you.

Like I think that when it's so out of balance,

The codependency between the giver and the taker is so,

Is,

Is,

Is toxic for both people because Yeah.

It has to blow up at some point.

Because the giver continues to give when they don't want to,

Because that's their role and they have to,

And that's how they feel power or whatever,

You know,

That's how they feel good about themselves.

Right.

Is to,

Is to give,

To be the better person,

To be the right person,

To,

To be the martyr.

Yeah,

And then they blow their stack and they go,

I can't just keep giving to you all the time.

And the other person's like,

What?

All right.

What's your problem?

I never asked you to give me this.

I,

Why are you,

Why am I now,

Why am I being demonized?

Right.

Because you went out of your way to be ridiculous and give.

Yeah.

And give and give and give.

Right.

And you know,

And that's why like when you touched on it earlier,

It was so important.

It's like we,

We have to monitor our own behaviors.

It's you know,

We have to,

We have to like putting demonizing the takers,

The takers aren't the problem.

You know,

The,

The biggest problem is the givers because they're not in,

Like if you don't have a bunch of out of whack givers,

Then guess what?

You don't have a bunch of out of whack takers because who are they going to take from?

You know,

They can't,

They don't have any,

You know,

The givers are the ones who are in possession.

They are the ones that are in control of the situation,

You know,

And that's,

That's what's ironic about it is because the givers run around feeling like they're good people and oh,

Well I'm,

I'm the good side of the thing because it's better to give than to receive.

No,

It's not better to give than to receive.

It's the same.

You know,

It's the same.

You have to give and receive,

Give and receive.

That completes the cycle.

So,

So you're,

A giver is in complete control of the situation,

But what they do is they hand the control over to the taker and then,

You know,

Then they jump up and down going poor me,

I can't believe,

You know,

What's happened to me.

It's like,

Well,

You have all the power and you gave it away to somebody who doesn't know what your limits are.

And then now you're wondering why it's all out of whack.

It's so,

So the giver has the control.

They need to set the boundaries.

They need to set the healthy limits and they need to learn how to receive too.

You teach people how to treat you.

Yes.

So,

And you set your own boundaries that are healthy for you.

Your happiness is your responsibility.

Your life is your responsibility.

Your energy is your responsibility.

Your bank account is your responsibility.

What you give to others is your responsibility.

Everything is your responsibility.

So,

To run around handing your life over to other people and wondering why they screwed up,

That's the problem.

Right.

You know?

So,

Take control over your own life and your own,

What you're giving and also spend a lot of time learning to receive.

That's a big aspect of it too.

And then you think that as a giver,

You give and then you can be hurt or resentful or feel victimized that you are not getting the level that you give back from the taker.

So then you give more to A,

Feel better about yourself and B,

Feel like you're going to earn the receipt.

Well look at me.

I'm a giver.

So I must be good.

And that,

You know,

If I,

Okay,

Well,

They're not responding the way that I want.

You know,

They're not giving me back what I think that I deserve back.

So what I'm going to do is instead of creating a healthy boundary,

I'm going to give even more because then if I give even more,

They have no other option.

It's going to be so obvious.

It's so overwhelmingly,

I'm so overwhelmingly great.

I'm so nice.

I've given so much.

They have to reciprocate.

Right.

But they don't.

No,

Because that's not their role.

Their role is to receive.

So they just sit there receiving.

And then you go,

Well,

Don't you see this?

See what?

You know,

It's just,

That's the unconsciousness of it.

It's just an unconscious dynamic.

People that just fall into roles and they just do whatever that role is.

And it's,

You know,

They're not looking and going,

You know,

When you fall into a pattern of receiving from somebody,

You don't sit there and all of a sudden go,

Well,

Geez,

I'm getting what I want.

What do I need to adjust here?

What do I need to change?

I'm getting what I want.

So let's figure out how to change it.

No,

People figure out how to change things that aren't working.

This is working.

So why would they stop it and try to figure out how to change it?

You know,

It's just,

It doesn't occur to them.

That's why consciousness is such a big deal.

It's just paying attention to what you're doing.

Like if you,

This is,

This is so obvious if you slow down and you look at it.

It's just like everything else in life.

But you know,

75% of the world's walking around out there,

Not paying attention to this and living out of balance and wondering why they're not happy and why their life isn't going the way they want it to and why people aren't treating them the way they want.

And they're just running around doing the same thing because they believe some saying that they heard when they were four in church that said it's better to give than receive.

And they don't understand what that means,

Truly.

They don't really understand what that means.

And they don't understand why it was a saying and all this stuff.

And they just hinge on that and say,

Okay,

If I'm going to be considered a good person,

I just have to give,

Give,

Give,

Give,

Give.

And it's like,

Well,

That's how would that possibly work well in,

In a realistic situation?

Because if you're a giver and you're so out of whack that you're not receiving and you're not receiving enough,

Then you're not replenishing yourself.

And to use the bank account analogy that you have,

If you're giving everything and they're taking the money out of the bank and you're never receiving anything,

You're going to run out of money.

Right.

Yeah.

You're going to run out of emotional support.

You're going to run out of money.

You're going to run out of whatever you're giving.

And then,

Then,

And then you're going to be all bent out of shape at the taker when the taker had no control over your account.

And a lot of times the taker is going to go,

Um,

Well,

Why did you do that?

Yeah.

Why did you continue giving to me?

Why did you not tell me that there was a problem?

Why didn't you just stop?

I didn't know that there was a problem.

I was unaware of the fact that there was a problem.

And then sometimes people will tell people as a problem,

Like they have conversations.

I love the,

I love conversations.

Well,

I talked to them about it.

So what?

They didn't hear you.

Like most conversations,

People don't even hear what,

What,

What is being said.

They just,

They're up on the surface level living unconsciously.

And then all of a sudden they say,

Well,

You know,

Money's starting to get a little tight.

I don't know how much more I'm going to be able to help you out.

Oh,

All right.

Do you want to get a burger?

And then,

You know,

A week,

Then they continue giving them money.

And then a month later they're out of money and they're like,

Well,

I talked to him about it.

Yeah.

But what was the point of the conversation?

Bringing it up and having a conversation means nothing.

You know,

Sitting there and going,

Listen,

I can't help you out anymore because this is affecting me.

And in another month I'm going to be out and I can't allow myself to do that and still be responsible for my life.

So I'm stopping now and then stop.

This has been to me a fascinating conversation about this.

And I want to think of ways that we can put this into some action for listeners and for ourselves and for me,

Because this is definitely a problem that I have.

I think that it would be a really helpful idea.

And I want to hear your opinion on this,

To grab a piece of paper,

You know,

Write down your top five,

However many you think are important,

Your biggest relationships and then give it a number for each person.

Like give it a percentage.

How much do you think?

Like what is,

Is this balanced?

Am I giving,

Am I,

Am I giving like if you think if you're listening to this,

Like I am right now,

If you think that you're a taker,

You know,

I mean,

You're,

You think that you're a giver,

Sorry.

You think that you're a giver and you think that it's a problem and you think that it's a codependency issue and you think that you are becoming resentful of the other person in the relationship with you,

Whatever kind of relationship that is,

Write down your name,

Their name and like who's the giver,

Who's the taker,

How bad you think it is.

And I mean,

It's,

It could,

You can be conscious of it.

Yeah,

It could,

It could be a helpful tool of getting a broad picture,

But that just,

That can't be your only tool because,

Because then all of a sudden it turns into a keeping score game.

Right.

Well,

I don't think it,

I don't think it should be keeping score.

I think that you should,

Like if you were to do that,

Right,

You take it and you go,

This is out of whack and then we already talked about all of the different ways that you can change it in the podcast,

Setting boundaries,

Talking to the person and you might be a taker in a relationship.

And if you're listening to the,

Like,

I know for sure that I'm a taker in a couple relationships and that's negative too.

So yeah,

If it's too much one way.

So if you're a taker listening to this in a relationship,

Like that giver will be so shocked if you bring this up and tell them that they need to set limits on what they,

On what the,

And how much they give.

Yeah.

You know,

Like if you can,

If you have another podcast on this,

If you can try to find balance in those relationships,

That's,

I mean,

That's the goal,

Right?

You're trying to,

If you're the giver,

You want to try to replenish.

And if you're the taker,

You want to try to give back to the giver to replenish them.

Yes.

Right.

Yeah.

And,

But you know,

The other piece you have to keep in mind is that,

You know,

Some relationships are slanted like this.

I mean,

So,

You know,

There,

There are relationships that are going to be more giver taker.

I mean,

Yeah,

Parenting.

I mean,

I don't,

You know,

Like if I,

Illnesses,

People,

People with illnesses,

Caretakers.

Yeah,

I mean,

And sometimes it's just plain dynamics,

You know,

Sometimes it's just kind of that way.

So it's,

You know,

And then it's kind of a different way.

So it's just bringing consciousness to the thing.

That's why I think one of the things that givers,

One of the best things givers can do is learn how to receive,

Just practice learning how to receive.

That's because that will automatically start bringing things into balance.

I mean,

For a giver to receive is really foreign.

They don't even know how to do it well.

That was one of the first things that you ever talked to me about ever when we first met because of the situation we were in.

You were like,

You gotta,

You gotta let this happen.

Yeah.

You gotta,

You gotta take some good,

You gotta receive this.

And then,

You know,

You've continued to,

You have to practice receiving.

Yeah.

And it was a big thing for me too,

Receiving.

But I don't know,

It's,

It's time to wrap it up now.

So I'm going to,

And then I think what we're going to do is just take a couple of minutes after the podcast and we'll discuss if there's enough meat here for another podcast,

Maybe we'll do a part two.

But to,

To wrap it up,

It's,

It's,

You know,

Giving and receiving,

It's,

It's so much the giver's responsibility to set the limits that,

You know,

The,

I mean,

Taker,

Yeah,

If you see that you're taking a lot in a relationship,

Of course,

Put some energy into getting that back into balance.

But really,

The responsibility lies in the,

The giver.

You know,

You're holding all the cards.

You're literally the one that's letting things go out.

So you're the one that needs to start setting the limits.

And if you do that,

It will,

It will help the taker,

You know,

Because,

Because it is a codependent situation.

As long as the givers are giving,

Then the takers will continue to take.

So if the givers really set those limits and learn,

Start learning how to receive and it becomes a lot healthier for,

For both the giver and the taker,

You know,

Being responsible for their own lives.

So,

So there.

And if people will help with this situation or any other topic.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

I've dealt with this a lot with clients and,

You know,

Especially when it gets to do with family and people close to you,

It really can help getting some guidance through it.

So you can reach me at GlenAmbrose.

Com.

And I think that'll do it for today's show.

So thanks for listening and we'll talk at you soon.

Reviews

Really, really great track!! I can't wait to hear part 2!! Thank you. 🙏🏻

Good info especially about the giver has to set the limits. Thanks for bringing all your podcasts to insight timer

Amazing insights. We all need to be aware of ourselves and not play the victim or blame others for what we have done as a giver or taker. So simple but it really helps to hear how you’ve laid it out. Thank you!!

Excellent topic! I found this very eye opening and am looking forward to part 2!

Thanks again for a great informative talkback

That was excellent! Looking forward to part 2! Thanks

Wonderful message, I need to stop complaining about takers and work on my end instead ❤️ thx for sharing 👌

This was awesome and very eye opening for me 🦋 some great and extremely helpful information...Thank you!🙏

This is the 2nd podcast of ours I have listened to and they are absolutely wonderfully informative . About 5 years ago I had a blowout with a friend , she said I’m
Too generous and it was making her feel uncomfortable. Of course I didn’t understand this at all !!! How can kindness and love make someone feel uncomfortable??!! I reflect on that for a long time and realize that maybe a give/ care too much. Instead of resenting her I except her for who she is and make sure to give only what she can handle . Like you guys said in your podcast, it is the responsibility of the giver to keep balance. I’m excited to listen to part 2 now . Light and love 🧚🏻‍♀️

Thanks for a great talk. Yes. I'm a giver/helper. I discovered following post divorce therapy. There is a great personality test called the enneagram. It describes healthy and unhealthy giver/helper personality traits. I recommend it.

Also a shout out to fellow Aussie Shane for recommending this topic. Good onya mate! 😃

So nice to listen to these podcasts.. Hits home run every time.. 🙏👏
Btw...was this recorded on the first take, or did you give it a second shot? 🤔😏

Edit RE; yeah, i know. I don't doubt your autenticity. It was just a 'give or take' joke for the subject matter.. Haa, See what i did there? 😏🤓😉

Good perspective on giving and taking.. i tend to be a giver and then can fel resentful when i dont receive.. guess i have to learn how to balance.

I need to meditate on this before I answer so “I’ll be back”
🙏🏽🐾🌹💐✨

Great podcast- would like to have Part 2 - Givers taking responsibility for their own balance. The feeling: I have/am enough - not seeking approval/love outside

This podcast was very helpful. I have always been a giver (90%) and have been resentful when the takers did not give back. Now I understand my part in this out of balance relationships. I have to learn to set limits and how to take/receive. Thanks for the great advice!
I listened 3 times to make sure I got it!

What a fantastic discussion! I can relate to being both a giver and a taker, depending on the relationship. I am wondering if it’s possible to have a “give and take” discussion with certain individuals… since most people are unconscious and do not have perception of their actions. Look forward to part two!

Love listening to your talks!!!
Interesting topic. There is a giver in my life. He is financially comfortable and it seems to me that he uses giving as a form of power over myself and others if one allows him.

Valuable lesson learnt. I tend to have the victim mentality, being the over giver. It’s actually in my control, which I realized today 🙏🏽🙏🏽

A good lesson for me. Don’t expect others to give what I give, and then be disappointed every time they don’t. Thank you for the gentle reminder.

Great show you guys. I have a couple of things to add to this. It’s on giving with an expectation versus giving without attachment. A gift is not a gift if there is a condition on it. The other thing is about receiving; not everyone wants to be on the receiving end of a giver. Some givers give with an expectation and it actually creates an issue binding the receiver. Thank You for your show.