Feeling Safe - Life, Lessons, & Laughter LIVE

On this episode of Life, Lessons, & Laughter with Glenn Ambrose I talk about feeling safe. I'll discuss the masculine energy of feeling safe as well as safety in general to bring clarity on what is possible and what isn't in this world. Recorded LIVE on 6-6-22.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

What is up people?

What is happening?

Where are you watching from?

Talk to me.

Participate.

Be the conversation.

Well,

Don't be the conversation.

Be part of it.

What's happening?

I just came,

I literally got off of a phone call like two or three minutes ago and just sat my butt down and started.

So here we are.

Here we are.

And I am feeling safe.

I hope you guys are feeling safe.

Wherever you're watching from.

This is what we are talking about today.

We're talking about feeling safe.

You know,

What it is,

What it looks like,

Is it possible,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

All that good stuff.

And it is smoking hot in the Caribbean.

How do you guys like my new background?

I decided to do something different.

I got a little Tree of Life action going on for you guys viewing.

So,

So yeah.

So here we go.

Please say hello.

Oh,

Happy Monday from Deanna in our eye.

Sarah.

Oh,

Look at this.

Some of my favorite people popping in already.

I love it.

OK,

Cool.

So we're going to we're going to talk about safety today.

And there's a couple of reasons why.

It's there.

There seems to be.

And I've talked with other people.

Hey,

Aaron.

Nice to see you.

Where are you living now,

Aaron?

Hey,

April,

I think I think you're out of Massachusetts,

Aren't you,

Aaron?

Oh,

Sarah's in Laguna Beach.

Where are you again,

April?

Yeah,

They're they're OK.

Aaron's in Tennessee.

I knew you were out of.

I knew you weren't in God.

No,

No more.

So so,

Yeah,

Like there seems to be and I talked with my neighbor about this the other day.

Like,

You know,

I pick up on patterns and stuff and there there seemed to be this pattern where.

People were feeling a little insecure.

April,

Canada.

Nice.

That's where anybody who's not from Canada is in the town where I grew up in.

All French Canadian,

But mostly not all.

So,

Yeah.

So like I was picking up on some levels of of insecurity a little bit here and there and some different ways.

And and so I talked with my neighbor because often,

You know,

She does similar work.

So often the people that do similar work,

We can see patterns when we discuss stuff.

So I kind of brought it up and I was like,

Yeah,

Have you noticed this kind of insecurity a little bit?

And people kind of just attaching a little too much and just and she was like,

Yeah.

And what she kind of started as was an aspect of the divine masculine being healed,

Which made a lot of sense to me because.

You know,

There's a lot of attention to.

To the divine feminine right now,

Because it's necessary,

Like,

You know,

We've been out of balance on Earth so much is way,

Way too much masculine energy.

And it's been out of whack for so long that it's important for us to bring the divine feminine energy up to start balancing it.

Right.

Because everything's balance,

You know,

So feminine energy is actually much stronger than masculine energy in a lot of ways right now because it's so out of balance.

And that's what nature does.

If there's a if there's a need for something.

It gives it the opportunity to to come back into balance.

OK,

So this is why the divine feminine is so powerful right now.

So a lot honestly,

A lot of what I teach is,

Well,

A lot of what everybody teaches right now,

If it's effective,

If you look underneath the energy of it and you wanted to label it,

We would actually be labeling most of what's being taught right now is feminine energy.

Why?

Because it's this is what's needed to bring us back into balance.

But if you're you know,

If you're thinking of that,

Then like,

Well,

What happens to the divine masculine energy?

Well,

You know,

Like one,

We don't need as much of it.

Right.

But that doesn't mean we need none of it.

It's balance.

It's all balance.

So we still need it.

So the fact that we go,

We might be going through a little stage right now where we're healing some of that divine masculine energy into a healthier version of masculine energy as opposed to the negative versions of masculine energy.

It makes sense because we're we're trying to come back into balance and we need to have healthy,

A healthy outlook on masculine energy.

So a lot of the masculine,

Well,

An aspect of masculine energy is feeling safe.

You know,

This is this is what you know,

There's there are differences between men and women on a surface level.

You know,

Underneath like what as spiritual beings,

We're the same.

You know,

There's no difference at the core of what our needs are.

They're the same.

There's no difference.

We all want to be loved.

We all want to be heard.

We all want to be respected.

It's all the same when you're on deep,

Eternal principle levels.

Right.

But as you get further and further to the top,

Then there are obvious differences in masculine energy and feminine energy.

And we both have both.

It's just most men have more masculine energy and most women have more feminine energy,

You know.

So we have to balance that within us to have a well-balanced life.

So there's a lot of talk for the about the feminine and with good reason,

But it does serve us to heal some of the masculine and gain a better understanding on what it looks like when it's healthy,

As opposed to this unhealthy version of it that's been running in the world for the last hundred thousand years.

You know,

So we have to keep that into consideration.

Hey,

Gina.

See,

We got another Canada,

Gina.

So,

Yeah,

This is what I'm talking about.

So I'm going to go into this very interesting book called Down to Earth,

The Spiritual Being's Guide to a Happy Human Experience.

And who?

Oh,

Glenn Ambrose wrote this.

Must be good.

So I'm going to go over to.

To Chapter 34,

Feminine and masculine energies and give you guys kind of an overview.

So.

Like some of this is,

As you'll see,

Is kind of.

It's not completely doing it,

But if you want to get picky,

This list probably makes masculine energy sound a little bit worse than it is,

Because,

Quite frankly,

A lot of the masculine energy,

Like I said,

Has been in a unhealthy version of masculine energy.

Right.

So,

So,

Sarah,

One of the best books I've ever read.

Oh,

Thank you.

So.

But I just want to give you an overview.

You know,

Don't hyper focus on any one of these.

So I'm going to give masculine energy versus feminine energy.

OK,

So doing versus being.

That's a good example because it's good for us to have a balance.

We want to do things.

We need to take action and participate in our own life.

But we also have to just be happy being without just being addicted to accomplishment all the time.

Right.

So you're going to see how if you live a balanced life with these two aspects,

It's it can serve you.

Aggression versus surrender,

Analytical versus intuitive,

Concrete versus abstract.

And it doesn't necessarily have to be versus.

It can be and,

You know,

But we're comparing the two.

So it's not that these are in competition with one another.

We're just looking at both sides so we can understand the difference between the two and understand that there's two ways.

And we're looking for the balance in between.

Impatient versus patient.

Movement versus stillness,

Striving versus tranquil,

Rushing versus nurturing,

Assertive versus receptive.

Left brain versus right brain.

Thrusting versus receiving.

Organization versus synthesizing.

Logical versus creative.

Busy versus calm.

Hard versus soft.

Controlling versus allowing.

Individuality versus unity.

Expression versus silence.

Constructive versus instructive.

Strength versus endurance.

Knowledge versus mystery.

So,

You know,

This is an overview.

Don't get too attached to one or two particular things because it's a broad perception that we're talking about.

This is not implying that men express themselves and women are silent.

And if they are other anything,

You know,

I got to clarify this because,

You know,

Like it's,

You know,

Some there's there is the wounded feminine on this planet and with good reason because they've been put down a lot.

Right.

So sometimes people will hear that and they'll get very defensive.

And that's not what it means.

It's you know,

It's not.

And again,

Male and female have both of these energies within them.

It's not one or the other.

It's we encompass all of these things and we're looking for the balance in them.

OK.

And controlling and allowing.

Allowing is one of the healthiest things we can do.

It does not mean allow poor behavior.

So do you I think we're right there.

I think you guys are going to get the point in what I'm saying.

Do not look at those words and allow your own.

Perceptions to skew what that thing is saying,

OK?

It's it's it's not saying that,

You know,

We both have have these things within us.

So like.

Allowing does not mean allowing poor behavior.

Allowing is one of the most beautiful things we can do.

It's one of the most spiritual terms there is to allow our true essence to come up instead of trying to control everything.

You know,

So that's an asset,

Not a detriment.

You know,

It's not implying anything negative.

So if you look at some of these words,

Though,

You know,

To get back to our specific topic,

Which is safety with a with a slant on masculine energies.

Like there's an aspect of like concrete versus abstract,

Like we can derive a sense of safety from concrete facts or concrete knowings within us.

Sometimes we can arrive that to that to that concrete place through some analytical behavior,

Which the as opposed to the intuitive.

Now,

Does the intuitive serve us?

Oh,

My God.

Yes.

We you know,

We really have to open up to our intuitive side even more so.

But does that mean that we just completely abandon our analytical side?

No,

We can still analyze things.

We can still come to good,

Concrete,

Quality decisions through analytical aspects.

Movement and stillness.

Do we need more stillness in this world?

Oh,

My God.

Yes.

But do we completely abandon movement?

No.

Right.

So you see how it goes both sides with this thing.

And,

You know,

There are some aspects of of of the strength.

And the concreteness and the logical aspect of the what is normally viewed as the masculine energies to to help us feel safe.

You know,

Like so if you're.

A lot of the self-confidence can kind of lean into where does self-confidence come from?

It's like,

Well,

You feel safe within yourself,

Right?

That's more of a masculine energy.

Now,

Is there an aspect of feminine energy?

Oh,

My.

Yeah.

You know,

There there is a nurturing.

See,

See,

The other side of this is the nurturing.

So like if I if I ever feel not safe,

One of the most wonderful things that I'll do is like I'll go into a meditation and I'll I'll ask for the energy of Mother,

Mother Mary to come.

And that energy is so warm and nurturing.

And oh,

My God,

I love it.

It's just it just envelops me and I just feel so comfortable and feel so safe because like I'm balanced with my masculine energy.

So if I'm feeling unsafe,

Sometimes I can bring in some of my feminine and just feel that nurturing.

And that can calm me and soothe me and make me feel safer.

Right.

So so there is that.

But that's nurturing.

It's not technically strength.

Which is another energy that we can feel safe from.

So.

So what we're doing is we're trying to we're trying to heal this stuff and and understand that we can stand in our our masculine energy and we can be strong,

Whether you're a man or woman,

You can stand in your masculine energy and you can derive a sense of safety in that.

You know,

Like,

No,

I'm standing my ground.

I'm here and I'm not going to be necessarily aggressive like masculine energy can be and shove it down your throat and make sure you understand what I'm saying.

I'm not going to go down that route because that's unhealthy.

I'm going to stand in my masculine energy of my self-confidence and knowing that I'm right.

But I'm going to stand in it in the way of of the divine feminine,

Where I'm not going to argue with you.

I'm just going to stand here.

You know,

It's and I always use this example for for.

Masculine and feminine energy,

Because I was trying to understand it in a way that made sense to me,

And a lot of times I'll get visuals and stuff for that or at least explainable examples.

So like what I came up with was I was really exploring this many years ago and I was looking at I saw this river and this rock and the rock standing in the river was trying to,

You know,

I just envisioned it trying to stop the water from coming because,

You know,

The rock standing there all strong and the water's coming up and it's smashing into it.

It's like that rock is saying now shall not pass.

You know,

But the the feminine energy.

So the masculine energy is this strong,

Assertive,

No,

Screw you.

This is my river.

You can't come by.

And I'm not the feminine energy is just going around the rock or over it.

It's like,

Yeah,

Whatever,

You know.

I'm going to continue on my path.

There's really nothing you can do to stop me.

I understand that you're a rock and you're really hard and you yell real loud,

But you I'm just going to go on my way because I'm divine feminine and I know better.

You can't really stop me.

So I'm just going to go anyway without the argument.

You know,

So the water has some masculine energy because it has confidence.

But does it argue about its confidence?

No,

It just goes around,

Which is feminine.

Does it stop to get into the argument?

It doesn't even bother going like,

You can't tell me what to do.

Why even bother?

Like if you're really confident in yourself,

Why even bother?

You know,

I mean,

Of course,

There's times in real life that we should explain ourselves.

But I'm talking energetically.

You know,

You can give somebody you can explain yourself and continue on your path and stay in divine feminine energy the whole way and just be like,

No,

I mean,

I understand that you'd rather not have me do this,

But I'm confident myself and I'm just going to go.

So like,

It's it's really no harm on you.

It's nothing personal.

And then you just go and you don't wait for them to agree.

That's the biggest mistake people make is they wait.

They think like when they're explaining the way they're acting,

They need to wait for the other person's agreement or when they're setting a boundary.

It's dependent on the other person's agreement.

Like,

No,

No,

No.

If you're living your life your way,

You don't need anybody's agreement.

You do whatever the hell you want to do.

It's just you give explanations in a way so you can actually interact with other people without being rude.

You just you give them you give them an explanation,

Not so that to see if they're going to agree with you or not,

Because that's inconsequential.

It's basically more like planting a seed of a new way of thinking.

Like going,

No,

I don't need your permission.

I'm just going to continue anyway.

And because I think this is right for me and that's how I live my life.

And you just say that and you move on and they have a choice that is behind you and no longer part of your life because you've moved on.

And their decision is,

Wow,

She said something really interesting there or he said something really interesting there.

I think I might look into this and adopt that as a way of life for me.

Or they say,

Ah,

That person was crazy and they push it aside.

Either way,

Who gives a crap?

It doesn't affect you.

You're on your way to where you were going in the first place.

So this is what we can get with combining the masculine and the feminine with the masculine confidence and the divine feminine without because the divine feminine isn't going to argue with you.

It's balanced with the masculine energy.

So as we're going through life,

What I kind of saw was people's insecurities bubbling up.

And there was a lot of people asking a lot of questions.

This is kind of a pattern that I saw.

There was a lot of people reaching out for stuff,

Asking questions.

And in my world,

It happened especially one day and it happened in lots of different ways.

There was people around here that were reaching out asking for my help with things that they didn't need my help for.

But they were asking for my help anyway.

And then of course some clients were asking a few extra questions and stuff like this.

And I started picking up on it.

I just pick up on patterns.

It's not one person that does it.

It's like when one,

Two,

Three,

Four clients in a row start asking extra questions.

And of course I have to stop and ask myself,

Is this me or is something going on here?

And usually it's something going on.

When I'm working,

I'm focused on the person.

So my personal stuff doesn't bubble into our sessions usually.

I'll use it as an example to make a point.

But if I'm battling something or I have something to learn or something,

It doesn't come into our sessions.

Because the session is based off the client's energy.

It's not based off my energy.

That's one of the things that I love about my work.

Like I can be in a horrible,

Horrible place personally.

And it's happened where I was just,

I couldn't even function in my own life.

I was just all wrapped up in my head in a crappy place and I couldn't do anything.

I had to cancel all kinds of stuff.

I barely could leave the house for a very short period of time.

But I had to work and I was like,

Oh my God,

Am I going to be able to work?

But I could because it actually helps me because I can disconnect from my stuff and really focus on somebody else,

Which is a really nice thing of pulling you off the pity pot.

In recovery they teach that.

When all else fails,

Go help another.

You know why?

Because your attention gets pulled off of your stuff and you stop focusing on helping somebody else.

It's really a wonderful tool.

So I noticed these patterns and yeah,

So it's about healing that masculine energy.

We need to be able to be strong without overpowering.

We need to be able to be firm without aggressive.

We need to be able to be confident in ourselves without second guessing everything all the time.

You know,

We have to be clear on that we are strong and we are capable.

So this is what we're leaning into.

So do you guys have any questions on this stuff so far?

Let me know.

Because,

Yeah,

I'm getting to the point where the overview is pretty much there,

So I'm going to have to go in some sort of direction.

So if you got in,

I don't know if I'll find one.

Oftentimes I find one myself,

But we'll see.

So I guess,

You know,

A lot of it is really about,

You know,

Last week I talked about be who you're becoming.

This is kind of,

I guess,

Maybe the next version of that or a piece spawned off of that.

It's about being confident in ourselves,

You know,

Judging ourselves less and second guessing ourselves less and just leaning into these spiritual principles.

I mean,

For the most part,

We know what's right and what's wrong.

So,

You know,

It's about leaning into that what's right and what's wrong and just going,

OK,

I'm going to stand in this.

And,

You know,

Doing our part,

Doing our,

You know,

Instead of depending on other people.

You know,

What can we do ourselves?

And this is so it's just so ironic as I'm saying these words,

I'm like flashing back to all the conversations that I've had over the last several years about,

You know,

About us kind of leaning into the feminine and kind of second guessing everything and all that stuff,

You know.

And I'm not abandoning that.

It's just there needs to be some balance.

So right.

And we go through waves.

So what I'm saying is look at your life now,

Because this is a wave that's going on and it's not just in my clients.

It's other people seeing this,

Too.

And I can even see it on social media sometimes.

You know,

When there's waves of energy that are going through that need to be healed or there's a particular focus on something.

You know,

You can see it in social media a lot of times.

So it's you know,

It's not just stuff I'm seeing.

It's stuff that other teachers are seeing,

Too.

So when you see this stuff,

Just all you got to do is ask for awareness,

Like become inquisitive.

Be like,

Are there any things in my life that I could be taking control of or I could be running because I'm smart enough and I'm good enough that I'm not because I'm just kind of playing a little insecure and I'm kind of letting other people do a little bit too much for me.

It's OK to get help.

I think we're too independent as a general rule.

Right.

It's just like we can't abandon independence just because,

You know,

Independence is good.

It's just not everything.

Everything is in the middle.

Everything is about balance.

You know,

It's all just right in the middle and balance.

So,

OK,

Here's the other piece.

I knew that there was something that had to come up.

It's one of the feeling safe,

OK,

Is most people try to do it out of control.

They try to control things.

Most people are control freaks in life.

We try to control way too much.

And this goes for people pleasers as well,

Which is,

You know,

A lot of people on the spiritual path,

People doing that work on themselves are big hearted people.

And a lot of them are people pleasers because they really want to be good people.

And,

You know,

One of the things that that that they don't usually recognize within themselves is their control issues,

Because,

You know,

It's it's usually more obvious in other people.

They're like,

Oh,

My God,

This person's rude and controlling.

But I'm a good person.

I'm nice.

And I really try to see where other people are coming from.

Yeah,

But most of the people pleasers try to see where other people are coming from and then manipulate them into doing the right thing.

And then if they don't,

They'll cover for them and then they'll cop a resentment towards that person for not doing what they're supposed to.

See,

It's kind of an undercover way of trying to control things,

But they're trying to control.

They're trying to make everybody happy.

That's why they're people pleasers.

OK,

You have to do this so you're happy and I'll and I'll do it for you and then I'll do it for you because you're you don't have what you need to be happy.

So I'll do that for you,

Too.

And and that's control issues.

You're trying to control things.

In order to make other people happy.

You see that?

So like basically everybody has control issues.

Why?

Because most people don't feel safe.

Why?

Because we live in an ever changing reality.

So is there true safety here on Earth?

No,

There's not true safety here on Earth.

This true.

The only true safety there is,

Is in the eternal realm.

This is why Hank anchoring into I am a spiritual being.

Having a human experience is so important because we have to anchor into our our soul,

Our eternalness,

Our truth first and be like,

OK,

That's that's where I mean,

This is ultimately.

The the version of what we want to do.

OK,

So the ultimate safety is feeling a connection to your source.

That's where your ultimate safety can come from.

This is your source of safety,

Of love,

Of peace,

Of joy.

So like if you can anchor into the that sense of safety,

Whatever you believe in,

Some sort of divine intelligence or something,

Or just the fact that you're eternal and this is a blip on the screen,

Whatever,

Like anchor into your eternalness as a sense of safety.

And then you that creates space between you and the events that happen on Earth because they're not that consequential.

We act like everything is do or die,

Like we're no longer going to exist if we don't get that job.

Like,

Seriously,

You're like you're just going to implode and you're no longer going to be eternal.

And the rest of your eternal existence or the rest of your internal existence is just shattered and you suck.

And what are you going to go to hell and live burning in eternity because you didn't get a job?

No.

But that's how we take it.

People take it way too seriously.

We take life too seriously.

It's temporary.

It's ever changing.

Relax a little bit.

It's kind of like watching a movie on a screen.

You know,

You can you can experience excitement and sadness and joy and happiness and fear.

And you can experience all that stuff,

But you know that everything is OK on some level.

That's what spirituality gives us,

This deep,

Solid knowingness that everything is OK.

That's our baseline and we never lose it.

And then we can interact with life a little bit more playfully up here,

A little bit less serious.

So that is the ultimate in safety.

Now,

What do we have any control over our safety down here?

Well,

Really,

The only thing that we can trust is,

Like I said,

The eternal source or us.

We can't ultimately trust somebody else to care for us because they can't climb inside of us and know what we need all the time.

Heck,

We don't even know what we need half the time.

So like we have to be able to.

We have to be able to trust ourselves and anchor into our strength.

This is what we're talking about.

This is a level of safety that we can anchor into here on Earth.

Is it ultimate?

Does it replace being connected to source and focusing on the eternal?

No,

I mean,

That's the ultimate.

But down here,

We can play around with feeling safe a little bit more just with the trust within ourselves.

You know,

It's about not being needy.

It's about understanding that everything that's necessary to make the mighty oak is contained within the seed.

You have everything that you need to have a complete full life of contentment,

Of peace,

Of joy,

Of happiness.

You have it all.

And one of the biggest mistakes that people make in relationships is they think that somebody else completes them.

You know,

Jerry Maguire destroyed the nation.

You complete me.

No,

They don't.

They don't complete you.

You are complete all on your own.

Derive your strength from there.

Derive your confidence from there.

Trust yourself.

You're an amazing being.

Trust in that.

And then when you're with somebody and you're like,

What feels better if you're really feel in a good space and confident and not needy and your partner is in a good space and not needy?

And you guys just go out,

Right?

And you go enjoy stuff.

You go climb a mountain together or you go out to dinner together.

Or you go on a bike ride or you go on a walk or you sit on the couch and hold hands and nobody wants anything from the other one.

Just being there is enough.

Isn't that the best?

Why?

Because nobody's needy.

Nobody's trying to get something from you.

That doesn't feel good,

Especially when it's all the time.

You know,

Like we don't need each other in these ways.

When you have two healthy people that come together,

They share all this trust and love and strength.

And it's just,

You know,

It's a relationship is sharing things together.

It's not getting them.

You don't get things from other people.

Like even when you look at somebody and you feel love.

See,

The mistake people make is that the love that they feel inside their heart is coming from the other person.

But that's not true.

It's impossible.

Like how would love jump from another person and suddenly be inside of your heart?

Like how does that happen?

And I mean,

If we could do that,

Why don't we just all walk around going,

Love,

Love,

Poof,

You are filled with love,

Poof.

Like why don't we just start throwing love balls at one another?

It's because we can't do that.

That's why.

So the love that you feel inside of your heart is coming from within you.

It's just the person you're looking at is a good mirror for you.

So they're mirroring your self-love back to you.

But the love you actually feel is coming up from within you.

Because like you could be in a situation,

Right,

Where somebody loves you.

Like I think maybe an easy example of this as a parent and child.

Like let's say there's a child that is feeling really insecure and really unloved,

Right?

They're just in that space.

Maybe something happened and their parent is looking at them going,

No,

No,

You're perfect.

You are so loved.

I love you so much.

And you just want to take their pain away.

You want them to feel the love that you're feeling inside.

You want them to feel that inside of them.

And you can't.

Why?

Because love comes from within.

So a child has to open up to the love that's within them.

And if they're hurting and they're closed off and they're trying to protect their heart by not feeling,

You can't take your love and put it inside of them.

God knows if we could,

Some parent would have figured out how to do it.

Because when you see a child suffering,

There's not much more that you want to stop than your child suffering.

Right?

So if there was a way to stop it,

We would have found it by now.

So we can't take our love and put it inside of somebody else.

So these people you love,

There's not,

People you love,

They don't give you love.

What you feel when you look at them is the love emanating from within you and they're a good mirror.

It's not them actually giving you the love.

They're not taking it out of their energy field and putting it into your energy field.

It's just emanating from within you.

Okay?

So you are fully contained.

And I've lived,

You know,

Good portions of my life,

Very large portions of my life single.

So I've needed to learn and I'm not going to go get a girlfriend to fulfill my needs.

I'll go get a girlfriend to share things with,

But I'm not going to go say I need her so I feel complete because that's BS.

So I needed to learn how to feel intimacy and love and safety and peace without being in a relationship.

And that's,

I get it from my source.

If I connect to my source,

I feel love in my heart.

So I have unlimited access to unconditional love at all times whenever I want.

And everybody has that.

And we should learn how to do that.

You know,

That that that course I have on my platform,

Glennambroseacademy.

Com.

And you can get there from glennambrose.

Com.

But that course I have a 10 part prerecorded course called Transcend Suffering Through Love.

You know,

It's it's twenty five bucks.

You can take it whenever you want.

And it really goes through this process of explaining love deeply and you know what fear and love and why love is true and blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And how to feel it and connect with that love.

You know,

It goes through that,

Teaches you that.

So I highly recommend going and checking that out for a more detailed,

Practical step by step way of incorporating this in your life.

But that's what it was is like when a relationship ended,

I noticed that I was really craving something.

And it wasn't,

You know,

Just sex.

It was much more than that.

It was.

And what it was was intimacy.

I missed the intimacy that I got from when I was in a relationship.

So I was like,

Well,

I can't.

I'm like,

I don't want to be needy.

So if I need a woman in my life,

So I feel intimacy.

Then that means I need something from them.

And I don't believe that I believe I'm a self-contained unit.

So how could I not have something that I need?

I must be able to access it within myself.

I must.

So so I started looking at him like,

Well,

You know,

Where's what other thing is love?

Well,

To me,

God is love.

OK.

So God is love.

OK,

So what if I just connect to God over and over?

And I did.

And every time I thought of her,

Which was a lot,

I would be like,

Oh,

I have to connect to God.

So I would connect for a moment.

And I did that probably hundreds of times a day when we first broke up,

Because that's how often I thought of her,

You know.

So it was we were together for a while and I loved her.

So it was a very difficult breakup.

And I'm a very I'm a caring person.

So I had to work through this.

So,

Yeah,

I thought of her a lot at that time.

So what I would do is I would just connect to God every time.

And of course,

You don't have to wait for an end of a relationship.

You can do this at any time in your life.

Just connect to God every time you think of it.

If it's five times an hour,

Then it's five times an hour.

You know,

Like whatever it can be for two seconds.

It doesn't have to be long.

It's just a matter to feel that love in your heart.

And once I did that for a couple of weeks,

I noticed I wasn't really lonely.

I wasn't missing the intimacy.

It's because I was connecting on a regular basis to this ultimate source of love.

So I didn't need it externally.

I had it from my source and coming from within me.

So,

You know,

We need to be able to depend on ourselves for this stuff.

We are self-contained units and the healthier we are as a self-contained unit,

The higher quality energy we bring into the relationship.

And the relationship just takes care of itself.

We don't have to do a ton of work on relationships when you have two healthy people.

You know,

This is what a lot of people like,

Oh,

We have to work on our relationship.

Like,

Well,

Isn't your relationship just two people?

Well,

Yeah.

OK,

So like you have an energy field and they have an energy field.

So it's two energy fields and they come together and that's the relationship.

Yeah.

OK,

Then wouldn't it make sense that if you were just a healthier version of you and she was a healthier version of her,

That the energy going into this relationship would be healthier?

Yeah.

OK,

Then really,

Ultimately,

You don't really have to work on your relationship very much.

Basically,

You have to work on you becoming a better version of you and your spouse should be working on them becoming a better version of them.

And then you just keep feeding better and better energy into this thing called the relationship.

And it just continues to grow and expand and get better.

And you keep sharing things and you go,

Isn't this wonderful?

I'm so happy I have somebody to share this with.

Yes,

Me too.

Thumbs up.

And you move on.

So safety can come from source.

The the other main safety that we can derive is from within us and our own trust,

Because we never know what can happen to somebody else.

You know,

You could be with a partner and all of a sudden they get hit by a bus or they go,

Oh,

My God,

I had this spiritual dream last night and I know that it's true and I have to go meditate in a cave for the rest of my life and I have to do it.

Otherwise,

I'm not going to be true to myself and I can't not be true to myself.

So like we never know what's going to happen in the future.

So if we're putting our trust and anchoring our safety onto somebody else,

Then it's that's not the design for living.

We're self-contained.

And we're supposed to share with other people.

We're not supposed to get things from other people.

That's what constantly turns into power struggles is we're trying to get,

Well,

I need to get this from them and they need to get something from us.

And then there's a power struggle.

And then we wonder why,

You know,

It seems like,

Well,

I don't know.

I always I always have to sacrifice and they always take.

Yeah,

That's because it's a power struggle.

And eventually,

Like somebody is going to settle into a role,

You know,

Either that or you just argue all the time forever.

Either way,

It sucks.

So if you don't need something from anybody else and you're just sharing your safety,

You know,

Is from source mainly.

And then there's kind of a pseudo level that you can acquire on your own.

But just by trusting yourself,

Because like,

Let's take the example that I just used of getting hit by a bus or going to meditate in a cave for the rest of your life.

If that were to happen to you,

That's not abandoning your trust.

Right.

Because if you trust yourself while you're here on earth and you get hit by a bus,

You know,

I'm assuming you die.

Well,

Then you're not here on earth anymore.

So it's like it's OK.

You're in the eternal realm now,

Like so you didn't let yourself down.

You were with yourself until the end,

Literally.

Right.

So that's cool.

And then if you go meditate in a cave for the rest of your life,

The only reason you're doing that is to be true to yourself.

So you're not letting yourself down in that way either.

So see,

This is why there is a certain level of trust we can acquire from ourselves that we can't get from anybody else.

There's no trust to be had.

This is you know,

This is why people are such control freaks,

Is they're constantly looking for for safety.

And one of the most common places that people look for safety,

The two is relationships and jobs.

You know,

And what I don't know,

I don't even want to say it surprises me,

But people still,

Even after covid,

Are going,

I really want a stable job.

It's like you haven't figured out there's no stability in jobs,

Like at least let covid teach you that.

I mean,

There isn't stability in jobs.

There's no such thing.

Is there is there more stability in some areas?

Yeah.

Right up until the point where the stability legs get cut out from one idea.

Like,

You know,

There's people that have had jobs for 20,

30 years,

Their own businesses even,

Or working for somebody else that because of covid,

They're flat out on their ass.

And they did everything their entire life to set themselves up for job security.

And then covid comes and knocks it right out.

Now you go to those people and you go,

OK,

So you well,

You did have job security for 20 years.

Is that good enough?

Like,

Is it OK that your legs got cut out from underneath you now?

They'd be like,

No,

It's not OK.

The whole point of security is having security.

So I don't care if I had it for 20 years.

I don't have it now.

And that sucks because I depended on it for security.

But there is no security here on Earth.

It's an illusion.

And so is control.

So we need to start taking our hands off of control and trusting ourselves.

This is where the real safety comes from,

This illusion of control or this illusion of external safety by structures like relationships or jobs.

It doesn't exist.

So like most people right now,

You're seeing this play out in society by people picking a side.

They pick a side with a social injustice.

They pick a side with a political candidate.

They pick a side with what what's right and what's wrong to do.

And they and then they argue and defend their side.

Why?

Because they're trying to to have a sense of security.

And if they think they know what's right,

They feel like they have some sort of level of control.

People do not like not knowing it bugs the living crap out of them when they're in a space where they're like,

You know,

Well,

What do you think is best?

Do you think,

You know,

The world's problems are going to get fixed by this candidate or this candidate?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I must be a crappy citizen and I must be a bad person and I must be ignorant and I must not know anything.

And I think I'm supposed to know.

Everybody seems to put pressure on me like I'm supposed to know.

So I better pick a side.

Hey,

Yeah,

This one.

Oh,

Sounds like an idiot.

This one sounds like an idiot,

Too.

But this one might be less of an idiot.

So I guess I'll go with the less of I think less of an idiot.

I'll go with that idiot.

And yeah,

OK,

So that's what I'm OK.

So then the next person comes up,

Goes,

So what do you think?

And you go,

I'm with this idiot.

And they're like and if they're on your side,

Then it's like,

Cool,

We're good,

They're bad.

You go,

Yeah,

We are.

And then if it's all well,

You shouldn't be with that idiot.

You should be with my idiot.

Well,

No,

I shouldn't.

And then you have to get really good at defending your idiot and,

You know,

And coming up with good arguments.

So you can defend your pseudo stance on some idiot that doesn't give two craps about you or your life or anybody else's,

For that matter.

It's ridiculous,

And it's all in the name of trying to feel safe.

I love not knowing.

In fact,

I play hypothetical game to ensure that I know that I don't know.

Because I feel comfortable there,

Because I know that I'm not supposed to know.

I don't know.

I don't know what's going on behind the scenes with these political jackasses.

I know it's a bunch of BS that I probably don't want to know.

And I know it's crooked.

But I don't know ultimately what's going on behind the scenes.

And I'm fine with that because I'm not supposed to know because I'm not going to go in there and fix it.

Because I got my life over here that's actually happy and pleasant.

I'm not going out there in this mishmash of idiocracy out there and pretend that I'm going to make a difference by backing a particular idiot.

They're both idiots.

And just about everybody at that level is an idiot.

So I'm not going to go lie to myself.

We've been playing the idiot game for the last 40 years.

I mean I'm 53.

I've seen it for a while.

We have the same problems at my age of 53 as we did when I was 23.

Literally the same problems.

And sometimes if they haven't died yet,

Sometimes it's the same people arguing the same problem.

It's ridiculous.

Nothing ever gets solved with the system because the system's broken.

So I know that and I know that I'm not supposed to know.

So I don't worry about it.

And I don't.

.

.

I'm gonna get off the political boat.

It's a good example for most of this.

But then people start going,

Oh well Glenn you're not.

.

.

You know,

You don't understand.

You're part of the problem.

No,

You're part of the problem.

Being involved in all that crap is part of the problem.

Thinking that there's a solution in there somewhere is the problem.

Because we've been playing this game for,

Like I said,

The last 30 years and absolutely nothing has happened.

But you're telling me that if I'm not involved in the idiotic game that doesn't accomplish anything,

Then I'm a loser.

Okay,

I'll be a loser then over here.

Because this game doesn't accomplish anything.

It just spins around in circles.

So anyway,

So off the political train.

What I'm saying is that not knowing is a good space to be in.

And trusting that we're going to be able to interact with life in an appropriate manner.

We're going to be able to take care of ourselves.

We trust ourselves.

We're going to be okay.

There's this baseline of being okay that we get through spirituality that nobody or no thing or no circumstance can take away from us.

That's what we need to anchor into.

And it can be.

.

.

You know,

I don't care how you get there.

You know,

I'm going to drop the masculine and feminine energy because,

You know,

Ultimately that's what.

.

.

I'm talking about safety.

Masculine energy just needs to be healed a little bit as an aspect of getting here.

But ultimately this talk is about safety.

So safety.

What safety is,

Is trust in ourselves that we can handle whatever the hell happens.

And we have to understand that because we're screwing with our kids too.

Most of what we think in our kids.

.

.

It's not because it's bad people.

It's because it's of unconsciousness.

Most people's unconscious goal with raising their children,

Other than the loving aspect of them,

Is basically I'm going to do my best to shelter them from any mental,

Emotional,

Or physical pain.

And that's unrealistic.

And it's not even good.

Like what if you were able to do that?

What if you were actually able to protect your child from experiencing any mental,

Emotional,

Or physical harm?

Who would you have as a child?

They wouldn't be able to handle anything.

Like you can't be an adult like that.

You can't be an adult and never have gone through any difficulties.

Why are we trying to protect?

I mean,

I'm not saying take your kid and throw him into a lion's den and see if he survives.

That's not what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is we shouldn't be putting so much pressure on ourselves and on our children to try to make sure they don't experience anything negative.

Instead,

What we should be doing is teaching them ways to deal with life when it does get difficult.

Because it's going to.

Nobody has a life without difficulties.

So why are we trying to protect our kids from experiencing difficulties?

I mean,

Like I said,

Of course.

I mean,

If there's something that's happening that you can step in and be like,

Hey,

I'm going to stop my kid from experiencing something that's difficult.

Well,

Then fine.

Jump in.

I mean,

I'm all for the Papa Bear stuff.

You should have seen me when my son was young.

That Papa Bear came flying out a few times.

I have no problem with protecting your children.

All I'm saying is it can't be the only thing.

We get pigeonholed and we're like,

Protect child,

Protect child.

We don't like slow down,

Man.

Think about what you're saying.

Protect child when possible,

But teach them ways of interacting with life so they can handle it when things don't go well.

That they can trust.

They can trust themselves if they know how to handle adversity.

And that's what we should be teaching our children.

And this is what we should be practicing ourselves.

You know,

So we have to stop being victims of society and going,

Oh,

Well,

This is like one of the things that drove me crazy was when covid hit,

Everybody was going,

These poor children.

They won't experience a graduation.

And it was all over social media.

Oh,

These poor children.

It's like,

Is that what you're teaching your child?

They're graduating high school or college and they're taking a big step towards becoming an adult,

Like having to interact with adversity.

And as soon as something happens where they don't get to experience some sort of rite of passage that society has gone and said that they need for some reason.

Like a ceremony to say that they graduated high school.

As soon as something happens that that's adversarial,

We go,

Oh,

You poor thing.

Oh,

You.

Oh,

My poor baby didn't get his graduation.

Oh,

You poor thing.

It's not your fault.

It's not fair.

It's so not fair.

Oh,

My God.

How is that going to benefit them in life?

All it's teaching them is as soon as life throws them something that they don't like,

Then they are a victim of life and it's not their fault and everybody should feel sorry for them.

That's what we're teaching our children.

And it's all over social media.

And we don't even realize we're doing it because people are slowing down enough to understand this stuff.

Slow down and understand what you're doing.

Don't do things because it makes a cute meme.

If a meme resonates with you,

Look into it and find out why it resonates with you.

Because a lot of memes resonate with you because there's about 50 percent truth in them and you read it and you go,

Oh,

That's true.

I'm going to adopt that.

And you don't even look at it and fully understand why you're adopting it.

It's like my one of my favorite ones is no is a complete sentence.

No,

It's not.

Why does that resonate with so many people?

It resonates because it's aligned with partially aligned with the energy of we have the right to live our lives the way we choose.

Right.

And that's true.

And that it resonates with that part of us.

So we go,

Yeah,

Yeah,

I like that.

You know,

I like not I don't have to explain myself because I can do whatever I want.

It's like,

Yeah,

But now you're leaning too far into the masculine.

OK,

So this is how it's going to go full circle.

I just saw it.

So see,

That is unhealthy masculine energy.

Learning to set boundaries is healthy.

And I don't care if you call it masculine or feminine,

But learning to set boundaries is healthy.

But going.

Hey,

Could you help me move that table over to the other side?

I have to get it over there.

No.

Oh,

Are you doing something else?

I don't owe you an explanation.

No,

You don't owe it to me.

I mean,

I,

I just thought we were friends and I thought it might be nice.

Like,

I'm just trying to understand why you wouldn't help me move the table.

That's all.

I'm not second guessing you.

I'm not trying to make you move the table with me.

I'm just curious as to what your reasoning is,

Because I thought we were friends and I'm just kind of curious.

And it's kind of part of a relationship to communicate with one another,

Exchange ideas,

Learn from each other,

That type of stuff.

So,

No,

You don't owe me an explanation,

But it would be nice to have one.

Right.

See,

This is what I mean.

We go it,

But it sounds like it's a good idea on a meme.

So I'm going to do it and I'm going to run around saying no.

And I'm not going to explain myself to anyone.

It's like that's such unhealthy energy.

OK,

So don't do things just because it makes a cute meme.

Make sure you understand why you're doing things.

Question them.

This is conscious living.

Question things.

Look into them.

Have discussions about them.

Try to understand why you actually do the things that you do in your life.

So let's see.

I'm cracking up Gina and Sarah is loving it.

Oh,

Yeah,

Yeah,

That's one of my other favorite ones.

Every time somebody says,

Slow down,

My baby is growing up too fast.

It's like,

Oh,

Please.

That's what you want to do.

Stick them in a microwave and make sure they don't draw grow up so you can have your little baby for the next 30 years.

Like,

Come on,

You should want your child to grow up.

It's a wonderful thing.

You know,

It's like I see my son now.

One of my favorite things now is having a conversation with my son at 21 years old and listening to how well he adults.

It blows my flippin mind that a kid that is 21 years old is as capable as that kid is.

He adults better than most adults I know.

He adults better than I do.

He's just,

He's amazing.

And what would I get if he stayed small?

And I get it.

I understand why people say it.

I understand what they mean by it.

I just think it's unhealthy if you just regurgitate that type of stuff over and over and you don't actually slow down and think about what it does,

Because it changes the way you interact with your child.

You know,

People don't realize how important this is.

This is why I talk about the memes and understanding why you're doing what you do is because people don't understand.

If you keep telling,

If you have this mindset that says,

Oh,

I don't want my baby to grow up,

I don't want my baby to grow up.

They think it's a harmless little cute thing that they say.

I don't really mean it.

I just I just like them because they're cute and cuddly and I like that.

I understand.

I understand why you're saying it.

I was a parent.

I get the fondness of a little kid and how they look at you like you're like your frickin Superman or Superwoman.

And they love you so much and they cuddle with you.

And as they get older,

Sometimes that dissipates and stuff like that.

I get it.

I understand it.

But what I'm saying is if you're walking around feeding that into your unconscious all the time,

It alters the decisions you make.

So when there's an opportunity for you to teach your child an adulting behavior or not teach your child an adulting behavior,

Some of those times,

Maybe not all of them,

But some of those times you're not going to do it because you want to keep them small subconsciously.

And you're not even going to be aware that you're doing it.

Because it's all unconscious and subconscious.

That's why I'm saying that we should stop feeding ourselves this stuff,

Not because it's not cute or I don't understand what they're saying.

It is cute.

And I do understand what they're saying.

I'm just saying it's more dysfunctional than it is healthy.

So I'm not going to feed it to my psyche.

And I don't think other people should either because it will alter your decisions and your kid is going to miss some valuable lessons because of it.

That's all.

So I think that'll wrap it up.

So safety,

Safety,

Safety.

Control is an illusion.

Find safety in the not knowing.

Find safety understanding that you're not supposed to know what's going on.

We live in an ever changing reality.

Like and if you don't understand that,

Slow down and understand that we live in an ever changing reality.

That means your car is going to be a pile of dust someday.

Everything changes.

How are you supposed to find something that's stable in that?

How are you supposed to depend on a job or like a building could get blown up or just fall down or,

Or some big wig could steal a bunch of money and the company could fold?

Like you literally never know or COVID could come.

You literally never know what can happen in an ever changing reality.

So thinking that you should know is a mistake.

You're not supposed to know.

Practice getting comfortable in the not knowing.

I don't know.

I do it in my everyday life,

You know,

Like driving.

I mean,

I don't really I don't think I do this anymore.

I don't know.

But,

You know,

If somebody does something driving and I go,

Oh,

They're an idiot.

Wait a minute,

Glenn.

Maybe I shouldn't judge.

Maybe they're trying to get to their child that's in the hospital that they just found out.

Or maybe they're in an abusive relationship and they're trying to figure out what's going on.

Or maybe they just heard a song on the radio that remind them of their first girlfriend and they went over to turn up the volume and they took their eyes off the road for a second.

Like,

Who knows?

I don't know.

Oh,

Yeah,

That's right.

I don't know.

So maybe I shouldn't be judging because I have no flipping idea.

I don't have the information necessary to make judgments.

This is what we have to understand.

Our perspective is minimal.

We don't have you don't want to be prejudiced.

Then stop prejudging.

That's the definition of prejudice.

It's prejudging.

It's judging before you have the necessary information to make an accurate judgment.

That's what being prejudiced is.

And we do it all day long because we think we're supposed to know stuff.

So this is what I've stopped doing.

I stopped judging everything as right,

Wrong,

Like I'm supposed to.

I don't know.

I don't know half of what's going on.

I don't know people's histories.

I don't know what's going on inside of their minds.

I don't know if their heart got broken 15 minutes ago.

I don't know.

So if I don't have the information to make the necessary,

Like proper judgment,

Then I shouldn't be judging.

Right.

So allow this judgment to fall away.

Stop trying to figure everything out and just trust yourself that you can navigate life in a healthy way no matter what happens.

You do that and you're heading in the right direction.

All right.

That'll do it.

You're very welcome,

Gina.

Thank you.

And Sarah and Aaron,

Thank you guys all for participating and watching and all this good stuff.

It's been fun.

So I believe that's going to do it.

Get over here to my my little ending.

There it is.

All right,

People.

Oh,

How do you like my new background?

I showed it to you.

Yeah,

That's right.

I already showed it to you guys.

Never mind.

All right.

Be good.

Trust yourself.

Find the safety that you're seeking inside.

And I will talk to you soon.

Peace.

Looking for more?

Check out over 200 episodes of Life Lessons and Laughter or click the link in the description of this episode to connect with Glenn directly.

See ya.