Empaths

In this episode. Glenn discusses empaths. We explore how empaths can often have a difficult time learning how to manage being able to tune into others' emotions in a healthy way, both for yourself and to help others.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons and Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hey everyone,

Welcome to the show.

And today we are talking about Mpass.

So everybody knows why I'm laughing.

We just started recording this thing and as soon as I started,

This thing popped up on my screen and started talking to me.

So it freaked me out a little bit and I was waiting for it to happen.

I was like,

Is this thing going to start talking to me again?

Technology is not our friend today,

Glenn.

Yeah,

It was the little voice recognition software on my computer or something.

I don't know what triggered it,

But anywho.

So yeah,

So today we're talking about Mpass and apparently my computer was feeding off my energy and it was trying to be there for me.

It's okay.

For those of you on Patreon who are watching this video,

I lost my webcam since our last recording somewhere.

So we're both just batting a thousand today.

Yeah,

We'll see how this plays out.

It's probably going to be our best podcast ever.

Maybe.

Hopefully you guys have some empathy for us.

Yeah.

Ooh,

Nice.

So yeah,

We're talking about Mpass and Mpass has been a big topic for the last two,

Three years,

I think.

And so it's been coming up a lot and it's coming up more and more lately.

And my friend Sue back in Rhode Island was like,

Hey,

Can you do a podcast on Mpass?

I was like,

Yes,

I can.

I can do a podcast on Mpass.

So here it is,

Sue.

So the Mpass.

Now this is,

I have a feeling I'm going to ruffle some feathers on this one.

Nice.

I'm ready for the comments.

Yeah.

This is not everybody's going to like what I have to say.

So I'm going to preface it,

Which I'm okay with.

You don't have to agree with me,

But I'm going to preface it by saying this is my opinion.

This is my experience.

It doesn't necessarily mean it's true or it's true for everybody.

It just seems to be true for me and some other people that I've worked with.

So the Mpass thing is just so huge right now.

Everybody's,

I'm an empath.

I'm an empath.

And it's like the way the information that I'm getting is basically everybody that is opening is an empath.

And I would even venture to say it's quite possible that everybody on the planet is an empath.

It's an ability.

It's an ability to feel other people's feelings and to connect with other people's feelings deeply.

So people who are very closed off,

Of course,

Aren't open to that.

So they're not experiencing it because they're not open to it.

It's the same mentality that they say everybody has psychic abilities.

But some people are open to it and some people aren't.

And I think that it's becoming such a wave in the spiritual world because most people that are in the spiritual world are opening.

Therefore,

They're experiencing aspects of this.

I often say,

I have a great job because I always work with the most wonderful people.

The most loving,

Big-hearted people are in my life.

And that's because people who are closed off,

That we would label a negative term,

One of many negative terms that we label people.

Those people aren't coming and seeking out help from a spiritual life coach.

It's not happening.

So the people that are coming to me are open-hearted and have lots of empathy and are open to that ability.

So I think the reason that everybody's going,

Oh my God,

I'm an empath.

It's like,

Yeah,

We kind of all are.

And if you're opening to your spirituality,

That's opening to traits that are spiritual and empathy is one of them.

So I think that that's one of the aspects of empaths that I've been seeing.

Just about every one of my clients,

Probably every one of my clients,

We've talked about having some sort of empath ability.

So yeah,

That's one aspect of it.

And along those lines,

I think if everybody's an empath,

Or let's just say a lot of people for the sake of argument are empaths,

Then I think our view that,

Oh my God,

We have to protect ourselves from all this negative energy out there.

And we have to do all these procedures to protect ourselves and to clean ourselves off of the negative energy from the outside.

I think,

In my opinion,

It's just getting overblown.

And I'm not saying that that stuff doesn't work because honestly,

Actually,

I think it does work.

So it's kind of weird.

I'm saying this stuff's overblown,

But yeah,

I'm also saying that it works.

And there's the overlap of spirituality.

I think it can work.

I think it's a good option.

I think you can clear energy.

I just don't think that that's the only way.

For me,

I started doing that.

I'm an empath.

So I would pick up on other people's feelings and take them on sometimes.

And I would go through these rituals.

And I went from everything from putting a cloak on before I left the house or before I was around other people.

And then one day,

I forgot to put my imaginary cloak on and I took all this energy on.

And then other times,

I was doing these rituals daily of just releasing this energy.

And of course,

Like I said,

These things work.

But I was like,

Is this what I'm meant for?

This was at a time in my life where I was letting go of a lot of tools.

Because in the beginning,

The tools helped me.

But then after a while,

I started going,

Is this why I'm here?

Did my creator make me and put me down here?

So I have to go through a ritual every day of cleansing,

Just being around other human beings.

And if I don't do that,

I suffer tremendously.

And if I forget,

I suffer tremendously.

It just didn't make sense to me.

So I developed a system where I put my own version of protection on.

And it's a permanent protection.

I think actually somebody gave me this idea,

If I remember right.

But I just put just a permanent,

Hey,

I don't want to absorb other people's negative energy and have it reflect off of me.

The point is,

Is it's permanent.

That's what I want to get.

So I don't have to remember to do it every day.

I don't have to.

And if there is some truth to this,

If I do need some sort of protection,

Well,

I have it.

Always,

All the time.

And then I wash my hands of it and I forget about it.

So that's the beginning aspect of it.

And I didn't think actually I didn't even think I was going to spend that much time on it.

But on that part of what I was going to talk about.

So I wanted to get into the other part.

The other part is,

I believe we don't fully understand our empathetic abilities.

And I think the general understanding is that we connect with people heart to heart.

We connect with people by feeling their feelings and we connect very deeply that way.

Which is true,

But I don't think that's the only thing that an empath does.

I think an empath has the ability to connect with other people very deeply,

Period.

Not just through their heart,

But also intellectually.

Reading their energy field,

You name it.

In all ways,

I believe an empath has the ability to connect with another person on a very deep basis.

In all ways.

And the reason I believe that is because when I started Life Coaching,

Within a year,

I was completely depleted.

I was like,

Because I was constantly feeling everybody else's emotions.

Because that's how I connected to them.

And I knew that I was like that.

I knew I was an empath.

I knew that I was experiencing a special connection with people.

And that this was a gift that I had.

And I thought,

Now I'm really in trouble because I can't continue doing this work if I continue connecting with people in this way because it drains me.

And I take on too much.

So I was like,

Well,

What if.

.

.

And this is when I got still and information or ideas would come to me.

And it was like,

I heard,

Well,

What if you connected mentally?

I was like,

Well,

I can't do that because then that's not using my empathetic abilities.

And I'm not going to be able to connect with these people that deeply.

And if I can't connect with them that deeply,

I'm not going to be able to help them that well.

And it's not going to go well.

And that's not good.

And then I got the thought that it's like,

Well,

You have to try it because you can't do this.

You've come to the conclusion,

You can't continue doing what you're doing.

And I know that this doesn't make sense intellectually,

But try it anyway.

Because you can't keep doing what you're doing.

So I did.

So I started just.

.

.

And it's hard to explain,

But I just tried connecting intellectually with people.

I stopped trying to connect with my heart and feel their feelings.

I started connecting deeply intellectually.

And within a couple of weeks,

I noticed that it was pretty natural.

Like it came really easy,

Which shocked the heck out of me.

And the other thing I found was that I connected very deeply.

I still understood them on a very,

Very deep level.

But I wasn't taking on all their emotions because I wasn't connecting with them through the heart.

And because I wasn't experiencing all that emotion,

I didn't have.

.

.

You know,

Emotion clouds our vision.

So I wasn't experiencing all that emotion.

And it wasn't clouding my vision,

Which I didn't even know was clouding my vision before until I tried connecting this way.

So when I connected more intellectually,

What I found was there was less emotion swirling around.

And I was better able to just cut to the chase and help people.

Because I wasn't all caught up feeling bad for them.

You can never feel bad enough for somebody to help them.

And I think that that's why the big controversial aspect of this podcast comes in.

It's because it seems like a lot of people are using the empath as another identity.

And it's a badge of honor.

Like,

Oh,

I feel what everybody feels.

So therefore,

I'm a good person.

And it's.

.

.

No,

Helping people is nice.

But you don't have to take on their crap.

That doesn't help them.

That doesn't make you good.

That doesn't mean that you're helping somebody because you're feeling all the pain and negativity that they're feeling.

That's not helpful to them.

So what's helpful to them is guidance.

Of course,

If they're open to it.

And if they're not open to it,

Then nothing's helpful to them.

They're not there yet.

So I think that that's,

Like I said,

The controversial part.

It's like,

Just because you're walking around feeling what other people are feeling,

It's not that important.

It doesn't do anything to walk around feeling what other people are feeling.

So if you can connect to them deeply on an intellectual basis.

.

.

And this is where I don't know if this is me.

I don't know if everybody can do this.

I know that.

.

.

Well,

I know it's not just me.

I know more than just me because I've talked with people about it.

So I know that some people can do this.

I don't know if it's a helpful answer to everyone or to some.

I would venture to say some.

Because we all have different paths.

But I found it immensely helpful to connect with people intellectually on a deep,

Deep,

Deep level,

Which I still believe is an asset of being an empath.

I think that's enhanced because I'm an empath.

But it's not about taking on their emotions and feeling what they're feeling.

That I found really isn't that helpful.

So now I'm going to breathe and take a sip of water.

What do you think,

Ben?

Wow.

That was a while.

That was a solid opening monologue.

Yeah.

We are halfway through the show.

Nice.

Yeah.

So I thought this originally when you first said this was the topic that we were going to do today.

And then as soon as you were talking,

It was completely solidified.

I feel a little out of my depth with this particular topic.

Because – all right.

I'll say this.

The specifics that you're talking about with all of this stuff,

I feel out of my depth talking about.

However,

The point that you made at the very beginning I think is that you said was controversial,

I think makes all the sense in the world.

At least something I said made sense.

Well,

No,

I mean – I know.

Just give me a hard time.

All of it made sense.

But the stuff that you said at the beginning that really made sense to me was that – because I looked up at the beginning of this,

I looked up the definition of empath.

Because it's a word that I hear a lot.

And obviously I know it's pretty self-explanatory that it's someone that feels a great deal of empathy for other people.

And empathy is connection and feeling what other people are feeling.

So I got that intellectually,

But I wanted to know it in the terms that you were talking.

And it specifically says in the definition,

The first thing is a paranormal ability.

Ah.

And I think what you're saying makes more sense than that definition to me,

Honestly.

Which is that it's an ability,

Sure,

But it's a spectrum.

And not only is it a spectrum,

But it's a spectrum that everyone is on.

Yeah.

So everyone – I believe – and taking from what you said and what just seems to be common sense to me,

I think that everybody has an empath spectrum,

An empathy spectrum.

And it depends – I think it's directly correlated with how open you are spiritually and as a person.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I think that people who are more closed off are going to feel less,

Obviously.

And people who are more open are going to feel more.

Well said.

Yeah.

And so unless you are using it – and this is controversial on my end – unless you're using it to define your identity,

I don't see how that's controversial.

Well,

I think the reason that I felt this was going to be so controversial is just because,

Like I said,

It's become a thing now.

It's a thing in the spiritual realm or not the spiritual realm,

In the spiritual communities.

And I think that,

Like everything else,

Empaths are – the term empath is just like everything else.

There are some people that are really getting it and there are some people that are dancing around the surface with it.

And the people who are dancing around the surface with it are,

I think,

Of course,

I think that they have the ability.

Because,

Like I said,

I think just about everybody on the spiritual walk has experienced this to some degree.

So yes,

I believe they are empaths,

But it's almost like,

Oh,

I'm an empath.

And so therefore,

They get a sense of – if it's an identity,

If you're using it for an identity,

That's where the danger comes in.

Because the identity of an empath is basically,

I'm special because I feel things that other people feel.

I must be a big-hearted good person because I have all these feelings.

And feelings just mean that I'm a caring,

Feeling person.

And poor me,

I have to watch out for all the negative people out there because I'm just so caring that I take on everybody else's crap.

And if you knew what that was like,

Oh,

The cross I bear.

That's where I see it lean when it goes too far in that direction.

People are walking around going,

Oh,

Poor me.

It's just another victim identity that,

Oh,

I have to watch out for – I have to constantly watch out for this big bad world imposing its negativity on me.

And it's,

Oh my God,

I'm so sick of hearing that whining.

It's been going on for years and it's getting worse.

Let it go,

People.

We're not a victim of anything.

I think being an empath is a God-given ability.

And if it's God-given,

It's not negative.

It's not here to hurt us.

It's not poor us.

I think it's just like a lot of things.

We're in a period of major growth and understanding in the spiritual realm right now.

And we're understanding it.

And all of a sudden,

Everybody's popping up going,

Oh my God,

You feel what other people feel?

I feel what people feel.

And everybody's getting all excited,

But we don't fully understand it.

I don't think I fully understand it.

I have my ideas that seem to be true to me and my experience.

And that's what I go by.

But who knows?

Next year,

They might shift a little.

But I think it is a broader.

.

.

What I'm getting is that it's a broader definition.

It's not just feeling.

It just means deeply connecting in every way and any way possible.

The ability to connect deeply with others.

Well,

We're all one energy field.

So it's just us tapping into that in different ways.

That's how I feel.

I think as we understand it more and we learn to use it more for the gifts that it has.

And this is really a cornerstone of my work.

On a daily basis,

This is what I do.

I connect with people on a deep level to make sure I get a full understanding to help them transcend their issues and see things different ways and enhance their life.

So this is something I do constantly,

Daily,

All the time.

And when I was able to do it without all the emotion,

It was like night and day.

I was like,

Oh my God,

I could do this forever.

And I got much better at my job because like I said,

There wasn't all that emotion around because I wasn't using the emotion aspect of empathy.

I was using the mental aspect of empathy,

Which again is just deep connection.

So there.

So I think you can do it other ways.

And don't get caught up in the identity of it.

You don't have to run around like a victim protecting yourself from every Tom,

Dick and Harry that doesn't have a perfect energy field.

It's okay.

And one of the ways I view myself from that perspective is,

To me,

Darkness isn't a thing.

It's just absence of light.

That's all.

So you don't have a bonfire and then all of a sudden,

And it's shining brightly for 30 feet around it.

And then all of a sudden,

Some darkness comes creeping up where the light wasn't paying attention and starts sneaking in.

And then the light goes,

Oh crap,

We got some darkness creeping in.

We have to shine bright over in that area.

Oh,

We almost missed it.

Like,

That's not how it works.

You just shine bright.

You know,

Just shine bright.

Your happiness is your responsibility.

Your happiness is within your power.

Anything that strips you of power,

I don't believe is spiritual.

So,

You know,

Empower yourself.

Stand in your light.

Shine brighter.

Work on yourself.

Expand yourself.

Be happier.

Be more peaceful.

Help others.

Shine bright.

And you don't have to worry about all this negative energy coming in.

If I meet somebody negative,

And I can see that they're negative,

You know,

A mile away,

I'm not sitting there going,

Oh,

I have to protect myself or doing some cleanse when I get home.

I'm just,

If I feel that something is needed,

Which usually I don't,

But like,

Let's say I did feel something was needed,

I would just be like,

Glenn,

Burn brighter.

Shine brighter.

Shine bright.

I don't have to worry about the darkness coming in.

Shine bright.

You know?

And that's what works for me.

And I know that half the people out there are going to be like,

That's a load of crap,

Which is fine.

You know,

We all have our own paths.

We all have our own empaths.

Oh,

Okay.

Everybody,

If you are not watching this on video,

Please just,

I don't care if you have to subscribe to Patreon,

Like for one day and watch this video,

Just so you can see Ben's face when he did that,

And then unsubscribe thereafter.

It's completely worth it.

It was the corniest phase.

You're welcome.

Yeah,

I enjoyed that.

Man,

I don't even know what else to say.

Like,

I don't,

You,

Obviously there was something you needed to get out there.

Yeah,

This has been building for a couple of years because it is.

It just seems like people are leaning on it as a victim mentality.

And that's whenever I see something that's disempowering,

It like over and over and over,

It gets under my skin.

And I'm like,

Come on people,

Empower yourself.

You know,

You're not a victim of anything,

Even if it's spiritual.

And as someone who has,

I mean,

I don't want to label myself anything.

Yeah,

Because I'll call you on it if you do.

Would you say,

Would you consider me to have empathic traits?

Yes,

I would.

Okay.

I think you're more of an empath than you even realize.

Yeah.

And we've had conversations a lot about letting other people's problems and energies and stuff affect me.

You know,

Family members,

Close friends and stuff,

Because I want to help people.

And I think that the biggest thing that you were talking about is you have a responsibility for yourself to not take on what you can't handle in that and to shine brighter,

Like you said,

And to find the ways to not let it affect you.

You know what I mean?

And I think that that's all of what you said,

And it was a great point.

And I found it really helpful in the past when we've had our one-on-one conversations about stuff in that area.

So I kind of think you said it all,

Man.

Well,

I think,

You know,

Just as you were saying that,

It reminded me of,

Like,

I think that the reason that it's so popular right now and coming in is it's all part of this growing edge of our learning curve,

You know,

Of becoming a better society and better people.

You know,

I say all the time,

We understand that we're supposed to be nice people,

Good people,

And care for one another.

We get that.

We get that on a deeper,

More profound level than we've ever gotten that in human society.

And it's part of the shift that's going on.

The problem is,

Is we don't understand what that looks like.

And this is why,

You know,

Setting boundaries,

People have so much trouble setting boundaries because they don't know what being nice looks like.

You know,

All we have for being nice is the typical Mother Teresa view where you give until your knuckles bleed and you don't take care of yourself.

You know,

And,

You know,

Now we found out with Mother Teresa's letters,

It wasn't always easy for her.

She struggled and suffered because of giving like that and not taking care of herself.

You know,

So there was,

It's not all perfect.

And we're not all Mother Teresa either.

She was a very special woman.

So,

You know,

So the other,

It's not only Mother Teresa,

I think it's mothers in general.

If we look at our only examples throughout history of people who are kind,

Loving,

And caring,

It's mothers.

You know,

Mothers represented kind,

Loving,

And caring throughout history.

And,

You know,

Mothers were,

Women in general were not treated well throughout history.

It was always,

You do for others,

Do for others,

Give,

Do for others,

Take care of others,

Take care of others.

And very little of it was take care of yourself.

You know,

And we're,

So that's throughout history,

Our examples,

Our subconscious beliefs and mentalities about being a good person is just all about helping others.

And that's it.

And that's what I think that's where we are in our learning curve.

And I think that that's what this mentality of being an empath is about.

I think that's its origination is we all understand we're supposed to be good people.

And then all of a sudden we find out this word empath and we're like,

Yes,

I'm an empath.

And yeah,

Cool.

Now I have a name for it because we're excited.

We got a name for it.

But we're falling back into the victim mode again.

And so let's not talking about empaths for a moment,

Talking about just plain trying to be a good person.

It's like being a good person,

We have to learn to care for ourselves and give from the overflow.

That's one of the most important things.

We cannot deplete ourselves and beat the crap out of ourselves in the name of being a good person.

It's not sustainable.

We injure ourselves through doing it.

And then we can't,

People are dying from diseases because they've just completely depleted themselves in the name of giving to others.

And then they're not there for their loved ones because they've died.

Or they're sick all the time or they've given of themselves financially to a point where they can't take care of themselves.

We're giving what we don't have.

And that's not the definition of being a loving,

Giving person.

We have to take care of ourselves,

Love ourselves first.

And then we can give from the overflow.

And I think that that is the biggest really growing edge that we have right now.

And then you take that mentality,

Put it into the empath and it's the same thing.

You don't get a badge of courage because you feel something that somebody else feels.

That doesn't make you a martyr.

You're not a good person just because of that.

As a matter of fact,

It doesn't really do much.

All it does is instead of one person feeling misery,

Now you have two people feeling misery.

So that's not helpful.

You know,

It actually expanded the problem.

Oh man,

If anybody was offended at the beginning and kept listening,

You're digging it.

Also,

I think that you could talk about this for literally three more hours.

No,

I'm just about done.

Is there anything you want to wrap up before we throw in some plugs?

Not really.

I think that's it.

I think it's just that we're still in the process of learning how to be good people.

And in that process,

We kind of lean into the victim mentality a little too much.

And we need to learn to be responsible for ourselves,

Our own energy,

And not take on other people's problems and energies and think that we're good because of it.

It's not helping matters.

So yeah,

I think that's my overview of the empath situation.

I think as we dive into it more,

I think we're going to get a deeper more,

Because this is just one guy's perspective.

I think we're going to see over the next couple of years that we're going to get a deeper understanding of it and people are going to learn how to manage it better.

It's just part of our learning curve.

That's all.

Absolutely.

All right.

So send your hate mail to glenn at glennambros.

Com.

Oh,

That's Ben.

Hate mail.

We've said this before.

A hate mail goes to Ben.

I get the love mail.

So you can,

Life coaching,

Weekly vlogs,

All the podcasts,

Everything,

Mindful Monday blogs.

You can find all of it at glennambros.

Com.

If you want to see video of our corny faces making jokes at each other during the podcast and more behind the scenes and exclusive content,

They can't see you.

I'm talking.

Hold on.

I'm going to interrupt you.

Is the camera on me yet?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Back to Ben.

Anyway,

For more of that,

Check out patreon.

Com slash glennambros.

There's a lot of stuff.

Follow Glenn on Facebook and Instagram and everything at glennambros,

Glennambros life coaching,

The great love project.

There's a lot of people that are using the hashtag the great love project these days,

Which is awesome.

Yes.

So check that out on Instagram.

You can follow me on Instagram if you want to.

Yeah.

Follow Ben.

Sure.

At BenBarber87 until I come up with a better Twitter handle for that.

But I mean,

Instagram,

Whatever.

Yeah.

So reach out,

Contact us.

Be a community.

Yeah.

And that'll do it.

And check out my retreat coming up in July of 2019.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

How are we forgetting about that?

I'm so excited about it.

Panama.

Panama.

The country.

2019,

July.

The country,

Panama.

Yeah.

So yeah.

Check out that and hopefully we'll put a little blurb at the end of this about that.

Yep.

So all right.

Thanks for listening,

Everybody.

We'll talk at you soon.

This summer,

Join Glenn for the first ever life lessons and laughter rejuvenation retreat.

July 14th to 20th in tropical Santa Catalina,

Panama.

For more info on the retreat and life coaching services,

Visit Glenn Ambrose dot com.

Reviews

Thanks, Glenn and Ben for this VERY INTERESTING conversation.
Having been aware of my God-Given Gift of Empathy from a fairly young age , and learning more about it over the years (via experience) I really appreciate your perspectives on this Gift.
I would personally disagree with your statement that “feeling other people’s feelings isn’t useful”, (which I don’t believe was your intended meaning) because I believe that being able to “feel” what someone else might be feeling is the CORNERSTONE of “Empathy”.
I’ve heard Empathy described as, “YOUR PAIN IN MY HEART”, which aptly describes what I experience.
But I also WHOLE-HEARTEDLY agree that “Taking on those Emotions without Coupling that ability with Logic and Wisdom” (NOT ALLOWING the EMOTIONS to Cloud the true purpose of the Gift) negates the Practical Abilities that come along with the gift.

LOVE your Talks and all the WISDOM they contain❣️🙏🏻💕