Contrast

In this episode, Glenn will be discussing 'Contrast'. Situations don't always go to plan or the way we'd like, which can cause immense stress or angst. Glenn explains that when something is contrary to our wishes, we can instead, view these situations as a learning opportunity that helps us illuminate the path we are currently heading on and how to change it if we wish.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons and Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hello everyone,

Welcome to the show.

Today we are talking about contrast.

Ooh,

Ahh.

So contrast,

I was talking with somebody the other day and kind of went into detail a little bit more than usual,

Because I like to look at contrast as learning opportunities,

You know,

And I like to look at things that we usually call problems or issues in our lives or things that are going in ways that we would rather not,

So we tend to get upset about them as contrast.

You know,

So if something's happening in our life,

If we're walking in a direction and all of a sudden a problem comes up,

Well that problem,

There's a reason for it.

You know,

So it's basically a learning opportunity.

It's there to kind of tell us,

Hey,

This might not be the direction that you want to go,

You have to firm your resolve,

There's,

It's there to capture our attention,

You know,

And that's the big aspect of it,

So I like looking at it as contrast.

So,

You know,

When I'm looking at contrast,

The definition,

Let's do that.

I'll look at contrast,

The definition.

All right.

It is the state of being strikingly different from something else,

Typically something in juxtaposition or close association,

Also to differ strikingly.

There's lots of synonyms,

Siminins.

There's a lot of cinnamon in this.

There's a lot of cinnamon in contrast.

There's a lot of synonyms,

And one of them is distinction,

Which is how I like to look at it.

You know,

It makes things stand out,

Like in a picture or a painting.

You know,

Contrast makes something stand out more.

Well,

Why do you want it to stand out?

So it captures your attention,

You know.

So that's what contrast is for in our lives.

It's to capture our attention,

And if we're walking through life like that and understanding that contrast is just there to capture our attention for our best interest,

So we can look at it and we can go,

Okay,

Something needs to be adjusted here.

If I want to continue walking in a direction that I want to walk in,

Then I need to make an adjustment here.

So this is,

I'm feeling contrast.

I'm feeling some sort of negativity.

That's the contrast.

So I don't want to head in that direction.

I want to make an adjustment and head in a different direction.

So the contrast is helpful to you because it's coming at a point where you need it.

Right.

You need the contrast so that you can see the other thing.

Sunny days wouldn't be so bright if we didn't have clouds every once in a while.

Right.

That kind of a.

.

.

Right.

So it's like if it was just sunny all the time,

Then that's just how things would be.

We'd take it for granted.

Well,

Heck,

We'd take it for granted sometimes now as it is.

But yeah,

It's true.

It's that contrast that kind of keeps things interesting and can help keep us on our path.

It's just when we look at things that come up in our lives that we don't like as a problem,

Then we're a victim.

And it's like,

Oh,

Why did this happen to me?

Oh,

Poor me.

And we're not in control of our own lives because there's something else out there,

Whatever it is,

Life,

Circumstances,

Whatever,

Doing things to you.

And you have no control over that.

And it's kind of mean.

That's kind of a crappy existence.

When you're just walking around doing all the right things and then life just comes in and starts hurting you.

If that were true,

And unconsciously,

That's how most of us look at life.

If that were true,

We would have no power to be happy in our lives.

So that would mean that the creator created all these people and said,

You are incapable of being happy because,

Randomly,

Life is just going to throw things at you and knock you for a loop.

And there's nothing you can do,

And there's no way to deal with it properly.

And you are just a victim of it.

So I'm going to put a bunch of people on earth and kind of put emotional asteroids just hitting them at random times for no apparent reason.

If Dave was here right now,

This is the part he would be nodding at.

So it's like,

You know,

Which if you,

You know,

Again,

It's unconsciously,

That's how most people look at life.

You kind of walk around feeling like you have no ability to control your own happiness and life knocks you for a loop every time.

But if you stop and go,

OK,

What is this contrast trying to show me?

You know,

What is there to learn?

Like,

I was just I stopped and talked to a random person yesterday.

It was kind of funny.

It just kind of rolled right into a conversation,

You know,

And they told me that they had worked one place for a long period of time.

And then just recently,

That job dissolved,

We'll say.

Well,

You know,

It wasn't anything that they did,

But basically the job dissolved and they no longer had it and they were dependent on it.

And as they were telling me the story,

I could tell that they were kind of in a victim mode,

Like,

Oh,

No,

You know,

Poor me.

My my job dissolved.

And I looked at them and I said,

Yes,

But you weren't fulfilled there.

And now I had never met this person before.

I'd been talking to him for five minutes.

I said,

Yeah,

But you weren't fulfilled with that job.

You weren't happy there.

And they were like,

Yeah,

You're right.

And I said,

Do you know how I know that you weren't happy or fulfilled at that job?

I didn't I don't know you.

I don't know your job.

And the reason I know you weren't happy and fulfilled is because it no longer exists.

If you were happy and fulfilled at that job,

It would be continuing on.

If it was serving you,

Then it would be serving the universe in general and you and everybody else around would be benefiting from it.

And there would be no reason for it to end.

But since you weren't happy and fulfilled,

That job dissolving was actually a gift to you.

So you could go find something else that actually does bring you happiness,

That does fulfill you.

And that's how we need to start looking at things as learning opportunities,

As just a little contrast to show us that there's something more for us.

And when we start,

Most people believe in some sort of higher power.

So if most people believe in some sort of higher power,

But most people believe that they're victims of life,

Well,

Then they're not leaning on their belief in a higher power.

They say they believe in it,

But they're not actually not using that belief.

So if we start looking at things from the perspective that there is a higher power that actually loves us,

There's some loving force out there that wants the best for us because as we expand,

The universe expands.

So it's just plain self-preservation.

If we start looking at things like that and we go,

OK,

Well,

When things happen in my life,

It's to push me to become a better version of myself.

It's because I was kind of sleepwalking a little bit and it pulled out a bunch of contrast for me to see something.

That's what that contrast does,

Is it's supposed to differentiate things so much that it stops us in our tracks and we can see something different.

So there.

And breathe.

You don't have to.

I have to.

I thought that you were telling the audience as a whole.

No,

Just me because I was going for a while.

So,

I mean,

I can see evidence of that in my own life,

As anyone should be able to.

We I had a I had like a good,

Decent job working from home from a call center that was actually horrible.

It was horrible for me personally,

Physically,

Emotionally,

Like horrible for me.

And it ended actually literally like within days of meeting you.

But it ended and it never came back.

So like it was it was a job that you would do for months and then you would take a couple of weeks off and then it would come back and it stopped coming back.

And if it hadn't stopped coming back,

Then I would have never created the children's theater that I created.

Right.

Because I wouldn't have had to.

Right.

And that was way more fulfilling and made way more money and put good out into the world.

And yeah,

You know,

What you just said was important is like because you wouldn't have had to.

And that is that's why life does this to us is because we're all running around living unconsciously,

You know,

And everybody's going,

Oh,

Where's God in that?

And where is God in this?

God is right there bringing contrasts into our lives because it's the only way we'll pay attention,

Because we won't do what's good for us out of our own consciousness,

Because we're not living consciously.

Most people are living unconsciously and they go,

OK,

I've got a paycheck and I can put food on the table.

So that's a good job.

And it's not I mean,

You know,

Putting that's not what you're here to do.

You weren't put on the planet to put food on the table.

You were put here on the planet to become more of yourself.

And how do you do that?

You do things that make you feel fulfilled and make you feel happy.

That's why different things make different people feel happy and fulfilled,

Because we're all supposed to be doing different things.

Right.

You know,

So as you walk in that direction now,

If we walk through life consciously and we go,

You know what,

This job that I have really isn't that fulfilling.

I think I'll change.

Well,

Then then life won't come and take a job away from you because you're doing it yourself.

Right.

You know,

But if you don't do it yourself,

Then life does come and take it away from you.

Why?

Because it loves you and it and it knows that this is not what's best for you.

You know,

And instead of instead of going,

You know,

Oh,

Thank you.

Thank you for getting me out of that crappy position.

We go,

Oh,

My God,

I can't believe this happened to me.

And it's like,

Well,

It happened to you.

That's why we have to kind of if we start shifting our perspective that,

You know,

Everything is in our highest good.

And,

You know,

That when things happen to us,

There's a reason for it.

And we have to look for that reason and grow from it and expand from it.

When we start looking at things from that perspective thing,

You know,

We get happier.

Have you ever heard the song Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks?

I think so.

So the whole premise of the song is that he.

I'm at least there might have been other verses,

But what I'm remembering specifically is there was a girl that he was in love with in high school.

He just wanted to go out with any prayed every night and it never happened.

And he's like,

What?

What's going on?

You know,

And then years later,

He's at the high school football game with his wife and he runs into her and like it was like,

What?

Like that girl was,

You know,

But then he looks at everything that he has and he's like.

Oh,

I'm glad I didn't get what I wanted.

Right.

At this point,

Because if I had gotten what I wanted there,

I wouldn't have ended up where I am,

You know,

But at the time it felt like a door was being shut.

Right.

And when that door shuts,

Another one opens.

Right.

I have a I have a friend who took.

Who took a route from point A to point B,

Right?

And when when they finally got to point B,

It took years and when they finally got to point B,

They found out they could have taken a much shorter walk a long time ago to point B.

Yeah.

And all of the like,

Like the the odyssey,

The the long journey,

Like,

Yeah,

Wouldn't have happened and it would have just been very easy to do this.

And I just had to like I have to keep reminding them or I did have to keep reminding them that like.

You weren't ready to get to point B.

Right.

When it was easy,

Because if you were,

You would have.

Right.

And now that you're at point B,

It's better than it would have been then because of this long,

Weird trip.

Right.

It's what you become along the way,

You know.

If it's supposed to be a short walk,

It'll be a short walk.

And if it's not supposed to be a short walk,

Everything that happens in between happens for a reason.

And if it is a if you never get to that destination,

You were not supposed to.

No.

And the destination that you get to will be better or more fulfilling or there will be a bigger reason for you to get to the destination that you do get to than the destination that you wanted to.

That seemed really easy.

Oh,

Yeah,

Absolutely.

And everything's like that.

It's you know,

That it is who we become like we we constantly grow with every step that we take.

You know,

That's why we can't we can't always well,

Pretty much never.

We're never going to be able to map out exactly how a journey is going to go,

Because we don't know.

We're not fully conscious of everything that we need to learn and the steps and and but what we do know is that everything that we need will be provided for us to be happy and fulfilled.

And a lot of times it's like whenever when when I'm working with younger kids,

Especially like launching out or people changing careers and stuff,

I always like even if they know what they want to do,

I tell them,

OK,

Fine,

Keep your eyes on the prize.

Keep your goal out there where you want to go and start walking towards it.

But while you're walking towards it,

Keep your eyes open because you might stumble across something that you like even better.

You know,

You never know because that's you know,

Maybe you don't if you don't know a particular job exists.

How are you going to walk towards it?

So,

You know,

You can't remember last episode or it was in the last group of episodes that we recorded.

We talked about passions.

Yeah.

And there's a like we specifically talked about people that like sports,

You know,

And if you're a young athletic person and you have aspirations that are way beyond what most people do,

You're probably not going to end up in the NBA.

You're probably not going to end up in Major League Baseball,

Whatever it is,

You know.

But if you look at that door closing and you focus on the fact that that shut and then you completely abandon it.

Right.

You could miss,

You know,

All of these things that we talked about last time,

Which was like maybe you could go to broadcasting school or learn how to broadcast.

Maybe you could just.

.

.

And it's the same thing with.

.

.

Start a podcast and talk to your friends about it.

Maybe you could just,

You know,

Be in a really successful fantasy league.

And I see that with people who have like professional athletes that have had injuries.

You know,

A lot of them that have had injuries,

You know,

Career ending injuries.

One of two things happens.

Either that door shut and they fall into victimhood and then they end up in chemical dependencies,

Alcoholism,

Suicide,

You know,

Anything.

All types of detrimental situations.

Or they accept it and then open up and start looking,

You know,

In other directions.

And the ones who start looking in other directions find it.

And when they find it,

If you talk to them,

They're not miserable.

They're sitting there talking and there's multiple ones that I've heard specifically say this.

Some are obviously like motivational speakers because people will listen to them because they were.

.

.

They hit a certain level of success that other people strive for.

So people will listen to them.

So sometimes they're getting their fulfillment by helping others reach levels of success.

Maybe in sports or business or life or anything else.

But others are,

You know,

Obviously coaching and stuff like that.

But others get jobs in completely different areas that they find very fulfilling.

You know,

And they're like,

Oh my God,

That was such a wonderful chapter of my life when I played professional sports.

And now,

You know,

I have an even.

.

.

I'm completely fulfilled where I am.

You know,

Because they looked for it.

You know,

And it's.

.

.

So what's the difference between the person who ends up committing suicide or depressed or addicted and the person who ends up fulfilled and happy?

The only difference is how they looked at the situation that happened.

That's it.

One looked at it as contrast and said,

OK,

You know,

This is closed and,

You know,

There's a whole bunch of things popping up in my life here.

I need to look at this closely and go,

OK,

This chapter is done.

That door is being closed for a reason.

What?

Now what?

You know,

And then they look for it and they find it.

The other ones go,

Oh no,

This door shut.

It's not fair.

Poor me.

I can't believe this happened to me.

My life is over.

And they stay there.

You know,

So it's all about how we process it when it happens.

Two days ago,

Dave and I were in a long drive back from a job and we were talking about this thing that we loved to do.

And it was a big part of what we did.

And it was kind of like our identity for a long time.

And the door shut some time ago.

And we've just looked at it for a long time and gone,

I wish I could open that door again right now.

You know,

Yeah.

And we've made plans and we've talked about it.

And I'm sure that we could open it if we wanted to.

But we just went and he said it and I completely agree.

Like,

No.

What are we doing?

Like,

We don't have time to waste on that.

We don't have time to think about that.

Like,

There are other opportunities.

There are other doors that are open that we need to be focusing on instead of looking at this door that's been closed for a while.

Yeah.

And we keep staring at it and we keep wishing we would open again.

Right.

But we're not and it's not.

Yeah,

It's closed for a reason.

And there's these other doors that are wide open and they're just like,

Hey guys,

Come through.

Yeah.

Come through.

And we have,

I mean,

We've leaned towards those doors,

But we still keep looking back at the other one for no reason.

Yeah.

And,

Um,

So,

And do you see how,

Like,

The,

Just the fact that that door is closed.

So,

You know,

Like if you have a bunch of open doors,

There's just a bunch of open doors.

But if you have open doors and closed doors,

That's your contrast.

Right.

You know,

There's a difference.

It makes those open doors stand out.

If you're standing there in a hallway with all open doors,

Somebody says,

What are you looking at?

You go,

A bunch of open doors.

But if you're standing in a hallway where some doors are shut and some doors are open,

Now all of a sudden it's a little bit easier to make your decisions.

Because you,

It's showing you that some avenues are closed off to you and some avenues are wide open.

You know,

It's that sunny sky.

It's like,

I mean,

If everything's wide open,

How do you choose?

It's very hard to choose.

That's why contrast comes in our lives.

And so instead of getting angry because one of the doors is shut,

Look around and find out which ones are open because you're being directed there.

Right.

You know,

So it's a gift that these doors are shut because you're not supposed to be going in that direction.

So life is trying to tell you,

Let me help you.

Please don't go here.

Please go there.

And the only way it can do that is through contrast.

And that's kind of the whole point.

It's hard when you're living unconsciously to not,

To notice,

It's hard to notice the doors that are open when you're living unconsciously.

It's hard to not just fixate on whatever the thing is that you wanted.

You know?

Yeah.

And it's,

You know,

So those that we talk,

Like pretty much the whole podcast was kind of like big thinking contrast,

You know?

And but what's,

You know,

The way things work is they always work in small ways as much as they work in big ways.

So like in our lives,

Contrast can show us what we need to work on within ourselves.

You know,

I remember years ago,

Somebody was being very,

Very defensive.

This was like,

This was like 12,

13 years ago.

Somebody was being like crazy defensive,

Over the top,

Like,

You know,

Kind of like,

Hey,

How are you?

What is that supposed to mean?

You know,

Something like that,

Like,

You know,

Just completely defensive for zero reason.

And I got off the phone and I went,

Oh my God,

Why are they so defensive?

And then all of a sudden I got,

I heard like mirror,

They're your mirror.

And if you see something in somebody else,

It's probably reflecting back to you something within yourself that you need to work on.

And I went,

Defensive?

I'm not defensive.

Oh my God,

I'm very defensive.

It was like,

I,

That was,

I mean,

You know,

That was my whole childhood was being defensive.

It kind of dictated a lot of things that I did,

A lot of my behaviors who I became through my formative years,

Because I was,

You know,

I'd get picked on and I didn't know how to deal with it.

And then all of a sudden I learned if somebody attacks you,

If you attack back 10 times harder,

A lot of times they'll back down.

So that's what I started doing.

So I was like,

I was completely defensive.

I was waiting for people to attack me.

And as soon as they did,

I launched at them like a tiger attacking back 10 times harder.

And I'm like,

Geez.

Yeah.

Oh,

Okay.

So,

So now I was in control of this situation,

You know,

Now,

Obviously that's not a good way to deal with things.

Where did that get you?

It got me a lot of drama.

It got me a bad reputation.

It got me into a lot of trouble,

But I was so shortsighted at the time that I just didn't want to get picked on anymore.

And I stopped that for the moment.

So,

So I was like,

Good enough.

You know,

Like all this,

All the negativity that followed with it,

I took.

It was easier for me to take that than to take the feelings that I was feeling getting picked on.

You know,

I couldn't take that.

I decided I couldn't take that anymore.

So whatever I needed to do to stop that I would do.

And that's what I did.

And it's,

You know,

That's why I lived,

You know,

One of the reasons that I lived a very dysfunctional 20 years,

You know,

Between 15 and 35,

I was a mess because that's how I dealt with things.

And until I woke up at 35,

You know,

Maybe I didn't physically attack people,

But verbally I did,

You know,

And,

And even when I couldn't do it verbally inside my head,

I was doing it.

That's how I dealt with things.

I dealt with things the same way at 35 as I did at 15.

You know,

It was just,

I was a victim and I was getting attacked and I would attack back.

And,

You know,

And it did not lead to a very productive or successful life.

I'll have you say.

I'd like to just end with pointing out one thing that I think that could possibly be confusing in the podcast.

When we're saying the contrast is sometimes like the closing of a door and you have to look for the other one,

It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to give up on the destination that you want to get to all the time.

Right.

Like that was the example that I used of like,

That's not the area we're going through,

But.

But the example you gave with your friend that took the long road.

Point A and point B.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

It's just sometimes we have to go through a different door to,

To head in a direction,

You know,

That,

And,

And we all of a sudden that door,

We walk through that one and it connects further up the road to where we're going anyway.

You know,

We,

We don't know.

That's the whole point.

It's like,

We can't map out the whole journey.

Right.

Just follow the open doors.

And eventually one of two things is going to happen.

Either you're going to get to the destination you expected to,

And you're going to be really happy and fulfilled and well adjusted because of the journey you took to get there.

Or you're going to find a completely different destination that you never would have expected that brought you more happiness and fulfillment than the one that you thought you wanted.

I think that's a great way to wrap it up.

So there,

Take that.

All right.

And go live it.

Uh,

So glennambros.

Com.

Yes,

Glenwood2Ends.

That's become a thing now.

Glenwood2Ends.

Yeah.

I'm Glenwood2Ends.

All right.

Are there a lot of Glen's with just one end?

I think so.

Okay.

I think there's actually probably more with one end than two.

But it's getting,

People are aware of that now.

When I was a kid,

They weren't.

Like now people are like,

Oh Glen,

Two ends or one?

Yeah.

It's kind of nice.

Also,

We're going to try something out.

Like our Facebook page,

Life Lessons in Laughter on Facebook,

And you can find Glen on Facebook as well.

And there's also a discussion group.

It's a closed,

It's a group,

It's open,

You can join it for listeners to the show that want to ask questions,

That want to talk to other listeners about things.

Whatever you want to do.

Yeah,

And I can jump in there and.

.

.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

And if you guys use it and you like it,

That's great.

Keep using it.

It'll grow.

If not,

That's okay too.

Yeah,

We'll just see how it goes.

If that door shuts,

We'll be okay with it.

If it opens and turns into something wonderful that helps people,

Then awesome.

Alright.

Thank you,

Glen.

Alright.

Thank you everybody and we'll talk about you soon.

Reviews

Glenn I needed that thanks for the medicine 😂🙏

Excellent as always 😁 Xxxxxx thank you Glenn with 2 ns 💜x

Wowsers! Another great thought provoking podcast! Thanks for sharing the wisdom! Behold, the power of the truth!

Love the contrast mindset as a tool to grow! Merci!

Glenn
Thank you for another wonderful podcast! 2 years ago, I thought like a victim but after listening to your podcasts, I now see the contrast as working in my favor.
I hope all listeners will stick with their transformation and find joy and peace🙏🏻

Always a pleasure guys!

A challenging and meaningful lesson!

So Encouraging! I felt as you were talking directly to my ear. Thank you ✨✨✨

A great contrast to what you usual do 😂😚