Choose Whatever You Want

If you want to stay in an unhealthy situation, choose to stay consciously. If you want to stay angry about something, stay angry consciously. If you choose consciously instead of rationalizing and blaming, you'll eventually choose something different on your own terms. It's unnatural to choose to suffer so eventually you'll choose something different.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hey.

Hey,

Everybody.

What's happening?

I think my computer's tilted a little bit.

That's probably a little too much the other way.

Oh,

Well.

I'll just go back to how it was.

Welcome to the show.

Welcome to behind the scenes of the show.

So,

Yeah,

Today,

This is actually,

This podcast is actually unknowingly an extension of the last podcast.

Because,

You know,

I was talking about how important choice is.

And I had the topic,

But as I started,

You know,

Trying to come up with a title and stuff,

I was like,

OK,

Well,

It's this is kind of about giving you the ability to choose whatever you want,

Unhealthy or healthy.

So,

You know,

So kind of it's basically an extension of what I was talking about before.

But,

Of course,

Coming at it from a different angle and technically it is a different topic,

Especially since I hadn't intended for them to be connected this way,

But just how it turned out.

So so I made a post the other day and it really resonated with me as something that I teach regularly,

But maybe haven't hyper focused on in a podcast.

So I decided to do the podcast.

So really,

It's about living consciously and choosing whatever you want.

So,

You know,

A lot of times we we go through life and we're trying to live the spiritual way and we end up.

We end up kind of bypassing things sometimes or just,

You know,

And not that not spiritual,

Not spiritual bypassing,

I think that that's way overused.

But like sometimes we do just kind of,

You know,

Try to look at things from the positive perspective,

Like all the time and we go too far in one direction is my point.

So like with this,

You know,

I'm talking about just choosing whatever you want,

Just consciously choose whatever you want to do.

And I mean,

Even stuff that's negative,

Like,

You know,

Sometimes I will consciously choose to just stay in a bad mood.

Maybe I haven't been in a bad mood in a while and I'm in a bad mood and I'm just like,

And my first instinct is like,

What's wrong,

Glenn?

You know,

Maybe you should try to get out of this.

And of course,

If I can just,

You know,

Focus on something that's bothering me and tweak it a little.

So it's not bothering me.

And then I can get on with my day and a better energy thing.

Of course,

I'm going to do that.

But sometimes it's like I don't want to do that.

Like this is part of me that just doesn't want to run around clicking my heels every day.

I don't think we should have to run around clicking our heels every day.

And I don't think that that should be our expectation.

You know,

We can have bad days.

And if we're constantly trying to avoid them at all costs,

That's too far in one direction.

You know,

We're in an experiential reality.

So we're here to experience things,

Everything.

That means we're going to experience sadness.

And just because we're experiencing sadness doesn't mean that there's something wrong with us.

And it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with the world.

Now,

We're not.

So most people are like the problem I see with this mentality,

Because a lot of people are probably going,

Yes,

I agree,

Glenn.

But the problem is,

Is we go too far with it and we walk around being negative or miserable over something for days and weeks and years and and letting things bother us.

And it's like,

No,

That's not what I mean.

Like I just mean consciously choosing your experience,

Consciously choosing your experience.

So if I want to be in a bad mood one day and I go,

OK,

I'm just you know what?

It's just a crap day.

I'm not going to allow myself to think about anything because all I'm going to think are crappy thoughts.

I'm not going to allow myself to come to any conclusions on anything because the only thing that makes sense to me are crappy thoughts.

So I'm going to come to crappy conclusions.

So I'm not going to do anything.

You know,

I'm not going to make any life decisions.

I'm not going to do anything that can affect me in the future on a day like this.

But if I want to be in a crap mood,

I'll be in a crap mood.

Fine.

And just fine.

You know now.

But see,

The reason.

That this is actually a healthy practice is because you're consciously choosing it.

See,

Most times when people allow themselves to be in a bad mood,

What they do is they demonize the situation that's making them upset.

They rationalize why they should be upset.

They use these things like righteous anger.

I have a right to be upset.

No,

You don't.

I mean,

Sure,

You have a right to be upset,

But that all that gets you is upset.

So why would you cash in that right?

Yeah,

You have a right to be miserable every day of your life.

You have a right to go take a pellet gun and shoot yourself in the back of the head.

But are you going to do it?

Hopefully not.

It's your right.

I don't know why you would consciously choose that.

So my point is,

Is that just because something is your right,

Doesn't mean that you should be running around doing it.

So that's how most people give themselves permission to be upset or permission to be sad.

They say they say,

Well,

I should be upset.

I should be mad.

No,

That's a choice.

You don't have to be mad just because something that's going on in your life goes against what you want to be happening.

That's optional.

That's a choice that you're making.

You're choosing to be upset.

You're choosing to be moody.

You're choosing to be pissed off.

And that's fine.

But choose it.

Consciously choose it.

And tell yourself that I am consciously choosing to be upset.

Fine.

See,

That is healthy.

Running around going,

Well,

You'd be upset if it happened to you.

No,

Probably not.

In most situations,

A lot of things that upset people don't upset me.

Sometimes,

Yes.

But if I choose to be upset,

I don't say it's because of the situation.

Yes,

The situation triggered,

Maybe triggered the initial upset.

But then I have a choice.

Do I want to choose to stay upset?

Because being upset doesn't solve anything.

We don't think things deep enough.

People are like,

Oh,

I have the right to be upset.

This happened to me,

So I'm upset.

But what do you get from that?

How does it benefit you?

Because you can choose to not be upset.

You can be like,

I'm not going to allow this to upset me.

You can do that.

But people don't realize they can do that.

They think like if something negative happens,

Then they have to be upset.

And if they they're not upset,

Then there's something wrong with them or they're bypassing something.

No,

No.

Being upset holds no value.

It doesn't benefit you in any way.

It doesn't do anything for the situation.

All it is,

Is a little kid pouting in the corner.

That's all it is.

You know,

Your little kid goes and pouts in the corner.

Do you look at your child and say that is an appropriate response?

You should stay pouting in that corner until your situation changes.

No,

Of course not.

Why?

Because it doesn't do anything.

That's why.

So we teach our children this.

But as adults,

We think we're supposed to be pouting and walking around upset because something happened that we don't like.

No,

That's an optional choice.

When something that upsets you happens,

You have a choice.

You can,

You know,

As to how to handle it,

You can choose to stay upset.

You can choose to take action and not be upset.

You can choose to practice acceptance and not be upset.

So you can choose to be upset or choose not to be upset.

That is completely separate of the actual solution to the problem.

Because whether you're upset,

Whether you're not upset,

Doesn't change the problem.

Whatever upset you,

It doesn't change that,

Doesn't change the stimuli.

So that's just a free choice.

Whether you choose to stay upset or whether you choose not to is up to you.

Now,

Back to the situation,

You can either choose to take action on it or you can choose to accept it.

Those are usually the two main ones.

And I'm probably going to leave it there because there's no sense in going off on other tangents.

So my point is,

Is whether you take action or whether you practice acceptance,

Being angry isn't mandatory.

It doesn't affect those choices.

As a matter of fact,

If you choose not to be angry,

You're much more capable of making the correct choice.

So all anger does is it inhibits your ability to make a good choice or to deal with things in a healthy manner.

Because you're upset and your emotion is guiding your actions or your non-actions,

Which emotions aren't good for making decisions.

They're not good for transcending problems or figuring out solutions.

That's not what emotions are there for.

They're just there to capture your attention.

So you can either,

Okay,

Thank you.

This upset me.

Should I take action or should I accept it?

And then make your choice,

But you don't have to stay upset.

So that's a conscious choice.

What I'm saying is sometimes there are times when I choose to stay upset.

I don't know completely why.

Maybe because I'm supposed to experience everything in this world.

And if I don't experience some sort of level of upset or sadness every once in a while,

Then I get some disillusioned reality that I'm supposed to be living in.

So maybe it's just healthy for me in that way.

But I'll choose it.

What's cool about choosing to stay upset is that after a while you choose to not be upset.

Why?

Because it's a choice and nobody would consciously choose to suffer.

Not if they're in their right mind.

They're not going to sit there and go,

Well,

I could be upset.

Well,

I've allowed myself to stay upset for a day,

For two days about this.

I could consciously choose to stay upset for three days,

Four days,

Five days if I want,

Because I have that right.

I can consciously choose that.

Do I want to?

Not really.

Sometimes I might want to allow myself to be angry for a day,

But I don't allow myself to be angry for three,

Four or five days.

That sounds like walking through hell.

Why would I want to put myself through that?

So if you know it's your choice,

After a little while,

Maybe a day or two,

You usually choose to get out of it.

And you're not a victim of it.

You're upset is your choice.

The feeling of upset is your decision.

So therefore you have control over it.

It puts you in the driver's seat.

Otherwise you're upset because of this.

You think you're upset because of the stimuli.

Oh,

That happened.

So I'm upset.

I have no choice.

I have to be upset and the stimuli hasn't changed.

So I have to stay upset.

So you're handing your power away.

You're giving the ability of what you experience within your body,

Happiness or madness.

You give that to external circumstances.

You say this happened externally,

So therefore I have to be upset.

And I guess I'm going to stay upset until that external thing changes.

So I have no control over whether I'm happy,

Whether I'm sad,

Whether I'm mad,

Nothing.

It's just based on my external circumstances.

This is how we give our power away on a regular basis.

Through inanimate objects and circumstances.

There's no way anybody can be happy if you're not in control of your happiness.

If you're not in control of your happiness,

If your circumstances are in control of your happiness,

You have no chance of being happy.

Because you might be happy occasionally,

Randomly,

Spontaneously,

But you have no control over it.

You can't live an actual happy life because you're on an emotional roller coaster at the whim of whatever happens next.

That's no way to go through life.

So consciously choose it.

So if we consciously choose suffering,

Then we're going to get sick of suffering and consciously choose not to suffer.

This is what puts us in the driver's seat.

That's what's so cool about it.

Let's see if I have any other notes.

Staying stuck.

If you don't like the situation that you're in,

Let's say you hate your job and you're sitting there going,

I hate my job.

Hopefully the thought comes to you,

Should I go look for another job?

And you go,

No,

Screw that.

I don't have the energy.

I'm just going to stick with this one.

Okay.

All right.

But pause for a moment and go,

So I'm consciously choosing to stay in a job that I don't like.

Is that correct?

Yeah.

So you could choose something different.

I'm in control of my experiences.

I could go look for another job.

I just don't freaking feel like it right now.

So I'm not going to.

Okay,

Cool.

That's fine.

There's nothing wrong with that.

So stay stuck.

But what happens is unconsciously,

If you program the information into your brain that way,

That is an empowering way to look at life.

I am in control of my experiences.

I have options.

I can go look for another job.

I'm choosing not to.

Cool.

Live it.

Own it,

Man.

Own it.

And if somebody says,

If somebody comes up to you and questions you,

Be like,

I'm consciously choosing to stay in this.

It's my right.

I'll suffer if I want to.

Okay,

Cool.

Anybody says that to me?

I'm like,

Okay,

Cool.

Sweet.

You do you.

I get it.

See,

I have no problems when somebody is consciously choosing suffering.

I have problems when somebody comes to me and says,

Oh,

I hate my job.

Well,

Why don't you go look for another one?

Oh,

I can't.

You don't understand.

I love that.

You don't understand.

Like I need to know the specifics of their job.

There's not many jobs in my field.

My boss is a jerk.

All the normal excuses.

I don't have a choice.

Yeah,

You do.

That I have a problem with because that is handing your power away.

That's disempowering.

It's a disempowering outlook.

That's why it's unhealthy.

It will never serve you.

And as a life coach,

I can't allow it.

I mean,

Unless somebody quadruples down,

Then they don't,

They won't be working with me because you know,

If somebody just says,

No,

I refuse to change.

I refuse to take your advice,

Glenn.

I refuse to do anything.

I just want to suffer.

Okay.

Well then you don't need a life coach.

You can suffer and save money without one.

Like why hire me?

You know?

So they don't need,

They don't need my help.

But like,

If you consciously choose your suffering,

Then eventually you're going to consciously choose to end your suffering.

Why?

Because it's your choice.

It's not natural to punish yourself over and over and over and over again.

When you have the choice to not punish yourself,

It is unnatural for us to stay stuck in a situation that we don't like.

If we have an option to get out of it,

It's unnatural.

It just like you can't stay stuck forever by consciously choosing it.

Eventually,

If you know you have another option,

Eventually you're going to choose the other option.

Because it's just not natural.

It's,

It's not,

You know,

That,

That's like a,

Like a dog going over and hitting a,

You know,

They have the Pavlov's dog where,

You know,

The light goes on and the dog starts salivating,

Right?

Well,

They have these other experiments with monkeys where they have all these monkeys and there's a banana at the top of the rope.

And every time the banana,

A monkey goes up the rope to try to get the banana,

They,

They hose the thing down with ice cold water.

They hose all of them down with ice cold water.

So what happens after time is these monkeys,

They stop,

They stop trying to go up to the rope and the other monkeys will pull the other one down.

If one tries,

The other ones will pull it down.

Because they're like,

I don't want to get doused with cold water.

So what happens is even animals,

Like if they have a choice to not experience something negative,

They're going to choose to not experience something negative.

They're going to try to prevent themselves from getting doused with cold water.

If they can prevent themselves from getting doused with cold water,

Right?

It's just like,

That's what living beings do.

They,

They,

They,

They,

They,

Like that's what living beings do.

They,

You know,

If you touch a hot stove and you usually don't do that again,

Why?

Because you didn't like the effect that it got,

Gave you,

You know?

So this is the same mentality.

If you're consciously choosing and you give yourself that awareness and say,

Yes,

I am choosing to stay stuck.

I'm choosing to stay in a situation that I don't like.

I'm choosing to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy for me.

Okay,

Fine.

Stay in your unhealthy relationship.

Do yourself a favor,

Stay right in it.

And every day when you get up and you think about how crappy it is,

Be like,

Okay,

That's okay.

I'm choosing this.

I'm choosing to stay in this dysfunctional relationship.

I'm choosing to stay in this job that I don't like.

I'm choosing to stay in this situation that I don't like just be that.

That's the truth because we all have choices.

And if you don't think you do start researching other online,

People who got out of this situation,

People who got out of that situation,

Other jobs,

Um,

Ways of getting out of a relationship,

Uh,

Whatever,

Get,

You know,

There are options.

I mean,

Of course there might be somebody in some impoverished country somewhere that doesn't have the same options as most people in the world,

But I'm talking to most people in the world.

There are always exceptions to a particular situation.

You know,

The,

There,

There are situations where if,

You know,

If you are handcuffed in a cellar by a serial killer,

And somehow you can't get out and you,

But you can hear this podcast.

I'm not talking to you.

Okay.

Um,

Okay.

Well,

I'm going to wrap up this podcast because I just got an unexpected delivery.

So hopefully you guys got the message and,

Um,

I'll talk with you soon.

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