Being An Effective Leader

Whether you’re a CEO, middle manager, or a hard working parent, everyone at some point finds themselves in a leadership position. This episode discusses the simple steps you can take to actively engage and inspire your employees, followers, and children.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons and Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hello,

Welcome to the show everybody.

Today we are talking about leadership.

Ship,

Ship,

Ship,

Ship.

I like that.

Leadership.

How many people do you think are no longer listening to this episode?

All the smart ones.

We're talking about leadership.

We thought we'd get into it because leadership is leadership.

It doesn't really matter if you're talking about business or parenting or anything.

It can be sports teams.

It can be anything.

So the leadership is really.

.

.

I've been listening to this guy,

I'm not going to remember his name.

I know his name is Simon.

He has some really good,

Deep thoughts about business and leadership and stuff.

One of the things that he said is really about leadership.

He said,

When you're leading,

What you need to be a leader is followers.

That's it.

That's literally all you need to be a leader is you need followers.

So how do you get followers?

How do you get people to follow you?

I think that that is a good way to structure our thought process about it.

Because usually we're sitting there going,

Well,

How do I become a leader?

And it's all about me and what I should possess and what I should be doing and what I should be telling everybody.

And that's really not the best way to get followers because not once have you thought about who's following you.

So it's all about thinking about who's following you and why would they want to follow you and what would they need to follow you.

Things like that.

So if you're thinking about your followers,

Then you'll be a good leader.

But if you're thinking about yourself and you're not thinking about your followers,

You're probably not going to be a good leader.

What do you think about that,

Ben?

Benjamin?

Benjamin Barber?

What do you think about that,

Benjamin Barber?

Well,

Why are you dropping my full name on the show?

People are going to look me up now.

Yeah,

They couldn't have done that before today.

Send your hate mail to… Benjamin Barber.

Yeah.

I know that I had at Benjamin Barber on Twitter and I gave it up.

Oh my God.

I don't know why I did that.

Anyway,

Not that that's important.

But yeah,

Send all your hate mail to me.

I know I have a nasally voice.

Send all your love mail to me.

Wow.

No,

I think that,

As you said,

It's very important to acknowledge that leadership is very broad.

Anybody,

Everybody eventually is in a leadership position somewhere in some capacity.

If you're a parent,

You're a leader.

If you're a boss of something,

If you're a manager of something,

If you're on a sports team,

If you're… Right.

And you don't necessarily always have to be deemed the leader to be a leader.

You don't have to have the title.

Right.

Groups of friends have leaders sometimes.

Most of the time,

Actually,

There's somebody who is the person that says,

Most of the time,

Hey,

Let's go do this.

Hey,

Why are we doing this?

Hey,

Let's stop doing this.

Yeah.

You can tell we had different friends growing up.

I never had anybody thoughtful enough to go,

Hey,

Let's stop doing this.

That was not my childhood.

That was me and I don't have any of those friends anymore that I tried to say,

Hey,

Let's stop doing this.

No,

That's not true.

I probably did have people that did say that here and there,

But I just didn't listen.

Hey,

Glenn,

You should really stop doing that.

I,

For real,

Had a group of friends in high school that we started to do the things that high schoolers do.

I was the one that stood up and said,

Hey,

We should not do this stuff.

This is bad stuff.

In a course of two or three months,

None of those people were my friends anymore.

Yeah.

We look at that like that's a bad thing.

It's actually a very good thing because you didn't need to be hanging around with people that were doing those things.

Ironically,

That was at the same time that I started being really involved in the drama club and theater.

I became an actual leader.

I let go of these other people who were doing things that were negatively affecting everybody,

Ourselves mainly.

Then I ended up becoming a leader of younger people who I didn't realize were looking at me.

Right.

That's interesting because a lot of times the first step in becoming a leader is standing up against something that shouldn't be happening or stepping away from something.

A lot of times we look at leaders like,

Oh,

What are they doing?

What are they involved in?

A lot of times it's about stepping away from something that's dysfunctional.

As far as your internal journey in becoming a leader,

Because we have to step away and go,

No,

This isn't good.

This doesn't jive for me.

I'm going to stand in with what does jive right with me and the direction I do want to go.

Once we're strong enough to not go with the peer pressure and stand on our own,

Then all of a sudden we become strong enough to become a leader for others.

It's because now all of a sudden you have something to offer followers.

I mean,

Anybody can follow.

That's not real profound.

But when you step away from the people that are all following and you go,

No,

I'm going to do something different,

All of a sudden it's people around look at you and go,

Oh,

Well,

What's he doing?

Well,

He seems strong.

He just went against the tide.

And that's,

Again,

If you bring that into a business situation and you make it about the followers,

What do your followers need?

What do the people below you need?

They need to feel respected.

You know,

The day in the age of looking at people,

Employees as like a robot or a tool or a piece of machinery,

I mean,

I understand we didn't think we were doing that,

But that's kind of what we're doing.

What we would do is we'd train a worker to do a specific job and we'd stick them in a desk or at a spa and have them do that job and say,

OK,

I'm going to pay you a certain amount of money and you come in here every day and you do that thing that you're trained to do.

And like it's a robot,

Like,

You know,

OK,

It comes in,

It sits and it does this and then at a certain time it goes home,

Like that's not a living,

Feeling,

Animated,

Expanding person.

That's a robot,

You know,

So where we can't that day is over where we have to actually get people involved in what they're creating.

If you're creating a business and you have you as the CEO creating and then you have some managers that are trying to create your vision because that's kind of what they do.

Managers have a little bit more freedom.

You know,

They kind of have to share or they should be sharing the vision of the CEO and trying to work towards that,

But they have they should have some creativity in them to help this occur.

But then they go down to the employees and they just go,

OK,

You do your this job,

This job,

This job,

This job and this job so we can create what we want to create.

And that mentality just doesn't work.

I mean,

How profound would it be if you had a complete organization from bottom level all the way up to top that all your employees were invested in creating your vision,

The vision that the CEO has for the company?

I mean,

It'd be so profound.

This is amazing.

This is an amazing coincidence that we're talking about this today.

I have a meeting later today where I have to talk to some partners,

Some employees,

Basically,

Who are saying to me,

You need to take the lead and tell me what we need to do to build this thing.

Right.

And my question is to you,

How do I,

As the leader of this thing,

As the CEO with a vision,

Get these people to enthusiastically partake,

Do the things that I need to do,

But also what you just said,

I want them to create themselves.

Right.

So the first thing you need to do is get them involved in the vision.

Explain the vision to them.

Get them on the same page with your vision.

Because if they're not interested in your vision,

They're not going to be invested in creating it.

So they need to understand the vision has to be very clear and they need to understand that they're all working towards it.

So that's the first thing is the vision is very important.

And then once everybody understands the vision and what you're working towards,

Then they need to be involved in the creative process.

Their input needs to be valued.

Because they're a part of a team.

They're supposed to be bringing something into this.

And a lot of times,

If people are just told what to do,

There's no creativity there.

So one,

They're not enthusiastic.

And two,

They can't express themselves to the maximum ability of their potential.

Which if you're smart,

You should be building a team where people are assets to your team.

And also them expressing themselves should be,

If you have,

Like I said,

Well I was starting to allude to this.

Let's say you have 500 people who are all on the same level as far as understanding the vision and what this company is trying to achieve.

And they're all really,

Like they have their roles and within their roles,

They're using their gifts and talents to better work towards that goal of that vision.

That's invaluable.

Like one person or 15 people can't possibly come up with all the wonderful possibilities that 500 can.

So their input needs to be valued and you will find some great ideas from them.

And then they'll feel more engaged in the building of it.

We are creators by nature.

This is what it all comes back to.

So we'll get right back down to the core.

The core is we are made in the image and likeness of our creator.

Our creator is a creator.

So we are creators.

That's like a simple basic truth.

We are creators.

So whatever we create,

We are invested in.

So we need to feel like we are creating something and we are a part of that creation.

So that's what it is,

Is getting them to understand what the vision is that they're working towards and then they'll get excited about it.

And then,

Oh,

What can we do to make this better?

Oh,

What about this?

What about this?

And if you respect and trust everybody and create an environment of respect and trust and valuing them,

Then when you look at somebody,

You don't have to take everything that somebody says because I can already hear it.

That's the first thing that people are going to say.

Well,

If I have 500 opinions,

I can't please everybody.

No,

That's not the point.

If you value them and you treat them like they're valued and you look at somebody and you go,

OK,

I need your input on this.

How can we we're heading in this direction.

How can we head in this direction the best?

And they go,

Well,

We could we could develop this.

And you go,

OK,

I see why you'd say that.

That's one way of looking at it.

I don't think it's the way that we we need to head,

Though.

So let's come up with something else like that's I like that you're thinking and I like that you're thinking out of the box.

But let's move over towards this direction a little bit.

What if I throw this piece in and how would you do that?

And then,

You know,

Get them invested in the process.

So you're not just going,

You know,

They say,

Well,

What about this?

And you go,

No,

We're not doing that.

And just dismiss them because that's what makes people disengage.

They go,

Well,

He doesn't value my opinion,

You know.

So what you need to do is just continue the dialog with them.

And even if somebody says something that isn't isn't going to work,

That's OK.

You're one step closer to what is going to work.

So continue the conversation,

You know,

And work with them and use them for their talents and their abilities.

And then once once they feel that they're putting input in.

Into the sun and they're creating something,

Then also they'll feel better about themselves,

Because that's what we do.

We we are creators.

So if we are creators and we create,

It is going to bring us joy.

And if it brings us joy,

We're going to want to do more of it.

You know,

And when you develop a workforce that that is based on that type of mentality,

When they're sitting there going,

You know what?

I don't really have anything to do.

And if I stayed here an extra half an hour.

I could get this done,

Which would probably benefit us moving towards our vision.

Well,

Screw it,

I'll just stay for an extra half hour.

You will get that extra from somebody.

But if if they are not invested in the solution and into the vision and create the creative process and you're just paying them by the hour,

That clock hits,

They're out of there.

You know,

You don't get that extra.

And that little extra is what shoots businesses to a whole nother level of success.

You know,

If you have a culture of employees that are given a little extra and a little extra,

That can shoot your productivity up by like 20 percent,

Which is gigantic.

Now,

If you're that's all really amazing advice.

Personally,

I should have a podcast.

You should have a podcast.

What if you're now those are people that you've hired.

Right.

That want to be there,

Whatever.

So so let's take it into a more personal realm.

What about parents who are trying to share a vision for what they're looking for to not necessarily always a willing participant?

Right.

And I get it.

You know,

You can fire an employee.

It really fire your son.

Right.

But it also gives you a lot more leeway.

You can make a lot more mistakes because they're not going anywhere.

So but no,

You can use it in the same type of mentality.

Get them excited about the vision.

You know,

If you're sitting there and you go to your kid and you go like,

Well,

You know,

You have to do your homework.

Why?

Well,

Because I said so.

And the teachers say so and society says so,

So you have to do your homework.

They're not going to be really excited about doing their homework.

But if you can get them excited about the vision and you can be like,

You know,

What are your dreams?

What do you what do you want to be when you grow up?

Oh,

I want to be an astronaut.

Oh,

OK.

That's wonderful.

OK.

So to be an astronaut and actually,

You know,

Even if that changes to be anything successful in life.

What you have to do is you have to get into the habit of doing your best in each situation.

That has to be your habit.

So if doing your best wherever you are is your habit,

Then when you're in school,

You'll do your best in school.

And then when you go to college,

You'll do your best in college.

And then when you go to the astronaut school,

You'll do your best there.

And then when you because like if you don't do well in high school and you can't get to college and if you don't get into college and you don't get good grades and you're not going to be getting accepted into the astronaut program.

So what you do today literally affects what you're going to do in the future.

So get in the habit of doing your best now and then you can do it.

And then all of a sudden that's that's their vision.

Be like,

OK,

Use their dreams as their vision and show them how whatever they need to do today is going to take them a step closer to what their dream is.

You know,

And then they can start creating their own dream and working towards it.

That doesn't mean you're not going to get some resistance.

I mean,

You know,

I'm a parent.

I get it.

But it's just that mentality.

If you start if you start teaching your kids with this type of thing,

You're going to have less issues if you just run around going because I said so.

No,

Because I said so just it doesn't work anymore.

Maybe it worked 100 years ago,

But it really didn't work very well in my generation.

And it sure as heck doesn't work well in any generations following it.

It just doesn't hold water anymore.

So then eventually,

Even if you can make them do whatever you want,

However you want,

Because you're mean enough.

Well,

They'll rebel against it at some point.

You know,

It's just a matter of time.

And you're going to create a kid who isn't happy because they never followed their dreams because they just did what you said all the time.

All right.

What about when it's time to.

So at some point,

It's time to change.

Yes.

So leadership dynamics change,

Right.

Over time.

Sometimes,

Like at some point,

You might have to let being a good leader is letting an employee go or letting a child,

You know,

Grow and be on its own.

So like at some point,

Once everybody's gotten your vision,

Right.

And you inspire these people to create and be a part of what your vision is.

Right.

And they've built that most of the time.

If you've done your job as a leader.

Right.

Yeah.

This this employee or this child or whatever gets to a point where they are beyond that.

Right.

So you let them go.

I mean,

That's,

You know,

That this I think.

Unconsciously,

I don't again,

We don't slow down enough to really look at things and understand how ridiculous most of the stuff that we believe in is like,

I mean,

The mentality that we're going to hire an employee and they're just going to never change for the next 40 years is absurd.

You know,

That like they are not robots,

They are humans.

They need to continue to expand,

To grow,

To enhance that.

That's just what we do as beings.

So so I mean,

That's part of it.

And,

You know,

We look at things and go like,

Oh,

My God,

Well,

What if this person climbs high in my corporation and all of a sudden they decide that they're going to leave because they've outgrown their position here?

Wonderful.

Let them go.

You know,

Support them in that.

Congratulations.

You know,

You can have a relationship,

A business relationship with that person,

Possibly for life,

If you support them in what they're doing.

And if you're if you're creating a company where you have people that are being supported and growing,

It's just a natural farm system that you're going to have somebody that's ready to take their spot or go find somebody.

I mean,

I understand that sometimes training a new employee can be costly,

But I mean,

That's part of business.

Because it's the reason I say that is because there is literally no other option that makes sense.

Like,

You know,

Like I can,

You know,

Hear somebody in business going,

Well,

You don't understand how much it costs to train a new person.

So,

Yeah,

But if you're if you have if you're supportive and with all your employees and you develop that culture and you're supporting them and they're growing and expanding and moving and working towards a unified vision and everything's wonderful and everybody's happy at their jobs.

And it's just a wonderful atmosphere to work in.

People are going to be wanting to work in that place.

People are going to be trying to bring their friends and to work there.

And it's it's just natural that there you're going to have less turnover than any other business.

Right.

So if you have less turnover than your then your training costs are less.

Now,

If you have to spend a little bit with turnover because people are outgrowing your company,

It's not it's still probably going to be less than if you were dealing with turnover as a regular on a regular basis.

Also,

If that person is outgrowing your company.

Right.

You're doing something right.

That means that you have that they have probably given to your company something that is so great.

Absolutely.

And that.

Probably that they have completed what they were.

They've enhanced your company because they've given because you can't grow without giving and expanding.

So they've expanded within your company.

And so your company is expanded.

And if that person has expanded to the point where there's I mean,

You're the CEO.

So like,

Where's the forward momentum for them?

If you're if you're not getting out of the way,

Let them go.

Absolutely.

Because you've you know,

It's almost they've given you what they had.

Right.

And then someone else is going to give you stuff that that person that you're letting go couldn't give you.

Right.

Because they maxed out.

So they have to move on.

So it's you know,

This like I said,

It's the mentality of getting all our ducks in a row and then nothing ever changing.

That's not reality.

It's not going to happen.

So so to sit there and go,

Oh,

Yeah,

But what about the turnover cost?

Absorb it.

I mean,

Like you don't have another option like nothing else makes sense.

And I know absorb it like the only person who's going to understand that is somebody who's open to what I'm already saying.

Anybody who's not open is just going to be like,

Well,

He's just being a moron,

You know,

Which I understand.

But really,

If you get down to it,

That's the only thing that makes sense.

And it makes sense because of what you just said.

It's you know,

It's it's a constant growth.

And if you have I mean,

Look at the look at the farm systems and you know,

Baseball and and football and you know,

All the different sports that I mean,

It's the Bruins are doing it right now.

They brought up some young kids from the I believe from the Providence Bruins and they're like lighting it up,

You know.

I mean,

So if you have a good farm system,

If you have good employees and they're expanding and growing and helping you push towards your vision,

The people who are down below are going to want to expand up.

And then as they get to the top,

They're going to expand up even more than once they get closer to the top,

They might have to expand and go.

Well,

Then so be it.

But that's a natural progression.

That's an you know,

There's there's a natural flow to that.

But what's the that's what it should look like,

Because the alternative is unrealistic that you're just going to get,

You know,

A bunch of people in.

Nobody's going to grow.

But you're nobody's going to grow,

Expand and and move up the ladder or leave your company.

But yeah,

You're going to have a hugely profitable company.

And also,

Who knows what that person who you were great to and allowed to grow can do outside of your company that that in turn helps your company.

Right.

You could do it because you build another company that you could be in business with.

Exactly.

A great example that I this is like a not even a guilty pleasure,

But I'm unashamedly a huge professional wrestling fan.

It's great live theater,

I think.

But The Rock is somebody who is considered like one of the greatest professional wrestlers of all time.

Right.

He had like a four year window where he was actually wrestling for the WWF.

Yeah.

He then left.

He got he he became champion.

He was on top of the world there and he outgrew it and he went to Hollywood.

Yeah,

He left.

And then he became Dwayne Johnson.

Dwayne Johnson is the biggest movie star in the world right now.

And or at least he was two years ago or something.

He's certainly one of them.

He because he left.

Right.

So he was an employee that got as big as you could possibly get in that realm.

Right.

He left.

And because he left.

It is that wrestling is now that thing that The Rock does.

That thing that The Rock did.

Yeah.

When he goes back to it,

When he does anything,

If he does some sort of a merchandise campaign for them,

You know,

If he shows up on an episode or something,

It's a huge deal because he outgrew the corporation that he was in.

Yeah.

He left.

He went on to do bigger things.

And now he can come back and he works with them.

Right.

Now we can get back to what gave him his notoriety and start.

Right.

And,

You know,

And if they crapped on him and told him how much of a moron he was when he was leaving,

He probably wouldn't go back to them because he doesn't have a good,

He wouldn't have a really good relationship with them.

You know,

So I mean,

It is,

It's natural if you just go with what makes sense naturally and what you would like and put others kind of before yourself.

You know,

I think a leader kind of has to do that.

And I don't mean it,

You know,

I'm always talking about self-love and I'm not,

I don't mean it in a martyring way where you sacrifice yourself for others benefit.

Like you don't necessarily have to sacrifice yourself because if you have a whole group of followers that are working towards your vision and you're giving them what they need,

Then you're winning too.

You know,

So,

But,

But you know,

It's,

It's the mentality of it.

So it's not about being a martyr and sacrificing yourself.

It's about not thinking about what's best for you and thinking about what's best for your employees.

Because if you understand that you go,

Well,

They're the ones that are doing everything that makes me successful.

So if I take care of them and make them feel,

You know,

Like,

Like they're,

They're being a part of the solution and creation of things and that fulfills them,

Then the better everything's going to work out for me.

Then beautiful,

You know,

Like it's,

That's why we have to look at other people's,

But to sit there and say,

You know,

Like,

Like the,

You,

You see these big companies that,

That you know,

That the CEO is making,

You know,

$250 million a year.

And their,

Their employees are broke.

Like,

You know,

These companies are failing and it's because the CEO,

What they're doing is they're getting as much for themselves as humanly possible.

And they don't give a crap about anybody below them.

And that dynamic does not work.

It's not sustainable.

It's not going,

That's why these companies are failing.

That's why they're all over the news going,

Oh my God,

Look at this stuff.

It's because there's no,

There isn't a business there.

A business like that cannot withstand a gigantic blow.

It can't withstand ups and downs of the economy because there's,

There's nobody really invested in,

In anything.

There's no,

There's no structure that's,

That's integrated that makes it strong enough to withstand anything,

You know.

But when you have all the employees heading in the same direction and really investing in the vision and excited about it,

It's,

It's huge.

You know,

Then all of a sudden you can withstand the ups and downs and,

And all that stuff because everybody's working as a team towards one common goal and they feel valued,

Which is a really nice way to go through life.

So to summarize,

Uh,

Get people excited about the vision.

Yeah.

Get them to understand it.

And if people aren't interested in your vision,

Then maybe they shouldn't be part of your team.

Right.

Go find somebody who is,

You know,

That's,

That's okay too.

It's not mean,

It's not mean spirited business.

It's just they would be better somewhere else where they can get excited about the vision.

So they feel fulfilled somewhere else because not everybody's going to feel fulfilled or excited about what I think is important.

Absolutely.

And if it's somebody that you have to be a leader of,

You don't have a choice such as a child or,

Um,

Employees that you don't get to pick,

Uh,

Make sure that they understand how it connects to what they are interested in.

Right.

What,

Uh,

So that they can find a way to use this towards their dreams,

Um,

And,

Uh,

Know when it's time to let go.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Let them,

You know,

The purpose of raising a child,

It's,

You know,

Another big thing in business is finding out your why.

Maybe we'll do a podcast on that.

But like as a parent,

You know,

And in business,

You have to understand what your why is,

What your vision is.

But as a parent,

You know,

I always thought my job as a parent was to prepare my son for a happy and useful life,

You know?

And so when he's ready to take off on his own and do his thing,

I want to have given him the tools to be able to do that.

So that's why in a lot of situations,

I don't try to protect him from situations.

What I try to do is let him experience the situations and then help him learn how to deal with it.

Because when he gets out into the world,

He's going to have people that are mean to him that are,

You know,

He's going to be thrown into a bunch of difficult situations.

And I would rather have him learn as he grows up under while he's under my roof,

How to handle difficult situations than shelter him from all them and then have him go out into the world and not know how to handle anything.

You know,

So know why you're doing what you're doing and if it's to get your children to be able to stand on their own two feet and be happy and effective adults,

If that's your why,

Then make your decisions based on that,

You know?

And that's what's going to help you.

So I think in closing,

That's really the big thing is,

You know,

You need to understand what your why is and what your vision is.

And then if you make decisions based on heading in that direction,

You're going to do well.

So that is going to do it for our business slash leadership slash stuff podcast.

Thanks for listening.

Glenn is available for life coaching sessions in person or via phone and Skype to book an appointment or for more information,

Go to Glenn Ambrose dot com.

Follow him on Facebook and Twitter or click the link in the description of this episode.

Reviews

Thanks Glenn! Great message that I really needed to hear today. Your podcasts are insightful and usually spot on. Most importantly, they always make me laugh, even (maybe especially...) at myself! Appreciate the fresh perspective 👏