Be The Person You're Becoming

After discussing change and how to implement it in your every day life, this week we take a look at how to stop and focus on being the person that you've become

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hello,

Welcome to The Sky is Falling.

You guys didn't think I'd say it,

Right?

It's the wrong show,

Man.

I did it because you guys didn't think that I'd do it.

I know that.

I had to take the shot.

Tell people what it really is.

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with Glenn Ambrose.

Thank you for the plug,

Though.

Yeah,

That's my producer's podcast,

So check that out.

And we're going to mention that it's a little chilly because it's January in Rhode Island,

So we've got a heater in the background,

So if you hear anything.

Yeah,

Sorry about that.

Our studio doesn't hold in the heat very well,

So if we turn the heater on by the end of this recording,

We're going to be shivering.

Yeah,

If I turn the heater off by the end of this recording.

I thought I said if I don't turn the heater on.

No?

All right.

Well,

If we turn the heater off by the end of this,

You won't have a podcast.

And I'm a big fan.

I'm a big fan of warmth.

Glenn likes to be comfortable.

Elias warm.

At all times.

Yes,

It's very important.

Comfortable and happy.

So today we are talking about after you start your change,

One thing that a lot of people forget to do is to allow themselves to actually be the person that they're becoming.

So that's what we're talking about.

Okay.

Let me expand on that.

Please,

Because I refuse.

So and it's something that I've even struggled with at times.

It's I'll get so caught up in doing the next right thing and making positive changes in my life that I don't allow myself to actually experience the changes I'm making.

I'm often caught up in what I'm doing.

So it's,

You know,

This is something I've gotten better at over the years,

But I still have to be conscious of.

And it's so if if I'm,

Well,

I'll use my present circumstances.

So,

You know,

I just went through put in a lot of effort to open my new place,

My new location.

So I'm in there.

And right now,

The work level is more at a manageable place as than it was in the previous couple months.

So now,

My tendency is I can keep myself busy and keep moving forward because there's plenty of things for me to do.

And I can just keep distracting myself by doing more,

Doing more,

Doing more.

But what I'm doing is trying to pull myself back,

Slow down a little bit,

Look around me really appreciate what I have.

And,

And,

You know,

The situation I'm in.

For me to have my own place to be living in the same building to with my son and have that that just the whole vision of it coming to fruition is a really big,

Wonderful thing that's happened in my life.

And if I just get focused and caught up on the next thing there is to do,

I'm going to miss,

You know,

What's enjoying what I've actually done.

You know,

And a lot of a lot of us will do that,

You know,

Just it's,

Well,

The next thing,

The next thing,

The next thing.

And that's how we keep pushing our happiness back.

You know,

We just keep looking at,

Oh,

Well,

I'll do this,

And then I'll do this.

And,

You know,

I could very easily say,

Well,

Once I get this,

This,

This,

And this done,

Then I'll kind of have less on my plate.

And it'll be easier for me to be really focused on my happiness.

And that's just me talking myself out of it.

You know,

I need to be happy now.

It's,

You know,

As things are appreciate what I've worked hard to accomplish,

You know,

So I need to actually embody the person that I worked hard to become I worked hard to,

To have my own location,

And to have this thing all set up.

I've worked hard for that.

So I need to be walking around in gratitude.

I need to be acting like a,

A business owner,

And somebody who's,

You know,

Achieving their dreams.

I need to appreciate that.

You know,

Otherwise all this,

What's all this hard work for me to just stay busy,

You know,

So that that's kind of my own personal example of what I'm talking about.

So then,

I guess what you're saying is like,

If you if you,

If you didn't stop to appreciate it,

Would you still be?

Would you still feel like the person that you were before you got all of the things?

Yeah,

Before?

Pretty much,

You know,

I'd just be doing the next thing and doing the next thing and so caught up in the doing of things that I don't stop to appreciate what I have.

And if I don't stop to appreciate what I have,

Then it wasn't really worth doing all this stuff anyway.

You know,

I can't look at,

At say,

Oh,

You know,

Boy,

It'd be great to,

You know,

Have my own place and live in the same building and just,

You know,

Have it all under one roof,

Being a single parent that would make things easier.

And,

And it's,

You know,

Like,

I can have all these events there,

And I can help people more and blah,

Blah,

Blah.

You know,

It sounds nice.

Okay,

Well,

I'm there.

So I should feel nice.

I mean,

I need to appreciate that I need to actually experience the fruits of my labor,

You know,

As opposed to just pushing my happiness back.

I think you've,

I think you've told that to me for a long time that you have to notice the victories.

Yeah,

Notice the victories and enjoy the journey.

Because that's all we have.

I mean,

There's always something else to do.

Yeah,

Always.

Yeah,

We're never going to get it all done.

We're never going to go,

Okay,

Finally,

You know,

Now,

I mean,

If you put in all the effort to build a multimillion dollar company,

Then what?

Like,

Oh,

Then you don't have to run it.

Like,

You're not under stress,

You're not under,

You know,

And it's a lot of times when you put in the effort to become,

Become successful,

We think that once we're there,

Then everything's going to be fine.

But oftentimes,

We get busier as our success increases,

You know,

And people don't expect that they just get all caught up in it.

I think that you you also made a good point in what you were saying earlier,

That now you have to think like a business owner.

Right?

You were a guy that was doing stuff that wanted this and wanted to get,

You know,

The life enhancement center open and would it be great if right,

And then you worked hard to get it.

But now that you get it,

You have to take you have to take a step back and notice,

Okay,

Now I have new circumstances,

Now I got what I wanted.

Now I have to be this new person who I was who I wanted to be,

So that I can be a business owner.

Right?

Because now it's a completely different animal.

And if you don't do that,

If you don't,

You know,

Take that mindset,

Then maybe you never fully evolve into what you wanted to be in the first place,

Because you're still in the mindset of what you were when you started.

Right?

Yeah,

Absolutely.

It's it's that,

You know,

It's the it's very similar to things that I've talked about in the past,

Which,

You know,

I always draw lines,

Because there's only so many real truths that underlie everything.

So everything enter intersects very often.

But it's you,

You have to give yourself that positive feedback.

You know,

If you're denying yourself happiness or positivity,

Because you're always working towards something else,

It's what kind of life is that,

You know,

You have to give yourself that positive feedback and go,

Okay,

You know,

Glenn,

You did it.

Wow.

That's awesome.

How's it feel?

You know,

That feels great.

You know,

If I could very easily be like,

Well,

You know,

Yeah,

I'm here.

But,

You know,

And I and sometimes I still go there.

Yeah,

I'm here.

But I still have to do that.

Yeah,

You know,

I can still be like that to some degree.

But and which touches on another very common point.

People think that having a negative thought makes them a negative person.

And it's not true.

I mean,

You know,

We have record players going on in our head over and over about all kinds of things.

And just because I have a thought goes,

Okay,

I did this.

Now,

What should I do next?

I have that thought that doesn't mean that I'm all caught up in things.

It matters what I do when I have that thought.

If I recognize that thought,

And I go,

Okay,

Well,

That's not really healthy.

I shouldn't go in that direction.

I should really appreciate where I am.

And from from there,

I can kind of move forward.

You know,

From a good place,

Move forward from a good place,

As opposed to move just constantly moving forward,

And never really knowing never really being the success that you've worked so hard to be,

You know,

So I'm just I can have a negative thought and say,

Oh,

I'm just gonna keep going.

I might keep moving forward.

But it never as long as it doesn't run my life.

You know,

So I need to just keep moving forward.

And just keep moving forward in a place of gratitude,

And an appreciation for what I've done already.

You know,

Definitely.

And how do you when when you're trying to move forward,

Or when you're trying to figure out,

You know,

Like,

Is there a time when you have to like you said,

You have to let yourself be who you are now.

Is there like a figuring out process in that?

You know what I mean?

Do you have to like,

Yeah,

It's a stepping back.

It's a stepping back and relaxing and not getting all caught up into the into the day to day and constantly moving forward.

You know,

I mean,

We are I am going to keep moving forward.

But it's got to come from a place of peace.

You know,

So so I need to sit back,

Relax,

And then see,

You know,

Then once once I'm in my state of gratitude for where I am,

And appreciation for what I've done,

Then I can look for the next thing to do.

But what people do oftentimes is they don't they beat themselves up for things like,

You know,

If it took me a minute to get to this,

I just realized,

Because I guess I've gotten really good at not doing it,

I don't beat myself up.

Like,

There is tons of things that I can be doing right now.

For my business.

And some things are done,

Some things are,

And I could really beat myself up for not having completed some of the things I could really I could definitely fall into that if I allowed myself,

But I just don't allow myself to do that.

And a lot of us do.

And that's that's the stumbling block from from the change that we're trying to implement.

And that,

You know,

The last couple episodes,

We talked about what the moment of change looks like.

And we talked about New Year's resolutions and things like that.

And as you're implementing these changes,

It's very important to to really relax into who you're becoming,

You know,

And be kind to yourself and give yourself positive feedback and not get caught up in do do do do all the time,

And just constantly doing things.

And just really allow it's almost like you're getting a new a new suit or a new,

You know,

And you just kind of got to settle in a little bit,

You know,

Tug the sleeve this way tug the sleeve that way,

Let make sure it fits kind of settle in.

Does what you just said really interested me about the suit analogy.

Sometimes when people undergo,

You know,

Some sort of a change,

Whether getting on the right path or getting a success that they wanted or whatever,

Sometimes is it appropriate?

Or is it necessary?

Like,

Sometimes people change the way they dress,

Just something like a physical reminder of like,

I'm not the same.

Yeah,

I was,

You know,

For example.

I mean,

I'm staring at a guy looking back at me with a with a well kept group beard at the moment,

Which has never been the case in any of the previous 24 episodes of this show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

The to my conscious knowledge,

The beard is not part of me becoming a new person.

Okay.

But you know,

Unconsciously,

Who knows,

You know,

Maybe I do feel a little bit differently.

And that's why I grew a beard for the first time in 20 years.

Now,

I just wanted to kind of embody something a little bit different.

It very well could be,

You know,

So it's on an unconscious level.

But but that's right.

You know,

That is that is part of it.

You know,

Mark your victories go,

You know,

If you if you envision this is this is little people think if they play tricks on themselves or play little games with these types of things that they're lying to themselves in some way.

And it's just part of the fun of it.

It's not that serious.

You know,

If you envision a business owner,

Um,

Dressing a certain way,

And you always wanted to dress like that,

And now you're a business owner,

Go buy yourself something.

Yeah,

You know,

Start dressing that way if you want to.

I mean,

And and it's,

You know,

Be embody the success that that you're becoming,

You know,

Yeah,

Start acting as if because nobody just wakes up one day in one place and then lands in another place.

You know,

It's a process.

It has happened.

Well,

It has happened.

There's a story of a Asian fellow who was many stories.

There's many stories.

I don't know how it happened of partying nights waking up in Florida to.

But that's a whole lot of sounds like a personal experience.

It may be so.

Now,

I always pictured business owners as wearing top hats and monocles.

Should I go get one?

If that's your thing?

Yes.

If that's your thing,

It's all about you.

People would look at me like I was ridiculous.

It doesn't matter.

You're a business owner.

You're doing you're following your path.

So the next time you see me,

I will have a top hat and a monocle.

I sense and one of those beards.

I like it.

I'm using it.

You can use the beard.

The rest I can't.

I can't.

I can't grow it.

No,

No.

We're still keeping our fingers crossed that you'll grow up one day.

Someday we're rooting for you,

Ben.

But the you know,

Embodying who you want to be,

It's it's another way to look at it is kind of giving yourself space to get used to your new circumstances.

You know,

The it's like I in I explain it to certain people when they're going through changes,

Especially if they're,

They're kind of on a long road and sometimes in careers or other areas of their life.

Like,

Make sure that you take up,

You take one step up,

And then there's a big platform there.

So you take one step up,

You make these positive changes.

Now,

Life tends to get busier,

More complicated as you grow as you move forward in life.

So you take a step up,

And then you give yourself a little time on that platform just to kind of relax,

Get comfortable.

There's going to be new stresses that you're going to need to deal with.

Take some time,

Learn how to deal with them.

Be kind to yourself.

Oh,

Okay,

Well,

That one kind of got under my skin and knocked me off center a little bit.

Okay.

And then so navigate around on that level and get comfortable with it.

And then when you're comfortable with it,

One of two things is going to happen.

Either you're going to feel this urge to move forward again,

Or a door is going to be presented for you to step forward again,

When you're ready.

And then you take that step forward.

And then you get up to another level.

And then you take a little time to get your bearings,

Get comfortable with where you are.

Because what tends to happen is if you know,

Sometimes we because we desire everything at once,

Sometimes the universe will deliver that the universe will deliver what we're focusing on.

So we're unemployed all of a sudden,

You know,

We get a job,

And then we get offered a promotion,

Then we get offered another promotion,

Then we get offered another promotion,

Because that's what we're focused on.

We're focused on moving ahead.

Right.

So the universe keeps giving us what we're focused on moving ahead.

But what happens is we're not taking the time we just take a promotion because it's promotion.

Yeah,

It sounds like it's a step in the right direction.

Yeah,

Well,

One half the time promotions aren't they mean half the time promotions mean the same amount of money or just barely a little bit more,

And twice the amount of responsibility.

Like,

So you might not want that.

I've turned down many promotions.

Once I got on this path,

When I was younger promotion,

Yeah,

What do I sign?

No,

What do I sign the paper?

So it's I just took it because it was what I thought I wanted,

You know,

And but to give ourselves some time to settle into where we are.

There's a less chance that we're going to get overwhelmed,

Find ourselves four levels up when we weren't even secure at level one,

You know,

And then looking around going,

Holy crap,

I can't handle everything that's going on.

So,

You know,

Give yourself that time to kind of become who you are in your journey.

And,

And part of that is appreciating it,

Patting yourself on the back.

And,

You know,

It's not a race.

It's not,

You know,

It's not a race,

We can we can take our time and keep moving at a at a pleasant pace.

And if we're giving ourselves positive feedback along the way,

Then what's going to happen is if we're if we don't give ourselves positive feedback,

Next thing you know,

We're six months in and we're looking around going,

You know not,

This is not where I expected to be.

This is not where I wanted to be.

I don't I don't think I've made enough progress.

And I should be further ahead.

It's because we're all caught up in the doing and we haven't taken the time to slow down and appreciate the journey and enjoy the journey.

You know,

And give ourselves that positive feedback along the way.

If six months in,

If you've been giving yourself the positive feedback all along,

Then six months in you go,

Okay,

Where am I?

Well,

Geez,

I thought I'd be a little bit further ahead.

Well,

Yeah,

Maybe I did think that I'd be a little further ahead.

But the fact is,

Is look at all that I've accomplished.

I did this,

I did that,

I did this,

I did that.

And the reason that it's going to come to mind is because you allowed yourself to experience it.

You know,

You paused,

You looked around,

You lived it consciously,

And it became part of your experience.

If you don't allow that to happen along the journey,

It's,

It's not going to come to the forefront of your mind,

Because you didn't really give yourself a chance to notice it.

You know,

That's,

That's,

That's really,

I think the biggest part of it,

We've danced around it in a lot of different ways.

But I think that that's the biggest part of it.

If you don't celebrate the victories along the way,

When you will hit a point where you start second guessing things,

And looking around and going,

How,

Where am I?

How are things really going?

And if you didn't celebrate the victories along the way,

Then you're not going to have anything to look back on.

You're not going to have any positive feedback.

So you're just going to be like,

Well,

This kind of sucked.

Yeah,

I just keep doing and I'm not really where I thought I should be.

So screw this,

Right?

No.

And you're not going to have the you're not going to have the like,

The landmarks in the you know,

The benchmarks looking back because you didn't create them for yourself.

Exactly.

In your mind,

You didn't,

You know,

By celebrating a victory along the way,

You go,

Oh,

That is what I did this improvement.

This is what I did that improvement.

Yeah,

Yay me.

This is how long that took.

And then,

And then if something did happen,

Or you know,

You are,

You even conquerors the word that's coming to mind,

But probably isn't an appropriate word,

But you conquer that journey.

And then you're looking towards something else.

You have a roadmap to go,

Okay,

Look,

It didn't all happen at once.

You know,

These are the types of things that,

You know,

Change happens small and yeah,

And you can it's true,

You can look,

You can look at your failures a lot more realistically like that.

Because if you look back on six months,

And you really celebrate each of the successes,

When your mind pops to a setback,

Or a failure,

You go,

Oh,

I didn't do that.

Yeah,

But I did do that.

It's going to be right there.

And it's going to offset it.

And that's going to keep you moving forward.

But if all you're recognizing,

If you live unconsciously,

And look back and don't celebrate any of the victories,

Your mind is going to go right to the negativity.

Oh,

That's all it's going to see,

You know,

So we kind of have to force this,

We have to take a moment.

And I've said this before,

It's anything you want in your life,

You need to put energy towards.

If you don't put energy towards something,

You're not going to have it in your life.

So if you want happiness in your life,

You need to put energy energy towards it.

And what that looks like is as you're walking your path to go,

Okay,

I,

I accomplished this,

I did this.

That's awesome.

That I'm so proud of myself.

That really feels good.

Boy,

I you know,

I bet you if I accomplish this,

I can accomplish other things that I want to accomplish.

Wow,

You know,

I think I'm gonna go celebrate,

I'm gonna go share this with somebody I love,

I'm gonna go,

I'm mighty,

I might mark this with an event,

You know,

Like,

Just be kind to yourself,

Celebrate the victories.

And then you look back on that.

You know,

And it's,

It's,

That's what keeps you motivated.

But if you just get caught up in the do do do,

And then all of a sudden you take stock and you go,

Oh,

I'm not,

I'm not where I want to be.

Well,

It's it's a journey,

You know,

You're never going to be there.

It's just like,

Like I was saying with my situation,

That I have plenty that I can do.

Yeah,

Plenty,

Plenty,

Plenty more than plenty that I can be doing for this business.

Absolutely.

But it's if if that's where I come from,

You know,

And you kind of alluded to it too.

If I'm sitting there and I say,

Oh,

I want my own place.

Okay,

Then now I have my own place.

Okay,

Well,

Now there's a bunch of stuff I need to do because I have my own place.

Like,

When when do I cut myself a break?

When do I when do I go?

Hey,

You did it.

You know,

You did it way to go.

Oh,

Good.

And then I become a different person.

I have to.

That's why there is not a point that I'm going to get to where I go,

Okay,

Everything's running smoothly.

Now I can bring happiness into my life.

Because there's always going to be 20,

000 things to do,

Right?

If I want to keep moving forward.

And I enjoy moving forward.

I enjoy growing.

I enjoy expanding.

Yeah,

Staying on a platform is nice.

But you do want to,

You know,

You just want to stay on it long enough to acclimate,

Right?

Get ready to move up again.

And and if you're if you're giving yourself positive feedback,

You will,

Because it feels so good to grow and to keep moving forward and to expand.

That's our natural tendency is to move forward and expand.

If you have somebody sitting in their house,

Not doing anything for a year or two years,

Then they're not happy.

They're not sitting there going,

Oh,

Thank God I was born.

This is awesome.

This has got to be my,

You know,

My lot in life.

And this is the reason that the great creator took the time to create me.

No.

Now you take somebody that's really expanding their lives and doing something with it,

And they've got that aliveness to them and they get that moving forward.

It's exciting.

It's fun,

You know,

As long as you allow it to be.

OK,

So I think that we've covered this topic a lot.

And I think that's well,

What I want to talk about for a minute at the close here is how is the place going,

The new place?

It's going really well.

And they're still is there is the was it Go Fund Me?

It wasn't IndieGo Fund Me.

How did that go?

It went well.

It's going well.

It's still up and running.

So what I'm I've got some some marketing and some signage and a few other things to go.

So so it's still running.

I'm not sure how much longer it's going to go.

Maybe ballpark,

Maybe a month.

That's still going to be available.

So you know,

A month to two months longest,

I would say.

But,

You know,

So that's still going.

So if anybody wants to donate to that,

Or share it on Facebook or by email to anybody they think might be interested,

You know,

They do get the rewards and the amount that they donate fifty dollars and over.

So,

You know,

It's a great way to to help the business help the community,

Put some good energy out into this world and get some services and in return,

You know,

Definitely.

And I think that that's the it just occurred to me because I saw that this morning and I was looking at it at the GoFundMe page and I was thinking like,

This is great for clients anyway,

Or people,

You know,

That are looking for a life coach or want to give it a try,

Want to give someone else a try,

You know,

Want to give someone a gift.

Yeah,

Exactly.

You're you know,

You're just paying for the service that you would be paying for anyway.

Right.

And you're also,

You know,

Helping out a great thing that's going to help a bunch of people.

And it's an awesome space.

It's I just watched the video again that we made and it's come such a long way.

Yeah.

The month or two since then because of because of this and because of your hard work in addition to that.

So,

Yeah,

It's it's a it's a great place and I hope people people do it.

You've had some great events there so far.

Yeah,

The events are starting.

They're picking up now that the holidays are over.

So January,

We're having more.

February will be having even more,

You know,

And and thinking about class on the four agreements,

Which is a great book that I like and plenty of workshops that you have done.

Finally read.

Yeah.

You know,

All types of workshops.

And I have also a lot of sound meditations and a lot of guests coming in doing what is not my forte to really bring good energy and help people.

So it's yeah,

It's really exciting.

It's fun.

And it's it's a great time.

And where do people contact you if they want to get in on this?

Well,

The the center is at 2076 New Snack Hill Road,

Coventry,

Rhode Island.

And you can reach me at my Facebook page,

Glenn Ambrose and Life Enhancement Services Facebook page.

And also my email is gambroes.

Les at gmail.

Com.

So you can find me in those places.

And oh,

My website too.

I just got a new website up.

Did you?

Yeah,

I think last week maybe.

It's still the same address.

But it's just I redid it for the place.

And it's life-enhancement-services.

Com.

So take a look at that.

And that gives you an idea of the new space.

I've got some pictures on there.

And it's great.

Moving forward.

Awesome.

And enjoying it as you go.

Absolutely.

I'm loving it.

All right.

We'll see you next time for the one year anniversary of this podcast.

Awesome.

All right.

Thanks,

Guys.

And we will talk to you soon.

This podcast is presented by New Shore Productions,

Executive producers Glenn Ambrose,

Benjamin Barber and David DeAngelis.

Reviews

Motivating and encouraging!! We’re making it one step at a time, thank you for releasing us from being positive 100% of that time. Did Ben ever get the monocle and top hat? 🧐 🎩 Thank you!!

Excellent ideas and thoughts... I love the idea of stopping to enjoy and celebrate the successes as we go... Thank you for being awesome, Glenn and Ben 💜x

Fantastic talk! Highly recommend to anyone!

AWESOME as usual.

I’m binge listening to his talks!

Awesome talk with funny moments in between . Thank you 🙏🏽

Amazing thank you well said.....

A good reminder to appreciate the steps we've taken on our journey.

Wow, the message on this podcast rocks, thank you!!

Great reminder of gratitude and being present ❤️thanks Glenn

Really enlightening conversation!