Are We Desensitized?

Has the what's acceptable and what isn't acceptable changed over time through desensitization? Have we slowly been conditioned to accept things and not even realize it? How does this impact our personal lives and the pursuit of happiness? All this and more on this episode of Life, Lessons, & Laughter with Glenn Ambrose.

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons & Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello!

Welcome,

Welcome,

Welcome.

So today we are going to discuss this question.

Are we desensitized?

I think this is a bigger question than we may realize because we're desensitized.

You know what I'm saying?

Part of our desensitization could be that we don't realize we're desensitized.

This is one of the many things that I enjoy about living in a different culture because there are so many little differences.

It heightens your awareness in ways and it helps you see the difference between cultures and it just makes you more aware of things that you just wouldn't be aware of any other way because you're just living your life.

A lot of the issues that we run into in life,

Personally and societally,

Are due to conditioning.

It's just this slow process of the life and the things we're exposed to from birth.

It's being conditioned to the dream of the planet.

It's just slowly we're programmed and we're conditioned by repetition over and over again and being told that this is the way things are.

It's like that Bruce Hornsby song back in the 80s or something.

It's just the way it is.

But don't you believe them.

We can't lose our ability to free think and to think outside the box and question things.

It's the foundation of our freedom.

Our freedom.

Oh,

And those of you on video,

I've got my freedom shirt on.

Freed.

Ohm.

So,

Yeah,

It's the conditioning,

The things that we're exposed to.

I see it in the people in the Dominican Republic as a general rule are happier.

That was one of the first things I noticed.

People are smiling,

Talking to you,

And genuinely are interested in getting to know you and stuff.

At first,

It's a little off-putting because we don't realize,

Because of our desensitized nature,

How much it's not like that in the US.

To walk down the street and pass somebody and not say hello is normal.

And over here,

It's less normal.

So maybe that's not the best example.

It is a good example of desensitization,

But you can still walk down the street and not have people say hello to you.

Sometimes they do,

Though.

Sometimes they don't over here.

In the US,

I found it pretty rare.

So it's looking at the ways we're desensitized and understanding that.

And to me,

This is.

.

.

I don't mean this in a panic way,

Because I don't feel that there's reason to panic.

But there's certain types of energies that I'll just say concern me more than other aspects of energy.

A lot of people are very upset with things that are going on in the political world and wars.

And just kind of everything that's more obvious,

That we see,

That's in our face.

And those types of things,

Quite honestly,

They don't concern me so much.

Because to me,

Those are symptoms of the problem.

They're not the problem.

They're just how the problem is manifesting because of issues that are deeper.

So the things that concern me are the things that are more cause-oriented that I see as causing more of the problems.

And desensitization,

Censorship,

Stripping of freedoms,

These are the things that concern me.

I don't know if that's the best word,

But I've got to communicate somehow.

So we'll just say they concern me.

I don't walk around concerned all the time,

Is my point about these things.

I think we're going to be fine.

I know I am,

Regardless.

But the things that are a little bit more bothering are those things that are a little deeper.

They're not so much a symptom.

It's why these things are happening.

And the censorship and the desensitization are some of the problems.

It's just what happens with censorship and desensitization and things like that.

The reason that we let them slide is because when they're first introduced,

They're often introduced in a way that they're trying to keep us safe.

And they're good for us.

And it's a good thing that we're having this censorship.

Everybody's going to be happier and healthier and more peaceful if we have this censorship or this desensitization.

And so it's kind of fed to us like that.

So we're at first.

So we're just like,

Oh,

Yeah,

OK.

Hey,

Man,

You know,

We live in society.

We got to you know,

We got to have some rules.

I mean,

You know,

They're just trying to bring more peace and order into the world.

That's all.

And then we kind of let it slide.

And then we get used to we get used to this stuff being in our lives.

And then a little more is rolled out and a little more is rolled out and a little more is rolled out.

And the danger of that is,

Is it affects the way we think,

You know,

And I think that this is why the desensitization is so such a problem.

And of course,

The censorship,

Too,

But I'm going to kind of steer specifically on to the desensitization.

So.

You know,

We're.

And just to preface this like what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to point out the ways that we are desensitized so we can bring awareness to it so that we can.

Try to combat it.

In our own way,

Some way,

Shape or form,

You know,

I'm not.

Some of the things that I'm going to talk to,

Usually the first thing that the ego says or the counter argument will say,

You know,

They come in and they're like,

Oh,

Like if I talk about desensitization through schooling,

Then they're going to you know,

The first egoic response is,

Well,

What are we going to get?

You think we're just going to get rid of the entire school system tomorrow?

That's ridiculous.

We can't function like that.

Our children need education.

And it's like,

No,

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm just saying that there's desensitization going on and we should be aware of that.

And maybe we should talk to our children a little and give them a more accurate view of reality instead of this desensitized view of reality that they're being spoon fed in every area of their lives.

That's all,

You know,

Like it's you know,

I had to I had to really.

Ride the line raising my own son because I had woken up spiritually and here I am,

You know,

My son.

Like I didn't have custody until he was 12.

I had no custody,

So I couldn't control what he did and what he didn't do.

So he was in the public school system and I had no say in it.

So like,

But I saw all the problems with it and I needed to find a way to explain things to him where he could like children can see through the veil a lot of times,

You know,

Like a lot of times children are like schools.

Ridiculous.

It's stupid.

And,

You know,

Like we're so desensitized.

We're so conditioned to go.

No,

You must go to school.

You must get an education.

And the only way to get your education is through the public school system.

And this is how it and it's like now there's lots of ways to get educations and it's getting more and more now and there's more and more alternative schooling.

And I just realized I said lots of different ways to get educations,

Which made me sound really ignorant,

Like I wasn't educated.

Anyway.

So,

So there's that.

My point is,

Is there there are other ways.

So I needed to learn how to teach my son what I believed is more truth based reality and different perspectives on life and still get him to understand.

I didn't want to sabotage him in his life.

Like,

If I had to think the school system is a joke,

I can't sit there and say,

Yeah,

It's a joke.

Don't even bother.

Like,

Because then what?

What's he going to do?

He's you know,

Like he's probably going to bomb at school because his parents telling him that it's stupid.

He'll probably quit as soon as he can.

Like,

You know,

That that doesn't play out well.

So I had to explain things to him in a different way.

And he's like,

Well,

You know,

Three courses stuff I'm never going to use.

I'm like,

Yeah,

You're right.

You're not.

He's like,

What?

You know,

He didn't expect me to agree with him.

And I did because that was the truth.

But I explained to him,

I said,

You know,

Whether we like it or not,

The way society is set up is that legally you need to go to school.

And there's nothing I can do about that.

So you're here.

So like what you need to do is you need to figure out a healthy way of looking at the fact that you need to go to school.

So I suggest we find,

You know,

Instead of you thinking that you need to go to school because your parents are making you or society is making you and you don't want to and it's making you and like that's the negative outlook on it.

So I showed him,

I said,

Well,

Like,

It's just the way the game is being played.

Like,

It's just it's a facade.

It's not real,

But it's the rules of the game.

Like when you're playing soccer,

There's rules.

If you kick the ball out of bounds every time you get it,

You're going to be sitting on a bench and you're not going to be able to play the game.

So that's not.

So there are rules in life that you need to play by.

And if you know you're playing by them,

Then you can have the freedom to move around in the middle.

You just got to understand the rules.

So,

You know,

The fact is,

Is you need to go to school.

So like and when you go to get a job,

They're going to look at some of your education.

So you need to have some basic skills and you need to have some sort of education to give you the freedom to do whatever you want.

So what you're doing right now is going to school doesn't matter if you use it in the future.

That's not its purpose.

It's most of what we learn.

In those first 12 years is useless,

Except the basics.

You know,

I mean,

Of course,

We need to learn how to read and write and all that stuff.

Doesn't take 12 years to learn how to do that.

And it doesn't take,

You know,

Six,

Eight hours a day.

So.

You know,

Most of it is is a waste,

In my opinion.

But.

What you're doing is you're setting yourself up so when you get older.

You can do whatever you want to do and nobody can say no to you.

Like if you don't even have a high school education and you go to get most jobs,

They're not going to hire you because they require that.

So now what kind of freedom do you have?

You don't have any.

You don't have a freedom to choose a career that you like because you don't meet the basic qualifications.

So you need to,

You know,

You need to get a certain level of education as society says is this.

And so you're using it to set yourself up for freedom in the future.

You're using school to give you the life that you want.

School isn't using you.

You're using the school,

You know.

So you flip that perspective and it's like,

Oh,

OK.

So this is this is the type of suggestion and the type of thing that I did with my son to minimize the the social conditioning.

I was like,

I knew the truth and I don't lie.

So what am I going to do to my kid?

Like,

Be like,

Oh,

School's good for you.

I don't think it is.

Especially with a little boy with ADHD.

Making him sit at a desk for six,

Eight hours a day,

I think is stupid when he's at the highest levels of his energy.

I think it's unnatural and foolish,

You know.

So I'm not going to lie about that,

But I'm going to try to show him a way of looking at it that empowers him.

That where he can use what he can drop into a place of acceptance for one and understand how this is going to benefit him in the future.

In some way,

Shape or form.

Without falling asleep to the dream of the planet.

Without going,

Yes,

School,

Good.

Me,

Not capable of school,

Bad.

Like,

No,

You're not bad because you don't like school.

You're not bad because you think sitting at a desk for six hours is foolish.

You're not wrong.

You're not mistaken.

You know,

And this is empowering because you're not telling kids are smarter than we think they are.

And we're lying to them,

In my opinion,

In a lot of ways through these societal standards.

Because we believe them.

You know,

We were conditioned.

So we don't,

Most people don't know that they're lying.

Or,

And I mean,

I guess technically they're not lying because they actually believe their own BS.

Because they were conditioned to believe it.

So this is the type of thing that we have to see.

It desensitizes our brain.

So I think that that is,

You know,

I kind of wanted to give a little prelude to how social conditioning takes place to some degree.

So we'll,

You know,

It happens on all kinds of levels.

But let's kind of bring it back.

Like I said,

I want to stay on topic and just keep bringing this back to desensitization,

Even though there's overlap with other topics.

And I need to lean on that overlap for explanation purposes.

So the desensitization,

You know,

In our society,

I think our political system is really a good example of that.

Because,

You know,

The fact is,

In a democracy,

The people have the power.

Well,

In any society,

The people have the power.

Like that's just how it is.

It's like,

You know,

A thousand people can't control a hundred million.

It just can't be done.

It's literally impossible.

Like,

So the people are in control.

It's just we're desensitized.

So,

You know,

That's something I see in the DR.

Like over the DR,

In the DR,

There's been problems just like every other country.

Right.

And I've seen this a couple of times.

Some of it's going on.

It was the last week or two.

I don't know if it's still going on because it's not anywhere near me.

I don't see it.

But there are some issues that are going on in the country.

And the people are upset with these issues.

And they will take to the streets and just start burning stuff.

Like setting fires in the streets.

Knocking trees over across roads.

Throwing rocks out into the road so people can't pass.

All this stuff.

They will shut down cities.

And in protest to push the government into doing something.

Now,

I'm not saying that's necessarily the right tactic.

But what I'm saying is I respect it.

Because these people stand up to their government and say,

Hell no.

We're not going to take it.

We're not putting up with this.

And they go do something about it.

Is it the best thing?

I don't know.

Maybe it is.

Maybe it's not.

I don't really have an opinion.

It's just what's happening.

I guess it's better than burning down their own buildings.

Like,

I don't see them doing that.

I don't see them.

That happens in riots in the United States a lot.

I don't see them burning down their own homes.

Or their own businesses.

Or anything like that.

They just take to the streets.

I think that's probably a healthier outlet.

But I respect that.

Because they're not just sitting around.

Saying.

Taking it.

If we look at some of the laws that have been passed.

Just for the benefits that the people in our government receive.

For their jobs.

It's absurd.

In my mind.

The fact that there wasn't a.

A budget passed for six years.

And the government just said.

I refuse to tell you what we're doing with your money.

Just no.

And that's just two of thousands.

Or possibly hundreds of thousands of things.

That the government has done over the years.

Little by little by little by little by little.

And nowadays.

I think one of the reasons that people in the public are getting so upset.

Is that as a general rule.

The government just really isn't hiding it anymore.

Because we don't do anything.

We bitch on social media.

And complain to one another.

And throw our fists in the air.

And then go to work.

Like yesterday.

So the government is just like.

I'm doing it.

Like yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

I know you guys don't like it.

Why are you going to complain?

You know.

Throw a fit.

Whatever.

You're not going to do anything.

So.

You've had like 10,

000 different opportunities.

To do something in the last five years alone.

And you haven't.

So.

So I'll let you complain.

And I'm just going to go do whatever the hell I want.

And trust me.

Please.

When I say this.

This is.

I am not talking about any particular person in office.

I truly believe.

Wholeheartedly.

And have seen mountains of evidence.

That this has been going on for the last 40 years.

At least.

I mean.

Don't get.

I'm sorry.

I apologize.

It's been going on since the country's been founded.

But.

I think it's upscaled in the last.

Maybe 50 or 60 years.

Where it's just completely out of control.

Like back then.

They used to tell us that.

Like.

You know.

They cared for us.

And they're on our side.

And.

The American people are everything.

And all this.

Crap.

And so they would lie to us.

And then do it.

Now.

They're not even doing that.

They're just like.

This is what we got to do.

Shut up.

So.

But this is desensitized.

This is what happens over generations.

Like.

There's a.

I'll see if I can get this right.

There's a.

There's a saying that it.

And I forgot who said it.

But.

Difficult times.

Make.

Strong people.

Easy times.

Make weak people.

I think that might be.

Like.

Some other aspects of it.

But the point is.

Is like.

When.

When you're not struggling.

To make ends meet.

And.

You know.

You.

Most people can eat.

And.

They're not overly affected negatively.

By.

You know.

They can still kind of live their lives enough.

Then.

That makes people weak.

Because they're not fighting all the time.

Now.

When you're in a difficult time.

And you're struggling to even eat.

And survive.

It makes people stronger.

Right.

So this is.

In the United States.

People don't freak out.

Or actually do anything.

To stand up to the government.

Because they're weak.

We've been living a higher quality of life.

For many,

Many years now.

And where we're just not strong socially.

As people.

You know.

The microcosm is the macrocosm.

It's made us soft.

And then now over in the DR.

The suffering level is much higher.

So they're stronger.

They'll stand up quicker.

And fight quicker.

Right.

So.

So that.

You know.

That's the mentality of it.

And we've just gotten soft.

And we've gotten desensitized.

To what's actually happening to us.

And what's going on.

Around.

What's going on in our lives.

And I think a big part of that.

Is our.

Literally our own happiness.

This is one of the things.

I want to touch on.

Specifically.

When I was thinking of this podcast.

Like.

Our standards.

For life.

Have been.

Lowered.

Dramatically.

Through desensitization.

Of our.

Of our lives.

And it's.

It's.

There's a saying that I heard in recovery.

That.

Addicts and alcoholics will.

They will lower their standards.

To meet their circumstances.

You know.

So like.

You know.

Like.

An alcoholic might be like.

Well.

I'll always be able to.

Keep a job.

And have a roof over my head.

I mean.

You know.

I might drink a little too much.

But I can always keep a roof over my head.

And have a job.

And then all of a sudden.

They lose their job.

And they're like.

And then they'll rationalize that.

They'll lower their standards.

They'll be like.

Yeah.

But it wasn't my fault that I lost my job.

So.

Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

And then they won't have a roof over their head.

And then they'll rationalize that.

They'll lower their standards.

To meet their circumstances.

And be like.

Well.

I mean.

I technically have a roof over my head.

I mean.

I know it's not mine.

And I have to move in with some friends.

But.

But I mean.

I give them some money for rent.

So.

I still have a roof over my head.

You know.

So they'll rationalize.

Their situation.

They'll lower their standards.

To meet their circumstances.

And this is how they can rationalize.

Continuing to drink.

As their life gets worse.

And worse.

And worse.

Well.

Just like.

Probably.

Almost.

Everything else.

That I found.

You know.

Like.

When I woke up.

Spiritually.

It was through recovery.

So.

I blew open in recovery.

And I was very.

Involved.

In.

Alcoholics Anonymous.

For.

Like.

Eight years.

Now.

I haven't been for.

Over.

Twelve years.

Still love it.

Just not involved in it.

So.

I kind of.

I was conditioned.

To think.

A lot of my.

Problems were.

What they call.

Isms.

There were aspects.

Of being in.

Of alcoholism.

They call it your.

Isms.

You know.

It's an aspect.

Of.

Alcoholism.

What I.

What I really was noticing.

Around that.

Eight year mark.

Was when I started.

Leaning into life coaching.

And stuff.

And working with people.

That weren't just.

Alcoholics.

And when I started.

Working with people.

That weren't just.

Alcoholics or addicts.

I started finding out.

That like.

We're all the same.

Like these.

Isms.

Aren't.

Isms.

They are the.

Mostly.

Most of those.

Isms.

I mean of course.

There are a few.

That are specific.

To alcoholics.

But as a general rule.

Most of them.

Are.

Things that.

Everybody.

Struggles with.

It's just.

When an alcoholic.

Has a difficult time.

And breaks.

Left.

They might get.

Drunk.

And.

Die in a car accident.

Or something.

Whereas.

The normal person.

Just.

Copes in other ways.

Other.

They.

Keep themselves.

Busy.

Or.

Distract themselves.

On social media.

Or watching TV.

Or relationships.

Or shopping.

Or.

They do other things.

To deal with it.

To rationalize.

And to.

Distract themselves.

From it.

So.

We all do the same.

Things.

It's just.

When.

We.

Blow.

A gasket.

Or when we can't take it anymore.

Or something.

It just looks a little different.

You know.

But.

My point is.

Is that.

Like.

If you walk around.

And you.

If you went out.

In public today.

And you.

Asked.

If you walked up to like.

A hundred people.

Or fifty people.

Or something.

And you were just like.

Oh.

Man.

I'll tell you.

My life.

I.

Just so busy all the time.

Man.

Just.

You know.

Always something to do.

Man.

I'm exhausted.

It's just.

Life ain't easy.

It's tough.

It's tough.

This adulting thing is tough.

You know.

Man.

This is hard.

Most people are going to agree with you.

You're going to hear some sort of response.

Like.

Yeah.

I hear you man.

Life ain't easy.

Yeah.

It's hard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Me too.

Yeah.

It's tough.

That.

Is.

Become.

How we bond.

With each other.

And.

Like.

I don't do that.

Right.

So.

Like.

Sometimes.

I'll just.

Like.

You know.

I see it.

I don't usually run around.

Going.

Hey.

Life's great.

Isn't it?

You know.

I don't usually do that.

But.

When people ask me how I am.

I do give them an honest response.

And it catches people off guard.

Sometimes.

Fairly often.

You know.

People like.

You know.

The cashier will be like.

How you doing?

I'm like.

I'm doing really good today.

It's a great day.

Just.

Loving it.

And they'll look at me like.

I'm kidding.

And then I'll just look at him smiling.

And then all of a sudden.

You can see the wheel turning.

Like.

No.

This dude is serious.

I think.

It's so rare.

For them to hear.

That.

Something positive.

That they literally think.

I'm kidding.

That's desensitization.

That's conditioning.

That's the type of stuff.

That we have to watch out for.

Because.

What it is.

Is.

We are so desensitized.

To our own unhappiness.

Or happiness levels.

That.

We just think.

It's acceptable.

To be unhappy.

All the time.

We think it's acceptable.

To be so busy.

That.

We think it's.

We think that that's life.

Because that's what people say.

Like.

Whenever I.

You know.

Whenever I say something.

That it doesn't have to be that way.

Or something.

Or.

To somebody.

That's.

They usually get defensive.

Like.

That's life man.

That.

That.

That's.

That's reality.

No.

That's your reality.

Reality is based on your perception.

Literally.

Based on your perception.

So.

If you think.

And you perceive life to be difficult.

Then life is difficult.

I do not perceive life to be difficult.

And most of the time it's not.

Does that mean I never have difficulties?

No.

That's not what it means.

It means that.

If I do have difficulties.

I don't feel like a victim of it.

I don't think that.

It's happening to me.

I think it's happening for me.

And then I use it to grow.

So.

If you think.

So.

It doesn't drag me down.

I use it to propel me forward.

And I don't walk around waiting for the other shoe to drop.

My life isn't one miserable thing after another.

It's basically filled with peace.

With flashes of.

Some things that I don't like.

And then flashes of some things that I'd really do like.

But it's my baseline.

Of peace.

That I'm experiencing most of the time.

And we can all live like that.

It's not.

You know.

I cultivated it.

But.

It's not because I'm special.

It's because I chose to.

Because I chose to see beyond the conditioning.

Because I chose to go like.

You know what?

This is.

I don't like how it feels.

Like I.

I don't.

Like a lot of the changes that I've done.

Over the years.

Over the last 20 plus years.

People.

You know.

People have said to me many times.

Like.

Boy Glenn.

You know.

I wish I had your faith.

Or you're so strong.

Or you're so lucky.

Or.

Some other excuse.

Why I'm different from them.

And that's why I have the life that I have.

And it's such a load of BS.

Like I was.

Came from a little town in Massachusetts.

Where.

Where three quarters of the adults in town.

The teachers.

The administration at the schools.

The police department.

The judges.

And most of the parents thought I was a piece of crap.

Like that's where I came from.

And I followed it up with 20 years of alcoholism.

So yeah.

Life has just been.

A bed of roses for me.

Like I was just born with a silver spoon in my mouth.

So it's.

I chose to change that.

I chose to change who I was.

To change who I.

The way that I looked at things.

So we can change these things.

But the first thing that we need to do is.

We have to understand.

That we are desensitized.

We have been conditioned.

What's acceptable socially.

Like sometimes people be like.

Well Glenn.

You know.

Like if you ask three quarters of people.

You know.

Three quarters of the people you ask are going to agree with me.

So don't you see that you're wrong.

And I'm like.

No.

To me that's evidence that I'm right.

If I start thinking like the collective.

That's when I.

That a red flag goes up and goes Glenn.

You better watch out.

You're starting to sound like.

The majority of people.

Because the majority of people are desensitized and conditioned.

And dysfunctional and unhappy.

And I don't want to be like them.

I don't want to see life like they do.

I don't want to function like they do.

I do not want to perceive reality the way that they perceive reality.

Because it's miserable.

This is 75% unhappiness rate.

Globally.

Globally.

75% unhappiness rate.

And there are.

In the most developed areas.

Like United States and Canada and Europe and all that stuff.

The unhappiness rate is higher than the small community and the less developed nations.

So our unhappiness rate is probably like 80% or something 85% in the United States and developed countries.

You know it's alarming the levels of antidepressants that are put out.

And people are just like well you know I have a hormone imbalance.

It's like yeah why is that?

Well I have a hormone imbalance I said.

It's like yeah I heard you but why?

Like what your body was just bored one day and just stopped producing hormones for no apparent reason?

Well I don't know they're just out of whack and I need drugs to get them back.

People need antidepressants because they're depressed.

They're depressed because there's no movement in their lives.

They're not moving forward.

They're not becoming better versions of themselves.

They're not experiencing things that make them happy or bring them joy.

That's why your body stops producing hormones.

Your body doesn't produce hormones that are induced when you experience joy and happiness.

That's because you're not experiencing joy and happiness.

And instead of going I need to bring more joy and happiness into my life.

Instead we've been desensitized and told that this is normal.

And life is supposed to be stressful and it's supposed to be hard and the fact that you're depressed and miserable is normal.

That's okay.

It's okay that you're no no it's not okay that you're unhappy and that you're miserable and that you're depressed and that you're fighting anxiety every day.

That's not normal.

This is not you weren't made like that.

God doesn't make a bunch of broken messed up people that can't function.

We are not living our lives right.

And we're desensitized to the fact that we don't have any joy or downtime in our lives.

All we do is work and distract and work and distract and work and distract.

And then we wonder why we're not happy.

Where could you show me where I could squeeze a little sliver of happiness into your life.

Oh well I get that for five days straight when I go to sit on a beach in a resort.

And get drunk on umbrella drinks for five days.

Oh so you do you do that for five to seven days a year.

And then so you spend the other 358 360 days stressed.

And then you go on vacation next year.

And you think that that's going to balance it out.

You abuse your body for 95 percent of its time throughout your life.

And you do something pleasurable that is arguably you know sitting around drinking umbrella drinks.

I mean don't get me wrong I can see how it's relaxing.

But yeah you know I think there's just so much better ways to reward ourselves for doing what we're supposed to do responsibly.

And the way we stay desensitized is we say well that's just how it is.

It's just the way it is.

Well Bruce Hornsby them don't you believe them.

Oh god I hope it's Bruce Hornsby that sings that song.

I'm pretty sure it is.

But yeah you know we have to we have to start just see the way that I gain perspective.

Is always taking a step back and creating space between me and what's happening.

You know that's just a technique that we can all use.

If you're too close to the problem or you're too close to what's desensitizing you.

You need to step away from it and create some space.

And open your mind that there's a possibility of seeing things another way.

Because a lot of people if they haven't done any self-work.

And I you know I don't usually have conversations like that this with them.

But if a conversation is started for some reason.

And I say something they're like well you think I have a choice.

You think I want to work 60 hours a week.

And I want to be this busy.

I don't want to I have to.

And then usually right then you know they're showing me with their frustration.

That they believe that and was telling me with their words that they believe that this is true.

So a lot of times people like that I just will end the conversation.

Because they don't have an open mind to hear what I'm about to say next.

They're just caught up in defending.

So no matter what I say they're going to have a comeback for it.

They're not trying to understand me or hear a new way.

So there's no sense in talking to them you know.

But hopefully you guys listening to the podcast can just open your mind.

And hear that there are other ways.

You know you don't need a $450,

000 house.

And then post on social media that you wished you lived in a simple cabin by the lake.

That's worth $125,

000.

Like have you seen that?

That's one of the things that blows my mind.

Is these people a lot of people that are working all the time.

That are always complaining about how stressful their life is and all this stuff.

Like they have these big beautiful houses.

These brand new cars that are you know high-end and all this stuff.

And their kids have the best everything and all this stuff.

And then they go on social media and they go oh I just wish I could simplify my life.

It's like who do you think is in control of your life?

The reason you have to work all these hours is to keep up with your lifestyle.

There's no other reason.

You could sell your $450,

000 house.

Buy the little cabin by the lake for $150,

000.

And pocket the rest.

You can do that.

You can simplify your life.

And then you could cut your working hours down to 40 instead of 60.

And you could actually spend time with your kids.

Well you don't understand Glenn.

It's not that easy.

No it's not that easy.

But you actually have to apply yourself.

Is it easy to work 60 hours a week?

And be so busy and not really know your family?

And have your marriage suffer?

And your kids barely know you?

Is that easy?

No it's not.

It's difficult and it sucks.

So stop with this idea that it has to be that way.

You know we've become such victims of life man.

I know I don't like using that word because it triggers people.

I'm not a victim.

Yeah you are.

You can't say it's you can't live a life that you don't like.

That your life is in your control.

It's up to you.

And then live it in a way that you don't like.

And say it's not my fault.

And then say you're not a victim.

It's not my fault literally means you're playing the victim.

That's exactly what it means.

Because not my fault implies that it's not your fault.

Right?

And if it's not your fault whose fault is it?

It must be somebody else's fault.

Life's fault.

Your boss's fault.

Society's fault.

The world's fault.

The universe's fault.

It's somebody's fault and it ain't yours.

So therefore you are a victim of them.

They're doing it to you.

That's the definition of a victim.

Right?

And I just realized that the wind is blowing the trees.

And it's like it's the light.

It's messing up the light on my face.

But I'm almost done anyway.

So well actually I am going to shut that window I think.

One second people.

Okay so hopefully that's better.

Sorry about that.

So yeah we have to take responsibility for our lives.

Stop allowing us to think that it's not our fault.

Or it's not our responsibility.

Our life is our responsibility.

That's the one thing that we have responsibility over is our life.

And how we live it is our responsibility.

And we have to become more conscious.

You know we have to think things through a little bit more.

We can't just sit around on the surface.

This is how the desensitization happens.

It's just it's little by little over time you know.

People start bonding over complaining at the water cooler 40 years ago.

You know going oof I had a rough day.

You know today's rough.

Gotta go coach my kid's baseball team after this long day.

And somebody else goes wow yeah that is a long day.

I hear you man.

You know I actually have to do the same thing.

And then they bond.

And there's this little connection.

And it feels good.

So they felt this sensation.

Our body gives us positive feedback when we do something that's good for us.

And connecting with another human being is good.

So then all of a sudden we do it again.

And we do it again.

And we notice that like bonding over negativity is a little safer.

Because we don't want people to think that we're better than them.

So if I go up to people and I go oh man you know how's your day.

Oh it's great man.

It's great.

I can't wait you know.

Like the day's almost done here at work.

And I'm psyched.

Gonna go spend some time with the kids.

And my wife's making this wonderful dinner.

And I can't wait.

Like you have that conversation 40 years ago.

And you know people like.

And then the other dude is divorced.

And they're like oh wow that sounds good.

That sounds good yeah.

Now I'm probably just gonna go head home watch some TV.

Yeah you know the kids are with the wife now.

So it's just uh pregnant.

And then all of a sudden you feel a little bit bad for him right.

And you like.

And you don't get that.

You don't get that connection.

You don't get that endorphin rush of connecting with a.

Through similarities with another person.

So you don't do that again.

So instead you bond over.

Oh do you believe that rain yesterday.

Oh my god.

Oh what a pain in the butt.

You know my backyard flooded.

Really mine too.

And then you get that high because you're bonding again right.

This is how it's transpired over decades and decades.

And it's just embedded into our culture.

And now we just talk about negativity all the time.

Anything bad we talk about because it's bonding.

And we don't have to worry about where somebody else is in their life.

You know you can always complain.

But sometimes it might be hard to celebrate.

So we'll just stick with complaining.

That's safer you know.

And the thing of it is is we think that it doesn't affect us you know.

Like how we think.

How we speak.

How we look at life.

How we interpret situations as they happen to us.

You know like you know.

People think it's normal and natural to be upset all the time now.

This is what I mean.

Our happiness.

We are as a general rule people are not happy.

They are depressed,

Anxiety-ridden,

And unhappy.

That's the norm now.

And we're instead of dealing with it.

We've become desensitized and just accepted it as normal.

So when some loose-lipped moron like me walks into your life that's actually happy.

And expresses some level of happiness.

I'm immediately met with some sort of yeah must be nice.

Yeah must be nice Glenn.

You know living up in the mountains at a DR.

You know life coach working from home must be nice.

Like it just happened to me.

Like I didn't design this.

Like I didn't work my ass off to create this life.

That when I made decisions they weren't in line with my happiness.

You know and I'll wrap up with this.

When just to give you guys an example of how I made decisions to get to where I am.

Is happiness was part of my decision-making process.

It was actually right at the top.

Money wasn't at the top.

Things weren't at the top.

Happiness was at the top.

So when I was in the gym industry right before I started my business.

You know I was I'm fairly intelligent.

Fairly capable.

So when I'm doing a job I usually do it well.

Most places that I've worked you know there are a few exceptions.

But as a general rule most places I worked really liked me as an employee.

And thought I was going to do really well there.

Whether I was planning on staying or not.

And when I was got back into personal training.

You know the owners were nice enough to offer me promotions.

Once they got to know me and saw my dependability.

Or whatever the heck they saw in me.

So they would offer me promotions to manage a club.

Or to manage a personal training department.

Or to manage an area and room for expansion.

And making more money and all this stuff.

And they knew I was a single parent.

And they knew that I was struggling to make ends meet.

And they would offer me these promotions.

And I would say no.

And they're like huh?

What do you mean no?

Like aren't you struggling to pay your bills?

Aren't you a single parent?

And I'm like yeah.

And they're like well then why wouldn't you take a promotion?

And I'm like well because the duties that I would have during my day.

To perform that job.

I don't like that.

Like I don't like what I would be doing on a day-to-day basis.

As a general rule.

And even some of the stuff that I kind of like.

I might be able to talk myself into liking a little bit for a little bit.

I don't want to do that in the future.

Like what I'm doing is I'm putting my energy.

Towards creating the life that I want in the future.

So I'm not going to take a job that requires more hours of me.

So not only am I not going to like my day-to-day activities.

But I'm also going to be trapped in that job.

Because I can't quit.

And I can't start a side business.

Because I don't have any time.

Because I'm a single parent.

So if I take that job that requires more responsibility.

Just to get a little bit more money.

I just painted myself into a corner.

I'm never going to get out.

So no,

I'm not going to take temporary promotion.

That's going to make my life better for the next year.

And then make me more miserable for the next 20 years.

No,

I would rather struggle a little bit more now.

And create something that's sustainable.

That I can live and have a happy life.

And you know most people that I explain stuff like that.

Think you know and it wasn't just them.

You know I would explain it to other people.

Most people thought I was crazy.

And then now look.

I'm living in the mountains of Dominican Republic.

Doing what I love.

So you know and I've had a pretty happy life.

I've enjoyed it a heck of a lot more.

Than if I would have taken that promotion.

You know you got to work towards this stuff.

You got to have you know you got to make decisions.

As to what type of life you're creating.

You have to be conscious of that.

And you have to let go of that desensitization.

That it's not possible.

Or that's not how life is or something like that.

Like we're at the whim of.

I don't you know that's the other funny piece.

Is like you can tell these mindsets are very surfacy.

Nobody thinks deeply.

Because if you ever ask them follow-up questions.

People don't know how to answer them.

Like well that's just how life is.

You know like you have to work jobs that you hate.

And you have to struggle.

And you know life's a pain in the butt.

And all that stuff.

And you go like well why?

It's like well it's just the way it is.

Well why is it like that?

Well I don't know it's just how it is.

It's always been like that.

It's just how it is.

Like there is no reasoning.

There's no logical line of thought.

That says oh this is why.

This is why that there's only one way to be.

And it sucks.

You know so then I can bring in my way.

And be like okay well you know.

Like why don't you make decisions like that.

Like I decided happiness was a top priority.

So I made the decisions that were in alignment with happiness.

And then my life was happy.

So why don't you do that?

It's like well it's not that easy you know.

I mean maybe you can do that.

Maybe you lucked out.

Maybe you know.

But it's not just not just anybody can just do that.

Why?

Like what why can't anybody just do that?

Well you just can't.

You just you just you people just can't just do that.

You can't just do that.

And again there's no logical line of thinking.

There's no there's no reason.

See that is a sign of desensitization.

You just accept the norm whether over time.

Whether it makes sense or whether it doesn't make sense.

Because it's just around you all the time.

And you just buy into it.

You just drink the Kool-Aid.

And you're like it's just how it is.

And as long as you sit up there you stay there.

So if we can just start seeing how desensitized and conditioned that we are by society.

And start choosing something different.

And working towards something different.

I'm not asking you to believe me just based on my story.

There's lots of people that have done this.

You know I'm not the only one.

And don't even believe it from other people's stories.

Just like if if you use your head and really put some effort into this.

You'll figure out how to do it in your way.

But you have to open up your mind a little bit to know that maybe it's possible.

And to try.

You know some people just you know try to see themselves fail.

So they can prove that it doesn't work.

You know that's not actually trying.

You can do that with anything.

You know look I can't throw a pen.

See it just fell right out of my hand.

I tried to throw it honest.

Like no.

Like no you actually have to try and follow through.

I didn't do this overnight.

You know so that's going to do it for today peeps.

Thank you for listening.

If you got any show ideas let me know.

If I can be of service reach out.

Let me know.

And I think that will do it.

Peace.