Addiction Dissected Part 2 - L,L&L

The discussion got so in-depth, we decided to make it a 2 partner! In this episode, I continue with my personal experience as well as years of working with alcoholics, addicts, family members, and loved ones affected by the disease. I also explain the "disease" aspect of alcoholism and how it affects the mind and body.

Transcript

Welcome to life lessons and laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose and we're back And we're back do you like my entrance This is it second podcast Goofed out and for those of you who care there's 164 pages in the front of the big book of alcoholics anonymous.

I had to check I had to check So this is this is my big book.

I had to put a cover on it because it's falling apart So bad like the this is all like falling apart.

So it's this was used Hardcore man,

Like I open it up and just chunks of falling out This is it it's been you know,

It's used it's supposed to be used just like your good China So If you have you a good China and in a case somewhere use it right tomorrow,

Right So So yeah,

So before I forget I was gonna start with the disease mentality So this is this is the way that I learned the disease and I believe I learned it from Joe and Charlie if anybody If anybody is interested in recovery man,

There's these guys Joe and Charlie and I heard I heard about them Or I think I just heard about them So like I asked I asked you know when my birthday came around It was like my I got sober August 1st.

My birthday is August 7th So I was like I must have really wanted to get sober because I didn't even drink on my birthday And I only had six days sobriety it was around August 1st,

I guessed I'm not exactly sure what day but But so like so my year anniversary I'm like get me Joe and Charlie CDs.

So I got this Set of CDs with Joe and Charlie used to travel around the country maybe around the world and do big book studies and They take and they go through and stuff and and they're pretty entertaining in it and it was it was really cool So I believe it was there that I learned this mentality about it But but so the way that it's explained because it was determined that alcoholism was a disease So what they said was that?

Basically the body breaks down alcohol into acetone acetone which is fingernail polish remover and everything else and your body expels everything else then it takes the Acetone and it breaks the acetone at the down at the rate of about an ounce an hour This is where they got the an ounce an hour rule.

So Basically if you're a non-alcoholic and your body is breaking down Acetone at the rate of an ounce an hour if you drink more than that Your body starts going.

Hey,

Wait a minute acetone is poison.

You have poison in your body Like I it's not good to have more poison in your body faster than I can break it down So maybe you should slow down and it you know And it so it starts giving people like they sometimes they feel a little nauseous.

They feel a little woozy and they're like,

Whoa Their body is sending signals that maybe you should slow down here,

You know,

And if you're a non-alcoholic And now don't get me wrong,

You know,

Like I grew up in a town with filled with heavy drinkers So like even there are many non-alcoholics That don't just stop there,

You know There's many people going out and gotten tore up on a regular basis and it doesn't mean that they're an alcoholic But that is you know,

So this is a basic overview So it's like just but people who really don't like never really go out and get drunk.

That's how they feel You know like my mom's like that.

She's like she'll have a drink,

You know,

And she'll be like,

Oh I'm starting to feel it I better stop and I'm like to me.

I'm like that like that's when I get going You know,

That's that's my leaping off point.

Like when I Yeah,

It's like when I start feeling it,

I'm like,

Oh,

Thank God.

I'm starting to feel it.

Okay,

It's go time Let's go,

You know like but non-alcoholics like oh,

I'm starting to feel it.

Maybe I should slow down.

So so like you know So that's a non-alcoholic What happens with an alcoholic is they don't have the enzymes of sufficient quantity or quality?

To break down the acetone at the rate of an ounce an hour So what happens is they found that if your body is not breaking down the acetone Properly and it just sits in your body.

It actually kind of does a flip-flop So instead of telling you hey,

Wait a minute,

You know,

You got poison slow down.

It does the opposite and starts Creating a physical craving for more acetone So this is why like people you know you if you're an alcoholic you have a mind obsession about Drinking,

You know,

Like if I wasn't especially if it If it gets worse and worse if I wasn't drinking I was thinking about drinking,

You know,

It's you know If I was at work and I wasn't drinking I was like I can't wait till I get out of work So I can go whack down a few beers,

You know,

So I was I had the mind obsession But there's also a physical craving Your body literally craves it.

Yeah,

So which which Increases the more alcohol you drink which increases the more alcohol you have in your system,

So like when I thought back when I learned this I thought back and I Was like,

You know what if like like I said,

I didn't make a lot of excuses for my drinking In fact,

Somebody didn't like the fact that I drank you may go Um,

So that's just how I was,

You know,

So but every once in a while you know,

I had a girlfriend that I really loved when I was young and stuff and it was like every once in a while i'd Be in a situation where i'm like i'm gonna prove that you know,

Like I don't have to drink or that I Have a drinking problem or something So I would have like one or two beers And if I had a really really good reason and I was really focused and committed to that reason I could stop drinking Yeah Now I was probably a miserable sob for the rest of the night,

But I could do it Now if I had six or eight beers in me Which that was just my beginning,

You know,

Some people drink that that like all night That was I was that was my warm-up So if I had six or eight beers in me And like I didn't care what needed to be done or how committed I was to Not staying out with my friends when I was supposed to meet my girlfriend.

There was gonna I was going to continue drinking.

Yeah once you start Once I had six or eight in me like nobody was going to stop me.

Yeah They have to be really big and carry a really big stick And they get me unconscious Because that was the only way I was stopping not taking this away from me No,

It just wasn't it just wasn't on the table it you know,

And it's it For people who aren't an addict,

You know,

It's it's kind of hard to comprehend but it just I just wasn't stopping What it was all I wanted to do and I was happy doing it.

So Good.

Thank you And whatever consequence I have to pay I'll work through that tomorrow You know,

Yeah So my girlfriend came and found me at bars a couple times yeah fairly upset Yeah But so so this is how this is how the the disease works So it's like so you you have a mind obsession as well as a physical craving And that physical craving will last As long as alcohol is in your system,

Which can be three days basically Yeah,

That's why all the detox spin dries are like three days,

You know Because you you get the alcohol out of your system so So then you no longer have the physical craving you still have the mental obsession,

But you don't have the physical craving So so it's like,

You know,

So what happens is you drink And then all of a sudden it triggers that physical craving And you drink more and then you end up in a drinking spree all night or whatever Then you feel bad which makes you want to drink again So you start over and that you know,

Like we talked about last time.

That's a cycle Yeah,

Yeah,

So so that's the disease mentality of it It's like,

You know that the way that they explained it was like,

You know It's an allergic reaction.

Basically.

I was gonna say.

Yeah,

That's how I when I Yeah,

I was always um,

That's how it was related to me like an allergy.

Yeah,

It's it's it's an allergy So like if you if you're allergic to strawberries and you eat strawberries like your skin can break out You know your eyes can puff up if you're allergic to Something else that you know that it can upset your stomach you can have diarrhea like,

You know there's physical symptoms from from allergies and The this is so hard because and I think you know what they said was this is why it took so long to figure out Alcoholics because you had a non-alcoholic whose body didn't work that way Trying to figure out why an alcoholic was doing what they were doing and they just can't because they don't function That way,

You know,

So how are you supposed to understand somebody's body and figure it out?

Yeah,

How can you figure out somebody's body is doing something that yours doesn't do?

It's not even on the table you It's in the blind spot,

You know I like you don't you don't know and the and it's the and it's the opposite is is true with an alcoholic So an alcoholic is sitting there seeing you know,

I believe alcohol is a bad thing You know,

I believe alcoholism is like 10% of the population so they're seeing you know,

90 out of 100 people drink without consequences without Being out of control of how they act or think So they're seeing other people do drink casually with no problems right But the alcoholic can't climb into a non-alcoholic's body and go.

Oh,

You guys don't feel this urge that I feel You know,

He assumes everybody feels that urge because that's what his body is doing You know so this is why it was so hard to figure out and so hard for people understand is because the Alcoholic can't understand what a non-alcoholic feels Because they don't feel it and a non-alcoholic can't understand what an alcoholic feels because they don't experience it.

Yeah,

You know Yeah But it's powerful man Yeah,

And that's what's so powerful about the program,

You know,

Because you do have like a group of like-minded people That can be yeah and you start Like I and a lot of other people I know got very excited when we found out we're alcoholics Because you think you're crazy Yeah,

You know like you can't understand why your life is falling apart You know,

Yeah another way that that I look at is alcohol is not the problem.

It's a solution Yeah,

It's just a crappy solution.

So it turns on you,

You know,

But it's a solution nonetheless You know because it's it's not the problem.

The problem is we are maladjusted to life Yeah,

You know the the problem is is we can't handle life the way it's happening and there's all kinds of fear running around and you know,

And then all of a sudden we take a drink and we're like Oh my god,

The the fear the uncomfortability is gone You know,

Like I mean I was 15 years old.

I could go talk to these You know,

So I was like a freshman I could go to parties and talk to like senior girls man effortlessly And I could be witty and fun and I had liquid courage if anybody gave me a hard time I could stand up to them,

You know as I was relaxed I didn't have that nervousness that fear of not fitting in Not being good enough.

It was all gone man That's why as soon as I drank I drank the first time I drank I drank a little too fast and I was like Whoa Like I got you ended up outside the party.

I was like,

Whoa,

Like it was a little much,

Right?

But I knew that night.

I was like in the next morning.

I woke up thinking about it I was like,

I think i'm on to something here Like I think I drank a little too fast and I didn't quite know how to handle it But if I slow it down just a little bit,

I think this might be magic Yeah,

And so I couldn't wait till the next weekend to try it again and I did I drank a little slower And I was like amazing.

I am on I was everything I always wanted to be yeah you know Or I thought I was yeah,

You know not everybody agreed But uh,

But yeah,

It was you know,

So so I was hooked so what you know What I was doing is it was it was my solution to fear.

It was my solution to inadequacy It was my solution into not being good enough not feeling good in my skin You know feeling awkward.

It was my solution to all of that Yeah getting picked on I could stand up and fight everybody.

It was like,

You know,

It just gave it It helped me at that time It served me for a while,

You know,

Yeah,

And then it The you know,

The man takes the drink and the drink takes the man or the woman,

You know,

So Yeah,

It's like anything else,

You know,

It works for you until it doesn't anymore Right and then depending on what that is sometimes it will cut you to shreds Yeah,

The consequences are very extreme You know,

It's right.

Yeah Yeah,

It's life or death.

I mean really it's like for that it is It is and it's you know,

It's it's like the you never know,

You know,

It's yeah,

I I think I don't really ask myself This anymore.

Um,

I don't think but for years,

You know,

It would pop into my head once or twice a year like why me?

You know,

Why did I get it?

Yeah,

And I you know I I don't think i'll ever have an answer to that because so many of my friends are dead now I mean I can't even I can't even count this There's probably like over a hundred people in my hometown alone that I know that are dead from this disease and then plus like all the people that I knew in florida and Like I mean and in the halls in rhode island and it's just it's countless It's how many lives you know this disease takes and of course You know,

I I talk about alcoholism because I was an alcoholic But i'm i'm talking about addiction across the board,

You know with well i'm kind of focused on the drugs Drugs and alcohol,

You know,

Um,

And that's not to minimize other Addictions.

I mean i've i've kind of been involved with people with other addictions Gambling,

You know helping them and working through stuff gambling eating addictions Those are the real deal,

You know There that maybe Maybe they don't kill people as often or as fast or whatever Um,

But because it's not such a physical thing,

You know or and and the eating of course is but but like,

Um,

You know Generally a lot of people have eating disorders That don't end up 800 pounds and dead.

Yeah,

You know A lot of the eating disorders like even if it's just constantly gaining weight or Constantly getting thin a lot of times they'll you know,

They'll It lasts longer So so so it might not kill you as quickly as drugs and alcohol But the mental and the physical aspects of it are just as dire in my opinion You know,

Yeah,

It's yeah Mentally and emotionally it's almost it's very similar.

Um,

If not the same,

You know It's just variables different and and certain variables Gonna be more consequential than others You know,

Yeah,

And and sometimes it's just a time frame And you know eating like I said,

Like,

You know,

I mean,

I I think it it probably kills less people I'm going out on a limb on that one.

Um,

But But like there's an aspect of it that basic basically a Cornerstone the foundational piece of recovery Up until this point has been abstinence Yeah,

You can't abstain from food,

Right,

You know so that that brings a different dynamic into it That makes it extremely difficult you know,

So it's Now I I also have seen you know I'm just trying to make a point where it's the real deal and it should be taken seriously And and I understand that and I hope other people do as well You know and even sex and relationships Those can tie you up man.

Wow And you know and a lot of other things it's you know We all have addiction problems.

Every one of us has addiction problems in this day and age Absolutely No television our phones whatever technology Yeah,

Absolutely We do stuff in a negative way and it's it's yeah,

It's it's a problem.

It's just some things Will kill you quicker than others,

Right?

You know,

Yeah Everything Matter time right and and and the the mental and the emotional aspects of These addictions are all very similar You know and and those vary too,

But but like yeah,

There's a lot of commonalities with them So,

Yeah,

I don't know what else um,

Yeah,

I mean I think that um,

I think that uh,

It's Focusing on the solution and not the problem Yeah,

Yeah,

And that's that's really that that was something I learned,

You know early on it was Solution not the problem solution.

Yeah,

I mean,

I think that's that's really what I learned solution not the problem solution not the problem and and it's It's beautiful This is why like,

You know,

I take people through the big book and it you know It ended up taking me six months it might even have taken me eight months once to get through that first one 64 pages because Like it's just this the big book is spiritual text man.

It's it it's as spiritual as the bible It's as spiritual As the dao de ching or the bhagavad gita.

It's it's like it's amazing and every time I would go through of course I was expanding my spirituality so i'd be like it's it's just chock full of Gems in there and i'm sitting there,

You know taking groups of people through and i'm reading something out Because I had to read every word and tell them what to do underline circle This is what this means and i'm sitting there reading something that wasn't underlined before That is like a spiritual diamond and i'm going like all right guys So underline that in the margin put this this is what this means So I kept adding to because it's just too much.

So like I'm gonna so so the people that are watching the video like i'll show some of What i'm talking about like it's just I don't know how well you can see it,

But it's just all underlined circle You know and there's certain parts where you go,

Okay Underline this and then in a margin put t f or d I thought felt or drank like that So if you thought like that you put a t if you drank like that You put a d if you felt like that you put an f a lot of times I was putting t f and d Next to these things but it's all You know all notes throughout this whole thing All spiritual just gold,

You know through the whole thing everywhere.

So I think Are you froze aubrey?

Yeah,

Because your cat hasn't moved I don't know if you can hear me,

But I think i'm okay on my end.

So i'm just gonna keep going.

We'll see.

Um No,

She popped off Okay,

Maybe she'll come back in So so yeah,

Um,

You know,

My my book is just chock full of stuff and you know and I've taken a lot of people through and i've And I had friends start taking people through And it was amazing to see to see all these people change and You know what?

Aubrey just said it it was all about focusing on a solution So like if you're in recovery or you're trying to Learn how to change your thinking then It's it,

You know focus on the solution It's like I used to go to meetings and and sometimes they'd be you know People just be talking about their problems in life and it's I found this in the rooms of You know of aa but i've also found it in life too And this is unfortunately one of the things that happens in therapy a lot.

So oh aubrey's back Sorry,

It uh kicked me off.

It's something went wrong.

I'm like,

What?

What do you mean?

I was like,

Wait a minute.

I was like is aubrey frozen Doing that thing where it was like this and I thought it was you but it was me And I was like hey like and I was making a lot and everything was working fine with my camera,

But It's okay.

Here we are.

Come back.

Here.

We are here.

We are Yeah,

I was just talking about what you said,

You know,

It's all about the solution Yeah,

And and it's just like staying focused on the solution and I go to meetings and and I you'd see the loop Like people would start talking about the problem Oh my my life this oh that oh and it turned into a group depression meeting,

You know Like so so like,

You know,

I talked to my sponsor.

He's like,

What did you he's like,

Oh you're complaining about a meeting What what did you do to change it?

Well,

Uh,

Oh Nothing.

Yeah,

So You know so and my sponsor was like he had he had about as much patience as I do He probably had less patience than I did Than I do because like I I have like I can't listen to people complain very long Yeah,

I just can't it's just like let's just you know,

I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie I just can't it's just like let's just yeah,

Whatever.

I understand you have a problem.

Let's get to the solution You know,

But that's what happens in meetings and it happens in life and it happens in therapy a lot of times What happens is people?

Whenever we do something good for ourselves,

We feel our body gives us positive feedback so when we purge how we're feeling and all this negativity out that is Is technically healthy to get it off your chest not to harbor it not to stuff it down So there is a positive aspect to that.

So when people purge all their negativity,

They feel relief but they What happens is they confuse that with actual change And it's not change because what they do is they just go back out in life They get frustrated by the same type of thing and then they go back to a meeting the next day and then they throw up All over everybody and then they feel a little bit better and they go.

Oh,

Thank you for letting me share everybody I feel so much better And then they go out and they create more crap and then they go throw up at a meeting the next day And it they'll literally do that for years and people will do that for years going talking to a therapist You know,

It's the same thing.

It's like what are you doing to change?

So change how you interact with life so you don't continue Having a problem at the end of the day,

You know To the day where you don't have to dump all this out Yeah,

Like it's not yeah You want to create a way where you're interacting with life in in a palatable way where you can actually enjoy most days You know and and then yeah,

Okay every once in a while something happens You got to maybe talk to one of your friends or somebody about it to get it off your chest cool You know,

But like my clients I do not sit there listening to my clients complain Because it's annoying like it Zaps my energy.

I don't want to sit there and listen like all I need to do.

I'm listening underneath I'm not paying attention to the to the details and that's usually what people That they get into telling their story and all the details in it And they think that they're so important because their body is giving them positive feedback For purging so they're like,

Oh no,

This must be him.

Yeah,

I can tell it feels right inside I'm getting relief.

I'm getting release.

I need to do it's like no no no no no that that's just a surfacey little Release that that you'll never get out of that loop ever You know what we need so like you I've told clients sometimes like if they really want to talk I'm like go get a therapist.

They'll sit there and listen to you and take your money Like I I'm not doing that because I find it annoying.

I just want to cut to the solution So as soon as I hear enough I interrupt my clients all the time Because as soon as I hear enough where I know what the problem is and we can get to the solution I want to spend our time doing that,

You know,

Because we only have an hour to sit down and talk So like let's make the most of that hour.

Let's get to the solution like I You know,

It's and it's funny when at first if people aren't familiar with me in the way that I work there They're just like well,

I'm supposed to tell you my problems.

Otherwise,

How are you gonna fix them?

It's like I already know what your problem is you know,

I I knew about 30 seconds after you started talking what your problem was.

So let's just get to the solution Like go call your friend or your mother and freaking talk to her if you want to purge shit That's it's not worth.

It's not worth paying me.

I don't take insurance like you're paying good money to talk to me It's not worth your money to sit here and Because that's your perspective Yeah,

Your perspective is the problem So let's hear my perspective Right,

You know so you can get a different one.

Yeah,

And the thing with purging I've noticed is when people purge like that And they're in that loop They'll kind of purge to whoever will listen.

I mean really like I've seen oh absolutely Strangers anyone anyone because it just is that and it is that release It's not it's not because they mean to be annoying or anything Like you said it really is strangers and it's not because they're not really It feels good and so they'll do it to whoever and you're like you I know that you'll do it to everyone Yes station about this.

You'd really like talk.

We're gonna talk about solutions,

You know Yeah,

Like I'd be in I'd be at work with a group of people and somebody would be purging and i'd be like I don't I guess I feel like being social kind of a part of the group today So I would just say that I would say that I would say that I'd be like being social kind of a part of the group today So I would just stand there and I would be basically tuning out most of what they're saying Because I wasn't interested And it would bring me down You know and then and they'd be like four of us in a circle or something and then all of a sudden the fifth person And come over and they'd start the freaking Conversation over they'd be like,

Oh,

Yeah Let me tell you what we're talking about You know and then and i'd be like,

Okay,

I gotta check out It's um,

Honestly,

You i'm very uh,

It's it's tough because I like to focus on facts versus stories and when you hear the stories happening,

You're just like okay like But let's get to the baseline.

This is all fluff and all these things and But like what does it mean?

Yeah,

And they're so addicted to to to the purge That that that they like if some people that aren't,

You know,

Like I said used to the way that I work There that you know that they'll be like well No This is important because they actually think it is and they have such a desire to speak it so they can get that relief Like it's that and they'll be like No,

Like so no,

This is a yeah,

But this is important.

I'll be like,

Okay,

Go ahead I'll be like,

Okay.

Go ahead.

They'd be like,

All right.

So so we went so we're at dinner like I was saying,

Right?

And so then the waitress comes over and he didn't know what he wanted to eat And I did so I went first so I got the salmon and i'm going this is exactly what i'm talking about I don't give a shit what you had for dinner.

It's literally not important No,

But i'm getting to it.

All right,

And then he had the steak and i'm like I can't do this I can't If you tell me one more fucking thing that was ordered i'm hanging up the phone If you tell me what your drink order is i'm ending the call Yeah Yeah,

It's just but that's play for a minute.

But once we get to drink orders,

We're done with this conversation.

I can't I can't If it has grenadine in it I'm gonna choke somebody People get really lost in the details Yeah,

And I used to do it Same I used to do it and i'm still a storyteller.

So sometimes I still do it to some degree and it's like But but see the difference the the reason that I allow myself to do it to some degree And I do try to hold it back when i'm in social situations more Out of respect for other people not listening to me Out of respect for other people not listening To all the details.

I do try to pull it back in those situations But I allow myself to do it in other situations like when my work situations Because my speech is my flow.

That's how I ride the energy And that's how things come out that I don't know that I are going to come out and that's how the solution comes out So it's part of how I work You know,

There's a purpose to it and telling my stories people can identify with my story and no It's not just them that's messed up and know that i've been through it too and see the solution in it also You know and I I try to lead,

You know Stay on topic to some degree But again,

It's you know,

There's there's a purpose To why I allow myself to do it What they're doing is they're just talking about the problem and I already know what the problem is.

So there's Literally no benefit to it When i'm doing it i'm bringing in the solution So there is a reason you know,

There's a benefit to it.

It has solution.

It's you know,

It's a solution detail It's not a It's not a problem detail Right.

It's coming from two different places Really?

Right.

Yeah The intention the intention is different,

You know Different and it's it's it's funny because most people don't well most quite honestly Most people don't really listen when other people talk,

You know They're just waiting for them to shut up so they can say something.

I actually listen intently And but i'm listening underneath.

I don't you know people can be like talking for five minutes and it's like And half the time if they're really off on something Like my brain like kind of disconnects and I kind of hear like charlie brown's teacher stuff I kind of hear like I almost don't even sometimes I don't even hear the words that they're saying and then all sudden they'll say something important And it and it like clarifies for me and i'm just like oh right there.

Yeah that that's that's the piece that I needed And then that's all I got.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I think that's the piece that I needed Yeah,

Yeah,

And if I if i'm feeling like sometimes I feel that there's more so i'll just i'll be like,

Okay Mental no and then And then clarity now i'll be like,

Okay,

There's the other piece.

All right,

Those are the two that I needed You know,

And then i'll be like,

Okay,

You know,

I gotta interrupt you now So and then start going into the solution Or sometimes it's just if it's what won't walk for like three minutes straight.

I'm like,

Okay,

I gotta This is just a waste of my time and it's a waste of your time Yeah,

But not they're not used to that and they're not used to people being able to listen underneath The words because i'm just i'm constantly looking for that piece like what needs to be adjusted Yeah,

Not what are they saying?

What is it pointing to that needs to be adjusted?

Oh,

It's pointing to this It's pointing to the fact that they don't feel good about themselves.

Oh,

So it's a self-esteem issue.

Okay,

Good Let's deal with the self-esteem issue,

You know And it's so so then you then I start talking about the self-esteem issue.

So it's like yeah,

But You know it wasn't But I could tell that Because they wanted the salmon and they ordered the steak because he ordered the steak Right not about the details of the steak or the salmon.

No,

But i'm sitting here going like Right.

It's very clear too.

And I think too it's it's um When your emotion isn't in it,

You know,

And you're hearing it from that outside like my when I Have conversations like that,

You know my i'm not invested emotionally in whatever they're dealing with So it's like very clear to me.

I can see like point a point b Like it's just a straight line for me and for them there's so much Emotion,

You know and you can't think with logic and emotion at the same time I think I think it what is it?

Uh,

It's very traumatic and you go into fight or flight,

You know with emotion I think it shuts off.

Um your front your frontal lobe,

I believe Um,

And you can't you actually can't think like you you just you can't Physically like you cannot separate the two because you're so overwhelmed with emotion.

You cannot think logically and I think that that's a big thing Too,

You know,

It's getting people down from that emotional level to understand logic Otherwise,

I'll just live in that story,

You know,

And that's Yeah,

And it's that's exactly and it's it's cool that science has proven this stuff at this point,

You know Because it's like we have scientific proof.

It's like,

You know,

The there's literally your your blood and your nutrients start getting derailed away from Your brain pushing into your major muscle groups so you can fight or flee and it's It's like so so you you literally are incapable of thinking properly It's uh,

Because they don't want your thinking Right.

It's um I've experienced that and I had uh a therapist actually went over that with me because I couldn't understand like when I would get into I was in kind of like a I was in a relationship and there was a lot of you know up and down,

Uh fighting that kind of stuff,

But it was so Intense that I I there were times I just like couldn't think I couldn't think and i'm like I don't understand why my brain just physically stops working like it's just you could ask me a date of something and I would just Be like what like I would have no ability to even think that So that's you know,

And when she explained that to me i'm like Thanks so much for sharing that with me.

I'm gonna go ahead and get back to you.

I'm gonna go ahead and get back to you And when she explained that to me i'm like that makes so much sense,

But it's it's helpful knowing that with other Uh people you just got to bring them down from that emotional level Yeah,

Yeah,

And it is we all And it's important to know that we all are like that.

You know,

It's like when when it's when it's my stuff You know,

Like I I have to go Talk with people sometimes still because it's my stuff.

So I have emotion around it So emotion clouds my vision just like emotion clouds.

Everybody else's vision,

You know Right.

I I mean i've i've learned Tricks and ways to work through it and cut through it and stabilize myself and all this stuff So maybe it happens to me a little less than some people but it still does happen to me.

Yeah,

You know So it's it's we're all we're all made like emotions,

You know,

Everything has a job and um Emotions job is not to think That's not it's not to figure stuff out,

You know,

That's not your logical brain Yeah,

Well what else we got to to say about uh addiction I mean,

It's Yeah solution based um,

I guess if you if there's anyone listening that's struggling with the With addiction,

What would be your first,

You know,

Like they're kind of in this hopeless state of mind Not really sure what direction to go.

What would be your first?

Direction to go what would be your advice yeah,

And it's it's I I always kind of get stuck on this one because like,

You know,

I've said this about meditation I don't believe that there is one way that works for everybody,

You know,

And I I just foundationally cannot believe that um But there are times when you have to play odds,

You know,

Or or think about variables and it's like with meditation Okay,

I can't see How you can have a peaceful life without learning to slow your mind down.

So maybe it's just different types of meditation with addiction um,

Like are there other ways to to um,

To transcend addiction because I think that that's you know,

Like I was saying before that's really the point It's to transcend it not to live with it So are there other ways?

Um I haven't experienced them,

But I uh,

I've read a lot of research on plant medicines You know ayahuasca Psilocybin mushrooms stuff like that when it's done with a shaman with a specific intention Um properly not like a party drug Um that they're having actually a lot of success with that So,

You know that is I don't have personal success with that but I I you know,

I I mean there's a shaman here You know,

My friend's a shaman that lives right down the path from me,

You know You know that yes that so so,

You know i'm surrounded by the plant medicine there's a retreat going on right now And it's all happening here this week,

You know So all kinds of cambo and all kinds of plant medicines So so and cambo is another one that has had some benefits with addiction.

So I mean there is that Um,

That's something that people can look into Um,

And there are a lot of places actually in the states that you can do stuff like that.

Um,

You know,

And of course you can come over to the dr and costa rica is famous for it,

You know Yeah,

I know someone in costa rica Different experience for everyone I guess but you know,

Yeah,

Yeah,

It's Oh,

Definitely,

You know,

Awesome It's stuff it's so that's one avenue people can look into um And there are others that i'm less familiar with.

Um,

There's one there's a buddhist path Uh in recovery that that i've heard good things about Um,

So there are other other things out there My take on it is this other than what I just said It's the the amount of people that have gotten sober through the 12-step program of Alcoholics anonymous or na,

You know ca stuff like that You know drugs and alcohol and there's this I think there's around a hundred 12-step programs now So there's one for just about everything out there Yeah,

The amount of people that and why is there so many it's because it's been working since I think 1939 Right it's and it's gotten literally hundreds of millions of people sober By far head and shoulders not even in a ballpark above everything else You know,

It was the first thing that worked.

Is it the only thing?

Nope,

But it's the first thing and It's you know I don't know it's I said,

You know to I I would probably say that about 90 percent of the people,

You know,

This is just me guessing 90 of the people that have gotten sober probably gotten so and I mean transcended their addictions fully And were actual addicts because a lot of people are Well,

Not a lot.

Some people are heavy drinkers and and think that they're alcoholics and they go No,

I was an alcoholic,

But I just stopped one day.

Yeah,

Then you weren't an alcoholic Right most likely you were not an alcoholic because you know Just because you got tore up every night for 14 years doesn't mean you're an alcoholic if you can just stop You probably weren't now.

Can people just stop?

Maybe three Out of 7.

8 billion people on the planet,

Maybe But but yeah,

So so most people that just stopped weren't actually addicts and alcoholics in my opinion so i'd probably say 90 percent of the addicts and alcoholics that have gotten sober up until this point in this time in history have done so through a 12-step program And i've worked with a lot of people just as a life coach with addictions and alcoholism and quite honestly I 99 at a time and also like people with alan on you know with family members You know with family members that are struggling with addiction and 90 percent of the time when you're dealing with addiction like this you need Constant food you need constant support It overtakes your psyche and the way you think and the way you interact so much So that you need that constant support so,

You know having somebody to talk to once a day every day You know going to a meeting Three five seven times a week depending on the person like it's just having that all the time having a structured Program that you go through boom boom boom do this That's and you're guided through that process to induce the inner psychic change.

That's necessary that um Oh,

What was that?

What was that guy?

Carl young said it was when he was dealing with roland hazard before a got started he He roland hazard was this real rich guy from rhode island that ended up going over to work with carl young Overseas because he was the biggest name out there at the time and carl young and roland hazard Goes works with carl young for I think months maybe Didn't make it back to the united states on a ship before he got tanked Before he was drinking again And he called so he calls up carl young and he's like what the heck man,

You know,

And he's like dude Like I was trying to induce a inner psychic change within you And unless that occurs,

It's very likely You know,

And I wasn't able to induce it in you.

Like what do you want me to say?

That's what the 12 steps does it induces a psychic change within you?

And my belief is that those those 12 steps were written in one sitting And I think it was in something like 15 minutes or something.

Wow That was channeled.

Yeah from divine wisdom Absolutely,

You know and so is the rest of this book.

So is all other divine,

You know,

Spiritual texts were all channeled Yeah,

You know from divine wisdom.

So so was this so I I think you know,

So in my opinion the the the the 12-step program That is literally what you know?

Walks you through to induce your psychic change your change of perspective your spiritual awakening Couple that with the with with the community of support and a constant food available to you on a daily basis I I don't know how you can replace that like It's you know,

And i've worked with alcoholics and like I can't charge Like like you can't I mean,

I believe in the principles of alcoholics anonymous And you know,

I've and I value the institution so I do not charge people As a life coach to get them sober,

But to take them through the steps because that's part of aa You know,

So I don't charge people to do that,

But I have Tried working with people and again alan on people as well as aa people addictive addiction people and people in a family trying to deal with an addict I have dealt with them and I always end up directing them towards these programs Because like to have to be able to talk to me every day.

You're gonna be paying me thousands of dollars A week,

You know Just where you can go get it for free right You know,

It's like yeah,

And and you and you have a bigger community.

It's not just me It's multiple people You know,

So I mean This is why i'm a big proponent of the program and and you know that The problem that i've seen with most people with the program is the spiritual aspect of it and or uh the the community like Some people have had bad experiences in aa or or na and oh these people and you know These guys were jerks to me or what this jerks everywhere Yeah,

You know that the most often the biggest block for people going in there is they it's When you're talking when you're fighting for your life,

It's not a good enough excuse,

You know,

And that's how I see it it's like They you know talking with an alcoholic or an addict and and like them going no.

Yeah.

Aa isn't for me Yeah,

Aa isn't for me.

I'm not saying that aa is for everybody What I am saying is that 90 of the people that say aa isn't for me The reason they're saying aa isn't for me is because they still think they're in control of their life Which is the problem in in the first place.

Yeah You know,

This is the beginning for my sponsor was he kept getting thrown out of a rehab facility His first day because he was acting like an alcoholic and an addict and an alcoholic and an addict the way that you continue Drinking for and using for a long period of time is through manipulation of circumstances and people You're you always find a way to get what you need to continue Yeah,

You find a way to rationalize it to talk other people into it to flip things around whatever you need to do And and you're most of them are really good at it So as long as an alcoholic or an addict is in control,

They're not going to get sober Yeah,

You know,

So the first thing is is to strip that power away And say you are not in control of what happens over the next three months or six months.

Yeah You just gotta get because as long as you are they're gonna keep choosing what Poor behavior because that's all they know,

You know So my my sponsor kept getting thrown out because he's like trying to well,

Let's negotiate this and they're like get out Like wait,

Wait,

Wait,

If if you throw me out i'm gonna lose my job.

They're like,

Yeah.

Yeah get out All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

I'll do it your way.

Okay,

They take him to his room Okay,

So I want to talk to you about this get out He's like well you guys stop throwing me out of this place and it's because you you think you're in control That's the problem.

You're not You know and so so when he came to me he was like He was like is there any area of your life that is not f-ed up like no,

I think I got it all It's like anything is it anything that isn't f-ed up?

Like no Did you try to f it up?

No,

Did you try to do well?

Yes Okay,

Would it be fair to say that your best thinking?

That your best thinking F-ed up your entire life.

Yes,

Would it be fair to say that your best thinking sucks?

Yes I had to say yes That's a fair statement my best thinking sucked Because I did the best I could and everything in my life was messed up My son was 1400 miles away.

My body was literally shutting down after being a personal trainer.

My organs were shutting down I was homeless No car,

No house.

I used to rollerblade to the package store to pick up beer But yeah,

Like my organs were shutting down like I was literally dying So so it's like,

You know,

That's what my best best thinking got me So I had to understand that and what that did is I understood that I was a blank slate and he said just Just do what I say for three months.

Give me three months of your life Do everything that I say live my way depend on my thinking Do you think my life's going better than yours?

Yep,

Okay,

Then depend on my thinking for three months.

What do you get to lose your life sucks?

Anyway Right.

So try it and if it doesn't work,

I'll gladly refund your misery.

Yeah I love that.

Yeah,

You can take it back.

I realized I was like,

Yeah,

I don't have anything to lose like what what am I holding?

Because we think you know,

I was like,

Oh no,

I can't allow somebody else to control my life Yeah Why?

Right,

You know why because it might get better.

It can't get worse Yeah But that created a Yeah I will it Yeah,

How willing are you to make it better?

Right,

And it just I didn't that was great for me because I didn't trust my thinking and I shouldn't trust my thinking back then I shouldn't have it destroyed my life Yeah,

You know so I trusted somebody else and I did things even though I knew 110 they were wrong and they were gonna fail But I did him anyway and half the time I did him to prove to my sponsor that he was wrong And every time they worked out and it blew my mind.

I was sitting here going.

Are you flipping kidding me?

I cannot believe that worked.

I knew that was gonna fail Wow And I was just like My mind was blown Yeah,

So then I you know,

So I I did I I checked with him on everything and then I started Like when I check with them,

I started actually getting it right more consistently So that's my little by little took me about a year to start trusting my thinking maybe a year and a half Until I really trusted my thinking Wow,

You know and I would still check things,

You know big things just to make sure I didn't screw them up Maintenance after that.

Yeah maintenance.

Yeah,

So So yeah,

So that that's I think you know become that blank slate Become that blank slate.

This is why when people tell me oh the program isn't for me 90 percent of the time like sometimes it's not but 90 percent of the time.

It's just i'm trying to stay in control How do you know what's right for you?

And like right?

You just you're destroying your whole life.

You you You can't function but you know what's right for you Wow Yeah,

Doesn't work so Yeah,

So that's my that that's kind of my take,

You know,

It's it's Love it.

It's not for everybody,

But I think it is for most and more people than they think it's direction some kind of direction Yeah,

Just when yeah All right.

Well,

We gotta wrap it up before this hour hits.

So I think we are Yeah.

All right,

Cool.

So i'm gonna uh I'm gonna wrap it up.

Thank you everybody for listening.

Thank you.

Aubrey.

Thank you.

Thanks everyone.

Um,

Yeah,

We'll um Reach out if you need some help looking for more check out over 200 episodes of life lessons and laughter Or click the link in the description of this episode to connect with glenn directly