Shattering Your Limiting Beliefs

If you have spent any time working toward personal growth or have read any personal development books you have likely heard the term “limiting beliefs.” While the conversation around limiting beliefs seems to be the “it” topic right now, many do not go deep enough into these psychological defense mechanisms to explain what they are, let alone where they come from. We’re taking a deep dive into how limiting beliefs negatively impact your life, how we trick our brains into believing our limits are keeping us safe, and I’ll walk you step-by-step into identifying your limiting beliefs, and most importantly how to shatter them and ultimately eradicate them from your life!

Transcript

Are you ready to jump in and shatter all of the limiting beliefs you have owned and may not have even realized were a part of your thinking?

I am and I swear I just heard an overwhelming hell yes from across the world.

Let's start with a question that has a series of statements behind it.

It's a big one,

So keep your ears open if you would.

All right,

Have you ever thought to yourself or said aloud any of these sentences or some variation of something similar?

Are you ready?

I am NOT good enough.

There is something wrong with me.

I am a failure.

I'm worthless.

Nothing in my life ever works out.

I'm not lovable.

I'm never going to find the love of my life,

The perfect job.

I'm never going to be able to afford the house or that car.

You fill in the blanks.

Right?

If you've ever had similar thoughts or have said any of those words or statements,

You are not alone.

I promise you,

You are not.

We have all said something similar.

We've said those exact words.

You know,

These simple seemingly harmless statements or lines of thoughts are self-limiting beliefs in action.

Right?

They are the speak of what limiting beliefs sound like and they can have a massive negative impact on your life.

Now,

If you are shrugging your shoulders or questioning how any of those senses can be all that bad,

I need you to know that our concept of reality is created by the brain.

We're gonna get really brainy today.

We're gonna talk about the way that these limiting beliefs come to be and how we really use those statements against ourselves in our day-to-day life.

And we may not even realize that we're doing it.

And I'm gonna give you some steps and some ways to bust this process up and really shatter those limiting beliefs,

Those sentences like,

I am a failure.

I'm not good enough.

Nothing's going to ever work out for me.

And begin to own your life in a way that maybe you haven't even realized yet is even possible.

I know that's a big,

Huge promise,

But I've done it with so many women and I know that you have the capability of doing it too.

So if you're with me,

Let's do it together.

What do you say?

All right.

So about that braininess.

Your brain's function is to act as a gatekeeper for all of the information that's incoming into its perspective.

The brain filters through the details and allows any essential data to pass through into your conscious thoughts.

You know,

Those are the conscious thoughts that are happening right now.

The active thoughts that are happening at any given moment.

All of this is occurring while the brain seeks patterns,

Right?

It's looking for information,

The actions,

The feelings that may be similar to a past experience.

There's so much data coming in and the brain is both working subconsciously and consciously while looking for danger and trying to do what it can to help us understand and place meaning on what's happening around us.

That's a big task for the brain,

Right?

So much going on all at one time.

If you've listened to other episodes of the Get Your Life Together Girl podcast or you've watched the Get Your Life Together Girl Instagram page,

You'll hear me often talk about the brain and us being meaning making machines.

Meaning we are the ones who place value on our thoughts and our experiences.

Yet how we place the value comes from a multitude of things.

Think about what's happening in the brain.

And now we have to place value on what's happening around us.

So how does the brain know what information to allow in and what to filter out?

And if you're questioning how this has anything to do with limiting beliefs,

Trust me,

We're getting there.

So the brain knows based on the pattern of thought,

Action and feeling that we've wired into place through our habits,

Right?

So we place value on what's going on around us based on what has happened before by the habit of thought,

By the perception that we carry.

The brain knows what we tell ourselves on a constant basis.

It understands our habitual feelings.

It also knows what we believe,

What we experience intensely,

What we give our attention to,

What we think is wrong or right.

There's so much happening again all at once.

And yet the brain has no filter in which to know if the information coming in is good or bad.

That's on our emotional body because everything that comes in is neutral.

We don't have any connection to it in its first beginning stages.

Think about this.

This is the example I often give to the women that I work with,

You know,

A simple thought,

I am hungry.

So as that comes into the body,

Into our awareness,

It's just a statement.

I am hungry.

But then maybe the emotional body gets involved.

And oh,

My gosh,

I haven't eaten all day.

I am starving.

Right.

And we begin to have a rise.

And that starving becomes a bad thing,

Because now I know that I may actually go and eat all the things and not have as much control.

So as that thought came in,

There was no connection to it.

But the moment that I put meaning to it,

It has a value and therefore drives my emotional body and drives my action.

And it's here where self-limiting beliefs come into place and into play.

Let me give you an example,

Right,

Before I give you our working definition.

So let's say you repeatedly tell yourself,

You are not good enough.

I am not good enough.

This is a very common limiting belief.

In saying these words to yourself,

You have placed meaning around your worth value,

Right?

You've told yourself,

I am not good enough and that's the value I place on myself.

If you feel those words intensely,

Which we often do,

You know,

There's a chance that the brain is going to pay attention.

We anchor those thoughts,

Right?

So the thought came in,

There was neutrality to it.

Now we have the emotional body.

And anchoring really means that we are locking them into place.

We're creating that habit,

That habitual thought that the brain is going to look for later on.

And we do this through our emotional reaction.

The stronger we feel something,

The greater likelihood we're going to remember that thought,

That moment,

That feeling.

And the brain hears you and says,

All right,

You're not good enough.

And then the brain starts sorting through all of the information that comes in,

Looking for validation,

Looking for a way to either validate or release that thought.

And,

You know,

At that time,

As it's looking for a pattern,

A memory may come forward that's quote,

You know,

Proof of your failure,

Deficiency,

Or even your lack of worth.

And you've locked in whatever belief you've told yourself.

And so now here's the proof.

You're right.

You're not good enough.

And in your mind,

There's tangible evidence.

In that moment,

You're setting yourself up for a self-limiting belief that can powerfully impact so many areas of your life.

That's why I talk about the thoughts being so important to pay attention to.

And that's why I said beliefs can have a negative impact on your life,

A long lasting major impact.

If that's not bad enough,

The longer you feed this inner conversation,

The stronger it gets.

But what's important to know is that all it takes is one time,

One emotional connection for you to believe something that you feed to yourself.

What's even crazier is once we believe,

We begin this process of really filtering everything through,

I'm not good enough.

It's hard to break.

That's a bit scary,

Isn't it?

I could go on for days about the more,

You know,

Finite details about what's,

You know,

Really occurring in that moment.

But let's get into the definition of limiting beliefs,

Because I think now you have a baseline understanding of what's happening in the mind.

A lot of times we say these things and we think that they're harmless.

But if we're locking them in,

We have a big emotional reaction.

That harmless statement becomes harmful.

Here's the big aha moment.

And I just said it,

You know,

Or touched on it just a moment ago that your brain really does work to keep you safe.

And here's that big aha.

Your brain never wants you to ever unlearn something that it has registered as a safety mechanism.

If you tell yourself you're not good enough and that will keep you from,

Say,

Heartache or pain or danger or any other negative scenario,

The brain wants you to deeply encode that into your being.

Right?

Because it doesn't want you to feel negative pain.

It doesn't want you to feel anything that doesn't serve you.

So that's the big aha.

You know,

Once you set these in place again,

Like I just said,

It's hard to undo them,

But it is not impossible.

And that's the most important thing to know right now.

It may take a moment.

It may be hard as hell,

But I promise you that it can be done.

And it's actually easier to do it once you know the steps.

So beyond the statement,

You know,

If I'm not good enough or whatever your limiting belief is,

What does it actually mean?

What is the definition?

It's a thought,

Opinion,

State of mind or conviction you believe to be absolute truth.

But this belief holds you back in some way.

This is essentially a story that you're telling yourself.

Again,

If you've listened to the podcast or you've heard me speak,

You know now that I call the brain or the mind,

The storyteller.

Because it tells stories.

It looks for patterns and creates this movement of things that may not absolutely be true.

So a limiting belief can go beyond yourself and out into the world about,

You know,

The way that you look at life or the way that you see others.

And it tells the story.

It limits you in some way.

While these thoughts were once conscious thoughts,

After enough repetition,

They become subconscious.

Again,

That's that lock-in pattern that we were just talking about.

It's here that they become the mental filter in which we see the world.

Think about it.

Whatever limiting statement that you tell yourself all the time,

It is how you see everything.

I'm not good enough.

I'm not good enough for that friend.

I'm not good enough for that job.

I'm not good enough for this moment.

I'm not good enough to do that,

To have that.

It is how you see everything.

I truly believe that the brain sees these beliefs as defense mechanisms.

Like I just said,

You know,

Sociological coping skills and strategies,

Again,

To protect you.

And really what happens over time is this can shape your personality.

It can influence your behavior and it can cause you to stay in that little thing that we call the comfort zone.

While we develop a,

That's too risky attitude and we hold ourselves on the sidelines of our lives.

We keep ourselves from actions.

It's a huge thing.

One statement.

Think about this.

One thought,

One statement.

It can ultimately really bring in a lack of trust,

Inadequacy,

Lack,

And really it can take away all of the beautiful things that you have going for you because you're too focused on all of the,

I can't and I won't,

And I don't know hows.

Don't we all know that one person who always complains,

Who never has a good day,

Who never takes chances,

Who never,

You know,

Has anything go in their favor?

I know,

I know more than one person like that,

But what's important to think about right now is can you imagine the limiting beliefs that they have rolling around in their mind on a daily basis?

Think about what must be going on in order for them to see everything through this lens of negativity.

Right?

Their brain has pretty much done them dirty.

Don't you think?

We can even go a step further if you want.

I promise you I won't continue on,

But just for a moment,

Think about this.

Your limiting beliefs actually have a way of driving anxiety and fear.

It's going to help you double down on the dissatisfaction of your life.

They keep you striving for and reaching for something,

But in the same way,

Keep you small because the comfort zone is much,

You know,

Much more desirable.

And going after new opportunities is really a joke because the limits in your mind are more like walls that are so high that you can't figure out how to get over them.

All of those are negative impacts,

Right?

Who wants anxiety?

Who wants unreasonable amounts of stress,

Especially when it's self-driven?

You know,

It's here that most women that I've worked with need that paper brown bag that we talk about all the time because they keep asking themselves this one question.

And it is,

Am I the problem?

Am I the reason why my life is the way that it is?

Am I the one who keeps holding me back?

Is it me?

And the answer is yes and no.

Yes,

Because you're the only one who can drive your life and think the thoughts that you think.

And no,

Because you know where the limits come from to begin with.

And so that's really where we want to dive into now is that some of this is our responsibility and some of it isn't.

And yet it is our responsibility to shatter them and change our life.

So most of your limiting beliefs can be traced back to your childhood.

As we talk,

As we get into the root of this,

You're probably going to discover that so many of these beliefs have been going on for such a long time.

And they are really an essential part of your identity.

The reason why is we can inherit biases from those around us.

We get these limiting beliefs from trauma,

Negative experiences,

From family,

Education,

Whether that's school or religious organization or from our mentors.

I want you to think about it.

Parents and our caretakers,

Along with our teachers,

No matter what they're teaching,

Are really our first role models.

These are the people who teach us right from wrong.

They instill their values and morals into us,

Societal norms and values and expectations,

And we unquestionably listen and follow suit.

But here's the thing.

If your mother struggled with body issues,

She may have passed down to you that a certain weight was the only weight that can be considered healthy and fit.

This sets the stage for a limiting belief around weight and what your body should look like.

This is one of the top learned beliefs that a lot of people have,

And it has so many consequences.

If your father struggled with emotions,

He may have taught you that expressing your feelings is bad,

And therefore you should not be emotional.

Stop crying.

We don't cry.

Do not have an emotional reaction.

You may then develop a belief that emotion should be avoided at all cost,

And crying is bad no matter the reason.

Think about what happens then.

This can hinder you from creating solid,

Emotionally sound relationships in your life or having the correct emotional response in any given situation.

Emotions aren't bad,

But if that's what you're taught,

That could be your limiting belief.

If you struggled in school,

You may have heard that you're not capable or smart enough,

And that may later set you up to believe that you're not worthy of the promotion or going after the dream job you've always desired.

These are just a few examples that create big movements in our life,

Like we were talking about earlier.

The deal is that we trust what we are taught until we know better.

And as we grow,

We are then introduced into various social rules,

Expectations,

And obligations that are filtered through our mindset.

And at the same time,

We begin to adopt our own self-perceptions.

And in this process,

We begin to internalize feelings of inadequacy and our worthiness.

As I mentioned before,

Your past experiences and traumas are another source of limiting beliefs.

An example of this would be,

Say,

You find it difficult to trust someone new because you've been hurt by an ex-partner or someone close to you.

You may have placed a belief within your mindset that you can't easily trust others.

And then that limiting belief will then bleed into every new person that you experience.

There are thousands of examples I could hand over to you right now.

And yet I feel like you have a feeling of what these things can do for us and how they are developed.

And the deal is,

We all have them.

We all experience limiting beliefs.

And,

You know,

There is somebody out there that says,

I don't really have them right now.

Right.

Even though we've given you lots of examples.

And I just want to give you a few sentences that you can really begin to identify what those sound like in your head.

And so they start with,

I can't.

I can't because I don't have time.

I don't know how.

I don't think I can.

I need to change before I do this or that.

I failed.

I will be judged.

I'm stupid.

I don't have enough time.

I don't have enough money.

I don't have enough this or that.

I'm not good enough.

It's not possible for me.

And lastly,

This is a big one.

It's too late.

With that,

Let's move into a step-by-step way of really getting to the heart of any limiting belief that you hold.

And then we'll get into how we can overcome them in order to really get our lives together and fully live a limitless life.

Is that possible?

Absolutely.

It is.

I promise you.

You know,

The easiest way to identify your limiting beliefs is to be honest with yourself,

To do an honest self-assessment.

I said honest,

Right?

Honest in a way that you're willing to open up and see yourself,

Your thought patterns,

And anything that may come up,

Even if it feels stupid,

Nasty,

Or has you questioning why you've held on to something for so long.

In order to engage in this process,

You're going to need a little bit of space,

Some quiet,

And a pen and a paper.

Right?

In order to do this,

You're going to want to answer the following questions,

And I'm going to explain why we're doing the work that we're doing.

So beyond just the questions.

If you were in session with me,

I would just ask you the questions and guide you through the process because I know where we're going.

But if you're going to do this work alone,

Then you need to know why.

Now,

As you answer each question,

It's likely that you will uncover multiple limiting beliefs.

Did you hear me?

It is likely that you are going to discover multiple things in your thought process.

And regardless of how fast you want to move through this process,

I need you to go through each belief separately.

So it's going to take some time.

This is work that cannot be rushed.

It cannot be hurried through.

It has to be done mindfully,

Thoughtfully,

And thoroughly to understand what is going on.

And understand this,

That once you recognize your own self-induced limits,

You can use that information to reframe how you think about your life and yourself.

In the end,

That alone helps you build self-trust and self-confidence.

And it is an overwhelmingly important step in self-love.

So let's go to those questions.

Right.

So the first question is,

In what area of your life are you afraid or anxious to act on?

So ask yourself that.

In what area of my life am I afraid or anxious to act on?

I want you to write down whatever comes up and then follow it up with why.

Why am I afraid?

Why am I anxious?

Here,

What you're doing is you're getting down to the root of the belief.

Next,

Ask yourself and write down,

What are the areas I wish were different or need improvement?

Here,

We are targeting how these beliefs impact our day-to-day lives.

The next question is,

Where do I want to be in each of these areas of my life?

So this question is really helping us see how far we have to get to our end goal.

And it also helps us level,

You know,

Or create the level of distance that we've put between ourselves and this belief.

So what is this belief doing to us again on that day-to-day?

And the last question is probably one of the most important,

And that is,

Where did this limit start?

So if you've listened to other podcasts,

You've often heard me say,

Think about the memory and listen to whose voice is speaking.

Is it yours or is it someone else's?

This is an important step in this eradication of self-limiting beliefs.

These are really simple questions,

But they will help you see how you need to move these pieces and how you've remained stagnant or out of alignment or in places where you're not fully showing up on the surface level,

Even though you're saying that you want something different.

What do I mean by that?

It's here that I often hear women say,

You know,

I want to be in a really great relationship.

Yet in the very next breath,

In the next sentence,

They will tell me how awful their last relationship was and that they don't believe they will ever fall in love because nothing has worked out up until that point.

So the desire is to have a relationship and the limiting belief is the perceived reason why they can't have that relationship and it's because nothing has worked out up until that point.

Another example would be,

Say,

That you want to start a business,

But you haven't taken action to get started.

The reason holding you back could be the perceived lack of time or money or thinking that you don't know how to do this.

However,

These excuses are really just limiting beliefs with no real basis.

Once you break these beliefs,

Remove the mental blocks which stop you from working on your goal or having the relationship or feeling comfortable in your own skin,

Owning your life,

Or whatever it may be,

Well,

Things change.

When we move through these questions and begin to see the limiting belief itself,

We are only then capable and have the power to create something new for ourselves.

As you move through this process,

I encourage you to carry a journal,

A notebook,

Or even a legal pad with you throughout your day.

Make a note each time you have a negative thought or a belief about yourself or your life.

Remember,

Those sitting start with negative implications.

So I can't,

I don't know how,

All of those.

Once you begin to recognize how many limiting thoughts and beliefs are within your daily thought process,

You can begin to shatter them just as quickly.

With that,

Let's overcome the beliefs that you've uncovered,

Right?

Shall we?

All right.

This is the hardest work,

Overwhelming hard work at times,

But it can absolutely be done.

And overcoming a limiting belief is really,

Again,

Something that the brain doesn't want you to do.

So stay with this.

When we look at undoing thought patterns or really removing anything,

We want to approach it in two different stages.

The first is on the surface level and then the deepest work is step two,

Stage two.

The first stage you can absolutely do on your own.

The second,

Honestly,

Some people are able to do it on their own,

But others are best served with a coach or a therapist or a trained professional.

So if you're finding lots of deep limiting beliefs,

Or you're having trouble moving through this process,

Reach out to someone to get some help.

So let's first start on that surface level.

Again,

We are working with just one limiting belief,

One piece at a time.

Remember too,

Your beliefs are practice.

So if you spent years telling yourself a certain negative conversation,

It's not going to be undone overnight.

So let go of that expectation.

Okay?

However,

If you are consistent and you keep your mind open,

These steps will help you dismantle your limiting beliefs and allow you to adopt empowering ones instead.

So step one,

Taking one belief,

Begin to look for evidence that challenges the belief.

Perhaps the belief is that you will never lose weight and this is the body that you are unhappily stuck in.

When we begin to look for evidence that contradicts this thought,

Maybe we'll ask ourselves,

Have I ever lost weight before?

You know,

The answer is likely yes.

And then you can go down the line of thought seeking for more evidence.

You know,

When I lost weight,

Did my body change?

Of course it did.

Did that make me feel better?

Absolutely.

Did I feel unstuck?

Yes.

You can see how you go down this line of thought and chances are more times than not,

You're going to find that you have been able to achieve the opposite of the limiting belief that you have told yourself.

From there,

We want to look at what it would take to achieve that opposite belief and can you really look at it beyond,

You know,

Perhaps luck?

Right?

So many people will say that.

But I want you to look at what were the contributing factors.

Once we begin to question,

We give ourselves the opportunity to transform.

Step two,

We want to experiment with the behavior.

Looking for counter evidence may serve as motivation to get started in shattering the limiting beliefs and,

You know,

Maybe move us into action,

But it's not enough to keep the limit out of our mindset.

Instead,

We have to behave,

So act,

In direct contradiction to the limiting belief.

So for that person seeking weight loss,

They would say need to tailor their food intake to best serve their goal.

They would need to set up a workout plan so that they could get started in the physical activity of the goal.

You see,

Act accordingly to what best serves you.

Acting in direct contradiction to the belief weakens it and it creates the new pattern.

This is how patterns are formed,

Right?

The habit of it.

Step three,

We want to reinforce positive beliefs.

For example,

A positive belief would say,

Be,

I do have the power to change my body.

To change an unproductive thought pattern,

You have to be able to witness it coming in and flip it into something that works for you.

So perhaps as you weigh yourself,

Maybe you feel upset because you only lost one or two pounds and that limiting belief comes right back in.

Here,

We would flip it and use maybe an affirmation or a mantra such as,

I am capable of changing my body to best impact my health.

That would then reinforce the action that is in direct contradiction to the limiting belief.

So we're feeling it,

We're acting upon it,

And we're speaking it to ourselves.

All very important parts of the process.

And this is a very simple way to move through those limiting beliefs and start to begin to change them and even shatter them,

Eradicating them from your life.

That's it.

Three simple steps.

However,

If you want to go deeper and not only shatter the limit,

But change the wired pattern in the brain so that they don't really sneak back in in the long term,

We want to walk through the process of cognitive restructuring.

This is something I do with women all day long,

Every single day,

You know,

Minus the weekends,

Of course.

So what does cognitive restructuring mean?

It literally means that we work together to identify the faulty thought patterns that are contributing to the limiting belief so that we can reshape them into something that works for you.

It is tricky work.

And I do recommend that you do this with a trained professional,

But I want to give you a bit of understanding of what it takes to rewire the thoughts that do not serve us.

The first thing that we would do together is to look for any cognitive distortions you may really have in your thinking pattern.

So these are the filters that we talked about in the beginning.

If you're not sure what these are,

Listen to episode 52.

It is Negative Thoughts Running Your Life.

That's the title.

And I'll put a link in the show notes so that you don't have to search for it.

But in this episode,

I walk you through black and white thinking,

Overgeneralizing,

Personalization,

All of these filters that really help keep the limiting belief stuck in your thought process.

You're going to want to know those.

But once we know,

We start to restructure that limit.

Much like the steps that we just walked through together,

We begin by really self-witnessing the thoughts that are coming in.

We work to get into a place that we notice what's happening in the thought process all the time.

Some people really find this to be exhausting work,

But one way that we can work with it and not make it such a taxing process is to carry that journal,

Like I mentioned before,

And write down the thoughts that we have.

And this way we can really begin to question the assumptions,

The thoughts.

What we want to do here is to begin the questioning of,

Is this something that I was taught?

Or is this something that I have illogically really placed into my life,

You know,

That I don't have real tangible evidence for?

Most of the time what you're going to find is that your limiting beliefs have been taught to you.

They've been spoken into you.

You know,

You're not going to get that part in the play that you wanted.

So therefore you're not going to be able to have the career that you wanted on Broadway,

Right?

That's a big example.

But it's really those things that other people say to us that we own as ours,

Even though they were really never meant to be ours in the first place.

When we do this part where we're looking at,

Is this my ownership or not?

We can then begin to really find a better thought.

We can ask ourselves some even deeper questions and help break down the limiting belief even further.

And those questions are,

Is this limiting belief based in fact?

Or is it based in emotion and thought?

Remember that our thoughts are not necessarily facts.

Our emotions are really only true for us.

So is it fact,

Really tangible and hard evidence?

Or is it based on what I think and feel?

The next question is,

What evidence do I have that says that this thought is accurate and my truth?

Next,

Is there any way that I can test this belief?

This is a huge one.

This is the process that normally begins to shift the thought for a lot of people.

Can I test this belief?

Can I test that I'm not good enough?

Probably not,

Unless you put yourself through something that would really be outside of your comfort zone,

Which then of course is working to break the limiting belief,

Right?

So it takes action.

Is there another way that I can see this thought?

That's the next piece.

Is there another angle?

And there will always be another angle.

There's always an opposite thought.

There's always an opposite truth.

There's always an opposite counter piece.

The next question,

And that's the one that I love so much.

We've talked about this just a moment ago,

But does this belief belong to me?

Am I the originator of this thought?

Did it come from mom,

Dad,

Brother,

Sister,

Or somewhere else?

In questioning,

We begin to see that we don't have to hold on to these things.

It's not mine.

It's not true.

So the next piece is something that I absolutely love to do because it really helps us understand how these limiting beliefs are not serving us.

And it really is by doing a cost and benefit analysis in your life.

Many people do this in business.

We can do this in our lives too.

Here,

We're going to weigh the advantages and the disadvantages of our limiting belief.

So say your limiting belief is,

I am stupid.

In order to weigh the advantage or the disadvantage of that statement,

We would ask,

What do I get out of calling myself names?

The answer is negative feelings,

Negative thoughts,

Negative experiences.

The next question is,

Does this inner conversation help me emotionally,

Mentally,

Or physically?

And the answer is,

Of course not.

Of course,

I do not feel good emotionally or mentally or physically when I'm calling myself stupid.

The next thing would be,

What are the long term effects?

Well,

My mindset is going to tank and this feeling of being incapable or stupid is going to bleed into everything around me.

From there,

We can ask,

How does this impact the people around me?

Well,

If I tell people that I can't do anything,

They're probably going to trust that they don't want me to be a part of their group or their work because I'm not capable.

Or I may have others feeling that they're really not wanting to be my friend because this is how I may speak to them too.

You can begin to see that there are no advantages to your limiting thinking.

From there,

We're going to start generating different alternatives.

We want to look at our limits through that fresh perspective.

Remember the opposite place.

The way we do this is to come up with alternative explanations that are one,

Rational,

And two,

Positive.

Much like we did before with offering a positive alternative,

We can do the same here.

We want to create an affirmation that can replace any inaccurate or unhelpful limiting beliefs.

This work takes an investment into yourself because it's an investment of time.

You can't easily change your thoughts by just reaching for a positive one because you must believe what you tell yourself for it to have an affirming action in your life.

So here,

We would really look to replace the I can't with I can.

I don't know how becomes I'm looking for solutions and missing information.

I am stupid becomes I am learning.

When your limiting belief comes up,

You're able to then repeat these valuable sentences that you've already created.

When we're doing this work,

I will often have the women really take a deep moment in their day and their week,

However long it is that we're working on this,

To create this affirmation list so that it's prepared.

So they lock it in on their phone or they carry it around on their journals and they have this prepared,

Ready to go when they need it the most.

This is big.

This is deep work.

Again,

It's very in-depth,

But it can be done.

We can rewire the things that we've told ourselves no matter how long they have been active in our thought process.

So I really want you to think about it.

What is the statement really that I say to myself that causes me more trouble than good?

What do I want to do about it?

Am I ready to take it on and move it out of my life to shatter it once and for all?

It's an important question and you have to be ready for the work.

You have to be willing to put the time and the energy.

And that leads me to what are the benefits of really shattering these things out of your life that are simply not working for you.

And it's very simple.

You gain self-trust.

You gain self-esteem.

It gives it a boost.

You rebuild or perhaps build self-confidence for the first time.

We're able to really look at those 12 pillars of self-confidence and move through them in a way that is dramatic in such a good way,

Right?

In a way that we can show up and own our lives.

You can change your thought pattern from negative to neutral and then positive.

And that positive mindset opens the door for a better daily experience.

It allows you to realize how much beauty is in your life and it gives you that understanding that you don't have to allow one little piece of living to be lost.

That's such a big thing.

It's a huge thing.

And when we do this work,

We can turn our no's into yes's.

And there is great power in every yes and every permission piece that you give to yourself.

Because when you're not fighting your limits,

You're going to lower your stress and anxiety.

You're going to build a healthier relationship with yourself and then that allows you to have those great relationships outside of you.

All of this unhealthy coping,

It really does begin to fall away.

Those inner conversations of things from the past,

Things that you've been taught,

They become background noise,

White noise.

They fall away into the distance and you realize,

I am not the things that I have been told.

I am not the things that I have thought.

I am not the things that others have asked me to own,

But they were never mine to begin with.

If you want to get your life fully together,

You have to shatter them.

You have to let them go.

You really have to move through the steps and the process.

I'm going to quickly just give those to you very,

Very quickly again so that you can tie it all together.

When we're moving these beliefs out of our lives,

We want to first identify the belief.

We want to explore and learn where they came from.

We want to question them and look for the evidence that they are not the truth.

We want to prove them wrong and reframe them.

We want to step outside of our comfort zone and tell ourselves,

Yes,

I can.

I will.

I am.

I'm going to.

I'm focused on.

I'm doing the work.

We are then going to use affirmations or mantras to help guide ourselves back when those limits sneak in.

And ultimately,

We're going to give ourselves permission to let go of the old stories.

So let go of anything that our brain has said it will keep us safe.

And yet that isn't the truth.

Anything that's working against you can be moved out of your life.

And this is how we shatter our self-limits.

This is where we take the self-limiting beliefs,

Flip them on the head and say,

You know what?

I am wildly capable of anything I want to do.

And no matter what anyone has to say or what my experiences have taught me,

I know that I can.

And I no longer have to tell myself that I can't.

When you self-sabotage,

When you place limits on yourself,

You put your life,

Your greatness in a box.

And as a result,

You will continue to strive for the life that you want,

That you desire,

But you may never actually get there.

And that's sad.

It's not something you want to do.

So instead,

You have to start saying yes to yourself and no to the limits.

You do deserve to shatter anything that's working not in your favor.

You can do this.

I promise.

Even if it seems impossible right now,

I ask that you get started.

Just do the work.

If you need help,

Reach out.

Reach out to me or to others like me and just do it.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode,

Which originally aired on the Get Your Life Together Girl podcast.

Please take the time to review this conversation and follow me here on Insight Timer for more courses,

Meditations,

And additional conversations.

Until next time,

Be kind to yourself and others.