Letting Go Of Control

At its root, the desire for control is an infantile thought: “What I want is what I should have.” We do have a limited capacity to control many things within our life circumstances: our relationships, or our emotions. But when we try to control what cannot be controlled, we suffer and cause others to suffer. On this podcast, Gangaji speaks to what that moment of letting go of control really is and what it reveals. She shares it “is the opportunity to realize what doesn’t need to be controlled.

Transcript

It is that letting go where the mind stops its clutch and just opens that allows naturally the most profound,

The most mysterious,

The most unspeakable realization.

Hello and welcome to Being Yourself,

Self-Inquiry with Gangaji.

My name is Barbara Denempont.

Today I am so happy to bring to you a recording that actually might be the most popular or the most listened to recording that we have in the archive.

It was recorded back in 1997 in Boulder,

Colorado.

At the time we called it Letting Go of Control.

It's a wonderful monologue where Gangaji is speaking to really what that moment of letting go of control really is.

Then I hang on a little bit longer to this clip because there's a wonderful exchange with a young woman who comes up and really shares her moment of letting go of control.

Let's take a listen.

Welcome to Satsang.

I was having a conversation with someone the other day and they asked me what's the mark of spiritual maturity,

What's the sign of spiritual maturity,

Because it's often spoken of as a necessity to truly awaken to who you are.

And I accept that it is a necessity,

A spiritual maturity.

It doesn't have anything to do with what people think it has to do with,

However,

It doesn't have to do with how many years you've practiced or how many years you've prayed or how many years you have been good or bad or not practiced.

It seems to me that at the most basic level it's the realization that you are not in control.

This,

Of course,

Is a shattering realization.

So at least from the time the human being is two years old or so,

There is this belief in the possibility of control and this fight for control and this attention and energy on control.

And obviously there are many things that can be controlled to a great degree.

Nothing can be controlled totally.

Bodily functions can be controlled to a degree.

Circumstances can be controlled to a degree.

Thoughts,

Emotions,

Position,

Survival can be controlled to a degree,

But finally cannot be controlled.

So I want to make a distinction between control and support because there is great joy in supporting and there is misery in this tendency to believe that one can control.

So to support the health of the body,

To support the health of the planet,

To support the health of other bodies,

This is joyous,

To support the awakening of all beings.

This is joyous and natural.

It's a natural activity that is joyous.

But to imagine that you can control the health of the body,

That you can control the health of other bodies,

That you can control the health of the planet,

Or that you can control the awakening of all beings.

This is suffering actually because it takes enormous attention and energy away from supporting.

So that the energy and the attention is always on the outcome,

Is always checking,

Is the body healthy?

Is their body healthy?

Is the planet healthy?

Are they waking up?

Am I waking up?

So always looking to some end rather than simply giving all that energy and attention to supporting the awakening,

The health.

You understand what I mean?

So in that shift from attention on control to attention on support,

There is a great release.

There is the recognition of the fullness of being out of control.

Because really the being in control,

Or the desire to be in control,

Or the illusion of being in control,

Or the hope to be in control,

Is all based on the megalomania of thinking you know what it is the outcome should be.

And this at least goes back to when you were two years old.

What you want is what it should be,

Period.

So this is immature,

Simply immature.

With the mystery of maturity,

Or the mystery of the shattering of the illusion of control,

Ironically of course it's the upside of aging.

Because however much you did it right,

Finally the body begins to decay.

And certainly there are great advances in medicine where perhaps the body will not decay as fast.

There are great discoveries in misuse of the body that can be shifted so that the decay does not happen as fast.

But the truth is the whole planet is also in that decay.

So of course perhaps we can get in spaceships and go to another planet.

Why not?

No problem with that.

But if this is all supported by the illusion of control rather than the truth,

Possibility of true support for all of that,

Then when we go to the other planet,

Or when our bodies are made to live four hundred,

Five hundred,

A thousand years,

They will simply be four hundred,

Five hundred thousand years of suffering,

Rather than the joy of one's being.

So I'm not anti-science and I'm not anti-discovery at all.

I happen to be very interested in it.

But my attention is on supporting the awakening of what doesn't need to be extended,

Of what doesn't need to not decay,

Of what doesn't need to be physically well to be truly free.

And we have met by some set of mysterious circumstances so that we can support that in one another,

So that we can recognize that the possibility to discover the truth of no control is the opportunity to realize what doesn't need to be controlled to be free,

To be happy,

To recognize itself.

So if you are here in Satsang,

However it is you imagine you got here,

Even if you think your friend controlled you in getting you here,

I assume that you are here because you are at the very least interested in maturing.

At the very least that's the ground.

And this maturing is a maturing into the realization of what is whole and free and eternal and limitless.

What is your own self,

Self as truth,

Not self as what we have called our self,

Our particular body,

Our particular memories,

But self as the totality of all being.

So I make that basic assumption.

And if I am mistaken,

Which it is always possible to be mistaken,

I also assume that if that is not your desire,

If you are simply open to the possibility that it is your desire,

You will find it to be so and you will catch this fire,

This joy,

This peace of letting go.

Simply letting go.

It is that letting go where the mind stops its clutch and just opens that allows naturally the most profound,

The most mysterious,

The most unspeakable realization.

Before that there is a clutching at what one thinks must happen or should happen or even did happen.

And that clutching itself perpetuates the suffering,

The identification with control,

Just the opening,

Just the letting go.

The willingness to let go and see who is really here,

Who are you really?

Not who you think,

Not who they think,

Not who you hope,

Not who you fear.

Who are you really?

Yes,

There is a great sigh.

You know physically when there is a sigh,

It is,

Oh,

Some unsuspected,

Some unconscious place that was holding,

Let's go.

Oh,

Didn't even know it was holding me,

Oh,

This is endless.

Okay,

Let's have it.

I have such a great follow-up for what you are speaking.

It is exactly what I wanted to report,

A little report and then a question.

But it was exactly this that I had an experience this week that I had two shockers this week.

One was like a shocker,

Like God,

That's what is going on here.

The other one was wow,

I can't believe this.

And it was that I was having this experience with Charlie about something that I really wanted.

And I thought that I had to have this,

I had to have this or I just couldn't be satisfied here.

And I was discussing this with him and we were really in inquiry about it,

Whereas always in the past it was I had to dislike or resent or go away or run away.

So now we are into this,

What is this about?

What do you think?

How come I want this so much?

What do you think this is about?

Do you really think?

And he said that is just a thought that you want that.

And I said no,

It's not just a thought,

I really want this.

That's not just a thought,

That's real that I want this.

And he said no,

Just consider that it might just be a thought.

And when I considered that that was just a thought and I started to think well what if this is just a thought and I really don't have to have this to be happy,

It felt like the whole,

Everything opened up for me and it was so huge and the whole rest of the week I had been living in this space where everything looks different to me with Charlie now.

Everything and I've been able to experience a depth of what I thought this thing was that I couldn't have with him but it doesn't look like what I thought it was going to look like.

And that's right,

That's the key right there.

It doesn't look like what I thought it was going to look like because it's what you thought it was going to look like that you thought you wanted rather than the truth of the depth of the intimacy or the depth of the understanding.

What I saw is that if I think I know what I want there is no way for me to be at peace.

That was what I saw that I didn't know before.

Very good.

It was a miracle and this whole week has been like now everything that I think I want to keep going,

Wait a second maybe this isn't really so and I felt like I just lifted this week and it was just miraculous for me.

So tell me what do you really want?

This Now that these have been uncovered to be thoughts based on some idea of what will give you more power.

If I could coin all the phrases that we say but I don't want to do that.

I want to see for me what that is.

Excellent.

And what it is for me that I have been experiencing this week is if I to just right in this moment what is here that I could fully be with and that's what I'm finding is ecstasy for me this week.

That's what I'm seeing is what I really want.

In this moment,

Right in this moment,

What is here that you can absolutely be with regardless of what happens,

Regardless what action I take,

Charlie takes,

Somebody else takes,

Regardless of what happens,

Circumstantially,

That you can absolutely,

Completely be with that and let's change it.

That you are absolutely,

Completely,

Already with.

It's just a big space what I want is just to be in this with no thought in my mind about how anything is being,

Just to be in this.

So right now.

Right now.

And right now that's what I want.

And right now is there anything that obstructs that desire from its fulfillment?

Nothing.

Excellent.

Nothing.

This is the truth.

This is the truth.

You don't have to believe it.

You have the opportunity to investigate it and see is it so.

Can it be that simple?

I say yes.

Not only can it be,

It is already that simple.

And you have discovered the key to unlock the complication so that the absolute simplicity of this that you want to be with is this that you are with in this moment and all moments.

I'm not speaking about the particular circumstances or the pleasure or the pain that may arise in any moment,

But I am speaking regardless of circumstances,

Regardless of pleasure or pain,

That which you really want.

Not only are you with it,

You are it.

There is a lot of wonderful material in the archives and I invite you to write to me with a topic suggestion.

You can write to me,

Barb,

At info at gangaji.

Org.

That's info at G-A-N-G-A-J-I dot O-R-G.

And I want to always remind you to visit the website gangaji.

Org.

There's all kinds of information,

Additional podcasts,

Clips,

And other ways that you can get to know more about Gangaji,

Her foundation,

And how you can connect with her and the global community.

I really appreciate our time together and I love this opportunity to dig into these archives.

Thank you for giving me that job.

That's all for now.

Until next time.

Reviews

Amazing thank you! I love to listen to your teachings, I find them totally awe inspiring thank you so much 😊

Good examples. Delivers material in a down to earth manner

Loved this. It’s so easy to get caught up not relishing what we are caught up in that gets all our focus and isn’t important.
To share in the lady at the end’s experience was wonderful. So glad you included it as it has helped me. I’m not there yet but I will get there.
Thank you.

What a beautiful and profound talk. Thank you. 🕊️🌼🦋🌞🥰🌈🌻♥️🙏✨🌹

Pleasant to hear and helpful 😊 thank you so much 😊

Incredible!

Desire or expectation for control is a destroyer of our chance for peace of mind.

Spoke to my 'self' who tingled with joy!

Mind blowing!!!!!!

Love it 😍

Wow! There is so uch here! Thank you for this 🙏

Namaste 🙏

So helpful. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you 🙏 so much!!

Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you for sharing this podcast.
I needed to hear this right here right now!
I feel such a relief in my mind with the realization that I can just “let it go.”
Namaste 🙏

Thank you very much 🙏

Wow 🤩

So clear and simple, thank you