Where Does Behavior Come From & How Can We Change It?

Have you felt guilt or shame about a particular behavior? In this track, I uncover what I've discovered about behavior and where it comes from. I'll give you some things to consider and a new way of looking at your behavior from a place of compassion.

Transcript

Welcome,

I'm Vicky Montague,

A wellbeing and possibility coach.

I spent most of my life confined by and led by my restricted negative thinking.

Now I share what I've discovered about living a life free from limits,

Reconnecting people to their unlimited potential to achieve what appears impossible.

Today I want to talk about where behaviour comes from.

Now this is such an area where there's so much judgment,

Self-judgment and external judgment,

And I just wanted to clear that up with a short exploration of where behaviour actually comes from.

And the first thing I want to say is that behaviour is entirely logical,

Always,

Without exception.

So whatever we're doing,

Whatever behaviours we're displaying,

They are always logical when we trace them back to what's being believed in the mind,

What thoughts are passing through the system.

So for example,

If I were to think I really need some chocolate,

I feel really tired and I know chocolate's going to help,

Then my behaviour,

Logically,

Would be to go and get some chocolate.

If I think somebody doesn't like me,

My behaviour would logically be to avoid that person.

It's entirely logical.

We can trace behaviour back to what's being believed in the mind.

And for me that is a huge,

Huge relief.

It doesn't come from something outside of us.

Nothing in the outside world can make us behave a certain way.

And this is for you to explore for yourself.

When you do something,

Can you get quiet enough,

Can you get still enough to notice what's happening in your mind?

Can you notice what thought is passing through that creates that behaviour?

And then I want to introduce something else to consider.

And that is,

Do you have to believe that thought?

Do you have to act on that thought?

So once you've got quiet and noticed a thought,

Can there be a little gap?

So if you have the thought,

I really need a bar of chocolate right now.

Once you've noticed the thought,

Is there a possibility that you don't have to act on that thought?

You don't have to believe it.

And what happens when that space opens up?

What happens when you don't follow that thought?

Does the behaviour change?

Does a different thought appear to you?

I'd love you to experiment with this and to leave a comment so that we can continue this conversation in a relevant way to you.

Reviews

Needed this reminder to observe my habitual low self trust and take steps into my true strenght

Lovely explanation and invitation to enquire. Thanks Vicki

This a wonderful session and really resonates with me! Thank you 🙏 ❤️

Thank you for this insightful meditation Vicki, namaste 🙏🏾☀️

Good to realize the thought progression. But I'm not so sure I'm the most logical person out there!

Would you consider creating a course to help folks dive deeper into this method of not having to believe and act on every thought we have? Thanks!

Very nice.
Most times if I follow a thought back to the mind I find that I wrongfully believe that I am just bored, or at least my mind believes so.
Thank you for the insights.

I like that thought, thoughts being just them. I don’t have to believe them.

Very profound! In 3 minutes we get to see that we are our own source of our behavior. There’s real power in that!

I'm glad I found this talk and will try to apply it

I’m guessing that our “logical” response following the thoughts could be manipulated or changed with the pause we can take before our reactions to the thought.., I catch myself doing this quite often.., thinking the response through before I react so it’s more likely to have a better outcome! Make sense? Thank you for this thought.., and looking forward to more!

Very useful information. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Thank you for this splendid talk. Very helpful! And thank you for your great class today. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

Thank you . I will think about it . Much love and gratitude ❤️🙏

Yes it makes a lot of sense!
So if I’m self sabotaging or beating myself up for a mistake I made I’m going to have to consider my negative thoughts as the culprit. I would love to practice this and learn more about getting rid of these thoughts. Thank you so much for a wonderful track! 🙏😊

Thank you Vicki . A brilliant reminder to press the pause button - even for a second or two, to see what choices open up 🙏

So helpful to understand why we behave the way we do.

So simple and yet so powerful! Thank you, Vicki for the reminder to inquire. 💛

Thanks Vicki, it's so helpful to remember our behaviours come from our thinking. I'm finding this so helpful when it comes to my job - my behaviour of working long hours is because of fearful thinking that I "won't be on top of it if I don't do more work" - but that's not true, and in fact over working just wears me out. Such a great reminder to not take our thoughts so seriously and let them pass.

Very nicely put, look forward to hearing more Vicki.❤️