Hello,
Unique learner.
Great you are here and again that you are taking this time for yourself.
In this session I discuss perfectionism and procrastination and share my experience of how this negatively impacted my writing and my work.
I will share a self-soothing and letting go technique that can be used for comfort and eventually help you become more mindful,
Make work and writing enjoyable again and thus more efficiently.
These techniques can be used for anyone who is starting their day at work,
Have a big project lined up which they need to finish soon or finish that darn thesis but you have the feeling it is going nowhere or studying for that big test.
In short this talk is for the perfectionist and procrastinators out there.
But there are some common misperceptions.
Perfectionism may be perceived as something positive,
Something to celebrate as it shows this idea that people are disciplined.
Take action,
Get the work done.
While procrastination is often wrongly perceived as a tendency for people who are just being lazy and do not want to work.
Guess what?
Procrastination is part of perfectionism.
It's just not knowing how to start because the results need to be perfect,
Which both will have unattainable standards which may negatively impact a person's mental health and physical health.
I do not take this lightly as I have experienced major health issues because of my high standards and sometimes I still am.
I may be reluctant to start or I am beating myself up for writing that paragraph not perfectly the first time or finishing a project perfectly or I work so stressed that half during the day I am like burned out.
In my other talk time management techniques for peace of mind I give tips for time management.
But what I would like to do now is focus on the negative thought.
Feel it and provide you with a letting go technique as well as a self suiting technique.
I would like you to close your eyes,
Sit with a straight spine or lie down if that's comfortable for you.
Take a long slow deep breath in,
Hold it for a couple of seconds and then slowly exhale making sure you empty your lungs completely.
Take another long slow deep breath in through your nose,
Hold it and then exhale through your mouth.
Take a third deep breath in,
Hold it for a moment and let go through your mouth.
You can already feel yourself drifting in a deep relaxation.
And to help that process what I would like you to do is if you have anything near you,
A blanket,
A scarf,
A sweater,
Anything soft so you can hold it with both your hands on your belly so that it feels like you are holding something comfortably which is a self suiting technique because it makes you feel that you are protecting your body.
Remember breathe in through your nose,
Hold it for a couple of seconds and breathe out through your mouth.
If you find that your mind starts to wander that's okay.
Simply bring your awareness back to the sound of my voice.
Let go of all your expectations and allow yourself to experience your feelings and thoughts to the following journey.
I would like to invite you to think about what is negative,
What is bothering you with work and or writing.
Try to feel it in your body and ask yourself about this total worry.
Am I only seeing the negative?
Am I discounting the positives and think everybody else can do it better?
Or does it fit within an all or nothing thinking or in other words black and white thinking?
Am I over generalizing in a way like I always make mistakes or I never do anything right?
Now hold that thought and ask yourself where do you feel it in your body?
Breathe in through the nose and breathe out through the mouth.
Now think of a time where you felt proud of yourself for example when you did finish your big project or you were able to help someone.
You were the reason for someone's smile.
Where do you feel that in your body?
Breathe in through the nose and breathe out through the mouth.
Now I would like you to go back to that negative worry which is bothering you.
Where do you feel it in the body?
Is it still the same?
Breathe in through the nose and breathe out through the mouth.
Now think back to that positive time where you felt proud of yourself,
Helpful,
Good.
Where do you experience that in your body and how?
Don't forget to breathe in and breathe out.
Now one last time back to the negative,
Total worry.
Where do you feel it in your body?
Has the level of intensity shifted?
Has the feeling moved in your body?
Now ask yourself,
Does it matter?
And is this the negative thought or worry?
Is this the absolute truth?
Can I be someone who feels more positive and comforted without this worry?
Is this something I can truly control?
Well,
Unique learners,
We cannot control anything.
And I hate it when people say,
This too shall pass,
Because the only truth is,
Emotions do come and go,
Just as negative and positive thoughts,
Just as big projects and new deadlines.
So become aware of your physical body.
Are you still holding your self-soothing sweater or blanket?
Wiggle your toes and fingers and when you are ready,
In your own time,
Thank yourself for taking this time for you,
For your body and mind and trying to learn something new about yourself today.
Perhaps this will bring you a smile.
And now,
Open your eyes.
