The Pollyanna Principle

In almost any interaction we are more likely to notice the negative rather than the positive and these will have a longer lasting effect also.

This is called the negativity bias.

When we remember insults more clearly than any praise given and will call to mind traumatic experiences rather than the pleasant even if equal.

For example you have had an appraisal at work,

You have been given lots of good feedback for the way you work and a couple of points where you could work better.

When you come away from that meeting you will more than likely dwell on the negatives rather than the positives.

This is a negativity bias.

You can have had the best meal of your life in a restaurant but later that evening your focus will be on the waiter who was grumpy and spilled your wine.

The reason our attention is drawn to the negativity is due to our past evolutionary need for survival.

The tendency to look for threat or danger has kept us free from extinction so it's not a bad thing.

The problem is we don't necessarily need that level of focus on danger,

Threat and negativity anymore so this can be a disadvantage for us in our lives now.

The real problem with the negativity bias is that once you have focused on something negative the tendency is to seek out anything negative at all and so we can go through our days and our lives looking for and finding doom and gloom.

Fortunately the flip side is also true.

When you choose to see the positives then your mind will start to tune into and seek out the good and useful and beautiful.

In the Christian Bible it says whatever is true,

Whatever is noble,

Whatever is right,

Whatever is pure,

Whatever is lovely,

Whatever is admirable,

If anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.

I think that's a good way of living.

The positivity bias is also nicknamed the Pollyanna principle.

If you have not read the children's book by Eleanor Porter or seen the film with Hayley Mills I would recommend you do so.

The story is about a little girl who comes to live in a town and she teaches all the residents of the town a game that she plays where whatever has happened she chooses to see some good in it.

She deliberately finds the good so no matter how bad the situation is she will seek the good in it.

It is a heartwarming story but I believe it's a lesson for us too.

Maybe you think that to do this would be false,

That it wouldn't be reality,

Being inaccurately optimistic rather than realistic.

Maybe but let's look at the pros and cons for each.

I invite you to close your eyes if this is comfortable for you.

If not look forward and slightly down and soften the gaze.

I want you to bring to mind something that is causing you concern at the moment.

Something slightly stressful,

Nothing too major,

Nothing that is a real traumatic experience for you.

Just something that you feel is a negative in your life at this moment.

It could be a relationship,

Something at work,

Something someone has said,

A health issue,

Whatever it is for you just think about it for a moment.

Think about who is involved.

Has someone said something?

When did this happen?

Was there anyone else involved?

Why has this upset you so much?

What does it make you feel like?

Okay now keeping that in mind take your attention now to the body and notice what is happening in your chest.

Do you notice any tightening?

And what about your stomach,

Your gut?

What is there for you?

A heaviness,

A sick feeling,

A knot,

Swirling and whirring.

What about your toes?

Are you squeezing them,

Curling them?

And your hands and fingers,

What is going on there for you?

Are you clenching your fists,

Squeezing your fingers and your shoulders?

Do you notice any tension there?

Are they lifting up towards your ears?

Can you feel any aches or pains where there is tension in your body?

And what about the face?

Are you frowning,

Scowling?

Do you notice your eyes are squeezing?

What about your jaw?

What is happening there?

Are you clenching?

See where the negative thoughts and stress sit physically in your body.

Where does it sit for you?

You are not trying to change this,

You are just noticing what is there for you.

And open your eyes if you have them closed.

Our physical bodies are excellent at giving us signals of stress and often times we are not even aware of this.

You might have been surprised at what you noticed in your body and what happened when you just merely thought of something that was bothering you,

That something negative in your life,

Even though it is not happening right now in this second.

Imagine now then that you had a whole day of focusing on negatives.

Imagine the tension being held in your body.

Did you know that cortisol,

The stress hormone,

Affects every tissue in the body and if left continuously in the body,

As in the case of chronic stress or continuously focusing on negative and causing this fight flight physical response in the body,

This can lead to serious illnesses later in life.

I invite you to close your eyes again if you wish.

And now I want you to think of someone or something that you are grateful for in your life.

It could be a person or a pet.

It could be something material like a home or a car or it could be your health.

Really think about that person or that thing and what they mean to you.

What do they bring to your life?

What would your life be without them?

What words would you use to describe what they mean to you and how they make you feel?

Really picture that person or that object.

Really see them.

Have an internal sense of thankfulness for them but also towards them as if you were silently thanking them for all they bring to your life.

And now let's take the attention to the body again.

Check the same areas.

The chest.

The stomach.

The feet and toes.

The hands and fingers.

The shoulders.

The face.

The eyes.

The forehead.

The jaw.

What do you notice now?

Do you see softness?

Do you feel lightness?

Relaxed and heavy muscles?

Scan all around your body,

Noticing whatever is there for you.

There are many benefits of practicing gratitude.

It gives positive emotions and thoughts an increase in self-satisfaction.

Enhanced mood.

It gives stronger interpersonal relationships,

Better communication,

More likeability among group members as well as giving a stronger immune system,

Less aches and pains,

Better blood pressure and cardiac functioning and good sleep-wake cycles.

So it's not about waiting to feel positive.

It's about deliberately looking for it in everything.

Dr Bruce Lipton says this about it.

You can choose what to see.

You can filter your life with rose-colored beliefs that will help your body grow.

Or you can use a dark filter that turns everything black and makes your body,

Mind susceptible to disease.

You can live a life of fear or live a life of love.

You have the choice.

What will you choose for this day?

Thank you.