How to cultivate loving kindness and empathy?
Do you like yourself?
How much perfectionism contempt or hate against yourself do you carry around with you?
Can you accept yourself the way you are?
Can you love yourself the way you are?
It is important that you answer these questions before you share empathy and loving kindness with others.
The basic intention and mood in which you approach meditation is essential.
Remember your basic motivation for meditation again.
Do you have a precise picture in your head to show you how you want to change yourself with the meditation?
What kind of emotional quality do you want to realize with meditation?
The first step in developing positive emotions is to find a beloved attitude towards yourself.
Remember a person that you associate with loving kindness,
Being warm,
Caring,
Generous.
It can be a religious figure or a historical figure.
If you associate these qualities with a person in your own current life just find a person here.
If you do not find a person right away just imagine a mother that looks at her child with full love.
Now look at yourself in the same way with an inner smile that expresses loving kindness,
Being warm,
Caring and generous to yourself.
Let your inner critic become silent,
Become your own wise teacher who is mastering challenges with patience,
Empathy and humor.
In this way you develop an inner milieu where experimenting and practicing is fun and makes you happy.
Just sit in silence for a while and try to intensify the feeling of beloved attention and acceptance of yourself.
The second step is to focus on the same feeling but towards another person.
For which person do you feel the most connection or love and affection?
With which person do you feel connected?
That can be a member of your family or your partner who is close to you.
Imagine a vivid image of the face or the whole person or just simply say the name of the person.
Observe how you are opening up emotionally and how your mood is getting lighter.
Maybe you sense a feeling in the area of your heart.
The heart is a symbol for love.
So let this person sink deeper in your heart to show your loving kindness.
The third step has the goal to widen the circle of loving kindness to people that you do not know or that you even reject.
Overcome mistrust,
Prejudices and hostilities and replace them with loving kindness and empathy.
Try to see the human being behind the facade.
Accept and acknowledge also the aspects of the person that felt weird or intimidating.
You can do that with an inner smile of loving kindness.
Finally expand this feelings to all living beings.
Wish them happiness and well-being.
To support and express that wish you can fold your hands in the front of the breast in the area of your heart and focus your attention in this area of the body.
Maybe you are a bit skeptical if there is not a contradiction in these exercises.
Isn't it far reached to love all beings?
Maybe they are also evil and despicable human beings.
Well maybe indeed some of the elements of this exercise appear to be far reached.
It is not the goal to suppress negative impulses that may appear in your life.
The goal of this exercise is not to reprogram you.
The goal is to see the world as it is.
To encourage you to be self-determined and being able to create balance,
Harmony and happiness in yourself.
This exercise can help you to get away from prejudice and negative emotions.
Moving towards a more pleasant feeling towards yourself and others.
You can observe yourself and your reactions after practicing this kind of meditation for some weeks.
How do you react in the traffic?
Can you stay calm while driving,
Standing at a red light?
Or do you still get angry or even react with a rage?
Most likely you will realize how your negative automated response patterns will disappear soon.
Leaving you in a happy,
Calm,
Relaxed and balanced mood.
