Respect - An Everlasting Concept

Respect is an everlasting concept. Respect is given, never taken, neither stirred or shaken. It comes from the heart. Respect is everything and never apart. Respect is a way of treating or thinking about something or someone. We respect for a reason. The reason is that it is a teacher, someone with knowledge you would like to learn from, a parent who you love and have a proper behavior, elderly people or any other reason. But we also respect objects like buildings because they have a history, paint

Transcript

Respect.

Respect is given,

Never taken,

Neither steered or shaken.

It comes from the heart.

Respect is everything and never apart.

This is my podcast about respect.

It's an everlasting concept.

It's a way of treating,

Of thinking about something and someone.

We respect for a reason.

A reason is because it is a teacher.

Someone with knowledge you would like to learn from,

A parent.

Who you love and have a proper behavior.

Or elderly people.

For any other reason.

But we also respect objects,

Like buildings,

Because they are a part of history.

Paintings,

Because they are just beautiful and unique.

Different music,

Musicians.

It goes on and on and on.

And if you have the inner gratitude to be able to offer respect.

But what is respect?

The first thing that comes in mind is the fact that we know our place in the relation to the person or object.

We consider the person more wise.

Having a good standing.

Maybe more knowledge.

With other words we look up to the person for a personal reason.

Another reason is that we consider the deeds of a person.

For instance people fighting the war.

Rescue a child from drowning.

Or another deed we consider heroic or everywhere.

It's also possible to combine admiration and respect when looking at an art form that we are not able to make.

Or of which we consider it in a very high value.

When we look careful to respect it will be very likely that admiration is a part of the process and performance in another part.

It is possible to say that respect is built on a combination of admiration,

Performance,

Actions and result.

In fact we can only respect the result of an action.

This statement gives us a clear tool to know if a person or object deserves our respect or not.

Many people shout for respect but their actions only lead to the opposite.

As their actions are nothing to respect.

Respect is a personal vision and we judge persons and objects from a personal view.

It's not possible we all respect the same people or objects as we all have other values.

Let me give a few examples to express the differences.

Pato artists used to be considered very shoddy figures but currently they became artists and respected for their works by many people while others still do not consider them to have any respect whatsoever.

In music we can see the concept of respect even more clear.

Musicians have their own groups that respect them while others do not like them at all.

Teachers and doctors used to be a part of the most respectful professions but since we discover they are human they do not get the respect they often deserve for their work.

Respect is also dependent on time,

Education and value in society.

In our society the shaman is considered a holy figure while in other societies,

Say a few hundred kilometers or onwards,

The same person is seen as a charlatan.

The western world see them as quacks and cheaters and so on.

To get respect you need to perform.

This implies that if you want to receive the respect of others you must do something to earn it.

If you have no performance and results there is no foundation to find and to receive any respect.

Performers do not need to be something superior or very special.

Being a good parent will deserve you the respect of your children.

A good teacher will get the respect of the students but we see that people do not respect others anymore as they do not know how to value the deed and performance or even objects.

The first step in understanding respect is to understand the value of things in life.

So how can we sell and solve that problem?

How do we value and objects in life?

First of all with the understanding that we are not able to do what the other person did.

We do not know or understand many things in life and what is special in others and reference to ourselves.

It is important to educate people that it takes effort and energy to accomplish something.

Respect is understanding of the effort put in,

Realization of an action and the results of that action.

The best way to teach people this understanding is by letting them take the action in performance,

Art,

Activity or whatever is possible.

It can be sports as well.

Let them feel that it takes much more than words to accomplish things in life.

People have to understand the first statement that respect is earned and not demanded.

In history it is proven that a person who did demand respect never got it and must even die a cruel death.

And what can you do to receive respect?

To receive respect is not to care about it.

That sounds awkward and it sounds contradiction but it is really not.

People who want to be respected are not considered for their own actions but only they look at the reactions of others.

These reactions stay away as there are no actions that deserve the respect of the others.

If you do not care of the reactions of others you can focus on your personal performance and accomplish results.

These results generate response and some will respect you for it and others really may not.

Again I have to say that respect is a personal option based on personal preferences.

The only way ever to get respect is to perform actions,

No matter in what way.

Even Hitler and Mao have many people that still respect them.

This sample is to make you clear that personal preferences for respect go from the far left to the far right from far top and to far bottom in the scale of humanity.

This implies that we cannot exactly define what we must respect or not.

We will respect people that come close to our imaginary world of what is considered by us for perfection performance.

People will judge you on what you do and some will respect you for that.

If you strive for a better life do the things you are good in and as good as possible and you get what is needed and you want it,

The respect you will get it.

But perform,

Perform,

Perform.

Question and answer.

Question 1.

I am a teacher and I feel my students do not respect me at all.

What can I do?

And so on.

First of all ask an auditor to come and judge your lessons.

How do you give your lessons?

Do you have a natural authority of the students?

Is your knowledge sufficient and good enough?

How do you interact with the students?

Respect is received on basis of performance and really not on demand.

So you really have to consider your position as being a teacher before you can ever get the respect that you want.

Earn it.

Question 2.

What about self-respect?

You did not mention anything like that in the lecture.

No.

Answer 2.

During the lecture I did focus on earning the respect of others.

Self-respect is a bit of a fable.

That's a kind of fairy tale.

We better consider it self-acceptation and not self-respect.

You accept yourself and do not respect your own deeds.

That will be awkward.

Performance and whatever you make.

You cannot respect that kind of things.

It sounds like self-pity.

A need to be liked and at least by someone.

Is that someone,

Only yourself.

Yeah,

You can really consider it pitiful,

Right?

In the lecture I started clearly that respect is earned and not demanded.

If you consider self-respect something you earn,

Then that is a clear contradiction.

Question 3.

Do I need to be respectful in my relationships?

Answer 3.

You start a relationship always on basis of some admiration.

You like each other's body in a simple animal form or you respect it.

And that is a part,

Admiration of the respect.

What I mentioned before.

But most people look further to the actions of the partner.

No matter in what kind of relationship you will be.

We look careful to the actions and do they suit us?

If we agree with them and are compatible with our value system.

Have we judged the action and we respect them yes or no?

If we do not respect the actions it is possible to reason and yeah,

You can agree or disagree with your partner to change it.

And when you can reason and find united common values it becomes a closer relationship.

And respect is a very strong part of it.

If not,

You better depart.

Question 4.

Is there a limitation on the amount of people or things I can respect?

Difficult question,

Yes and no.

Question 4.

We have a limited mind and are only able to have a specific focus in our life.

This allows us to respect only what is compatible with us and in reach of our mind and world.

If things become too far to grasp,

You are no longer capable to respect it.

Let me give you an example.

You are a language specialist and you love all what you see,

What you do and with that language.

But you don't understand a bit about mathematics.

When you get acquaintance to most brilliant mathematicians who are respected all over the world,

You might not even like the person.

The reason is that you do not understand them.

Their imaginary world is far away from yours.

There is no link between what you like and respect and what they do.

This situation makes you accept them as people and probably as a person and you be even hospitable to them and kind.

But you do not feel respect.

Question 5.

Everywhere on my workplace you have signs that we have to respect each other.

This does not comply in any way with what you say.

Can you explain that?

And so 5.

The writers never understood the real meaning of respect.

They are most likely people who shout to deserve respect without any action to earn it.

These people demand something they do not earn.

It's like demanding the salary rise from your boss and who will say no.

You can fight this decision but finally your performance often is the leading factor that give you the rise or not.

In fact these people shout to change the sentence and should learn to accept each other instead of respect.

So ask them to change the signs.

When you accept others the way they are you are able to work with them and find out if they deserve your respect or not.

That takes time and effort from both sides.

Respect comes with performance again and not on demand.

A martial arts will learn to respect the teachers and others the hard way.

If you do not listen they kick or hit you to show you are nobody.

It is a tradition to humiliate others to teach them a lesson.

Most teachers and trainers break you down before they build you up.

In martial arts you learn that respect is not as equal as I like you,

I love you.

In fact we have often said I respect you but I really don't like you.

Later when you get older and understand the position of the teacher you learn more of their way of thinking and background.

Finally you know that respect is right but it comes by time.

But slowly you learn that I do not like you attitude or something more of yourself.

They do not hurt you because they like it but they kick your ego and this is what teach you a lesson in humility.

Knowing where you are,

Knowing your place in life.

These teachers kick your ego to grow it and to grow a new one.

Not bigger but stronger.

They understand of who you are and what you are able to.

In other words the kicks and punches for respect they teach you to accept yourself and know that you have to perform in life to earn respect.

As what I always say respect is never taken,

Always given.

This is the end of this lecture.

It's short and powerful.

If you have any remarks leave them here as a footnote,

Send me an email or contact me in another way.

Also your ideas for other topics are very welcome.

My name is Arnoud van der Veer and I am from the Netherlands.

So if you listen to my other lectures,

Hey,

Be happy and see you later.

Reviews

very detailed, informative and v interesting thank you