Gratitude - Does The World Deserve It? Do You Need It?

Gratitude, the world rings a bell with every person. What do you feel when you hear the word? Instantly, you know the meaning but do you really understand the word and the meaning it has in our lives? Let us first look at the word. Gratitude comes from the Latin word grātus, meaning pleasing, acceptable, agreeable, welcome, dear, beloved, grateful, thankful. The definition of gratitude is a feeling of being thankful and appreciative, Gratitude is the act of feeling and communicating appreciation

Transcript

Gratitude.

Does the world deserve it?

And do I need it?

Gratitude.

The word rings a bell with every person.

When you hear it,

What do you feel when you really listen to the word?

Instantly you know the meaning,

But do you really understand the word and the meaning it has in your life?

Let me first look at the word.

Gratitude comes from the Latin word gratus,

Meaning pleasing,

Acceptable,

Agreeable,

Welcome,

Dear,

Beloved,

Grateful,

Thankful.

And it doesn't stop there.

Gratitude also is found in many other languages in exactly the same meaning.

One of the most interesting parts of my research is the constant return of the fact that people see it as an activity for returning something that is given.

With other words,

Gratitude is a reaction on an action,

On something that happened before.

But gratitude starts in the very early beginning of childhood,

At the moment when the child is still not actively and consciously busy with the principle of action and reaction.

A child's will to share is the first sign of a grateful personality.

This often does not take a long time,

Because at schools there is the interaction with other children and the child is taught to become assertive and take back what is taken or take what others have.

A competitive mind is created.

Underneath this growing behaviour of competition,

Development and progress there is still an attitude of gratitude.

It is a human basic,

A spiritual tool of survival that is ingrained in our character and personality.

The definition of gratitude is a feeling of being thankful and appreciative.

Gratitude is in fact an act of feeling and the way to communicate appreciation for the people,

Circumstances and material possessions in our life.

Gratitude gives us a feeling of warmth,

Motivation,

Positive state of mind and it energises.

It is empowering our body and mind.

From the positive setting of the word and its explanation,

We go back to the everyday life and realise that it is not easy to apply gratitude in the everyday situation.

But is that true?

Most people consider gratitude still as a reaction on events happening to them and around them,

But that is not true.

Let me give an example.

One evening you sit in front of the TV and you see that a famous popular personality has died.

They sum the positive things that that person did during his life and refer to the good deeds and legacy he left behind.

You knew the person and enjoyed the shows,

The presentations,

The songs or whatever the person produced.

You did appreciate the work and the results of that person.

At such moments you wish to thank that person for all what has been done and the memories which left behind.

This is gratitude in its most simple form.

You are thankful and have warm memories of a person.

I had that strong feeling when Robbie Williams died.

Though I never met him nor I ever had any interaction,

I was and still am sincerely grateful for his work and what he left behind.

You will have such personalities as I do in your life.

Focus on this and you will feel the gratitude flowing in every part of your body.

Gratitude is not an emotion.

It is much more that it brings to life.

Real gratitude is a part of your character,

Maybe even temperament that understands the value of something.

Gratitude is not only reserved for humans.

It is also possible for animals and objects as it has no borders nor limitations.

During our childhood we learn to suppress the feelings as it can and is often misused by others.

Our focus is to avoid to be grateful and expect life to give us more and more.

We expect others to help us,

Serve us and be there whenever we consider it useful.

We learn that expectation is more important than acceptance and being grateful for what is given or happening.

Mistrust has become a virtue over trust and not without reason.

Our society is based on a profit-win principle.

We need to get better on what we do,

Of what we do and no matter what it is.

Every action we must have a reaction and bring us some sort of benefit.

That is taught in schools,

Through the media and often even by our parents.

The whole system is pushing for personal gain and not thankfulness.

What you receive is due to your actions taken.

But is that really true?

Think of what I said about Robbie Williams.

His great movies,

Acting performance and his personalities.

They brought us fun,

Laughter and tears.

He got paid to do the job,

That's for sure.

But personality did the job.

He made us emotional and we were happy that he did so.

His acting had impact and we did thank him for that.

Maybe not loud but deep in our hearts.

You may have other samples of people in your life that did give you the same feeling of gratitude,

Which did not cost you any money.

Neither much effort or you had to take any action for it.

During this story I tell and that you walk around in circles of yourself until you find that hidden feeling of being grateful for something.

Our goal is to release this ingrained part of your core self.

Being grateful is a positive in all aspects.

You do not need to show it to others,

Expose it to yourself but never deny it to yourself.

What are these positive effects of gratitude?

You may be surprised.

First of all they are really physical.

Yes,

Physical.

Your body starts to produce more hormones like oxytocin,

Dopamine and serotonin.

All hormones that have multiple functions related to stress release,

Sleep,

Binding with others,

Love affairs and so on.

These hormones are needed for rebuilding of your mind and surely your body.

They assist you in a better health and feeling.

They actually support a better health.

The positive effects in your mind are strong.

A positive mind opens the channels to creativity,

Empathy,

Understanding,

Cooperation,

Care,

Social interaction,

Sexual pleasure,

Better relationships and so on.

Another less positive effect of gratitude is the improvement of meditation and performances.

How can I improve gratitude in general?

That should be a question you have to ask yourself.

But most religions tell you that we cannot project a spirit in an object or in nature because that's what they call animism and that's considered wrong.

Let us be open to be grateful for these objects and parts of nature.

Give it some time to think.

Do some of them ever give you a good feeling?

Do they give you some mental shelter,

Even peace of mind?

Many people find consolation in an object,

An animal or just by walking around in nature.

When you're stressed,

Sad or depressed,

Do they give you a needed support to keep your head up as much as possible?

What about your house?

Does it give you the shelter to keep you safe and warm?

Did you ever thank your house for that?

Just let me try.

Next time before you enter your house or room,

Stand still and imagine that behind that door is nothing.

A hole,

Just thin air and nothing else.

A dark sign.

What will you feel?

Yes,

You feel lost and sad.

Hope not because you lose all the stuff but you did not consider the value of the house itself which gives you the shelter,

The protection,

The care and the safety you need in your life.

Now understand that a feeling of gratitude starts with simple things.

These silent moments of understanding what is good,

Given and useful in your life.

The unsaid events which we take for granted every moment of the day.

Only when we lose it we understand the value.

If you look at your reality and realize the value of everything you understand,

That gratitude for everything brings you closer to yourselves,

Makes you immortal and universal.

You be more of yourself than ever before.

In my sport,

Muay Thai,

Thai boxing,

We start every fight with a dance called Ramoe.

This dance is to thank the teachers,

The land,

The ancestors and the rulers for the fact that we are playing the game and we are able to do it.

We pay respect and gratefulness to our opponent for the fact that he or she made it possible that we can perform there at that moment.

To most people an opponent is an enemy but in Muay Thai we learn that to make a performance or a fight we need two persons to show up.

Without the opponent you cannot have a fight.

We should be grateful for the fact that this person wants to be my opponent and is willing to compete with me.

Muay Thai,

The winning and the losing actually is not important.

We are used to the fact that others decide who is to win and who is to lose.

That is really not in our hands.

The tools we have in our hands is the way we perform and for that we need the opponent.

Only with the opponent we are able to get the best out of ourselves and get better.

When we look at the real picture of the game we see that the performance or fight is just a part of the journey.

Fighting is a stage of learning.

We learn to be grateful for the moments of performance.

The people who allow us to do it and the opponents who compete with us.

All is temporary but have a lasting effect on our life.

A fighter is nobody without all the people and objects helping to get the best out of yourself.

You are nothing without it.

When you realize this and take this to your own situation look around yourself now.

How many people and things made you do what you do and be who you are?

Look at the positive effects of these objects,

Animals or people.

What they have and realize that you can be grateful for the fact that they are just there.

Only being there.

They help you to win your battles in life,

Make your performance possible and enable you to develop yourself.

This is a time you can pay gratitude to whatever you feel is good to.

How can gratitude play a role in your life?

In the former part I explained the role of gratitude in general but when you actually did try to exercise I explained to you it is possible you have felt the first sign of gratitude already.

Now we should look in a more direct personal way to our life.

Can you select persons,

Animals or objects that play an important role in your life?

Our first rule is that gratitude also works positively when you keep it for yourself.

Don't share it.

It's personal.

It's private.

The second rule is not to expect fast gains or benefits.

Of paying gratitude to who or whatever.

There is no action and reaction system nor a benefit behind it.

Only directed affect us as individuals.

A third rule is that real gratitude hangs around a long time,

Even a lifetime and will pay out slowly but steady in all parts of your life.

A fourth rule is never limit yourself.

You can pay gratitude to all what you consider important.

There is no limitation as long as you feel that it's alright for you.

Try to implement these next rules,

Very simple rules of behaviour in your life and you will be surprised by the affect they have.

Not only on you but also on everything around you.

Rule number one.

Say thank you in traffic when people let you cross the road,

Give you the way or let you just pass.

Show a clear hand to show your appreciation.

This simple gesture will bring a positive sign to the driver which will consider the same behaviour for the next person he or she encounters.

If we all do the same a driver will feel more confident and appreciated to stop in care of fellow other road users.

Rule two.

Show proper behaviour such as keep open a door for the next person to come in after you,

Open the door for a person who needs to get in and when you see someone smile,

When you meet people shake hands or show a proper greeting.

Let people know you are aware of them and respect them for just being at that place.

Rule three.

Greet people whenever that is possible.

You can use social media,

Direct contact,

Phone call or whatever way.

Do it personally and direct.

When you take it as a habit the benefits are useful for everybody involved.

Rule four.

Be polite in your use of language.

Show respect for the reader or people who listen to what you say or do.

Rule five.

Look positively at the deeds of others.

This may imply that you have to delete or get rid of people who gossip,

Talk negative or continue command on others.

Yes,

Sometimes a part of gratitude is to say goodbye to the negative persons to improve your life.

Rule six.

Embrace what you have and never envy others.

Thankfulness of what is there at that moment may help you to be stronger at other moments when you really need it.

Rule number seven.

Observe and appreciate.

It is important to observe others doing their work,

Animals in their environment and children in their playground.

Observe and do not judge or draw conclusions.

See the things as they are and find the beauty and pleasure within.

Do not take part in gossip anyway.

When it happens walk away.

Rule nine.

Sometimes write people a note of thanks or better appreciation.

Tell what you like most of their work,

Behaviour or accomplishment.

Many authors on this topic of gratitude tell you to do it often,

But believe me,

When you do it often people will not consider it sincere and even might suspect you to be in for a trick or some benefit from your side.

After reading all these positive vibes I would surely like to bring you back to earth and place you with two feet solidly on the ground before we move on.

Gratitude is a virtue of first class proportions,

But we also have to be aware that not everybody sees it like that.

In fact,

Showing gratitude often to visible or clearly is considered a saturation or emotionally disturbed.

The balance is found in your personal sphere.

Most of the gratitude plays in your head and is very personal.

You do not need to share it.

Make it the behaviour not to show it.

The positive effects come over time and the energy it generates will keep your head up many times and especially when it's difficult.

Question and answer.

Question 1.

I'm a depressed person and often feel very negative about my life and the world.

How can I feel gratitude if I see the world offers me nothing else than misery?

And so on.

When you are a depressed situation you look for the things to hold on,

For objects or people to bring you some light in the darkness.

Sometimes you have animals who offer you a little shelter for the suffering in your mind.

Maybe you have a statue,

A pillow,

A bed,

A room,

Music or anything that gives you some support to pass the day.

Each of these objects,

Animals and persons deserves your gratitude for what they are,

For just being there.

Even if they can do very little for you,

They still do it.

That little is something to show your gratitude toward.

Try to say thank you,

Be sincere and go to the object,

The animal or the person and show that appreciation for just being there.

When you are able to take that step you are in the beginning of your struggle to combat the fearful times of darkness and misery.

Your light is inside and it shines and slowly you will recover.

Question 2.

Gratitude in a very competitive world is near to impossible is my opinion.

I am dealing at the stock exchange and must be fearful and competitive at all times,

Just only to reach my targets.

How can I show any gratitude,

For what?

Answer 2.

What makes your world and your work comes around?

Do you use computers?

Do you have screens you read from?

Who does supply you the information you need every minute?

All these objects and people work hard to assist you to reach your goals.

Did you ever think about them?

Did you thank them for their efforts and work?

If you ever consider being grateful for what and for who,

Helps you to be who you are after your work.

Stop for a moment look around and discover that there are so many things that support you.

What can you do without them?

Who are you if all this will leave and let you stand with empty hands?

What is your level of competition without your computer and the people who supply you with the needed information?

I hope you are aware of that.

And all these things should receive your gratitude and respect more than once as without them you are not able to accomplish anything.

Question 3.

Is gratitude equal to being humble?

Answer 3.

Gratefulness may make you feel humble but it is not a negative effect on your personality that you become a very humble personality.

No,

That is not the case.

Being humble,

Feeling humble,

That is something pretty different.

Question 4.

I work as a car salesman.

In my job I need to persuade people to buy cars even when they are not able and not possible to buy because they are too expensive.

Each sale is a part of my commission which makes my income.

It seems to me hard to give and receive gratitude.

How do you think that I can comply and apply this and lower my stress levels because they are really super high?

And so forth.

Most people in car sales are known for their greed.

They want to earn as much as possible at every deal they make.

Most have sale targets and are under a lot of stress and all the time and just because of their targets.

But the best selling is done from the buyer's side.

Step into the shoes of the buyer and find what is really needed and wanted.

Your first winning is the heart and trust of a customer.

If you win that it will be easy for them and for you to judge.

Most salesmen cheat for a profit but lose it on the long term.

When you buy instead of sell you will receive gratitude instead of only money.

If you dare to show your gratitude to people for the fact they come to you in your shop and your cars and buy it you really have a winning attitude.

With this attitude you receive and give gratitude,

Have less stress and very much long term profits.

Step 5.

During meditation I often feel drawn in gratitude for life as it is as a whole.

It chokes me that much gratitude I feel for the world and my life.

The feeling is so powerful that I slowly start fearing it.

What can I do?

And so 5.

When you realise how much power gratitude has in your brain,

Your life and on a universal scale it's breathtaking.

The overwhelming effect of gratitude can come in all its powers over you which feels like it's taking over you.

That feeling is temporary.

But to give over is like a contradiction with your survival instinct.

Everything that takes over your mind is seen as a potential danger by the protective mechanism in your head.

The situation you described as normal and every advanced person in meditation has to pass through this phase.

Just give yourself over,

Draw on in it.

After this you experience the power of the universal gratitude and discover it fills you with energy,

Emotion and mercy.

Gratitude is strong and delivers more than you can imagine.

This is another sample of terms of life.

This is the end of this lecture.

Thank you for listening.

Check the other letters as we continue.

My name is Aronald van de Aaveering from the Netherlands.

If you have any questions just send me mail,

Leave a comment or try to contact me.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you for sharing! Being grateful does bring good things in my life, it really works ^ ^