Generosity

Explore generosity is this talk and guided meditation. This practice is brought to you by the Flourish Foundation, a social profit dedicated to inspiring systemic change through heartmind cultivation, promoting personal well-being, benevolent social action, and environmental stewardship.

Transcript

The theme generosity,

I was thinking about it today that when I personally for me this particular value of generosity is one that is so dear particularly as I'm sitting here in this space and I think of the evolution of this organization and there's one story in particular that will I'm sure be with me for the rest of my life,

There's just no question and that is I had a dear friend almost 10 years ago to about this time where I was meeting with her,

We were connecting and just really on the level of friendship at this point and I was telling her about my own consternations with how we could transform society and communities and in the world and really this idea of engaging in an insider's approach to do this and this is something I've been thinking about for a long time that many of our interventions tend to be focused out there but often if we change the structures and the institutions out there but we still as individuals are bringing our same level of mental afflictions then as Mark Twain said,

History never repeats itself but it often rhymes and we can get in these patterns again where we see this administration moves out and this administration moves in and it seems very promising and yet if we don't really touch these areas of our human nature that compel us on occasion to enact behaviors,

Speech,

Thoughts that are harmful for ourselves and others then we're really vulnerable to the kind of transformation or to creating a lasting transformation that could persist over time that quickly is lost due to kind of the same old suspects which I really over the years have kind of pointed my finger mostly not at people but I think,

Oh,

That's self-centeredness and there's greed and there's hostility and if we could really transform those it would be wonderful and so I remember really having this vision for how to explore this in a very secular fashion particularly in education but then also looking in business and healthcare professions and really finding a platform where this becomes a part of our culture and it's not something that we may have to wait for a long time to kind of bump into accidentally but this just becomes a part of our education for what it means to be human and interacting with other human beings and other living beings on the planet and I remember having these conversations and at one point I was out to lunch at a restaurant and we were sitting and my friend looked at me and she said,

So are you going to ask me for money?

And I said,

Gosh,

I don't know.

And she said,

Well,

You have this idea but maybe it's time that you really start to really pursue it and it sounds like you need some money to really support yourself and get other people involved.

And she very gently but forcefully pulled me in to asking and it made me really extend myself in a way to really be aligned with generosity and it was such an extraordinary moment because it was really the inception of this organization and I look now at the number of individuals that have been involved with Flourish and continue to be involved and I think what's the real ground of this organization?

And I'd say,

Oh,

It's generosity.

It's generosity that's allowed this organization to flourish.

So this value more than any is really so dear to my heart and when I think of generosity and the generosity especially that comes through the extension of our abundance of giving to others extra that we have whether it's through money or material goods,

I see that especially in this day and age is incredibly relevant.

And just this afternoon I was looking at some statistics so that I didn't misstate any facts but one that really leapt out to me was that in the United States right now there's three men,

Three billionaires who have more that they own than 50%,

The lowest 50% of the United States and we see this,

You know,

This pattern is really expanding throughout the world and I just,

I was listening to NPR the other day and it's increasing.

There was,

There's some new data that just suggests in our country the gap,

The wealth and equity is growing and so it seems very timely this topic of generosity in many ways particularly on this front of giving material goods or not holding on to so much and really meeting our basic needs and then seeing what can I do to be a conduit to allow this energy,

This abundance that is blessed upon me or someone else to flow out to another.

And I think this is one of the things that's super exciting about generosity is that it's really the value,

The virtue that transforms our kindness and compassion into something that could be an action or it becomes actualized like a space,

A building.

There's so many things that can manifest but it's really the magic ingredient,

The elixir that allows all the other values to flow.

And it's important to recognize that when we think of generosity that it's not just confined to material goods,

That there's this generosity that has to do with showing up for others.

I think of an organization that I've been involved with and I see this so prevalent in this organization,

Hospice,

Where there's so many volunteers,

There are many employees and staff that support the daily operations of the organization but there are so many volunteers and I myself,

Being a volunteer for hospice,

Have found over the years in many situations,

I can't,

It doesn't matter if someone is in this transitional phase of dying,

It's not gonna help to write him a check,

Here's $50,

This will help.

But what does help in these situations is the giving,

The generosity of our presence,

Of coming from a place of care,

Of compassion,

Of kindness,

Of comfort.

And so there's that type of generosity too that it's not conditioned by how much we have but it's more internalized in how we decide we wanna show up.

And then it's not only the decision or the intention to show up but it's the willingness to convey that,

To actively express that to another.

And often that could be I'm showing up and I'm going to give space to listen.

And that in itself over the years,

At least in the hospice work that I've been involved with,

I've had a number of people say,

God,

You were so wonderful what you did and you helped my father so much and he spoke so much about what you did.

And I think to myself,

God,

I did nothing outwardly that was really,

That anyone would be able to see but really made this intention every day just to show up and offer my very best in terms of my presence.

And this in itself can be a wonderful gift,

Something that we can freely give.

And it's something that like sharing our wealth and abundance,

This is in tremendous need.

And I think is often it's a little bit compromised,

Especially when we enter into public places and we see how rare it is that people will have interactions if they're all like waiting in the airport.

Most of the time people may be looking down on their phones or engaged in a book.

And so it's just so wonderful when you see someone sitting there and you kind of walk by and they kind of like smile and wave.

Are they waving to me?

Oh,

Wow.

You know,

And just offering this generosity of kindness,

Of comfort,

Of care.

And the last kind of generosity that,

And certainly this is not an exhaustive list,

But the last kind of generosity that we can think about is the generosity of sharing insights,

Giving wisdom,

Giving practical guidance.

And so I see,

I know some of you here are teachers,

So you're very familiar with this kind of giving.

And it's very meaningful sharing one's knowledge,

One's expertise,

And really giving generously of information.

You know,

I just had a person call today and was interested in starting a nonprofit and said,

God,

We know you've got a nonprofit.

Would you be willing to sit down with us and share this information about how to start a nonprofit?

And again,

Something that I could easily say,

No,

You know,

No way.

But seeing,

God,

How we started.

Someone really,

I wrote on the back of the generosity of another organization where I remember calling someone up a friend and saying,

We want to start a nonprofit.

And they generously gave us their bylaws and their board contract and all these things that we were able to then really adapt to our own needs.

But there's this kind of generosity that can be very useful.

And so for tonight,

What I thought for the meditation,

What we could do is to explore these three types of generosity in a way that could potentially motivate our generosity.

And one of the things that I was really interested in,

I was just reading a study on generosity and particularly what motivates people's generosity.

And one thing that was a little bit surprising to me is that according to this research,

It was at the,

And this research was done at the Max Planck Institute in Germany.

And according to the research they did,

That generosity is not necessarily a biological inclination,

Which I was,

I was a bit surprised to find that out.

I would,

I would think that if you walked into a room and you gave one kid three marbles,

And then you had another kid there without any marbles,

That naturally they might work it out.

And it turns out that at least from this research,

They said generosity,

It seems that it's something of course we all have the capacity for,

But it's something that is strongly conditioned by the cultural norms around us.

And so if we're in a culture of generosity and we see generosity happening around us,

Then it becomes contagious,

So to speak.

One becomes more willing to engage in generosity.

So a part of our practice tonight is really aligning with that idea of opening our mind up to recalling episodes of generosity around us,

Because it would be really easy if we just focused on the statistic that I threw out in the beginning and the looking at the reality of the global inequality.

If that was only our focus,

We would see,

Yeah,

No one shares,

No one's giving,

No one's giving generosity.

And from that mindset,

If we're really,

We have this singular focus on this aspect of reality,

Then that may actually hinder our capacity to be generous ourselves just by looking out and seeing who's not being generous.

So now turning this upside down and looking at who are the people that we know in our close circle of friends,

Or you could be by way of the media who are generous and really extending our attention there and delighting and appreciating in this generosity and starting to kind of build that momentum by aligning ourselves with the cultural norm of giving.

And so that'll be one aspect of the practice.

And then another interesting thing that came up in some of the research around what motivates generosity is that when people slip into a mindset of scarcity and,

Or a mindset of cynicism that,

You know,

The kind of the,

The world's like out to get us,

It's not a safe place and there's just not enough.

There's just not enough that that also can be an obstacle to our generosity.

So the practice,

Again,

What I want to focus on is can we start to,

If,

If we find that creeping in,

Can we have a way,

A portal to shift our attention to something else and perhaps even catch ourselves if we start to fall into that cynical place.

And I know just this afternoon as I was reading this,

I thought,

Oh my God.

And then I looked at,

Oh,

I'm going to look at this globally,

You know,

And,

And the statistics there,

They're much the same,

You know,

And it would be really easy to kind of,

To just stay stuck in that mindset.

But then again,

As I,

As I,

As I left the office before I came here,

I was really,

I was on a walk and I was,

I was really thinking who are the people in my life that have been really generous and there are many,

And then it's,

And we really start thinking about it.

It can almost be infinite because we talked about initially that if we became really insightful in this process,

We might even look at even the people who've brought me adversity.

There's a kind of generosity there.

It's given me an opportunity to grow,

To open my heart,

To develop greater compassion,

Resiliency,

Whatever it may be.

And we,

So we can,

We can reframe it.

It's not just objectively this way,

This adverse situation.

So as we build up the momentum,

We can actually start to see,

God,

I'm just swimming in an ocean of generosity.

And with that,

That resonance,

Then we can free ourselves from this scarcity mentality that often causes us to contract and hold back.

And that's really what it seems like.

As I said in the beginning,

It's not people,

But it's the mindset that then conditions people's behavior.

And so if we can first catch that in ourselves rather than think about,

Oh,

If I could just change all those people,

But if I can actually start to catch in myself when I fall into that scarcity mindset,

When I fall into that kind of cynical view that the world is just a selfish kind of dog eat dog world out there and shift my attention away from that and open up to something else,

Then generosity could flow.

And it just,

You know,

In my own experience,

It seems that that's really where the greatest hope is.

And if we become examples and we start to think of those others who have inspired us,

Then maybe we'll be in someone else's meditation practice one day and think,

Oh,

That generous person.

Maybe it'll be you.

So that's what we could hope for is to really inspire each other in that way,

Really starting from the inside out.

So that's what the practice will focus on and we'll bring these three types.

I'm just using them as general categories.

Again,

It's not exhaustive by any means,

But we'll focus first on a person or it could be a group of people,

But you might find that it's more effective to be somewhat specific.

A person for whom you know is generous through their abundance that they have and just sharing their wealth,

Their material comfort,

Material goods,

Whatever it may be.

And then the second will bring to mind an individual who inspires us with their kindness,

Their compassion,

The comfort that they give and convey to others.

And the third will be those who've inspired us through their gift of knowledge,

Through their insights to really support us in our own human evolution.

And if someone doesn't come to mind in these categories,

No problem.

Just let it be an open space.

So that could be interesting too,

To recognize like,

Gosh,

I really can't think of anyone in this domain.

That could be really an interesting insight to see.

Maybe I'll set an intention to see,

I'll start looking out.

Are there such people out there?

And that could be a little bit diagnostic too,

To see maybe where our awareness has contracted a bit,

To see,

Ah,

Maybe have I been missing a certain aspect of reality here?

So that'll be our practice.

And then,

Yeah,

We'll have some time to connect after the practice.

In the spirit of generosity,

Find this super comfortable position and we'll start from there.

That's pretty much it for me.

And whether the eyes are open or closed,

Begin the meditation by allowing the eyes to relax.

And before extending our awareness outward,

And considering those in our life who've inspired us with their generosity.

Be generous with your awareness in bringing attention to your own experience.

And specifically,

Let's begin by touching into the lived experience of the body.

And sometimes our days are so busy that we lose track of this experience of the body.

So like rekindling a relationship with an old friend,

Bring kind and gentle attention to the dynamic flow of sensation and feeling within the body.

And while feeling more deeply into the body,

If you notice there are parts of the body that feel tight or contracted,

Generously extend kindness to yourself through the invitation to relax and release with each out breath.

Giving yourself the opportunity to restore a sense of comfort and ease.

Breathing out,

Relaxing and releasing.

It Alaska.

A certain shape.

And along with unwinding in the body,

Give yourself a well deserved break from having to go from here to there.

And resting in the here and now.

And along with this relaxation.

And resting here in the present.

Sustain a quality of wakefulness.

And with wakeful awareness,

Extend this relaxation to the immaterial space of the mind.

Giving the mind a well deserved rest.

And even though there may be many activities that come and go within the space of the mind.

Explore what is it like to be at ease,

Letting these activities arise and pass without any gripping,

Without any resistance.

And in the natural presence of awareness.

So long.

And now to refine our awareness,

Becoming attuned with generosity,

And recognizing the culture of generosity that is really defined in our interdependence with one another,

The planet.

Open your awareness to an individual for whom you know who's inspired you,

The generosity that they've given through their material abundance.

And see if there's a particular person that comes to mind in this regard,

And if so,

Without tightening,

Hold them steadily in mind,

Either by way of a mental image or the felt sense of this person's presence.

And recognize the enactment of this person's generosity,

Acknowledging what they've given and the benefit that has arisen from this generosity.

With this acknowledgement,

You may naturally be drawn to arousing a sense of appreciation,

Thanks.

You can breathe out this appreciation,

Honoring the generosity,

Material abundance shared by another.

Now you're up.

And now continuing to expand this awareness and recognition of generosity.

Open your awareness now to another who shares the generosity of comfort,

Of kindness.

The generosity of soothing.

And as before,

If someone has arisen in this regard,

Hold them steadily in heart and mind.

And acknowledging their generosity of comfort.

The willingness to uplift others through kindness.

And again,

You may feel compelled to celebrate this person's generosity with appreciation.

Breathing out a sense of thanks,

Of gratitude.

And again,

You may feel compelled to celebrate this person's generosity with appreciation.

And finally,

Let's extend awareness out to someone who inspires us through the joy of the generosity of sharing their wisdom,

Their insight.

Those who may give wise counsel or advice to others.

You know,

There's the information they need to access a higher potential.

Consider someone who's dedicated to this way of generosity.

Recognizing all they give and the benefit.

Just come through this generosity again.

It feels natural celebrating this generosity with appreciation,

Breathing out delight.

And again,

You may feel compelled to celebrate this person's generosity with appreciation.

And finally,

In the same way we've acknowledged others and their generosity.

Bring this acknowledgement back to yourself.

And consider a recent act of your own generosity,

Whether it manifested through offering material abundance,

Comfort,

Or wisdom and insight.

And if something has arisen,

Be sure as we did for others to honor this act of generosity.

Acknowledging the benefit.

And celebrating the generosity that arose through your own body,

Speech,

Or mind.

And if this delight has arisen for you toward generosity,

For ending our practice,

Rest in that delight of generosity.

Observe what does that feel like in the body,

In the heart and mind.

Let's go ahead.

Let's bring our session to a close.