Exploring Playfulness Talk and Meditation

Explore playfulness in this talk and meditation by Flourish Foundation teacher Ryan Redman. Flourish Foundation is dedicated to inspiring systemic change through heartmind cultivation, promoting personal well-being, benevolent social action, and environmental stewardship.
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Transcript

But I don't feel equipped to guide that.

But it looks interesting and fun.

But I think,

You know,

On a more subtle level,

When we think of playfulness in general,

And probably many people think that like having a meditation practice and then exploring playfulness,

Maybe they contradict each other at some level.

And I've certainly seen that.

I remember actually on a retreat that Paige and I,

We were on maybe 22 years ago to be exact.

In Thailand,

There was a 10-day retreat that we attended with some Theravadan monks in Thailand and they're just notoriously disciplined.

But not necessarily not playful,

But very disciplined practitioners.

But the abbot of the monastery we were at,

And I'll just leave it anonymous,

He was really serious.

And we never saw him crack a smile.

And there was the last night,

I remember there was a question and answer session.

And one of the young whippersnappers from,

I think he was from the United States actually,

He asked,

You know,

I'm just curious,

Do you ever smile?

And he sat there like a wall of granite and nothing moved,

No facial expression,

Didn't even comment.

And we were like,

Whoa,

That's chilling.

And so one might get the impression if you've seen that or even just people meditating.

I know I have these,

These are like meditation scars on my forehead from so many years,

Especially when I was younger,

Just striving so hard,

You know,

Really like enlightenment or bust,

You know,

And like,

I have to meditate more and harder.

And I can say that I've really learned firsthand through my own experience that that's not sustainable.

It's exhausting.

And typically,

Just naturally as living beings,

I think animals are the same.

We were just walking our dog,

And you can even see in animals when they want to play,

They get down on really low,

They kind of crouch down or they wag their tails.

And there's this playfulness that flows through really all species.

I know that there's been documented cases from ornithologists of how birds play.

And the one classic video of a dog playing with a polar bear and cross species playing with each other.

So play is very much a part of our experience.

But it can feel sometimes maybe that it's a bit antithetical to the spiritual practice.

And I hope tonight,

We can shift our mindset a bit because I know for myself that,

As I was saying earlier,

That striving that pushing,

It can really turn our meditation practice into a chore.

I wouldn't say work because I know our work here is very playful.

You know,

We're always playing around with each other and talking in accents and all sorts of things,

Crazy things happening in here.

And I wouldn't say work is antithetical to play in that sense.

It can be.

But sometimes our spiritual practice can get like that and get really serious.

Like I'm working very hard to transform my mind and cultivate compassion and kindness.

And I really want to do this.

And it's in this backdrop of a precious human life that,

You know,

At any moment we could face death and impermanence.

So there's this strong sense of urgency.

And that's all,

It's all good.

But if it's not infused,

Especially with a quality of joy,

It can really leave us feeling empty and fatigued after a while.

And we can end up like that wall of granite,

Where it just,

You know,

Becomes very insular.

And I think probably a beautiful opposite expression of someone who totally embraces and embodies their spirituality and is like oozing with playfulness,

At least in the experiences that I've had in being around him.

And I've seen,

You know,

A number of talks is the Dalai Lama.

And it just seems like these incredible infectious bursts of play are always coming out.

And in fact,

That it's not only magnetizing for all the people,

But it really does seem like it's an important ingredient to his practice,

This joy,

This cultivation of joy.

So tonight,

I really want to explore that in our meditation.

And you know,

Without playfulness is interesting,

Because then it's easy to want to like contrive a playful experience.

And then that's not very playful at all.

It actually just feels like totally awkward.

So there has to be some level of spontaneity here.

And I think that really,

It aligns well with playfulness in the sense that playfulness is really,

It's a mindset that we bring to a situation.

Because I think there are certain situations that we can just see people respond completely differently to.

One person may get really stressed out and feel tight and tense,

Where another person might erupt in just spontaneous joy and laughter.

And so really,

It would be interesting then for ourselves and our practice to consider what inspires playfulness in me?

Where do I feel playful?

And more importantly,

Where would I like to become more playful?

And let that be a part of our reflection.

And perhaps that could manifest into some kind of intention.

And so it and again,

It feels a little bit dry,

Because that's so cognitive.

And so,

You know,

It'd be nice to think about also,

What's our approach when we come into our practice?

How do we position our body?

Can we start to maybe touch into this spark of playfulness or light heartedness and joy as we're coming into the practice and really set an intention to keep space for that,

To create room for that to manifest more effortlessly?

So that would be the hope.

And,

You know,

Even if we don't succeed,

It'd be kind of funny,

You know,

To think about like,

Yeah,

I went to a meditation and you know,

We're on playfulness and it actually was really kind of left feeling pretty uptight and kind of the opposite effect.

Well,

Then,

You know,

Looking back on that,

That might be kind of playful and fun to share with someone.

So regardless,

I think we'll succeed at some level,

Whether it's later on,

Or in the moment.

So that's all I really have to say about playfulness,

At least in this moment.

There's some wonderful connections,

Again,

Coming back to our spiritual practice.

And I said that was all I was going to say,

But I want to say one more thing.

And I made this connection the other day and I found it to be very meaningful.

But in the yoga tradition,

There's a beautiful teaching that describes what's called the five powers to really fuel your practice.

And one of them,

I think,

Really aligns closely with play.

And the Sanskrit word of one of these powers is it's called virya,

Which means people have translated as enthusiasm or joyful effort.

But it has this quality of creating a sense of goodness or virtue in the world,

Or creating a sense of goodness between two people or within ourselves,

But with a quality of joyfulness and lightheartedness.

So that really captures the spirit of this word virya.

And it turns out that it's one of these main kind of ingredients to keep our spiritual practice going.

And then also within the Buddhist tradition,

Very similar,

And they use the same term actually,

Virya.

And it comes up as one of what's called the six perfections.

And it said that,

Again,

We cultivate this by really taking delight and,

For lack of a better word,

Having fun creating goodness in the world.

And so it's kind of fun to think about that.

And how if we start to kind of shift our mindset to spend a day of thinking about like,

How could I actually have fun creating goodness and virtue in the world?

My sense is,

I know for myself,

It does bring forth this lightheartedness,

This playfulness in our experience.

And I'll give you an example.

Just this evening,

As I was,

Or before I came here,

I met with someone.

And I noticed as I was pulling up,

The whole parking lot was full.

So it was during working hours here,

Except there was one spot right in front.

And the person I was meeting with,

I know what kind of car they drive.

And so just as I was pulling in,

I stopped and I said,

Oh,

You know what would be really fun?

I'm going to leave Phil this parking spot.

And then I just went down the road.

You know,

And it was like,

No big deal.

It wasn't like,

You know,

I'm going to get out and make it like have a parade and,

You know,

Get streamers out and,

You know,

Get poppers and make a big deal.

But it was actually kind of fun,

You know,

And then I saw him pull in.

And it was like this sneaky little thing.

I was like,

Yeah,

He doesn't even know that I saved him that spot,

You know,

And it was just like,

It just kind of like tickled me from the inside.

So it doesn't have to be these like,

These really ostentatious displays of like,

Fun and playfulness,

But it can just be that kind of like,

In our compassionate leaders program,

We call it kind mischief,

It can just be that little bit of mischief to see,

You know,

How can I,

How can I welcome a little bit more goodness in this situation.

And so,

In that spirit,

Turn that in upon yourself,

As we go into the practice and,

And see,

You know,

Like,

Playfully,

How can you create a little bit more goodness for yourself as you come into this practice?

So it's not just the practice.

So at the end,

We say,

Oh,

How was that?

You know,

People,

It's like,

Kind of like a golf game,

You know,

Like,

Well,

Today,

It went pretty well,

But yesterday wasn't so good.

But can we actually not wait for like,

What the result of the practices,

But can we start with this quality of joyfulness and playfulness?

And if it feels like,

Gosh,

I don't even know what that means.

I feel like,

Like,

You know,

Playfulness could be like a muscle that it atrophies over time,

Then what better time to like,

Come into the weight room of playfulness and just see,

I don't even know what that means.

But I'm going to play with it.

What the hell?

You know,

Who cares?

And no one's you know,

No one's going to be sitting here like,

You know,

Paige was really playful,

But less,

She's got some work to do over there.

I can tell.

You know,

It's just in our own subjective experience.

So with that,

I invite you to find a comfortable position,

Whatever that means for your body.

And be a little mischievous about creating some goodness for yourself as you place your body in a comfortable position.

The eyes could be open or closed,

Whatever you prefer.

And a fun way to begin to set the stage for the embodiment of playfulness is to soften around the corners of your lips.

And allow that softening to extend into your cheeks.

And without exerting any big effort,

Can you establish a subtle grin?

One of the sticking points often for playfulness is being self-conscious or fearful of the prospect of embarrassment.

Like if everyone opened their eyes and all of a sudden I was the only one smiling,

What would that be like?

But again,

Who cares?

Finding yourself to welcome the physical expression of joy of playfulness.

And just that little movement in the lips may create a different feel in the mouth,

The throat.

And perhaps you can trace this feeling right into the center of the chest and to what we call the heart center.

And feeling the warmth of a grin or a smile.

And feeling the warmth of a grin or a smile.

And explore what would it be like to let this warmth fill the body like a warm breeze.

And if we find ourselves becoming very analytical overthinking,

We might feel that grin slowly disappearing.

In which case,

Return back to your felt sense.

And now for the sake of exploration and not needing to have a particular result.

Explore,

What would it be like to inhabit the body with greater relaxation?

Curiously looking into all the nooks and crannies of our muscle tissue.

Finding space for the warmth of joy to move into.

So,

The.

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And along with allowing this joyful relaxation to deepen,

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Happily giving yourself a break.

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Play with what is it like to step out of a role of productivity,

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And come home to the simplicity of being.

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And a wonderful element of playfulness is curiosity.

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And as we rest here doing nothing,

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Explore a fullness of curiosity.

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And as our curiosity grows,

We naturally become aware of a variety of sensations and thoughts and feelings.

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For now,

What is it like to observe them all without trying to get away from anything?

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Exploring the play of creativity in both the body and the mind.

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In this play of creativity,

Of sensation,

Thought and feeling,

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Give the mind a moment to rest.

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And can you look upon the breath?

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With that mindset of playfulness,

That anticipation,

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Experience of joy.

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