All About Being Compassionate

Do you know what it means to be compassionate? Let's explore a little bit how you can get a lot more out of yourself, starting with Guess Who? Yourself! Give yourself a little bit of time to listen to what I have to say about compassion and a little bit more for you to reflect after.

Transcript

This week,

We will talk about the act of being compassionate.

I am sure that if you are listening to this,

There is already compassion in your heart.

So I am keeping it simple.

In a way,

Intention is key here,

Because pretty much every single person has empathy,

So you only need to find it in your heart to be more compassionate.

I am sure you appreciate your most compassionate friends and loved ones.

Perhaps it is thanks to them that you want to develop your ability to be compassionate.

So what is compassion exactly and how does it compare with empathy?

To be clear,

Compassion is the capacity to perceive that someone is having a hard time and wanting to take action on aiding the person in any way possible.

Here you will have both an intellectual understanding of what is going on as well as some empathetic understanding.

However,

Empathy on its own is the capacity to feel the same feelings that other people have.

Indeed,

Empathy normally leads to compassion,

But this is the main difference.

For example,

It is a very snowy day and you see someone pushing their car because it will not start.

If you are compassionate,

You will pull over – if you have time – and offer them your help,

So they can at least get their car started.

You might do this from compassion alone,

Even if you don't feel sorry for the person.

You may start to feel as bad as the person trying to start their car – empathy – but you might still not be willing to help them for whatever reason.

You can see the difference between empathy and compassion now.

Normally,

Because of empathy alone,

You will already find the desire to help someone who is going through a hard time.

But you will start to be compassionate in the moment that you take physical action to help.

When you are compassionate,

You will feel a lot better with yourself.

I have a lot to say,

And I want to say it is addicting to receive grateful comments from people after helping them,

As well as seeing them happier and better.

These positive energies would improve your well-being since you are adding positive vibrations to your life and also thanks to the principle of vibration and rhythm.

Not only this,

But also other people will project good intentions on you because even when they don't ask for help,

They are likely to accept it with open arms if you offer it anyway.

A great way to strengthen your compassionate approach to life is to start working on your empathic skills.

Only through them,

You will find it in your heart wanting to help others more.

One simple way is starting to look other people in their eyes,

Because this way,

You will activate the basic empathy that every human being has.

Another one is to put yourself in their shoes intellectually.

What if you are stuck with a frozen car and late for work?

Only with the two above,

You will already find it's a good idea to help that person,

And you will find it in your heart to do it especially if you can help them in any way.

If you are observant and pay attention to what's happening,

You will see they need help regardless of not asking for it,

Or even rejecting any offer.

Here,

You must accept if a person doesn't want help,

And not feel bad with yourself because of their rejection.

It is here that you take the next step about being compassionate and starting to be with yourself.

So why self-compassion is essential?

The first step is to work on self-compassion because you need to care for yourself first to be able to care for others.

If you are not well,

How can you make others well?

So the first step is to work on self-compassion,

And here you need to pay more attention to your needs.

Perhaps you are a strong person,

And you are the I-can-do-it type,

Which is fantastic,

But you need to add,

I can take care of my needs too,

And this already will start motion for you to be kinder to yourself.

You may be already super kind and compassionate for others,

But you may not be with yourself,

And this is not good.

You can't end up falling into what's called compassion burnout,

Where you will feel weaker,

Drained,

And discouraged to continue being nice.

This will affect negatively your empathy and your heart chakra,

Bringing more cynicism and negative ego in your consciousness.

And you certainly don't want this.

So allow me to give you some simple steps to help your self-caring.

Self-kindness.

Do you know what the word kind means?

Please have the meaning straight from your understanding,

If you don't.

And look it up,

Even.

You need to think more about your needs,

And it's not bad to do this.

You will not turn into a zenner,

Selfish person.

And don't worry,

If you are kind to others,

You know how to be kind to yourself.

Don't overdo things,

Don't set up goals that are too aggressive,

And remember to treat yourself now and then.

Mindfulness.

This is another important step for you to be mindful of everything that you do.

For example,

Mindful eating.

Mindfulness needs to be part of your life,

Because only this way you bring compassionate actions to others and yourself.

You need to start learning more about mindfulness,

And start applying at least a little change at a time.

Because once you do,

You start with the next change,

And then the next one,

And then the next one,

Until you have developed a greater relationship with yourself.

This one is imperative,

And maybe you are reading or listening to this,

And you are already avoiding thinking about this.

Unfortunately,

Society teaches us to function like robots,

Following trends,

Directives,

And other people that mean nothing,

And not having time to even know our desires.

Are you uncomfortable to be in your mind?

I understand you,

But I also feel very sad for you if this is true.

You must start to listen to what your consciousness has to tell you.

Invest 10 or 15 minutes a day in quietly silent introspection.

It greatly pays off.

And don't think that self-compassion is connected with self-pity or self-indulgence.

This is not true.

What is true is that it's about acknowledging our pains,

And offering the same self-care that you would administer to others.

It is not good to be selfish,

But you cannot be like 100% selfless.

And you need some caring too,

Starting from yours.

Being self-compassionate is not being selfish,

Because you need to have some quality self-caring.

Drop the whole I am weaker subject if you thought about it with self-compassion.

Don't be ridiculous.

And then how to be more compassionate with yourself and others.

So in addition to the above,

You can also check how to be more compassionate with others and yourself.

So I am giving you some quick examples.

Writing a letter.

You can write a letter to someone or yourself,

To open in some time from today,

Where you praise for what you are grateful for,

Focus on the beautiful things that you know are true about the other person or yourself,

And tell as clearly as you can.

Self-compassion breaks.

You need to keep something in mind.

Perpetuity doesn't exist.

It goes against the laws of physics.

Maybe you are thinking,

That only applies to energy.

You are correct,

But let me answer with this.

Everything including you is energy in different forms.

So even a thought or action is bound to the laws of physics.

You need to take a break now and then and recharge yourself.

Sometimes you should take a break from being constantly available to everybody.

Become your friend.

You need to be friends with other people,

With your partner and even with yourself.

You need to be happy in your own mind space,

And physically you want to enjoy your own company as well.

Don't mind enjoying some time on your own,

Perhaps when the other people around you are busy with their stuff.

You need to love yourself and to enjoy you.

You are unique with wonderful traits.

You only need to open your eyes,

See them and love yourself.

The Reign of Self-Compassion Meditation.

The acronym REIGN stands for R for Recognize what's going on.

You only need to understand what's happening,

How you are feeling and what you feel.

A to allow the experience to be there.

Yes as is.

You need to let recognition flow without trying to change things,

Avoiding self-judgment.

I for Investigate with interest and care.

Get to learn more about what's going on,

Without judging,

But with an open heart to learn more.

And N for Nurture with self-compassion.

Knowing everything,

Now you need to take some action and start doing what helps the most here.

Exercises to rewire the brain for resilience are great.

You can check an article where I talk about this.

I feel that it matters that little by little you will be more resilient by investing time in yourself thanks to self-compassion.

And then Love and Kindness Meditations.

Investing time in meditation for self-care is a wonderful gift that you can give to yourself.

Any meditation is wonderful,

But these especially are super helpful.

From here you will slowly be growing into feeling more compassionate towards others and yourself.

Don't forget to always take good care of yourself.

If you do,

You will be able to project your compassionate actions to as many people as you want.

I suggest that you include this in your daily routine.

They will significantly pay off.

Mindful Communication and Compassionate Listening.

To wrap up,

I want to share with you how important it is for you to speak up.

This applies when other people,

Especially the ones closest to you,

Are attempting to be compassionate and help you.

You push them out of your field because you can do it,

Right?

Wrong.

You are not better,

Not better.

Nor you are helping others by not allowing them to help you.

I would say that you are not that compassionate because you are willing to hurt others just because you believe you don't need their help.

If you want to help others and not hurt them,

Allow them to help you when they see it's necessary.

Trust me,

You will appreciate it too because regardless of how compassionate and helpful you are,

You are a human being too.

Don't allow your ego to cloud your reasoning.

So make sure to keep healthy and to keep a proper communication.

Don't hold everything in.

You are only hurting yourself and others.

Keep it up.

A little bit every day and you will see that everything turns out to be more positive.

Lots of light.