Start by taking a moment to settle and relax before you begin.
Find a comfortable sitting position and listen to what the body needs,
Shifting position to be comfortable and balanced if necessary.
Begin by bringing attention to the body in relation to the space it is in,
Sensing the room and any objects around you.
Now shift the attention to the entire body as it sits here.
Move the attention to the breathing process in the whole body,
Breathing naturally and leaving the breath to find its own rhythm.
And now come back to the sensation of the entire body.
Bring to mind your reasons for doing this exploration on forgiveness.
What's motivating and inspiring you to engage with this process of inner development?
And finally,
Wish yourself success in this process.
This exploration is to help you understand why forgiveness is important and explore how you might put that into action.
It will also encourage you to question your life and open up to possibilities of change and fulfillment,
Helping you build a picture of what your potential might be,
What may be helping you develop your potential and what may be limiting you at the moment.
Forgiveness means letting go of clinging to past hurts and the associated disturbing thoughts and feelings.
As a result,
Beneficial thoughts and feelings can arise and be expressed.
There are many benefits to forgiveness.
One is inner peace,
Freedom from ruminating on disturbing thoughts and emotions and freeing yourself from the burden and consequences of holding a grudge or resentment.
The key to inner peace is letting go,
And forgetting is one way of letting go of simpler issues as there are no disturbing attitudes afterwards.
Forgiveness also allows you to open up and expand your thought-action repertoire,
In other words,
What you are able to think and do in a situation.
Social peace is another benefit.
Care and consideration for others can be re-established and relationships can be restored,
And at best reconciliation might be achieved.
Forgiveness can help with guilt relief.
The person who is forgiven can let go of guilt,
And you,
As the person who is forgiving,
Can let go of grudges,
And you can both reach inner peace and move on and develop.
By forgiving you minimise the potential for escalation and the damage that may be caused to yourself and others,
And forgiveness also helps you understand your motives.
Practising forgiveness is one of the keys to leading a meaningful life,
Based on empathic valuing of your own and others' welfare and wellbeing.
Studies indicate that forgiveness is also strongly associated with positive mental and physical health.
It's important to recognise,
However,
That forgiveness can be difficult.
You probably see other people in yourself as unchanging,
Due to your deep-rooted tendency to superimpose a sense of permanence on how you view and experience yourself,
Others,
Things and events.
For example,
Once a thief,
Always a thief.
Until you recognise this possibility for change,
You cannot move on.
The main method for forgiveness is differentiating the person from their act.
For example,
He is a liar,
Can become he is a person who,
In this situation,
Did not tell the truth.
It's also important to differentiate the person from their emotion.
A common example is seeing yourself as I am angry,
Rather than I am someone who is experiencing anger at the moment.
Seeing these two distinctions,
Not seeing the person wholly as their act or wholly their emotion,
Opens up other possibilities of how you might react or behave.
Forgiveness is a process that takes time and cannot be rushed.
If the process is done too quickly,
Deeper emotions may arise again for both you and the other person at a later date.
And the process may not be a simple one,
And you may go back and forth before you progress.
You need to let go of any expectations on behalf of the other person.
For example,
You might want the relationship back,
Or for them to admit fault,
But you cannot make this happen.
The process may also be painful,
Not just for others,
But also for yourself,
Being faced with your own shortcomings and faults.
And it's important to also consider you may need to forgive yourself as well as forgiving others.
And whilst forgiveness may not be easy,
Remind yourself it can really help to restore your inner peace and can allow you to move on and develop.
So start by recalling a person you would like to forgive.
Or perhaps it's a person's habits or a type of personality that needs forgiving.
Choose a person or a situation that you feel safe working with right now.
If you're having difficulty coming up with an idea,
Maybe choose a person involved in a current event or the wider world.
So be clear,
Who are you thinking of forgiving and what for?
What does it feel like when you think about the situation?
Why are you considering forgiving this person?
Why do you think this person acted in this way towards you?
Is there anything else?
Can you think of anything in their life,
Health,
Family or work for example,
Which may have affected them at this time?
Could there have been anything else?
What might their motive have been at the time?
Is this usual behaviour for this person?
Could others close to them recognise this behaviour in them?
Have you ever done anything similar?
What's stopping you from forgiving them?
If you were to forgive them,
What would help you do this?
What will happen to you and the other person if you choose not to forgive them?
What will happen to you and the other person if you do forgive them?
And if you do forgive them,
How will you know if you've truly moved on or if it's merely superficial?
Would you talk to the person about this and help them understand the reasons why you are forgiving them?
How do you feel now?
Does it feel different to when you usually think about this situation?
How fixed a view did you have of the person who had wronged you?
Were you able to separate the person from their act?
In other words,
They are not their action.
How fixed a view did you have of yourself as the victim?
Were you able to separate yourself from the emotions?
In other words,
You are not your emotions.
Were you able to open up your view and understanding at all during the exercise?
This may not have been possible at this time,
But if you were able to,
What enabled you to do this?
Or if you weren't,
What do you think might have been preventing you at this stage?
What did you uncover or learn about yourself,
The situation or the other person?
And finally,
How did this widening of your perspective help?
Or how could it help in the future if not right now?
And remember,
We are using the image of the spiral to show how certain personal qualities build on and reinforce each other in an upward spiral towards positive potential,
A positive reinforcement spiral.
Likewise,
Certain personal qualities also build on and reinforce each other in a downward spiral,
A negative reinforcement spiral.
So using your learning from the previous exploration on forgiveness,
Simply note whether you are experiencing forgiveness,
May be helping you develop towards the top of the spiral,
Or if they may be limiting you towards the bottom.
Finally,
Taking a moment to reconnect with your posture,
Rebalancing,
Relaxing and gently releasing any tension if necessary.
Becoming aware of the body breathing.
So taking a moment to recall your motivation for doing this exploration.
Bring to mind what you have experienced and learned in this exploration.
Have you discovered anything about yourself?
Have you begun to cultivate any helpful qualities or overcome or let go of any unhelpful qualities?
And how might this process be beneficial and meaningful and contribute to the welfare and well-being of yourself and others,
Your family,
Friends and those close to you,
Or those who inspire and nurture your positive development,
And all living beings and the environment they rely on?
And as this exploration ends,
Try to carry this with you wherever you go,
By recollecting it occasionally.
