Meeting Insecurities With Kindness

We all feel insecure from time to time. I offer you insights and guidance into how to meet your insecurities with kindness and build resilience. This increases your capacity to live openly, freely, and courageously in daily life. I talk a lot about the philosophy of insecurity in this episode but what's not mentioned is the insecurity that can arise from chronic physical and mental symptoms - after years I finally was told about Medical Medium and have been following his protocols to heal a whole host of mental and physical symptoms over the years. Healing neurological and mental symptoms has nearly rid me of all my insecurity. I send you love and light and highly recommend his free content online and his books. I used Cleanse To Heal to heal and continue with the lifestyle.

Transcript

Hey,

I'm Laura and this is my podcast,

Eye of the Wheel.

Everything I know to be true,

All the inner strength I've gained over the years has come to me through observing my life through my own inner eye.

We are all riding a wheel of repeating daily experiences,

But have we connected to our still inner eye who simply observes and is free from it all?

When we settle back into being the eyes of the wheel,

We know ourselves as a powerful center and creator of our own lives.

This is how I see you.

You are full of infinite possibilities.

Allow my insights to guide you towards empowerment,

Clarity and courage.

Thank you for listening.

All right,

So welcome into this chat on insecurities.

I am sending you so much of my heart and my love to start because this is a very gentle place within all of us and we all have this feeling of insecurity and sometimes it can become crippling or overwhelming.

So I thank you so much for arriving in this space and allow yourself to take what resonates with you from this talk.

So insecure,

You're feeling not secure within your body.

You're not feeling secure,

Which means you're not feeling safe,

Which means there is a fear there,

Right?

And then that can start to affect you.

Okay,

Now you're getting overwhelmed by it.

All right,

So I'm going to talk a little bit about the deeper kind of philosophies or understandings that I have with this space and what has helped me with spirituality and also with kind of having this dance of insecurity that comes up in life.

So one of the first things that I truly practice and believe in,

Which is sometimes counter to what we hear,

We have to tap in and see what resonates with you,

But is this idea that if you feel insecure about something and you feel like it's really like you can't move forward at all,

Like your nervous system is like locking up or your mind's like spinning a lot and you just start to feel really,

Really disconnected from yourself.

I personally do not believe it helps to push past that feeling.

So to try and like shove it down or imagine it's not there or like just like try harder.

I find that this insecurity is an energy that is craving and nurturing attention and love to feel safe and to feel like it can be connected to the situation it's feeling insecure about or the people it's feeling insecure with in a loving way.

And if we try to ignore or press down this feeling and try and push past it,

Sometimes that can cause more agitation,

More judgment and more expectations of self and make it even harder on yourself.

So the first step as it comes to anything that's arising within the inner experience,

You know,

Emotions,

Thoughts,

Insecurities,

The first thing to do is practicing that state of equanimity.

So simply addressing it and acknowledging it for what it is.

So simply saying,

Okay,

The insecurity is here and then catching yourself if you're starting to add to that to the layers of I don't want this to be here,

This shouldn't be here,

I'm lesser than because this is here,

I'm not worthy because this is here,

This is stressful because this is here,

I just want this feeling to go away.

Like all of those layers add so much depth that really energize the insecurity.

This is where the practice of mindfulness and meditation really helps because you're able to catch yourself sooner in that kind of mental spin that can go on when you end up in a state of resistance to your current experience.

So your current experience being insecurity,

Allow yourself to acknowledge it for what it is.

That's the first thing and to not push it away and not reject it and not and understand that you're not lesser than or not worthy or not capable or not,

You know,

Worthy of your dreams or anything because of it because that's completely not true.

It's integrated into it,

It's a part of our experience.

So softening at the edge is something that I invite you to think about.

So softening at your edge of insecurity.

So when insecurity arises,

This is,

You know,

You can pop into the chat as I talk and if you want me to speak to specific situations but I'm taking this in a broad way right now which so I'll do my best but in a broad sense,

Usually the reason you're feeling insecure is there's something that's within you that is not being met.

Like it's a need that's not being met.

Whether it's a need of,

You know,

Acceptance or connection or it's a physical need.

Like maybe it's even like something to do with your health or your well-being.

This can really add to it.

So I want you to understand and to watch your experiences too over the next like,

You know,

Days and when you do do something that you feel insecure about,

Watch yourself around it.

Watch,

You know,

How you're taking care of your body and yourself because I find within myself and in general when you aren't sleeping as well,

When you're not,

You know,

Eating food that's nourishing your body or you're taking in content that's really overwhelming for your system or you're,

You know,

It's or you're not like,

You know,

Being discerning with the energy you're taking in with relationships,

You know,

There's a lot of different layers.

Like all of these things increase your insecurity.

You feel more insecure when your physical body is not feeling strong.

That can add to it.

Also the sleep and also your food intake and also the energy and the relationships and things that you're around.

So it's very important to feel strong within yourself to take care of these aspects and to be mindful with them and to understand that if you're starting to feel insecure,

It's simply the yearning from your heart and your body being like,

Pay attention to me.

I need something.

Please don't distract yourself or please don't,

You know,

Try and push past this to force yourself in some situation.

Like I offer you a softening.

You know,

If you're feeling this way to take some time away from electronics or have soothing music or spend time in nature,

Really breathe into your body and allow yourself to regain that strength,

Right?

Because the strength comes from that feeling of safety and connection,

Which is leading into my next point about insecurity.

So if you come into,

If you're feeling insecure,

Usually almost all the time,

I'm guessing there is some sort of hierarchy within the mind.

So you're thinking that like,

Oh,

I am lesser than other people or have to prove myself to other people or who I am in this moment is not enough.

Because if you felt like who you were in this moment was a hundred percent enough and you felt really connected to everybody,

You probably wouldn't be feeling insecure.

So there's something there that's like in your mind,

You've created an idea or you've bought into a belief that you are lesser than or you have to prove yourself out of something that's in your natural alignment to be successful or to,

To,

You know,

Get the love that you need or something.

Right?

So this kind of links in with the confidence piece.

Okay.

So,

And with the confidence piece,

I also have the same sort of belief system or ideas around it is it's not in my experience of a process of like just getting all jacked up and pushing yourself through it and convincing yourself that it's going to,

You know,

Be okay if you don't feel that way.

So what really helps with this when it comes into spirituality and you start to meditate and sink back into,

You know,

This deeper experience is where true confidence really comes from,

Like true confidence comes from and the lack of insecurity that like the feeling of safety.

Right.

It comes from knowing like not believing in your head,

But knowing and feeling that you are on the same equal level as everybody else.

Thanks for the hearts loves.

As everybody else in the room,

As everybody around you,

As the thing that you're insecure about,

Understanding that there is no hierarchy there.

The hierarchy that the mind creates is what births insecurity.

It's the,

You know,

It's the illusion or the false idea that,

You know,

Like you're looking at a garden and you're like,

Oh,

This flower is so much better than this flower,

But the garden wouldn't look like it does.

It wouldn't be as beautiful as it is if it didn't have every single different color of flower and every single different expression.

It's this dance of uniqueness that creates the beauty.

Right.

And that's the same thing with our world.

So what is here is a deep lifelong practice of allowing yourself.

I don't know if it's going to take your whole life,

You know,

But it's a practice of allowing yourself to through your own acknowledgement and sitting with yourself and learning how to receive love,

Which is like all of our practices.

I know this is a big practice in my life right now.

It's like learning that I'm deserving of love,

You know,

That like I'm enough for love.

Right.

And allowing that to come in so you can feel that you are enough in your uniqueness and in your,

In your unique expression.

And that doesn't mean that you're better than anybody else.

And it doesn't mean that you're under anybody else.

So in my experience,

As I've like over the years,

You know,

Had the insecurities of like teaching workshops or like I've been teaching,

You know,

Yoga for several years,

Like these things I found that,

You know,

Really like trying to force myself doesn't work.

It's literally an experience of coming into your heart and into your body because you through this practice of connecting to yourself and through meditation,

Especially over the years,

Your awareness starts to increase.

You'll start to really feel in your being that there is a multi-dimensional multi-dimensionality to your being.

So what I mean by that is like one dimension of your experience,

Only one of it is your mind,

Right?

And your mind works in polarities.

It works in dualities.

Like that's how it functions.

So it can make sense of the world and you can function as you do.

So it automatically takes that into areas where it's not actually helpful,

Such as,

You know,

Feeling insecure about something because then it's creating a hierarchy.

It's creating good or bad.

It's creating,

You know,

This like you need to be this way or that way or that person's doing it better.

And I'm not in like,

Oh,

And I'm not enough and this and that and that whole like,

You know,

Anything that creates separation,

Right?

Because that separation is like saying that like there's a hierarchy or I'm below or I'm better than or all these things or that insecurity,

That separation that's created from the mind,

Which it has to create separation.

Otherwise we can't have this worldly experience.

So you have to understand and knowledge it for its place,

Love it for its place,

But understand that when it comes into doing things in your lives,

It can,

It will create insecurity all the time because it will be enhancing separation and looking for,

You know,

This,

It'll just create anxiety.

Right?

So this is what I've been practicing and what I do when it comes to insecurities,

When it comes to the rising,

When I'm like doing something is I literally don't even play at the dimension of my mind.

Like I don't even play at that dimension.

Like I just literally let it be what it wants to be.

Like if it wants to feel insecure,

If it wants to have these thoughts or,

You know,

Like that's okay.

I simply shift my awareness into my breath and to my body because your heart is connected to the space of unity through the energetic field.

And this is not something that like you can think your way into,

You can believe your way into or like anything like that.

You can just feel it.

And when you feel it,

You start to feel this sense of safety within your body.

And then when you go forward and do the things that you may feel insecure about doing,

You cut,

You're able to show up to it from this place that's like a,

It's more of like a dance because you're like,

Oh,

I'm just this unique expression coming through as I am.

And I see everybody as equals to me.

And for example,

For me,

Like running a workshop or something,

I'm like,

I walk in thinking I'm going to learn just as much from the people that are sitting in the room as they're going to learn from whatever I'm about to teach.

So it's this two way,

Like,

Equanimous equal exchange of energy.

And it's like simply just a dance between,

You know,

You know,

Different people.

And yes,

This person's talking and these people are listening now and it will shift,

But it's like allowing yourself to understand that there is no true,

Like level of better than or worse than that exists.

Like it only exists within the mental space,

But it's almost like it's being used that way,

Not in a helpful way.

So it's just like understanding that,

Okay,

That's how the mind functions,

But that's understanding that you're free of that.

Like that's only one dimension of your being that you're aware of.

You're also aware of your breath.

You're also aware of your belly.

You're also aware of your heart.

You're also aware of,

You know,

The eyes that you're looking into in somebody else.

So when you stare at them long enough,

It's really hard for you to think,

Oh,

Like,

You know,

Get in the head about all these things.

So the breath that we did at the beginning of practice or not practice,

But this talk,

Like when we were breathing into our lower belly,

That's one of the quickest and most profound ways to create safety is to breathe into your lower belly,

Like really into like below your belly button.

Right?

And what that does is establishes a sense of safety in your nervous system.

And when you feel this way,

It will be the quickest way to release insecurities.

I'm honestly offering you to not play at the level of the mind,

Not play at the dimension.

Just let it be,

Let it have the thoughts it wants.

Let it just be,

Oh,

There it is.

You know,

Like I mentioned at the beginning,

Just noticing it and then allowing yourself to remember that there is another level of your being that knows that this is a dance and this is play and you showing up is just simply another way for you to learn and work on yourself.

Right?

And so when you come into breathing to the heart space,

You can get a glimpse or even a small feeling of like,

Oh,

We're in this together and we're all on the same level.

And when you're there,

True confidence arises.

True confidence arises because it's not forced.

It's not even believed your way into.

It's just a feeling.

You're like,

Oh yeah,

These are my fellow humans,

My brothers and sisters,

And we're just in it together.

And then that feeling of safety,

You can feel it,

That relaxation through your nervous system,

That dissolves in security.

Right?

And if it's there,

It'll dissolve like as you start to do the finger insecure about because you'll start to,

It'll dissolve because the mind doesn't,

The mind doesn't have a very strong energy.

It can easily be overridden by the heart space.

So it's just about remembering that and coming back into your belly.

Okay.

And then when you come into that place,

When you're in that place where you are feeling like really connected to people and you're feeling,

You know,

The equanimous equality of natural confidence and peer expression and the dance of life,

You're in this state of like,

This moment is enough.

This moment is enough.

Right?

Like that is the same experience that comes with it.

And when you get that feeling that this moment is enough,

You're not,

You're no longer grabbing or clinging or attaching to certain outcomes that you're,

Because that can increase insecurity.

If you're trying to control an outcome or make sure something goes the way that you want it to,

That creates insecurity.

And I believe it probably does because the mind knows on a deep level that it can't actually do that.

Like it can't actually control an outcome as much as it wants to try.

That's up to a higher energetic,

Right?

So it knows it's out of its playing field and that's probably what causes so much agitation.

So just allow,

You know,

Recognize it,

Be like,

Okay,

Cool.

But it probably won't even arise if you're already resting in the other dimension of your being,

Your heart and in that space of relaxing into your nervous system.

Because then if you feel whole,

If you feel good,

Right,

Then you're not,

You don't need anything from the experience.

You don't need,

You don't need it to go a certain way for you to feel okay,

Right?

If you're relying on,

If you're relying on an outcome to go a certain way so you can feel safe in your body for a moment,

That's where a lot of insecurity arises.

Because now you're feeling like a sense of lack and disconnection.

You're feeling the hierarchy,

You're feeling the pulls and the polarities deeply within the mind space.

And then you are unable to feel full in this present moment and you start relying deeply on the outcome.

And so then you get really insecure because you're trying to force yourself out of your authentic alignment from a place you already don't feel safe in.

And the whole thing just becomes a show,

Right?

And then you don't feel like you're actually showing up as yourself and you start to feel off about that and other people's nervous systems are picking up on that.

And then your feeling of feeling lesser than is increasing separation between you and the other people.

And then it just starts to build.

And if that happens,

That's okay,

Right?

You're just recognizing it.

You're like,

Okay,

This is what's happening.

Can I come back into my heart space?

Because we're in this fluctuation of life all the time.

Okay?

So when you can come back into that space of like,

This moment is enough.

If you feel like this moment is enough and you feel safe in your body and you feel equality to everyone around you in the world,

Insecurity doesn't exist.

Like there's no space for it there.

How can you feel insecure when you see yourself and everybody around you?

When you're so humbled by the earth that you're a part of and when you feel completely relaxed and safe in your nervous system.

When you feel that way,

Insecurity is not even on the playing field.

And when you feel that way,

Then you're able to do difficult or more challenging things because it becomes play.

It becomes a dance.

You don't need to do it.

You're just choosing to do it.

You just want to do it because why not?

Because there's that authentic,

Pure desire because you're here on this earth to learn and to do new experiences,

You know?

So to understand that that potential is already in you.

It's already there.

It's sitting there.

I'm sure you've connected to it at some point in your life.

And if you haven't,

Just know that the potential is there.

Hold the potential for it.

And understand that if you're starting to feel unsafe within your body or tense or agitated within the mind,

You're feeling insecure.

Your body's feeling unsafe.

It's feeling threatened.

You know,

Whether it's by your own thought or by,

You know,

Your feeling of deep separation or lack,

That's where it's coming from.

So the number one thing you need is compassion for yourself,

Not another layer of judgment on top of the lack and insecurity and feeling of separation.

That will spiral you deep.

And I've been there.

I've been there.

Okay?

So I hear you.

Do you experience that?

Just recognize,

Okay,

I feel insecure.

I feel not secure in my body.

Okay.

What do I need?

Do I need to focus more on my sleep?

Do I need to get,

Do I need to eat better?

Do I need to spend more time in nature?

The energy of nature in our true home,

I believe,

Which is in the earth,

Like with the trees,

You wouldn't believe how much strength that gives me.

I feel myself getting stronger just sitting in the trees for 20 minutes,

Like so much stronger and so much less insecure.

I truly believe a lot of the insecurity arises from being in these indoor boxes we've created,

Which sometimes you need to be there because I live in Canada.

It's minus 30 outside in the winter.

You're not going to be out there.

But if you're blessed to live in a place that you don't have to be inside all year long,

Get out with Mother Earth because she is your mother.

She wants to hold you.

You are her.

It is one.

It is unity.

And your field will pick up on it and just feel stronger.

Just doing nothing.

Just being out there with her.

Okay?

So that creates vulnerability and insecurity too,

Is being disconnected from her.

And that arises as insecurity too because you feel the separation in your system and that separation floods out into other people.

Everything starts to create this cycle.

So yeah,

So I'll wrap it up by bringing it together here that like,

If you're feeling insecure,

The number one question is,

What do I need?

And the next question is,

How am I going to get that need met?

The first question is,

What do I need to feel love in my body,

To feel healthy and to feel okay?

And the second one is,

How am I going to give that to myself or,

You know,

Ask for it in a very humble way from people that are in your life?

You know,

It's not about manipulating people to get your needs met.

It's about just recognizing what you need,

Really taking care of your physical well-being,

Really taking care of your mind space,

What energy you're allowing in,

Who you're allowing to narrate the thoughts in your mind,

Which comes from everything that you experience in your day.

It ends up in your system,

Right?

Paying attention to these things.

And then if you're getting really caught in the mind space,

Equanimity.

Okay.

Ah,

So there it is.

There it is.

I see you.

I see why you're here.

I get it.

You know,

And then relaxing into the heart space,

Breathing into your lower belly,

Coming into security in your body,

Breathing,

Shifting away from,

You know,

Electronics,

Getting into earth,

You know,

And then starting to feel from that space.

Oh,

Yeah.

We're on one level here.

I don't have,

I don't have anything to prove to anybody.

They have nothing to prove to me.

I have no expectations of myself.

I have no expectations of other people.

I am showing up in this moment through play,

Through what feels right,

You know,

Through this dance.

And that's it.

And if it's better,

You know,

Good outcomes.

Yay.

And if it's not,

That's okay.

I'm paying attention to the process.

The process is where I have all my power.

It's in the how,

Not in the outcome or not even in what you're doing.

It's how you're doing it.

And coming to that place from establishing safety within the body,

Paying attention to what you need,

Taking really good care of yourself first and foremost,

Your fundamental relationship.

And then seeing everyone as equal and then allowing yourself to come into this place of abundance,

Which comes from the energy of the heart space,

Not from the mind.

Don't convince yourself into anything I'm saying.

This all happens through action and breath and connection to yourself.

It's deeply experiential.

Okay.

And then you're like,

Oh,

This is enough.

Okay.

I claim it.

I want this to be fun.

This is going to work.

This is going to be good.

Only speak what you want.

Only ever speak what you want.

Never speak what you don't want because it will come to you because you're energizing it.

Right?

So you're feeling insecure about something.

When I start to feel like something gets hard,

My mantra has been this very simple,

Very direct voice in my head that I repeat to myself.

Of course you can.

Of course you can.

Of course you can.

Of course you can.

Of course you can.

Of course you can.

You feel the energy shifting,

Right?

So your ability to catch yourself sooner when this starts to arise comes from my experience,

A daily meditation practice connecting to expanding your awareness.

Because it's simpler when it first starts to come instead of trying to get it clean up after like an hour or two hours of sitting in it.

It's a practice.

It's a part of the experience,

Part of our lessons.

And I truly send you so much love.

And I really,

Really,

Really want you to know that I see every single one of you on this call as equal to me.

And I felt insecurity before I came up and talked about insecurity,

You know?

And I just acknowledged it.

And I was like,

That's okay.

That's okay that that's there.

That's okay.

I trust that this outline I wrote is going to come through and I'm going to say something that's going to help people and that's enough.

You know?

And at the same time,

It's helping me,

Right?

Like I'm here working on myself at the same time.

And you guys are here.

So bless.

I'm going to say something that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going

Reviews

Profound insights. Such a light you are, Laura ♥️♥️♥️

Thank you for your guide. I will try not the mind struggle but the sinking into the belly to let go.

This was amazing, thank you! I really enjoyed the authenticity and vulnerable honesty about your own experience with insecurity and being in that spiraling headspace from time to time, the talk resonated with me so much after that share. This topic is one I continually cycle back to time and time again, whether to reaffirm the work I am doing on myself or to soften the edges after a difficult experience (still learning!). Thank you again for sharing your time, experience, and wisdom! 🙏

Great support ideas for me to use in stressful situations. Thank you!