Inner Conflict Fatigue - The Wanderer Ep 4

Inner conflict occurs when a person faces a struggle between opposing desires, beliefs, or emotions, often leading to feelings of confusion and stress. This internal battle can arise when an individual is torn between what they want and what they feel is right, such as in moral dilemmas or life decisions. It can manifest as self-doubt, guilt, or anxiety as one tries to reconcile competing values or goals.

Inner conflict can be a catalyst for personal growth, as it forces individuals to reflect on their priorities and make choices that align with their true selves. However, unresolved inner conflict can lead to prolonged mental tension, impacting overall well-being and decision-making.

Transcript

Crossroads drain like crazy.

Inner conflict drains like crazy.

Suppression of what you want to do and then you make yourself not do it drains your energy.

More than if you did it,

Realize that it was a mistake,

And then reroute it.

Why is it better?

Because you're moving.

Because the story moves forward.

Because you felt momentum release.

You went left instead of staying at the crossroads.

The more you stay at the crossroads,

The more different options your mind is going to conjure.

The more different options,

The more tabs are open in your mental space.

The more tabs are open in your mental space,

The more bandwidth of your energy takes.

The mind sucks up the most oxygen of anything in the body because everything is a big mind.

Everything is a big brain.

We think with everything.

When we suppress,

If you want to go left and you stand at the crossroads,

Should I go left or right?

Or should I go left or right?

Make the decision as soon as you can or drop it for now because this crossroad resistance is draining you incredibly.

Choose to go right again.

Choose comfort.

Go under the blanket or get out of the blanket and choose the other thing and shake with fear.

Both cases move you.

Both cases release energy and stagnant energy and stuck energy is the worst because you're pushing what you want and resisting at the same time.

It's like holding a breath and pushing a boulder up a hill.

It's better to either release the boulder or breathe through it and sweat and,

Oh my God,

And swear and go through it.

Make the decision to flow.

You can always go back.

Okay,

In extreme cases,

You can go back and then it's a full-on decision and then take more time.

However,

Make the decision and I would say you can always go back.

At certain points,

It's going to be way harder but you can go back.

Then we come to the point of multitasking.

This is splitting your consciousness.

It is also draining.

It is one breath invested in one thing and the other in the other because most likely,

The two things you're multitasking require different things from you and require different speeds from you.

Talking and washing dishes.

Talking and listening to a podcast.

Okay,

Yeah,

Talking and listening to a podcast,

That's definitely wrong but washing dishes,

Listening to a podcast,

All right.

However,

See if multitasking is ripping you apart.

For me,

It's ripping me apart.

As there are so many,

As more likely,

When you start multitasking,

You're going to do two things and you're going to think about the third and that's such a split in your consciousness,

Such a split in your breath,

Such a split in where you are in the world.

Multitasking is also doing one thing that's in front of you and you're thinking about the past.

Your energy body is in a different time and space.

Your physical body is washing dishes.

Your mental body is somewhere else.

Your emotional body is somewhere else.

This is the core wound of humanity today is that our different bodies,

Because we have a mental body,

An energy body,

An emotional and spiritual.

So let's say maybe emotional is one,

Spiritual is one,

Mental is one,

Physical is one and I don't know how many else that we don't even know of and I don't even know of.

We do one thing,

We think about the next one and that's projecting into the future.

That's even more draining than the past because you could be remembering beautiful memories,

Then it's sort of better.

However,

In the future,

Okay,

I've realized that even imagining beautiful things while I'm doing dishes sometimes can be draining.

If you cannot stop,

If you cannot realize you have seven tabs open in the browser of your life sitting there,

I've realized this the past few days.

I come home,

I'm excited about six things that I want to do.

One of them is juicing.

Another one is call with you guys.

Another one is checking social media.

Another one is painting.

Another one is drawing.

And then I stand there in the kitchen with a huge backpack on,

Barely breathing,

Not knowing what to do.

And the backpack is killing my shoulders.

And then I'm like,

Okay,

At least,

Oh my God,

Like at least drop this backpack first.

Pull the things out and then I have to go,

Okay,

Let's organize the mind.

Let's close the tabs.

What is priority?

First and foremost,

Pull out all the fruits.

Secondly,

Get undressed.

Thirdly,

Get the towel out to dry.

Slowly,

Slowly.

Fourth,

And then if I'm smart,

I'm actually gonna take 10 minutes to sit down and breathe first before I do anything else.

That's the same when you wake up.

That's the same when everything.

Choose.

Choose something so the story can move forward.

Choose so you're not at the crossroads.

The stuckness is the thing that drains you more than the fear or the bravery.

The bravery through fear is always release.

And going into comfort,

Back into comfort is always at least you release the energy.

At least you lie down and say,

Okay,

I give up for now.

I'm gonna go back into my blanket,

Which is also okay.

Everything is better than this crossroads.

Make a choice so the story can move forward,

So your life flows.

Infinite energy is burned.

I've realized so many times during the last few weeks that I'm not actually fatigued.

I'm not actually tired.

I'm not actually drained of energy because I'm sick or because I'm doing something wrong with my diet or because of people as much.

The reason why I felt fatigued,

Drained,

And weaker is because I have been suppressing my fire around people,

Trying to be calm at all times,

Trying to not be shocking,

Trying to not be loud,

Trying to suppress the natural flow of my energy.

And this is actually,

I actually have an abundance of energy to do so many things if I drop the fact of how I look at,

Look on the outside while I'm doing all these things,

And how will other people perceive me while I'm doing all these things.

Meaning,

I can create miracles in this world if I allow myself to be loud,

If I allow myself to break a few eggs on the way to make the omelet,

If I allow myself to be extremely uncomfortable to most of the people,

And then,

Of course,

Extremely stimulating to the other 50%,

Instead of being calm for the 100% of everyone,

And then your energy gets released,

And then you suddenly have energy for everything you've ever wanted to do in your life.

You wake up in the morning and you're like,

I can run further if I allow myself to sweat like a pig.

I can do more if I allow myself to burp and fart loudly while I'm doing it.

I can do so much if I allow myself to fall and tumble in front of a crowd,

And I'm going to achieve things that I want to achieve.

I'm going to be the person that I want to be if I don't stand at the crossroad looking at who took a left turn,

Who took a right turn,

Who's there in the bleachers looking at my decision-making.

When it comes to being observed and all of this,

You are being observed by others in that moment,

And the worst thing they're going to point at you and laugh and gossip about you in that moment,

You know how long that's going to last?

For five minutes until they open their phone again,

Until they go into the next meal,

Until they go to sleep.

Who is going to remember this?

Closest family members continue living when a family member dies.

Close family members go on living.

I mean,

People grieve.

Don't get me wrong.

We grieve for people.

However,

If we were not connected with them on a daily basis like we are now,

Or some other friends you have,

Or some other family members you have that you connect on a daily basis,

Or friends,

Most of the people,

We forget and forget us very quickly after we are dead.

After people die,

Let alone people in the streets,

Let alone even acquaintances,

And most friends,

The people that we deem as friends,

They are shocked in the moment.

Oh,

What are you doing with your life?

Or,

Look at this fool.

Ah,

Look at this fool.

What are you doing with your life?

You wanted to allow yourself to be everything you always wanted to allow yourself to be in front of others,

And you were suppressing yourself,

Standing on the crossroads.

So,

What is.

.

.

Yeah.

Who is going to remember that?

Only you!

And it's going to open up a new world for you if you do something radical.

And these two topics are crazily interconnected.

Peace,

Self-abundance,

Wholeness.

Thank you for listening.

To my premium audio courses on human design.

Next-level tools to release stuck emotions and the grip of your mind.

To reset your life from the foundation to the top of your spine,

Making you more authentic,

Intuitive,

And aligned.

Join my group called The League of Wanderers.

Return to Insight Timer daily for your dose of wisdom and affirmation.

I wish you peace,

Self-abundance,

And wholeness.

Reviews

That was a great talk!! I’m so inspired, thank you. I suffer from overthinking and analysis paralysis at times, this is the medicine I need for more balance and freedom.

For me the message is prioritise, but one thing at a time Focus & Take action, keeping momentum in doing the things you have to do but also with want to do! Not doing causes turmoi, mentally & physically. Thank you for this session it’s a great aid memoir for when I am stuck and at that crossroad! 🙏🏾❤️

Eye create lines initiates conversation and actively engages with the people that join on Live and through his meditations. I appreciate the strong voice he has.

Love this and clearly understand to not stand at the crossroads as if I chose fast I release stagnant energy and if it was wrong then learn and move the other way .Thank you for sharing.Much Love and Peace ♥️✌️