Grand Rising,
Beautiful souls,
Good morning.
Good morning,
Good morning.
What a beautiful,
Beautiful day to wake,
To be alive,
To express gratitude.
Wow,
God,
Thank you.
Good morning.
Good morning,
Soul family.
So very grateful in this moment,
In this moment,
To be awake,
To be alive,
And to have breath in my lungs.
So,
Per usual,
Going to open up with a few moments of silence.
And before we do so,
To let you know that today's topic is going to be self-sabotage.
We're going to get into that,
Close out with a beautiful,
Magical,
Divine prayer,
And send you on your merry way.
So let's open this space with some gratitude as we honor those who have come before us,
And as we pay homage and owning the reverential tone of unconditional love.
So let us sit in a few moments of silence.
Thank you.
Thank you,
Great,
Beautiful,
Divine,
Loving spirit.
Thank you for your presence,
Which is never an absence.
Thank you for your presence in all things,
Knowing that you are in every single detail.
Spirit,
In this moment,
We thank you for the breath in our lungs.
We thank you for waking us today.
We thank you for all of life,
All aspects of life,
What we perceive to be good and not so good,
What we perceive to be positive and or negative.
Spirit,
Knowing that you are in the details gives my heart and soul ease.
And so this rising,
It came to me to speak about self-sabotage,
One,
Because it's something that I did for a long time in my life,
And two,
Because it's something that is continuously coming up in conversations that I'm having and things that I'm reading and also in things that people are posting.
So I said,
You know what,
Let me go ahead and dive right into it.
Let's tackle self-sabotage.
What is it?
What does it look like?
And how can we move through that?
So first and foremost,
What is self-sabotage?
Self-sabotage is any form of sabotaging an area or an aspect of your life when you don't feel worthy.
For example,
If someone is coming to you in your life and they're looking to pour into you,
Maybe financially,
Maybe emotionally,
Maybe they're looking to do some great act of service,
Or maybe they're looking to express their love to you in some form or fashion,
And you don't feel worthy of that,
So you reject it.
There's all forms of rejection.
You can reject it in the way of an attitude.
You can reject it in the way of not showing up for an event.
You can reject it in the way of maybe being mean to them or being rude to them.
There's so many ways that you can reject receiving what God's Spirit has for you in that moment.
So we have to understand why do we do that?
We don't feel worthy.
Why do we not feel worthy?
Well,
We don't feel worthy because of the physical,
Mental,
Emotional,
Or sexual abuse that we endured as a child or a teenager or maybe in our early 20s or wherever we are in our life.
We don't feel worthy because of the emotional neglect that we didn't receive from our parents or our guardians.
We don't feel worthy because when we expressed our emotions as a child,
We were told not to cry.
We were told not to feel that way or to be strong.
There's so many reasons why we as individuals self-sabotage.
We can self-sabotage in relationships.
We can self-sabotage in our finances.
We can have thousands of dollars in the bank account and have five credit cards and continuously run up those credit cards and those balances,
And now we're $25,
000 in debt.
There's so many forms and fashions,
And it looks differently.
Maybe we are in a beautiful relationship with someone who does love us unconditionally,
And we end up cheating mentally or emotionally.
Buendia?
There's so many different forms and fashions,
And so you have to ask yourself,
What is your form?
What does your form of self-sabotage look like?
And then we have to get to the root of it.
So,
Again,
Remembering and knowing and looking at yourself in the mirror and the lens that God does,
Spirit only knows your perfection because spirit only knows its own perfection,
And you are an expression and an iteration of the one divine mind,
Of spirit expressing itself constantly,
Continuously,
Through you as you,
As you are.
Right here,
Right now,
The perfection of God is at work.
Right here,
Right now,
The perfection of spirit is at hand.
Full orchestration,
Perfect orchestration,
Divine timing,
Divine intervention.
And so whatever it is that you are doing in this moment or in this season,
Or maybe you've moved through self-sabotage,
And if you have,
Thank God.
Because self-sabotage is crippling.
Self-sabotage will keep you from your blessings.
Self-sabotage will end relationships.
Self-sabotage will put strains on relationships or on your finances or on your own relationship with yourself.
Because as we continue to self-sabotage,
We continuously tell ourselves these stories.
I'm not worthy.
See,
This is why he or she did that.
See,
This is why he or she has treated me this way and continues to.
Let me tell you something.
When we treat ourselves with love and kindness and compassion and tenderness,
We are teaching others to do the same for us and to us.
When we are treating ourselves with constantly putting ourselves down,
Negative self-talk,
Self-sabotage,
Not treating ourselves with love and kindness,
And we're constantly disrespecting ourselves,
We are teaching other people that that's okay for them to treat us that way.
So,
Beautiful people,
I am here.
We are in this together,
But we've got to be honest with ourselves.
We can't continuously lie to ourselves,
And we have to start telling ourselves new stories.
We have to break the pattern.
We have to break the mold.
We have to break the behavior to start anew.
Spirit woke you today.
You have a new day.
You have a new breath in your lungs every time you take a breath.
Spirit is saying,
I want to give you something new.
I want you to start a new pattern,
A new behavior,
A new habit,
In the ways that are going to benefit you in a healthy manner,
That are going to grow you,
That are going to benefit you and everyone around you and in your life.
God,
You are it.
There is no other ingredient.
It is not you plus.
It is simply,
Wholly,
Fully,
And completely you in every action of our being,
In every action and function of our organs,
In every breath that we take,
In every movement that we make.
God,
You woke me today.
I didn't wake myself.
You allowed me to go to the bathroom this morning.
I didn't do that.
You allowed me to get up and move my body.
I didn't do that.
We play a part and yes,
We are accountable and we must continuously hold ourselves accountable and also understand the power,
The presence,
The vigor,
The resolve,
The divine orchestration of God.
I can't play God and I don't want to.
I don't want that responsibility.
Nor should you.
And I don't like the word should,
But in that sense,
Nor should you.
God is a divine,
Supreme,
Loving power that is in every action and fiber of your being.
God knows every cell in your body.
God knows the way that the blood is flowing through your veins.
God knows what you need before you do.
God knows you by name.
And Spirit knew you before you were in your mother's womb,
Before your mother was in your grandmother.
Everything is perfectly divine and you don't have to accept.
You don't have to like.
You don't have to believe because God is no respecter of a person.
Spirit is going to be spirit regardless.
God is God regardless.
Universal truth is universal truth regardless of where you are,
Regardless of what you look like,
Regardless of how much money you have,
Regardless of what culture you came up in or what religion was taught to you.
Spirit knows you by heart.
Spirit knows you by heart.
And all that Spirit asks of us to do is show up fully.
As ourselves,
Not what our parents want us to be,
Not the the path of dentistry or being a doctor or being a lawyer or being a janitor.
What is it that your soul wants and needs?
What is it that your soul is seeking to express?
Spirit doesn't want what your parents want for you.
Spirit wants for you what is designed for you,
What is divine for you.
I smile with so much joy when I hear children playing.
Because I know that they are living in their purpose.
What is a child's job?
To play.
Is that annoying to parents?
Absolutely.
Because a kid wants to play all day long.
From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep.
That's what kids want to do is play.
Kids need consistency.
Kids need guidance.
And kids need love.
They don't care about money.
They think they care about the toys that you give them or that you don't give them.
Being here in Peru,
Living in Peru and seeing kids play with one toy or do the same thing over and over and over again for hours.
Kids are in joy naturally.
Kids are pure in joy.
I met a woman yesterday,
Our waitress,
She said kids are so pure.
I said,
Guess what?
So are we.
We just have shit we need to release.
We have shit we have to unlearn.
Because we as adults,
We get so serious about stuff.
No.
It doesn't matter what age you are.
Remain childlike.
It doesn't matter if you're in your 80s or your 60s or your 30s.
I'm about to be 36 and I'm a big ass kid.
I love to have fun.
I love to play.
I love to be silly.
Can I take myself too seriously sometimes?
Absolutely.
But I'm human and I work through that.
And I handle myself with grace and I look at myself in the mirror the way that God sees me.
Because God only knows perfection.
God only sees beauty and joy and love and bliss and ecstasy when spirit looks at me.
And so I used to self sabotage for years.
Most of my life.
Probably for 30 years I did that.
Until I really understood and saw myself the way that God sees me.
Because I am a child of God.
I am a child of the Most High.
I am worthy.
I am destined for greatness.
And I am great right now.
I don't need accolades.
I don't need thousands of dollars.
I don't need houses in multiple locations.
I have breath in my lungs.
I have the ability and the want and the desire to pray.
To talk about God.
To talk about God in any room.
Regardless of who's around.
Knowing that there is one living God.
One living spirit.
The mind of God.
Man.
Catch a glimpse.
Because when you catch a glimpse of spirit.
When you catch a glimpse of joy.
When you catch a glimpse of the fundamental goodness that is always at hand.
You'll want to tell everybody about it.
You'll want to talk about God all the time.
You'll want to talk about the fundamental goodness that is at work in your life.
Food,
Clothing and shelter.
Basic necessities.
Many people don't even have that.
So whatever it is that you find yourself complaining about.
Stop.
And be in gratitude in this moment for what you do have.
You have clean drinking water.
That's a blessing.
You have the ability to take a shower or a bath.
That's a blessing.
You have clothes on your back.
That's a blessing.
You woke up in a bed or on a sofa or on an air mattress.
That's a blessing.
You have shelter.
You are blessed.
You have the ability to eat out every once in a while.
You are very blessed.
So spirit in this moment,
I recognize that there's only you.
Not you plus anything.
You are it.
And I am so grateful in this moment to know the truth of my being,
That I am unified and united in your presence,
In your glory,
In your splendor,
In your goodness,
In your radiant being,
In your harmonizing prosperity.
In your reverential tone of unconditional,
Unwavering,
Unyielding,
Chase you down love.
And I am so very grateful in this moment to realize that I have access to you right now.
There's nothing I need to do.
There's nobody I need to be.
I have access to you because you give yourself to us freely,
Fully,
Wholly and completely in every single solitary moment of our existence.
And so God,
I just give thanks.
I give thanks for this moment.
I give thanks for the breath in my lungs.
I give thanks for this beautiful breakfast that is before us.
I give thanks for the accommodating nature of this hotel,
Knowing that my brother and I are vegan and that they've prepared,
That they have prepared a vegan breakfast for us.
I give thanks for the unfolding of every single human being,
Regardless of anything,
Because I know that you know our souls.
So let us not judge.
Let us not be in a position or a state of judging an act of something or what someone has done,
Because you don't know.
You don't know the next iteration of that person's soul.
You don't know the next breath of that person's soul,
But God does.
So it is our job to constantly surrender,
Surrendering to the next unfolding and the next iteration and what is seeking to emerge and express itself through you,
Because there's only one you and that's your superpower.
So God,
I give thanks for it all.
I give thanks for your presence in my heart and in my life.
I love you.
I honor you and I thank you.
I release this prayer by saying,
And so it is.
And so be it,
Because you are God and all is well.
Whoever listens to this love is present right where you are.
You are loved beyond measure.
You are prayed for.
You are seen.
You are valued.
You are cherished.
And I love you.
Go forth and multiply this beauty.
Have a beautiful day.
