Meditation For After A Disagreement

This meditation is for after an argument with a spouse, child, even co-worker. The focus is on feeling the full range of emotions that occur after an argument. Then allowing ourselves to calm down and hear what our heart and soul want to say to the person we argued with. We are bypassing the same messages we always tell ourselves after an argument. We are moving away from the same pattern and finding a way to tap into and speak our truth.

Transcript

So maybe you just got into a disagreement with your partner,

Like potentially a really big one or even a small one,

And you want to come to this meditation to kind of work through it.

Well,

It happens.

It happens to all of us in this chaotic life that we choose as parents.

We are pulled in so many directions by our kids that one little thing can lead to a snap and a big argument or even a small little squabble.

Those squabbles add up as we all know,

And those arguments lead to some strong emotions.

It could be fear,

Fear of what may happen from this or anger,

Deep anger for what was sad or sadness because what was said really hurt you,

Really hurt deep down.

We need to let ourselves feel that full range of emotion,

And we do that by like embodying it.

So if we're afraid,

Like curl up into a fetal position,

Go hide under the covers,

Do something that makes you feel supported,

Safe.

If you're angry,

Go take a pillow,

Put it over your face and scream as loud as you can.

Maybe go punch the bed or some pillows.

Just let that anger work through you.

Just let it work through you.

And if you're sad,

Let yourself cry.

Let yourself kind of huddle over into a dejected,

Sad position if you need to.

Just feel it.

Let yourself just sit in that position,

Curl in that position,

Hide in that position.

Let your body fully feel those emotions.

Let the anger just move through you and out your hands and out your mouth.

Let those tears move out through your eyes or through your body position.

Let that fear move out through you into that supportive,

Safe area,

The bed below you,

The ground below you,

Something that feels really supportive.

And see if you can watch it though.

Like maybe not get as attached to it,

Attached to that feeling,

But watch it as it moves through your body.

Because as we watch,

We learn,

As we watch,

We can feel deeper.

Attachment and clinging is a,

I always feel this way or why do I feel this way?

But watching is a,

Oh,

I feel this way and let it go.

Oh,

This is how it makes my body feel and let it go.

But just really let yourself embody this feeling right now.

Give yourself that permission.

Just for like another 30 seconds,

Let yourself feel that full range of emotion.

Whatever it may be.

Scream louder,

Cry harder,

Curl more intensely.

We're respecting these emotions as we're observing them,

But we're also allowed to let go of them.

If you feel ready,

Even if you don't feel ready,

Like if you really don't feel ready,

Stay in that position.

But for most of us,

Let's just try to slowly unfurl and uncurl and derage,

Whatever that feels like.

And then we're going to find a seated position.

It doesn't have to be totally upright,

But something that's fairly upright,

Maybe reclined,

But something that is just a little calming for our system right now as it might be activated in this moment.

So once you find your seat,

Allow yourself to come into your body,

Into your breath.

We're going to do something that's called downshifting because when we're really feeling angry and sad,

Those emotions live in the top of our head.

They go up or just up and stay.

And we want to bring them down into these thicker and meatier muscles and parts of our body that can really hold them.

So we're going to take a concentrated breath in a second.

We're going to bring the energy from the top of our head down our body.

So on my count right now,

We're going to take a deep inhale into our belly.

Deep exhale.

On that deep exhale,

We're going to feel this energy slowly shifting down our body.

Deep inhale and deep exhale.

Feeling that energy move down your head and down your neck,

Down your shoulders.

Another deep inhale.

Deep exhale.

Move that energy down your body and continue to do that for a little bit as we move that energy down our body because we try to desensitize.

We don't want to feel these difficult feelings.

It's not wired in us right now.

We're practicing,

Practicing allowing yourself to feel these difficult feelings and by bringing it down into these really meatier,

Thicker parts of our body,

We're letting ourselves,

We're telling ourselves it's okay.

It's okay to feel this.

It's okay to feel this in our body.

We can do that by storing this in this more like strong base of us that lets us feel them just not as strong as maybe it's in our head.

Just downshift them.

You've gone to a place where you feel like you've sensitized a little more and these difficult emotions are deeply embedded in our strong muscles and you're not going to not feel them.

This is not about telling them to go away because they will get stronger and say,

No,

Hey,

I'm here.

Just about putting it into a safe place that allows us to feel it which normally happens to be the lower part of our body.

And now that's there.

Let's just focus on our breath as it is.

Come back.

Just focusing your breath as it moves your body.

It's coming into your nostrils.

You feel it moving your entire body.

Your breath is breathing you.

Just tap into that energy.

What does it feel like now?

What does the energy feel like in your body right now?

It's maybe a little less intense as it was before.

Do you feel a little more grounded?

The breath connects us to this earth,

To this reality.

So it may help us feel more grounded,

Especially as we shift it down.

And now we might be in a place where we can really sense inside ourselves something that we want to say,

Say to ourselves,

Say to our partner.

One important message that's trying to come out.

If it's the same message as always as,

I'm not good enough,

I'm overreacting.

Don't listen to that message.

That message is embedded in some younger part of you and doesn't realize what you're going through in this moment.

So see if you can go past that message,

Deeper into your core.

This is truly what I'm supposed to say.

People help you notice a pattern and see past the matrica,

Which is like the drama around the situation,

Around life.

There's lots of drama that kind of covers this pattern that connects all of it.

See if you can notice that pattern or notice some thoughts that are telling you what the pattern is and how you can correct it.

But you may send yourself going to your head and that's okay.

We don't just want to think this through,

We want to feel it through.

So when you hear it in your brain,

You think it in your head,

Then see if you can come back to your heart or to your belly,

Two different places that have strong energetic connections.

Come to these two places and see as well.

This is really what needs to be said.

You can put your hand on your heart and your belly.

Just really focus and concentrate in there.

What needs to come out,

What needs to be said that might scare you,

Maybe something difficult that you just don't know if you can say.

We're not saying it right now,

But just stay with it.

Again you will go to your head and you will be thinking this through and that's okay.

Think it through for a moment and then come back to the heart,

Come back to the belly.

The belly feels deeply where we can store,

It's where we can store that really difficult energy,

The belly down.

The heart also has such a strong compassionate loving energy that we need to listen to.

The brain has some really important stuff as well.

So right now we're just going back and forth thinking,

Feeling and we can use that breath as a guide to connect all of it.

If you're getting overwhelmed,

Come back to the breath.

If there's a feeling of being overwhelmed,

Just come back to the breath.

We're going to let ourselves feel through this and think through this for another about 30 seconds.

No rush,

Nothing has come up.

Just stick with it,

Stay with the breath.

Maybe it's not time for something to come up or maybe there was a profound energy that showed itself.

If you want to remember it,

You can go write it down now in your phone notes or a piece of paper next to you or save it until after this is finished.

We're going to move into some deep breaths to close this container.

Let it stay where we are right now,

Not bring it with us.

So take a deep inhale,

Deep exhale,

Deep inhale,

Deep exhale,

And one more deep inhale and deep exhale.

There may be some fear welling up inside you for this potential difficult conversation that's going to happen.

If difficulty arises during this conversation,

Remember you can always come back to your heart and to your belly and to your soul.

You can even put your hands there during the conversation.

Just know that you're strong and you can do it.

You have things that need to be said and you're doing this out of love,

Make your relationship stronger.

Just follow that love,

Follow that strength.

You can do it.

I'm so very proud of you.

Reviews

So helpful