Beyond Identity

This session delves deeper into how we can transcend our identities accumulated over time to become larger than any one of them. This is done through an activity to provide high impact and a deeper understanding of identity beyond the plethora of identities.

Transcript

Today's topic,

Beyond Identity,

We're going to explore who we think we are and go deeper into our identity.

I'm not going to be talking too much.

I'm going to be asking you to go through a series of questions that are formulated to kind of self-reflect and go deeper into how we identify ourselves and what that means for us.

In terms of our own well-being and effectiveness,

Our happiness and also for our relationships with other people and with the planet.

So it's very much,

It's a topic that is very close to my heart.

And this activity is actually the first time I'm going to run this activity.

So I would really love to hear your thoughts and reflections at the end of this.

And I hope you find it a valuable exercise.

So let's begin.

So what I'd like you to do is,

You've got a piece of paper.

What I'd like you to do is on this piece of paper,

Draw yourself an outline of yourself.

So you're not going to take more than 30 seconds to a minute,

But basically just draw a human being.

Now,

Outline of a human being is good enough.

So I'll give you a minute.

So just type yes,

If you've done that.

Give you a minute to just draw yourself as a kind of a figure on a piece of paper.

All right.

Shouldn't take more than a few seconds,

In fact,

No more than a minute at least.

Now,

Now that you've done that,

Thank you for confirming.

What I'd like you to do is write inside this person,

Who you think it's me,

So you can put me on top of this paper.

So write inside this person all the labels,

All the identities that you associate with,

All the things,

All the labels that you associate with.

I want you to write that inside this person,

You know,

Wherever you like inside it.

You know,

Just put all any label like,

You know,

Obviously you can put your name in there.

You can put anything,

Anything you kind of associate with,

You know,

Name,

Gender,

Race,

Religion,

Profession,

Ethnicity,

Whatever it is that you identify with.

Just write in that.

So I'll give you a minute to do that.

So anything that comes to mind,

Just think about,

OK,

Who am I?

Well,

You know,

If I ask you,

Who are you?

What do you what comes up for you?

What comes up for you when I ask you a question?

Who are you?

Someone if you meet someone,

Ask you,

OK,

Who are you?

I know.

Who are you?

Just type in whatever kind of comes up for you when that question pops up.

Obviously,

There's no right or wrong answer.

It's just about how you identify yourself.

Just give me a thumbs up if you've done that and you can't think of anything else so that I know that I can move on to the next question.

So I'm going to do that exercise with you.

I've been writing down all the things on.

All right.

So so it should look something like that.

You know,

You type,

You not only type.

So if you're on a computer,

You can just obviously type all the labels.

You don't even need to draw the person,

But just type in the labels.

So I put my name,

My profession,

Male 41 and,

You know,

All that kind of stuff.

Now,

OK,

I'm hoping most of you have already done that.

So I'm going to go to the next question.

So what I want you to look at is the label that you've written on the inside of you.

The picture of you,

Outline of you,

The one that you most strongly associate with,

The one that you you kind of say,

You know,

This is this is why I think I am.

Why I think I am.

And this is kind of why resonate with the most.

Just type if you can,

If you're OK to type in chat,

What label that might be,

The label that you strongly associate.

If you feel,

You know,

If you feel comfortable to just share in chat what that is,

Obviously,

There's no right or wrong answer.

But typing in chat the label KV dancer.

Thank you so much,

KV.

Sharing that athlete,

Liz.

OK,

So we've got athlete,

We've got dancer.

What else?

What else?

What is the label that you strongly most associate with?

Please type that in chat.

Sensitive.

Mia,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Anyone else?

Those who are joining.

So what we're doing is typing in chat the label,

The identity you strongly associate with.

If you can just kindly type that in chat.

All right.

So we any any more want to share?

I'll type.

I'll type mine in as well.

I'll just.

I think I quite strongly associate with educator.

So type in chat whatever you strongly associate.

All right.

Now,

So by now you've got your person.

If you if you've got a piece of paper and got a person's labels inside and and you've identified the label that you most strongly associate with.

So the third thing I want I'd like you to do is cross out,

Cross out the labels that you did not intentionally choose.

So you didn't intentionally choose that label.

So look at the labels that you've placed inside that person and cross out the the labels that you did not intentionally choose.

So I'm going to just cross out the things that.

I did not intentionally choose.

And then I'm left with.

Only half the labels I put in.

So how many how many labels is left?

Just type in what how many labels remains inside you?

Six.

Thanks,

Liz.

Up three left.

Anyone else now who has crossed the label you strongly associated with?

Crossed like crossed it.

Just type in cross.

Sorry,

The one that you were most strongly associated with.

If you've crossed that as well,

Just type in chat.

Yes,

Please.

Yes,

If you've done that.

I'm just joining.

So those who are joining.

So what we're doing is we are creating a outline of who we think we are and putting in all the labels we associate with inside that person.

So that's the first activity.

The second activity is to identify which one I you most strongly associate with and then begin to cross out the labels you did not intentionally choose.

OK,

So this is the this is the process we're going through.

Now,

The next thing I want I'd like you to do is cross out the labels that don't either changing or transient.

So they they might be changing.

So that label might not be there in 10,

20,

30 years time or it wasn't there in the past.

So it might change to some way to cross those labels.

Just begin to cross those labels.

Now,

Tell me how many.

So once you cross those labels that are transient,

Please let me know how many labels are left.

What's left?

How many labels are left to please?

Thank you.

Now,

Could you let me know if that label that you strongly associated with is also still there or crossed out type in chat?

There we go.

So including strongest crossed out.

How do you feel about that?

How do you feel about that?

Any reflections?

No.

What else is it?

Is it a positive emptiness or is it a negative emptiness?

What's the what's the sense?

What's the feeling?

Do you sense more?

Do you feel more positive or less positive?

You feel freer,

Less free.

You feel what is there for you?

Just type in chat whatever there is for you.

Who am I?

It's like,

Who am I then?

Absolutely.

Who am I then?

You know,

Pretty much a lot of these things.

Like for me,

I pretty much crossed out everything,

Even even profession,

Because professions are changing and they don't stand the test of time.

So there is still you're still there.

Like you,

You are still there.

You haven't disappeared just because you crossed out all these labels that you accumulated.

Obviously,

There is a person there,

Even though all the labels have been crossed out.

Now,

I'd like to go back to how having so many labels that you've put in there initially,

How does that make you feel initially when you had all these labels?

And I probably should have asked you this question before we started crossing it out.

But just imagine all the labels you carry with yourself.

How does that make you feel?

KV just a good about sense of self,

Feeling good about being.

Yeah.

Change.

Thank you.

Yeah.

So but think about think about how does what does it mean to have many labels?

What does many labels actually make you feel and think about how you feel when someone says something negative about one of your labels?

So think about how you feel if someone you know,

All these labels that you've you've whether you've crossed it out or not.

How does how do you feel when someone challenges one of those labels?

What how does how does it has that happened for you?

And how does it feel when that happens?

Mia,

So there's a realization Mia has that the labels are in a way we are.

So would you would you like to share that?

What labels that are in a way we are?

Liz is bummed out if someone said something negative.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Actually,

I yeah,

Getting a getting a bad review on a social media.

It can hurt.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Shame.

Feeling of shame.

Yep.

That's all of those things.

Now,

Now,

Like just just noticing the transience of these labels.

Absolutely.

So some labels are personality traits that are hard to change.

So they are innate because,

You know,

We're born with it.

So it's in our genes.

It's you know.

Now,

Remember,

The first question was cross out the labels that that you did not intentionally choose.

So that means personality is something we didn't we don't choose.

Right.

We are we come up with some personality that it's not our choice.

We just have some kind of personality.

So that gets crossed off.

Masson saying there's defensiveness.

Right.

Who here feels a bit light and knowing that these labels can be,

You know,

The way you perceive them.

Who feel who has had a shift interception of the labels that they've put in inside this human being who feels a bit lighter and less defensive?

Anyone anyone else?

Now,

Just imagine.

So these labels that we put in,

We obviously we have these labels and there's nothing wrong with these labels.

But knowing that there's transient of some of these labels,

So some of these labels change.

And knowing some of these labels we haven't chosen,

Like,

For instance,

We don't choose where we're where we're born.

We have we don't most of us.

We haven't even chosen our name.

We haven't even chosen the name that we we kind of people call us with our parents.

Right.

Our personalities,

All of these things.

So knowing that many of them we haven't chosen and to make you feel.

Are you comfortable or uncomfortable?

And it can be both.

It's no right or wrong.

You can feel more comfortable,

More light or you can feel even more on a sense of confusion.

Often,

Who am I if I'm not these labels?

Well,

You know,

You can be those labels.

But essentially,

My intention with this exercise is for you to see how these labels are kind of don't have that level of heaviness that they normally might have.

Like these,

You know,

They because you might say this part of me is always changing,

But there's a part of you that is not changing.

And that's what I'm trying to get deeper into for you to recognize the deeper sense of identity that is beyond these labels.

So labels that are accumulated over time,

You know,

Whether it's your profession,

Whether it's your gender or whatever is or whatever it is that that's there.

Some of them may remain there,

Like personality might change a little bit,

But mostly the same.

Some of them may change.

It might be a profession.

But there is you,

You that have these labels.

Right.

So there's you as the identity of who you are deeper beyond the labels.

And then there's the labels that you,

You know,

You have.

And that is what I am kind of referring to.

So when when we ask,

Who are you?

It's a question that is actually both.

There is it's a trick.

It's not a trick question,

But it kind of leaves you recognizing that there is something beyond the labels that cannot even be labelled.

Because as soon as you label it,

You are you are subjecting your identity to a form which may change over time or you had not no choice over.

So essentially,

An activity I'd like you to do right now is to just,

You know,

Just find a comfortable position.

So this is it's more of more of a kind of a reflective,

Meditative activity.

I'd like you to try it and simply just bring a sense of attention to your breathing,

To your body.

Just just bring a sense of attention.

You can close your eyes and just just feel your own presence where you are,

Wherever you are.

Right.

You know,

Wherever you are located around the world,

Each of us are somewhere.

Right.

We've connected in this space.

But just find a sense of your own presence to your breath and your body and just feel your own presence where you are.

Take a deep breath and say to yourself,

I am.

And don't you don't need to put anything after I am.

Just say I am.

I am here.

I am now.

And just allow yourself to sit in your I am in your presence and just continue to pay attention to your breath and your body and remain in the space of I am.

I am no need to have anything after I am.

And if some labels come up,

Just allow them to float to arise and pass as thoughts about who you think you are,

Because it's all thought forms.

Your your name,

Your profession,

All of these gender,

Nationality,

Religion,

All of these things that might come up,

Which is fine.

Whatever whatever there is.

But just notice that the substratum,

The essence deeper beyond those labels that that some of them you may have chosen,

Some of them you may not have chosen.

Some of them change over time.

But the I amness that is consciousness beyond those labels just become present to that.

So we're just talking about right now,

Right now,

Just bring a sense of presence to this moment beyond all the labels that you've accumulated over time.

From the moment you're born with your name,

You know,

Nationality,

Gender,

All those things that you are born with personality.

And as you grow,

You have some some form of training or education or work or profession,

And then you accumulate those labels on top of that.

And then you might join some societies and groups and interest groups and you associate with that group.

So notice all of that just being there.

But then there is a much larger container that is much larger than the labels themselves.

It's kind of holding those labels,

But much larger.

And that is the identity that I'd like you to kind of approach.

There is no label for that identity,

Because as soon as you put a label to it,

You'll make it into a thing.

Whereas what we're doing is looking at the substratum,

The container that beholds all these labels,

Chooses some of these labels,

Hasn't chosen because it came from,

Right.

You know,

You've got your body,

Right,

That you can associate with.

You've got your mind.

But the space beyond the labels that you have accumulated.

So I'd like you to just become present to that.

And in fact,

So many of you who do meditation.

A part of an essential part of this meditation is going beyond the thought forms of identity and who you think you are.

And to enter this space of conscious awareness that is an identity beyond forms,

Beyond labels.

So the I amness that you are beyond the labels that you've accumulated over time,

Some of which you have chosen,

Some of which you haven't,

Some of the things that change.

That I amness that you are beyond that label is the essential identity.

And when you enter that space,

Which is just space of your own presence,

You allow yourself to go beyond the labels.

Now,

What I'd like you to do is share what,

How that experience has been for you to become present to your own presence,

Which is beyond the labels.

Has it?

Please share any experience you might have had through this activity of identifying all these labels,

Noticing which ones you're more attached to,

Which ones you're not.

And then noticing how some of these things are changing.

Some of these things you have chosen,

Some of these things you haven't chosen.

And the I amness that you are,

The presence beyond those labels,

How does it feel to become more of that presence beyond the labels,

Beyond the thought forms?

So please share in chat what comes up for you,

How you feel about this.

There's no right or wrong,

But just if you just share whatever is coming for you when you step outside beyond the labels and just honor the labels.

So honoring all the labels that you have accumulated.

So it's not saying it's not about good or bad of these labels.

It's honoring the labels that have are there,

Some of which you have chosen,

Some of which you haven't,

Some of things,

Some of which are changing.

So honoring them,

But noticing that you are beyond these labels,

You are beyond these labels.

Right.

So when I say you,

It's the it's it's the essence of you that is holding space for these labels to arise and pass.

Some of them change.

Honoring the ones that are just there and and some of them which might actually create challenges for us to just allow that to be there without the need to label the labels as good or bad.

It's just it is there.

Some of them can change.

You can develop new skills.

You can become more successful in certain areas of your life.

But there's this spaciousness that is allowing for all of that to happen beyond those labels that we identify with.

So Mia is sharing that it's it's more freeing to be that way.

And that is exactly what happens when you become this spacious space for which all these labels arise and pass.

There's a sense of lightness that will come into being when when you become this spaciousness beyond the labels you create.

You view because that's where you are.

You're the spacious container that allows these labels to be to arise and pass.

Some of these labels are impermanent.

So they change.

Some of these labels are relatively permanent because I think it was Mia that mentioned that some of them are innate to our personality,

For instance.

But there's other honoring some of these labels.

But then the level of attachment,

The level of solidity that they might have had before recognizing the spaciousness around these begins to not disappear,

But just lose that.

That's solidity of these labels,

Just like there is.

There is this container of who you are beyond these labels that allows these to come and go,

Allow these to change,

Allow these to be if they don't change.

But but there is a sense of peace and spaciousness that goes beyond the labels that we accumulate.

So what I'd like you to do now is reflect on what does that mean if we become that spaciousness?

What does it mean for us,

For our well-being,

For our health and well-being?

What does it mean for our relationships with ourselves,

With other people,

With our planet?

With people who we might have certain labels that are part of a community or a nationality,

Whatever it is.

So you might have labels that bring people together.

But how does that shift for you,

Your relationship with yourself,

With other people,

With the planet,

Beyond our own smaller communities?

What does that mean for you?

So please share in chat what that means for you if you have a certain shift in an identity beyond labels.

What does it mean for our relationships?

What does it mean for our relationship with ourselves,

With other people?

What does it mean?

How does it shift also when someone challenges what some of these labels are for you?

Will you perceive that differently?

We can allow ourselves to just be outside of the labels.

Thank you,

Bian.

We can allow ourselves.

I love that.

I love that.

We can allow ourselves to just be outside of those labels.

So it means we are bigger than those labels.

We are bigger than those labels.

And this bigger being bigger is not a label in itself.

It's not like,

You know,

It's just a much larger container of who you are.

All right.

I love that.

Thank you,

Bian.

You've worded it so beautifully.

That we become the spaciousness that allows these labels to be there.

There's a certain lightness that brings about when we interact with people.

There's less defensiveness.

There's a rigidity about these labels.

These labels,

We honor them.

We appreciate them.

Some of them we manage.

Some of them we use to serve humanity,

To serve our planet.

But there's a peace that emanates from all of these labels.

And that's who you are,

That spacious presence,

That spacious presence that allows these labels to be there.

And that spaciousness,

That container is the constant of who you are.

That's the non-changing aspect of you that is beyond these labels.

That was when you were born.

That was throughout your life and will be.

And that presence is a quality of being that does not change.

Your mental state might change.

Your bodily functions may change.

But that presence that holds that space for the mental and emotional and the physical to change over time,

That is a constant.

And that is who you are beyond the physical,

Mental,

Emotional labels,

Beyond the labels that are bestowed upon you by society,

By your community,

By your parents or by even your own self.

So there's this much larger container.

And that is where that's the space I'm bringing forth or I'm guiding you to become present to.

And once you become present to that spaciousness,

Life will become lighter for you.

Life will have a certain sense of ease that emanates from being that spaciousness because you have gone beyond the labels that you've accumulated.

You have become the container.

You have recognized your deeper essence identity.

That is that spacious presence that allows these things to be.

And that was the activity I wanted to run through and I didn't want to kind of.

.

.

There was very little theory about this.

I am currently writing a book on identity and I will share that with the community at some point.

But this is one of the activities from that book.

And it's just to give you that experience of going beyond labels that that one has accumulated over time.

And that was pretty much all I wanted to share with you today in this session.

So feel free to type in chat your reflections,

Any questions you have for me about this exercise or anything else that comes up for you.

Anything you are not sure about,

Anything kind of hanging there that needs to be clarified or expressed.

Please feel free to express that.

I would love your feedback in chat.

And if there is anything else that,

You know,

Any other questions that you might have for me.

But other than that,

You know,

Thank you so much for making time to join from around the world,

Wherever you are.