I Am With You

Today, Dr. Alexander John Shaia leads us through a meditation on the Gospel of Matthew. In his work, Alexander regards Matthew's Gospel as indicative of how we face change. What do we do with our fears, our doubts, our questions? How do we answer the call to move out from our comfort zone into something new?

Transcript

Welcome.

Thank you for joining me.

I want to lead you in a meditation on the very last lines from the Gospel of Matthew.

But before I do that,

A few words about how I see the Gospel,

Which is different than the way most people today see the Gospel.

From my work,

I understand that the Gospel is an entire sequential story.

The first chapter is Matthew,

Which is the story of how we face change.

The next is Mark,

Which is the story of how we move through times of great trial and struggle.

The third chapter is John,

Which is the story of new vitality and insight,

Joy and oneness.

And lastly is the story of Luke Axe,

Which is an account of how we mature by our desire to serve.

So as we turn to a meditation from the text that we call Matthew,

I see this text as a deep teaching of Jesus the Christ to each of us about how we move into and face a moment of change,

A moment very much like the moment that the whole world faces today in this pandemic.

Just a historical anchor to the text,

We believe that the Gospel we call Matthew was composed in the days or the years shortly after the destruction of the Jewish temple in the year 70,

The massacre of the Jewish priesthood,

And the tearing down and the desolation of much of the holy city of Jerusalem.

In those days,

We as Christian Jews believed that perhaps the apocalypse had come.

And even we wondered whether God had left us and whether Jesus's death and resurrection had been some trick that Jesus came,

But now Jesus too had left us.

And we were alone and bereft and not sure that we could move ahead.

So here are the last words of the text of the Gospel of Matthew,

Which again in my way of understanding is simply the end of the first chapter of the four chapters of the sequential story of growth and transformation we call the Gospel.

So at the end of this first chapter of how we face change,

We hear now the 11 disciples go to Galilee,

To the mountain to which Jesus has directed us.

And when we see Jesus,

We both worship Jesus and doubt Jesus.

But Jesus comes and says to us,

All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.

Go therefore,

Go everywhere inside yourself,

Go everywhere outside yourself,

And make a disciple,

Teaching yourself and all to obey everything that I have commanded you in the law of love.

And remember,

Remember,

The I am is with you always,

Always,

To the end of all time,

The I am is always with you.

Now there may be a phrase that you heard in the text that is the most important thing that God is saying to you today.

And I would suggest take a moment to simply capture that word,

Write it on your heart,

Write it in a journal.

What I do in my own personal practice is I take a Gospel passage like this and I pray it an entire week.

I go out in the forest with it,

I sit quietly with it,

I draw with it,

I dance with it,

I breathe with it.

And I see how it opens up in me.

But what I also would like to do is I'd like to invite you right now if you're willing to join me in this text.

And in this moment,

In this moment perhaps if we turn to this text at a moment of great change,

Let's touch those experiences of loss.

In a moment where yesterday is gone,

A loved one has died,

A relationship has ended,

Finances and jobs may be in a downturn,

Or a virus has come and our whole schedule and routine in life is disrupted.

Perhaps even we are in staying home or somewhere in the world where we actually are in lockdown.

In this moment,

Hear the voice of Jesus the Christ calling us to ascend a mountain,

Calling us to wake up.

Remembering that waking up is often like the experience of going up a high mountain.

As you begin the journey,

Are you walking with someone or someone?

Are you carrying a staff?

What does that staff look like?

What's it feel like in your body to be just beginning to climb this mountain?

Are you carrying water and food?

Feel the weight on your back or on your side?

What's the quality of your heart?

Notice what's in your heart.

Notice the thoughts and the feelings in this time of loss.

Notice you're wondering about what may happen as you get to the summit of this mountain.

See yourself,

Feel yourself as you begin to climb,

Noticing how your breath gets a bit more labored.

Perhaps the muscles in your legs are tightening.

Do you feel a stretching in your calves?

Are you walking upright or perhaps leaning in a bit?

Notice the exertion that it takes to go up this mountain,

The exertion that it takes to keep hearing the call of a risen life that might await you at the top of this mountain.

What's the type of conversation you're having inside yourself?

What's the type of conversation you're having with those that you're walking with,

If you're walking with another?

And then you see the summit in the distance.

After a series of switchbacks up and down and around,

You suddenly see a place near the top.

And in this place near the top,

You see a figure.

And as you draw close,

You recognize this figure as Jesus the Christ,

The risen one.

And you have a sense of awe in seeing Jesus risen and also a sense of doubt,

Perhaps anxiety.

How can these two realities be together?

That the risen one is here and yet my heart is filled with the loss of yesterday and my grief and my uncertainty and perhaps my anxiety about today and tomorrow.

And as we come closer to the risen one,

Notice how you respond.

Notice your longing.

Notice what you really want to know and hear from the risen one.

And perhaps the longings from our mind are,

I want to know the map for tomorrow.

I want to know what it's going to look like.

I want to know that I have the resources.

I want to know that I have the friends and the love.

I want to know that I have the support.

I want to know I have a job.

I want to know that my family and friends will be well.

And hear the risen one say to you,

I understand all those wonderings and anxieties and uncertainties in you.

I understand them.

I know them.

But my promise is something greater.

My promise to you is not certainty of things and events.

My promise is I am with you.

Will you put your mind and your heart in my hands?

Will you place your very self in my heart?

And together we will go to all those wonderings and concerns and cares and griefs.

And I will walk through it with you.

Yes,

There will be a great radiant tomorrow somewhere out there.

I can't tell you when,

But place yourself in me.

And together we will walk towards that day.

And even hearing this great assurity,

We may know that the risen one lives and yet we still have our doubts.

Both live together inside of us.

The risen one does not think less of us because of our doubts,

But holds us close and continues to say over and over to each one of our questions,

To each one of our doubts,

To each one of our anxieties,

I am with you.

I am with you.

Always.

There is nowhere you can go where I will not be with you.

Even beyond the end of time.

And we might say in our Hebrew,

Ahmin,

Hallelujah,

Hallelujah,

Hallelujah,

Hallelujah.

Reviews

This was exactly what I needed this morning. I am grateful. 🙏

Surprisingly lovely! Tears flowed at the end and I’m so blessed to have come across this today! What a reminder that the Christ is always with us. Thank you!!

A serendipitous find this morning that is exactly what I needed. Thank you 🙏

Thank you, immensely helpful and connected deeply with me. I am with you ALWAYS.🤍🙏🏼

🙏🏻 thank you
Jesus truly is with us through it all!

Alexander John Shaia leads us up the mountain of Matthew towards the ever-present Christ.

I found this quite good, and would have appreciated a bit more silent time during the visualizations. Even so, I am recommending this to a couple of other people.

Really needed to hear that in my fear and doubt,! TY.

I have been ill for a year with long covid, everything is on pause that I once knew and clung to. Jesus Christ is with me, when I reach false summits, when I look to the true summit and as I climb. Praise God for your gift in leading this wonderful meditation. Thank you.

Thank you. And thank you for introducing a different perspective and a lovely meditation

Even beyond this pandemic, the message is timely. I love when passages from the Bible are explored and blended with spirituality.

This is exactly what I needed.
GBU, thank you.Glory to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit🕊 🙏🙌✨

Thank you so much. I just really needed to hear this and feel the presence of my Abba Father. May the Lord, ADONAI bless you, and keep you, and make His face shine upon you.

Very inspiring thank you 🙏

Absolutely beautiful. I needed to hear that so badly today. Jesus is with me, and you, every single step of the way. If we can only let go of “having to know” how it will all work out, and find peace and security that the Savior of the world will be with us every step of the way, how much more freely and joyfully will we live! 💛

Perfect. There is no peace without God. Amen. Thank you 🙏🏽🙏🏽

So wonderful to be reminded that He is with us always! Thank you and many blessings to you.

Thank you for this. I love how you explained the Gospels and the visualization. It came to me at just the right time. Blessings to you. 🙏🏽

Thank you for sharing this. No God, no peace. Know God, know peace. A great message during these troubling times.

Very beautiful! Thank you for the time 🙏