Welcome to Enhancing Recovery Part 2.
I'm Dr.
Lynn Brown.
Today's topic is self-defeating sobriety behaviors.
A habit is something we did once,
Received satisfaction from,
And therefore repeated until it became natural.
Self-defeating sobriety behaviors are habits that have become a part of you.
They keep you from reaching your long-term sobriety goal by becoming barriers you find difficult to eliminate.
There are four common types of self-defeating sobriety behaviors.
Mythical fears,
Unrealistic expectations,
Perfectionism,
And comparisons.
Mythical fears.
Mythical fears regarding sobriety are common.
They are mythical because few of them actually happen and you are worrying about a fantasy.
Your fears are a result of experiences,
Yours and others,
What you have been told,
And what you expect.
They commonly are fears about how your life will change when you are sober.
Some are,
My spouse will leave me.
I will leave my spouse.
My friends will reject me.
I won't be able to live up to my expectations.
I won't be able to remain sober.
And I won't be able to adjust to sober living.
Unrealistic expectations.
Unrealistic expectations regarding sobriety consists of those that are too high and those that are too low.
Both are self-defeating.
Expectations that are too high include thinking you have found a magical cure,
That making habit and attitude changes will be easy,
Cockiness,
Testing yourself unnecessarily,
And complacency regarding the sobriety process.
Expectations that are too low include having a negative attitude regarding your ability to change,
Being unmotivated,
Giving up easily,
And looking for excuses to quit working on sobriety.
Perfectionism.
Perfectionism is another type of self-defeating sobriety behavior.
Many people are perfectionists.
If you are,
Your standards are too high regarding behavior changes.
You expect too much too soon from yourself,
So are therefore disappointed.
You don't acknowledge small accomplishments,
And you cause yourself stress by having too many shoulds and ought tos.
If you feel you are a perfectionist,
Please go back to the full presentation of this topic earlier in the course.
Comparisons.
Comparisons are also self-defeating.
By making them,
You are setting yourself up for failure.
Some comparisons are,
At least I'm not as bad as,
I haven't been drinking as long as.
Take time to determine what self-defeating sobriety behaviors you are exhibiting,
How they affect your efforts,
If you have any reason to continue them,
And what alternative behaviors you could practice in place of the self-defeating behaviors.
My self-defeating sobriety behaviors.
Mythical fears.
This is one of my mythical fears.
How does it affect my sobriety efforts?
What,
If any,
Reason do I have to continue it?
What alternative behavior will I practice in place of it?
Do this exercise for each of your mythical fears.
Unrealistic expectations.
This is one of my unrealistic expectations.
How does it affect my sobriety efforts?
What,
If any,
Reason do I have to continue it?
What alternative behavior will I practice in place of it?
Do this exercise for each of your unrealistic expectations.
Perfectionism attitudes.
This is one of my perfectionism attitudes.
How does it affect my sobriety efforts?
What,
If any,
Reason do I have to continue it?
What alternative behavior will I practice in place of it?
Do this exercise for each of your perfectionism attitudes.
Comparisons.
This is one of my comparisons.
How does it affect my sobriety efforts?
What,
If any,
Reason do I have to continue it?
What alternative behavior will I practice in place of it?
Do this exercise for each of your comparisons.
Begin working on practicing changing your ideas to behaviors.
Remember,
It will take time to make the new behaviors habits,
But you are worth it.
Copyright 2017,
Lynn Baranius-Brown.
Published by Best Life Publications.
No part of this audio recording may be reproduced without permission from the copyright owner.
