Enhancing Recovery - Motivation

Enhancing Recovery is a series of 24 topics addressing the psychological and social aspects of successful, long-term sobriety. Enhancing Recovery is based on the course I developed and taught to recovering alcoholics. This lecture addresses Motivation.

Transcript

Welcome to Enhancing Recovery,

Part 1.

I'm Dr.

Lynn Brown.

Today's topic is motivation.

What is it?

Motive comes from the Latin motivus.

This means moving.

A motive is an inner drive that causes a person to act in a certain way.

So motivation is more than wishful thinking.

It is desiring a particular outcome,

Believing that your efforts will lead to the outcome,

And knowing why this outcome is important to you.

Motivation impels movement that becomes the willingness to act in a purposeful and persistent manner.

When you are properly motivated,

You know exactly where you want to end up,

Why,

And what needs will be filled.

You don't reach your goal just by wishing to.

Motivation is not willpower.

Willpower is having a certain belief,

But deciding to act in another way.

This causes tension that becomes so overpowering that the only release from this state of stress is either to slip into a severe reactive depression or to use.

And when alcohol or drugs are readily available,

It is almost universally utilized in obtaining relief.

Alcohol is used as a safety valve when attempting to use willpower to maintain recovery.

Using willpower is perhaps winning a few battles,

But ultimately losing the war.

You will spend a lot of time and energy fighting with yourself about whether or not to use.

So willpower is a technique that will assure you do what you don't want and when you don't want.

How do you get motivated?

The first step is to examine the reasons for desiring your goal.

Determine your motivators.

What is it in it for you to go through the process in order to achieve the result?

You have to believe you will come out ahead by going through the process.

How will you feel about yourself and your place in the world when it is done?

Are you going to change your lifestyle,

Your clothing style,

Your career,

Your home,

The way you approach life?

The changes that occur don't need to be major.

They just need to be important to matter to you.

Motivated behavior begins with needs,

And it is these needs that result in your being able to act in a goal-directed manner.

You must understand what your needs are and how continuing recovery will help you fill them.

Home to terms specifically with why you desire a particular goal.

By doing so,

Your focus will narrow,

Diminishing non-essential stimuli.

You can only perceive so many stimuli at one time on a conscious level.

So if you have a precise idea of what is important to you,

It will be easier not to see,

Not to pay attention to,

What has nothing to do with attaining your goal.

When you know exactly why you are doing something,

Everything else becomes vague,

Hazy,

And not as easily noticed and recognized.

You are only aware of what applies to you.

For example,

You drive down the same street each day,

But until you need to stop at a certain store,

You may not even have noticed it existed.

You can't be aware of everything around you,

And the way your brain decides what to be aware of is what you have determined is important to you,

What is a priority.

This in and of itself makes reaching your goal easier.

You need to examine your values and priorities.

What is important to you?

Your work,

Family,

Friends,

Church,

Clubs,

Causes,

How do they impact your desire to maintain sobriety?

What does being sober mean to you?

Determine what this is.

Remember that what is important to one person is not necessarily important to another.

No two of us are alike,

And no two of us can have the same reasons for wanting to make habit and attitude changes in order to achieve permanent sobriety.

And also remember that time alone can change the reasons for wanting to remain sober.

Living in life is constant.

In nature,

Everything is always changing,

And you are too.

You are not the same person you were a year ago.

You are constantly having experiences that alter your perceptions,

Attitudes,

And therefore your behavior.

You are forever growing as a person.

This must be taken into consideration when determining what is important to you.

You don't automatically assume that what you at one time valued and placed in a priority position in your life is still accurate.

When determining your motivators,

Don't depend upon what has always been.

Don't assume anything.

Listen to yourself.

All that matters is what is important to you at this time because you are always free to change what motivates you if time has caused an alteration in your life.

You must feel as though you don't have an alternative to sobriety,

That the only thing you can do is make the changes necessary for achieving your goal.

You must be focused.

You need reasons that are tailor-made for you.

In order to act in a specific way to encourage sobriety,

You need specific information regarding motivations for sobriety.

In other words,

When you are having a stare down with a substance,

I should stay sober just won't make it.

You will decide that you'll worry about staying sober tomorrow and use today.

So you need to know exactly why you want to remain sober.

When something is important to you,

You are vulnerable.

It is easy to talk about matters that don't mean a lot to you.

But when something truly is important to you on a gut level,

It becomes very important to you and you become concerned about what others think.

Your reasons for staying sober must be so personal,

So specific that each one is very valuable to you.

Second,

Be sure to state all of your reasons in positive terms.

In the long run,

Negative motivation doesn't work because it doesn't prepare you for what will be when you attain success.

All it does is remind you of what will be if you do not reach your goal.

Unfortunately,

Negative reasons and fear are the usual ways to attempt to get ourselves to stay sober.

We hope fear will compel us.

Your brain reacts differently to positive statements than to negative ones.

Negative statements begin taking you toward your goal because they take you somewhere specific for reasons that are important to you.

Since you have tens of thousands of thoughts each day,

The opportunity to view striving for your goal can either be made more difficult by perceiving it from a negative standpoint or can be made easier by continually planning for its eventuality.

We can all remember a situation that was extremely difficult for us to get through.

And we made it through because we knew exactly why it was important to do so and we had a hope for the future because of this information.

It's the same for sobriety.

Research as well as experience has shown that positive motivation is more efficient and longer lasting than negative motivation.

Your motivation must be positively directed.

The goals strived for should be stated positively.

So if I don't stay sober,

I'll lose my job can be changed to because I'm staying sober,

I'm confident I'll be working.

And if I don't stay sober,

I'm going to lose my family because staying sober provides the opportunity for me to spend quality time enjoying my family.

Maintaining sobriety is an opportunity,

But you must determine what it is an opportunity for.

Sobriety is a positive process that you have chosen to experience because of what you have determined will result and it should be viewed as such.

It is not deprivation or sacrifice.

You are moving toward a goal you have set for yourself.

How do you stay motivated?

It's one thing to get motivated,

But it is another to stay motivated.

In order to maintain your motivation to achieve long term sobriety,

You must be able to visualize your success,

Identify the habits and attitudes you want to change,

Constantly reinforce new habit patterns,

And be flexible enough to alter the specific and positive reasons for wanting to be sober as the need arises.

Let's examine each of these requirements one at a time.

First you need to visualize the result.

The key to success is visualizing the result as soon as you start working toward the goal.

You need to see yourself in your imagination achieving the results.

You have to start envisioning yourself as you want to be.

Research results are speculating that the subconscious part of the mind,

Which stores memories,

Can be compared to a computer.

Since it is continually being furnished with data from the conscious part of the brain,

It is continually being programmed.

It is unable to change information,

But sends back data from the conscious portion of the mind when needed.

As data are fed into the subconscious,

The detailed information is integrated,

So it can be recalled to the conscious part when needed in order to help reach a predetermined goal.

So the information you feed your subconscious will determine your behavior.

Therefore if you give your subconscious the idea that you are sober,

That you are living your goal daily,

You will exhibit behaviors that reinforce these concepts and ultimately you will find they have become reality.

Second,

Identify habits and attitudes that need to be changed.

In order to achieve long-term sobriety,

You need to know specifically what must be changed.

Also you need to take the time to identify the particular habits and attitudes that promote non-sobriety.

This is tedious but essential.

Also it is extremely important that you determine your specific cues.

Catalog the various situations in which these habits take place.

After determining the habits,

Attitudes and situational cues that are problem causing,

You can begin moving toward changing and reinforcing the new habit patterns.

Third,

Reinforce new habit patterns.

The habit patterns that promoted non-sobriety are so firmly established through repeated episodes that attempts to remove them by conscious effort,

Will power,

Creates extreme stress.

And this stress usually causes the old behavior pattern to return.

A much more effective way is by programming a new pattern into the subconscious mind until it becomes a strong conditioned response.

So during your sobriety program it is necessary to constantly reinforce new habit patterns you are learning.

We all engage in mental programming.

As an example,

Having an upcoming vacation.

During the months preceding your time off,

You think about the activities you will be doing during your vacation.

You plan for,

Anticipate and visualize them.

Therefore you establish a mental set for enjoying the vacation.

When the vacation actually arrives,

You automatically do many of the things you have visualized.

When applying this method to sobriety related habits,

Attitudes and situations,

You are inducing certain specific changes in your life patterns.

And fourth is the need for flexibility.

In order to maintain your motivation to achieve long term sobriety,

You must be able to change your reasons for going through the process as your situation changes.

The passage of time alone will necessitate an alteration in focus and priorities.

As time goes on there are changes in your schedule,

Lifestyle concerns,

Goals and relationships.

As you are experiencing any change in your life,

You will need to re-examine how it is altering your desire and motivation to stay sober.

If long term sobriety is no longer a positive aspect of your life,

Then it is time to re-examine your motives.

If you find they are no longer valid or have become less important to you,

Then you will need to start at the beginning by determining new specific and positive reasons for continuing to work toward the goal.

Remember,

As soon as long term sobriety becomes a ball and chain instead of an opportunity,

It is time to rethink your motivation.

Let's review.

What is motivation?

It is being able to act in a purposeful and persistent manner so you will have the willingness to keep going no matter what.

How do you get motivated?

You need to have a purpose.

You must keep your reasons alive.

They need to be meaningful for specific times and places.

You must have persistence.

You need to be willing to keep going.

If you deviate,

Forgive yourself,

Learn from it and keep going.

Remember,

You only get persistence when you have purpose.

Your reasons need to be specific.

They need to matter to you so much that they create an emotional reaction.

Your reasons must be stated in positive terms.

Start planning for what will be,

Not for what will happen if you don't achieve your goal.

How do you stay motivated?

You must visualize results,

Start making specific habit and attitude changes,

Reinforce these new habit patterns and be flexible.

You need to adjust to changes in lifestyle and priorities.

When you are motivated from an internal perspective that is based on specific reasons for wanting to maintain sobriety,

You are able to be persistent and you begin practicing your persistence.

You can see where you want to be.

So following your sobriety program becomes fairly easy because you are doing what it is you want to do for yourself.

You are striving for a particular goal that is important to you for reasons you understand.

We accept mediocrity because we don't take the time to decide what we really want and we fear and accept failure.

This results in self-imposed limits.

Children are unaware of the concept of failure until we tell them it exists.

When we learn something new,

We practice until we are satisfied.

Children don't impose limits on themselves.

Time is irrelevant and setbacks are considered part of the process.

We need to return to this health,

Success-enhancing attitude.

By incorporating a childlike vision with the experience that being an adult provides,

You have no alternative but to succeed.

Determining your motivators.

Identify at least five general reasons for wanting long-term sobriety.

Under each general reason,

List at least three specific reasons you can delineate from the general reason.

General reason,

I want to work full-time.

Specific reason,

I want to be financially independent,

I want to be able to use my talents and I want to make a difference in my field of work.

Maintaining your motivation.

Using the four characteristics of those who stay motivated,

Visualize results,

Identify habits and attitudes that need to be changed,

Reinforce new habit patterns and flexibility,

Take time to determine whom you see yourself as being as a long-term sober person.

When I visualize myself as a long-term sober person,

I see a person who is.

Next,

List up to 12 habits and attitudes you feel are no longer useful to you that are making attaining long-term sobriety difficult for you to achieve.

Write down why you no longer want to retain it,

Then determine what you will do instead.

And then,

Changes over time.

Take time each week to determine if any of your motivators have become less important to you.

If there has been a change,

Indicate why the reason is no longer valid and what specific and positive motivator you will put in its place.

Copyright 2017,

Lynn Baranius-Brown,

Published by Best Life Publications.

No part of this audio recording may be reproduced without permission from the copyright owner.