Welcome to Enhancing Recovery,
Part 2.
I'm Dr.
Lynn Brown.
Today's topic is How to Avoid Relapses.
Lapses are common while relearning habits and attitudes because there are always areas of unfinished work.
Until all of your addiction habits and attitudes are replaced by new ones,
There will be situations in which all you have are the old responses.
And you will have a tendency to be drawn toward doing what comes naturally,
Out of habit,
As long as the new habits are still weak.
A clear,
Loud signal that you are heading for a lapse is losing guilt-free behavior.
As soon as guilt comes into the picture,
You are setting yourself up to return to old habits.
But it doesn't have to.
It's just a sign,
A signal,
To remind you to pay attention,
That you are vulnerable,
That there is still more work to be done.
Remember that a lapse turns into a relapse only when you don't attend to it.
Attitudes that encourage relapses.
These attitudes are useful for anyone who is working on sobriety.
Watch out for them.
One attitude is a tendency to become complacent.
It is easy to begin believing that since you've been successful thus far,
That the program no longer needs to be top on your priority list.
You relax,
Thinking things will take care of themselves.
You forget that the new habits are not yet firmly entrenched.
Remember,
Until the new responses override the old,
You cannot afford to be complacent.
The sense of security that comes with initial short-term success is false.
Be on the lookout for it.
Cockiness can also become a problem.
You tempt yourself by going to a bar.
You buy alcohol to keep at home for your parents.
These situations and those like them are tests.
You put yourself in a situation that you know can be dangerous just to see what will happen.
This cockiness is a setup.
It's an excuse to not follow the program,
Because when you do this,
You are aware that there is a chance you'll succumb to the testing situation and drink.
Something is not a test unless you can fail it.
You are tested enough by people,
Situations and circumstances over which you do not have control.
From the time you arise to the time you go to bed,
You are being tested.
So don't test yourself when it isn't necessary.
As soon as you develop this attitude of,
I've got everything under control,
You are setting yourself up for a relapse.
Cockiness is exhibiting confidence externally while feeling fear internally.
When you actually do have everything under control,
Your attitude is confident peacefulness,
Not cockiness.
The third dangerous attitude is impatience.
This is common.
The long-term nature of change breeds impatience.
While others are complimenting us on how great we are doing,
We are still struggling with changing habits.
Your growing impatience brings a demanding attitude that leads to guilt feelings and can result in drinking.
It is important to be alert to the manifestations of impatience.
Remember that this time you want the sobriety program to work,
That this time you want to make all the necessary attitude and habit changes,
That this time you are committed to following through to the end,
And this will take time.
There are three attitude circumstances you must avoid in order to sidestep relapse.
The first is anger.
There is nothing wrong with the feeling of anger,
But most of us have never learned how to express anger constructively,
So often we turn anger against ourselves or against others.
To avoid relapses,
You need to be aware of anger,
Accept it,
And find some way to release it.
Letting out anger can be done through many different channels.
Talk it out with the person involved.
Talk it out with someone else.
Exercise,
Etc.
Find a way to function that will enable you to feel good about yourself.
Holding in anger leads to relapses,
And letting it out in a way unacceptable to you also leads to relapses.
The second is loneliness.
Many people are lonely.
This refers to isolating oneself.
Loneliness comes from the difficulty of reaching out.
This can have several causes,
One being that isolation was a childhood survival tool,
The other being emotional or clinical depression.
If loneliness is either a constant or a frequent companion of yours and you don't seem to be able to come out of it on your own,
You may want to speak to a professional in order to look at the underlying causes.
Often this isolation is a response resulting from being rejected by society.
So reach out.
No matter how flawed we humans are,
We are still a better source of companionship than alcohol.
The final circumstance is getting tired.
This comes from taking on too much and becoming overloaded and overwhelmed.
By overcommitting ourselves,
We leave little time for creating a relaxed atmosphere,
And we certainly don't provide the time required to seriously change habits and attitudes.
By constantly running,
We remain tired,
Run down,
On edge,
And in a hurry.
You have to avoid getting too tired,
Or you will go back to your old ways.
Here is what you'll want to think about to avoid relapses.
This is what I want to change regarding the attitudes that lead to relapses.
One,
I usually get complacent when.
When I get complacent,
I will in order to assure that sobriety remains a priority.
Two,
I usually get cocky when.
When I get cocky,
I will,
So I don't test myself unnecessarily.
Three,
I become impatient when.
When I become impatient,
I will,
So I'll remember that sobriety is a long-term process.
Four,
I'm going to avoid getting too angry by.
Five,
I'm going to avoid getting too lonely by.
And six,
I'm going to avoid getting too tired by.
Copyright 2017,
Lynn Baranus-Brown.
Published by Best Life Publications.
No part of this audio recording may be reproduced without permission from the copyright owner.
