Diet Talk - Developing Your Philosophy Of Food

DIET TALK is a series of 56 topics addressing the psychological and social aspects of successful, long-term weight management. DIET TALK is based on my NPR series. This lecture addresses developing your philosophy of food.

Transcript

Developing Your Philosophy of Food Developing a philosophy of food is important to anyone who is interested in attaining long-term weight management success.

Without it,

You will tend to make reactive rather than proactive decisions.

If you want to attain and then maintain your goal weight,

You need to have a comfortable relationship with food.

You need to understand the role you want food to play in your daily life,

So regardless of the circumstances,

You will have a foundation upon which to make your decisions.

Let's get started by discussing what a philosophy of food really is.

A philosophy of food is a set of guidelines,

Not rules,

That is a reference manual.

Each day we have about 12,

000 thoughts,

And every time you make a decision about anything at all with regard to any aspect of your life,

You have to base it upon something.

And what you base each decision upon is your internal source of information about yourself,

Who you see yourself as being,

And how you see yourself in relation to the rest of the world.

We are prone to being aware of this reference manual when it comes to most any decision we make in our lives,

Except for that of food.

In our society,

We have not been taught to take a stand to have opinions that are very personal regarding food.

Instead,

We are taught to listen to others,

And this starts very early in our lives.

We are taught to watch the clock,

We are taught to follow someone else's lead,

And we are not encouraged to make decisions that are personally appropriate.

I like to use the example of stealing.

By now in your life,

You have come to terms with where you stand on the issue of stealing.

You know whether you give back incorrect change,

Take pens from the office,

Report items to the lost and found,

Or rob stores.

The point is that you have established who you see yourself as being in relation to stealing.

So,

It doesn't matter whether it's your birthday,

You're tired,

It's Saturday,

You are in Hong Kong,

Ohio,

Or California,

Or are with someone whose standards are different from yours.

You will probably behave pretty much in line with whom you see yourself as being in relation to this issue.

So,

If you give back incorrect change,

Then you will probably do so,

Regardless of where you are,

Whom you are with,

How you are feeling,

Or any other external influence of cues.

Instead,

You listen to yourself.

Although it feels automatic,

You are listening to your reference manual,

Making a decision based on it and exhibiting a behavior that conforms to that decision.

This occurs because you have taken the time to develop an opinion.

Unfortunately,

Most of us have not taken the time to develop opinions about food.

And I think it is very important to each one of us to have a reference manual regarding food.

This reference manual is based upon your philosophy of food.

Part of having a philosophy of food is based upon being inner-directed.

In other words,

You want to make decisions that are appropriate for yourself.

And you are able to do this because you have taken the time to discover what your needs are and what you want.

Unfortunately,

Most of us are not encouraged to do this.

In this day and age,

We are bombarded on a daily basis with information about foods with regard to how,

From the physical standpoint,

They are good for us or not good for us.

We are nutritionally knowledgeable,

And I think this is important.

But we all know that we use food for more than fuel.

And because of this,

We must know how we feel about each particular food.

By doing this,

You are not influenced,

Not even bothered,

By anything external to you.

You need to have a coherent body of opinion that reflects your goals.

I believe that food must be more than the food itself.

It has to be something greater.

There has to be a meaning to it that goes beyond the confines of food as being what is required to keep you alive.

You need to have that body of information to be in line with whom you see yourself as being as a person.

I'd like to take a moment to define the word philosophy.

Philosophy as defined in Webster's new Universal Unabridged Dictionary is that of a study of the processes governing thought and conduct,

The general principles or laws of a field of knowledge or activity,

The particular system of principles for the conduct of life and a study of human morals,

Character and behavior,

And the mental balance believed to result from this,

That is,

Calmness and composure.

I want you to study yourself in relation to food.

This is because what you put into your mouth is dependent upon what is going on inside your head.

Food needs to be interwoven in your world.

It can't be something that stands alone,

Something that needs to be redefined quickly each time a decision is made with regard to what you're going to eat.

By having a philosophy of food,

You acquire the mental balance Webster is writing about.

You are calm and composed because you have taken the time to study yourself and what foods and behaviors in relation to these foods provide you,

A cohesiveness in your life.

I believe that developing a philosophy of food is very important.

As a matter of fact,

It is crucial to attaining permanent weight management.

It provides the framework upon which specific food choices can be made.

I always like to pose this question to people.

How do you know what to buy at the grocery store?

It sounds kind of silly when you first hear it,

But it really is a pretty thought-provoking question.

You have thousands of choices available to you when you walk in the door of a grocery store.

How can you be sure you're going to walk out of the grocery store with the specific foods that are going to meet your needs and allow you to feel comfortable with your use of food?

That is why I am stressing developing a philosophy of food.

Without having taken the time to evaluate yourself,

Your needs,

Your lifestyle,

And the role you want food to play in your life,

You do not have the knowledge that is required in order to go up and down the aisles and feel the calmness,

Composure,

And inner peace that will allow you to leave the grocery store feeling comfortable.

Your philosophy of food is based upon a set of values regarding food.

In our society,

As sophisticated as it is,

Food is available to us 24 hours a day,

7 days a week.

And I'm not just talking about in our homes,

We have restaurants and grocery stores that are continually open.

We can even purchase food at gas stations.

You can stop and fill up your car with gas and buy your groceries at the same time.

You cannot escape being bombarded by food queues,

Television,

Radio,

Newspapers,

Billboards,

Grocery stores,

Restaurants.

Everywhere you are told,

You are encouraged to purchase and or eat food.

This is one of the reasons why millions of Americans have a weight problem.

Most of us are unaware of the fact that we are responding,

Whether we like it or not,

To these external food queues.

Unless we are inner directed,

Unless we have taken the time to determine what role we want food to play in our lives and what that means when it comes to specific foods,

We are all going to fall prey to these external queues.

You don't want to be reactive.

You want to be proactive,

And I can't stress this too much.

Think about all the reasons you have given and heard others give for why food choices are made,

Such as,

It was served,

It looked good,

And it was the special.

There are as many reasons as there are people.

And when you listen to these reasons,

You will notice that most inevitably,

They are external.

They are a result of a response to something that has happened external to self.

We are also bombarded by internal queues,

That is,

Those habits we have developed over the years.

If as a child you were provided a certain food as a reward,

You are very likely to respond to that internal queue by engaging in that habit as an adult.

I am not here to blame anyone for the habits they have now.

It wouldn't do any good.

As far as I'm concerned,

The only thing that matters is that there are some habits and attitudes,

Some ideas about food,

That you are no longer comfortable with,

And it is those that will be altered by developing your philosophy of food.

The internal queues have resulted in habits,

Some of which are positive for you,

That work for you,

That you are going to keep.

But they need to be consciously kept.

So the concept of being proactive instead of reactive is imperative.

You want to remember that you always have choices.

My clients respond positively when I discuss the concept of choices.

Many people come to me feeling as though they no longer have choices.

They find themselves responding and saying,

I don't know what happened.

All of a sudden I found myself eating.

When we slow down for a moment,

We realize that every behavior is a result of choice.

It is amazing how thinking about that makes us feel empowered.

It is wonderful.

No matter what you do,

You do it because of choice.

Granted,

In our lives,

Not every option that is made available to us is viable.

But the fact remains that we always have choices.

So we must remember that every time we engage in any behavior,

It is a result of referring to the manual we have within ourselves to get information that assists us in making a decision,

In making a choice.

By realizing that you are making choices all the time,

It reminds you that you need to be proactive in the significance of that concept.

Another reason why it is important to have a philosophy of food is that without a philosophy,

Life when it comes to food,

Can be very confusing.

We are constantly put into food situations.

If we are not composed,

If we don't have that sense of inner peace that comes from being grounded from having that foundation,

Most any food situation can cause anxiety.

Most people come to me feeling out of control.

Maybe you have felt that way.

Maybe you have felt that way often.

This is the result of wandering about,

Of never really knowing who you are and therefore having no particular base from which to make a decision.

Going back to the example of stealing I used a while ago,

If you don't know where you stand on giving back incorrect change,

Then each time you are faced with that choice,

You have no idea what you are supposed to do,

What is appropriate for you.

So there will be times you will give back incorrect change and times when you won't.

You will be vacillating and this causes anxiety.

This is one reason why habits are so comfortable.

When something is a habit,

We don't have to think about it anymore and that's pretty significant.

But,

You want your habit to be one that you have chosen.

Without positive habits and positive attitudes,

Positive being defined as being based on personal appropriateness,

Your life is filled with uncertainty.

Even when it comes to food,

You are faced with uncertainty many times each day.

Without a grounded philosophy of food,

You have no idea what the outcome of each choice is going to be.

You are waiting around to find out what will happen,

To discover how you feel about the decision.

This causes you to associate food with feeling uncertain and negative about your ability to make choices that make you feel comfortable.

Having a philosophy of food allows you to feel sure of yourself,

To know what is appropriate for yourself,

To know what role you want food to play in your life and to know what your opinion is with regard to hard cheese or pretzels or oranges or pork or spinach.

It doesn't matter where you are in the world,

Hong Kong,

Ohio or California.

It can be a weekday,

A weekend or a holiday.

You can be with whomever you want to be with.

You are free to enjoy food and therefore it enhances your enjoyment of life.

You are uninfluenced by where you are,

Whom you are with or how you are feeling and that is wonderful.

How do you go about determining your philosophy of food?

Well,

The first thing I have my clients do is to start listening,

Listening to their inner voice.

When we're born,

We are so smart.

I'm sure many of you have had children.

You notice something when they're born.

You have no power at all.

That concept can be surprising for the first time parent.

You have no power at all.

That small new child is in complete control when it comes to his or her internal world.

That child lets you know when he or she is hungry.

That child will not stop letting you know and that child will stop eating when he or she is full.

It doesn't matter how you cajole,

That child is going to stop when he or she is full and that little baby is going to enjoy eating.

So when we are born,

We eat when we are hungry,

Stop when we are full and have a great time while we're doing it.

But something happens along the way.

Those tall people start telling us how much to eat,

When we need to eat and they don't let us have much fun with our food.

They make us stop playing with our peas and discourage us from getting cookie all around our mouths.

I believe that as adults,

We are just as smart as we were when we were born.

Your inner voice is still telling you when you are hungry,

When you are full and is still encouraging you to enjoy food.

Yet,

Somewhere along the way,

Most of us have gotten deaf to that voice.

We have started responding almost entirely to those external cues and not listening.

And your body is accurate.

A newborn doesn't overeat or under eat and always enjoys the experience.

And it is the inner voice that I encourage you to listen to.

I do this by having each client notice how they feel,

Not think,

About every interaction they have with and every thought they have about food.

For example,

You may discover that you enjoy having a mid-afternoon snack but aren't always pleased with the food choices you make or the quantity you consume.

Or you may find that your eating habits in general are okay,

But you overeat.

Don't let your head,

These shoulds and ought tos,

Rule.

Instead,

Become aware of the feelings that emerge when you eat.

Many of the interactions you are having with food are personally appropriate.

They work for you and you will probably be keeping some of the attitudes that are reflected by these behaviors.

Each day you make some food choices that allow you to interact with foods in the way they feel comfortable.

But there are other interactions that don't feel good,

That make it difficult for you to get to and maintain the weight you want to be.

Noticing both types of interactions is the best place to start.

Now let's discuss the steps to determining your philosophy of food.

First,

You need to determine what role you want food to play in your life.

For example,

Do you want to just eat your three meals a day and use food primarily as fuel?

Or are you a person who loves to eat,

Who needs to interact with food quite often and who perhaps enjoys shopping for food,

Cooking and creatively presenting food?

These are examples of extremes.

You probably belong somewhere between the two.

But keep in mind that there is no right or wrong here.

What is important is that you decide what role you want food to play in your life.

For example,

I have had clients who feel that food has been too important to them,

Who would rather have it be less significant and to take up less spare time in their world.

Others have been afraid of food and have therefore been avoiding it as much as possible.

But this often leads to feelings of deprivation followed by binging.

They want to enjoy food and have it play a big part in their lives,

Giving them enjoyment,

Fulfillment and satisfaction.

Whatever role you want food to play is fine as long as you determine what you want it to do for you.

Second,

Determine in which facets of your life you want your relationship with food to play an important part.

Some clients use food to express political beliefs.

Some are spiritual and want food to reflect this.

Others feel that health is a priority and want to provide their body with fuel they feel will enhance their functioning.

I remember a client for whom being a role model for her children was very important.

She decided she wanted her use of food to provide a positive example for her children.

Not only did she improve her habits and develop a positive attitude toward eating,

But she felt she became a better parent because she was at peace with herself.

She started treating her children with more kindness,

Love and patience.

For another client,

Image as a professional was important.

By using a particular image as the basis for food choices,

This person was able to more easily make decisions that were personally appropriate.

Now is the time for you to determine in which facets of your life you want food to be important.

Third,

You need to decide what you expect food to do for you.

Is it fuel?

Or does it provide the sensory sensations that add enjoyment to your life?

In other words,

What needs do you want food to fill?

For example,

Some clients feel that health is an important issue.

These individuals look to food to assist in attaining and maintaining a level of health that will allow them to live life to its fullest.

For others,

Food is an integral part of their lifestyle.

It is the glue that binds friendships.

It is the hobby that provides creative satisfaction.

Take some time to determine what you expect food to do for you and why you want food to fill these needs.

Step four of developing a philosophy of food is deciding which foods you feel are important to you and must be a part of your life.

Perhaps you are like one of my clients who loves pizza and couldn't imagine living life without it.

Or maybe ice cream is one of the significant foods in your life.

Be honest with yourself.

Now is not the time for pretenses and shoulds.

Remember,

No food has value until you place a certain value on it.

Fifth,

Take each food on the list you have made and decide how often you need to have how much of what kinds in order for that food to meet your needs and fill the role you expect it to in your life.

Sixth,

Determine which foods you have decided are inappropriate for you and will therefore be excluded from your life.

Some clients decide red meat is in this category.

Others choose sugary or salty foods.

Decide for yourself which foods do not fit into your world.

Seventh,

Then take each food on that list and explain why you feel it is personally inappropriate and doesn't fill the role you expect it to.

The last step,

Number eight,

Will require quite a long time to complete.

This step is taking all the specific categories of foods you can think of and determining how each will fit into your eating pattern.

Here are some suggested categories,

Bread,

Fish,

Red meat,

Poultry,

Pork,

Milk,

Cheese,

Butter,

Margarine,

Oils,

Eggs,

Yogurt,

Mayonnaise,

Peanut butter,

Caffeine,

Vegetables,

Deli fruits,

Fruits,

Fruit juices,

Cakes,

Cookies,

Ice cream,

Nuts,

Seeds,

Candy,

Chocolate,

Chips,

Popcorn,

Flavored carbonated drinks,

Fast food,

Alcoholic beverages,

Pasta,

Rice,

Noodles,

Potatoes,

Breakfast cereals,

And pizza.

Now,

Let's review the eight steps to developing your philosophy of food.

Step one,

You need to determine what role you want food to play in your life.

Step two,

Determine in which facets of your life you want your relationship with food to play an important part.

Step three,

You need to decide what you expect food to do for you.

Step four,

Decide which foods you feel are important to you and must be a part of your life.

Step five,

Take each food on the list you have made and decide how often you need to have how much of what kinds in order for that food to meet your needs and fill the role you expect it to in your life.

Step six,

Determine which foods you have decided are inappropriate for you and will therefore be excluded from your life.

Step seven,

Take each food on that list and explain why you feel it is personally inappropriate and doesn't fill the role you expect it to.

Step eight,

Take all the specific categories of food you can think of and determine how each will fit into your eating pattern.

After completing all eight steps,

You will be well on your way to finding yourself making personally appropriate food choices on a consistent basis.

And it is this behavior pattern that promotes long-term weight management.

Your goal is as follows.

In order for me to have a personally appropriate relationship with food and therefore feel comfortable with how I use it,

I need to determine my philosophy of food.

I will use this information as a basis for my food decisions.

It will be my reference manual regarding food and I will look to it to help me make food choices.

These are guidelines,

Not rules.

I am free to change my opinion regarding the use of any food whenever the original opinion is no longer useful to me.

My philosophy of food is personal and private and I need not share any of it with another person.

What goes into my mouth is dependent upon what is going on in my head.

Reviews

Great! Thank you!