Strategies To Sleep Better (Live Recording)

Learn ideas that will help you create an inviting environment to sleep better, communicate with your partner about sleeping arrangements and what you really need, help your kids sleep better so that you can get a good night's sleep, and other strategies that worked for me and my family.

Transcript

Bell Bell Bell Bell Bell Bell Bell Good morning,

Nikki from Canada.

Buenos dias,

Cecilia,

How are you?

Happy Thursday everybody.

Hello from Switzerland.

Good morning,

Esme and Beth from Virginia.

Hello from the UK.

Hi Mark,

How are you doing?

Thank you guys for joining in today in this live session.

If you are new,

If this is your first time doing a live with me,

Please let me know.

Hi Mark.

Yeah,

So that I can say hi and I can see your face.

My name is Emilio Jose Garcia and I do live sessions every week.

And today's topic is all about sleeping.

Who does love sleeping here?

And how many hours do you need of sleep every night?

In my case,

I love sleeping and I need at least eight hours.

I think less than eight hours I feel it.

I feel that I could use more of that.

But some people need seven,

Some people need nine,

Some people need six,

Some people need ten.

I don't know.

Like how many hours would you say you need?

I enjoy your life.

Thank you,

Cecilia.

Good day from Sun Valley.

Seven to eight hours.

Beth,

I'm like you seven to eight.

I think more on to the eight.

Eight hours.

So that's one third of our day,

Guys.

One third of our day is spent sleeping.

Eight to nine is golden.

Christine,

Yeah.

Nine hours is really nice.

I don't enjoy sleep time.

I get anxious.

Nine hours.

So Mark,

You say that you get anxious with sleep time.

Why is that?

I can't pass four hours.

Nicky,

Why can't you pass four hours right now?

What's going on?

Between eight and nine,

Cecilia,

Bad sleep is essential.

Me too,

Anxious.

Yeah,

So that's why today I want to talk about sleeping.

Because there are so many angles that we need to look at when we are trying to sleep better.

Meditation has helped me sleep better for sure.

Absolutely.

And that's the emotional and mental angle,

Right?

Insomnia.

Nicky,

Do you know why you have insomnia?

Have you meditated on it?

Have you kind of go deep into understanding why you have insomnia?

What's happening?

Is it like a physical condition?

Is it like a mental and emotional condition?

So when we try to sleep well,

There are,

So the physical aspect is one of them,

Okay?

The physical aspect involves how bright or dark your room is.

It involves how cold or how warm your room is.

How noisy or how quiet your room is.

The physical environment that you have in your bedroom is so important.

Sometimes people have a lot of clutter surrounding their bedroom so that they never can relax because they are always looking at that and feeling disease,

Feeling like not easy.

They cannot sleep well because they are surrounded by things that they are supposed to finish,

Things that they have to clean up,

Stress,

Anxiety and depression issues.

Good morning from NH.

Good morning,

Lenore.

Thank you,

Nicky,

For sharing.

So the physical is one of them,

Okay?

So understanding what you need to sleep well.

What kind of covers do you need?

What kind of temperature works better for you?

What kind of environment do you like?

Darkness?

Or do you like brightness?

Okay,

Good morning,

Emilio and all.

Insomnia?

I need this.

Hi,

Sue.

Hopefully you can get some ideas from today's life.

So that's one.

The physical is so important.

In my personal case,

Too,

Sharing the sleeping space with my partner is also another layer of complexity,

Right?

Because my partner,

Samantha,

She needs a thousand covers to stay warm.

She likes being very,

Very warm.

And if I share the same amount of covers than she does,

Then I am sweating and I am not comfortable.

Another thing that happens between us is that I move a lot.

I just move.

I like moving.

And every time I move,

I am taking the covers with me.

So that's a frustration that she was experiencing,

Okay?

I am a very picky sleeper,

But I have figured out what I need.

Amazing,

Beth.

Hola,

Emilio.

It's my first time here.

Hi,

Tere.

Welcome to the life.

And it is when your husband snores very loud.

Yeah,

Violet,

That's another layer,

Right?

That in my case,

Likely we don't snore,

But I have unpleasant dreams and keep waking up during sleep hours.

One thousand covers.

Yeah.

So that's that's one of part of this life.

A very important piece is the communication.

If you are sharing your sleeping space with someone else,

With your partner,

It's so important to really support each other and understand what each one needs.

When we started feeling frustrations and we said we are not sleeping well anymore together,

What can we do?

We started researching ideas,

Right?

And we started sharing with everybody else what's happening because no one really talk about it.

And we thought that we were the only ones having problems.

So we started sharing with friends and I can tell you that every single couple that we talked to,

They had something to say.

One couple,

They were sleeping separately for years.

She sleeps in the basement and he sleeps in the attic because they snore.

So they couldn't handle that snoring anymore.

And the happy balance was to say we get together to do our happy business every now and then.

But then when it comes time to sleep,

We separate physically because they cannot handle the snoring.

OK,

Another couple,

We went to visit them.

And then when we brought up the topic,

They say,

Come with us.

They took us to their bedroom and they had what it looked like a king size bed.

OK.

And we say,

OK,

That's great.

A king size bed.

Amazing.

So they had they pulled the covers up,

The main cover,

The top one.

It was a thin blanket.

And below that,

Guess what they had?

Two twin size beds put together.

So they each had their own mattress.

They each had their own covers.

And then they put on top of that a sheet to cover everything.

OK,

So that's another thing that,

Wow,

Like if you don't tell me,

I will never tell that that's how you guys sleep.

So what I'm saying here is that sleeping is it's important and everybody needs different things,

Especially in partnerships,

Having your own sleeping space.

Sometimes it's a good idea.

And in some countries in North Europe,

For example,

That's the norm.

You go into a bedroom and everybody has their own bed,

Separate bed.

They don't have a shared bed space.

So that's I think.

So best says my husband needed a better mattress for his back.

We got it,

But it was very hot.

So we want to cool our mattress,

A cooler,

Not cheap,

But we say for it.

It has two temperature zones and works well for both of us.

Thank you so much,

Beth,

For sharing.

So that's another another thing,

The temperature,

Right?

That must be loud for the distance of separation.

My husband snore.

He got a see puff machine.

It's amazing.

He feels much better also.

Yeah,

Guys.

How many of you have the belief that sleeping separately means that your marriage is ending?

How many of you feel that way?

We are redoing the spare room,

I guess.

So Violet,

I do.

Yes,

Me,

I do.

So that's a huge belief.

OK,

That's a huge belief that we all have.

And let's question that belief.

Why do we have that belief?

Who came up with the idea that that was the way to go?

And why is that the right belief to have?

I know my former husband did.

Yeah.

So just imagine that you are frustrated.

OK,

You and your partner don't find a way to sleep well,

So you don't get a good night's sleep.

It seems more intimate to sleep in the same room.

But Violet,

Is it really more intimate?

Like if you are frustrated with each other,

You don't get a good night's sleep,

Would you say that you're going to be sexy with the other person or you are going to be frustrated with the other person?

I wear earplugs as there is traffic noises.

So the friends that they told us that they were sleeping separately,

They actually told us that when they started sleeping separately,

They were having way more sex.

They were having way more visits to each other.

And that tension,

That sexual tension appeared again.

OK,

And we were like,

Wow,

That's so interesting to hear because the belief of like,

Oh,

If you are sleeping separately,

That means that your marriage is ending.

It doesn't have to be true because in other countries,

That's not true.

That's not the norm.

The norm is that everybody has their own sleeping space,

Sometimes in the same bedroom,

Sometimes in separate bedrooms.

And that doesn't mean that your marriage is ending at all.

It's quite the opposite sometimes.

You are promoting your self-space,

You are promoting the health of each individual and you are understanding that our needs are different when it comes to sleeping.

And that has nothing to do with sex,

With our relationship,

Right?

That has something to do with how we enjoy sleeping.

That's all.

My mom and dad never slept together and had an awful marriage.

I always said I would always sleep with my husband no matter what.

Now I am rearranging my office to put a bed in because my husband wakes me up all night.

Yeah,

Beth.

And again,

This is not about extremes,

Right?

Everybody has different needs.

I'm just inviting you to,

If you are frustrated and you don't get a good night's sleep,

I invite you to be open-minded,

To be curious about just trying something else.

Okay?

And challenge any belief that is stopping you from just trying.

You don't have to do it permanently.

But what happens if you try an idea and all of a sudden you get an amazing night's sleep?

You wake up in the morning and you are like,

Wow,

I feel so good.

I feel so energized.

My mood is so good because I had rest.

Okay?

And then all of a sudden your day is going to look so much different.

So what happens if you could find a recipe that allows you to feel that way?

And that can be sleeping in the same bedroom.

That can be a separate bedroom.

That can be changing the temperature.

That can be putting blinds that block the light.

That can be changing your room to a room that is less noisy due to traffic.

That can be changing the covers that you use.

That can be having a bedtime routine.

And now we are going to go into the mental and emotional angle of it.

Okay?

The physical angle is one.

And we talk about it.

Separate bedroom,

Same bedroom,

Kind of mattress,

Temperature,

Darkness or light,

Noise or quietness.

Not having electronic devices that distract you with light.

What else is physical?

The snoring aspect of it if you are sleeping with your partner.

The clatter that you may have around your bedroom that is bugging you.

So if you don't feel well and you don't feel relaxed in your bedroom,

It's very difficult to get a good night's sleep.

If the last thing that you see when you go to bed is mess and you wake up to see mess,

How relaxed are you going to be?

Honestly,

How relaxed are you going to be?

Okay,

I agree with you.

Sleeping alone is a better option.

Violet,

I'm not saying that this is a better or a worse option.

I'm just saying that it's an idea that you can try if you are not sleeping well right now.

So there is not a right or wrong approach here.

And this is what I want you guys to understand.

There is not a right or wrong approach here.

We all are going to need different things.

Okay?

Some people like sleeping with noise.

Some people like complete quietness.

Some people like sleeping with light and being waking up with the light at 6am.

Some people love having curtains that are completely dark.

Or they even wear a mask,

An eye mask,

Right?

Some people don't care about snoring.

Some people go crazy with snoring.

Again,

It's all about understanding yourself,

Understanding your needs,

Understanding your partner's needs and finding that happy balance.

Okay?

I am dying for deep sleep.

I am a light sleeper.

I wake up with just a little noise.

I get angry and want to smother him.

Yeah,

So let's look at the.

.

.

So we look at the physical aspect of it,

Okay?

And again,

Be curious about it.

Try different things.

Try different things with the physical aspect and see what fits you best.

Sometimes change completely the environment if you need to for a night or two and see how you sleep.

Maybe go to a different room.

Maybe go to a friend's home.

Maybe go to the couch.

Maybe,

I don't know,

Try something different,

Right?

And see how you feel and then start testing ideas and see which one fits you best.

When it comes to the emotional and mental angle,

That's a little bit more tricky because some of you have mentioned,

I am anxious.

I am a light sleeper.

I have nightmares.

So all these things have to do with how you feel internally,

Okay?

And it's important to maybe create a bedtime routine.

A bedtime routine involves maybe stepping away from devices one hour prior to going to bed.

Maybe it's to create a beautiful sleeping sanctuary where you feel calm,

Where the environment is just nice,

Inviting,

Relaxing to you.

Maybe you listen to an inside timer sleep meditation or maybe you do a meditation in silence if that feels good to you.

Or maybe you have a nice conversation with your partner about something that you enjoy or maybe you read a nice book that you enjoy.

Try to do something to calm your mind down,

To relax your mind,

Okay?

What do you guys enjoy doing to calm your mind?

Just share activities that calm your mind and share if you have any kind of bedtime routine.

I sleep with sound too,

Water sounds.

See?

Some people enjoy sleeping with some sort of sounds and you can create,

You can use a device that has a timer and then maybe after half an hour or one hour it just turns off,

Right?

A warm bath before.

Yeah,

A warm bath is so nice to relax physically your body and then your mind gets in that state of like,

Okay,

It's time to unwind.

It's time to relax.

I decide to take time for myself.

When the sun goes down,

I put on my amber glasses.

Amazing,

I guess that's to make things brighter,

Beth.

Inside timer has great bedtime stories that helps a lot.

Amazing bedtime stories.

I read before bed and listen to IT sleep meditation.

So all these strategies.

IT has wonderful sleep meditation.

Wake up to screen asking for feedback.

Can't say.

Fell asleep.

I do meditation before sleep.

Sometimes I make it all the way through.

It has gotten easier as I've done more.

Yeah.

Oh,

The filter,

The blue light.

Okay.

Yeah,

So all these bedtime routines,

Again,

Be curious,

Be willing to try,

Especially for those of you who who mentioned that you have anxiety,

You are feeling depressed,

You are feeling like all these emotional feelings that don't let you go to sleep and get a nice night sleep.

I'll try anything.

Start being curious and start testing ideas.

Having a bedtime routine is very,

Very important.

I would recommend stepping out of your devices.

In our case,

We created a few years ago,

We create a no phones in the bedroom routine.

So we never have our phones in our bedroom at nighttime,

Neither in the morning time.

So we don't go to sleep with our phones,

Looking at stuff and we don't wake up to look at our phones at staff.

We put it outside in the living room.

We have a cabinet,

A charging station,

And then we put it in there.

Okay.

I have a phone that is this one that I only use to do my inside time and lives.

And if I wanted to listen to something at nighttime,

I will use this device that the only thing that has is inside timer and Spotify.

That's all I have to listen to things.

It doesn't have emails,

Doesn't have social media,

Doesn't have anything else.

I also have an old fashioned iPod that I upload sometimes music in there,

Meditations and things like that.

And that allows me to be intentional about what I want to listen to.

So that's another idea.

If you are feeling yourself being anxious and you find yourself scrolling and looking at things that trigger you at nighttime,

Maybe removing that can help you unwind,

Can help you relax.

How do you guys feel about this idea?

How many of you sleep with your phone beside you?

And how many of you sleep without the phone in the bedroom?

I'm just curious to know.

IPad.

What about sleep in kids?

My 10 year old still is waking up in the middle of the night looking for me.

That's another big topic.

Sleeping with kids.

In our case,

I do,

But I have it on do not disturb.

So Violet,

That's another idea.

Again,

If you find that your phone is not interrupting your sleep,

Then it's fine.

But so many times if you find yourself not being intentional about how you use your phone and the phone is preventing you from from sleeping well,

If your phone is ringing beside you,

If your phone is has blinking light,

Or if you see you sense that you have the urge to check your phone in the middle of the night to see what's happening,

Then I will say that you can benefit from trying this idea of removing the phone from the environment altogether.

So that you don't have access to it.

And then it's not convenient.

And then get an old fashioned alarm clock,

And then just give it a try.

Again,

There is not a right or wrong approach here.

These are all ideas that you have to be willing to try.

And some of them will work,

Some of them won't.

But again,

If you are frustrated,

I think trying different approaches can be very helpful.

Yeah,

I need the phone next to me for inside timer emergency calls.

An overactive mind and constant overthinking keeps me from sleeping soundly and fully.

So Monique,

That's your answer,

Right?

You have an overactive mind and constant overthinking.

So you have to try and find a strategy that works for you to relax your mind,

To calm your mind,

To stop thinking so much.

And that can be in the form of a nice meditation,

That can be in the form of getting organized and setting the intentions that feel good to you in every area of your life so that you feel in control.

And then you don't have to keep worrying about things.

That can be about having a clear to do list,

Like a strategy that you understand that you can write down everything in there and you don't have to remember everything in your head and everything is taken care of.

So again,

When you are feeling this mental overwhelm,

It is because your mind is dispersed in many different train thoughts.

And every train thought is going towards an area of your life that is bugging you,

It's bothering you,

You are worried about,

You are anxious about.

Maybe it's about something that you are afraid of that can happen in the future.

Maybe it's about a memory that you had in the past that you constantly go there and that triggers you emotionally to feel a specific way.

So when you can start connecting with the present moment rather than being in the future or in the past,

So feeling anxious about what can happen or feeling depressed or feeling trauma or feeling any other emotions about what happened in the past that you cannot change.

When you can be in the present moment,

You are going to be able to relax,

You are going to be able to start embracing what's happening now,

Accepting how you are feeling now and stop placing your energy and your attention in other places that are not serving you.

That's why there are so many meditation strategies,

There are so many things that you can try.

Melatonin for short term disruptions such as travel,

Long term,

May less.

Yeah,

So some other things that you can also pay attention to is try to get tired during the day,

Especially for those of you who are light sleepers,

Try to do exercise,

Try to don't nap during the day,

Try to change your routine during the day to see how that affects your sleep.

They also say that getting out and getting like sunshine for a couple hours every day if you can,

That also can help you with your circadian rhythm,

Right,

That the body understands,

Okay,

It's bright,

Now it's time to be awake and then when it's dark,

It's time to sleep.

So that promotes that cycle to keep flowing.

And it's important to create that routine that your body understands and that routine that you feel well with.

For some of you,

In my case,

I normally go to bed at 11pm,

The latest,

And then I normally wake up at 6,

6.

30 and I get up at 7,

7.

30.

That's my body routine,

Right?

If I try to do something different than that,

I do notice a difference.

I do notice a difference in my energy,

I do notice a difference in my performance.

So that's my,

My rhythm,

My circadian rhythm,

Right?

So in your case,

Try to understand what your rhythm is,

Okay?

And if you don't have one established,

Maybe that's what you need to work on,

Maybe you have to get started creating a routine that always kind of follows the same pattern.

And that will allow your body to relax,

To understand what's happening,

And then to relax when it's time to relax and to be active when it's time to be active.

Because if the body doesn't know and your schedule is all over the place,

Your body is in constant,

Like it's confused,

Right?

You don't know what to do.

Is it time to sleep?

Is it time to relax?

Is it time to be active?

Like if you set a schedule,

Then it's nice for you to do that.

Some people say try diffusing essential oils such as lavender or other sleep blends.

Yeah,

That's a great technique.

If you,

If you enjoy the smell of things,

That can be something that you can try for sure.

And then let's go to the kids situation.

Because this is something that can disrupt your sleep a lot.

And when we had our daughter,

Eva,

I remember that we love sleeping and we are very affected with lack of sleep.

So of course,

When she was born,

The first two months,

It's all over the place,

You have to take care of her.

She doesn't have any schedule.

Okay,

So you just have to deal with it.

You just have to go through that time and you just have to accept that that's the way it is.

So in my case,

My wife and I,

We took turns,

She was sleeping three or four hours and then I was sleeping three or four hours and then she was breastfeeding.

So that kind of was chaos during the first two months because my daughter wasn't able to create a routine yet.

But then after two months,

We did sleep training with her and we follow a book that a friend recommended and a friend that has three kids,

Three kids.

And she has done this method with the three kids as she has.

And we went to her home one time and we saw how they went to sleep.

And we asked her like,

What did you do to make this a reality?

Because this is amazing.

Kids go to sleep alone.

They understand how to do it.

So the book is called 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old.

Okay,

So 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old.

That's the book that we followed.

And the book basically says that kids need to sleep 16 hours a day.

That means 12 hour chunk during the night.

Okay,

12 and then two hour nap in the morning and one hour nap.

So one hour nap in the morning and two hour nap in the in the evening.

So that's 12,

13,

14,

15.

Yeah,

Between 15 and 16 hours.

That's what they recommend.

And then when the child starts growing,

They will let go of the nap in the morning and then three or four years old,

They will normally let go of the nap in the in the middle of the day.

But normally 12 hours sleep at night.

It's it's normally what they need.

The other roommates a significant difference in understanding what affects my sleep.

I had insomnia for 25 years.

Now I sleep much better.

Also for women have your progesterone tested.

I'm not familiar with the order ring.

To be honest,

Lisa,

If you can share more about that,

Because I don't know what that is.

It helped me track how all of the things I was trying.

Yeah.

If you want to explain more about what that is,

I will be curious to know.

OK,

I make CBD oil candy.

My friend takes it when she wakes up at 3 p.

M.

And sleeps another five hours.

OK,

Another strategy to try.

I I personally think that we should be able to find our rhythm.

And ideally you can get a good night's sleep without having to do anything crazy or anything special.

Basically,

Like your mind has the capacity to relax itself and to go to sleep.

So you should find a way without needing a lot of external influence to be able to sleep better.

Gabor made a trauma specialist talks about how harmful it is to let children cry themselves to sleep.

It is an American method that I do believe is harmful.

So Amy,

About that,

About kids and.

Yeah.

So what we did,

The method that we follow is that when she was two months old and she had a specific weight,

We started to distance the fittings.

OK.

And then we started to teach her how to sleep alone.

And kids don't know how to sleep.

They are born.

They don't know how to sleep.

And then when they are left alone,

They will experience anxiety.

They will experience like why they are abandoning me,

What's going on,

Because they don't know.

Right.

So this technique is you leave your child in the in the.

In the bed,

OK,

In the in the crib in this case,

Because she was in a crib for two years.

And then you just say you just do a bedtime routine.

Normally we did a bath and then we had some music and then we put the pajamas on and then we read a story and then we put her to bed and then we turn off the light and then we say good night and then we leave.

OK.

And then at the beginning,

Of course,

She cried because she doesn't know what's going on.

So we just put the timer for two minutes.

OK,

Two minutes.

And then we let her ask for us or cry.

And then after two minutes we go inside and then we just touch her.

We say,

Don't worry.

You are OK.

We are here.

Do you need anything?

So we stay there until she calms down.

OK.

And then we leave the room again.

And then she may cry again for another.

She may start crying.

So you put the timer for two minutes and then you go in after two minutes.

So what's happening here?

What's happening is that you are you are letting the child experience what it is to be alone in the room.

But you are not letting that child have an hour alone.

You are not abandoning that child.

You are going back and you are saying this is OK.

You are OK.

You are safe.

We are here.

Do you need anything?

You touch the head.

You do whatever you want.

Sing a song.

And then when they are calm,

You leave.

We did that a few times.

And then she started sleeping and she understood what sleeping was.

And then once we have the routine down,

She slept 12 hours every night,

12 hours,

Guys,

Every night,

Since she was two months old.

So two months we started the training and then three months old,

12 weeks old.

She was sleeping 12 hours a day at nighttime,

One hour in the morning at two hours in the middle of the day.

So we took that routine and we were able to go to friends' homes and we will recreate the routine there.

We will say,

Eva,

We put the music,

We put the pyjamas on and then we put her in the crib and she will go to sleep.

And then when we are done having fun with our friends,

We will take her,

Transfer to the car,

Transfer to home and then she will just keep sleeping.

OK,

So there are a thousand sleeping routines that you can try.

OK,

We did that specific one because we saw a friend that did it three times successfully.

Every child is different,

Of course,

And every situation is going to be unique.

But the thing that I took away from that training is that kids need to experience what it is to be alone,

But not to the point that it's traumatic.

OK,

So if you don't do this training,

I see lots of parents that they don't do anything.

They just push through the night.

And then when they are older,

They just let them cry for 15 minutes,

20 minutes.

And the child is having a hard time.

Right.

Eva doesn't do that because she learned how to sleep.

And when you allow them to learn how to sleep,

To experience what it is to be alone,

But in very small doses,

They get used to that and they understand,

OK,

I'm not abandoned.

I am safe when I call my mom or daddy.

They come.

But if they start crying asking for you,

It's because they want you to hold them.

So,

Again,

It's a book that you can read and it's really good.

But that's another thing.

What was this routine called for small kids?

Again,

Michelle,

There are a thousand books.

The one that we follow,

It's called 12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks Old.

That was the book that we that we followed.

I think that's much better for them than what I did,

Which was to accidentally create a child who cannot get himself to sleep now.

Then,

You know,

Yeah,

Everything.

And we all do the best that we can at the time.

OK,

So don't be hard on yourself.

You did the best that you could with the knowledge that you had.

In our case,

We had the we were overwhelmed like every parent,

Every new parent.

Right.

A thousand things.

Everybody has advice for you.

You don't have time and everything is so busy.

You have to learn how to do all these things.

So in our case,

We were lucky to have this friend and then we asked her.

And then when we asked her,

She shared what she did.

Some people are very hesitant and some people are very open about sleep training for babies and to the point that they will get upset.

But my take is do whatever feels good to you and then try whatever.

I'm always curious to try techniques.

And if I see them working for someone else,

Then I feel inspired to do them myself because I have seen the results.

So that's what happened for us.

With 10 years old,

I guess you can do the same thing now.

I mean,

That method says it works for all their kids,

Too,

Because basically what you are doing,

You are disrupting whatever dynamic they have.

And you are starting to teach them how to sleep alone,

Start to teach them that it is safe to be alone,

That it is OK to be alone.

And then you are always there.

But but they are sleeping alone.

And then when they don't get what they need or want by crying,

That is that you go in and pick them up.

And then if you don't do that,

If you just keep going in and you keep like grabbing them,

It's OK.

You are safe.

Mommy's not going to pick you up.

You have to sleep.

It's time to sleep.

But I'm here.

Do you need anything?

And then you leave and you do that a few times.

They will understand,

OK,

It's sleeping time.

I am safe.

And then this is my sleeping arrangement.

And that's fine.

Right.

So there are different strategies.

All our ring tracks light versus deep versus REM sleep,

Along with many other things.

I discovered that if I eat past 6 p.

M.

,

It disturbs my sleep.

Also,

What I eat,

It also lets me track anything that might be affecting my sleep.

My microbiome affects my sleep.

Amazing.

So that sounds like a really good strategy.

You and Samantha are such an inspiration to me.

My parents kept everything secretive.

It was taboo to share any difficulty in the home.

You two are so open.

It's beautiful and very important.

We need each other.

Yeah,

Amy.

It's important to be open minded,

And especially when it comes to sleeping,

Like it's a taboo.

Like not many parents want to talk about it.

Sometimes we don't want to share too much because when we share,

People get a little bit uneasy and upset.

But again,

Every family is different.

In our case,

We value our sleep a lot.

So we were willing to be proactive.

We were willing to do whatever it takes to teach Eva how to sleep from very little.

And we put the time and the investment in.

And it's amazing.

She sleeps so well every night.

Of course,

She has some nights that she wakes up,

But she's not expecting us to pick her up.

She sleeps now in a queen size bed by herself and she never comes out of the room to back us.

If she needs something,

She will call us,

But she will never get down the bed and come to our bed and bother us in the middle of the night.

Because she feels safe,

Because she learned how to sleep,

Because she knows how to do it.

Right.

But we parents have to teach them how to do that.

And we need to expose them slowly to that fear of being alone in a dark room,

To that anxiety that they are going to experience of my parents are living and I'm here alone and there is a wolf here and there is a lion here.

That's what she says sometimes.

Right.

But then you have to go in,

Console them.

You have to like make sure that they are fine.

And then just they know that you are there.

You are not abandoning them.

Monique,

You ask about alarms.

I have been admiring dice that generally increase light.

And volume of Tuesday and wake up sound.

Yeah.

It's weird.

Sleep,

Sex,

Money,

Such important things in life.

All three are socially taboo.

Why?

Good question,

Amy.

I don't know why,

But I think it's time to shine the light on those things,

Right?

Because we all struggle with them.

We all need to learn from them.

And if we don't share them,

We we all struggle in silence because it feels that we are the only one struggling with those things.

But that's not true at all.

OK.

OK,

Guys,

Today I will need to leave in five minutes because Samantha has a meeting and I have to take care of Eva that she's not going to take care today.

So what's coming up for you after this session?

Like what strategy did you resonate with?

What did you get out of this session that you are feeling inspired to like try so that you can sleep better?

Is there any other topic around sleeping that we haven't talked about that you feel it's important or that you have found value from?

Just feel free to share in the chat anything that's coming up for you.

Like regarding what Catherine was saying about the alarm and the light,

I was reading yesterday and it says that it's so important,

Especially in the wintertime,

At least here in Canada,

Because it's so dark.

Sometimes to invest in an external light and then do light therapy during the day for a little bit can be very beneficial when there is not a lot of sun outside.

So that's something that you can explore if if you are not sleeping well.

OK,

I like the idea of putting the phone in another room.

Amazing.

I am going to check out the aura ring.

I just joined and have been waking up constantly throughout the night,

But I can fall asleep.

Can you go over a few strategies quickly,

Please?

So Kiana,

The most helpful for me is the idea that separate beds do not mean a bad marriage.

Yeah,

So Kiana,

To do like some of the things that we talk about when it comes to sleeping,

You have different angles to look at.

The physical angle is temperature,

How hot,

How warm,

How bright,

How dark the room is,

The noise,

The kind of covers that you use.

If you share space with your partner to communicate what you really need with each other,

Sometimes sleeping in different rooms can be helpful if there is snoring,

If there is something that frustrates you and doesn't let you sleep because of your partner.

Exploring different ideas can be good.

We talk about the belief of sleeping separately means that your marriage is ending and that's not true at all.

And other cultures in North Europe,

That's the norm.

So questioning that.

And again,

If you feel frustrated,

What can you do to improve your sleep and just be curious about trying strategies to see which one may work for you.

So that's from the physical aspect and then from the emotional and mental aspect,

It's about creating a bedtime routine,

About finding a meditation that helps you calm your mind,

About finding,

Putting your phones out of the bedroom if that's triggering you because you are looking at content.

Again,

Like there are so many things that you can try and test and there is not a right or wrong approach here.

Okay.

Way better displays north,

South,

East,

West Feng Shui aspects.

Amazing Feng Shui aspect.

It's another thing that you can try.

Yeah,

I am agree with it.

So many of our struggles with sleep are mental.

When we wake up,

We get frustrated and make it worse.

Being able to relax and breathe deeply and letting resistance to help me go back to sleep.

So strategies to calm your mind strategies to like relax strategies to like accept your situation,

Whatever that is and stop trying to control things so much like there are so many ideas.

And then yoga nidra yoga nidra is a wonderful way to go to sleep.

It's a it's like a meditation that it's a guided meditation and then it gets you through your entire body so that you become aware from head all the way to your feet.

So it's not a meditation style,

But it's it's designed to help you calm your mind calm your emotions,

Relax your physical body,

And then hopefully go to sleep easily,

Letting resistance go.

Yeah,

So some people are sharing yoga nidra meditations here that you can explore on inside timer.

Some sleep tips for yogis the posture,

Legs up the wall with classical music.

Some people are also saying like doing yoga doing pilates doing some sort of exercise during the day that makes you a little bit tired can be helpful so that you go to bed,

Feeling relaxed,

Having a bath.

Hi Elena,

Having positive thoughts in my head.

As I go to sleep last night I listened to a meditation.

Yeah,

Gratefulness is something that you guys can explore gratefulness at the end of the day,

And gratefulness at the beginning of the day.

I have a little magic rock that I have by my bedside table and every night I look at it,

And it reminds me of reflecting about my day and choosing an experience that I was that I felt really good about.

Yesterday for example my magic rock was my,

My daughter sitting on top of me in the kitchen table,

Learning how to peel an orange by herself.

And then she was just sitting with me and then I was hugging her and kissing her and,

And she was just so proud of herself,

Because she was my magic rock from yesterday.

But the magic rock allows me to think about my day reflect and then look at all the positives all the things that happened that I enjoyed,

And then choose my main experience of the day.

Okay,

So gratefulness is something that you can also use.

Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.

No,

Lisa,

That's that's a great strategy.

Requesting something from from your sleeping time can be also like a really good strategy.

Yeah,

Amy try that.

The magic rock this came from the book The Secret,

And they have like a challenge they have another book that is a 30 day challenge,

Gratefulness challenge and one of the practices was to create your own rock that you paint.

Your magic rock and every day you look at it,

And then you reflect about your day.

So that's something that you can also look at.

Okay guys,

I will need to let you go in a couple of minutes.

I'm so happy to have had you here in this session.

Thank you so much for showing up.

I hope your sleep will improve after today's session.

I hope that you got some ideas to try.

I hope that you are open minded and curious to just try without any expectations.

Okay,

No expectations.

Just try for the sake of trying and have fun through through the process.

And just be more playful.

One thing that works for me if I wake up in the middle of the night is instead of forcing sleep to say to myself that I need to keep awake and alert with open eyes and I quickly fall asleep.

Amazing.

Thank you,

Maria for sharing.

Yeah,

Thank you,

Circe.

Thank you,

Marisa.

Thank you,

Sue.

So I'm so happy as always to see everybody of you here.

I hope you have an amazing rest of your day and an amazing weekend.

Okay,

And next week I will only do a session on Thursday because on Tuesday I have to work with a client all day.

They couldn't book another time so it has to be a Tuesday.

I will see you on Thursday next week and we're going to be talking about the connection between trauma and clutter.

Okay,

So I hope you guys can make it.

Announcements,

New course and workshops in January and February.

Yeah,

And for those of you who want to learn more,

Just check my profile on Inside Timer.

You will find three courses.

Okay,

One about how to create your clutter free home.

The other one about self care practices and the other one about embracing minimalism in your life.

Those are three courses that you can find here.

And then you can book a one on one call with me if you want.

There is a mentoring tab on my profile that you can check.

And then I have two workshops coming up in January and February.

All the information is in my workshops tab.

Okay,

And then you can see what's included you can watch a video of me explaining what every workshop is all about.

And if you feel inspired,

I would love if you can join and I can see you on the inside.

Okay,

I will see you guys next Thursday at 10am.

And I hope you guys have an amazing day.

Cheers.