Creating Healing Opportunities Daily & Post-Traumatic Wisdom

Healing is a personal journey that will look different for each individual. Some may heal fast and others may require more time and space. There is no right or wrong approach. You can learn how to create healing opportunities daily. We'll talk about post-traumatic wisdom, too. Ready to explore?

Note: This is a Live Session Recording

Transcript

So yeah welcome guys to another session.

Today I want to talk about how can we create healing opportunities on a daily basis,

Weekly basis,

And how can we extract the post-traumatic wisdom once we have healed,

Really recognizing what have we learned,

What did that experience brought us,

And yeah and what are we gonna do with that wisdom moving forward.

And today I really feel inspired to talk about this because I encountered a lot of trauma,

A lot of experiences that people have had in the past,

And those experiences are conditioning the way they function in their day-to-day life.

So I show up many times trying to help them declutter their homes for example,

Try to remove the physical clutter,

And when we get started doing the process,

Asking questions,

Making decisions,

Gaining clarity about what they really want,

Why they want it,

How do they want to feel,

It always goes that way.

We always go back to something that happened,

We always always go back to a life experience that they lived,

And they feel conditioned by that life experience,

And their physical situation reflects that.

Many times I try to help someone manage their time,

Create an idea a week,

Look at their schedule so that they can create something that they can manage and that they enjoy,

Something that supports them in a good way,

And guess what we encounter?

We encounter limiting beliefs,

We encounter stories that they tell themselves,

And I include myself in this,

I tell myself stories,

I choose that something can be done,

Something cannot be done,

I make assumptions,

Etc etc,

And this is all trauma,

This is all experiences that we all had that somehow conditioned the way we show up today,

And that's why that's why I really feel inspired to talk about this,

How can we make,

How can we integrate healing,

Small pieces of healing in our day-to-day lives,

How can we make it doable,

How can we make it practical,

Functional,

Something that doesn't overwhelm us,

Something that we can enjoy as much as possible,

Because sometimes healing is not fun,

We have to sit with uncomfortable emotions,

We have to go to places that we don't enjoy,

But if we don't do it,

It's going to keep conditioning us moving forward,

And many of you I'm sure you don't want that anymore,

So the first thing that I would like to really talk about is taking ownership,

Really taking ownership of whatever happened to you,

Taking ownership of what you really want,

Even though you may not have answers,

Even though maybe you don't even know how to get started,

But that's okay,

At least you know that you don't want to do the same thing,

You don't want to feel the same way,

You are ready to try something different,

Okay,

So that is the first thing I would like to share.

Hi Emilio,

Charlie says,

Hi Emilio,

Do you have any way to cope with stress of assessment time?

I am a student and I need a little help.

So any way to cope with stress of assessment time?

Yeah,

So you are probably encountering,

Charlie,

A lot of pressure because you have to perform,

You have to do assessments,

You have to do well,

You're gonna get a score,

And that,

Of course,

That's going to create anxiety.

I remember when I was a student,

I remember when I had to face assessments and I was being questioned,

I was being tested,

And I remember the feelings that I experienced in my body,

I remember that anxiety in the pit of my stomach,

I remember that breathing,

Shallow breathing,

I remember sweating,

I remember being very uncomfortable,

And all because that day was special because that was happening,

And I had really high expectations for myself,

I also wanted to have a good grade for my parents,

Etc,

Etc.

So what can you do here,

Charlie?

Just do your best,

That is the best that you can do.

Try your best to prepare,

Try your best to practice self-care as much as you can so that you can be in a good state,

You can be in a good mood.

I remember when I was studying,

So many times I was sitting in front of my desk,

I was trying to memorize something,

I was trying to solve a math problem,

I was trying to do something and I was stuck,

And I remember so many times that I told myself,

Emilio,

This is not working,

Even if you keep sitting down here for two more hours,

You are stuck,

And my intuition was telling me,

Go and do something,

Move,

Go on your bicycle,

Go for a run,

Play some basketball,

Do something,

And I always stood up,

Went,

Did something,

Normally for me it's physical,

Something physical,

I would take a shower,

I would sit down on that desk,

I would look at the same problem I was facing like an hour ago,

40 minutes ago,

30 minutes ago,

Two hours ago,

It depends on the day,

And I would look at it and say wow,

Why was I stuck in here right now before,

Like it's so easy,

And then I would just move forward,

And I was able to do that because I practiced self-care,

Because I was able to recognize that I was tired,

I was stuck,

And that acceptance allowed me to tap into my intuition of what should I do,

Okay,

Clearly you don't have to keep doing the same thing,

So that is for example a really great opportunity to really be present with yourself,

And really notice what's happening,

And when we are trying to integrate healing opportunities in our day-to-day life,

What we are going to be using is our executive functioning skills,

If you guys know what they are,

I talk about them all the time,

I have a course about executive functioning skills that you can take and learn more about,

But executive functioning skills are the skills that we use on a daily basis to do everything in our lives,

So when you are trying to heal,

When you are trying to understand,

Process,

Emotionally move forward in a different way,

A few of the skills that you are using are metacognition,

So you are using your metacognition,

That is the skill that allows you to be present,

So you are present,

You are noticing what's coming up,

You are noticing what you are experiencing,

You are noticing how you are acting,

And then you consciously start changing,

You consciously start making decisions in the present moment,

You consciously decide to watch and notice what's happening,

Like you are an observant of yourself doing something,

So that is the metacognition,

And that skill is being nurtured anytime you practice mindfulness,

Anytime you are meditating,

Anytime you go for a run and you are present with yourself,

Anytime you do any activity that brings you to the present moment,

That allows you to create time for reflection,

Allows you to visualize what you would like to see in your life,

All those exercises are helping you practice,

Use your metacognition,

Okay,

That is one of the skills,

Another skill that you are using is your emotional self-regulation,

Anytime a strong emotion is showing up,

And this is going to happen when you are trying to process trauma,

When you are trying to understand an experience that triggered strong emotions in you,

You have to find a way to self-manage how you react to that event,

Because that event happened,

You cannot change the event that happened to you,

What you can change is how you react to it,

So when you are trying to process trauma,

When you are trying to heal,

When you are trying to emotionally and mentally process,

So that you can move forward in a different way without feeling conditioned by how you feel about that event,

You are using your emotional self-regulation,

Another skill that you are using is your cognitive flexibility,

Also known as adaptable thinking,

And that skill is the one that allows you to look at a specific situation from different angles,

So all the sudden you are brainstorming ideas,

Brainstorming new ways of being in that specific situation,

So your metacognition allows you to be present,

To observe and notice what you are doing,

Maybe you notice a pattern that repeats and you are observing that,

Your self-regulation,

Normally emotional self-regulation is allowing you to be present with that discomfort,

It's allowing you to be present with the emotions that are happening now without reacting and getting lost in them,

And then your adaptable thinking is allowing you to then brainstorm ideas,

How can I do this differently,

What are the options and possibilities that are in front of me that right now I cannot see,

How can I confront this situation in a different way,

So that's your adaptable thinking or cognitive flexibility,

So as you see these skills happen and they function together sometimes,

Independently sometimes,

But when you are trying to assess and heal your trauma,

So let's talk about what trauma is,

Because trauma can mean something different for each person,

A traumatic event is basically an event that happened to you,

And then you had strong reaction to that event,

There are different kinds of trauma,

There is emotional trauma,

Physical trauma,

Mental trauma,

So there are different kinds,

But I'm talking about the emotional trauma,

So basically what is the story that you tell yourself about that event,

What is the meaning that that event had in you,

And today in the present moment how is remembering that event make you feel,

And how is that those feelings,

How are those feelings conditioning you moving forward,

This is what we want to look at,

And this is what I would like all of us to find different ways to start creating healing opportunities on a daily basis,

Because many times facing trauma,

Facing a trigger,

Facing something that is very emotionally charged,

It is very difficult,

It takes a lot of energy,

So if I tell you okay let's look at that for an hour,

That's going to be probably way too much for you to take,

It's going to be way too uncomfortable,

Way too overwhelming,

And you are going to avoid it because it's just way too much,

But what happens if I tell you let's just let's just tap into it for 10 seconds,

Now let's do 10 seconds later,

Let's do 10 seconds tomorrow,

What's going to happen is that you're going to start getting in touch with it,

You're going to start noticing what's coming up,

You're going to start practicing being present with whatever emotion is showing up,

And then all the sudden you're going to start talking about that with people that you trust,

Family members,

Maybe your therapist,

Your counselor,

Maybe your brother,

Maybe your partner,

Maybe your children,

Your parents,

Your neighbors,

Your good friends,

Your co-workers,

Whoever,

But then all the sudden you are starting to move forward,

You are starting to like carve out time,

Presence,

Energy,

Processing,

You're processing slowly,

And this is something that I read in a Gabor Mate book,

The Myth of Normal,

Okay,

In that book he was talking about the different ways that people process trauma,

The different ways that people find healing opportunities,

And he recommends that you set up an environment that allows you to process trauma slowly at a pace that you feel comfortable with,

Because many times you may go to a therapist,

To a counselor,

To a professional,

And you may have a 45-minute session,

A one-hour session,

And maybe you tap into something that is way too painful,

And how long can you be present with that?

I guarantee that most likely you cannot be present with that for an hour or 45 minutes,

It's going to be way too much time,

Right?

So what is the combination that you can find to combine going to the therapist,

Going to the counselor,

But at the same time how can you create those healing opportunities on a daily basis in a different way?

And he was talking about the importance of social networks,

The importance of group supports,

Support groups of any kind,

The importance of being a part of group sports,

Being a part of hobbies,

Just spend time with other people,

Basically.

And then as you spend time with other people,

You have conversations,

You get curious about their lives,

They will ask you questions about your life,

And all of a sudden,

Naturally,

You will start having conversations,

You will start sharing what's happening,

And then hopefully you will start finding those opportunities for healing,

For asking,

For getting support,

For getting new ideas,

For witnessing someone else's lifestyle that you didn't understand,

And all of a sudden you realize,

Wow,

I like that,

I could do that in my life,

And all of a sudden you are moving forward without having to work hard at it.

It's a combination of things,

Okay?

Let me see what you guys are sharing.

Good morning,

Polly,

I'm doing my best,

I'm doing my best,

I'm doing my best.

Yeah,

And this is also very important,

Guys,

Always do your best,

But don't get overwhelmed trying to do way too much,

Because then it's not going to work.

Yeah,

So that book was really good at it,

And then I was reading another book,

Actually I wasn't reading,

I was listening to,

Because I love listening to audiobooks,

I was listening to another book about trauma and healing.

I don't know why,

I'm just very interested in listening to books about healing and trauma,

I don't know why,

Because that's what I do,

I'm doing the most lately.

And then this book was talking about the difference between when you are trying to heal,

When you are trying to like process trauma,

She was describing how to do it,

And she was saying when you go to revisit trauma,

The idea is not that you go back to reliving that experience,

Because that may re-traumatize you again.

She was saying the most important piece is that you can be present now,

In the present moment,

So you're using,

Remember,

You're using your metacognition executive functioning skill to remind yourself,

I am Emilio,

Today is June 8th,

2023,

And I am 43 years old,

And I am deciding to go back to revisit that experience that happened to me 20 years ago,

Okay?

So I'm not reliving that,

I'm going back as an observer,

And she says it's really important to observe from the outside,

So me,

Emilio,

From 2023,

I am observing the Emilio from 20 years ago,

That he was in that event,

And I am noticing what he did,

I am noticing what he felt,

I am detached from the experience,

So she was saying it's really important to be detached from that experience,

To be an observer,

It's like you're watching a movie,

And this is really important,

Especially when you are revisiting childhood trauma,

That you are a little kid,

You need to really avoid getting lost in going back to that specific moment,

And getting lost in those emotions,

You have to be where you are now,

And you have to watch that little boy with compassion,

I will watch that Emilio 20 years ago with compassion,

And then I will observe how,

What am I feeling now,

The Emilio from 40 years,

43 years old,

Now 2023,

What am I feeling when I watch that,

When I see that from the outside,

And then all of a sudden,

What we are doing here,

We are revisiting that event from an observer perspective,

So we are not involved,

And we are reminding ourselves that we are not in that specific moment,

And then we are choosing what to do with what happened,

We are trying to change the meaning of that experience,

The experience itself cannot be changed,

It happened,

But we can change the meaning,

We can change the stories that we told ourselves,

We can change the triggers that we created,

We can self-regulate all the strong emotions that may show up when we,

Something reminds us of that experience,

And this can be very intense,

Or this can be less intense,

It depends on what happened to you,

It depends on many different things,

Because same event,

If you have 10 people here and an event happens,

Those 10 people are going to react differently to the exact same event,

Some people are going to be completely traumatized,

Some people are going to be completely okay,

And some people are going to be disturbed,

Maybe a little bit uncomfortable,

So you are going to have everything possible to the exact same event,

So trauma,

And this is something that was saying also Gabor Mate on that book,

Trauma is something such specific,

Such personal,

That it's very difficult to have a healing strategy that will work for everybody the same way,

It's just impossible,

Because every person has a different way of feeling,

Has different way of experiencing,

Has a different past,

Different past experiences,

Different conditioning,

There are so many layers of complexity that are going to make each person perceive the same event in such a completely different way,

So very important to do that,

Very important to understand what we are trying to do here,

When we are trying to create healing opportunities on a daily basis,

We are trying to use these executive functioning skills,

We are trying to go back to that experience from an observer point of view,

And we are trying to understand why did I create that story,

How can I change the narrative that I have been telling myself about this,

What am I choosing to do now,

Today,

With what happened,

With what beliefs do I want to create,

What do I need to do to process this,

What are things that my intuition is guiding me to do,

Because there are so many different ways of doing this,

There are so many different ways of healing,

There are so many different ways of processing strong emotions,

And it's going to look different for each of you,

Very different,

So when I was talking about the importance of taking ownership,

The importance of you being your own healer,

This is so essential,

Because your intuition is going to guide you,

You are going to know if you allow time to take him with yourself at every step of the way of that healing journey,

You are going to know what you need to do,

You are going to know,

I don't know why,

But I feel I have to do some self-care right now,

I don't know why,

But I feel that I'm ready to go and see that therapist,

That counselor,

I don't know why,

But this person makes me feel comfortable and I feel like I could share a little bit deeper with him or her,

And then you are going to start following your intuition,

I don't know why,

But maybe that hot yoga class brought something in me that was beautiful and I want to repeat that,

So maybe I should keep going there,

Maybe I should read that book or watch that documentary or whatever,

Just follow your intuition and you are the one who knows the answer,

This is the thing,

Like many times we give our power away to a doctor,

To a hospital,

To a medicament,

A drug,

Something,

And we just release power completely and we have the power to do what we need to do and we have normally the best answer when we allow ourselves the time to check in and to really see what's present,

What am I doing now,

What's next for me.

So guys,

I would like to ask you and you can use the chat,

How did you create healing opportunities in your life right now?

Would you like to share like what do you do right now to create healing opportunities,

To be able to process things that you need,

You need to do work like what,

How does that look like for you?

Because I'm always fascinated reading what you guys are doing and I know that if you guys share with each other you're going to feel inspired by other's comments,

You're going to learn things that you didn't think about and that's the adaptable thinking,

Be curious,

Really notice what,

Oh that's a nice idea,

Maybe I should give it a try.

So Genevieve says,

Things that I found disappointing with when I was a kid regarding my parents,

I try not to repeat it with my kids.

Amazing,

Genevieve,

So you are trying to avoid generational trauma,

Something that you didn't enjoy,

You are trying to avoid doing that to your kids,

Amazing.

Anne says,

Final purpose through leadership in social justice work.

Amazing,

So you found some purpose that felt aligned with you and your values and that gives you leadership.

Spending time in nature,

Lynn,

Amazing.

I get validation and support from books and additional resources.

Amazing,

Becca.

Christina says,

Take a walk,

Let Smith reflect and clarify thought.

Amazing,

So as you see guys,

You all have different ways of doing this.

Genevieve says,

Notice my emotions and believe them as they arise,

Realizing that they will come and go.

Yeah,

Validation,

Genevieve,

That is so important.

I want to share about validation and the importance of that validation.

This is something that shows up for me in my own life with my wife,

Samantha,

Because we do intentional dialogues and one of the pieces about the intentional dialogue is to validate what's present.

Even though maybe 10 minutes later it's no longer true,

In the present moment,

Whatever we are feeling,

It is true and we need to accept it and we need to validate it and then we can decide what to do with it.

But right now,

It's present,

So validation is so,

So important.

Let me see what else you guys are sharing.

Yeah,

Fall rolling before bed helps me release the emotional,

Oops,

Your comment went away.

Genesis meditation has been immensely helpful,

Also accepting the fact that I cannot change the past and worrying about past and future is not helpful.

Truly trying to live in the moment,

Amazing.

Abigail says,

The idea that I can create an opportunity is a new framework.

I usually feel forced to do healthier things under threat of anxiety attack or the like,

But living healing opportunities like stepping stones,

A pathway home,

Building it into the hour on the day is a lovely idea.

Amazing,

Abigail.

Kay says,

I imagine that others criticisms or judgments roll off me like raindrops.

I feel cleansed.

Amazing,

So don't let other people control you,

Really allow yourself to be yourself and show up the way you feel aligned with,

Regardless of what other people are going to say or think about you.

Yeah,

So as you guys see,

There are so many different ways of doing this.

Erin says,

I brought letters to the person that caused me trauma,

Knowing that I wasn't going to send them.

I have been in therapy for 13 years now.

Wow,

Erin,

That is amazing work.

And I also wanted to doubt space on that,

The different ways of communication,

The different ways of expressing our truth.

For some of you,

Writing is something that really feels aligned.

Writing allows you to express,

Allows you to release,

Even though no one else may read what you brought,

But just the fact of expressing your emotions pen to paper,

That is a really nice way for you to process.

For some other people,

It's just through sports,

Through doing something physical,

Punching a bag,

Screaming.

For some of you,

You need to talk,

You need to have someone witness you talk about it,

And that is the way that you process.

So there are so many different ways of doing this,

Guys.

Another book that I was reading about trauma,

And this book was talking about many,

Many different ways of processing trauma.

And normally with the body,

Okay,

Doing something with your body that will allow you to move that trauma out of your body because the trauma,

Those experiences get impregnated in your physical body and you have to somehow release them energetically speaking.

He was talking about yoga,

He was talking about Qigong,

He was talking about anything that involves movement,

Dancing,

Singing,

Yeah,

Just moving your body in specific ways.

There are so many ways of doing this work,

And there is not a right or wrong approach.

It's just a matter to find what is your approach.

In my personal life,

When I was in Canada before coming to Spain,

One of the ways that I was discovering that was really powerful for me,

I was doing yoga,

Hot yin yoga.

And yin yoga is all about stretching,

It's all about maintaining a specific pose for up to two minutes,

Three minutes.

So you are really stretching,

And there is a lot of mental component in the practice,

Because you're becoming more flexible in your body,

But your mind is also becoming more flexible.

You have to be present with your thoughts,

You have to try and stay focused.

Sometimes we do balance poses,

And those are my favourite ones,

Because I can notice that I start to like,

Maybe stand on one leg,

Open my arms,

And I notice that I am all over the place,

And all of a sudden I start breathing,

I start grounding myself,

I start looking at a specific spot,

And all of a sudden I can stay there,

And I don't move anymore,

And I am completely in balance,

And I can be on one leg,

Just keep breathing,

And that really,

Really grounds me.

And when I do those classes,

When I used to do those classes before coming to Spain,

I always got the best ideas for my life sessions here,

I always got answers for problems I was facing,

I always got inspiration for new things to do and try,

And I always like it was so cleansing and so wonderful.

So for me that was a beautiful activity that I know it's a healing opportunity in so many different ways.

So that's what I'm looking for,

That's what I'm inviting you guys to do.

What is that thing for you?

It doesn't have to be hot yoga,

It can be anything that sparks that in you,

Anything that gives you that safety,

That container,

That time for yourself to be able to really check in,

Notice,

Feel,

Express,

Process,

And do whatever you need to do,

Because sometimes what you need to do is different from person to person.

A lot of times I am realizing that rude or unkind behaviors from other people is more of a reflection of that person's issues.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

And yeah,

Having that capacity to hold space for other people in their healing journey is also really important.

And that is a specific,

A very nice example,

When someone is being rude to you,

When someone is just doing something mean to you,

How wonderful it will be that instead of us reacting to that and getting defensive,

That we will just say,

Wow,

I noticed that you're having a really hard day.

Are you okay?

Is there anything that you need?

Can I do something to support you?

Because I see that you are not feeling well right now.

I don't know,

Whatever you feel,

Whatever your intuition is guiding you to do,

But how wonderful would that be if everybody was more aware of trauma,

More aware of people having a hard time and people supporting each other in a different way.

Heidi says,

Question,

How can I use the pain that I still feel from my mastiff surgery as described in a couple of my comments above as a practice,

My healing power?

I am trying to take homeopathic remedies,

But do you have any suggestions related to integrative medicine or visualization techniques?

Well,

Heidi,

To be honest,

I have never suffered by chronic pain.

I am a really bad patient when it comes to pain.

I can tell you that I don't tolerate pain really well.

So I don't think I'm the right person to give you any advice on that specific topic.

That's me being completely honest with you.

Does anyone here in the audience have any recommendations from Heidi,

Any ideas that could answer her question?

I'm really open that you guys can use the chat,

How to heal pain.

Bruce says,

Yeah,

That's a great idea.

Like how can you heal pain,

Right?

Where is the pain coming from?

And that is going to be different for each of you.

Sometimes you have pain because you had a physical accident.

Sometimes you have pain because you have emotional pain and that is a different kind of pain than the physical pain.

So how to heal that pain is going to look very different from case to case.

And this is what you need to discover.

This is why I was talking at the beginning that you need to take ownership of your journey.

You need to do your own research.

You need to follow your intuition,

Your inner guidance,

Because you will know the answer.

You will start finding your path.

No one else is going to find your path for you.

They may have suggestions,

But you have to take ownership about what's next for me.

What feels good now for me to try to test always without having high expectations,

Because if it doesn't work,

You can then move to the next one.

If I were in pain,

I wouldn't have clarity probably to do any of these things.

So my first thing would be,

How can I get rid of this pain now so that I can think clearly?

So maybe that will be my next step.

How can I get rid of this insane pain that I'm experiencing so that I can function a little bit better?

And again,

I have no experience with chronic pain or extreme pain,

So that's why I don't feel confident to talk about it.

I crochet dog beds to foster dogs.

That's amazing.

That's such a nice activity that you probably enjoy.

It's probably an activity that allows you to be present with yourself,

Allows you to use your metacognition and be in the present moment,

And it's like an active meditation.

Crochet is clearly like an active meditation.

Once you can get started creating these healing opportunities,

Hopefully on a daily basis,

Like small chunks of processing every day.

After that,

It's really important to really understand the power of this.

And this is what I learned from books that they call it the post-traumatic wisdom.

Because when you have a traumatic event that is controlling you right now,

Maybe you had an event that happened 20 years ago,

And still today you are feeling attached to that event,

Energetically speaking,

In the sense that when you feel triggered to remember that event,

Maybe a sound,

Maybe a smell,

Maybe someone saying a specific word or sentence that takes you back to that event,

And all of a sudden you start feeling something really intense.

And that controls the way you live,

That controls the way that you show up.

So that event,

As I was talking,

You cannot change the event itself.

What you can change is,

How can I manage these emotions that I feel every time I remember that event?

How can I change the meaning?

How can I change the triggers?

How can I make it more manageable?

Maybe they're not gonna go away completely,

But how can I feel the discomfort,

Feel whatever I felt from that event,

And keep moving forward in the way that I want?

How can I make that more and more and more doable?

And that is the difference when you are healing.

That is the difference when you are carrying those energetic cords to that event.

That's the difference when you are giving that event a different meaning.

You are noticing the triggers,

And you are aware of them,

And you are present with them,

And you can move forward in a different way,

Still feeling those triggers.

So the triggers every time have less and less and less power over yourself.

When you can do that,

That's when you achieve that post-traumatic wisdom.

So when the event happens,

You learn from that event,

But it no longer controls you,

It no longer affects you negatively,

Or at least not as much as it used to.

That's when you can say,

I learned something here.

I have wisdom.

Because wisdom is the knowledge,

The experience,

Without that connection that makes you feel those strong emotions constantly.

That is the post-traumatic wisdom,

And that is so wonderful to be able to look forward to that.

And a majority of the time,

That is what we are trying to find,

Right?

Because we're going to become a way more wise person,

With way more experience,

Once we have gone through that healing opportunity.

Iris says,

Are you from Spain?

Love your accent and your advices.

Iris,

Yes,

I am from Spain.

I normally live in Canada for the last 10 years,

But I am now in Spain.

I'm doing a sabbatical year here in Barcelona,

Because I have a four-year-old daughter,

And my wife is from Canada,

And my parents are here.

They live here,

And during COVID,

We couldn't see each other very often,

And my daughter is growing really fast.

So we really wanted to come here for a full year,

So that she can spend some time with my parents.

She's going to school here,

She's learning Spanish,

But she already speaks Spanish pretty amazingly,

And even Catalan.

So yeah,

We are in Barcelona right now,

Until December 15th.

Bruce says,

Working with children is very rewarding.

It takes my pain away.

Amazing,

Bruce.

So there you have a wonderful activity that helps you take the pain away,

Just being with children.

And children are unique.

They can be so present.

They can express the emotions the way they are.

They can go from being completely sad,

And completely having a tantrum,

And doing this,

Expressing everything they are feeling,

To all of a sudden being colouring,

Super happy with a smile,

In a matter of three or four seconds.

I see my daughter,

And it's amazing.

It's like,

I don't know how you do it.

And sometimes it drives me crazy,

Because I can't do it as fast as she does it.

And then I am resentful after,

No,

But you did that to me before,

And I have to remind myself,

Emilio,

Don't stay stuck in what happened.

She already moved on.

She lives in the present.

What happened doesn't matter.

So yeah,

Being with children,

I can understand how it's amazing.

Yeah.

Thank you guys for all your suggestions for Heidi,

About pain.

Thank you for sharing some names.

Thank you for sharing some resources and some strategies.

I really appreciate you guys bringing your wisdom and sharing it here.

They sure are.

I have three nephews and a niece,

And I enjoy being with them.

Yeah.

Okay,

Guys.

Well,

That's everything I have for today.

I hope that this gives you the inspiration,

The motivation to really think about how can you start creating those healing opportunities as often as you can?

How can you make that happen?

Also,

A reminder that when you are doing this work,

You are using those executive functioning skills that I really invite you to really learn about,

Experience them,

Become aware of them,

Nurture them.

And I have a full course on executive functioning skills if you want to learn more about them,

But I really encourage you to at least learn about the metacognition,

Emotional self-regulation,

And adaptable thinking.

Those are three of the main ones that I talk about today in this specific work,

And you are going to need those to do this processing,

This healing,

This looking at your trauma from different angles,

From an observer,

And really manage all the emotions and triggers that you have felt until now.

And how can you start that journey of making them less and less intense,

Slowly,

At a pace that feels good to you,

At a pace that you can manage,

And then how can you progressively start healing and start gaining that post-traumatic wisdom that we are all seeking?

Okay,

So guys,

If you enjoyed this session,

As always,

I will appreciate a donation if you can support me.

Another great way to support my work is by enrolling in my courses and engaging in the course classroom.

I really love reading from you,

Supporting you,

And I hope to see you next week on Tuesday,

Where we are going to be talking about self-sabotage,

Understanding our self-sabotage,

Because that is something that I see a lot,

That's something that I myself experience a lot,

And how can we name it?

How can we notice it?

How can we observe the patterns that we follow of self-sabotage?

Why are we following them?

What's underneath that behavior?

How is that behavior protecting us?

What are the stories and the beliefs that we tell ourselves that keep maintaining those self-sabotage behaviors that we have?

And how can we move forward in a completely different way?

So that will be the topic for next Tuesday,

Okay?

I hope to see you there,

And for all of you who may be new to this live session,

I record all of my sessions,

And you can find the recordings in my profile link.

If you click in there,

You will see an option that says Inside Timer Live Sessions Recordings,

And you can watch all the recordings in there from the last almost three years,

Okay?

And now I am doing video recordings,

So you will watch the video,

Not just the audio,

Okay?

Well,

Guys,

Thank you so much for your support.

I hope that you gained some knowledge today.

I hope that you feel inspired to keep healing,

To create those opportunities,

And create those opportunities for other people too,

If you can,

And have an amazing weekend,

And I hope to see you on Tuesday next week,

Okay?

¡Adiós!