Being Vs Doing - Finding Your Balance

Learn the difference between being vs doing and find your own balance. Mastering these two energies will allow you to manage your time, your space, your mind, your energy, & your emotions while being intentional. If you find yourself always trying to stay distracted, then this session is for you.

Note: This is a Live Session Recording.

Transcript

Welcome guys to another session.

Thank you so much for connecting today.

Hi Susie,

Hi Kathleen,

Hi Lola,

Hi Marisa,

Hi everybody.

Today we're gonna be talking about doing versus being.

We're gonna be exploring what that looks like,

These two kind of energies,

And we are gonna try to discover how they unfold in our day-to-day life,

Where we are going,

Our day-to-day activities,

Going to work,

Being at home,

Communicating with other people,

What's going on in our minds,

And we are going to shine the light on when are we being and when are we doing and how does that look like for us in our day-to-day life.

If any of you guys is new to my live sessions,

Please say hi in the chat.

I would love to say hi and see see your face or your icon,

And if you are,

I'll repeat it.

Thank you so much for coming back.

So before getting started,

Let's just be for a few seconds,

Okay?

I'm gonna play my singing Tibetan song,

Tibetan ball,

Sorry,

And I want you to just relax for a few seconds,

Just listen to the sound of the singing ball,

And just be.

Thank you so much for taking a few seconds for yourself,

For enjoying that sound,

For being present.

Hi Marian,

Hi Chloe,

Good morning.

Yeah,

So today I really feel inspired to talk about these two kind of energies,

The being and the doing,

Because I catch myself many times doing,

Doing,

Doing,

Doing,

Doing,

Doing,

And I forget to be,

I forget to even breathe,

I forget to be present,

I forget to pay attention,

And I am so focused on what I'm doing that I get lost in the act of doing,

And there is nothing wrong with that.

The problem is when I never be,

I'm always doing,

Doing,

Doing,

And I am always distracted,

And it's so difficult sometimes to just be.

It's uncomfortable,

It can be lonely,

It can be scary,

It can be confusing,

It can be boring,

Can be so many things,

But that's why I feel that each of us have a unique way,

A unique recipe of how much do I need to be,

And how much do I need to do,

And what is my balance here,

What is the combination of these two energies that make me feel well,

That help me take action on the things that I want to,

But without feeling overwhelmed,

Without feeling anxiety,

Without overdoing it,

Okay?

So Meg says it's difficult to just be without really forcing it,

Laughing out loud,

For me at least.

Thank you Meg,

I am,

I feel the same way with you in so many areas.

It's,

For me,

Sometimes it's really easy,

Second nature to just do.

Being on the other side is more difficult for me,

It's more,

I guess,

Throughout my life,

I have been exposed to doing,

Doing,

Doing,

Doing,

And that's the norm,

But being,

It's kind of weird.

Being is kind of,

This is what comes to mind many times when I'm not doing anything,

When I'm just being.

Emilio,

You're wasting time,

Emilio,

You're being lazy,

Emilio,

There is so much to do,

What are you doing there?

Emilio,

Are you bored?

Emilio,

You should be doing something else,

There are so many priorities that you want to keep doing,

So just get up and get going.

So those are some of the voices that I hear.

I guess I learn,

I saw when I was little,

Whatever,

But they are in the background,

And it's so important to really pay attention,

To notice,

And the doing is very important,

The being is really important.

Sometimes you can be and do at the same time,

And that's a wonderful experience.

When I can do that,

When I can do something while I am being present at it,

100%,

Well 100%,

But a lot of presence,

It's just such a wonderful,

That's what I guess people call it the flow state,

You are on the zone,

You are doing something and you are being fully at it,

And you get that feeling that time slows down or disappears or whatever,

It goes really fast,

But you just lose track of everything else because you are so immersed in that doing,

But at the same time you are being two at the same time,

So that's also a possibility,

You can do and be at the same time,

So that's why it's so important to start noticing how these two energies show up in your life,

The being and the doing,

To notice if you are allowing yourself to just be,

If you are allowing yourself to just do,

If you are allowing yourself to do both at the same time,

If you can even do that,

And to start practicing different combinations until you start finding what likes,

What you like the most,

And it's also going to change from activity type to activity type,

From the times of the day,

From depending who you are with,

Depending on the location where you are at,

That may change too,

So that's why it's so important to,

Lisa says have no volume,

Anyone else,

Yeah hopefully Lisa you can figure out that tech issue,

I hope that you guys are hearing me well,

Thank you Trish for your donation,

I saw that you donated,

I really appreciate it,

Thank you,

Thank you so much,

So what is your experience so far guys,

Before I share some examples of my own life,

What is your experience between the doing and the being in your life,

When,

What do you notice that you are overdoing it or doing too much or doing,

What do you notice that you are being and how do you create time throughout your day to just be and what does being mean to you,

What does that mean to you,

Just being,

I would like to know what you guys think about this,

What comes to mind or how it shows up in your life and I'm happy to share more about how it shows up in my life,

In case that's helpful,

Yeah how,

How do you,

What is your relationship right now with with doing and with being,

Would you like to do more of one of those,

Do you have a good mix,

Maybe you have never paid attention to it and now you're gonna start paying attention to it,

What is your relationship,

So B says I have a notification in my phone to remind me to be present in my body several times each day,

Beautiful,

So you are trying to create that reminder so that you can create at least checking with yourself right and to be present in your body to notice what's going on,

Oh I'm feeling tension,

Oh I am not breathing deeply or I am hot,

I'm cold,

I'm hungry,

That's really good,

Laura says meditation,

Walking in nature,

Yeah so those are two activities Laura that help you be right,

Help you maybe checking with yourself and just be with whatever is present with you,

Any,

Any kind of self-care activity,

Mindfulness activity,

Anything that you do that you enjoy,

It's probably going to help you connect with yourself and it's going to help you come back to the present moment,

It's going to help you be mindful,

Mindfulness means to be mindful of what's present right now,

Be mindful of your breathing,

Be mindful of what you are doing,

Be mindful of your surrounding,

Of the noises around you,

What you see,

What you smell,

How you feel,

That's mindfulness and any activity that you,

That helps you be present that can help you be in the present moment.

Nancy says just as you said can easily feel guilty when not doing but realize the need for the balance of being,

Yeah Nancy this is why,

This is why I,

I really felt inspired to talk about this because when I am helping people declutter and organize their lives,

When I'm helping people bring more intention and really speak up what they really want,

Many times they are facing resistance,

Many times they are feeling things that is preventing them from moving forward however they want to,

It's preventing them from maybe practicing self-care,

I have a self-care course,

I help people create their own self-care list and I know because it happened to me that is very difficult sometimes to prioritize yourself,

It's very difficult sometimes to make space for yourself to even think about what makes you feel well because of many things,

Maybe you feel that you don't deserve it,

Maybe your life is too busy,

Maybe people rely on you,

Maybe it feels selfish,

Maybe you feel guilty because you should be,

You could be helping your mom,

Helping your children,

Helping your husband,

Your wife,

Helping your workmate,

There is always something else that you could be doing,

Okay,

There's always something else that you could be doing if you want to and you could just go your entire life without stopping and you will not run out of things to do,

But my question to you is how is that working for you?

For me it doesn't work well at all,

When I neglect that piece of my life I am less creative,

I am less patient,

I am less happy,

I am less connected with myself,

I cannot be as present with other people because I am not balanced,

I don't feel well,

So that's how it shows up for me,

But I understand that for many people you are going to confront emotions,

You are going to confront beliefs,

Stories that you are telling yourself,

Stories that you learn in the past that are preventing you from just being because being can mean a walk in nature,

Can mean meditation,

Can mean cooking a delicious meal,

Can mean having a nice conversation with your partner,

Can mean having a bath,

Can mean watching a movie and laughing,

It can mean so many different things,

But the problem is that sometimes we don't allow ourselves to do that because we feel that we have to do,

But if you don't feel well I invite you to really question that and I invite you to explore a different recipe of doing and being and maybe start integrating as someone was doing here,

Setting reminders in the calendar to remind themselves,

Hey am I being,

Even for a minute,

Three times a day,

Am I creating time to just be,

Whatever that means to you right now,

And it's okay if you are facing emotions,

That's a part of being,

If you are trying to do this and you are facing guilt,

You are facing you're feeling selfish,

You are feeling that you don't deserve it,

All of those things are components that are present for you right now,

In the present moment that is how you feel,

So being means being with those emotions,

Creating space for what you feel,

Understanding why you feel that way,

Not running away,

Not reacting,

Just being present,

Notice wow I'm feeling this way,

Okay I'm just gonna be with it,

It's fine I'm feeling this way,

It's fine I can still be here,

I don't have to react,

I don't have to do anything,

I just pay attention to it and then you start questioning why am I feeling guilty,

Why am I feeling selfish,

Why am I feeling like I don't deserve this,

And then you start processing,

You start becoming aware,

You start questioning and I promise you that you are going to start moving forward,

Maybe being able to create more time,

Maybe building more capacity for doing something that feels uncomfortable,

Maybe understanding the reasons why you feel that way,

Questioning the beliefs behind them and maybe reframing those beliefs into new ones and that takes time,

Okay that takes time and repetition and it's okay if you don't know what to do with it,

But at least you are being with it,

That is being,

You don't have to do anything,

You can just be with it,

If you want you can be and do at the same time you can be with those feelings and then you can do something with them,

You can question them,

You can reframe them,

You can write them down,

You can do whatever your intuition is guiding you to do,

But you are doing in the being,

So you are doing while being mindful,

You are combining those two at the same time.

So let me see the chat,

Angie says don't feel being enough,

Too much procrastinating,

Only achieve being when all doing is done regularly,

Don't get everything done enough.

So Angie,

That's interesting and that's normal for many people,

For myself included,

You don't feel like you can be until you finish what you have to do,

Right,

The regular things that you have to do and that is not a bad thing,

It's okay to again,

You are finding your combination,

You are discovering your recipe,

How much do I want to do and how much do I want to be and what is the recipe that works for me,

I think it's good that you have regular things that you want to get done and then when you get those done,

Then you can be and you allow yourself to be.

The problem is when you have an endless list of things that you want to do and it is not balanced and you will never finish it and this is what happens to a lot of people I work with around time management,

They have an endless to-do list in many different categories in life,

So they feel always behind,

They feel I will never finish this,

I will never have the time to be with myself,

I don't have time to practice self-care and that is a very sad reality for many and that's why I'm questioning,

Is that true,

Can we reframe that reality,

Can we reframe the things that you have to do,

That you want to do into more doable steps,

Can we reframe what it means to end a specific task so that it means something that makes you feel well but it is more realistic and you have the time to finish it and then you start prioritizing also the being throughout your day because you will never run out of things to do,

That's the problem,

You will always have something else that you could do but you have to learn how to slow down sometimes and say no I'm not gonna do anything else for the next 15 minutes,

I'm just going to be,

I'm just going to lay down in the Sun,

I'm going to listen to a meditation,

I'm gonna have a nap,

I'm gonna go for a walk,

I'm gonna drink a glass of water and look out the window,

I'm gonna pet my dog,

I'm gonna have a conversation with my wife,

I'm gonna play a game,

So whatever that is for you but if you don't create that time,

No one else is going to create it for you and you will never be able to be and if you are not able to be,

You are not going to be able to reflect,

You are not gonna be able to really think about your life,

About what you are doing,

How you are feeling,

You're not gonna be able to tweak things,

You're not gonna be able to be as intentional as you could be because you are not taking time to even think about it and that's why it's so important to create time to just be,

To feel,

To be present,

To reflect and that is a little bit of doing,

Okay,

You are being and you are doing a little bit and that's fine but you are doing planning,

You are doing emotional processing,

You are doing something that is going to help you be more and do less and when you do,

You do it with more intention,

You do it more efficiently,

You do it because you chose to and you do it in the best possible way so that you can be efficient at it,

You're not wasting time,

You're not wasting energy.

Trish says it's helpful to have a good understanding of what being actually means,

Yeah Trish it's so important and that's why I feel that being can mean something different for each of you.

For me being means being present,

Noticing my breath,

Noticing how I feel in my body,

Noticing the emotions that are present for me right now,

Being able to notice them but from the distance,

I don't want to get involved in the emotions that I'm feeling,

I just want to notice them.

For me being is taking time to really think about my life,

Reflect about how I feel in different areas and there is a little bit of doing here and it is true but for me that's being time,

That's time that I am creating to be intentional,

To really reflect,

To really think about what do I want my day to look like,

My week to look like,

How do I feel about this activity.

Sometimes it's just meditation and it's complete silence,

Complete not doing anything,

Just completely being and again you are going to find what you need with the practice of it.

Some people need silence,

Don't do anything for a really long time,

Some people with five minutes they have enough to recharge,

It's gonna look different for each of you.

So Lisa says but I think I should spend the most time on being compared to each of my projects.

State of mind is not judgmental.

Lisa says I have so much to do every day but I think the only thing I can do is spend less time on each thing so that I have more time to be,

That might be the answer.

Yeah so for Lisa,

For all of you guys,

When I talk about the being and the doing,

Behind this there are executive functioning skills.

We all have executive functioning skills in our brains that we use on a daily basis.

If you want to learn more about them I do have a course that you can take here on Insight Timer and on my website too,

It's the same but it's a course that explains all of them.

Some of the executive functioning skills that are behind these are metacognition.

Metacognition is what allows you to think how you think,

To notice how you act.

Metacognition is the skill that allows you to reflect,

Allows you to see what you have done,

What you are doing,

To really think about this is working out for me,

Can I tweak something,

Can I change something and then you will go at it in a different way.

That's the metacognition executive functioning skill.

Another one in the background that is really powerful in here is the emotional self-regulation.

That's a skill that allows you to self-regulate strong emotions.

So if you are trying to be,

If you are trying to practice any kind of self-care and just be doing nothing and the emotion of feeling guilty,

The emotion of I'm wasting time,

The emotion of I'm being selfish,

If you are feeling emotionally charged and a story is running in the background telling you that you are whatever,

You are going to self-regulate.

How are you going to self-regulate?

Many different ways of doing it but basically you are becoming aware of the emotion and instead of you reacting to that emotion and getting lost in the emotion,

You are going to notice it and you are going to,

Okay I'm feeling guilty,

Okay I am feeling resistant,

Okay I feel selfish.

It doesn't mean that it has to be true,

It doesn't mean that it has to control you,

It doesn't mean that you have to do something with it.

You can just watch it,

Notice it and you are using your metacognition to become aware,

To bring awareness to it.

You are using your self-regulation skill to don't get lost and react to that,

To just stay present with it,

To be with it.

See,

You are being with it.

Then you can use your cognitive flexibility or adaptable thinking,

That is another executive functioning skill that is going to allow you to brainstorm ideas,

It's going to allow you to see possibilities,

That you have options to,

Okay I am feeling selfish because I have not finished that and because I am doing this self-care that I feel I don't deserve.

So what are the possibilities that are in front of me right now?

I can keep doing this,

I could finish the task and then after do this,

I could and then you start thinking about all the possibilities that are in front of you.

Okay,

That is adaptable thinking or cognitive flexibility.

Then you can use your prioritization skill to prioritize what's important for you and then you say self-care is important for me,

Until now I have not been able to do it but I want to create time for myself to just be.

So how am I gonna do that?

I'm going to prioritize it,

I'm going to time management,

I'm gonna do something so that I remind myself of what I want to be doing because it is a priority.

And then another one that is so important that you guys are talking about here,

About the doing,

Is task completion and sequencing.

Sequencing is the skill,

Executive functioning skill,

That allows you to take a project,

A big task and you're gonna break it down into sequences,

Into steps and you are going to reorganize those steps in a way that they are efficient,

In a way that you complete the task accordingly to the standard that you chose,

Right?

I want to complete this task so I have to do this first and then this and then this and then I will complete my task.

So that's the sequence in the order of the steps but the task completion is probably the most important one here.

The task completion is the executive functioning skill that you use to define what completed means.

So for example if I look at my guitar and I say I want to learn a song and I sit down with my guitar and my task completion is telling me you are going to learn this song,

Most likely I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna feel frustrated because I will not learn the song in one sitting.

I'm just setting myself up for failure,

Okay?

So I will always be frustrated,

I will always feel that I am not good enough because I'm setting too big of a goal for me.

But if I say no I'm gonna sit down for 20 minutes or I'm going to learn the lyrics of the song or I'm going to just strum the chords for five minutes,

So that task completion is completely different and now I'm gonna sit down,

I'm gonna complete that task and I'm gonna feel well with myself.

I am not gonna feel emotionally charged and then I am going to allow myself more time for being because I felt that I did something properly.

So you see how this works?

It's so important that you guys become aware of all these executive functioning skills because the more aware you are,

The better you're gonna function,

The more you are going to understand how you feel,

How you operate and how you choose,

How you decide and when you are mastering your mind and the way you act and you feel and you are noticing how you really act,

You're gonna be able to start creating more time for what's important for you.

And I bet you that self-care is gonna be one of the priorities for many of you,

At least it is for me,

Because if I neglect that everything else goes too.

So that's why for me it's so important to always stay connected with whatever I need to be doing so that allows me to just be.

That's why I enjoy going to the city and getting lost with no agenda and just be for maybe three hours.

That's why I take my wife and then we do that together.

We just go,

Hey let's go to Barcelona,

Let's just pick a random subway stop,

Let's just get out and let's just walk and then if we see a light,

If we see a picture,

If we see a person,

If we see something that calls our attention,

We go towards there.

We are completely present,

Paying attention,

Looking.

We are not doing anything,

We don't have any expectations and it's so wonderful to feel that that feeling of I am just being here.

There is nothing that needs to be done and then we do that for a few hours and then we feel amazing.

And then of course we have things to do,

We have to go to the school to get IVA,

We have to do dinners,

We have to do stuff but at least we create a window of time where we are just being together in this case.

So yeah thank you Diane for that.

You can take all courses when you have premium it's great,

Emilio's courses are amazing.

Thank you so much Diane.

Yeah I have courses about executive functioning skills,

I have one about intentional time management,

I have one about creating your clutter-free home,

I have one about self-care and I have one about minimalism.

So in everything that I do this being versus doing,

It's always present.

If you are trying to tackle your time management you are going to feel that sometimes you are doing but sometimes you have to be,

You have to reflect,

You have to create a different strategy.

You will also notice,

Like I probably notice,

That when I create time to just be and I do something where I am completely immersed in the present moment,

I receive creativity,

I receive ideas,

I connect with courses I could create,

Things I could do,

Actions I can take that I didn't think about and that always happens at least for me when I am doing something that I enjoy.

When I am practicing sports,

When I am getting lost in the city,

When I am learning how to ride my unicycle,

When I am playing squash,

When I am playing with my daughter in the beach,

When I'm doing something that it's self-care that and for me helps me feel grounded and in the present moment ideas show up very easily because I'm tapping into a different side of my brain.

I am relaxed,

I'm not stressed and I am open to receiving and this is why I can do these sessions twice a week and I don't have anything that I read,

I don't have structure,

I don't follow anything,

I just let my intuition guide me and I kind of set an intention but then I can just follow it because I try to be here with you guys,

I try to sense what's next,

What do I need to share next and I trust that I will share what's needed and sometimes it's scary but it works.

So CJ says you taught me the importance of building in transition in time between tasks so I have started using that period for self-care to just be.

CJ that is a wonderful example of how you can create a window of time to just be between tasks and this is another executive functioning skill guys that is called transitioning.

Transitioning or shifting also it's when you are transitioning from one task to another task.

Okay for example now I am doing a live session with you,

When I finish the live session I am going to transition into I am going to pick up my parents because today is Samantha's birthday so I'm gonna go to my parents house and I'm gonna bring them here so I'm going to transition from doing this task into going to pick my parents up so I can allow a little bit of time between those two tasks so that I can be and what does it mean to be?

Well I can stand up and stretch my legs,

I can drink a glass of water,

I can get out and stand in the sun for a couple minutes,

I can lay on the ground and stretch my back,

I can play my singing bowl,

I can juggle my balls,

I can have a coffee so that can be time that I'm using to just be,

Just decompress,

Just be present with myself right so you can do that with when you are transitioning from task to task that is a great way to to be intentional about even guys even 30 seconds of being if you do that every time you switch tasks every time you transition from task to task just imagine how many times you will do that throughout the day you are transitioning with intention and then before you start the next task you remind yourself okay what am I doing now okay I'm doing this what would I like to be what would I like from this time I would like this so you are kind of reminding yourself what you are doing why you are doing it when this task is going to be completed and the importance of it and then you are bringing a lot of awareness to that task a lot of presence and when you do that the more you do that the more you are mixing the doing with the being because you can be and do at the same time too and that is a state that it's wonderful to be in if you can.

Trish says I find when I procrastinate it's because of attaching negative emotions to that task yeah Trish that is so true for so many people many times we procrastinate because we there is something negative about the task that we are about to do there are many reasons why you can procrastinate and this is why understanding your executive functioning skills can be so so helpful because many times I work with people and the same task the same thing I have seen people struggle with that task procrastinating that task but many times it was a self-regulation problem it was an emotional self-regulation problem they were attaching something negative to the task they didn't feel good enough about doing that task and that was the problem some other times I noticed that people were procrastinating because they didn't know how to do it so that is a how-to problem that is a sequencing problem it's like okay I have to do this task I put it on the calendar it's approaching but deep inside I don't know how to take action on it I don't really know how to get started so in that case you are procrastinating because you have lack of information lack of skills lack of help there is something missing there that that is preventing you from from from doing that task some other times people procrastinate because they didn't do a good job of the task completion like defining what it means to complete the task for example they say I want to create a video on YouTube and I allow myself 30 minutes to do it and then that was me by the way and I was procrastinating I was procrastinating until I realized Emilio why are you procrastinating because it wasn't 30 minutes it was way more than that I have to think about the idea I have to think about the title of the video I have to write a description for the video I have to record the video I have to edit the video once I have the video done I have to share the video in every social media platform I have to upload it to my website so there is a lot of steps that needed to get done I need to think of hashtags I need to as you see I was I was not doing a good job of defining the task and I will never be able to complete that task in that amount of time that's why I was procrastinating so what did I do I change it okay this task is not creating a YouTube video this task is brainstorming ideas for video names and there is another task right in the description and then there is another task recording the video and there is another task editing the video and there is another task sharing the video and all the sudden it changed I didn't procrastinate anymore because it was easy it was doable it was short enough that I could get around it so just be aware of that when you are feeling a strong emotion like procrastination like overwhelmed like anxiety like stress there are many different angles that you can look at why you are feeling that way and there are many strategies and possibilities that you can explore to hopefully overcome that to move forward through that to understand it to become aware and to change what needs to be changed so that you can keep moving forward if that's what you want to in a different way so let me see so my son struggles with test anxiety any suggestions yeah so struggling with test anxiety that that's another example of being able to be without discomfort and really it's an opportunity to really think about why is this emotion present here first of all it is good that to notice it it's good to wow I'm feeling nervous I'm feeling like and I feel nervous when a test is coming so every person reacts differently to that kind of pressure some people function well with the pressure because they need that pressure to complete the task some other people they don't like that pressure they will complete the task without the pressure they prefer that so sometimes the test is it's a having that deadline makes you nervous because maybe you feel that you are not ready maybe you don't trust yourself enough and it's normal to feel a little bit nervous because you you are confronting an unknown thing you are doing a test that you don't know what they're gonna be asking you and you don't know if you're gonna be able to do a good job but the best that you can do is you prepare yourself as good as you can you study as much as you can and then you show up to that test feeling like I will do my best that's the best I can do and I will try to do the best I can with the knowledge I have and I have done the work of preparing for this some people feel that they need to prepare a lot some people feel that a little bit of preparation is enough that is very subjective but I I will say that it's important to really notice why is that there what do you need to alleviate that feeling is there anything that you haven't done that you feel guilty about is there anything that you can do extra to make that experience a bit less overwhelming and also like accepting that it's unknown when we are facing something unknown something uncertain something unfamiliar we need to accept that we're gonna do the best we can but we don't know what the result is gonna be and we have to be okay with that uncertainty too that is part of the journey so Jane says in teaching we call what Emilio just described as chunking to help students who struggle when you can help a student break a task into chunks it lowers their anxiety and allows them to get started yeah Jane that's a executive functioning skills are really key elements to teach children to be aware of them so that you can help them progress better through through school too and sequencing and task completion defining what a task looks like and making the task small enough that they can do it but not too small that is boring so you have to find and this is gonna look different for each kid too okay there are children that they have the capacity they are they are maybe more advanced and maybe the task that they need is this big that's enough for them to motivate them and challenge them but it's not too overwhelming that they feel they don't they cannot complete it some other kids they would have enough with this that will be enough to motivate them and then they will complete it without being bored and then there are other components also that may play into action there because every kid is different so it's very difficult to generalize what is the right strategy and I feel education is sometimes very difficult because you have a class with 20 or 30 kids and they all have different abilities different capabilities different ways of using their executive functioning skills and then what works for one kid is not gonna work the same for the other one that's why sometimes putting kids in boxes and trying to arrange how they learn sometimes is challenging because they have different ways of learning and that is okay but of course a teacher in front of maybe 20 or 30 kids has a hard time having even the time to be with each kid independently and finding the best way for that kid so it's it's trying to do the best you can right with what you have.

T says think I am so used to performing under pressure but it makes me anxious as hell we're not under pressure though I procrastinate until I am in trouble so T it's good that you are noticing that and it's good that you are aware that you perform under pressure but that it also creates anxiety in you so when you notice that now you have an opportunity to really be with yourself and to really decide how do I want to to approach this next time if I have to do this again what can I try differently so that I don't feel so much anxiety or that I don't feel that I don't have motivation and I need a deadline so what do you need to function better and try a different strategy because every person is different sometimes people need a deadline sometimes people don't want a deadline sometimes you feel anxiety because maybe you are microcontrolling what needs to happen and maybe if you just let go a little bit that alleviates that anxiety so there are many ways of trying and testing and tweaking so that you can try different approaches and see which one works better but this is the work this is you are using your metacognition skill to become aware to understand how you act and then you are making new decisions you are saying next time I run into this situation I am going to try this instead and then you have to be present while you are doing that using the new approach and this is where being and doing get mixed up again together when you are trying to change a habit okay because you are doing something different it's not a repetition that you have done for who knows how many years you need to bring presence to the present moment to do this in a different way so you are trying to change a habit you are trying to do it in a different way so you have to be very present so that you remember and you do it in a different way you don't follow the pattern that you have created that you have done a thousand times you are doing something different so that's when the doing and the being they need to go along together because if not you will not be able to create a new habit and then you are gonna be and do at the same time on a different way you are gonna repeat that until it becomes a habit until it becomes more easily doable without thinking without being present and this is a very good example driving a car I'm sure that many of you know how to drive a car can you remember the first time that you sat behind the wheel I remember I had the steering wheel I had the brake I had the accelerator I was learning manual so I had to shift gears and use the clench and I had to signal and I had to look through the mirrors and I had to pay attention to the cars coming in all directions so do you think I had the capacity to drive a car and to pay attention and to have a conversation no I didn't because I was completely hundred percent present and I just didn't know how to drive okay so what happened I was driving and I was like this for many weeks until it became second nature until until it became a habit now I can drive I can switch gears I can brake I can pay attention to the traffic I can have a conversation with with the person and I can listen to music and I can look at the landscape I can do several things at once so I don't have to be as present but when I was learning I was doing and being at the same time because I had no idea I had to pay so much attention to everything it was all new to me now I can do it without being there it's not really good but it's the reality that's why you can multitask things sometimes you can do several things at once because you have done them so many times that it became a habit you don't have to think about them they just happen but what happens when you only do do do what you have always done and you never allow time to do something while being there that you never change then you will keep doing the same thing over and over forever and sometimes you are trying to change habits you are trying to evolve you're trying to do something different and it requires being you have to create time for being and that's how you will change doing with being at the same time bringing that presence so this is so when you are doing the video for example do you schedule each part in for how long per day and then how do you transition to the next task so there are different ways of doing these with this example of the video for example you can approach it in different ways sometimes some people function well creating a window of time that it says this is for video creation for example and then you will define how many videos do I want to create in my case I say I want to create one video per week okay so how how much time do I need so maybe I need two hours one hour three hours it depends on the level of the video but I will define that in this case right now what I do is like I do these sessions I record them and I have a video so every week I produce two videos okay so I allow time for those two videos when do I do them what the live sessions they need to happen at 3 p.

M.

My time here because that's when you guys are expecting me right but the editing the processing the publishing it I can do it after it doesn't have to be a specific day and time okay so what I do I normally get it done after finishing the session but today for example I have to go so I will do it when I have the time today so I don't have to do that specific time and I have it on my to-do but some people work we're creating a list of the things that they want to do in a day or in a week but they don't need to have those things in the agenda so per se some people they need to have them in the agenda and they want to force them to do it a specific time and day and that's okay too so you have to test and tweak to see what recipe works best for you okay because it's different for each person so I will suggest that you try both approaches try one see how it goes and if it doesn't work then question it why didn't it work what can I do different and then follow your intuition think about the possibilities that you have and then follow your intuition about which one feels best and then follow that test it and then maybe you like it maybe you don't if you like it just keep doing it if you don't like it then what else can you do maybe you need to break that task down into smaller tasks or maybe you can do it all at once or maybe you have to do them in a different location this is something that happened to me sometimes doing these kind of things at home is just not good for me so I just go to the library or I go to a coffee place and then I put my headphones on and then I can focus for maybe one or two hours get it done and then I come back home and I don't feel distracted sometimes I do that because it helps me but everything is about testing and tweaking okay it's all about trying different strategies okay well guys that this is what I had for you today really wanted to cover the difference between being and doing and how important it is to create time for being how sometimes you can be and do at the same time and how important it is to understand executive functioning skills to understand how they play in your time management your organization in your prioritization and how also the role of the emotional self-regulation when you are feeling charged when you are feeling emotion showing up because you are feeling like I don't want to take time off I need to keep doing things I'm too busy I don't deserve time off I people need me you will always keep doing and doing and doing and many times we keep doing because we know how to do but we may feel uncomfortable being if we stop doing sometimes we create time to confront things that we don't want to look at unconsciously we want to avoid because they are uncomfortable they are messy maybe we don't quite know how to do it yet and we just keep to the doing doing doing doing because it's easier than being that's a truth many times that's why so many people are work or colleagues that's why so many people are always doing something because they don't want to be alone they don't want to have time to think because they don't want to confront they don't want to feel it's too uncomfortable too painful too uncertain too stressful too anxiety provoked but if you don't create time for that eventually it's gonna come out somehow so you can avoid avoid avoid but eventually it will come out in a different way and sometimes you may not like it how it comes out so I invite you to create more time so when under the pressure how do you get into the being would you mind a brief review self-regulating to get into the present so T when you are under pressure the first is for you to notice it I am under pressure I am feeling X Y and Z and that's okay this is how I'm feeling right now validate it it's the truth for you right now then how can you self-regulate just you can breathe take a few deep breaths you can lay down and listen to something guided that calms you down maybe there is a song that really and relaxes you maybe doing something rhythmic really can help you self-regulate maybe that's walking maybe that's yelling maybe that's dancing doing something that is rhythmic and repetitive it really comes people down a lot sometimes it's rocking in a chair you can just rock yourself sometimes it's temperature change maybe you take a shower maybe yeah you go swimming if you can so play with different different things until you find what really helps you self-regulate and calm down it's gonna look different for each of you but I invite you to think about options I invite you to create your own self-care list and I invite you to start using it when you feel out of balance so that you know every time I do this meditation I just feel this way every time I drink a glass of water and I take three deep breaths I know I feel this way every time I jump on my unit cycle that's for me I always end up laughing it's just so playful so try to find what makes you feel happy and I promise you that you will find it okay so guys thank you for being here if you enjoy this session I would appreciate if you can support me with a donation donations now come hundred-percent to the teachers here on inside timer so that's a wonderful change that they just made recently so support me with a donation if you can and you can also enjoy my courses you can join and I will support you in the course classroom every course has lifetime access and you can access the course classroom where I will support you with a with a response to every question that you may have and I really really love being a part of your journey so hope to see you there and you can also join my circle it's called your thriving lifestyle okay and you can ask questions there if you want yeah Susie says I have two goals and toss them hand to hand very mindful activity yeah Susie juggling is a really really nice activity that helps you be present helps yourself regulate it helps you be playful and yeah it's a it's it's a really nice nice activity that it's a I will say that juggling combines doing and being because you are actually juggling but you are being 100% in the present moment because you have to pay attention to the ball to everything so it's a really good activity to to practice mindfulness to practice like being and doing at the same time okay okay thank you guys so much I hope to see you next week and I hope to see you inside my courses if you can before the next session okay have a wonderful rest of your day and I will see you then adios