Atomic Habits - Break Old Habits (Live Recording)

Learn practical strategies to master tiny behaviors daily that will lead you to remarkable results in the long run. Join me live to cover the contents of this amazing book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. It's time to reshape the way you think and transform your habits. Ready for transformation?

Transcript

Good morning everybody.

Welcome to another life with me.

Buenos dias.

Good morning Rachel.

Good morning Beth.

How are you guys doing today?

Good morning Brittany.

Happy Thursday everybody.

So happy to be here with you again.

Good morning Tom from North Carolina.

Thank you for being here.

Is this your first time?

I think I've seen you before.

Good morning Susan.

Good morning Vicky and Susie.

Thank you guys.

So nice to see your faces again.

I have enjoyed your talks many times.

Thank you Tom for commenting and for participating.

Hello from Barcelona.

Día.

That's my city.

Where in Barcelona do you live?

That's amazing.

So happy to have someone from my city.

In Gracia.

Such a beautiful neighborhood.

I am going to Barcelona on November 18th for two weeks to visit my family and friends.

So I will make sure to walk around Gracia because I love the neighborhood.

So nice to see someone from my city.

Drake in New York.

Amazing.

Alteubarri.

Almeubarri is Santa Coloma de Grand Manet.

It's not Barcelona.

It's close.

It's at the end of the yellow.

.

.

At the end of the red line.

Underground line.

Fondo.

That's where my parents live.

Amazing guys.

So today we are going to be talking about.

.

.

Hey CJ.

Good morning.

We are going to be talking about this book.

I just want to share a few things that I like from this book.

How many people have read this book?

It's called Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Good morning Marisa.

Yes.

And I did read this book many years ago.

And I remember I loved it so much.

Right?

I loved it.

So I thought it would be relevant to bring it to this live session today.

Because I talk a lot about time management.

I talk a lot about intentional living and making changes and decluttering your home.

And in order to be able to do those things,

You have to have time.

So you need to create the time that you need to do those changes.

And you have to change your habits.

Because if you create change,

But you don't create your habits,

How you function,

Then you are going to go back to what you used to do very quickly.

And then you are going to have the same results that you used to have.

And I see this a lot with people who are trying to declutter their homes.

And then they get a burst of inspiration.

And then they get a lot done.

But then they didn't take the time to change their habits,

To change their methods,

To change their routines that they follow.

So when they lowered their intention,

Their habits created the mess again,

The same way.

So that's why it's important to create those habits.

And this book talks about the atomic habits.

Okay?

What is an atomic habit?

It's such a tiny,

Tiny,

Tiny,

Tiny action that you take that is a part of a big process.

And then the book says that by creating a 1% change in your habits,

It will compound over time to create a massive change in your life.

Okay?

Habit stacking is one of the options that the book shares.

But I always think that it's a.

.

.

How many of you guys are familiar with the compound interest?

When you have investments,

You have money invested somewhere,

And they talk about the compound interest.

That you get 3%,

6%,

Whatever you get,

Right?

And many people put money in investments,

And then in a period of 10,

20,

30 years,

They grow with the compound interest,

Because it keeps adding interest on top of the interest,

On top of the interest.

And little quantities of money monthly become a huge result after a period of time,

Right?

The longer,

The better.

So with habits,

It's the same thing.

Okay?

So this is a graph that represents that.

Okay?

So this is.

.

.

If you make 1% improve every day in whatever habit you are trying to create,

This is what you will see in your life,

Right?

It's a pretty big change over time.

If you don't do anything,

You will stay here.

And if you do a 1% worse every day,

You will just come down here.

So that little 1% is what is going to help you,

Like,

Start making changes.

And it compounds.

Why does it compound?

Because when you make a little change,

Then you will have the capacity to make another little change on top of that one.

And then you will have the capacity to do another little change on top of the two that you have done.

And then over time,

You're going to start building,

Building,

Building,

Until your capacity for that new habit,

It's automatic.

You have created that.

Okay?

Good morning,

Naomi.

So for those people who have read the book,

I would like for you to share,

Do you remember what was your main takeaway or something that you grabbed from the book that you really liked?

Someone mentioned habit stacking.

That's a great way of doing creating new habits on top of existing ones.

And I am going to cover that,

What the book says about that.

But what was one of your main takeaways for those of you who have read the book?

I would really love to get out of your mind,

Like,

What was something that kind of resonated with you?

Something that you remember that that was really nice or really cool?

Feel free to share it in the comments,

Because I think it's nice to know what you people liked.

Okay?

So the book really talks about the importance of those atomic habits,

The importance of making new habits so tiny that you can take the step and it's not overwhelming.

It is not scary and it is convenient.

Okay?

One of the things that the book talks about that is really nice,

Too,

It's systems versus goals.

Okay?

How many of you have goals?

I have goals.

How many of you have goals?

Goals in fitness,

Goals for business,

Goals for self-care,

Goals for I want to exercise more,

I want to meditate more,

I want to eat healthier,

I want to visit my family more often,

I want to stop eating chips at nighttime while I watch Netflix,

I want to whatever that is,

Right?

Everybody has goals,

Some sort of goals,

Right?

How many of you have systems in place to make those goals a reality?

I do.

In some areas,

I do have really good systems,

In some others maybe I could do better,

But systems is what is going to help you achieve that goal.

So the book talks about the importance of working and focusing on the systems.

Okay?

Because having a goal is great.

It's like,

For example,

I want to exercise more.

So the goal will be I want to exercise three times a week.

Okay?

But maybe exercising three times a week out of the bag is not something that you can do because if you don't exercise at all,

That's a very big goal.

But what are the systems that you are putting in place now to make that a reality?

That's what's important.

And that's what the book will talk about.

The little atomic habits that you start creating so that you can make that big goal a reality.

Okay?

So there is another graph here and he talks about the valley of disappointment.

And I think that's really,

Really interesting.

So it says that when you are trying to make change.

Okay?

Good morning,

Amy.

When you are trying to do change,

This is what you would like to see,

Right?

Yes,

Change happening consistently.

And that's it.

But the reality is that that's not true.

The change.

So you will start if you decide that you want a specific goal,

You will start working on that specific goal,

But you are not going to start seeing improvement right away.

Sometimes it takes a little bit of time until you get to where you want to be and then you exceed your expectations.

But this period of time where you are working,

But you don't see results,

That's what they call the valley of disappointment.

And that's where many of us get stuck because we get in that valley of disappointment,

We stop doing what we are doing,

And then we will never see results because we give up.

Because we thought,

This is not working.

I have to let this go because it's not working.

So no,

You didn't let enough time for that to happen.

Buenos dias,

Amy.

Amy,

I want to let you know that I did contact Insight Timer because I am aware that your class,

Your classroom engagement in my course,

Embracing Minimalism,

Has disappeared.

So I am aware of that and I have sent them an email.

Okay?

So I just want you to know that.

And thank you for being in the course classroom.

Erin,

You say,

I have goals in 10 aspects of life.

I'm writing out what to work on at the start of each month.

Then plan each week's steps toward those goals.

That's amazing.

That's really amazing,

Erin.

Would you be willing to share the 10 aspects of your life that you have so that we can get an idea?

Because that's amazing.

And I have seven categories when I do my creation,

I call it.

I have body,

I have mind,

I have family,

I have social,

I have work,

I have staff,

And I have giving back.

But you can create whatever makes sense to you,

Right?

And I'm just curious to know what your categories are.

So thank you.

Amy says,

Thank you.

Value of disappointment in the addiction paradigm is the shame remorse relapse cycle.

Now we know relapse is part of recovery.

Yeah.

That's really.

So the book has an example,

Right?

Explains how if you put an ice cube on the counter,

OK,

And then the ice cube is ice,

It doesn't melt.

And your goal is to melt it.

OK,

So you start increasing the temperature degree by degree,

Degree by degree.

Right.

So you start you start doing one degree more,

One degree more,

One degree more.

But you don't see any results,

Right?

You don't see anything happening.

The ice is not melting.

So you may think this is not working.

I have to stop because this is not working.

But if you keep increasing one degree,

One degree,

One degree,

There is a point that that degree will make a difference.

Right.

That degree will start melting the ice and you will start seeing the ice melting.

OK,

So the entire process was necessary for you to melt the ice,

The ice cube.

But if you stop,

Then it will never melt because you didn't allow the process to unfold.

That's an example that the book shares.

And it's a great example because it talks about the atomic habits that are happening,

Right?

One degree,

One degree.

It doesn't make any difference.

But there is one degree that does make the whole difference.

But for that degree to make the whole difference,

You needed to do all the other degrees first.

OK,

So it is the same with habits.

It is the same with when we are trying to create something,

We need to stick to the process.

We need to be patient and we need to keep the consistency until we get what we need.

OK,

So the book says forget about goals and focus on your systems first.

OK,

Instead.

And it says what happens if you forget about your goals,

But you have good systems?

Are you likely to achieve what you want?

What do you think?

Yes or no?

So you have a goal and you have systems.

You forget about the goal,

But you have the systems in place that are going to help you move forward to whatever goal you had.

So you forget about the goal altogether and you keep the system that you created.

Will you get the goal?

Yes or no?

So CCS says persistent and consistent.

Amy says yes,

That is hopeful.

In feeling my chronic illness,

It feels like nothing is happening,

But at some point my ice cube will melt.

Absolutely it will.

So Becky says yes,

Absolutely.

Guys,

If you want to say I want to lose 10 pounds,

That's my goal.

OK,

I want to lose 10 pounds.

If you forget about losing the 10 pounds,

But you have systems that make you eat better,

Make you exercise,

Makes you walk more.

If you have those systems in place and you have the habit of doing that,

Would you say you will lose the pounds automatically?

Yes.

What happens if you forget about the systems and focus only on the goal?

Would you get the goal?

Yes or no?

So if you forget about the systems,

You don't follow systems and you only think about your goal.

I want to lose 10 pounds.

I want to lose 10 pounds.

But you don't put systems in place and you don't follow them.

How likely are you to lose 10 pounds?

No,

Absolutely you won't because you are not doing what you have to do.

So that's why the goal is your guiding star.

The goal is that thing that is guiding you towards a direction.

But the systems is what you are doing to move yourself towards that direction.

OK,

Putting the behavior on autopilot systems reduce the mental load.

Yeah,

Catherine,

Absolutely.

And that's what the book says.

For you to create a new habit,

The only way to do it is to repeat,

Repeat,

Repeat.

The more you repeat,

The easier it's going to be for you to create that habit and to make it on autopilot.

So that you don't need to think about it.

So Erin says,

I actually have nine aspects,

Health,

Mental,

Emotional,

Spiritual and physical,

Personal development,

Creative,

Finance,

Romance,

Family,

Household,

Community and recreation,

Free time.

That's amazing,

Erin.

Can I ask,

Where did you learn how to do this system?

Like what inspired you to do this?

Did you learn it in a book?

Did you learn it from someone?

What inspired you to start that process?

I'm just curious because maybe you know of a book that I haven't read yet or maybe someone inspired you that I'm not aware of.

I'm always curious to know,

Like,

What was the spark of inspiration for you to say,

I want to do this this way?

I would love if you want to share that.

OK.

So then they excuse me,

Getting things done.

I realize this.

So the book says a system of atomic habits.

Right.

And it talks about if you are having trouble changing your habits,

The problem is not you.

The problem is your system.

OK,

But habits repeat themselves again and again,

Not because you don't want to change them,

But because you have the wrong system to change.

OK,

You do not rise to the level of your goals.

You fall to the level of your systems.

So you fall to the level of your habits.

OK,

What do you guys think about that?

So you do not rise to the level of your goals.

You fall to the level of your habits or systems that you have in place.

What comes up for you guys when you when you think about that?

Erin says leadership courses through my degree from Purdue University in organizational leadership and supervision.

Graduated in 2013.

Amazing Erin.

That's awesome.

I'm so happy to see you having such a strong system and it feels it feels to me that you are motivated.

And can I ask you,

Erin,

Because you are sharing so much.

Can I ask you,

How do you keep yourself motivated?

How do you keep yourself in the process of always creating habits that are serving you and letting go of things that don't serve you?

What what are the steps that you will recommend people in this group to follow that are working for you?

And I always love asking people who are doing this and just sharing what's working for you.

Right.

And sharing how you are doing it,

Because that's an inspiration for others to maybe follow suit or maybe learn something that they didn't know or become aware of a system that they didn't know.

So I would love,

Please,

If you can share your your secret to stay motivated and to keep making progress in whatever direction you want.

Values lead to goals lead to task systems.

That's something that the book also talks about,

Like the importance of of choosing your identity.

And then from there,

You create your your habits rather than working the opposite.

So I like how that's worded.

I feel less defeated and more hopeful in trying to change systems and strategies.

Thank you,

Rachel.

That's absolutely true.

This sounds correct.

But when you are in this period,

It's very hard for someone to change alone.

I think you need an outside help.

Absolutely.

Teodora,

The book also talks surrounding yourself by people who are doing what you want to do,

People who are who you want to become.

It's way easier than.

So that's that's a great step for you to do that.

Right.

For example,

If you want to become an entrepreneur,

You just go and network with people who are entrepreneurs.

If you want to exercise more,

You go to a gym and you get yourself in an environment that exercising is the rule.

Everybody's excited about it.

Right.

I wanted to become a really good squash player.

What did I do?

Go to the gym as much as I could.

And then I was emailing the best people of the club and asking them,

Do you want to play with me?

Do you want to do drills with me?

And some people say no.

Some people say yes.

And that's how I got into that scene.

Right.

And that's how my squash increased.

So you have to surround yourself by by what you want to become.

OK,

I have an accountability partner.

This keeps me motivated.

Amazing.

I learned that from Alan's book.

Yeah.

If your tasks and goals don't align with your values,

It doesn't truly fulfills you.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

So true.

OK.

So Atomic Habits,

The book also says it's a regular practice or routine that is not only a small and easy to do,

Small and easy to do,

But also the source of incredible power.

OK.

A component of the system.

Of growth.

OK,

So if you want to grow really a lot,

Everything you have to start with little things.

Right.

And then those little things will start accumulating and then you will make a huge change.

But it all starts with very atomic,

Very tiny changes.

Right.

That that easy to do.

And that's one of the secrets of the book.

You have to make it easy.

You have to make it convenient.

OK,

So what else did I see?

So talking about behavior change and you guys have brought this up before the identity,

Right?

Some of you,

I think that was a real I think.

Yeah.

So you say if your tasks and goals don't align with your values,

It doesn't truly fulfill you.

So if if whatever you are doing doesn't align with the person you want to be with your identity,

Then it's very difficult for you to actually take action because it doesn't feel aligned with you.

Right.

And this is what the book talks about.

And it makes a graph that looks really nice.

Right.

So you have a circle and then the identity is in the middle.

The processes is the second circle and the outside circle is the outcomes.

Right.

So many times we try to make change starting with the outcome.

So you start with the outcome.

The outcome will define the processes that you use and then those processes and the results will define your identity.

So this is one way of doing this.

But the book recommends to do the opposite way.

You start with your identity.

Who do you want to become?

What do you want to do?

From there,

You create processes that feel aligned with that and then the outcomes will be automatic.

They will just happen because you are going to start doing something that feels aligned,

That feels good.

You're going to enjoy that process and then the results are going to come by themselves.

You don't have to work towards them.

You are already doing the work.

So Erin says,

I keep my goals listed and updated and a progress circle next to each to fill in like a pie.

This allows me to this allows me a visual to see accomplishments.

It's all about balance,

Working on each aspect.

Amazing.

So Erin,

You are reflecting.

You said that thing on a weekly basis,

Right?

So every week you look at your pie chart and then you see a pie for each area and then you kind of color it.

Depending on the progress that you are doing and you also write down the specific tasks that the specific tasks that you want to do for each area.

Is that what you do on a weekly basis?

Yeah,

That's that's amazing.

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

I'm really grateful that you are sharing.

OK.

I love in the book when he uses the example of quilting,

Quitting smoking and saying I'm not a smoker versus I am trying to quit smoking.

Violette,

Amazing.

This is what is so important to to to really focus on who you wish to become.

OK.

We all need to be friends with Erin.

Yeah,

That's a great accountability banner right there.

So,

Yeah.

So,

Guys,

Who do you want to become?

Yes.

Typing the chat.

What is something that you want to become?

OK.

Don't tell me the goal.

Tell me who do you want to become?

Maybe someone is like,

My goal is to write a book so you can say I want to become a writer.

Someone says,

My goal is to create my own business.

So do you want to become an entrepreneur?

And you can even be playful.

I want to become a successful and playful entrepreneur that gets paid for doing what I love.

So what do you want to become?

Who do you want to become?

Just type in the chat things that come up for mine.

Things that come up to your to mine for you.

I will be very happy to read them because that's your identity,

Guys.

I am a health and fitness expert.

Great.

So now you know what what to start creating Violette.

You know how what kind of systems you may enjoy developing.

And when you develop those systems,

The outcome of becoming a fitness expert is just going to happen automatically over time because you are already doing the work.

So for you,

What comes to mind?

Violette,

Do you want to share?

So you are a health and fitness expert.

What are some processes that you have in place or that you are putting in place to become that?

Amy says,

I am a published author.

This is very much analogous with addiction recovery.

I've been homeless,

Got sober 14 years now and was relapsing for two decades in severe bulimia.

Hospitalized several times.

The turning point for me was.

Surrendering to systems that work for all this I could see in their eyes,

They were not lying.

What they did worked,

So I did every single thing they told me to until I was ready to integrate those systems in my own way.

That's amazing.

I mean,

That's great sometimes.

And this is something that if you listen to like super successful people and super like.

Yeah,

Like Tony Robbins or Brendan Bouchard or like any of these huge like coaches,

They always say the same thing.

The easiest way to create change is to model some someone that has done it.

And that's the fastest way for you to do it.

Right.

So if you don't know how to do it,

Surround yourself with someone who has done it.

Ask them questions.

And Amy did that.

She didn't know how to do it.

Maybe she was in the hole,

Not feeling well.

But then she trusted whoever has done it and she saw the results that they created for themselves.

So she did the same thing until she felt confident and well enough to then align herself with whatever she feels was right.

But she needed that extra help to get to a point where she felt confident.

Right.

And this is what sometimes we need.

So Violet says cooking healthy meals.

Amazing.

I want to become my own personal chef.

Becky,

Come to my house,

Please.

And good for me.

I don't want to cook anymore.

Becky,

You are a personal chef.

Amazing,

Guys.

So,

Guys,

Start with your identity.

What is your identity?

Who do you want to become?

And anytime you want to create a new habit,

Start thinking about that.

Right.

So,

For example,

The goal is not to read a book.

The goal is to become a reader.

OK,

So Becky says you are personal chef.

Yeah,

That's beautiful.

You got this.

The goal is not to run a marathon.

OK,

It is to become a runner.

OK.

The goal is not to learn an instrument.

The goal is to become a musician.

OK.

So,

Again,

Pay attention to what you tell yourself.

OK,

Because maybe you are saying,

Oh,

I'm terrible with directions.

Or maybe you're saying I'm not a morning person.

Or maybe you're saying I am bad at remembering people's names.

Don't be negative about this.

Just tune it around.

And this is something that we learn also in the law of attraction.

Tune things around into a positive way.

Instead of you saying I am terrible with directions,

You can say I am a great guy.

Or I am in the process of learning my city really well.

Or whatever comes up for you.

OK,

So this says I want to be an artist.

Yeah,

I mean,

You asked the question I was about to ask.

What kind of artist do you want to to become?

Yeah,

I would love to know.

And are you already doing anything about art related?

I'm just curious.

So Brenda says I will live my life by listening to my inner wisdom and following the path that aligns with my higher self and purpose in life.

Amazing,

Brenda.

That's beautiful.

Do you have currently,

Do you know what your purpose in life is?

Or have you divided in different areas of life and kind of have some sort of direction in where you are planning on moving towards?

Because that will be a good next step for you.

But if you know,

I will be curious to know,

Brenda,

If you want to share.

Dia says filmmaking background,

Not training in visual arts,

But trying them all.

That's amazing,

Dia.

I have to say that I personally enjoy a lot making films and creating content.

I'm not a professional by any means,

But I became way better by doing it.

Right.

And sometimes is what you say.

You just need the experience.

So that's amazing,

Dia.

Filmmaking background,

Not training in visual arts,

But trying them all.

So you are an artist.

You are a videographer,

A filmmaker.

Sarah says Amy,

That is an amazing story.

Brenda says,

Great point.

I am in academia,

But I'm driving to do my work outside of it in the realm of spiritual activism,

Teaching,

Writing outside of that realm.

That's great,

Brenda.

So you have two lines going on here,

Right?

So you have your regular job,

But then you are expanding into your personal interest.

And for you is it what you just said there,

Right?

That spiritual activism,

Teaching and it's.

I am the siren.

Thank you.

Yeah.

So so that that's what you're planning for yourself.

So you are going to start creating systems and then putting your energy into starting developing that.

And they can coexist for a while,

Right?

Like you don't have to let go of what you are doing on academia and just they can both exist at the same time.

For me,

When I started this business of like teaching and intentional living,

Like I didn't just jump into like completely in one day I was I had a job and then I started to transition slowly.

And then in a period of like I think it was almost a year I started to like I was doing part time and then I was doing two days a week and then one day a week and then I was just calling them every Friday and telling them when I was available.

And at the end,

Like I just let it go.

But it was a very nice process for me.

So sometimes,

Especially when people are trying to create their own work and they need to get paid for it.

It just takes time,

Guys.

You have to allow yourself time and sometimes taking care of your day to day paying bills.

It's important and it's necessary.

And you don't want to put that pressure into your creative gig that is not developed yet.

So you cannot expect that to produce all the money that you need in one day.

You need time to like create that.

Right.

So that's why sometimes it's easier if you have both things going on and just look inside and see what feels aligned with you.

And depending on your finances and depending on how you feel and depending how things are unfolding for you,

You will know when is the right time to maybe let go of something or you will know if it feels good to keep both going.

So you will know that I promise you will.

Emilio,

Any suggestions if you are changing careers after 30 years but have no idea what I want to do next must bring me joy,

No more stress from high level job in the film industry?

Susan,

That's a great question.

And I bet you so many people are facing that.

Sometimes myself,

I face that.

What would happen if I couldn't do this anymore?

Right.

What would I do?

And there is a really cool exercise,

Susan,

That I learned from a book.

I can't remember the name of the book,

But it was to create three to five realities for yourself.

Okay.

So this is a dreaming session.

So you sit down,

You close your eyes and then you come up with if I couldn't do what I'm doing right now and I am completely starting from scratch,

What is something that I will enjoy doing?

And then you create one reality and you visualize it.

And then you create another reality and you visualize it.

And it can be anything that you want.

It doesn't have to even make sense.

But by doing that,

You are starting to explore.

You are you're starting to tap into your dreaming mind.

And guys,

When we allow ourselves to dream,

Let me tell you that great ideas come out of that place.

Some ideas are crazy and not tangible,

But some others are great ideas that you never thought of.

So when you allow yourself that space and time to be curious,

No expectations,

And you allow yourself a little bit of time to explore options,

You will come out of that process with clarity,

With ideas to maybe try things.

And again,

You don't have to decide to fuck a real right now and commit to it for the rest of your life.

You can give it a try.

You can get a sense of it.

Okay,

So I don't know what ideas will come to you.

Susan,

I don't know what industry you feel aligned with or what kind of work you think is you may be doing something with your hands.

Is it something more creative?

Is it something spiritual?

Is it something mindless?

You just want to show up,

Do the job and go home and develop your hobbies?

Or do you want your career to be also like fulfilling for you?

Again,

You start asking yourself a lot of questions,

And that's going to help you find options.

Again,

You are not going to find the option right away.

Most likely you will need a little bit of time.

Okay,

But those are some ideas that come to mind to hopefully help you get started in the process.

I was actually thinking,

Susan,

To do one of the sessions in maybe two or three weeks on how to create your passion business,

Because that's something that is very inside my heart,

Right?

I did that 10 years ago,

And I know that a lot of people in this economy now,

They are thinking about how can I make my passion a career?

How can I monetize what I love doing,

Right?

So there are some concepts out there that are really cool,

And I was thinking to maybe do a session about that.

So if you guys think that's something that you may be interested in,

Let me know in the chat and I can book one of those sessions to be about how to make a living out of your passion,

Out of the things that fulfill you.

So Violet says,

Absolutely Brenda,

I have wanted to be a teacher for a long time and recently started teaching a college course while still doing my full time job,

Which I also love.

Amazing.

Amy says,

I want to translate my one woman spoken word performance on my recovery into a published book with illustrations.

That's amazing.

A book with a piece of music,

Sold separately.

I devoted my life to service when I recovered.

I would like to heal this chronic illness and make money from the book while helping others.

Yeah,

Amy,

That's amazing.

And let me tell you that majority of the people who has a lot of influence and who are great coaches,

They are who they are because of what happened in their lives.

They went through such difficult times in their lives that they learned so much from those times that then they came out of those dark times with a lot of energy with a lot of motivation to help others who are in that same situation.

So if you go through all that hell that you're going through and you can get out of it,

And then you can share your wisdom and experience with others.

That's a beautiful way for you to,

To just share what you what you have learned right.

And I'm sure that you will help a lot of people who are in the same problem.

Wonderful.

I have time now to dream great suggestions.

So Susan,

Give it a go to that dreaming session and then see what comes out.

It's so much fun.

I did it with my wife,

A while ago and I was just amazed at some of the options right one option was becoming a self instructor in Mexico and I visualize myself on the beach having my hat.

And it was really kind of cool.

And then another one was to open a franchise of GlideOut in Kelowna,

And another one was like go to Spain and become a guide for Canadians so have my business here in Canada and then my only job is to two or three times a year I bring a group of Canadians to Barcelona and to Spain and I give them an amazing tour.

Great ideas came that I will be willing to explore if I needed to.

So,

Yeah,

Give it a try.

Yes please Yes please.

Okay.

So I'm writing down the passion business idea so that I don't forget.

Okay,

For another session.

Thank you guys.

I'm a self instructor in Mexico,

You can do this.

Yeah,

Of course I can do that.

So I always wanted to learn how to deserve.

Okay,

So my god it's 40 minutes already into the session.

So,

Some other,

Some other things that came in the book that I liked.

So the book talk about talks about how we create habits right,

And then he talks about how to build better habits.

So these are some examples that I thought they were,

They were kind of cool.

Okay,

So,

For example,

How we create habits one example.

Imagine that the queue so it says that the way we create habits is we have a queue.

A queue that insights us into the habit.

And then we have a craving.

And then we have a response.

And then we get a reward.

And that's the cycle of habits,

They have a creation.

So let me share one example for you.

So your phone buses with a new text message,

That's the queue.

That's what gets you in a habit of.

So the craving is you want to learn.

What's in that message.

So now you are curious,

You're curious about Oh,

What does that message says the response is you grab your phone and read the text message,

And the reward is you satisfy your craving to read the message,

And then grabbing your phone becomes associated with your phone buzzing.

So you have created the habit of grabbing your phone.

When your phone buses.

That's one example.

Okay.

Another example.

So you wake up in the morning.

You want to feel alert and awake.

So you drink a cup of coffee.

So now you satisfy your craving of feeling alert and awake by drinking coffee.

So drinking coffee becomes associated with waking up.

And that's a habit that you will form.

And now every time you want to wake up,

You will drink a cup of coffee.

So you can change a habit by changing the queue right you can change a habit by thinking about that process.

So that's the behavior of change right.

And then how can you change these things.

There are different ways that the book suggests on how you can change habits,

Guys,

How can you change habits.

What comes up to mind for you.

What would you do to change a habit that you want to change how did you don't like,

What will you do,

Just share with me steps ideas.

So Amy says I want to change my eating habits.

Okay.

So what comes to mind,

Guys,

How can Amy change her eating habits,

What are some ideas.

So substitute with a good habit.

Okay.

I like to snooze when my alarm goes off.

Replace with another habit replace with replace it with a healthier habit meal prep.

Okay.

So but practically speaking,

How do you do it.

So,

If I want to stop eating chips.

For example,

That's my habit.

Every,

Let's say that every night I come home.

I'm tired.

I stopped buying buying chips,

That's what I actually do I stopped.

So you make it and convenient right.

So you eliminate the trigger the queue.

Absolutely.

That's that's a great way.

Remember to pause when the queue happens.

And then another choice.

Yeah,

Amazing.

So that that's one way.

That's one way,

Meal plan a week then create a grocery list.

Yeah.

So,

Some ideas from the book,

Like,

Keep track of your habits.

Okay,

So create a scorecard of your habits.

So,

Basically,

It invites you to start writing down what you do,

And then it has an example for a morning,

What do you do in the morning so you say,

I wake up,

I turn off my alarm,

I take my phone,

I go to the bathroom,

I weigh myself,

I brush my teeth,

I whatever,

I drink coffee.

So you do that and then you identify,

And then the book says to do this.

So,

Start thinking about the habits.

And then,

Beside each step and each habit that you have,

You can put a negative,

If it's a negative habit,

You can put a plus if it's a positive habit,

Or you can just put an N as neutral habit.

And then now you know,

Oh,

I would like to change.

For example,

Wake up is neutral,

Turn off the alarm is neutral,

Check my phone,

It's negative,

I don't want to do that first thing in the morning.

So now,

That's something that you can change,

But you need to become aware of it first.

Okay?

So,

Sandy says,

Firstly,

You need to set an aspiration,

Otherwise you'll keep failing.

I want to be healthy.

Sandy,

That's great.

And that's going back to the identity piece that we were talking about.

You want to become something.

And then when you embrace that identity,

Then you're going to question everything that you do to make sure that it matches the identity that you are becoming or that you became.

And if you say,

Like,

I am a healthy person,

I always eat healthy,

Then eating chips is not in the equation,

It's just not,

It doesn't match who you are.

Okay?

So that's an example.

So,

One example of creating a new habit according to the book is by being specific about,

I will do eggs at a specific time in a specific location.

Okay?

So,

For example,

Meditation.

I will meditate for one minute at 7am in my kitchen before drinking my coffee.

So,

You can do that and now you have a very specific action that is easy,

It's convenient,

And then you won't drink,

You don't allow yourself to drink coffee until you meditate.

You can even grab a piece of paper if you want,

Just make it fun,

Right?

You can just grab a piece of paper,

Write this,

And then you put it on top of your coffee mug.

And then when you are going to grab your coffee mug,

Even if you are sleepy,

You have to remove the piece of paper and you will see what it says.

It says,

Meditate for one minute.

So,

You will put your timer for one minute and just close your eyes,

And even when you click the on on the coffee maker and you are waiting for the coffee to brew or the tea,

You close your eyes and then you meditate.

And then one minute is probably not even enough time for the coffee to be done,

So you can even do three minutes or five minutes.

And then you are doing the habit stacking.

So,

You have the habit of drinking coffee or drinking tea,

So before doing that habit,

You stack another habit on top of it.

That's just one idea,

Okay,

Of making playful.

So,

I used to look at news in the morning,

But now I look at inside timer and get inspired instead of discouraged.

Savarna,

Thank you so much,

That's a great idea.

So,

You still check your phone,

But you choose different content.

Amy says,

There is a book called Bright Line Eating by Susan Pierce.

It is very straight,

But she has done talks on how atomic habits correlates with her eating program.

You can make it your own.

Amazing,

Thank you Amy for that.

So,

That was one example.

And then the habit stacking is another great way of doing it.

So,

You will stack a habit that you want to create on top of an existing habit that you are already doing.

Okay.

That's very important and that's something that is really helpful.

Okay,

What is something that I wanted to share?

I'm going to do the note to meditate on top of my coffee cup Emilio.

That's amazing.

Yeah,

Honestly,

Like,

Make it so visual and so convenient and so mindless that doing it is just easier than not doing it.

You know what I mean?

Like,

Not doing the habit is more frustrating than actually doing it.

And if you want to remove a habit that you are doing that you don't like,

Make it inconvenient.

So for example,

Our TV,

We have a painting on top of the TV.

And we have the remote inside the lower cabinet,

And our DVD player is closed with doors.

So,

We cannot just lay on the couch,

Grab the remote and tune on Netflix.

We cannot do that.

We have to set the intention,

Okay,

We're gonna watch TV.

Okay,

So I'm gonna move the painting out of the way.

I'm gonna open the doors.

I'm gonna tune on the power bar inside because it's off.

I'm gonna grab the remote,

And then I'm gonna sit on the couch and then watch TV.

So,

How intentional do you think watching TV is when you do that?

And how easy do you think just watching something because you are tired,

How likely is that gonna happen?

Okay.

So,

Try to try to do that with everything right if you take your phone too many times and you don't want to put your phone in a place that is inconvenient.

Put your phone in the next room to you.

Put your phone at the bottom of your backpack that you have to kind of do this.

If someone is calling you,

You're gonna hear it and you can still grab it.

But you are not gonna have your phone right here.

And then every time you want,

Okay,

Okay,

I'm gonna check,

I'm gonna check,

I'm gonna check.

No,

Because it's not convenient.

So do that,

Do that with any,

Any habit that you want to change.

What ideas come to mind,

Guys,

With the habit stacking?

Let's just be playful here.

Share some ideas.

I share the meditate on top of the coffee mug.

What else comes to mind for you?

So much wonderful sharing powerful ideas.

My fingers have been busy typing notes.

Thank you,

Katherine.

Tom is thinking,

Okay,

Tom,

I can't wait to see what you write.

I like that you are thinking.

I am a member of the Mindful Morning Community Circle and it encourages me to meditate daily.

151,

000 members born from an Inside Time Challenge to meditate daily.

That's amazing,

Sandy.

So what are some habit stacking ideas that come up that you can implement right now in your home,

Right now in your life?

Just make it playful.

What is it?

Just share some ideas because free audiobook on YouTube.

So I have my coffee to my Inside Time and rehab exercises.

Amazing.

So you make up,

You make the habit of when you are drinking your coffee,

You are actually doing the other thing.

That's amazing.

Savannah and Beth,

My day isn't as good as when I start my day with IT2.

Joining Emilia's Life is a bonus self-care activity that I look forward to.

Thank you,

Vicki.

Empty the dishwasher and sanitize counters while morning coffee is brewing.

Don't just stand there while it drips into the cup.

Amazing.

I love it.

I love it.

That's with my dog in nature every day.

Even if it's really cold outside,

It opens up my mind a bit and makes it less about myself.

Thank you,

Susan.

That's wonderful.

Well separated,

I start off with a couple sips of coffee,

Do my meditation,

Then do my back exercises.

Amazing,

Vick.

Amazing,

Liz.

Vicki says,

I listen to course classrooms while washing dishes and folding laundry.

I do the same thing.

I listen to courses,

I watch content on my phone on a little tripod,

And then that task becomes way more fulfilling for me than just doing dishes or doing laundry or cooking.

So I do the same,

Vicki.

I love it.

I love doing that.

Okay,

So anything else,

Guys?

Habit stacking wise.

You know with my coffee,

Brainstorm memories,

Topics,

Ideas on a memoir.

Step on the patio and breathe fresh air when finished.

Amazing.

So one of my wife's aunts,

She wanted to deep breathe more often during the day.

So what she did to cue herself into remembering is like she got these little round color stickers.

Okay,

And then she put stickers everywhere at the office,

At the printing machine,

At the coffee machine,

In her chair,

On her computer desk,

Everywhere,

Right?

So every time she went to work,

Any time she saw a dot,

She just stopped and took one deep breath.

Like,

And then she went on with her day.

Maybe she went to print some papers to the printing machine and while she was waiting,

Guess what was there?

A dot.

So she saw the dot,

Oh,

Breathing.

So she did that.

And then,

Do you know what happened?

People at her office started questioning,

What are all these stickers about?

And then she commented with them like,

Oh no,

I'm trying to deep breathe more often.

So I put a sticker so that when I can see it,

It cues me into at least taking one,

That one deep breath.

And then if I do that every time I see a sticker,

I will deep breathe a lot of times during the day.

And then she was describing that she was going to print something and then there she was,

A coworker there,

Waiting for the printer.

And what do you think she or he was doing?

Deep breathing.

People waiting for the coffee and they were like,

And then each other were saying,

Hey,

Have you deep breathed already today?

How many times have you done deep breathing?

And then it became this playful game in the office.

Something that became a simple sticker became this huge thing at the office.

So this is how much power being playful about habits can be and being accountable to each other by sharing what you are doing.

This is something that is so important.

When you share openly what you are trying to change,

You are giving other people the permission to join you,

The permission to help you and the permission to ask you.

Right.

So for those of you who are looking for accountability partners,

Start sharing what you are doing with everybody in your life.

Everybody.

You never know who is going to be the person who will say,

That's amazing.

Can I join you?

Oh,

That's amazing.

I would love to be your accountability partner.

Oh,

That's amazing.

I want to do that.

How did you do it?

And then you are opening the door to deep conversations,

To them doing it with you,

To beautiful things.

So make sure that you just share everything that you are doing.

So Amy says,

I set an Alexa timer every hour,

Reminding me to breathe.

It was surprisingly hard to stop what I was doing just for one full breath.

Yeah.

Amy is so amazing how busy we are.

And it's like we all have the time to breathe.

We just don't allow ourselves,

But it just takes three seconds,

Four seconds,

Six seconds.

Who doesn't have six seconds?

Honestly,

If we don't have six seconds,

Something really wrong is happening.

I know that story.

Yeah.

So,

Guys,

What ideas come to mind on how to be playful with these things?

Just think about it.

Just think about ways that you can embrace new habits with playfulness.

I have been building habit of deep breathing at traffic,

Light and heavy highway traffic.

Amazing,

Katherine.

I'm pretty sure that you don't have road rage anymore,

Do you?

Are you this person behind the wheel like,

Wow,

You cut me off.

What are you doing?

I have two friends,

Two friends specifically that when they get behind the wheel,

Guys,

I don't want to drive with them.

I don't know what's going on,

But they become this huge monster.

They start screaming.

They start like become so anxious.

And it's like,

I don't want to drive with you.

I drive in my own car or I go in the backseat with my headphones on because I don't want to witness what's happening here.

One of my friends gets on fight all the time.

He said,

You are crazy.

Why?

What's the point?

Because they don't know how to drive.

It's like,

OK,

I guess it's worth it to like.

He was sued twice already.

Two times he was sued because he got in fight.

Even when he's riding his bicycle,

He's like fighting with people everywhere.

It's like it's just so it's just so funny.

So how long does it take to create a new habit?

If I breathe any deeper,

I'm going to pass out.

Meditations help.

That's funny,

Vicky.

Apparently,

New Year's asks each other what they are up to,

Not to find out someone's salary,

But to see how they can assist each other.

I'm guessing not complete strangers,

Though.

That's nice,

Andy.

Susan says one minute.

One minute to create a new habit.

What do you guys think?

How?

How long it takes to create a new habit?

Does it take one week?

One hour,

21 days,

90 days.

OK,

Eight weeks if talking about exercising,

21 to 30 days,

21 days,

Two weeks.

Yep,

I just did with the coffee maker 90 days.

OK,

So the book says this and I agree with this 100 percent.

So you are trying to create something automatic,

Like a habit.

And then these are the repetitions,

Right?

So the more you repeat,

The faster you will create the habit.

But guys,

There are a lot of things in here.

Like if you are trying to change a habit that is not emotional for you,

For example,

You're going to change it faster than if you are facing a habit that is very emotional.

If you want to do something that triggers you emotionally speaking,

You will have a hard time repeating that because it's painful.

And if you don't repeat it very often,

You won't create the habit as fast.

For example,

If you want to become a runner and some of you say it takes 90 days to create a new habit.

So if it needs repetition,

If you run once a week,

One person runs once a week,

Another person runs three times a week for five minutes,

Or even three minutes,

It doesn't matter.

And another person runs once a month.

How long it takes to become a runner to create the habit of running.

Is it going to be the same amount of time for each person or is it going to depend on their consistency,

Right?

So at the end of the day,

And I agree with this,

It's not about the time.

There is not a 90 day rule because if you allow yourself 90 days but you don't make repetitions in that time,

It's going to take longer for you.

If you allow yourself 90 days and every single day you repeat,

Repeat,

Repeat,

Most likely you're going to create that habit way faster.

So when creating new habits,

Think about how many times you are repeating that habit.

The more you repeat it,

The easier it's going to be for the brain to remember.

The more autopilot it's going to become,

Okay?

And then you're going to need way less time.

Yes,

So be gentle.

Kind gets to put its heart in our culture to reach out,

But habits are formed for a reason.

Absolutely.

Habits are formed always for a reason.

How about studying?

How can I make it a habit,

Especially with ADHD?

So Rosa,

The book also talks about the environment,

Okay?

And what I have seen with ADHD and ADD people I have helped with,

It comes down to limiting the amount of distractions,

Limiting the amount of attention,

Time waste as I call them,

By creating simplicity everywhere you are.

So the more simplicity you have around you,

The easier time you're going to have to do what you want to be doing.

So the physical environment is going to cue you into doing something.

If you have a lot of clutter around you,

A lot of competing tasks waiting for your attention,

And you're trying to study,

You're going to have a really hard time.

If you are in a space that is clear,

It's simple,

You feel well,

And the only thing on your desk right now is your book and a pen,

For example,

Or whatever you need to study,

Making the study habit,

Forming that habit is going to be way easier than if you are surrounded by distractions.

That's just one thing that I observed,

And let me know if that's something that you resonate with,

But I have witnessed that anytime I'm helping someone with ADD and ADHD,

Decluttering in general,

It's very very helpful,

Very very helpful.

Okay,

Thank you for sharing ideas,

I have notes all over my house and in my car,

Like don't drink,

You won't be glad you did,

Also have a timer set every hour,

11 to say positive things to myself,

I have a ton of little things I do,

That's amazing,

But much less to keep going forgiveness and not beating myself up.

Yeah,

I screw up one day,

Not allow it to tune into another day,

Yeah,

Amazing,

Debra,

That's beautiful,

When you are trying to form a new habit and you drop the ball,

Because we all will drop it,

Guys,

We all will drop it,

Instead of beating ourselves up and being,

Telling ourselves names and bad things,

Just say to yourself,

Okay today I dropped the ball,

But tomorrow is a new start.

Tomorrow I will do it,

Or this afternoon I will do it,

So I'm gonna set my intention to do it again,

I'm not gonna let this myself dropping the ball condition what I'm going to be doing in the future,

Okay,

So that's really really important.

Time is surely relevant if it's a time dependent habit,

Example,

A morning ritual,

So one wouldn't be able to instill the new habit any faster by practicing multiple times a day,

Yeah Sunday,

Absolutely,

So that's why it's important to understand how many times can you repeat the habit,

Right,

If you are trying to form a habit that it is related to you waking up,

The maximum amount of repetitions,

Unless you have three naps a day and you do that routine every time you wake up,

It's normally once a day because you wake up once a day,

Right,

So absolutely,

The repetitions are conditioned to that specific task,

Okay,

If you want to create a habit of doing something that only happens once a week,

Then you only have one chance a week to do it,

So it all depends on the habit that you are trying to create,

The environment and the amount of repetitions that you can do.

So Brenda says,

Rosa,

I agree with Emilio,

Also try studying in smaller chunks of time with breaks,

It might help,

Yeah,

Yeah,

And then the book talks about the convenience,

Guys,

The convenience is so so important,

Make things convenient,

So make the things that you want to do convenient and make the things that you don't want to do very inconvenient,

Because when we are on autopilot,

We don't think,

So we just do what it's easier for us to do,

And if we have the familiarity of doing a habit that we want to remove,

If we don't make it difficult,

We're gonna keep doing it,

But if we make it difficult,

It's going to trigger,

It's going to like frustrate us,

It's going to maybe remind us,

Oh,

I don't want to do this,

Or if you do it,

It's gonna be painful to do it,

It's gonna be like,

Ah,

It's not convenient,

It's not easy,

It's not fast,

So I have to do this and remove this thing from here,

And so try to do that,

And that's gonna help you condition yourself,

Set yourself up for success.

Could there still be benefit for meditating throughout the day for easier practice in the morning?

Just an idea.

Yeah,

Absolutely,

Meditation is another thing,

Right?

Depending where you are at,

Some people can meditate for 20 minutes in one go,

Some people are having a hard time,

They want to meditate,

But they cannot find the time,

So why don't you start meditating for like 10 seconds,

And then 15 seconds the next day,

And then 20 seconds the next day,

And then you start increasing very,

It's not painful,

It's so easy to do,

You can do it anytime,

Right?

And then you start maybe have it stuck in your meditation with,

Anytime I'm brushing my teeth,

I am meditating.

Anytime I'm waiting for my coffee,

I am crossing my eyes,

I'm just waiting for my coffee.

Anytime I'm on a light,

I am actively trying to meditate.

You know what I mean,

Like you can include this throughout your day so that it becomes an easier way to do it.

So if anyone wants to go through the book,

The Artist Way by Julia Cameron with me,

Please friend me.

Her book is a full clear system to excavate your buried dreams.

Amazing.

I'm gonna write it down.

Emi,

We are doing this,

Having trouble finding how to friend.

Okay.

So guys,

We are,

We are at the end of the session,

Like,

These are some of the ideas that the book shares,

I really love this book,

Deserves a good full read,

If you are interested in changing habits,

I think it's important.

So let me know if you have any questions.

Sorry,

I'm missing some comments here.

So Deborah says I'm recovering from trauma which has resulted in alcoholism,

Eating disorder and things in my head.

I used to just give up and give in,

Self-care and self-love,

Even talking about it used to make even feel kind of sick.

Now I force myself to talk about it.

I have realized that self-love is the beginning.

Deborah,

So beautiful.

One of the practices that I do when I'm not feeling a lot of self-love,

It's I do mirror work.

So I stand in front of a mirror.

And then I look at myself in the eyes.

And I try to start by pressing myself for things that I'm proud of about myself.

And then I try to tell myself nice things like I love you Emilio,

I'm very proud that you did this.

And then once I do that a little bit,

That pressing,

Then I dive into the topic that is triggering me,

Right?

Maybe Emilio,

I know you're having a hard time when you are thinking of this person or when that happened or I know maybe you're going into the dark with this specific topic and that's triggering you a lot.

So you start diving with yourself.

It's like a conversation with yourself,

But you are looking at yourself in the eyes.

And I find that this is like just read Ruiz Hayes' books.

She talks about self-love and mirror work.

She really recommends it.

And honestly,

I've been doing it for years and you don't have to do it every day if you don't want to.

But every now and then when you're brushing your teeth,

When you are in a traffic light in your car,

You have a mirror there.

Just use it.

Just look at yourself and then just check in with yourself.

Check in what's going on Emilio.

And if you can even look at yourself,

That's already a sign that you have to do more often because there is a lot of stuff in there.

So self-love,

As you say,

Is so important.

And if you want to explore more the idea in the course that I have about self-care,

I have a 10-day course,

You can learn about this practice and other practices for self-love,

Like affirmations,

Visualizations,

Combine them all together and you create a practice that you feel aligned with.

So I hope that helps you and yeah,

You hit the nail on the head.

Self-love,

Guys,

Is normally the starting point for anything that you want to change in your life.

Self-love and forgiveness.

If you cannot do those two things,

You are going to have a really hard time changing because you are going to be stuck with those emotions,

Right?

So I hope that helps and I hope that your self-love practice grows and grows.

Okay?

So let me see what am I missing here?

Prescribe ADHD medication from a great MD,

Change my teen daughter's life.

Not for everyone,

But it was a game changer.

Yeah,

Like when it comes to addressing ADD,

ADHD and any other sickness,

Guys,

There are always a lot of different entry points,

Okay?

And there are a lot of things that you can combine too.

So there is not a right secret magic formula that everybody needs to follow.

Like there is the environment,

There is your mindset and self-love and forgiveness.

There is physical medication.

Physical medication sometimes is necessary,

Even temporarily or maybe long term.

Again,

You need to tweak and test and then see how you feel.

See what's working,

See what's not.

I will not recommend that you expect a pill to do all the work for you.

I will not recommend that,

Okay?

And this is me talking from witnessing my sister with schizophrenia since she was 14 years old,

Me witnessing my dad with bipolar disease.

I have been surrounded with a lot of mental health in my life.

I live over like 10 years in a very,

Very difficult environment.

And I have seen what medication can and cannot do.

So medication is necessary sometimes and it's really helpful,

But it is not the only solution and it is not the solution.

There is,

There has to be work associated with it,

Okay?

You have to do the work.

You have to love yourself.

You have to forgive.

You have to practice self-care.

You have to do things that feel aligned with you.

A pill is not going to do that for you,

Okay?

That's just my own opinion,

Okay?

You can have your own opinion.

My circle name,

Jay,

Is your thriving lifestyle,

Okay?

If someone can type it in the chat,

I would really appreciate that.

I'll send you the name shortly,

Amy,

Okay?

Yeah,

Thank you guys.

I'm seeing a few donations here.

Thank you so much.

If you enjoy this session and you feel inspired to,

You can always donate.

And if you don't feel like donating money or donating using this button,

You can always like,

You can join my courses.

I have two courses right now.

And then you have access to the course classroom.

And then I will be there sharing audios with you if you have specific questions,

Okay?

So you can do that and that's a great way to support me.

Emilio,

I agree medication can't do all the work.

We need self-love too.

Yeah,

Guys,

Because when you have a,

And this is what I saw from my sister,

Right?

Like she developed schizophrenia,

But her deeper needs,

Her root needs,

Where she needed to be loved from my dad,

She needed to have connection with people,

She needed to find an avenue for all her creativity to get out and she didn't know how to do that.

So she had such deeper needs that I could see and I could understand,

Right?

But then when I was going to the doctors,

First,

The doctors couldn't spend so much time with her.

They couldn't know who she was because they didn't live with her.

I live with her every single day.

I saw her habits.

I saw how she reacted.

So I'm not a psychiatrist by any means,

But I know my sister,

She lives with me.

Like I see her waking up and I tried a lot of things with her and I understood what she needed.

But the pills were only like the symptoms that she was expressing.

That's what all the medical doctors were diagnosing,

Right?

But no pill is going to help you heal and cover the true need that you have inside of yourself.

And that true need that my sister had was for autonomy,

Was for love,

Specifically from my dad,

Because my dad,

He has a way of expressing love that is not very emotional,

It's not very clear.

And he only points at things that you do wrong because that's his way of believing that that's how you can become better,

Right?

By just pointing out what you did wrong,

But he has a hard time praising people.

But he was raised that way too.

So it's not his fault.

He's just,

That's what he learned.

So my sister has so many needs and my sister was very intelligent.

And sometimes kids who have so much intelligence and they are in a system that doesn't promote that or doesn't give them an avenue to express that,

They just feel overwhelmed.

They just feel they don't have an avenue to express that in any way.

So I have a schizoaffective bipolar disorder that started at age 26.

I've been stable for 11 years with medication,

Psychotherapy and focused on self.

Thank you so much,

Erin.

That's amazing.

Thank you for sharing.

My sister is on long-term medication and my dad is also on long-term medication.

My dad tried to get off medication sometimes and then he just went back to the hole really quickly and he became this uncontrollable mass of energy.

Honestly,

It was,

And then the medication brought him into a depression and then stable.

And now he has been stable for the last like 10 years,

I would say.

So yeah,

Medication sometimes has a place,

Of course,

It's absolutely,

But everything combined works better.

So I can find your circle.

Yeah,

If you cannot find the circle on the app,

You can go to my profile and you can go to the about.

And then if you scroll all the way down,

You will see the circle in there.

Okay.

So Erin,

That's awesome.

May your strength continue to sustain your dear heart.

Yeah,

Erin,

And you were sharing a lot of great strategies that you were doing.

So it seems to me that you are not allowing that sickness to like control your life.

And that's beautiful.

I'm really proud of you for being able to find that way.

Right.

Not everybody can do that.

Totally.

They can make it possible to do things to help ourselves to get out of bed and more and move.

Yeah.

That's why I find that what I witness is that anytime that I saw my sister and my dad going into crisis mode to the point that they lost control of themselves,

That's where medication has a place.

Right.

Because it calms them down.

It brings them to a level that all of a sudden they are not as charged.

They are.

So it's always the same.

They take the medication and then they go to the hole.

They are like,

Oh,

They can barely walk,

Talk,

Don't recognize anyone.

But then they start coming afloat and then it's like they are coming out of a dream.

It's like,

What happened?

What did I do?

And then at that state,

That's when they tried to dose,

Justify the medication in a way that keeps them there.

But then once you are in that space of self-control to to name it something,

That's when you have the ability to,

OK,

I'm going to do a little bit of self-love.

I'm going to do.

So you have to find that that balance of now I feel a little bit energized to do something for myself.

And then when you start doing those things,

Then you start improving your mental health,

Your physical health.

And then hopefully by maintaining those things,

That allows you to avoid going back to to those old.

But,

Yeah,

It's very complicated,

Guys.

Sometimes mental health is very complicated.

It's very unique for every person.

And I don't believe there is a right or wrong answer.

It's just trying different things until something works.

Emilio,

My highest respect for your experiences,

You are a precious gift to your sister and father and to us.

Thank you for sharing.

You're welcome,

Becca.

Yeah,

To end the session,

I just want to say that.

So 10,

Almost 20 years ago,

I did tell my parents that my sister needed to live by herself.

OK,

She needed independence.

That's what she was craving.

But they just didn't want to let that happen.

And so I left the house.

I became independent and I just couldn't handle living there anymore because it wasn't healthy.

And it's still not healthy,

To be honest.

It is not.

They chose to live a life that is too complicated and unnecessary.

But that's me.

And I understand that they are the parents.

But now they went for a trip and they spent four months outside of the home.

They spent four months visiting families,

Staying in different places.

And then they realized,

Wow,

Like your sister has done great.

She's doing fine.

So it's like it's taking them all this time to like open themselves up to the possibility of maybe she needs independence.

Maybe she's able to be independent.

Right.

And that was 20 years ago that I had that need.

And I knew that she was able to do it,

But I couldn't facilitate that for her.

My parents didn't let me.

So again,

Sometimes takes different timing for different people.

And I think we all do our best.

So I guess that's that's the conclusion.

We all do our best with what we know and what we have.

Emilia,

Your transparency and vulnerability.

So that's thank you so much,

Guys.

Yeah.

So,

Guys,

Thank you so much for being here today.

We covered the contents of the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.

I know we talk about a lot of different stuff,

But I like that sometimes the session flows in different ways and that's OK with me.

So the name is Atomic Habits.

OK.

I really encourage you.

If you are trying to change habits,

I feel that this book has lots of great ideas.

It dives deeper into the how we form habits,

The four stages,

And then how to remove all habits and how to create new ones in a very practical way,

Very tangible and practical way.

So if you are curious,

Just read the book.

He also has a newsletter and a website full of resources and articles in his blog,

Because he was a writer long time before he wrote the book.

OK,

So make sure you just check all his articles.

They're amazing.

All of them.

So I hope you learn from that.

And then I will see you next week on Tuesday.

OK,

I change the session from a Q&A to deeper intentions for decluttering.

That was your request last Tuesday.

So I change the session to to be that.

OK,

So I will see you on Tuesday.

And in the meantime,

Keep enjoying the inside timer.

Keep taking courses,

Listening to audio tracks,

Practicing self-love and habit stacking.

And please share in the circles what you are doing regarding playful ways of changing your habits.

I think I think the playfulness is what gets people excited,

Because if not,

It's just boring,

Guys.

No one wants to change.

Change is not fun.

So how can we make it fun?

And just share how you make it fun,

Because that way the same story I shared about the stickers or about the putting the lid on the coffee.

If you come up with ideas,

Something sparks in your mind,

I would really love if you can share it so that we can all try it.

OK,

And thank you so much,

Guys,

For your donations.

Have a wonderful weekend and I will see you on Tuesday.

OK?

OK.

Adios,

Guys.

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